#vs flynn who's like: ''have we met? are you sure??? who are you and why are you giving me weird funky VIVID dreams of living together?!''

[yakny]

"Can't believe they're confusing you for me. You're... short." "177.5 cm is not short." "Grasping at that decimal. I see." "How about I grasp at your throat instead?" "You leave my throat alone. Went through enough yesterday." "But just not enough to shut you up for good, huh."

[handfulofmuses]

Skunk shenanigans 3.0 aka the rest of everything they have to offer so far:

Question: Rough and Tumble vs (80's cartoon) Bebop and Rocksteady. Discuss.

Flynn: It would be a comedy of errors, it would be delightful. Each one of them trying to upstage the other, forgetting why they are fighting to begin with and kind of get distracted by that fact and what were they even setting out to do to begin with? They don’t even remember. They tore up a city block and it’s like …. why? Anything that could go wrong will go wrong and it would be delightful.

–

Question: So, Rough and Tumble have already met Zavok and I think their interactions were pretty interesting. So, what would the skunk bros reaction be to the rest of the D6? Can they keep with the Zeti?

Flynn: It’s more like can the zeti keep up with them.

Kyle, laughing: They just get exhausted by their constant obnoxiousness.

Flynn: Oh yeah. Like, Zik would have no patience for their idiocy. They’d be picking on Zor way too much, they would be raiding the kitchen and pissing off Zomom. They would be picking fights with Zazz all the time which would make HIM happy. And then Zeena, they would be kinda into her and then fight over her and she wouldn’t want either of them and they would hate her and they get distracted by something else and go off somewhere.

Flynn: And Zavok would wonder why he would bring them along, did he bring them along? Did they just follow him, he cannot remember.

Kyle, laughing: Well …. knowing them, they probably just followed him.

Flynn: That should be like a one off or something. Rough and Tumble come to Lost Hex and just inadvertently accidentally stopped the next invasion by the deadly six.

Kyle: -LAUGHTER-

Flynn: Just by being such nuisances.

–

Question:

I came again, sorry to be humble but I thought of another question for Rough and Tumble. How memey or trendy are they?

Flynn: They are the type of guys who once they catch onto the meme it is already a little stale. And they ride it until it’s well past its expiration date.

Kyle: Oh. So me and you. -laughing-

Flynn: Mhm. MHMHM. MHMHM.

Kyle: Ah no we were at the forefront of big oof man -laughing-

Flynn: oh god

—-

Question: Quick! The IDW Sonic cast are playing a match of Team Fortress 2 in 2Fort on their PCs! Tangle, Whisper and Jewel on team blue, the bash brothers Rough and Tumble, Starline, Kit and Surge in team red. Think they'll do the objective and work together as proper classes, or will they muck up and have everything end in "Failure!"

Flynn: It’s gonna be a mess, that’s for sure. I mean, Tangle’s gonna go-

Kyle: Why are there so many people on team red compared to team blue I mean I guess Rough and Tumble only count as one because they only have one brain cell to share between the two of them and I guess Kit and Surge are a package deal it’s kinda required okay fine nevermind i found it out

Flynn: You got Tangle playing scout and Jewel playing medic but she can barely keep up with Tangle as she is flipping around the map. That’s the worst possible thing you can do expect Whisper’s sniper and nobody can get across the bridge or into the base

Kyle: -Laughing-

Flynn: Surge and Kit have the exact same thing she is playing scout he is playing medic so they just keep bouncing into Tangle and Jewel and not getting anywhere or doing anything productive

Flynn: Rough and Tumble are constantly swapping between Demoman and soldier, arguing over which one is better and blowing each other up, launching each other off of the map

Flynn: And Starline built his base and he refuses to move. If he moves somebody might blow it up he has to be there to maintain it. No one can get to the intelligence he’s FINE you go do your job he’s doing his.

Kyle: -LAUGHTER- He is just sitting there strumming that acoustic guitar. This is like the most terrible game of Team Fortress 2.

Flynn: It works by saying it’s a highlander match where there is only one of each class. So Rough and Tumble are arguing over who plays heavy and they never actually get into the match.

Kyle: Wait are they arguing over who plays heavy or soldier or demo man? Or all three?

Flynn: It kinda goes in the circle.

Kyle: Right.

Flynn: “FINE YOU CAN PLAY HEAVY I’M GONNA MOVE OVER TO SOLDIER” “wait why are you on this side” “because he can shoot and he can rocket jump well” “well then I WANT to be him” “YOU WERE GOING TO BE HEAVY” “I DONT WANNA BE HEAVY NO MORE” and so on and so forth

—

Question: Rough and Tumble find Erazor Djinn’s lamp and he has to grant them three wishes. What do they wish for?

Flynn: -laughing-

Kyle: -laughs along-

Kyle: They just argue over who gets the wishes, don’t they?

Flynn: Rough wishes for unlimited wishes. Tumble wishes for more wishes than Rough had and they fight over it and at some point they managed to rub the lamp all screaming “WELL I WISH NOBODY GOT NO WISHES”

Kyle: Mhm. And they wouldn’t get any wishes ultimately is what you are saying.

Flynn: Yeah.

Kyle: Good. -laughs-

—

Question: What would happen if Rough and Tumble went into the haunted house from Night of the Werehog? The one with the ghost girl and two ghost photographers.

Flynn: -amused laughter-

Flynn: There would be a great deal of screaming and running into things Because the ghost girl cracks up at people being terrified. And the two other ghosts who just live to serve love to frighten people take photographs. Rough and Tumble would spend the entire night running from these ghosts, running into walls, getting turned around, not escaping, flash bulb in the face repeatedly and it’s a good thing Law is already a ghost otherwise she would laugh herself to death.

—

Question: what would Rough and Tumble do on Valentine’s Day? I assume they would look for pretty girls, flirt with them in a rude, obnoxious way, get rejected over and over, and blame it on bad luck and say “Whatever. Their loss.”. What do you think?

Flynn: I think you are right for the money expect for the “whatever” part. Because after they spend most of the day getting rejected, they ruin it for everyone else. Outdoor cafes? Stink bomber.

Flynn: Any kind of delivery van full of flowers? It’s getting upended.

Flynn: Romantic walks in the park? No sorry you are getting thrown off the bridge and into the river.

Kyle: Sounds good to me. Just absolute insanity. Just complete conquest from them over anybody else.

Flynn: Well, you broke their hearts. They really did crumble. So your day is gonna be ruined by Rough and Tumble.

Kyle:-laughing- Oh NOOO! OH NOOO! Now I kinda feel bad for them.

—

Question: Did Rough and Tumble ever steal a rhyming dictionary as mentioned in the beginning of the Zombot arc? I need to know if mine is in danger of being stolen from them.

Flynn: -laughs-

Kyle: It’s a big problem.

Flynn: I feel like there was actually a line about them having one but unfortunately it got cut for some reason, I can’t remember the details as to why.

Flynn: But yes, they absolutely have a rhyming dictionary. They have a thesaurus and it usually gets destroyed in an argument how to complete their signature rhyme and they have to steal another one. So yes yours is absolutely in danger. Be on the lookout for very angry skunks, looking for literature.

—-

Question: Rough and Tumble are cool and funny, how do you think they would react to their fanbase?

Flynn: First they would be surprised that they have a fanbase. That people pay attention to them in a positive way at all. And they wouldn*t necessarily know how to handle that. At first. And then they would just revel in it. Entirely too much. They like, coast on that to all the unhealthy degrees try to grift their fanbase. Like, they - is cafe press still a thing? They be turning out their own merch left and right and selfies just plastered on clocks and socks and whatnot

Kyle: And live streaming Q & A on instragram.

Flynn: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

—-

Question: I know Rough and Tumble are a duo, but who would you throw on their team to make it a trio even if it was only temporary, and what would their team name be? There’s something so fascinating about sticking to a hard number, in this case 3, and matching who fits which type and what the team name is.

Flynn: That is the hard thing. Their entire gimmick is that they are a duo so anyone who comes in would be a third wheel. And it’s just the question of who would be the funniest third wheel to have at any given time. And who fits into their rhyming scheme the easiest. I will admit, in bad guys, I cracked myself up with them trying to create rhyme that included the entire team and everyone is just kind of rolling their eyes “why are we even with these people in that car” Rough was “THIS WAS INSPIRED COME ON” they are trying so hard to be team players and good boys

Kyle: They’re not bad. They just like to cause destruction and mayhem.

