#was it jake? tanger?

[sidsthekid]

sid bleeding prettily ft. some mild confusion over being poked at

[sportsthoughts]

Day 145 of offseason gifs - In The Room S07E01 - the Pens put a ring on it (again)

[coffee-at-annies]

Pens dropped their Valentines

[crow-talks-hockey]

feels like another time to use this one (made by me before this season. i could foresee the horrors)

[goaliekisses]

models, every single one of them

[incorrect-nhl]

Bryan Rust: It’s funny how when you get older, you start to enjoy things you hated as a kid

Jake Guentzel: Like taking naps

Brian Dumoulin: And getting spanked

Bryan Rust:

Jake Guentzel:

Brian’s Dumoulin: *loudly sips drink*

[marrymepickering]

yall- i have a choir concert at seven.... and idk how long it'll last.

y'know what? just tag me in anything you think I'd like to see so that i do see it <3 (as if yall dont already do this)

[intheupside]

who would survive on a deserted island (dkpitt)

Bryan Rust: I feel like Harkins probably could. He seems like a guy who would be climbing trees and cutting them down with his bare hands, maybe even chewing them down. I think he would do well.

Reilly Smith: I wouldn't say any of us! No, you know what? Harks. Harks could survive. He can probably find weird things to eat. He'd be sufficient at just getting by.

Jansen Harkins: Ned. He just seems resourceful, and I feel like he could just chill. I don't think he needs too much.

Alex Nedeljkovic: Jars. He seems like an outdoorsy guy. Survivalist? I don't know if that's a real word.

P.O Joseph. Not Ned! I'm going to say Gravy. He's from the Maritimes, I feel like they know a little about the outdoors is my guess. On a serious note, I think Ned would definitely be someone that would be good at it, just his capacity of adjusting in places. He would be good at it.

Lars Eller: Sid. He seems to be going different ways about things, about a lot of things. He doesn't rely too much on new technology, let's just say that.

Jake Guentzel: Sid. He's just an outdoorsman, that's kind of his vibe. I'm sure he could find something to live off of.

Chad Ruhwedel: Sid or Carts, or myself. They seem like they could handle themselves in a tough situation. I think I would do OK.

Kris Letang: Sid, he lives in the middle of the woods.

Erik Karlsson: Sid. I just feel like he would be very creative and would probably figure out a way to sustain himself for as long as he needed.

Valtteri Puustinen: I would say Kopi (Joona Koppanen). He's the smartest guy, I think. He knows what he's doing. I think if I went with myself? I'm dying. But he's a smart guy.

Joona Koppanen: I'll take Carts. He has the wisdom and the dad strength.

Colin White: John Ludvig. I feel like he's pretty handy, he'd like the outdoors like that.

Drew O'Connor: Luds, probably. He seems like he would. Look at him! He seems like an animal, don't you think?

John Ludvig: I'm going to say Cookie (Noel Acciari). Cookie's a burly man, he can handle himself. I'm pretty sure he'd find a way to survive wherever he was. I'll go with him.

Noel Acciari: Rudy (Chad Ruhwedel). He has a military background with his dad, he just seems handy.

Marcus Pettersson: Rudy. I think he's pretty handy, he could make something out of nothing, make himself a good shelter. That's big, I think he could build a shelter. Raks is a good fisherman, but the problem is he's alone on that island. He doesn't touch the fish, he hates touching the fish. He doesn't do it. So it'd be a problem, he'd need somebody with him.

Jonathan Gruden: I feel like Petey (Marcus Pettersson) would be good, just being around him for a little bit. He's pretty good, he could work his way around it and survive. Not OC. But P.O could maybe survive too. (Me: Half the team picked P.O for who couldn't survive.) I've got P.O's back! Maybe he's fooling me.

Magnus Hellberg: Can I pick myself? I'm really big into the outdoors and hiking, hunting, fishing. I think I've watched every season of Alone and all those survival shows. I like to be out in nature. When I think about all the guys, I feel like I'm the most nerdy with that stuff, spend a lot of time on the water. I would say myself, but in a humble way.

