#wahp whap

[m00n-arin]

Whap whap whap whap wahp

Translation: (Help, i swallowed a tuba)

[dear-happypills]

Filter

Maybe I’m vain, but I know that I filter things that I process. And by filter, I mean that which comes into my mind.

I think it’s called selective attention. I think... 

It is pretty egotistical. I turn on what my mind wants to hear and all the noise outside are but mere noise. Unless if my mind is set on it, all the other noises sound like that Charlie Brown, “Whahp whahp whap Whahp wahp Wahp.”

But... sometimes. Some times somethings break my selective attention.

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I had 4 emails to send tonight. I should’ve done that in at least 15 minutes. But then I spent the other 15 minutes just listening.

And it was calming...

I heard singing and cinnamon.

And no not the metaphorical singing where singing is cinnamon to my ears. That frankly wouldn’t make any fucking sense. I heard singing and ‘the word’ cinnamon. Or about going to go get cinnamon... I couldn’t tell if all that was part of the song.

But then again I can’t tell many things apart until it’s divided.

Maybe my filter is just broken.

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There are moments when a thought just moves on it’s own. Like just now in that previous section. That tangent. What the hell was that... I didn’t even know what I was writing about. From cinnamon to song, to divided, to filter...

Anyways...

Maybe I should first ask myself if I would even want to filter my thoughts.

hmmm... and yes.

 Yea. If I didn’t filter my thoughts, then I wouldn’t be able to focus. 

But then again... that focus is for my selective attention... or maybe just an attentive selection?

Then how about a filter for the words that come out of my mind?

I think most people will agree when I say that we should have a filter for our words. But I hear many people promote the idea: keep your mind open. Some people even suggest that there shouldn’t be a filter for our minds, and we should soak up and absorb all things.

Yet, it troubles me that we expect our words -- that by which our mind speaks -- to be filtered, when we discourage a filter (selective attention) from what enters into our mind.

But my view is this.

Good will always break our selective attention. It is just that captivating. And it is just that bright. Even if our selective attention tries to block out Good, we will look at the shadows of ourselves casted by Good’s light and understand what selective attention means.

For it is not that attention and focus is lost in such moment, but rather that attention is redirected. And when my filter of selective attention faces that which is Good, I realize that my selective filter has been working in reverse. I filter in darkness for my own sick idea of light.

But Good and its true light break my selective attention. And from it, is a purge of words being filtered out. Or rather “unfiltered” out.

When I am in His Spirit, there is no filter. I know not if what my mind hears urges my mind to speak or if what my mind speaks urges my mind to hear. But I know His Spirit permeates both what my mind hears and speaks.

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Okay, maybe I actually spent more closer to 20 minutes listening.

- happypills