–

Question: I know Rough and Tumble are afraid of curses and Mummies, but do they have a huge fear of other paranormal activities like ghosts, monsters and other strange Inexplicable things?

Flynn: Of course not. They are MANLY men they ain’t scared of nothing they don’t fear no ghost or mummies and - what was that? What was that sound why is that door - that door was not open before ITS THE THING AT THE CLOSET RUN.

Flynn: Yeah, they are absolutely Scooby Doo and Shaggy level of jumpy at the paranormal.

Flynn: Now which one of them says zoinks I leave up to you.

—-

Question: When they get the ball, they won't fumble! It's Football time, with Rough and Tumble! Rough and Tumble learn how much money the average United Federation Football player makes and decide to make their own team. First, they have to kidnap-… I mean, DRAFT team members! As many or as few as you'd like, as they probably wouldn't know how many members make up an official team anyway. And thus, The Seaside City Skunks are born and make it into the league (somehow)! How does it go? Who do they try to draft? Do they make it to the Superbowl (legality be darned)? Does Seaside City file a lawsuit for using their name without permission? WHO IS THEIR MASCOT??

Flynn: Yeah so Seaside City actually has a team. It’s just they are like bottom tier. super lame, they have the bare minimum number of players to constitute a team but all of them kinda phone it in cause they know that they are just there to fill out the season so Rough and Tumble take it over no problem.

Flynn: But they realize real quick that they ARE the team at this point so they decide recruit more and they are sitting there thinking: Who can we get thats like fast and and strong and enjoys hurting people?

Flynn: “was that one…there was that one guy we worked with…” “YEAH TOTALLY”

Flynn: So they go to the Lost Hex

Kyle: -DYING OF LAUGHTER-

Flynn: They recruit the deadly six.

Kyle: I MEAN - YOU KNOW WHAT -KEEPS LAUGHING-

Flynn: And initially they are like -KYLE KEEPS LAUGHING IN THE BACKGROUND-

Flynn: “What’s wrong with you guys”

Kyle: IT’S A BAD IDEA BUT IT’S ALSO A GREAT IDEA. -LAUGHS-

Flynn: And Zavok is like: this is stupid enough to actually have my interest. Let’s see this through. And sure enough they work well enough together just to defeat the enemy and they steamroll everyone else in the league.

Kyle: -laughing- Yeah. So it’s Space Jam.

Kyle: -can’t stop laughing- Do they hire anybody else? Or is it just those eight?

Flynn: Those eight? That’s all you really need.

—

Question: Rough and Tumble meet Team Rocket. What happens, and how peeved do each team get that those other guys have clearly stolen their motto gimmick?

Flynn: -laughs-

Flynn: There was this episode where Jessie and James go into a motto off with their rivals, basically shouting at each other trying to overrule the other. I imagine something like that with Rough and Tumble.

Flynn: But ultimately, they would lose out because they don’t have a Meowth. Like, that’s just the cherry on top.

Flynn: And they are just “we don’t have a hyp man to end our little spiel wow these guys are good”

Flynn: Meanwhile Jessie and James are having a team huddle going. “They can actually change their slogan on the fly? We have to stick to a script! They are so versatile we really need to think varying things!”

Flynn: And that’s how Rough and Tumble joins Team Rocket.

—-

Question: - Seeking employment, Rough & Tumble are hired by none other than DuckTales 2017's Flintheart Glomgold! Their mission? Just help him bust up Scrooge's mansion and take all his stuff! How do they lose to the McDuck Family, and how long before R&T get fed up with Glomgold's heart of flint?

Flynn: -laughs-

Kyle: -laughs-

Flynn, laughing: What an episode.

Kyle: Yeah.

Flynn: I mean first sure, they would be on board. All they have to do is bust up some rich guys place and take whatever they want, easy peasy.

Flynn: Huey has some kind of junior woodchuck guide book way of laying traps through the manor to catch one of them.

Flynn: Louie just cons the other. He’s like “hey you taking our stuff?” “Yeah what are ya gonna do about it?” “oh nothing you can take the cheap stuff” looking at this solid gold “this is cheap???” “yeah you want the real stuff? come with me” and is leading him through the manor through trap after trap “keep coming the real stuff is down this way” leads him to the back exist “well here you thanks for the tour” “WAIT A MINUTE” and you know the third or fourth time they manage to get expelled from the manor, Glomgold is completely done with their antics “IM NOT EVEN GONNA INCLUDE MY NAME IN YOUR INTRO ANYMORE”

Kyle: -DYING OF LAUGHTER-

Flynn: They are crawling back into the manor out of spite and Scrooge is like “what do you even want in here look I give you each five dollars just to make Glomgold’s day worse”

Flynn: Webby kicks them out at some point.

Flynn: Dewey got his own subplot and is oblivious to the entire ordeal.

…

Question: Tail swap! Tumble gets Tangle's tail while Tangle gets Tumble's… lack of a tail. How do they handle this?

Flynn: Tangle is perfectly fine, what are you talking about? She does not need a tail for balance - whoops. No, she meant to trip. Oh, she is dizzy. She will be fine, she can get used to this. One less thing to worry about no more brushing she will be fine JEWEL HELP

Flynn: Meanwhile, Tumble is having the time of his life. (Singing voice) “Floof, glorious floof! Tail goes on for miles now~ Here jump roof to roof!” he is doing cartwheels, gymnastic dance displays, he has not moved from a 5 radius he is just revving in it.

Kyle: Wraps it around himself like a scarf. Then accidentally chokes himself.

Flynn: And when they come to take it back he remembers oh wait, it can punch too. And he becomes one of the most formidable multi-med fighter you have ever seen.

--

Question: How would they react if someone asks for a picture and an autograph?

Flynn: They demand you pay them. After you do, they sign the autograph, mug you, and steal the autograph!

Kyle: I was thinkin' they would just end up just arguing with each other over who has the better signature, or something like that, y'know? Kyle: And they just get into a fight, and, y'know, would end up… your picture would be destroyed. You'd have no autograph, but they would still abscond with your money, because of course they would!

[bestworstcase]

farran rereads lost lagoon: chapters 16-17

back at it.

re: romance novel: “I saw a patch of red flowers, and I thought they would be striking against Cass’s dark hair. She wasn’t exactly a flower wearer, but maybe she’d let me pin one on her dress? The color would set off her fair skin so perfectly. And she could at least keep some in a vase by her bed. I refused to believe there was a person alive who didn’t feel better with freshly cut flowers in her room.” that’s gay rapunzel

i do admittedly have some ambivalent feelings about this passage. on the one hand it’s - yes, very gay. but also it feels to me like such a clear illustration of the difficulty rapunzel has with empathy and listening to other people when their experiences or expectations or needs diverge from hers; she acknowledges that cass isn’t into flowers, but follows it up with “but maybe i can get her to wear some anyway,” and of course there’s the whole refusing to believe anyone could feel differently about having flowers in their room than she does. and it also has this weird undercurrent of - god, i don’t know how to phrase it in a succinct way.

this specific passage was on my mind when i wrote this bit in moonless air chapter 4: 

Still. She plucks at the stitches of her jack-of-plate, self-conscious.

It’s the nicest thing she owns. Soft green velvet sewn over sturdy layers of canvas and steel. Armor. She’d saved up for more than a year to buy it for herself on the anniversary of her adoption two years ago, and at the time it had been nothing but a frivolous luxury. Stupid, really. She’d never had real reason to wear it in Herzingen, not for anything besides teaching herself how to move with its weight and entertaining ridiculous fantasies—but last night, Moira had intimated that their destination in Vardaros is fancy as well as dangerous. So the jack seemed… appropriate.

Sharp. She twitches.

Clothing—fashion isn’t– Cassandra’s always hated dresses. It’s a trait that demands a certain amount of indifference to what other people think of her appearance.

