#wah wah the joker wants the batman to kill him so that means the joker is right

[vikingpoteto]

you mentioned it'd been awhile since you read that arc with babs talking about killing the joker (last laugh) and the max humor in the situation is that's in issue #3 and Dick is like where does it end Babs we can't kill. And then in issue #6 Dick thinks the Joker killed Tim and Dick beats the Joker to death. like idr Helena or somebody gives the Joker cpr as if somehow starting his heart will uncave in his diaphragm lmao

god, that's frustrating. See, I wouldn't mind that as a plot point if it was intentional or at least addressed. It makes sense that it's easy for Dick (or Bruce, or Tim, or anyone really) to say that they have to be better than that and then not follow through when emotions are high.

I don't mind suspending my disbelief and accepting characters surviving impossible situations if it meant a more interesting story, but the Joker surviving means that Dick doesn't have to examine his actions - and that WOULD make for an interesting arc since Dick is a really passionate and sometimes impulsive person.

I know comics are obsessed with keeping the status quo because changing it would mean they can't keep publishing the same character forever but the Joker went stale about 50 years ago and he brings nothing interesting to the story. The only reason he's alive is plot armor otherwise a random person with a gun would have killed him already. Hell, one of his goons would've, if not for being pushed too far, they would do it for self-defense.

[la-mariposita-de-palestina]

Rewatching Holy Musical B@man :)

When I first watched it I thought it was “nice.” lets see how i feel on time #2 :)

DYLAN SAUNDERS MARRY ME

The narration of bodily damage. Yes.

LAURENNNNN

DYLANS VOICE. JAHGVL.GJNVDF

I love this scene so much

Rat tat tat!

Dude, did Batman kill god? Is that how God died? Is this part of the Starkid Super Theory?

The Batman/Bruce Wayne joke is the best

Batman exposing America and exacting his revenge, what a guy

The Joker *dies* everyone.. *unfazed*

Gotham giving unconditional Bat love

CAPTAIN MARVEL

ohmygod Batman is like “no I don’t have the energy to be around my crush right now I’m brooding”

Brians bouncing, uh i mean flying, is adorable.

*lies to impress my crush* 

I wonders why theres so much crime in Gotham.*everybody and their grandmother has a gun* what a mystery.

Drama angsty angy boi Batman

Le gasp

“nay- the life that has chosen meeeeee”

*waddles across stage*

Why’d i pause it like this.

mamaandpapaaaa nomamaandppapapapaaa

The bats dance just for him

THEY JUST WANT A BUDDY

“The Fortress---of Solitude”

...I’d freak if I saw Dylan Saunders too

I just realized i never really appreciated Rogues are we for the MASTERPIECE it is.

Jaime you queen

Poor two face, its not his fault he has the stupidest theme ever.. actually it is.

Jeff Blim is a king.

He’s so excitedd.

“yea“ HE’S A SOFT ANGY BOI.

“tiny little guy“

HE IS DAZZZLING

Starkid likes staring friendships with speaking in unison.

He is a very articulate little one.

They’re bonding!!! yay.

Le gasp.

Wholesome

YOU GO ROBIN!

This musical was just an excuse for Starkid to write a bunch of puns.

I love this song.

*beats someone to death* *softly sings* OOooooohh

Is he actually making the Wah Wah sounds? cuz thats impressive

DANCE MY BOYS DANCE

OI THATS MY PRECIOUS BOI UR TALKING ABOUT!

whispers longingly “Krypto-”

DA PUNZ

I love Candy.

Where is all the candy coming from?!!?! is there an interdimensional portal in his pockets?!

That was a highly questionable decision. (Kwan Lee)

“I’m such a boob“ imma use that from now on.

*breaks everything around him* *pushed a box*

The poor water supply, it’s just chilling.

I love that he’s called Green Lantern Fanboy.

Superman just wants to get a phone call. Just once.

Every time they same America I gag. Yay.

The social commentary is catchyyy

“Most of us are Mexican“ LOL

CANDY YOU DESERVE A MAN WHO WILL TREAT YOU RIGHT! WHO WILL APPRECIATE YOUR CANDY PUNS!

The plane.

*squints really hard at the screen* Starkid-

I want to know what this person was cast as. “The invisible force that is Superman’s flying” yes I’m sure that’s exactly what is was.

I appreciate the subtitles clarifying that his screaming is in fact meant to mimic a bat and not a toddler having a tantrum.

Jussssst. Kisssssss.

Brian is a beautiful elegant man, I love his arm movements.

They...they shared...they shared a..shared a-a cigarette.................

Sweet Tooth is such a good villain?! Like?! How?! Didn’t I notice this?!

we need a combat specialist to dissect this fight scene it was so raw and emotional and the movements were so complex..........

