#wAHOO FINALLY A GOOD OMENS CONTENT

[rysttle]

Woop a bit late for the event but here!!

[lady-divine-writes]

Good Omens one-shot - “Crowley’s Cheeky Christmas Holiday” (Rated NC17)

Summary: Aziraphale is not too thrilled with the plans Crowley has made for their first real holiday. But after a little interactive explanation, Aziraphale is more than onboard. (1346 words)

Warning for fluffy, naked canoodling and then wam! Sexual content xD

Read on AO3.

"Ho-ho-ho!" Crowley chuckles, practically skipping his way through the master bedroom.

"Hmm. Someone seems awfully proud of themselves," Aziraphale notes dryly.

“I am, angel. I am."

"Please. Elaborate. Don't keep me in suspense."

"All right. I just confirmed our flight for tomorrow,” Crowley announces, slipping off his robe to join his husband reading in bed. “Flight 344, leaving promptly at noon.” He claps his hands, beyond thrilled that they’re finally going on their first official holiday as husbands (aside from their honeymoon, which, to Crowley, belongs in a separate category). “So, tell me, angel - are you excited to see Verwöhnhotel Kristall?”

“I suppose,” Aziraphale says, followed by a long, drawn-out sigh as he turns to the next page, less than enthused.

“You suppose?” Crowley cocks a thin brow at him. “Oh, don’t tell me you’ve changed your mind? You just want to stay at home with your books and read? We decided that we would travel now that we’re both gainfully unemployed! We made that decision together!” 

“It’s not that, my dear,” Aziraphale assures him with eyes still firmly planted on his book. “It’s just that I’ve been to Austria.”

“We’ve been to everywhere, angel. There’s no avoiding going somewhere again.”

“Austria is a hop, skip, and a jump from here. Spending our Christmas holiday there …" Another sigh "... we might as well find a hotel down the road and book a room.”

Crowley stares at Aziraphale, lost for a response. But then he snickers madly. Aziraphale finally lifts his eyes from his page.

“What? What did I say that’s so funny?”

“Nothing.” Crowley waves his laughter away. “You're being such a snob about this. I adore it.”

Aziraphale gasps. “I am not! I simply thought that if we are going on a holiday over Christmas, a traditionally cold and bleary time, that we could perhaps visit somewhere warm and sunny.”

“I’m sure the sun is going to make an appearance while we’re in Austria. The damned thing isn’t going anywhere ... yet.”

Aziraphale rolls his eyes at how thoroughly his husband missed the point. “It’s still going to be cold. Tremendously cold.”

“You have a coat and scarf. It’s going to be brilliant, Aziraphale!" Crowley declares in response to his husband's huff. "I have it all planned out. Could you please trust me?”

"Trust you? Since you haven’t divulged any of your plans, I maintain my right to judge.”

“I wanted it to be a surprise, but alrighty then. Have it your way.” Instead of sliding under the comforter with Aziraphale, Crowley pulls it off Aziraphale’s legs with a dramatic flourish. 

Aziraphale gapes at him. “What on Earth are you doing!?” 

“Since you’re so eager to judge, I’m going to go over our travel plans with you.”

“And you took off the covers why? To simulate the frigid temperatures?”

“Haha, no. I need you to lay flat on your stomach.”

The incredulity on Aziraphale's face grows to epic proportions. “Whatever for?”

“It’s sort of a presentation. You’ll understand once we get started.”

Aziraphale sets his book aside with a third, heavier sigh and complies. “Will you be requiring a wahoo afterward?”

“I might,” Crowley snaps, impatiently returning his husband’s snark with more snark. Because of that, Aziraphale takes his sweet time settling onto his stomach on the bed, dragging a pillow with him to rest his crossed arms upon, and then his chin.

“All right. I am in the proper position, I trust.”

“Yes, but you’re a wee bit overdressed.” Crowley raises a hand to Aziraphale’s view. “Do you mind?”

“Do you mean to undress me?”

“Yes.”

“Is this absolutely necessary?”

“Yes.”

“Fine. Go ahead.”

“Wonderful.” Crowley snaps his fingers, and immediately Aziraphale is naked. He shudders self-consciously at the removal of his clothes but focuses on his husband instead, admittedly curious. “Okay.” Crowley rubs his hands together, warming them up before he begins. “First, I am taking you ice skating …”

“What a visionary,” Aziraphale teases. “We live in London. There are skating rinks a mere bus ride away. Why do we have to travel to Austria to go ice skating when we---?” Aziraphale’s voice cuts out when he feels his husband’s fingertips play over his shoulders, sliding in unison, mimicking the movements of two people skating. “O-oh ...” Aziraphale shivers beneath Crowley’s gentle touch. “This is an interactive presentation.”

“A-ha.”

“I see. What else is on your itinerary?”