And she can do indifference. Cassandra has indifference in spades. But nobody’s ever paid her a compliment quite like that before: baldly appreciative. Straightforward. Not like all the times Rapunzel coaxed her into tolerating crowns of late-summer flowers because the colors look so nice with your complexion! and not like the Commander’s gruff praise for how grown-up she looked in the hideous pastel gowns that had come with the lady-in-waiting gig.

because – like, cass is butch, and “not a flower wearer,” and here in lost lagoon we have this passage where rapunzel expresses this pretty straightforward attraction to cassandra but in the context of imagining cassandra presenting in a much more feminine way than she is comfortable with - in a dress with flowers in her hair etc - and it just... rubs me the wrong way a little bit. and this is not to say like cass can’t be butch and put a flower in her hair but when it’s paired with rapunzel specifically acknowledging that cass doesn’t WANT to wear flowers then it - yeah i feel weird about this passage. 

and that translated into cass having a whole little crisis over being complimented for her appearance without implicit pressure to be more feminine for the first time ever

anyways

i still can’t get over the name monsieur lefleur 

rapunzel summarizes hervanian culture as “brash but can be funny; distrustful but not mean-spirited” so, basically, they are americans

she is feeling very Prepared to meet with them, in contrast to every other time she’s met with foreign dignitaries or nobility before this. eugene tries to warn her that cass is PISSED with her and she just brushes him off, as one does, by saying that cass is “not all bubbles and moonbeams” but that she is “a softy” inside. 

of course this leads up to cass blowing up and going off while rapunzel tries to calm her down and just - groan this line. 

“People don’t change! You told a criminal a detail that puts my entire future at risk!”

how many times have i said “cass doesn’t act this way in tts” i feel like it’s a constant drumbeat. but i have to say, again, that cass doesn’t act this way in tts. i don’t think it’s unrealistic for her to think like this, given that her father is essentially corona’s chief of police and she idolizes him, but i feel the need to reiterate that there is zero sign of cass having this mindset in tts proper. and it does sort of bother me when people read this into cass’s character because it undermines and delegitimizes her dislike of eugene in early s1. 

which like. tts itself sort of frames their mutual dislike as a mutual problem, but it’s... really not? and imo the best illustration of this is in this exchange from cassandra vs eugene: 

CASSANDRA: Unbelievable. Did you eat all the cookies?

EUGENE: I’m not a pig, Cassandra. I ate all of your cookies; I’m saving mine for later.

CASSANDRA: Ugh– you are nothing but a self-serving, inconsiderate, arrogant freeloader!

EUGENE: [scoffing] You know, I can rattle off insulting adjectives describing your personality, too, but to do so would imply that you actually have a personality, and I just wouldn’t feel right about doing that!

this is the dynamic every time they squabble in early s1. 

1 - eugene does something selfish or thoughtless - in this case taking all the cookies and milk for himself. 

2 - cassandra calls him out for it, and he doubles down, often taking a potshot at her in the process. 

3 - cassandra gets mad and calls his behavior what it is (self-serving, inconsiderate, arrogant)

4 - eugene gets defensive and insults her as a person, typically with variations on calling her icy / unfeeling / humorless / joyless. 

which is to say, their fights are initiated by eugene’s poor behavior, and cassandra attacks his behavior but eugene attacks cassandra herself. like, eugene is the dude who insults you and then goes “pfft why can’t you take a joke” when you get upset with him. that’s what this is. 

moreover, when eugene’s, for lack of a better term, residual flynn rider-ness starts to taper off, cassandra’s criticism of his behavior also tapers off, AND she gets much gentler about how she phrases this criticism once he starts to actually take it on board. but there’s no accompanying shift in the way eugene speaks to and about her - the jibes about her being humorless or cranky or soulless literally never stop and at no point does he ever seem to consider that cass might not appreciate them as much as he thinks she does. 

(to be clear, i don’t think they bother cass very much if at all - but they do create and reinforce a perception on eugene’s end that cass Doesn’t Have Feelings and the background radiation of that contributes to the toxicity that develops in season 2.)

like again, pulling from cassandra vs eugene here, eugene is extremely insulting towards cassandra even when he’s ostensibly coming to her defense: 

RANDOM THUG: Look at that, Fancy-Boots has got something to say!

EUGENE: Name-calling? Come on, we’re better than that, aren’t we? Sure, we could sit here and make fun of each other—tease Cassandra for her chronic joylessness, or me for my uncommonly good looks, or you for your poor dental hygiene, tragic fashion sense, robust body odor, and what are clearly woefully misguided decision making skills, but do you really want to go down that road?

ALL OF WHICH IS TO SAY - besides demonstrating an obvious willingness to give eugene another chance once he starts doing the bare minimum to not be a dick to her, cassandra doesn’t like eugene because eugene is an asshole to her and takes the enormous privileges he is given completely for granted. 

saying “well she doesn’t like him because he was a criminal and she doesn’t believe criminals ever change” erases that completely and reframes the conflict as cassandra treats eugene unfairly because of bigotry that she needs to unlearn. lost lagoon takes this even one step further in that lost lagoon eugene is genuinely trying to be responsible, he is taking his new lot in life seriously. he doesn’t need cass to tell him off for acting like an ass because he doesn’t act like an ass. he shows actual interest in getting to know cass and makes an effort to break through her hostility in order to get along. unlike his tts counterpart, lagoon eugene really doesn’t do anything wrong, and that makes cassandra’s intense hatred of him on the grounds that he was a thief look completely irrational and, like i said, bigoted. 

it’s just very frustrating to me.

anyways

rapunzel tries very hard to persuade cass that it’s actually totally fine that she told eugene the secret because she just can’t keep secrets from eugene (except the lagoon which she has arbitrarily decided is totes fine to keep secret and i am pretty sure this contradiction never gets pointed out) - and cass is having none of it, and of course arianna interrupts before anything can get resolved. 

they rush out and monsieur lefleur interrupts them, asking questions about the lost lagoon. he reveals that he heard an ~elegant cloaked person~ inquiring about it in the library. he asks for the book. they say no. the red herring smells to high heavens, and the chapter ends with rapunzel subtly telling cass to hide the book ~for the safety of the kingdom~ and oh my god i just can’t handle the low stakes. 

seventeen picks up from there with cassandra’s point of view; she’s suspicious of lefleur and angsts a lot about how she has no time to train and she needs to get out of corona yada yada. her plan is literally to just walk until she finds someone to hire her on as a guard which. lol. this kid.

i feel like this is the strongest passage in the whole book: 

She said there couldn’t be any secrets between Eugene and her. But why—especially when it meant sacrificing my future and everything I held dear? I’d read about romantic love in poems, and it seemed to me like a spell. Sounded great for the lovebirds, but what about the other people.

Did I just not matter in the face of this love, even though I had been the one to risk everything to show Rapunzel the world? Was I just supposed to fall on my sword because Eugene was uncomfortable that he didn’t have every last piece of information about Rapunzel?

she has a brief argument with owl, who is a pretty obvious stand-in for her own doubts / feeling that she truly belongs in corona and doesn’t actually want to leave. but she has no choice! but it’s stormy, so she can’t leave! oh no!

(i think if tts really strongly felt she had no choice but to free corona, a measly thunderstorm would not be enough to stop her.)

[philip-seville-archive]

You Need To Calm Down || Phinnip

Summary: Phinnip get into a weird fight at a beach party for reasons they are too obtuse to figure out. Typical Friday!! 

@oh-phineas​

Pip Seville

Pip went to more parties than one would think, thank you very much. It was how he kept his reputation as a mid-ranked popular kid-- cool enough to hang out with Tony Rydinger without being Tony Rydinger. He was thus extremely good at mingling, and drifted from group to group effortlessly as he did his own form of networking among the secondary-uni mix that congregated on the beach's shores during the summer.

Phineas did not have such grace. He always entered a group at a party like he was the guest of honor.

And so Pip rolled his eyes. "Cool it, Flynn, it's summer! Who wants to talk about school right now?"

Phineas Flynn

Phineas shot Pip a look. Why did he always have to have a comment like that? "It's like they say about work. If it's something you like, it won't feel like work. And I know uni's gonna be epic," he argued. "Plus, I've definitely heard you talking about NYU this summer."

Pip Seville

"Um, since when? You stalking me and taking notes?" Pip said-- in a playful way though, promise. He smiled and everything. "I think the only time I've talked about NYU is when you bring up uni first."

Phineas Flynn

"More like I have ears. But sure, if you wanna believe that I don't have anything better to do with my time." Phineas smirked. Honestly, it was kind of the opposite-- Phineas was so busy with the play and his new business, he didn't actually see Pip much except at some rehearsals. "You know, come to think of it, it's been, like, forever since we hung out. What's up with that?"

Pip Seville

"Well, we don't have SSIC anymore, so..." said Pip, trailing off with a shrug. "What would we even do?"

