#was she mean to feyre? yes. was she rude to her? yes. but ABUSIVE??? yeah pls don’t ever associate that word with her.

[golemthegolem]

acotar rant cause I am fucking done with Rhys stans

Okay so first off, everyone is entitled to there own opinions, and if you disagree with me that’s fine.

Second this rant has trigger warnings for SA 

I just finished reading ACOSF and it made me go a bit feral. I’ve always hated Rhysand and this book just made it so clear to me that he is abusive and controlling. I get that he’s is hot and also, no wait, being hot is his only positive trait. It just felt so wrong that a so called feminist told us that Rhysand’s SA of Feyre was ok because ‘he had to’ or ‘he felt really bad about it’. Obviously SA is never for the right reasons. Anyway back to ACOSF. 

So first and foremost, the villianising of Nesta. As someone who really struggles with mental health, I loved and empathised with Nesta. But to watch her be insulted, used and taken advantage of by her so called family was really upsetting to me. I acknowledge that Nesta was rude, and at times cruel, but that didn’t mean she deserved what she got in ACOSF. People are really out there saying the house of wind wasn’t a prison when Feyre threatened to have Nesta TIED UP AND DRAGGED there, after she had just been kidnapped and traumatised by Hybern. 

Nesta was slut shamed in ACOSF. I know that her having sex was a coping mechanism, but having her family constantly making fun of her for it rather than really helping just kind of made me uncomfortable. Like it is mentioned in the books that after their first battle all of the bat boys had a six month sized gap in their memory where they were supposedly drinking and sleeping around. The double standards are INSANE. 

Cassian was also abusive towards Nesta in ACOSF. Yes she was rude to him, but he constantly pushed her boundaries by calling her names she said she was uncomfortable with, asking for consent in a very questionable way, and having sex with her when he knew it was unhealthy/a coping mechanism for her. When Nesta was finally vulnerable with him, he threw it in her face, asking why he had been ‘shackled to her’. Then she gave up everything just to be able to carry his child and was finally accepted, and then went to happily live in the house that she could only leave if Cassian permitted, like WHAT.

Also I think that a very important scene to bring to light is the scene where Nesta falls down the stairs. It’s just casually mentioned that Azriel thought Cassian could have pushed Nesta down the stairs, in this book. For someone who cared so much about how feminist and supportive the bat boys are, SJM was just like ‘yeah I mean Azriel thought Cassian could have pushed Nesta down the stairs but he didn’t so it’s fine.

Also, I have seen this mentioned a lot but when Tamlin locked Feyre in a house, he was being controlling, and when Rhys locked Nesta in a house and then literally threatened to KILL her, he is just protecting Feyre. I think with the locking in the house thing, for both Tamlin and Rhys, in the best case scenario it was a misguided attempt to protect Feyre, and in the worst case, a power play to control vulnerable women. Although Rhys claimed he was ‘helping Nesta heal’ it was mentioned that he smirked as she was told everything, like he was enjoying her discomfort. Overall I think that this book felt with themes of trauma and abuse very poorly, but I wouldn’t expect anything more from Sarah. It was basically faerie porn with very bad plot.

Anyway please correct me if any of this is wrong, as I can’t bring myself to re read the acotar series 

[ellievickstar]

Climbing Out (Chapter 6) 

A/N: So we have to recover from the break I have been taking so I’m trying to post more until I can find a consistent schedule. Hahaha you guys can suggests which days you want this series to be posted on and I’ll think on it. 

Ship: Azriel x Reader, archeron!reader

Warnings: Abuse AKA Violence, Swearing, Feel free to tell me if I need to add anymore

Genre: Angst

ACOTAR Masterlist

Climbing Out Masterlist

Requested? No. Inspired? Yes! This series is inspired by Just Another Stereotype but the storyline is slightly different.

~*~*~*~*~

The word fine was always interesting to me. 

You see, whenever someone says their fine they usually mean that their not. Imagine asking your friend if they were okay and no matter how much they were suffering in their on head they would smile and wave you off, saying the same thing, “I’m fine”. But were they? 

No one usually blinks twice at the answer. We all know it’s a lie but no one cares enough. Because whenever someone asks about how we feel, we know it’s not because that person cares.

It’s because it’s basic courtesy and it’s seen as rude if they don’t. However, most of the time, they never actually care. Which is why we find the need to say that we are indeed ‘fine’. 