“Skiing.”

Aziraphale wiggles as Crowley’s fingers slide down the slope of his spine, slaloming from flank to flank before launching off the end of his tailbone.

“Mmm, yes, yes,” Aziraphale says. “I can see the appeal. Anything else?”

“Snowboarding.”

Aziraphale snorts. “Right---eee!” He squeals when one of Crowley’s phalange snowboarders glides over a particularly ticklish spot on his back. “Since when have you wanted to go snowboarding?”

“Not until recently. I figure, after everything we’ve been through over the past few centuries, now is the perfect time to try something new. What d'you think?”

“Have you not known me for 6000 years? I am not an angel made for snowboarding.”

“Why not?” Crowley pouts, sending his snowboarders up Aziraphale’s back for the return trip. “Don’t angels Segway around Heaven?”

“Not me. Not once.”

“Aren’t you in the mood for an adventure?”

“If by adventure you mean eat at a new experimental fusion restaurant, then yes. I am definitely in the mood. But trusting life and limb to a thin plank of wood whilst careening down an icy hill at a hundred miles per hour, then no. I am in no mood for adventure.”

“But you’ll go skiing?”

“Yes.”

“How is that different?”

“First off, I have been skiing before. Cross-country mainly.”

“Skis are technically thin planks of wood.”

“Yes, but they give you two - one for each foot. So, it’s much more like skating. Even more like walking if you’re traveling straight along.”

“I see your point.” Crowley stops one snowboarder on Aziraphale’s right shoulder while the other tumbles to the mattress like he’s falling from a cliff.

“Crowley! How could you?” Aziraphale cries in mock horror, staring at the pair of fingers he assumes represent him lying unconscious in the snow. “You didn’t even try to stop me!”

“I did, angel. I could only save one of us, so I made the ultimate sacrifice.”

“That’s very noble of you,” Aziraphale says with a solemn sniff. “What's next? I mean, after I fetch a strapping young gentleman to fish you out of the snow and I miracle your broken legs back together.”

“Funny. You’re very funny.” Crowley crawls down the bed, straddles Aziraphale’s legs. “After all that physical exertion, we’ll want to get some lunch.”

“Sounds logical.” Aziraphale closes his eyes when Crowley’s lips brush the knobs of his spine, laying a trail of kisses along the curve of his back. “Mmm … my vote is for crepes smothered in loganberries and fresh cream.”

“I thought you might,” Crowley murmurs.

“Did you have something specific in mind?”

“Dunno. Thought maybe we could grab some ice cream,” Crowley mumbles, massaging Aziraphale’s arse, kneading with firm hands, and admiring the view.

“Ice cream?” Aziraphale scoffs. “In winter? Why would you want to eat freezing cold ice cream surrounded by all that snow---oh! My … goodness!” He yelps when Crowley’s hands part his cheeks, and a silky hot tongue begins lapping at his hole. “Yes! Yes, I see! Ice cream! Ice cream does sound fabulous, come to think of it! We can eat as much ice cream as you want!”

“So …” Crowley pauses to talk, toying with Aziraphale’s entrance with swipes of his tongue and barely-there kisses between words “… how are you … feeling about … Austria now?”

“I …” Aziraphale’s breath catches when Crowley’s tongue interrupts him, slowly circling, weeding its way inside. “I think … this may turn out to be … the best holiday … ever!”

“Can I get a wahoo?” Crowley says, then nothing else as he fucks his husband with his tongue.

“Uh … uh …” Aziraphale swallows hard, melting into the chilly sheets beneath him. “Wahoo …”

[melibemusca]

Chapters: 11/11 Fandom: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Beelzebub/Satan | Lucifer (Good Omens), Gabriel/Michael (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Beelzebub (Good Omens), Crowley/Gabriel (Good Omens), Hastur/Ligur (Good Omens), Gabriel/Lucifer Characters: Gabriel (Good Omens), Beelzebub (Good Omens), Aziraphale (Good Omens), Michael (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens), Satan | Lucifer (Good Omens), Hagar (Abrahamic Religions), Yishma'el | Ishmael, Dagon (Good Omens), Hastur (Good Omens), Ligur (Good Omens), God (Good Omens), The Them (Good Omens) Additional Tags: Roleswap, Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, Demon!Gabriel is Iblis, Angel!Beelzebub is Kamael, aziraphale is still an angel, Crowley is still a demon, (not an aardvark), Angst and Humor, Bad Flirting, Past Relationship(s), Apples, Angel Beelzebub (Good Omens), Demon Gabriel (Good Omens), Ineffable Bureaucracy (Good Omens), Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Maggot Husbands (Good Omens), Paperwork, Implied Sexual Content, Biblical Scripture References (Abrahamic Religions), very brief mention of past rape, Caring Aziraphale (Good Omens), Snake Crowley (Good Omens), Metaphysical Sex, Lucifer needs to learn about consent, The Fall (Good Omens), War in Heaven (Good Omens), Nonbinary Beelzebub (Good Omens), They/Them Pronouns for Beelzebub (Good Omens), Eventual Happy Ending, The Arrangement (Good Omens), smiting, Worms, Smallpox, Pining, I mean the demons would tell you they're lusting but I think we all know what pining looks like, the arousing ordeal of watching angels eat, Blind Character, Crowley and Aziraphale argue about biology, it's one of my favorite tropes okay, Crepes, Innuendo, Poetry, 1970s, whoops I think the sexual content went beyond "implied", still not super graphic though, Lower Tadfield (Good Omens) Summary:

