#was already planning to go over mon or tues to see my sister but now it looks like i'm only going bc of this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rezilient-m3 · 4 years

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So, this past weekend I had my first scheduled, court ordered visit with my daughters. The last time I've seen them was Feb 2019 and last time I spoke to them was April 10th. I can say, though, that they seemed to have a genuinely good time here and didn't want to leave. That made me super happy. Plus, Alex came home for the weekend and they all got along too. I was worried a bit. But, all of us together worked. Our son loved having them here and to play with. I loved it.

This post is about what I've been through with James about the whole situation. It was impossible. I'll go back to Friday morning. He called me at 7am, so I knew right away he was drinking. That was a piss off. The court order was to meet in another city at 5pm Friday and take them back Sunday at 5pm. I knew it wasn't going to happen if it was up to him. I stayed on the phone for 3 hrs with him. I didn't want to lose the chance of not getting my visit, so I thought somehow, staying on the phone with him would help that? Idk whatever. It was 3 hrs of bitching about his gf. She kicked him out again, threatened to call the cops and blah, blah, blah. It was also him blaming me for EVERYTHING. Like, why did I leave him for Alex, or why did I "grow up" for Alex and not him, or why am I living in a house that's not mine? It was all senseless BS. But I didn't argue; I held my tongue. He tried to ask me to wait until the next morning to get my girls, then I can have them until Mon or Tues. I said no, it was my time with them and nobody was going to stop me.

He ended up going to his step dads, left me on the phone for a minute and I finally hung up. Now, I immediately contact my lawyer. Then, I called the family services they have on that reserve. On call worker told me she couldn't help because it was a court order not from anyone involving them, so it's out of her jurisdiction and said maybe try the cops. I call them. Talked to an officer and explained my situation. Girl's were at their house, with the gf, her kids and possibly other people drinking and their dad was at his dads. He said he couldn't just go in there and remove my kids because my order isn't "police enforced." But he offered to escort me to the house at about 430, just to "keep the peace". Whatever, that was fine. He called me back half hour later and said he was going to go check at the house, just to be sure everyone was okay. That was great I said.

I waiting over an hour and a half for that call back. I was worried. But here's what happened: they were found alone. There was 3 of our daughters, 2 of the gf's, one was the 7 month old baby they just had. So, my oldest is 9 (10 in 2 weeks) and her daughter is 10. Still not old enough to be old enough to watch a small baby. So cop said he was contacting family services to report everything. Apparently the gf got ahold of her ex MIL to go get the kids, so that's where I had to go get them. I showed up there at 3 ish.

I was so happy to finally see them.! But when they walked out that door I noticed how infested they were with lice... like caked.! The two youngest had it so bad they had their scalps covered in scabs. I was so mad. But I didn't say anything. The two youngest were also in winter boots lol. We were all happy anyways. When we pulled into my town I took them straight to the pharmacy to go ask what the pharmacist would recommend to help their scalp. She said, at first glance, it looked like it was from lice. I said, yes there's a lot. So, I bought 5 boxes (not cheap) and a fine comb. I was ready to spend hours in their hair. And that's exactly what i did, that night until 1am, and again all next morning Saturday until like 7 that evening. I can say they're not fully cleaned out but holee, there was a big difference in how their scalps looked and felt. My poor girls. Their fucken dad's excuse was allergies; they were allergic to shampoo. Bull fucking shit.

Anywhoo, next day is Sunday, the day they're supposed to go home. I contacted family services again and see what they planned on doing. She didn't really have a clue, but said she was going to forward all her notes to the office Monday and it was all up to her supervisor. But I told her I didn't feel comfortable about taking them back to that house. She understood. She advised me that I should keep them with me. She's also informed me that their dad and this girl have had multiple calls prior to this weekend. They already have "a huge file" (her words) on them already. Wow. I had no idea. So, after all the consideration, I decided to keep them.

Before I go on, I should throw in here that I had a spare cell phone I gave to my oldest. She wanted to talk to her half sister through Snapchat, so I let her. Those girls were still where I picked up mine. Noted. Anywhoo, I signed into Facebook with the account I had made them so their dad could facetime me for the calls he was (and still supposed) to give me 3x a week. I signed into it so she can talk to him if they missed him. Good idea? I'd like to think so. I'm not a horrible, vindictive person. My girl's honestly need him too. Then, I added my side of the family, her aunties and some of their cousins. Then, she found her family, including James' mom, her grandma. She had no idea they were coming, so she found out what had all happened that Friday. She was not happy. I heard her say to my girl that she was going to try get them to her. So, that Sunday, I did think of her. I would have took them to her if she was willing. But when I searched for her name on FB, I couldn't find her. She must have blocked me lol. Whatever. So, I thought if family services wanted me to take them to her on Monday, I'd gladly take them. I thought. I even mentioned this in one of the three long emails I've written to my lawyer. I had to explain every detail of why I decided to keep them with me, instead of following an order. Scariest decision I had to make because breaking a court order is serious. Like, the possibility of my stuff just getting thrown out. I'm still a little scared of that. But I thought that an opinion of a professional of advising me to keep them for their wellbeing would trump anything else, right? I hope.

So, it's still Sunday. Kids got put to bed at 1030, cuz Alex had to wake up at 5 am to get to work and I had to wake up and start calling everywhere important. I went out for my last smoke for the night and all of a sudden cops show up. Ask me some questions, I told them everything. They said grandma was down the street to pick them up and they were just here to keep the peace. I told them I didn't want them to go back to their dad. They said dad claims the same thing, that he's concerned for their safety. What a goof. I was pissed. And emotional, all of this caught me off guard, I started to cry. Especially that this fucken woman could have handled this better. She could have had the decency to talk to me her damn self instead of showing up at 11pm at night with the cops. What a bitch. She claimed she didn't know my number. I said, "James did, or she could have found me on fb, OR she could have told my daughter she needed to speak with me." What. A. Bitch. Cops actually said I can say no and keep them but I'd be breaking my order. It didn't matter if James has broken order after order, the one time I did it, and with every good reason, I was the one getting in shit. But I agreed to.

I woke them up, after I pulled myself together. Helped them get ready and pack clothes to go with their grandma. I cried after they were gone. Like ugly cried. For a long time. I'm so grateful my bf was with me through all of that. It would have been harder if he wasn't.

All day Monday I didn't hear anything. It was the hardest day to deal with because I just felt so discouraged and so scared that I fucked everything up. I'm still scared. But this morning (Tues) I finally got ahold of the supervisor at family services. She said she was still waiting for the police report because she couldn't make a final decision without it. Okay then. But I sent her before and after pictures of my kids hair, and told them a lot of relevant things that would help make their decision. As for the calls and files beforehand for James and his gf that were made, I asked if there was any way my lawyer can see them to help my case, she told me he can contact their lawyer for access. So, I've informed my lawyer and that email he replied to ASAP lol. Jerk. But he's contacting them and will let me know what he finds. Court is the 9th.

That is all that has happened in the last 5 days. A lot of highs and too many lows. I'm so glad my girls know where I live, they've seen their room and all the things I've been doing for them. They had fun, when we weren't in the bathroom, but even then, I got to have one on one with each of them. They know I love them and I'm trying to get them to be here permanently. They didn't even want to leave. That's what made me happy.

So, now, it's the waiting game. To see what happens with their case with family services and our court. I'm fighting for them until they're here. They deserve stability and I'm so happy I've grown enough to give them that. I can't wait to start my life with all of us here. They deserve better.

Until next time. ✌

Pray for me. 🙌

#allofme #mystory

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