Now, I was trapped in that cycle. As I walked around the townhouse, feeling dead on the inside. I hated myself more then anything. As they prepared for Hybern, the queens, the war that was bound to occur, I was left to myself. 

Occasionally when we got together for meals, or if they passed me in the hallway, someone would ask me if I was alright.

But as hollow and as empty I felt on the inside, as I struggled to fill the void in my head as intrusive thoughts constantly penetrated my mind, I always forced myself to smile, and say that I was fine. 

There was one thing that kept me sane, helped me escape my reality. Books. Whenever I could I would make the long trek to the libraries and bookstores around Velaris and I would look for new books to read, new worlds to explore.

There was one that made me particularly interested, a book series called ‘Throne of Glass’. It was about a young female assassin and I was greatly invested in the whole series. 

So I had my books, my small world, and I didn’t dare ask for anything more. As Feyre and Rhysand were still going at each other like two dogs in heat, I preferred to stay away, not really wanting to hear about my sister’s happiness. 

I was happy for my sister, of course. She deserved her happiness but I could not help but feel trapped. I wanted to look for more, explore more.

There was a void in my soul that I wanted to fill, I wanted a purpose. And being trapped in this court, constantly being pressured to stay in line so things went smoothly. I hated it. I hated myself for wishing that I had more, told myself that I was ungrateful and that I should be thankful I was even alive. 

But I felt alone. 

Despite everything, I felt alone. Sure I was surrounded by people but it felt like that kind of loneliness that made me feel like I had no one. Nothing to depend on except myself and I know that that should have been enough but I wanted more then anything to have someone to lean on. I needed to get out of this place, I needed to feel free after everything. 

“Y/N?” My head snapped up as I looked at Rhysand. His eyes hardened as if analysing my every move for a second before shaking his head. “I asked if you were going to accompany us back to your sister’s home to send a letter to the mortal queens, I need to make sure, just in case you had changed your mind,” I blinked before coming to a realisation that he was talking about the trip to the mortal lands tomorrow. 

“Uh- yeah, I’m still going,” I stumbled over my words before quickly standing up, “I’m so sorry I’m extremely tired, I should probably get some rest before tomorrow, you guys can fill me in later,” Feyre looked at me with concern and Rhysand looked as if he was ready to call me out for my lie. But I quickly rushed to my room.

Not looking back. 

~*~*~*~*~

The next morning came quickly. Though I had told the inner circle that I was exhausted, I did not sleep at all. I lay awake and watched the window in my bedroom until the sun began to rise. It was only the did I give up trying to fall asleep and threw back the covers to get ready. 

I chose simple Illyrian leathers and a cloak that seemed to big for me, and the smell on it was so familiar though I could not quite put my finger on it. I pinned my hair back in a half updo, keeping the hair away from my face but not pinning it up entirely. I preferred my golden brown locks to be let down instead of tying it up, especially since I had long hair. 

As I exited the room, I bumped into Nuala and Cerridwen, no doubt on their way to wake me and were shocked to see me up on my own, since I had been sleeping in the past few days. I showed them a polite smile before continuing my way to the kitchen. Azriel was there, no surprise. The three Illyrian males were always up and running at dawn. Well for Rhysand it was more like up and fucking my sister. I doubt Nesta would react well to their relationship or id they would keep it a secret. 

Acknowledging Azriel with a subtle nod I approached the cabinet and took out a bar of chocolate, munching it as I leaned against the kitchen island. He was eating a sandwich, probably prepared by one of the wraiths or himself. 

“So, books,” He raised his eyes at me expectingly. I shrugged as I took another bite out of the sugary goodness I was holding. “I like reading, it’s like an escape from reality, plays some of the characters are hot,” His eyes darkened and I could feel his gaze burning holes into me. I tugged the cloak tighter around my shoulder. “You do realise that’s my cloak right?” He deadpanned. It took me a second to register what he said before I blushed and immediately took the cloak off, extending it out to him, my face probably scarlet. 

He chuckled before punching my hand back. “Keep it,” He said, “It looks better on you,” His lips twitched when I flushed further. I held the cloak to my chest before I remembered when I had thought that the scent on it was familiar. No wonder. 