Rickard Rakell: I think Sid would do pretty well. I feel like he lives out in nowhere over the summer.

Sidney Crosby: I think I'd say Ricky (Rakell). He's pretty chill, I think he's got some survival instincts. He's got the tools.

Ryan Graves: Maybe Jars, I feel like he's outdoorsy.

Jesse Puljujarvi: Maybe Jarry. I heard he stays on a farm? So that's why.

Tristan Jarry: Tanger. He'd find someone to come pick him up.

[icedbatik]

My favorite answers from Taylor's latest survey ...

CCM

Sidney Crosby fishing

Which Penguins player could survive on a desert island?

Reilly Smith: I wouldn't say any of us!

P.O Joseph: Not Ned! I'm going to say Gravy. He's from the Maritimes, I feel like they know a little about the outdoors is my guess.

Lars Eller: Sid. He seems to be going different ways about things, about a lot of things. He doesn't rely too much on new technology, let's just say that.

Jake Guentzel: Sid. He's just an outdoorsman, that's kind of his vibe. I'm sure he could find something to live off of.

Chad Ruhwedel: Sid or Carts, or myself. They seem like they could handle themselves in a tough situation. I think I would do OK.

Kris Letang: Sid, he lives in the middle of the woods.

Erik Karlsson: Sid. I just feel like he would be very creative and would probably figure out a way to sustain himself for as long as he needed.

Marcus Pettersson: Raks is a good fisherman, but the problem is he's alone on that island. He doesn't touch the fish, he hates touching the fish. He doesn't do it. So it'd be a problem, he'd need somebody with him.

Rickard Rakell: I think Sid would do pretty well. I feel like he lives out in nowhere over the summer.

Sidney Crosby: I think I'd say Ricky (Rakell). He's pretty chill, I think he's got some survival instincts. He's got the tools.

Tristan Jarry: Tanger. He'd find someone to come pick him up.

[hunterrrs]

realized i hadn’t read this one on which teammate you’d trust the least with your car and it’s hilarious 😭😂

Bryan Rust: Jarry. I've just got a bad feeling.

Sidney Crosby: I'd go (Poehling). He's got one of those self-driving cars. I'm not sure how many hours he gets driving anymore. He doesn't get a lot of reps.

Danton Heinen: "Well, it was Frieds but he's not here. I'm going to go with Poehls. I heard he has a Tesla and just puts it in auto-pilot, but I could be wrong on that. I haven't seen it, I just heard about it. 

Teddy Blueger: Frieds would be the No. 1 answer but he's not here. Given his driving history, I'd go with him. But Kappy. Kappy maybe wouldn't take great care of it.

Brian Dumoulin: Oh, it's an easy answer (laughs). Frieds. Frieds isn't up right now, but Mark Friedman. He's had his fair share of car problems.

Marcus Pettersson: Friedman, I heard he's been a popular answer around here. But for who is here right now, I don't think there's anybody that irresponsible. Well, Geno drives fast. I'd say Geno.

Jake Guentzel: Tanger has nice cars, but I heard he's not that good of a driver. So it'd be him. He has a lot of cars, but I wouldn't trust him with mine.

Kasperi Kapanen: Guentzel. I think he's wrecked his car before, or at least scratched it. I wouldn't give him my keys.

Ryan Poehling: I'm going to go with P.O. I've been in Montreal long enough where the drivers aren't the best and he's from there, so that's why I'd say him.

Jason Zucker: No chance I'd let P.O touch it, I don't trust him. I don't trust P.O, I don't know what it is. I don't like him, I don't really trust him (smiles). You can tell him I said that, he'd definitely be No. 1.  And honestly, Kappy. Geno, maybe. Those are my final three.

P.O Joseph: I've heard some bad comments about my car, Tanger hated to drive my car, so I wouldn't let him drive my car again. Zucker is definitely never jumping in my car. Those guys make fun of me for my car, so I wouldn't give them the chance or opportunity to be in my car.

