#vs denethor who actively and passionately and fervently wishes he had time to mend what was broken between him and faramir

[lesbiansforboromir]

I read Theoden as being driven by shame, to be honest. He pretty explicitly rides out intending to die. If he doesn’t mention his son’s death or his failures as a king it’s because he’s desperate to expiate his shame over both, but the Rohirrim are not an introspective culture so I think it makes sense for him to not talk about it.

But the rohirrim aren't a NON-introspective culture either, and Theoden's actions are indeed motivated by shame because we know that! He tells us he feels guilt, he verbally regrets a lot, he verbally grieves Boromir! The absence of Theodred in his grief and guilt is incredibly noticeable. Especially in the moment where Saruman is trying to persuade him to turn to his side and Eomer steps forward and calls to Theoden 'What about the Westfold, what about Hama, what about Theodred, your son, whom Saruman assassinated'

And then Theoden speaks to Saruman and he says 'we will have peace, when you answer for the burning of the westfold, for the children who lie dead there, for hama whose body they hewed at the gate even after he was dead'. He purposefully leaves out Theodred!

And then there's him passing Theodred's cairn, they go through the fords of isen, Theodred's burial mound is in the centre and Theoden points out the other dead men that are now buried here who fought the battle Theodred lead, the battle that killed him! And Theoden says nothing, not in even in a quiet or thoughtfully silent way, he speaks about the soldiers, but he says nothing about Theodred. And I cannot find and explanation for this that ends with Theoden being a reasonably good father to Theodred. Or at least, that he is a good man who valued Theodred.

He is actually more sympathetic and mournful about Grima's loss than he is about Theodred's, even after knowing the misery he personally put Eowyn through. He misses Grima, he worries about him, he would eagerly forgive him if Grima asked it of him.