And he'd expected this. He and Phineas were friends of convenience. Yes, Pip had grown to really like the guy (despite him annoying Pip most of the time) and he would miss him, but he had always known that as soon as Phineas graduated, it was bye-bye. That's part of the reason Pip decided to be annoyed at Phineas most of the time, honestly. Didn't want to get too attached when separation was inevitable.

Phineas Flynn

Phineas looked at Pip quizzically. It was... true. And it wasn't something Phineas would have admitted, because he just wasn't blunt like that. Phineas liked to imagine everyone he met was one of his buddies, and act like they were best friends. Even if it was basically just the equivalent of being someone's coworker.

But he also had always liked to think he and Pip were really friends-- that fight back in January wouldn't have hurt as much if they weren't, right? But... yeah, what did they even have in common?

Phineas wanted to keep the idea of it going, though. "I mean, I dunno, we went to Alton Towers that one time. It was fun." He smiled, back to his typical jovial nature. "We should do more stuff like that! Right? How about a camping trip? You, me, Tad, maybe that other guy you guys were hanging out with, Louie if it's not gonna make it weird for you, lads trip!"

Pip Seville

Pip could not help himself. He scoffed, barely bringing up his drink in front of his face in time to pass it off as kind of a half-cough situation. There was just--

"Sorry, I-- I'm processing the concept of a lads trip, give me a second--" Pip said, making a face. Ugh, he was gay and loved boys, but sometimes boys (like Phineas) were just so... boys.

"Okay, I-- actually, I'm curious why you think camping is the right activity for you and me. Genuinely, I would like for you to explain the thinking behind that specific choice considering the year you spent getting to know me."

Phineas Flynn

Phineas didn’t think it had to be all that deep. But here Pip was again, looking at Phineas like he was a bug under a microscope. It was so weird.

“I dunno, it’s just fun, right? I didn’t really think about it that much. But if you think it’s a dumb idea, like, sure, I guess. You have a better suggestion?”

Pip Seville

"I just don't think we have to do a big thing every time we want to hang out," said Pip. Also, he would loathe camping. Anyone who knew Pip knew that, but once again Phineas was displaying an unsurprising lack of awareness of people other than himself (and this was why they were friends of convenience).

"Like-- okay. If you really wanna hang out, why don't me and Tad meet up with you and that girl you're seeing for lunch," said Pip. "Oooor you could come over for a movie marathon. Or a board game tournament, so I could kick your ass in Settlers of Catan.”

Phineas Flynn

Phineas wasn’t sure how Vanellope would feel about it, but he had a feeling she would be bored, going out to lunch. Maybe it was because she was so interesting that Phineas was scared of letting her down.

How would she feel about board games? Phineas couldn’t be sure.

“Sure, yeah, we could do, like, a couples thing if you want,” Phineas said nonchalantly. “Not that I’d call me and Van a couple. We’re just, like, chillin’. But I get what you’re saying. I don’t know if she’s really into board games, though. She’s from New York, so, like...” Phineas made a face as though to say She’s really cool. “I think she’s a gamer, though. You ever play League of Legends?”

Pip Seville

Oh great. Video games.

Not that Pip didn't like them. He just liked...certain kinds. He was not the must skilled gamer in the world and he didn't have a lot of time to explore a lot of types anyway. "Uh... no," said Pip. That sounded like something Tad would like though. "I guess I could learn though, if that's like, her thing?"

Phineas Flynn

Phineas smiled proudly. He always felt cool, talking about Vanellope. “Yeah, she’s really good at that kind of stuff,” he explained. “Like, anything techy, really. Did I tell you she’s helping with the coding for my app?”

Pip Seville

No, he hadn't, but it didn't surprise Pip at all. After all, that was Phineas's new project. So he had a new partner.

Not that Pip was jealous okay-- the idea actually sucked in his opinion, and he did not think it was going to get off the ground.

"Oh? That is cool," he said. He at least sort of meant that. "Is she like, an official part of the Phineas-Louie team then? Your official developer or whatever you tech bros call it?"

Phineas Flynn

Ohhh, that was a good point. “Well, she’s definitely getting a free jacket,” Phineas said authoritatively. “Once our investor money comes in. I guess she should probably get an official title. Maybe she can be CTO. Since Louie and I are co-CEOs. I want her to feel appreciated, you know?”

Pip Seville

Pip really needed to meet this Vanellope girl. He wanted to see the type of chick that liked Phineas. Everything that Phineas said tracked, but he had to wonder how much was getting filtered through that very specific Phineas lens, you know? And there was only so much one could pick up on social (yes, he'd stalked her!!! No shame in that, everyone did it!)

Anyway, he thought Phineas sounded a little condescending right now but hey, he didn't know the girl! "Right, I mean, I hope so. If she's actually helping you code the thing. That seems pretty important for getting it off the ground," said Pip. "Have you found any investors yet?"

Phineas Flynn

Phineas was... bending the truth a little here. “Yeah, Louie’s uncle is loaded so that’s pretty much a done deal. I might hit up Mr. Simba, too, I feel like I made a good impression. But that’s just the start. I’m really trying to network, you know? Once we get to Pride U it’ll be easier.” @SWOOPING EVIL laur

Pip Seville

"Oh, like for school-funded grants and stuff like that?" Pip asked, and again, this was a genuine question, not trying to cut Phineas down. As if Pip knew how Pride U's business school worked! Maybe they had grants or scholarships for that kind of thing.

Phineas Flynn “I mean, maybe!” Phineas said, not really sure whether or not Pip was being sarcastic or trying to catch him in a lie but choosing to believe he wasn’t. “I just mean the networking will be easier— I’m sure my professors will have been through it, and there’ll be societies for that kind of thing, and I can get in touch with alumni... Know what I mean? That’s why I’m trying to meet Pride U people.”

Pip Seville

Yes, for once, Pip did know what Phineas meant. And honestly?

He was jealous.

Wanting to go to NYU meant that he couldn't do any of that before the fact. There were like, maybe some zoom meet-up things... maybe. But everyone knew that was bullshit. You had to be on the ground. Shaking hands, being charming. AKA what Phineas was trying to do right now (and Pip was sort of keeping him from doing, whoops).

"No, no, I get it," reassured Pip, since he seemed a bit flustered out of nowhere. "You're lucky that you want to go to Pride U honestly-- and your sister goes too. I'm sure you'll be fine when the fall rolls around."

Phineas Flynn

Okay, that was kind of weird. Phineas almost wanted Pip to go back to making fun of him.

“I mean, hey, it’s not like you committed to NYU. Nothing’s stopping you if you end up changing your mind,” Phineas pointed out, interpreting Pip’s statement as being jealous that Phineas was going to Pride U, not being jealous that Phineas wanted to go to Pride U. “You’d know so many people at Pride U. It’d be super easy. Just sayin’.” @SWOOPING EVIL laur

Pip Seville

AND he was right back to rolling his eyes at Phineas. Seriously?! How many times were they going to have this conversation? And like, why? What kind of weirdo measuring stick contest was this Pride U vs. NYU thing??

"Oh my god, so? I mean would I like to have a leg up before hand, absolutely, but I'm not about to make the most important decision on my life based on how easy something is! Sometimes, and I know you might find this shocking, but hard things, things that take a lot of work, are worth it!"

Phineas Flynn

Phineas made a face. That comment hit him, maybe more than it should have. “Dude, are you joking? I work so hard. Do you think this business would’ve got anywhere if I didn’t, like, grind?” Phineas threw his hands up in frustration. “Just because you’re all Type A doesn’t mean you’re better than me. I just like to do stuff my own way. And I don’t wanna, like, leave all my friends and family just to go to college in a city where I don’t know anyone. So, like, judge me, I guess!”

Pip Seville

"Oh my god, I don't want to leave my friends or family either, it's not my fault my friends and family live across the freaking ocean! But sometimes you also have to take risks and be true to your dreams and mine are in New York City!" said Pip hotly.

Suddenly he felt like he was arguing with Amy. Out of nowhere. Which was weird, because Phineas-- seriously, why did he care??

"Why do you care?" Pip finally actually asked, flinging a hand out. "No seriously, why are you always on my arse about this?"

Phineas Flynn

Why did Phineas care?

He should have been relieved Pip wanted to move across the ocean and that Phineas would never have to do another stupid group project with him again. But a part of Phineas still kind of thought Pip would stay in Swynlake. It was just... well, SSIC had been Phineas’s first big project. And Pip had been Phineas’s partner in that. And how did you go through a kind of intense experience with someone like that and just never see them again in your life?