Tristan Jarry: All of them. Because I like my car.

also jarry’s responses are just 😂

should nhl ease up on dress code?

who would be the best coach?

who would be the best color analyst?

also sid and tanger picking each other as roomies 🥹

[hauntedppgpaints]

All the generational talents swap teams au

5 au fun facts

holy fuck. ok so i took this to a group chat and we discussed it a little:

sid and nate swap: sid to the avs, nate to the pens. sid and georgie get along because holy shit have you seen georgie's face? made for misery, i swear to god. im not even gonna touch on sid's st. sebastian lookin ass. nate & tanger and geno, however. holy shit. the instant nate tries to gently suggest a healthier alternative, or something closer to their meal plan, they're both gonna look at each other and agree that this kid is in need of some joy and whimsy

auston and connor swap: auston to the oilers, connor to toronto. both are vilified by the media, step away from hockey, and are never seen again.

ovi to the hawks. he's bristling, spitting mad for a few weeks, until nicke calls him and tells him to knock it off, then he's got a whole flock to brood over.

flower to the caps. quietly miserable, wanted to spend his last year in minnesota.

bedard to the wild. still looks like a deer in headlights. but it's mostly because jake keeps flashing him.

[yabagofmilfs]

Jake’s trade gets announced mid-game tonight. The bench is buzzing angrily about it. Guys are wiping away tears. The Crosby line is on the ice. Sid has a breakaway, it’s a 2 on 1 but they can’t catch him—but wait, he’s stopping at the blue line, he’s—oh my god he’s shootjng the puck into the crowd? Not the crowd, Josh—look, he’s shooting it right at Kyle Dubas and the front office staff. Oh my god now geno’s out there with him, oh no Dubas has poked the bear. He’s firing one timers up at the box too. Now Rusty’s out there too, and Tanger oh my god. Where are all these pucks coming from? They’re gonna get a game misconduct for sure. What are they thinking, this is a must-win game for the pen—

in the background of the broadcast you can hear Sid shriek THATS NOT HOW WE DO THINGS IN PITTSBURGH. The feed suddenly cuts out.

LIVE SPORTS! ESPN ORIGINALS!

The game cones back on 20 minutes later, like nothing ever happened. Jake’s dressed and on Sid’s line. We win. We keeping winning. We’re going all the way. We’re in Boston baby who can stop us. Sidney Crosby willed the Pittsburgh penguins to another victory you couldn’t write it up like this if you tried!

[coffee-at-annies]

Sorry apparently it’s “which cartoon character would you want to spend a day with” not what’s your favorite cartoon character. Anyway the boys are as follows:

Rusty - Tasmanian Devil

PO - Johnny Test (PO had to explain who this was to Potash)

Sid - Bugs Bunny (he’s always been a big fan)

EK - Maui from Moana (he also wants to meet Dwayne Johnson so it’s a two for the price of one sorta thing)

Geno - refused to answer before Potash even asked the question but changed to Tom and only Tom from Tom and Jerry

Jars - Tom and Jerry (he imagines the day spent together would be exactly as depicted on his mask - lots of running around)

Tanger - “sorry but I don’t watch cartoons” (refused to answer)

Jake - Super Mario (bounces around like Jake does on the ice - plus he used to play it a bunch on the plane)

Cookie - Stewie Griffin

Ned - Tom and Jerry (Potash did call him out about as the third T&J answer, asking if it was Tristan’s mask. He said its the first thing that popped into his head)

Nieto - SpongeBob or Eric Cartman

[ehghtyseven]

some ramblings about the night of assists bc I don’t want to forget these little things 😍

sidney: just exceptionally pretty close up in person; thighs just exceptionally massive up close in person (cue even the dudebros behind me gushing over how big they were); apparently inherently lucky bc all three times I witnessed him place someone’s bet for them when asked, they won; not above cheating nudging the wheel to keep spinning later in the night if it wasn’t working out for people; braces (hot - should wear more often) but no hat (sad)

geno: in fine form; BIG hands, very deft; his face is just so expressive all the time, it’s delightful; no hat or braces (sad) but still effortlessly hot