~*~*~*~*~

It was two hours later when we were finally gathered in the living space of the House of Wind. We went over the plan again. Feyre would fly with Cassian and I would fly with Azriel while Rhysand winnowed them to the gap near the wall and flew through the wall. 

Waiting for Rhysand’s signal, Cassian glanced towards me and Az. 

“You know,” He started, “You never actually specified how your powers worked,” My brain drew a blank. I didn’t exactly know myself. However, I supposed I could try and explain. 

“I can manipulate shadow, kind of like Azriel, I can winnow and I can control the natural elements like air, water, fire and earth. When it comes to water I can increase or decrease the temperature to make it so scalding it would burn your skin off just to come into contact with the steam or I could make it so cold it would cause frost bite, the rest of the elements are kind of like the High Lords accordingly,” I explained. I supposed that was a decent explanation but I might have confused myself. 

“So when you say that you can manipulate water, what about a substance with water,” Cassian pushed. I thought for a moment before nodding. I supposed that that was possible. “What about blood?” Azriel suddenly interrupted my train of thought. I turned to him and sighed before giving him my reply. 

“Yes.” 

~*~*~*~*~

A/N: This newer power will certainly be interesting to explore. IDK I was thinking about how our bodies are 75% water and I was like: Oh it woul be so cool if I could kill someone by quite literally draining them of blood if I could manipulate water. And so we have this. Sorry I took so long with this one but have a nice day loves <3

tag list: @moonfawnx @bankerfrog @younxii @hideing @flightlesslittlebirdie  @menagerofmischief @famousbasementpainter @owllover123 @bookworm-nerd6  @gigisssz @bethany-bee0128  @cityofidek  @aetherl0l @valeridarkness @starrstrucked @judig92 @starlit-terror

[regolithheart]

what do you think about the Nesta/Cassian/Mor conflict? also looking forward to your fics!!

Hi beautiful, sweet, innocent, Nonnie!!

Thank you for writing to me. Like I said, I could talk about Nessian all day and I am full. of. #thoughts. I could give you a short sweet answer, but it’s week six of quarantine, I had a brownie for dinner, and I don’t know what day it is. In the end, you’ll probably regret asking me, but lets just jump into it, shall we?

Unpopular opinion: I don’t like Rhys, Mor, or Feyre. So if you don’t want to hear what I have to say in regards to them, thanks for stopping by. No need to read further. 

I’ve never loved Feyre, but I think that has more to do with the fact that I just don’t like main characters in a series. Would I have preferred to read Hermione Granger and the Prisoner of Azkaban? You bet your ass. I also don’t like Rhys for the same reason, but also I dislike Rhys more than Feyre and for additional reasons which we will get to later.

I hate that I dislike Mor, because I loved her so much in ACoMaF and for a hot minute I shipped Mor and Azriel because I am a sucker for the unrequited love trope. A real sucker. And maybe, maybe I could have overlooked the retconning of her being a lesbian (yes, it was a retcon. Fight me.), if it weren’t for the fact that it makes her look really really bad and makes her treatment of Azriel even worse. I get it. I do. Her working through being okay with telling the others any of her business is part of her personal journey, but being honest to someone you claim to love about not being able to love them the way they hope to be is different than telling them you can’t be in a relationship because you prefer the opposite sex. Listen, I obviously have thoughts about this, but that’s not what the question was about so I’ll move on. 

Mor and Cassian’s relationship is a dangerous one. They both use each other as a crutch. From day one, Mor was using Cassian. Now, I don’t think she was doing it maliciously, but he appealed to her because he was already one of the most powerful Illyrians and a bastard to boot. Why do you think Mor chose Cassian and not Azriel? Sure, she wanted to own her own body. She wanted to decide who she gets to sleep with, but she decided she wanted to sleep with someone before going to the Autumn Court to stick it to Keir and the establishment. And what better way to stick it to them than to choose an Illyrian bastard. Because being the illegitimate son of an Illyrian lord is still ranked higher than being someone with no father and a dead mother. Mor knew exactly what she was doing when she chose Cassian. She is Rhys’ third-in-command for a reason. She aint no dumdum.