Because Phineas was sure about that. Once Pip went off to NYU, he was never coming back, and Phineas was never going to see him again.

“I— honestly, Pip, I don’t know! ‘Cause you’re really pissing me off right now!” Phineas retorted. “You’re always, like, jumping to conclusions about me! And I really don’t appreciate it!” Especially because, a lot of the time, Pip was right. That was the worst part.

Because somehow, Phineas did care.

Pip Seville

"I have literally never jumped to conclusions about you a day in my life. I draw conclusions based on evidence and observation and experience!" Pip snapped. "Though I don't even know what you could be talking about because all I said the past five minutes was basically that I thought you were going to find the connections you wanted at Pride U. Oh, and I complimented your girlfriend, you're welcome by the way!"

Phineas Flynn

“She’s not my friggin’ girlfriend! We’re chilling!” Phineas gestured wildly, spilling his White Claw in the process. He barely noticed. He was all riled up now. Happy Leo season. “Not the point! Stop appropriating the scientific method to act like you’re being the rational one here!” @SWOOPING EVIL laur

Pip Seville

"I always am the rational one!" exclaimed Pip to that. "What are you talking about? Where have you been the past year when I've been the one turning your insane whims into actual executable decisions? That's why you freaking like me, because I'm so "rational!"" Pip said with overexaggerated quote marks (sloshing his drink too). @emma

Phineas Flynn

“There you go again!” Phineas laughed harshly, stepping back and flinging his arms wide. “You think you know everything! What are you, a friggin’ mind reader?”

He was about to contradict Pip, but the claim made him wonder: why did Phineas like Pip? Because he did like him. And he did want to stay friends. And they barely had anything in common, it was true, and Phineas did find it extremely annoying that Pip always had a smug counter argument to all of Phineas’s crazy ideas. And yet it bothered him that Pip wanted to move to New York.

“That’s— I mean, sure I guess you’re good at that, but it’s also really friggin’ annoying! You think you know everything about me, but you don’t!”

Pip Seville

Pip made an amazed face, lifting his hand again like what the fuck are you even talking about? Because Pip, genuinely, did not know what Phineas was talking about. Hadn't Phineas said they made a good team because of what Pip just described? Yes, he said it with lots of silly buzzwords about like, people's working styles and MBTI or ... whatever, Pip didn't care. But he said it! How was Pip mind reading anything, and oh, if he WAS, didn't that imply that Phineas was mad at him for obviously being right?!

Basically this conversation didn't make any sense. "What are you even talking about? What are we even arguing about right now? That I'm right, and you're mad about it? That I want to go to NYU, and you're mad about it? Literally I am grasping for straws, so puh-lease enlighten me!"

Phineas Flynn

“I don’t know!” Phineas shouted, and then thought about it, and then realized 1. that he was shouting and 2. that he really didn’t know.

He looked around. Some random girl was giving him a weird look. Phineas put his hands up in a “surrender” gesture.

“It’s chill, dude. It’s chill,” Phineas said, his face tomato-red. “Let’s just... whatever. You gotta live your truth. I gotta live mine. It’s chill.”

Phineas didn’t even know what he was saying at this point. He was still vaguely pissed, but mostly, he was tired. And a little embarrassed. Why did he always start drama like this?

“I’m gonna take a walk.”

Pip Seville

This was the weirdest fight they'd ever had. For lots of reasons. The obvious first one was that Pip could not track its beginning. Normally when they fought, it was over a detail about something, or sometimes Phineas took one of Pip's jokes the wrong way, or sometimes Pip got annoyed when Phineas joked (they never seemed to be on the same page when it came to the right time to joke). But whatever this was, it was invisible, and sticky, and full of knots. The kind of thing that built up over time.

The second weird part of it was that it lingered in the air. Normally they both could shrug off a fight or break it by changing the subject, refocusing, putting their attention to someone else around them. Phineas tried to do that. But the air hung and Phineas's face was red.

Pip wondered for the first time if maybe Phineas was drunker than Pip realized.

That thought made his stomach drop. It also made him freeze there, for one more second than usual. Enough time for Phineas to peel off and Pip to like...not say anything. Also weird.

"Okay, whatever," said Pip though Phineas was already walking away. But yeah. Okay, whatever. It was whatever. Pip shook his head and peeled off himself, looking for Tad or Josh or-- literally anyone else. Whatever whatever whatever.

[swifteforeverandalways]

Cross Brand Mixed Match Challenge Round One: Austin Dos Veces vs. Irresistible Prestige

First match of Round One for the cross Brand MMC! Austin Dos Veces (Austin Theory/Austin Flynn) vs. Irresistible Prestige (Raul Mendoza/Nia Jax). I know it’s a short match, but I figure this is what would happen.

@riottbliss @thirst-n-bullshit

Austin Flynn ran a hand through her hair, sighing softly. The first match for the Cross Brand Mixed Match Challenge was coming up, her and Austin Theory versus the team of Raul Mendoza and Nia Jax.

“Don’t worry,” Austin Theory said as he walked up, “I won’t hurt your boy.”

“Funny, that actually wasn’t what I was worried about,” Austin F said dryly. Austin T’s expression softened slightly. He knew what it was that his little big sister figure was worried about. It was well known through all brand’s rosters that Nia Jax wasn’t the safest worker.

“Don’t worry, neither I nor Raul will let you get hurt by her,” Austin T said.

“Thanks dude, you might be a pain in the ass but you’re still a pretty good guy,” Austin F said with a grin. Austin T laughed as the two headed to the gorilla. Nia Jax and Raul Mendoza were already there.

“You two ready to get your asses kicked?” Austin T teased.

“Creo que serás tú quien perdero (I believe it will be who you will lose),” Raul replied, Austin F smiling slightly at the Spanish he used.

“Whatever he said, we’ll win,” Nia added. Austin F turned the smile onto her, turning it into more of a bitchy grin.

“We’ll see about that,” she said. Both teams turned to the opening of the gorilla as the ring announcer spoke.

“The following is a first round match in the Cross Brand Mixed Match Challenge. The rules are as follow: the teams will be one male and one female. The men will only face the men and the women will only face the women. Tags can be made, and upon a tag both teams will bring in the gender tagged in. Introducing first, the team of Austin Theory from Raw and Austin Flynn from NXT…Austin Dos Veces!” The ring announcer said. The music hit, a mix of both Austin Theory and Austin Flynn’s themes as the two entered, walking down the ramp. The crowd began cheering as the two made their way into the ring, grinning.

“And their opponents: the team of Raul Mendoza from NXT and the Irresistible Force Nia Jax…The Irresistible Prestige!” The ring announcer said. Again, the music hit and was a mix of both wrestler’s themes. The two made their way down the ramp and into the ring.

“Now this is going to be an interesting match, as Flynn and Mendoza are in a relationship,” Tom Phillips said from commentary.

“I agree, I wonder how their relationship will be affected by this,” Mauro Ranallo added.

“I don’t think so, guys. I spoke to both Flynn and Mendoza and they both assured me that their relationship will not be impacted by this match. They both understand that this match will have their teams facing each other, and they won’t be upset about whichever one wins or loses,” Beth Phoenix disagreed.

“Regardless, this is sure to be an interesting match,” Byron Saxton said. Back in the ring, the two teams stared down at each other.

“You or me, you want in or me?” Austin T said to Austin F.

“I’ll start, this isn’t my first rodeo,” she replied, grinning slightly at the inside joke to herself. Her words were true, in both a literal and figurative way.

“Alright, just be safe, okay?” Austin T said softly. Austin F nodded as Austin T stepped out of the ring. Raul glanced over at them, his expression concerned as he also stepped out of the ring and onto the apron. Austin F and Nia faced down each other, both ready to fight. The referee signaled to the timekeeper’s area and the bell rang. Austin F ducked a punch from Nia and ran to the opposite ropes, bounding off of them and hitting Nia with a step-up enziguri. Nia stumbled back and Austin took that chance to kick Nia in the leg, bringing the much bigger woman down to one knee.

“It looks like Flynn has brought Jax down to one knee, is this match going to be a quick one?” Mauro said.

“Looks like Flynn is going high,” Beth added as Austin F climbed to the top turnbuckle. Austin F turned backwards, going to jump off when Nia caught her and threw her into the ground.

