#virgil and jnaus being brothers is my favorite thing btw

[ssidesblog]

frame the halves and call them brothers

remus centric, 2,935 wc, ao3

remus meets janus, who proceeds to psychoanalyze him (and virgil is exhausted)

Remus did not wake up early. Or rather, he didn’t like waking up early, not usually. But that morning, Remus woke up with an excited buzz despite the fact he was awake before 8am on a Saturday. He rushed to get dressed, slipping on a flannel that was two sizes too big and had rips in the wrong places, a pair of black pants (the ones Patton loved to describe as his church pants since they were so ‘holey’), and his pair of blue ladder laced Doc Martens. Looking at himself in the mirror he couldn’t help but grin. Contrary to popular belief, Remus took a great deal of pride in his appearance, and to him, looking like the definition of the word ‘punk’ made him very content and happy. 

His mom sat at the kitchen table, already in her uniform for one of her jobs. Remus walked over to her and bent down to plant a kiss on her cheek. 

“Good morning, sweetheart.” She greeted him. 

“Morning.” He replied with a smile that showed off his chipped tooth. 

“You’re extra excitable this morning.” She commented and stood from her seat. 

“What can I say, I love facing the consequences of my actions.” Remus said, opening a granola bar and following his mom to the front door. She rolled her eyes with a chuckle and grabbed her keys from the hook by the door.  The ride to the school was quiet. Remus knew she was still pissed at him, even more so at Virgil and was not excited for him to be around the kid who beat him up. They pulled up to the school and just as Remus opened the door to leave she spoke. 

“Please behave yourself, mijo.”  She sounded exhausted and looked the part as well. Remus’s stomach knotted when he realized just how tired her whole existence was. He nodded, not trusting himself to talk, and left the car. He watched her pull away with a sort of sadness. He quickly shook away whatever he was feeling and entered the high school. He walked into the gym where Mr. Young was waiting along with a few other students. Remus noted he didn’t see Virgil, meaning he was early to something for once. He sat down on the bleachers and shortly after Virgil walked in with someone Remus vaguely recognized from a few of his classes. The two walked over to Remus. 

“I just don’t understand how you can be stupid enough to also get detention.” Virgil said to the kid next to him. 

“I don’t think it’s fair,” The other person spoke, “Writing on the bathroom stalls shouldn’t result in this kind of punishment.” 

“You wrote ‘fuck 12’, Janus, what the hell did you think would happen?” Virgil asked incredulously. 

“Well I didn’t think I would get caught.” The kid, Janus, replied in a grumble. 

“You making fun of me for being a wannabe punk when your boyfriend acts like that is kinda fucked up, Hot Topic.” Remus said, inserting himself into the conversation. Virgil gagged while the other kid made a face of pure disgust.

“Never say that ever again, we’re brothers.” Virgil said. 

“Oh, fuck, sorry I couldn’t really tell,” Remus said looking from one to the other, “I’m guessing you’re step brothers or something?” 

“Actually, we’re twins, I just happened to get all the melanin,” Janus stated and then gestured to the left side of his face where splotches of pale skin stood in a contrast to the rest of his dark complexion, “Virge did have some kind of influence though.” 

 Remus nodded in understanding and Virgil looked at him with a scrutinizing gaze. 

“Please tell me you don’t actually believe that.” Virgil spoke in a desperate tone. Remus laughed a little too hard. 

“I know I’m dumb but I’m not stupid.” Remus said. Virgil put his head in his hands and mumbled something Remus interpreted as ‘I want to go home’. He lifted his head and looked from Janus to Remus. He leaned closer to Remus and lowered his voice. 

“My brother kinda hates you for punching me.” 

“It’s ok,” Remus spoke in a similar hushed tone, “My brother hates me for punching you, too.” Virgil raised his eyebrow but didn’t question any further, to which Remus was thankful. Roman wasn’t a fun topic to talk about unless Remus was making fun of him and right now, even thinking about him was making him upset. 

“Ok, kids,” Mr. Young addressed the less than 10 people in the room, “Each of you will be cleaning up the campus. We have proctors all around campus so don’t do anything that will get you into even more trouble. Come grab a trash bag and gloves and hop to it.” He gestured to the pile of garbage bags and boxes of gloves. Each of the kids shuffled over and grabbed their supplies. 

Once they were outside, Remus, Virgil, and Janus stuck together and picked up the same area in relative silence. Remus bent down to pick up a half eaten sandwich when he noticed Janus’s shoes; blue ladder laced Doc Martens. He grinned and fully stood up. 

“You killed a cop, too?” Remus practically shouted the question and gained the attention of the two boys, along with a few bewildered looks from surrounding students. 

“Excuse me?!” Virgil asked, his voice going up an octave or two. Janus looked down at Remus’s boots and then his own, a knowing look on his face. 

“Seeing as how this little shit,” Janus nodded in the direction of Virgil, “Beat the fuck out of you, I seriously doubt you killed a cop.” Remus barked out a laugh. 