And for 500 years it was all good, right? Mor didn’t care who Cassian hooked up with because she knew they were no threat. But as soon as someone comes along that Cassian has feelings for, like true, legit, feelings, she cannot handle it. Because if she loses Cassian as a buffer then she really will have to be honest with Azriel (the horror). And so what does she do? She gets possessive. She outright hates Nesta and does not hold her feelings or tongue back. Now, some people are going to say that Nesta is the worst. She was horrible to Feyre growing up, she’s rude, she’s belligerent, and she can be a straight up bitch. Yeah. No argument there. We’ve all read the books. We have see the evidence throughout the whole entire series. But so is Rhys, so is Mor, so is Feyre, and Cassian and Amren. The only difference, is that a) they all have each other’s backs while no one has Nesta’s and b) we get to see everyone’s reasons and everyone’s POV except for Nesta’s. Feyre is an unreliable narrator, which is why I’m looking forward to seeing Cassian and Nesta away from Feyre in book 4 because I don’t trust her to tell me what’s going on for realsies. 

Honestly, the scene that made me straight up get so pissed at Mor was in ACoFaS when Nesta shows up to the Solstice party and Elain gives Nesta her present. All of Cassian’s attention is pointed to Nesta and what does Mor do? She forces Cassian to pay attention to her by choosing that exact moment to give him his Solstice present. Not any other time before or after when Cassian barely even glances Nesta’s way, but during the what, five seconds, he’s looking at her? PLEASE! It’s so passive aggressive and I hate it. I hate it!

I think the thing that bothers me the most abut Cassian and Mor’s relationship is that it really is just a miniature version of Cassian’s relationship with the Inner Circle in regards to Nesta. But really, when I say Inner Circle, I mean Rhys. I hate how Rhys treats Nesta, thinks of Nesta, and dismisses Nesta. Does he have his reasons? Sure. Are they valid reasons? He sure thinks they are, but like I said before, he’s no angel and we got to hear his full story so until we get Nesta’s full story then I don’t need my inbox blowing up. And honestly, if it turns out that Nesta really is as bad as everyone thinks she is, that’s still not going to change my opinion of her. I mean, why have you even read this far if you don’t like Nesta? Has anyone read this far, period? 

What I mean to say is that Cassian loves his family. He loves Nesta. The problem is that his family and Nesta don’t love each other and he will always feel torn apart over it. Cassian knows that Rhys hates Nesta. He can barely acknowledge her existence in front of Rhys and Azriel because they barely do. Yeah, his feelings are complicated right now. He’s hurt, and angry, and confused, and still loves her and can’t work out his feelings because he doesn’t have a safe place to do so. If there’s anyone he should feel comfortable going to to work out these feelings with, it’s Rhys, Az, and Mor but he can’t because he knows exactly how they feel about her, which is that they tolerate her at best. And even then, do they? 

I don’t want Cassian to feel like he has to choose between Nesta or his family, but as the situation stands, he probably does feel like that. I mean, who knows. Maybe he’s already chosen his family over Nesta. It’s not like she’s making an argument on her own behalf. But we know Cassian loves Nesta. Even if he’s annoyed with her, or mad, or frustrated with her, we know that he honest-to-the-Mother loves her. But until everyone can heal, and understand one another, and accept each other, it’s a lose-lose situation all around. Notice how I didn’t say love, or even like. 

Do I feel sorry for Cassian? Yes. Do I think he’s entirely faultless? Nope. Yes, he’s in a shitty situation, but honestly if he had a real conversation with Mor (and the Inner Circle) about his feelings about/for Nesta and confront her about her treatment of Nesta, he’d get different results. Do I think he’s terrified of having an actual, honest conversation? You betcha.

And yeah, we all know that Nesta isn’t making the situation any easier. But she’s hurt and suffering more than any of us really know. Do I think she's entirely blameless? Absolutely not. But I do feel that Rhys and Mor are extra judgmental of her because they already have their preconceived notions of her and anything she’s done contrary to that is ignored while everything she does that reiterates it is magnified. But here I am getting derailed again.

Nesta feels unloved. We can argue whether or not it is deserved another time, but the fact is that she feels unloved. Probably has always felt unloved. So every time Cassian choses to look at Mor instead of Nesta, it’s confirmation to her that she will never be anyone’s first choice. Look, the only man who said he loved her turned out to be abusive and assaulted her. And then when her father declares that he loves her, he gets murdered right in front of her eyes. Elain is the only other person Nesta knows loves her, and now she’s chosen Feyre and the Inner Circle over her (at least she has in Nesta’s eyes). You see where I’m going with this, right?