“You really think you can beat me?” Nia laughed, “That’s not happening, kid.” Austin F winced and rubbed the back of her head, it had been a hard landing on her head. Nia grabbed her, lifting her up. Austin F slammed her elbow down, catching Nia in the face. Landing on her feet Austin F looked over to her corner. Austin T met her eyes, nodding. Austin F turned back to Nia, hitting her in the leg a few more times before starting towards her corner, lunging and making a tag.

“Tag was made! Now we get to see Austin Theory face down Raul Mendoza!” Byron exclaimed as Raul jumped into the ring, Austin T doing the same. The two faced down each other before rushing at each other. They began attacking each other, hitting their attacks hard. On the ring aprons, Austin F and Nia watched worriedly.

“Is mi amor alright, her landing looked pretty hard,” Raul said quietly to Austin T as they fought.

“Not sure,” Austin T said, “But I think this tag was a way to have her have a bit of a break. Nia has a history of concussions.”

“I know,” Raul said softly, “I don’t want mi amor to be hurt by her.”

“Protective boyfriend over here,” Austin T teased gently. Raul smiled slightly, “Fiancé, remember?” Austin T grinned as he was hit by a clothesline from Raul. Austin T rolled to his feet before hitting Raul with a drop kick, knocking the Mexican cruiserweight to his corner. Raul slowly stood as Nia made a tag back in.

“Tag!” The ref shouted. Austin T and Raul shared a look as Nia made her way back in. Austin T headed to his corner, ducking out.

“Be careful out there, alright?” He said softly to Austin F.

“I know,” she replied, ducking into the ring. Austin F and Nia stared each other down. While Nia had the height, weight, and strength advantage, Austin F had the speed and agility advantage. Austin F used her speed and agility to her advantage, jumping off the ropes and slipping out of the ring to dodge Nia’s attacks. In frustration, Nia knocked Austin T off the ring.

“Bitch,” Austin T muttered under his breath as Austin F turned her head to check on her partner. In her distraction, Nia hit Austin F’s right arm. Her elbow bent at a weird angle, looking as if it was broken. Austi F screamed in pain as the ref checked on her.

“Did Nia Jax just break Austin Flynn’s arm?” Beth said. Austin T looked up, expression horrified. Unseen by anyone, Raul wasn’t looking upset or anything, instead he was silently smirking. As Nia approached, looking as if she was about to apologize, Austin F popped her arm back into place and punched Nia with a hard right hook. Austin T let out a sigh of relief as Nia stumbled back. Austin F climbed onto the top turnbuckle again, jumping off of it. Nia caught her, though, and approached the side of the ring facing the ramp. Raul exchanged a look with Austin T before hopping down off the apron and going to ‘attack’ Austin T. The two brawled towards the entrance ramp as Nia reached it. Not noticing the two men, Nia threw Austin F over the ropes. Raul and Austin T caught her, the three landing in a heap.

“What the hell was that arm thing?” Austin T hissed as they laid on the ground.

“Double jointed elbow, comes in handy at times,” Austin F replied as Nia came down off the apron.

“Why did you catch her? You could’ve just let her hit the ground!” Nia yelled at Raul.

“No, I wouldn’t do that to mi amor, never,” Raul said. Nia’s expression turned angry and hit Raul with a low blow. Despite having a protective cup in, Raul still winced in pain and fell to his knees.

“You bitch,” Austin F ran at Nia, parkouring off the barricade and locking Nia into a dragon sleeper. Nia twisted and turned as Austin F tried to completely lock it in. Nia fell to one knee, struggling to stand as the ref began the ten count.

“One!” The ref shouted. Nia turned, backing Austin F into the steel steps. Austin F let go tumbling off Nia and landing hard in the ground.

“Two!” The ref shouted. Nia grabbed Austin F and threw her into the steps.

“And Flynn lands face first into the steel steps!” Mauro Ranallo shouted.

“That’s going to hurt in the morning,” Beth added. Austin F stood and shook her head, running at Nia and hitting her with a clothesline, knocking her back into the ring apron. Using Austin T’s hands as leverage, Austin F kicked Nia in the chest and back into the ring. Climbing into the ring, Austin F used the ropes to build up speed before sliding and hitting Nia in the knee. Nia fell to one knee and Austin F quickly stood, kicking her in the back to knock her down.

“You don’t ever hit mi tesoro like that, never,” she said, climbing onto the top turnbuckle. Nia looked to her corner, looking to see if she could make a tag. But Raul wasn’t there, he was still out of the ring, Austin T with him. Austin F hit Nia with a moonsault senton before climbing to the top turnbuckle and doing it a second time, securing the pin. Austin F rolled out of the ring as Nia took a swing at her.

“We did it!” Austin T swept her into a hug, holding her tightly.

“Hell yeah we did! The two of us, we’re badass!” Austin F said as Austin T set her down and the two went to Raul.

“Are you okay, mi tesoro?” Austin F asked, kneeling by her fiancé. Raul winced but nodded, reaching up to touch the cut on Austin F’s head.

“You’re bleeding, mi amor,” he said softly. Austin F reached up, wincing upon probing the cut.

“We need to get you to the trainer's area, both of you,” Austin T said as they headed backstage. Backstage, Austin T grabbed a towel from a producer and handed it to Austin F, who pressed it to the cut on her head to help staunch the blood.

“Austin, Austin, Raul, that match was a fierce one, are you all okay from it?” Charly Caruso walked up to the three.

“Aside from this cut, I’m fine. I’m going to kill Nia for low blowing mi tesoro though,” Austin F said darkly.

“Hey! Why the hell didn’t you tag in?” Nia stormed up to the three.

“You hit me for protecting mi amor, you turned on me first,” Raul said, his tone somewhat cold. Nia glared at him, moving forward when Austin F stepped up.

“Nia, walk away. Now. You can walk away and nothing bad will happen, so walk. Away,” she said dangerously. Nia scoffed but walked away.

“Sorry, but I think this interview is done,” Austin T said, ushering the other two towards the trainer’s room. In the trainer’s room, Raul and Austin F were checked out to make sure they were okay. After a quick disinfecting, a few butterfly bandages were applied to the cut on Austin F’s forehead while Raul was given a clean bill of health, though advised to keep an eye out in case there was any damage.

[modernlifehistorian]

Timeless “Mrs. Sherlock Holmes” Reaction

Where are the words? To describe this episode? I don’t know if I have them yet, but I’ll try my hardest.

I don’t usually write a reaction so fast, but this episode has me drowning in feels.

The Minor Story Points:

Okay all I’ll say about this opening scene is Hollywoodland morning vs. this scene. No comparison. I won’t waste my time trying to explain this away for people who want to see it for what it isn’t. 

As far as the scene with Flynn and Wyatt in the bathroom. I applaud Flynn for trying to prod Wyatt’s jealousy while also calling him out. Wyatt needs to talk to Lucy. And what we see here from Wyatt isn’t just a jealous rage like some people make it out to be. I’ve posted about it before and I’ll say it again. To Wyatt the soldier, Flynn is a terrorist. Just as bad as the men he fought in Syria. He has every right to be concerned. He can’t tell Lucy or Flynn what to do, but I’d be shocked if Wyatt didn’t react in this way. Not everyone’s heart is as big as Lucy’s, not so quick to forgive. And that’s okay.

“Sir control your wife”

I swear I head the squealing from g*rcy fans from my bedroom, but chill, k? Flynn was the closest to Lucy in that moment. It was also 1919. And Lucy didn’t look overly pleased with the accusation. 

“Sorry, I don’t take romantic disputes.” 

Just... everything about this scene. This is the catalyst Lucy and Wyatt need to have a real discussion, and discuss they do.

“What she needs to do is stop making speeches.”

I will never get over Timeless’ history aspects. It would be crowd pleasing if all the women were all gungho about suffrage, but that just wasn’t the reality. This is real history. It’s not as cut and dry as we want it to be.

“The time is now!”

But what was even more beautiful is the way they displayed the change of heart for her. It wasn’t just through words. It was through getting down in the trenches with the rest of the women, seeing first hand what all of this was really about.

Characters and Relationships: 

Connor “The Most Honorable Battle is the Losing One” Mason

Honestly, that’s all I really have to say about that. It was a beautiful line. Keep at it, Mason.

Rufus “I’m Not Gonna Die Today” Carlin

Okay but this was hilarious. Way to see the positive out of the visions. I don’t have any real deep thoughts on this. 