Ah yes. water shots, the most...hardcore drink..ever

Construction man has my heart. Well Dylan does but-

“peeeeeople“ “belieeeeeeeeve” “gooood”

“who” CAPTAIN MARVEL

I mean...is he wrong?

Dude I never heard the word totties till I watched Starkid and now I’m never calling my boobs boobs. They’re totties now.

Fanboying over your crush, his house and his pet.

“pretentious douchebags“ yea, yea they are.

YAY CAPTAIN MARVEL SAVED THE DAY!!!

Wait can Starkid make a bunch of Super Friends musicals?! Why didn’t they continue this it’ve been so fun.

Robin saying the true desires of his heart. You go, be a modern dancer buddy!

“Lauren offstage“ I love that they needed to specify it was our lord and savior Lauren Lopez not some random offstage voice.

DYLAN SHUTTUP I’M HAVING HEART PALPITATIONS.

Did they just buy one of every color underwear available on the face of the earth? Good for them.

Conclusion: I love this a lot more than I remember when I first saw it. I’m am very happy now :DDDD

[scaryscarecrows]

And Their Retribution Shall be Swift and Terrible

AN: White Knight ‘verse. (The next bit comes out this year and I’m VERY EXCITED ABOUT IT, OKAY.)

“--called me Happy Feet! To my face! As he rammed into me at full speed!” Oswald is snarling, fingers flexing dangerously around the stem of his wine glass. “Just because I wasn’t in full control doesn’t mean I missed that.”

Leave it to Oswald to be awake for insults. Jonathan would almost feel pity for Harvey Bullock if he hadn’t brought it on himself.

And, well, Bullock is annoying.

“I’ll have his head--” Oswald tosses back his wine like a shot and pours himself a new glass. “--preserved in formaldehyde and displayed in my house if it’s the last thing I do!”

It shouldn’t be as funny as it is, but Jonathan has to take a hasty swallow of his pumpkin ale to avoid infuriating the little man even more. Thankfully, his barely-contained snicker goes unnoticed.

“Oh, come now, Oswald,” Edward says, voice dripping with disdain. “Batman won’t let you within five feet of him. Unless you want to choke on a handful of pills?”

“Batman can’t be everywhere at once, Edward,” Oswald snips. “You’ll be a fine distraction, with that big mouth of yours.”

“Excuse me--”

Kitty sighs and leans back against him, bottle hanging from her fingers.

“Why do they always do this.”

“I don’t know.” He tries to slide a finger into one of her jean pockets and can’t. “These aren’t pockets.”

“Curse of women’s clothing. Why do you think I steal from you?”

He gives up on the pocket (pocket...humph, to what, a Barbie doll?) and settles for a belt loop. Oswald and Edward are actively bickering now and he’s not the only one laughing; Mary Dahl is hiding her face in Waylon Jones’ massive forearm, ringlets shaking with giggles. To be fair, it’s quite the sight. Oswald’s in a wheelchair, legs thrust out and encased in plaster from ankle to hip. Edward has casts, too; his left arm and leg are useless to him, and he’s reduced to gesturing with his (neon green) crutch.

Is it so wrong to hope this turns into a physical brawl? They’re evenly matched, really. Oswald’s chair is electric.

“Who do you think would win?” he asks Kitty, taking another swallow of his ale. She hums.

“Oswald. He’s used to fighting injured and, well, we’ve seen Eddie run.”

They have seen Edward run. Bless his heart, he is not...athletically inclined.

(He runs like a drunken giraffe.)

“I could probably incite them. A needle here, a jab there…”

“Don’t.”

“As though you wouldn’t be laughing.”

“Still.”

“I could, though. It’d be easy...appeal to Oswald’s pride and Edward’s ego…”

“Jonathan, no.” She twists around to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Just because you can does not mean that you should.”

“The fight of the century,” he continues, grinning. “Special injury edition.”

“You have no shame.”

“None.”

“--that so, Happy Feet.”

“WAH!”

Oh dear. Edward has a pushed few too many buttons, apparently, because Oswald is suddenly rolling towards him, knife in hand. Edward hops away, knocking over chairs as a tragically effective barrier. Kitty snorts and doubles over, forcing Jonathan to readjust his arm around her waist to keep her from falling off his lap.

“This is the best thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”

“Now who has no shame?”

“Cheeky.”

Any (further) potential injuries are forestalled by the arrival of the one person who has been conspicuously missing since Joker boarded the Sanity Train to Betrayal Town: Matthew Hagen*.

Clayface.

As monstrous as poor Waylon has become, Matthew certainly gives him a run for his money. Ten feet tall, with every step he takes making a terrible squelch, it’s understandable that the room goes silent at his arrival.

Well, until Ivy sweeps over to him, predatory smile firmly in place, and purrs, “Matty, darling, you’re late.”