“Half-pint has some moves you wouldn’t believe.” Remus pointed to his tooth and Janus moved closer to get a better look. 

“The little raccoon did that?” He asked with amusement in his voice. Remus nodded. 

“He pulled my head back and smashed my face into the ground,” Remus recounted the moment with a sense of nostalgia in his voice, “My mouth just so happened to be open.” 

“You don’t sound angry about it.” 

“Because I’m not,” The grin in his voice was evident, “I’ve always wanted to get into a fight and now I have a way of remembering it.” Janus gave a small smile and Remus counted that as a win. 

“Is your nose ok?” Virgil asked. 

“It’s fine, kid, no need to feel guilty.” Remus reassured him. It was feeling a whole lot better than the day before, the bruising made it look a lot worse than it felt. 

“I still can’t believe you did that, bub.” Janus spoke with pride as he ruffled Virgil’s hair, “I raised you well.” 

“You’re barley even a year older than me shut the fuck up.” Virgil’s voice didn’t actually hold any malice. 

“Oh, you’re older than us?” Remus asked, adding, “I could have sworn I’ve seen you in some of my classes.” 

“Oh, no me and you are the same age,” Janus said with a shit eating grin on his face, “V here skipped a grade so he’s a little baby.” Janus had turned on his baby voice and squished Virgil’s face. 

“Get the fuck away from me.” Virgil said and swatted his hands away. 

“Awww, little piss baby.” Remus cooed. 

“I hate both of you so much.” Virgil said, giving each of them a pointed look. 

“You know you love me.” Janus said and wrapped his arms around his younger brother, swaying a little from side to side. Virgil mumbled something into his shirt that made Janus chuckle. Remus watched them and felt a little part of his chest ache. 

“You’re not so bad, Remus.” Janus said, letting go of Virgil. 

“I’m all sorts of bad, but I appreciate it.” Remus said. 

They finished cleaning with a lot more talking and joking around. Remus felt happy having people to interact with who were brand new to his life. It was like a breath of fresh air. Once they were dismissed, Remus walked to the front of the school with the two brothers. 

“Do you wanna go over to the gas station?” Janus asked him. 

“I don’t have any money on me.” Remus said, shifting on his feet. 

“Don’t worry about it, V can buy you a slushie.” Janus said, already walking in the direction of the nearby 7/11. 

“Why do I have to buy it?” 

“You’re the one who beat the shit out of him, it’s the least you can do.” Janus said and winked to Remus. He snorted. Janus looked over at him and squinted, searching for something in his face. 

“I’m flattered, really, but it’s awfully rude to stare.” Remus said. 

“You look familiar.” Janus mumbled. Then his face lit up, “You do theatre, right?” Remus groaned. 

“No, that’s my brother.” He couldn’t help the disgust evident in his voice. 

“Oh, are you two twins?” He asked. 

“Sadly, yes.” Remus responded. 

“You don’t seem very fond of him.” Remus bit the inside of his cheek. 

“We just have a complicated history.” He said. Virgil and Janus both raised an eyebrow and maybe Janus’s joke about them being twins wasn’t too far off. 

“Aren’t twins supposed to be, like, super close and shit?” Virgil asked. 

“Virgil.” Janus said his name like a warning. 

“No, it’s fine, Roman and I are just,” Remus paused to think of a way to describe their dichotomy, “different. He’s the golden boy and I’m clearly not.” Remus said and gestured to himself. 

“Comparison creates a divide and causes nothing but harm.” Janus told him. 

“That’s the thing,” Remus was starting to get angry, “I was never the one to start comparing. It was our dad who always favored Roman. Roman who does nothing for himself; he people pleases and has no sense of an actual identity. But because he can follow the rules he’s the good twin.” Remus hit the crosswalk button harder than necessary. 

“You seem a lot more interesting.” Virgil said 

“Agreed.” Remus gritted through his teeth. 

“So then, why are you jealous of him?” Janus asked. Remus turned to him. 

“I’m not jealous of him.” 

“Yes you are.” He stated

“Janus likes to psychoanalyze everyone.” Virgil informed Remus. The crosswalk flashed the little picture of the man walking and the three boys imitated the motion.

 Remus thought about what Janus said as the two boys started a conversation of their own. Was he jealous of Roman? There was no way. Roman was self absorbed and egotistical, but only on surface level. He and Roman may not get along too well but they knew each other like the back of their hand. Remus knew how insecure Roman was, always scared of losing his good image, letting himself hide away parts of himself to look less weird. Remus was happier, Remus was unabashedly himself. So, why was he jealous of Roman?

“You ok, Rem?” Virgil asked, successfully gaining his attention. 

“Oh, uh, yeah I’m fine.” Remus responded. Virgil nodded and followed Janus inside the 7/11. Remus walked in after him. 

“What flavor do you want?” Virgil asked, grabbing a cup and a lid. 

“Mix the blue and the Coke.” Virgil made an audible noise of disgust but complied. He wandered over to the chip aisle and Remus went to the back where Janus looked at the cold drinks. 