Rufus and Flynn Tag Teaming

This was a great move by the writers. They’re partnership was effective and hilarious. I hope to see it again. 

Riya

I was very worried about them at the beginning, thinking we were going to have another whole episode of Rufus being super pissy about the visions and Jiya getting the blunt end of everything. And the first scene proved me almost right. It was Rufus at his max level of dickery, and I was about to be furious.

But THEN COMES THAT BEAUTIFUL END SCENE.

It is exactly what needed to happen. Up until now Rufus has only been avoiding avoiding avoiding the problem, and that’s where tension builds in a relationship, but here he comes clean, says what he’s feeling, and that’s where relationships find healing. Now they’re going to move forward, face the future together instead of against each other. I’m pretty damn pleased with that.

Emma

I knew there had to be more to this woman than met the eye, and I was right. The story she gave was one that everyone feels sympathy towards, no matter who was the victim or what they’ve done. I’m also pleased in general that this female villain is so much more than just a gun in tight clothes like female villains can tend to be. Her brain is what makes her valuable and up until the end of this episode she hasn’t been kept around as a sex toy or anything like that. She is a self-made villain rather than being the side show of a male villain. 

Although all of this made me call into question her devotion to Rittenhouse for three reasons:

1) Rittenhouse sought her out. They came to find her from Cal Tech. She had aspirations before this, so since her loyalty to Rittenhouse isn’t blood deep, that leaves so room for personal doubt about why she joined them in the first place. And I think 1919 is going to be the beginning of a chain reaction for her losing loyalty to Nicholas and Rittenhouse.

2) They left her in the 1800s as a means of proving loyalty. Did that mean she had done things in the past to call her loyalty into question? Or just because she wasn’t pureblood? Either way I think that might build some resentment. 

3) She’s beginning to see what Rittenhouse is really about, and she’s not sure if she wants to be a full part of it. 

Flemma

Okay first off, I love this ship name. Second, I always thought the idea of Flemma was just a crazy idea that I had fleeting thoughts about in season 1, BUT HOLY CRAP IF TONIGHTS EPISODE DIDN’T REIGNITE THAT FLAME.

“This gets you all hot and bothered doesn’t it?”

“Did I hurt your psycho feelings when I double crossed you?”

There are exactly 19082340923 things that Emma could have said in this scene to get under Flynn’s skin, but these are the two she chose. They’re pretty personal. And very full of implications. I’m getting a sense some hanky panky went down in the Mothership with these two in it.

“Was any of it true?”

Flynn takes on a very passionate, emotional response to this scene with Emma. To me it didn’t seem rooted in anger, but instead rooted in hurt. The way one feels when they get betrayed by someone they cared for. And I get the sense that Flynn cared for Emma at least a little bit. 

Jessica F*cking Logan

She’s been walking a tightrope with me since her very first scene. A very thin tightrope. In Salem she was a bitch to Wyatt. In JFK she was a fun addition kind of. In Delta Blues she was exactly where she needed to be nonexistent. And here in Sherlock Holmes she just fell off the tight rope. This chick had the discussion with Lucy during JFK, she knows that there was a thing with Lucy and Wyatt, but she makes damn sure to make out with him RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY BABY GIRL. Uh uh. Nope. She’s up to no good. And at first I thought she might just be being petty but NOPE. She’s somehow connected to Rittenhouse and is intentionally trying to drive a wedge between Lucy and Wyatt. I’m not having that. This Yoko needs to make like a tree and leaf.

This is all for my first post.... to be continued with a Lucy, Wyatt, and Lyatt post in a couple minutes. Stay tuned.

thoughts? @chasethesun18 @enchanted-keys @timelessbae12 @dopemixtape @bestshipcaptainswan @chloeswans @wyatttoldme 

[thelosersclubwrites]

reputation by taylor swift as my characters & ships

i stole this from @thislvllaby, everyone should do this bc it’s rad.

ready for it? [brie + carl] some, some boys are trying too hard. he don’t try at all, though. younger than my exes, but he act like such a man. so, i see nothing better. i keep him forever, like a vendetta.

endgame [rydel + mason] big reputation, big reputation, ooh you and me we got big reputations ah, and you heard about me. ooh, i got some big enemies. big reputation, big reputation, ooh you and me would be a big conversation, ah. and i heard about you. you like the bad ones too.

i did something bad [the tangent dead!brie] i can feel the flames on my skin. crimson red paint on my lips. if a man talks shit, then i owe him nothing. i don’t regret it one bit, ‘cause he had it coming. they said i did something bad. then why’s it feel so good?

don’t blame me [declan + zach] for you i would cross the line. i would waste my time. i would lose my mind. they say she’s gone too far this time. don’t blame me. love made me crazy. if it doesn’t, you ain’t doing it right. lord, save me, my drug is my baby. i’ll be using for the rest of my life.

delicate [christina + dean] is it cool that i said all that? is it chill that you’re in my head? ‘cause i know that it’s delicate. is it cool that i said all that? is it too soon to do this yet? ‘cause i know that it’s delicate. 

look what you made me do [leighton vs. cj] the world moves on another day, another drama, drama. but not for me, not for me all i think about is karma. and then the world moves on, but one thing’s for sure. baby, i got mine...but you’ll all get yours.

so it goes [kendall + brennan] i’m yours to keep, and i’m yours to lose. you know i’m not a bad girl, but i do bad things with you. come here, dressed in black now. so, so, so it goes. scratches all down your back now. so, so, so it goes.

gorgeous [ellie + link] if you’ve got a girlfriend, i’m jealous of her...but if you’re single, that’s honestly worst. ‘cause you’re so gorgeous it actually hurts.

getaway car [declan + gavin] we were riding in a getaway car. there were sirens in the beat of your heart. should’ve known i’d be the first to leave. think about the place where you first met me.

king of my heart [brie + bryce] and we rule the kingdom inside my room, ‘cause all the boys and their expensive cars. with their range rovers and their jaguars never took me quite where you do. all at once, you are the one i’ve been waiting for. king of my heart, body and soul.

dancing with our hands tied [lacey + finn] you said there was nothing in the world that could stop it. i had a bad feeling. and darling, you turned my bed into a sacred oasis. people started talking, putting us through our paces. i knew there was no one in the world who could take it. i had a bad feeling.

dress [brie + dustin // eli + camren] say my name and everything just stops. i don’t want you like a best friend. only bought this dress so you could take it off.

this is why we can’t have nice things [brie + maya] friends don’t try to trick you. get you on the phone and mind-twist you. and so i took an axe to a mended fence, but i’m not the only friend you’ve lost lately. hm, hm, if only you weren’t so shady. this is why we can’t have nice things, darling.

 call it what you want [gavin + chloe] i want to wear his initial on a chain round my neck, chain round my neck. not because he owns me, but ‘cause he really knows me. which is more than they can say. i recall late november, holding my breath. slowly, i said, ‘you don’t need to save me, but would you run away with me?’.

new years day [tanner + flynn] i’ll be there if you’re the toast of the town, babe or if you strike out and you’re crawling home. don’t read the last page, but i stay when it’s hard or it’s wrong or you’re making mistakes. i want your midnights, but i’ll be cleaning up bottles with you on new year’s day.

@hurtpeoplearelethal​ @deejaysindie @brokenmvses @smoakinkdanvers

[podcastcoach]

How Does Your Podcast Compete Against Giant Show?

Table of Contents

01:29 How Do You Compete Against Large Networks?

06:44 25 People Vs 1

09:42 Two Things That Kill Podcasts

11:52 Buying an Audience

15:32 Life Without the School of Podcasting

17:01 So How Do You Compete?

19:24 Jet Ski vs Cruise Ship

21:53 Downloads are only ONE way of measuring Success

24:28 Free Webinar 2/26

25:01 Golden Mic Announcement

34:23 Where I Will Be

34:45 Question of the Month

I hear this question a lot:

How am I supposed to compete?  It'll be something like I've been podcasting for three years. There are these other podcasters who I'm pretty sure are buying their audience. They're spouting their numbers, and they're gigantic. How am I supposed to compete with somebody like that?

I totally understand that question. Here are some things to consider:

You Can't Compete

Because its a good visual. How would a seventeen-year-old boxer compete against the champion who has held the title for six years? You don't put that kid in the ring. He's going to get killed. The experience, the stamina, he just isn't ready. He is completely out of his league.