It would figure that the plant would be fond of the clay…

“Where is Joker,” Matthew growls. Well. That’s not something you see every day. Most people are a little more cautious in brushing Ivy off. Strange times.

“Arkham,” Oswald snaps. “But not for long.”

Matthew turns as if to leave and Waylon stands up, tail thrashing behind him and tripping a waitress. Mary dangles off his arm for a second before he notices and sets her on his shoulder.

“You don’t have sole rights to the clown, Hagen,” Waylon warns. “We all got fucked over.”

“You don’t even remember it--”

“That’s not the point--”

“Gentlemen,” Oswald says loudly, as though he wasn’t just about to murder Edward, “not in here. We all have grievances to settle, so why don’t we all sit down and discuss the particulars.”

Hypocrisy or none, everyone settles down and there’s a few minutes of silence while they all enjoy their drinks and get refills. Once the electricity in the air has waned, Matthew leans back in his chair, face breaking into a squiggly grin. Jonathan doesn’t like it.

“Nobody seems to be havin’ any ill effects,” Matthew drawls. Edward snorts.

“Fortunately for Tetch, my brain is unharmed--”

“Not from that.” Everyone’s silent. For once, nobody seems to have any idea what he’s talking about. If this turns out to be Batman… “Didya ever figure out how Joker got to you?”

“Hatter’s chips. The little sneak.”

“Sort of.” Matthew takes a drink (only water for him, alcohol makes him dry and flaky...literally) and grins some more. “But not on you.”

“Clearly on us. Quinn likely--”

“Nope.” Now that his bottle is empty, Matthew holds it up and drips a piece of himself into it. “Just on me.”

It takes a moment for that to make sense, but when it does, oh, boy, does it make sense. A conduit. That they-

God-

He gags, tasting something sour at the back of his mouth. He’s not the only one, either; Harvey Dent is eating Tic-Tacs like his life depends on it and Edward has apparently forgotten his feud with Oswald in favor of asking frantically, “Are my eyes yellow? Tell me quickly, you useless--”

“Never mind you! Andrew! Get Applegate on the phone, now--”

“Ya made us drink clay, ya goddamn buffoon, what do I keep ya around fer--”

“Sorry, sir--”

“--fed me a man, I’ll kill him for that--”

Kitty hands him a Listerine tab from her purse and he takes it gratefully. So what if it was a year ago, that is disgusting, that is not sanitary.

This is Batman’s fault, he decides. He should have taken care of Joker years ago. And once this whole mess is straightened out, Batman and his little helpers will be the next to go.

But first, Joker. And Harley, and Tetch. But to be honest, he’s mostly interested in the interloper, the one who got in way over her head. If she wants to sit with the adults, she needs to learn her place.

Everyone is shouting and demanding that Harvey share his Tic-Tacs (he’s slapped Scarface to the floor already, resulting in Wesker panicking), and he has a headache.

“Enough.” It’s a skill he has, honed first as a student teacher and then as a doctor, that he doesn’t have to raise his voice to make himself heard. “This isn’t getting anything done.”

Predictably, Edward has something to say.

“And I suppose your vote is to flood Arkham with fear gas.”

Bold of him to assume there aren’t booby traps left over from his time there. But he keeps that to himself. Save things for a rainy day and all.

“Not today,” he says mildly, feigning interest in his nails. “We all want a chance to have it out with the one responsible. Petty squabbling isn’t going to help, so we may as well draw straws or some equally mundane thing and see who goes first.”

He’s expecting resistance. But for once, Oswald just sends for paper straws and a pair of scissors.

They get third crack at the clown. Third is acceptable. Plenty of time to plan, with minimal likelihood of him dying beforehand; Edward gets to go first, followed by Harvey. The gathering breaks up shortly after that, with minimal grumbling, and they board the late train home.

“Seeing as nobody mentioned Neo Joker,” Kitty murmurs, arm looped through his in lieu of trying (and likely failing) to reach the loops on the ceiling, “d’you think she’s fair game?”

“First come, first served.”

“Mm.” The train takes a rough turn and they both glance up to check for bat-shaped hitchhikers. None appear. “Good.”

“Tired?”

“I want my toothbrush.” Her and him both. “And then, yeah. I’m ready for bed.”

“May visions of decapitations dance in our heads,” he deadpans. She pokes him in the arm. “Ow.”

“Really?”

“No.”

Tomorrow, they’ll start their search. Gotham isn’t as big as people tend to think. It’s impossible to hide in it. Oh, yes, they’ll track her down, by hook or by crook, and then they’ll see, they’ll just see how loud their little interloper can scream.

THE END

*I’m not sure which Clayface is meant to be the one in this comic, but seeing as it takes a lot from B:TAS, I’m going with that one.