Archangel Kamael very nearly fell alongside Lucifer, and became the demon lord Beelzebub. But they didn’t, because that would have been stupid and weak.

Meanwhile, Archangel Gabriel fought for Heaven in the war, but refused to bow to the first humans. He fell for his pride, becoming the demon lord Iblis, and he’s not bitter at all about Satan’s obvious disappointment that he isn’t Kamael.

Now Aziraphale has a supervisor in Heaven who threatens him with outright violence, but admits there’s something to be said for consuming gross matter. And Crowley finally has a chance in Hell of getting a “Wahoo!” from his boss.

How will these four fools manage six thousand years of human history and the inevitable end times? Especially when they keep having all these inconvenient feelings?

[lonely-canadian-shrimp-universe]

Good Omens:A First Foray

The First Impressions of a Viewer with No Context

I knew a good chunk of the plot because at first I honestly wasn't going to watch it, so I didn't really shield myself from any spoilers on tumblr.

That being said, I was hooked right from episode 1. I went into it thinking I was gonna be all over Crowley (given my other favourite characters in most other franchises) but the first time Aziraphale smiled I M E L T E D. SO PURE AND SWEET Also when "Aziraphale" was said I had a moment of 'oh. that's how you say that' Also the earth and my mom share a birthday. When Nanny Ashtoreth showed up I KNEW I was gonna need more content of her. Wife 100%

The fact that, try as they may, Zira and Crowley are completely incompetent and really only matter in the last like 16 minutes before the end of the world is really great. It's like watching a show that's about the really interesting side characters you get to see for 2 minutes and WISH you got 6 hrs of. Thank you, Neil.

Ep 2 we get to meet Newt and Anathema and omg I love them. I need Anathemas wardrobe ugh. And newt??? disaster Newton Pulsifer??? he's a mood. Not totally sure how I feel about their relationship but I love the contrast of "hey we just met like an hour ago and we're dating now thnks" to "we've known each other for 6000 years but there's no way he likes me the same way? side note, isn't it funny how the world is always emitting a low buzz of love my dear?" "ngk"

Agnes is amazing and I love how sassy she is. 10/10. I love how Aziraphale is not at ALL concerned about being shoved against a wall by Crowley. Like not one bit. He's like "oh finally, it's only taken you 6 millenia" honestly same

Ep 3 gives us the 30 minute cold open who's only purpose is to show how these two kept coming back to each other for 6 millenia, no matter how the last meeting may have gone. Here are a few thoughts:

Crowley has very pretty hair. Also I could 100% see by this point how these two have been gay for each other since day 1. Er rather day 7? Golgotha Crowley is v pretty and learning later that those are traditionally female garments was a treat. That scene was otherwise hard to watch, and they definitely thought so as well. The globe theatre was really fun to watch, I love Shakespeare. Sadly, Hamlet reminds me of my awful 10th grade English teacher. she ADORES that play. So thanks,  Aziraphale.

Bastille= PEAK GAY LOOK

I'd seen the church scene and "you go too fast for for me in MANY a gift,  but hearing them was OOF. Michael Sheen didn't have to go so hard on that line but OH BOY DID HE EVER. I may have cried.

I honestly didn't realize that the intro didn't play until the middle of the episode until I rewatched it??  like that completely flew over my head.

THE BANDSTAND. THE E M O T I O N. AZIRAPHALE WAS SO HURT. he was so torn because so much of him still wanted to believe in the good of heaven, but his heart (or the angelic equivalent) had long ago sided with Crowley. When Crowley came back and asked him to run away to Alpha Centuri??? UGH. that dude instantly assuming they're gay? same. same random dude. same. And omg Crowley praying??? to God??? he cares about humanity and it SHOWS. By this point I was REALLY relating to Aziraphale. His reluctance to stray from what he knows and was told reminds me so much of myself. that A n x i e t y.