But I've Been Podcasting For Three Years

But Dave, I've been podcasting for three years. You say that in some cases, you know people who are really starting to make a difference with their podcast at three years mark. To this I say"Uh-huh," but here are some things that we need to think about. We never know what's going on behind the scenes with a podcast. You might have a job (or two) and a spouse and some kids. The other podcast may not have any of those. Can you imagine how much free time you would have to promote if you didn't have any other activities and could focus on your podcast 100% of the time?

So if you look at podcasters from the outside, there's a person with a podcast here, and another podcaster over there and you think they are the same and they are not. We have no idea what is going on behind the scenes. They might have a background in selling and your background is in teaching.

Radiolab thanked 25 people at the end of their show. I am an army of one. Can I compete? In 2015ish I was up for a Podcast Movement Podcast Award and one of the shows in my category was Reply All.  I was competing against them. I've also had my Logical Weight Loss podcast compete against Jillian Michaels. Can we compete? Yes. The minute you turn on the microphone you are competing. Some of the things these teams of 25 use you don't need (original music?). While great production is like icing on a cupcake, if its all icing (and no cupcake) that doesn't work (see serial season two).

The Two Things That Kill a Podcast

BABIES

Babies are so selfish. It's all about them. All they scream is feed me, wipe my butt, I want a nap. That can really get on your nerves (kidding).

COMPARTING YOUR PODCAST TO OTHERS

When you say "how do I compete" at the hear you are comparing your show to others, and that can seriously do nasty things to your content. If you ever feel yourself comparing yourself - STOP.

STOP COMPARING YOUR SHOW TO OTHERS.

You need three things to create good content:

Your attitude

Your health

The support of those around you

(see this episode for a deep dive into this subject).

There is no competition

I am a co-host on the Podcasters Roundtable with Daniel J. Lewis and Ray Ortega. Technically both of these people are my "competition" but they are not. Why? Because you can listen to me on Monday,  Daniel on Tuesday, and Ray on Wednesday. As long as you deliver value, you're safe and don't have to worry.

You Can't Buy An Audience

You can buy an opportunity for people to hear your show, but you can't pay them to listen. Your podcast needs to provide value so they will come back because they want more.

Holly Barey is beautiful. In 2004 they put her in a Catwoman suit, spent a million dollars to my $82 million (a loss of 18 million). On Rotten Tomatoes the movie has a ranking of 9 out of 100 with 197 people voting.

In 2009 Disney worked on a movie called John Carter based on a popular book. According to Wikipedia is the most expensive movie ever created. It was a super popular book. It's kind of a sci-fi fantasy thing. It had a young, hot actor from Friday Night Lights, which was a very popular TV show here in the States.  Yeah, they lost $200 million on that movie

You cannot buy an audience.

And upon the release,  it received a mixed critical reception. In other words, it wasn't any good. There are great visuals. It had a great soundtrack. It had great action sequences. But the biggest criticism was toward the characterization and this thing called the plot that movies have, and you kind of need a good plot, you need a story.

It's the content. It's delivering value. And apparently, this movie did not deliver value because it lost them $200 million.

And I remember seeing all the ads for this movie, that all the promotion.

Before You Start Spending Money to Grow Your Podcast

I see a lot of people who say, "I'm not getting enough downloads and they turned to Facebook ads or advertising an overcast or Spotify or Castro (all podcast listening apps). They are trying to get the word out about their show. You can buy eyeballs/earholes but you can't buy an audience because an audience is someone who comes back for more.

Do What Your Big Networks Can't

Answer every email (in my travels big shows don't do this)

Get your audience on the phone. In the book Superfans (and in the Colin Morgan Interview on Podcast Juinkes) Pat Flynn and Colin Morgan talk about reaching out to random members of their audience via the phone (you can get a free Google Voice number, or Podcast Voicemail to mask your real phone number). How do you provide great content? You know who your audience is. How do you know what they want? You talk to them.

You are a Jetski, they are a cruise ship. You can change your content in record time. They can't. You are much more flexible. They are not. You need to identify your weaknesses and your strengths. You also need to identify your "competition's" strengths and weaknesses and don't try to cover the same area whey they will unquestionably squash you.

Go to where they are. In some cases, if a show is so big they can't go out in public. You can, and while you're there you can get feedback on how to make your show better.

Be sure to poll your audience. This can be as simple as "what do you like about the show, what do you wish I would do differently?" If you want to ask, "How did you learn about the podcast" so you can do more of that.

There is More Than One Way To Measure Success

Keep in mind there are more ways to measure success than downloads. These includes:

Is your show successful (are you achieving your "why?"

Comments on your website

Email responses

Social marketing interactions

Business metrics (new customers)

The Right Podcast Equipment Webinar

On February 26th there is a free online webinar at www.schoolofpodcasting.com/webinar where we will go over podcast equipment and the best option for you. If buying the right equipment has been a hurdle for you this will help you get over the hurdle. See www.schoolofpodcasting.com/webinar

Life Without the School of Podcasting

Today I helped someone who randomly contacted me on Facebook. They hadn't purchased enough storage space for their show. They were exporting their files in the wrong format. They didn't know how to export in the proper format. They were using the wrong format for artwork. Podcasting can be fun and fulfilling when you don't have to band your head against a wall to release a simple episode. At the School of Podcasting,   we show you in videos how to export your show in the proper format. We show you how to order the right plan for your podcast so your media host matches your strategy. We help you podcast frustrating free. Join today at www.schoolofpodcasting.com/start

The New Academy of Podcasting

Let's start off with the positive. Wondery, a company with 82 employees and revenues (according to growjo.com) of around 15 million per year organized a new "Academy of Podcasters" and will launch a Golden Mic awards in 2021. Per their website, "The Academy is professionally run by an Executive Director and an Account Manager.  These roles are overseen by a volunteer Board of Governors who set the strategic vision and goals of the organization. 17 Founding Members will establish the organization and guide its initial creation with a goal of 1) moving The Golden Mics into a key recognition position and 2) encouraging growth and networking of the Academy and the industry. Members are individuals in the podcast industry who are part of one of the Academy’s Peer Groups; each Peer Group will vote on its respective categories for The Golden Mics." 

So it's great that big companies with big budgets are going to be promoting podcasting. This is a good thing.

Someone Needs to Learn How to Google

The companies listed above need to learn how to do some Google searches. When you come in with a "We've arrived" mentality, you can easily offend those who have already been here working in the trenches. I mean who do you think you are the pilgrims?

The larger media companies keep saying things that seem to just ignore history. For example, an article that came out THIS WEEK stated that " Born in the halls of public radio, podcasting has emerged as one of the fastest-growing businesses in media over the past few years." Podcasting was NOT born in the halls of public radio. It was born in a hotel room where Dave Winer and Adam Curry met. In the past, I've just let them roll off m back, but I remember someone from one of these companies who stated there weren't any women podcasters in the early years (completely erasing people like Mignon Fogerty and Murr Raferty. Who can forget Steve Jobs referring to podcasting as "Amateur Hour."

So when I approached Hernan Lopez the founder and CEO of Wondery that there HAS BEEN a  “completely peer-based, not for profit, fully representative" awards show and I had won such an award he apologized.

I'm Not Saying Get Off My Lawn

Lopez was at an educational conference stating a lack of education. I'm not saying get off my lawn. I'm saying Marc Maron didn't invent podcasting (nor did Serial) and if you want me to greet you with open arms, it would be much easier if you would stop kicking me in the balls.

To the best of my knowledge, the Adamy of podcasters which controls the Hall of Fame is still in existence. It hasn't had a ceremony since 2018 due to a lack of sponsorship. This is sad. While some may feel this is just a bunch of friends slapping each other on the back, if you do some research that it's not just old white guys but women and people of color (granted the majority of the recipients is middle-aged white guys because when podcasting first started THOSE WERE THE PEOPLE WHO WERE PODCASTING.

So I look forward to seeing the spotlight the new academy will point at podcasting, and just ask them to quite saying things that make use feel invisible or worse, erase the past.

Speaking of the past, here is a link to the Academy of Podcasters Hall of Fame

New Podcasters Academy

Question of the Month

How did you get past the "Nobody will listen to me?" see www.schoolofpodcasting.com/question

Start Your Podcast Today

Go to www.schoolofpodcasting.com/start and start your podcast worry-free with our 30-day money-back guarantee 

  Check out this episode!