“You never answered my question.” Janus spoke, not taking his eyes away from the energy drinks in front of him. 

“I don’t really have an answer for you, I don’t know why I am. If you asked my therapist it probably has something to do with my dad.” 

“That’s what all therapists say.” Janus opened the case and crouched down, picking up two cans of Monster. 

“I mean, they aren’t wrong, dads are just like that.” Remus accepted one of the cans. 

“I wouldn’t know, I grew up with two moms.” 

“That’s why you’re so put together, no trauma of having a father.” Remus said. Janus laughed and Remus decided it was one of the prettiest sounds he’d ever heard. 

“Why do you need a Monster if you also have a slushie?” Virgil asked, exasperated. 

“Extra energy.” He replied, handing him the drink. Virgil rolled his eyes and went up to the counter. 

“I don’t think Roman is as boring as you think.” Janus said. 

“You know him?” Remus asked. 

“I’ve spoken with him a few times, he’s very active in theatre and so am I.”

“So you knew I wasn’t him?” Remus asked. 

“He’s interesting in his own way,” Janus avoided Remus’s question, “I think you need to give him a chance.” 

“Easy for you to say, you and Virgil seem like perfect siblings.” Remus knew he sounded bratty but he couldn’t bring himself to care. 

“When I first met him, I absolutely hated him,” Janus started, “I was 11 and suddenly I had a younger brother. I was in a new home and the only familiar part of my life was my mom and even then she had split her time between me and Virgil. I didn’t want anything to do with him. I thought he was weird and too quiet. Poor kid just had anxiety and me and my mom moving in did nothing to help. I had to give him a chance and once I did, we found we were similar in our own ways, but more importantly, we were different. Now, I can’t imagine a life where he isn’t my brother.” Remus looked at Janus in awe. 

“Give Roman a chance, he may be completely different than you but what’s so bad about that?” Janus gave him a smile that on anyone else would look disingenuous but with him it was the most open expression Remus had ever seen on anyone. Remus could only nod. 

“Is J getting all philosophical on you?” Virgil joined Remus’s side as Janus went to pay, “I keep telling him not to do that to people. He’s so weird.” There was a smile on his face as he spoke, as if just the mention of his brother made him happy. 

“You’re one to talk.” Remus knocked Virgil’s shoulder with his own. 

“I know the kid who brought a worm into class, claiming it to be his pet is not lecturing me about being weird right now.” Virgil said and Remus laughed. 

“I forgot about that, I miss that little guy.”  Virgil rolled his eyes with a certain fondness in his expression. He handed Remus his drinks as Janus joined the two. They walked back to the front of the school to wait for Virgil and Janus’s mom. 

“It was nice meeting you, Remus, we should hang out again.” Janus said as a way of goodbye. Virgil waved and off the two boys were. Remus stood up and started his walk to his house. He didn’t live too far away and was at his house in less than 20 minutes. He entered the house and found Roman sitting in the living room, watching something on TV. 

“Didn’t detention get out like, an hour and a half ago?” Roman asked and eyed the slushie and can of Monster in his hand, a sort of sadness in his eyes. 

“I went to 7/11 with Emo and Janus.” He said and walked over to him. 

“You know Janus?” Roman asked in surprise. 

“I met him today, those two are actually brothers.” Remus laughed at Roman’s disbelieving expression. “I know, it’s a small world.” He handed Roman the Monster. He took it hesitantly. 

“I’m glad you had fun.” He said and opened the drink. They were quiet for a few minutes, Remus joining him on the couch and half paying attention to what Roman had put on the TV (it was Hannah Montana; he only watched that when he needed a distraction). 

“Why were you so mad when I got into that fight?” Remus finally asked. Roman chewed on his lip in thought before finally responding, voice soft. 

“Because I didn’t want you to get hurt. And I didn’t want you doing something you would regret and beat yourself up about later.” Remus felt a pang in his heart. 

“You saying you actually care about me?” Remus meant for it to come out as a joke, but the way his voice cracked and went quieter just made it sound pathetic. 

“Of course I care about you, you’re my brother.” 

Remus took in a deep breath and sipped from his drink. 

“I’m sorry.” He said after a pause. 

“Dude, are you ok?” Roman’s voice was filled with worry. Remus managed a breathy laugh. 

“Yeah, I am. Thank you for the concern, Ro,” Remus smiled at him, “It means a lot.” Remus kept his voice low so it wouldn’t crack, so it wouldn’t push pressure on his throat, so he wouldn’t cry. Roman nodded and turned back towards the TV. 

Remus knew it was going to be hard. Roman had always been this ideal his dad set for him, more of an idea than a person. And Remus thought, maybe, he’d always hold some kind of resentment towards him. But Janus was right. Roman was different in almost every way, but he was still himself. In the same way Remus was himself. Eventually, he would come to accept that, but for now, Remus was content watching Hannah Montana on their couch, on the verge of tears, Roman’s head somewhere else entirely. They were a collective mess of trauma but at the end of the day they were still brothers and Remus couldn’t imagine it any other way.