the end of episode 4 and into episode 5 HURT. the bookshop? "I lost my best friend"? The fact that Crowley was ready to give up and wallow drunkenly through the Apocalypse because continuing on or running away held no meaning if he didn't have Aziraphale by his side. I cried. On the other hand, defiant Aziraphale? "Angels can't posses people" "Demons can..." YES BBY STOP BLINDLY FOLLOWING ORDERS!!! FREE THOUGHT BABEY!!! Now: Shadwell and Tracy. Shadwell is hilarious and I love him, end of story. He's just so... out there. crazy dude. Madame Tracy on the other hand? AMAZING. her actress (I can't think of her name and I have a REALLY ONE TRACK MIND) absolutely KILLED it. AMAZING. The seance?  That dude who WAS JUST LOVING EVERY SECOND? Loved that so much. still cracks me up. When they first get to the airbase and Crowley compliments his dress and Aziraphales like OwO like fellas they gay.

1970s crowley... the mustache... "Can I hear a Wahoo?" Hastur... love him... "What's a computer" part of me wants to think he's just fucking with Crowley because who wouldn't but also he's so deadpan and yo I can't read expression AT ALL.

Love the fact that Crowley was ready to yeet off to a far off star system light-years away, but at the same times like "you expect me... to go to TADFIELD? In this weather??? Maybe I should drive but I mean, have you SEEN the TRAFFIC Angel? And now the M-25s on fire. Great."

Hastur going from on top of everything and tearing Crowley down to panicking because YOU'RE DRIVING TOWARDS A WALL OF FIRE.

snek eyes :3c

"Young man your CAR is on F I R E"

ALSO the horse people getting lost is peak entertainment. Honestly the horsepeople are great. War? Gorgeous. Famine? Love him. He's got style Pollution??? They're amazing, and also THEY THEM PRONOUNS BABEY. that made me v happy bc I just got used to usin em myself uwu. D E A T H. He knows his aesthetic yall. love it.

suppose nows a good a time as any: THE THEM.

I didn't really like Adam at first, he seemed a bit snobby. he's grown on me now but... ngk. Wenslydale was an instant fave. he's adorable. love him. Brian? total mess. super genuine. Great kid. PEPPER. she's great. she's sassy. she's gonna go far in life. all together, they're a tight knit group and I love them and they're all my children now thabks. and the parallels to the horsepeople? p e r f e c t

Alrighty Episode 6!!!

The beginning terrified me. All this time I was rooting for Zira and Crowley to finally get their happily ever after and yknow how most media is nowadays. There's a reason Fix-it Fics are so popular. So the beginning of the episode scared me. Also Beelzebub 💖

I love the Them vs The Horsepeople. "I believe in Peace, bitch."

I didn't even realize til later that that was Aziraphales sword. didn't even catch that line.

When Beez and Gabriel showed up? THAT DUMB SMILE OF GABES? I really hated Gabriel. The way he treated Aziraphale REALLY rubbed me the wrong way and I just did not like him one bit.

W I N G S. PRETTY WINGS. also didn't even realize that what Crowley did was STOP TIME. LIKE WHSOHDOEBE WHaT? ??

 "it burned down... remember?" uuggghhh kill me with how soft and gentle he's being!!! he knows that bookshop MEANT something to Zira hdoehekdn

T H E B O D Y  S W A P

the caught me COMPLETELY off guard... at first. I was completely unaware right up until "crowley" was attacked. I caught that little "Tickety boo" and I paused screaming like CROWLEY WOULD NOT SAY THAT IN THAT SCENARIO NO WAY THAT IS N O T ANTHONY J CROWLEY W H A T 

The heaven scene solidified my then hatred for Gabriel. I like him now but oof that scene he's still VERY punchable.

Crowley: Nearly threw hands with the Archangel Gabriel

The Hell trial. So Extra. Asking for a rubber duck? iconic! "Michael, dude!" oh mood.

when they switch back and it's all revealed? G l o r i o u s. They played each other so well!!! honestly props to Michael and David, their acting was PHENOMENAL.

The ending. A happy ending. The amount of love with which Zira says "to the world" killed me. I'm dead now thanks to that. I'm typing this from the grave,  that's how powerful that line is. Honestly, knowing next to nothing going in was kind of wild and my crazy reblogging spree actually got some of my mutuals to watch the show which is pretty neat. Going back through 3 more times now, Aziraphale definitely resonates with me the most. I actually have a small blurb I wrote on the positive effects he's had on my perception of myself in terms of stimming.

All in All this show hit me in a way I did NOT expect it to, and I'm glad I found it when I did. I was at a point where I was kinda feeling like I'd never really have a fulfilling relationship because of my asexuality, and then I found good omens. I def read the characters as ace while watching it and it was amazing seeing two characters who can love each other fully, without the need for anything explicit. The show was an instant fav and I'm trying to find a physical copy of the book (that I can afford) so I can read the original text. This is a story that's going to stay important to me for a very long time, I can feel it.