tanger: still holding court at his blackjack table after everyone else was done; wonderfully judgemental, loud and dramatic over people’s choices; sent pojo to find him another drink when his was empty; braces and hat (👌)

pojo: so cute! kept trying to send the ball the wrong way at the roulette wheel; did not seem to mind in the slightest kappy telling him what to do whilst gently mocking him for it; was dancing to the street band at the end of the night & just generally having a fun time; braces and hat (good boy)

kappy: in his element; bossing pojo around; no braces or hat (boo)

dumo: is Not Good at mental maths bless him and checked every hand with us before paying out; gave me a $25 chip instead of a $5 at one point - tbf the lighting was low lol - and was just like ehhhhh keep it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯; says london reminds him of dc apparently; hat but no braces (“looked a bit amish” according to my friend)

jake: saw sid cheating helping by nudging the wheel and decided that meant he could too but much more blatantly; not above just spinning the whole thing again; generous with the payouts; sparkly braces but no hat (looked cute)

jason & rusty: did not seem to know the rules (not sure anyone did); had a very fond little lovers spat about it; jason mostly pleased they gave him the little stick you use to push things around with; hit himself in the head with it at one point; jason wearing his special velvet shoes again, rusty rocking a hat & beads combo, both wearing braces (nice job boys)

tristan: sweet boy, sweet smile; braces and hat (excellent fit in general)

dan potash: delightful; apologised that I’d witnessed two losses so far this trip; dismissed several hall of famers with a hand wave when talking about how good sid is; taller than expected; glittery waistcoat & hat, excellent shoes (a+ outfit choices all round)

sully: seen briefly, looked hot; regular suit, no hat (I would have liked to see it tbh)

burkie: seen briefly; giant beads instead of the open tie round his neck

r-hex: not seen, just as well tbqh

[idontlikeem]

are sid, geno, and Tanger all just at the point where they aren't trying as hard as they could be? is that the culture change the team needs: them caring?

I don’t know what’s going on. I’m back to being very concerned about Geno’s play like I was in December, Kris I’m wondering if he’s hurt or something, and Sid….he’s mad, ok, but instead of translating that into playing well he’s either pouting (yesterday) or having his temper boil over physically (today).

To me, what this looks like is that Sully is no longer able to rally them. At this point, coaches don’t really do much in the way of teaching guys how to play or even directly doing much play-calling—the core has played for too long, they are who they are. A coach’s job is to motivate, and get them out of their heads and into the game, and figure out what to say and do to unlock a player’s full capability and keep them mentally strong even if it gets tough.

All season we’ve seen this team wilt in the face of one mistake and end up blowing the whole game because that one goal against freaked them out so bad. All season we’ve seen them start slow and not look like they’re ready to play. All season we’ve seen the power play struggle because they default to passing around the perimeter. We’ve hypothesized about Geno’s personal life causing him to struggle as much as he has (and make no mistake, I’ll defend him to the grave but he is NOT blameless for this, he’s basically refusing to shoot now), we’ve talked about how hard the team losing and now Jake being traded is on them…. A coach’s job is to keep that noise out of the room and off the ice. Sully is, in my opinion, pretty clearly not doing that anymore. Messages and methods always go stale eventually.

If they had gotten rid of this coaching staff in December, does a combination of a new voice and the systemic shock that losing a coach gives to players who are maybe getting complacent and stagnant bump this team back into being competitive on a regular basis? Maybe, maybe not, but I lean towards yes. At the very least, they’d look less fucking grim out there.

I just don’t know.

[butterflyintochains]

The Penguins' Found Family

Sid + Geno's Forward Kids:

Bryan Rust Jake Guentzel Drew O'Connor Michael Bunting Teddy Blueger

Kris + Erik's Defence Kids:

Olli Maatta PO Joseph Adopted: Kasperi Kapanen and Brandon Tanev Jack St Ivany

Max + Flower's Goalie Son:

Tristan Jarry (now co-parented by Sid and Tanger)

Hope someone vibes with this as I do.