#virutal paper before it was too late lol

[thesoulbound]

@storiesofthenight (Dean) // Drabble.

“Just read it, okay? Don’t be a bitch about it,” Sam said quietly. Handing Dean a rather thick envelope.

“Sammy. You’re the bitch, remember? I’m the jerk!” Dean pouted, accepting the envelope with a slight worried frown on his face.

“Things change, Dean,” Sam smiled.

“Not that, bitch,” Dean countered.

“Lucky for you, you can be both a bitch and a jerk,” Sam grinned, giving Dean a pat on the top of his head before backing off,

“Just read it okay? Seriously,” he insisted. Patting his thigh for Bones and Miracles to follow him so Dean could be left alone on the porch to read.

Dean watched his little brother leave the porch and walk down to the lake by their cabin. Because yes. Who would be surprised that the two Winchester brothers wanted to spend eternity together? No one. The lovely little thing though was that now they could go see their other loved ones when they felt the need to. Now they were at peace. It was just a relief for both of the Winchester brothers to know that they found that peace together as well.

The first thing that came out of the envelope wasn’t the letter, but a photograph. He didn’t know how Sam had gotten it, but considering this was Heaven, Dean wasn’t about to sit and think too hard about it. Turning the photo over it didn’t take long for tears to form in his eyes.

Sam Winchester. His little brother as an old man with his arm around a younger man that undoubtedly was his son. The son his brother had named after him.

“Goddamnit, Sam,” Dean felt tears in his eyes already and he hadn’t even begun on the letter. He watched the photograph for a long time. Seeing his baby brother an old man both broke his heart and made it soar at the same time. His boy. His brother. He got to live a full life. He got to die an old wrinkly man with a son that loved him by his side. He wished he could have been there through the latter half of his life more than anything else, but he did find peace in seeing Sam getting the life he deserved.

Reluctantly he put the photograph next to him. Smiling at photograph. Sam’s son looked just like him. Long hair and all. 

“Goddamnit, Sammy,” he chuckled before unfolding the letter.

Dean,

Somethings are too hard to talk about. Especially when there’s so much to be said. So I figured it would be better to write down on paper about my life. After you. Rather than to talk about it. None of us has ever been that good at talking about our feelings afterall. You worse of all. Don’t fight me on this. You know it’s true. 

Don’t worry. I’m not going to go into dreadful details. If I did that this letter would be even longer, but you should know that if there’s anything you do want to know, you can just ask. This isn’t my way of telling you we can never talk about things. I just wanted you to know the most important things.

First of all, I guess the roughest part is how my life after you started... the moment you were gone. You might mock me for this, but it’s the one day in my life I really can’t talk about without breaking. You’ve always had it in your mind that I didn’t love you as much back as you loved me. Or that you didn’t deserve it or whatnot. Well, you were always wrong about that. I love you. You were always the one I could count on. 

Okay maybe not always, but every relationship, be it friendships, or brotherhood, or romance, fail at times. But most of the time I knew you had my back, and the times you didn’t - your intentions were still pure. But you need to know that just because we had our bad times. I loved you just as much as you loved me.

Therefore, the day you died for the last time, as cliche as it sounds, I died too.

I don’t want you to feel bad about it. What soulmate feels anything but grief when their other half passes on without them?

Despite how hard life was after that, you need to know I’m not angry with you. It hurt that you think it would be just easy to move on without you. That I should just let you go. But I was never angry with you. I was angry because you deserved better. You deserved a life you claimed wasn’t for you. You deserved a child of your own. And well, considering how much you slept around, maybe you did have a child out there.

Dean paused to take a very long, deep breath while drying his tears. He would kick his brother’s ass for that joke, but fairs. He supposed he had a point there.

Anyway. I took care of Miracle the rest of her life. As you know. She lived a long life and died an old girl. Of course losing her was rough, but I suppose it was a relief to know that at least she would get to reunite with you. 

I left the Bunker after grieving you for a... let’s not go into details here, but I guess it was a long time. You know I never loved the Bunker the way you did. It never felt like home. Once you were gone it certainly was even less of a home because it hadn’t been in the first place. You were my home. You were Miracle’s new home. 

Years passed and I reunited with Jody and well, the hunters from the Apocalypse world. They helped me get back on my feet. They helped me become some kind of leader I guess. This was the way I met my future wife. Her name was Casey. Dean’s mother. A great woman, but we wouldn’t last. That’s why I never mentioned her to you. I wasn’t a great husband. As you know, I don’t exactly come with a tiny baggage and in the long run it became too much for her.

I don’t want you to think ill of her. She really is a good woman. She always made sure that my son. Dean. Would have both his parents in his life. 

Dean wasn’t raised as a hunter, but he was raised with the knowledge of it. He is fully educated in it, but works as an auto mechanic. He is the one who has taken over Baby back on earth. She will be very loved there as long as there is a Winchester to appreciate her significance. She was an extension of you and she was always home. I wouldn’t dare to not let it be known how important she was. Even if the whole world can’t know her importance in human history, all hunters know of her and the new Men of Letters will continue to care for her if no one else can.

The rest of my life I mostly made the new Men of Letters a thing. Not alone of course. Our old friends and the ones that came after will continue that legacy. And no, I did not go back to law school. Didn’t feel right after all the illegal shit we’ve been doing. 

Dean sat back in his seat. Needing a moment to put himself together. The fact that he was smiling and crying at once was just too much, but at least it wasn’t all too bad. 

He took a moment too admire the view from the porch of their home. Bobby didn’t live far away. Their parents. Jody. Distance wasn’t really a thing here. If the wished to see someone, they were never far away. Even if the landscape required one hell of a makeover to see them. Perks of heaven, he supposed.

He looked down towards the lake where Sam had settled down on the floating dock with Miracle and his own dog from childhood. Bones. That dog had been a pleasant surprise. 

Dean.

Dean looked back on the long, long letter.

This letter is already getting too long. At this point I’ve said some of the most important things I guess. From here on you can ask me if there’s something you want to know. 

I do want to finish off though by reminding you to not worry that I feel any anger or regret with you. Moving on from you is the single hardest thing I ever had to do. For the rest of my life I missed you. Even though I knew I would see you again. I can’t tell you how much it meant to me to see you waiting for me on that bridge when I came here. I don’t know if soulmates are still a thing, but I figure you’re still mine based on that. 

Now, I’d say we enjoy a well fucking deserved rest. One day you will meet my son. And I will help you find real peace. Because yes. I’m your brother. And I will always know when you say you’re fine, but you’re not. But give it time. We finally have all the time in the... world? Heaven? And now I’m here to make sure you find that peace. 

I love you.

Sam.

Dean folded the letter and shook his head.

You sappy son of a bitch. 

He could quite literally feel Sam’s beaming smile even though he was still down by the lake. 

Dean got to his feet, furiously drying away the tears on his cheeks with his sleeves before making his way down to his little brother and their dogs.

You want me to leave? I’ll leave, Sam challenged in his head and Dean lifted his head to see his brother not moving an inch on the floating dock. Both dogs had jumped in the water to swim around in circles. 

Don’t you fucking dare. I’m coming, you big sap.