Except for the few dire times during the war--like when they’re legit in battle for their lives and emotions are running high--does Cassian let himself show Nesta that he cares for her. The only other times is when they’re by themselves. We know it’s because Cassian hides behind his bravado. But to Nesta, who probably has the worst opinion of herself, it probably means he’s ashamed to show it. Or he’s uncertain. I know we don’t have proof of this in the text, but I like to think I understand Nesta on a deep level, I can just imagine that’s how she’s feeling. Nesta pushes people away so that she doesn’t get disappointed when they decide to leave on their own accord. Nesta fought for Feyre, she fought for Elain, and she fought for Cassian. And in ACoFaS they all essentially turned their backs on her. And you wonder why she has so much rage in her frozen heart. 

TL;DR (not that I blame you): It’s complicated and it’s messy and everyone involved has contributed to it’s tangled mess of jealousy, insecurity, selfishness... but I also place more responsibility on the two 500-year-olds than I do on the 23-year-old. 

I’m really interested to see how it plays out in the next book(s), but I will tell you right now, I am on team Nesta Archeron and will be until my dying breath. 

Also, if you made it to the end...

[opis-writing-nook]

Opi’s Note: Please read the trigger warnings before you read under the cut.

Trigger warning for MC’s backstory: abuse (both physically/mentally), sexual abuse, murder, murder/suicide, mentions of suicide (talked about briefly), child death.

Name: Feyre

Age: 27

Likes: Solomon, cooking(especially cute things), Wolfy, sports, reading and the bros

Dislikes: people who are mean to animals, rudeness

Appearance: White hair, one blue eye and the other is golden, she´s quite short(Sol finds it cute but won´t say it) and her looks tend to attract lots of attention(she´s beautiful but is not aware of it)

Backstory: Feyre´s mother had an affair with a man who left her after she got pregnant, so she claimed her daughter ruined her life and started abusing her physically and mentally, constantly calling her worthless and a disgrace. When Fey was 5 her mom left and her father became violent, blaming her for her mom´s actions. When she was 8 her dad raped her, after that she was planning to kill herself in a nearby bridge when she  heard a scream, she went to see what was happening and saw a boy being beaten up by his mother. Feyre waited for the mother to leave and went to talk to him, the only thing he said is that his name is Jake and she promised to visit him the next day.

That kept going for a year and they became friends. Until one day she went to his house and saw Jake´s corpse next to his mother´s. She knew that if she came back home her father would beat her up, so she decided to run away. A sorcerer named Ray found Feyre and took her in as his apprentice. Years later Solomon came to visit Ray and met Fey there, over time they became friends and after Ray died they started living together.

Feyre loves Solomon and tells him all the time, but she doesn´t know she´s in love with him, since she´s only familiar with Ray´s parental love. She´s very open about her feeling and tried to talk to him about it but he says it´s because they are friends(yeah, sure). Sol on the other hand has been Fere´s b*tch since he first met her but refuses to admit it. He´s afraid of commitment (idk man, but living with her, sharing a bed, seeing each other naked constantly and pretty much behaving like a married couple sounds like commitment to me all you have to do now is fu-) and Fey´s oblivious.

They went to Devildom together and Sol tried to annoy the bros by being affectionate with Fey even more then before(is that even possible?), but slowly he realized he doesn´t like how close the bros are with her(you love her man, just admit it).

Fey´s a social butterfly and LOVES making new friendships but since most people don´t know she´s a sorcerer and the ones that do are constantly traveling is hard to keep in touch with them. She´s super kind and selfless(Simeon thought she was an angel when they first met). She loves telling dad jokes and no one has the heart to say they are laughing because of her laugh and not because it was funny. She loves the Devildom specially because of the friendships she made(poor bby just wants some love). She´s REALLY affectionate and overall a cutie patootie(unless you mess with her friends an Wolfy). Her pet is a a white wolf who´s eyes are just like hers(blue and golden)and she ADORES him. She´s very honest, bubbly and her philosophy is: “life can be horrible sometimes, so I´ll do my best to enjoy the good parts as much as I can´´.

Basically:

Solomon: I´m totally not in love with Feyre

Feyre: Sol

Solomon: Yes my darling, my beautiful goddess, light of my life, what canI do for you?

Feyre: Dinner is ready :)