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heyitsyn · 4 years

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Keeping Up With Seijoh Ep. 3

a/n: uwuwuwuwu this is an au since yanno,,,, they didnt really make it to nationals :(

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

GUESS WHOS BACK! BACK AGAIN!

anon:

may i request a scenario where seijoh made it to nationals and atsumu flirts with reader🥺

CAN WE BLS STOP THIS SANGWOO/ATSUMU TYPA BEAT BC I HONESTLY DONT VIBE W IT AND IT LOWKEY SCARES ME A LITTLE :o

OMLOMLOML YALL MADE IT TO NATIONALS

to be honest, it was,,, unexpected

you were sitting there, on the bench and gripping it in anticipation as seijoh and shiratorizawa were once again at a match point thanks to kyotani’s angry spike

going past 31, they were now 31-30 with seijoh in the lead

you could tell ushijima was getting antsy despite him covering it up and encouraging his team with a one-liner

your own team was buzzing with both nervousness and hope and iwaizumi was clenching and unclenching his fists in anticipation for the last toss

when the ball went up, oikawa’s eyes flashed, arms moving to set and the red-haired spiky guy was now watching which spiker he was going to give it to

however

he tossed it to no one

instead, oikawa’s hand flicked and he dumped the ball

it was like in slow motion and as shiratorizawa’s players scrambled to the floor,

it was too late

the ball bounced on yellow polished floor before rolling away, completely unaware of what just happened and the lives it just changed

your mouth hung open, eyes trailing after the rubber ball like every single people in the gym

then it finally hit you

‘YOOOOOOOOSSSSHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’

a scream from iwaizumi lit the candle of happiness and you didnt even care, running out to the court to jump on your captain, tears flowing down his face and his arms squeezing you tightly against his chest

‘AKLDFJJSHKFEOIOWIHFSKESIFOEWIHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’

it was all a jumbled noise from everyone, your team, your coaches, the fans in the stand, and even from that orange boy and his team

the boys were hugging each other and crying and sobbing but oikawa’s hold remained on you, your own tears mixing with his sweat and coating his neck

‘you did it, oikawa-san. you did it’

you whimpered and he laughed and you felt him nodding

‘we’re going to tokyo. nationals!’

he choked out

‘OIKAWA!’

the entire gym rumbled and you basked in the joy that the entire team radiated before having to stand with the coaches so they could shake hands with shiratorizawa for a good game

the locker room was loud, even much louder than the gym, with kindaichi’s loud sobbing and mattsuhana’s loud celebratory singing and iwaizumi’s joking shouts and eventually joining in

iwaizumi held his arms out for you and you giggled, crashing straight into him

you wiped his sweat filled face and he sat down on the bench, with you standing between his legs and his large hands gripping your waist

‘it’s not a dream, right?’

he whispered, eyes closed at the gentle feeling of you caressing his face

‘no, iwa-san. nationals is ours’

you soothed and he let out another loud laugh before pulling you close and burying his face in your stomach, probably crying again but this time, out of joy

for years theyve tried

and now, they succeeded

well,,, nationals should be a good thing, right?

hmm,,, maybe the honor of going

but the other players??

oh god

it was obvious when miyagi’s representative entered through those doors and eyes immediately went to their manager

it wasnt like you were the only female manager but you were an unfamiliar team so you have never been seen before

uwu youre so pretty like bow down to the goddess

oikawa’s hold on your hand was tight and his eyes flitted to everyone who looked at them, as if signalling them to back off and you were his

‘wahh, oikawa-san! kageyama told me that the best of the best are in here! he told me to look for fukurodani and nekoma!’

seijoh’s eye twitched at the mention of your new-found friend who you’ve been texting back and forth and him secretly teaching you everything about volleyball since your own team has been too busy preparing for nationals

they watched you try and stand in your tippy toes to find the apparent red and black jerseys and the black, white and gold jerseys

hmm,,,, it seems everyone had the same colors

‘ne, y/n-chan, you trust our team, don’t you? if anything, we’re part of the best of the best! you got the best setter right here!’

oikawa grinned but you nodded distractedly

‘come on, we got to go unpack and train’

iwaizumi nudged so you had to stop looking and you followed your captain, who still held your hand

but this is a typical fanfiction ladies and gents

as you were walking towards the locker room, there was a team that wore maroon colored jackets and were walking towards you

again, this is seijoh’s very first nationals so nobody really knew of them

they were more familiar of the white and purple jackets of shiratorizawa rather than the mint green and white of seijoh

however, oikawa seemed to know them

‘ah’

he whispered out, making you look up at him but his sights were straight towards them, a hard and cold look

‘ara? fresh blood?’

you cringed at the weird analogy and the guy with the black tips, who you infered to be the captain, elbowed him

‘excuse us’

he nodded in greeting and you noticed the guy with the bleach hair and you did a double-take, blinking rapidly

‘oh sangwoo?’

KSLDFJKDLFJSLDK KILL ME ALREADY

watari coughed, knowing exactly what you meant and it seems nobody else did except for the sangwoo look-a-like

and he raised an eyebrow in interest

‘hm? you called?’

another guy with gray hair, who looked exactly like him, rolled his eyes and he pulled him forward to walk after their captain

but he didnt let off yet

as he passed you by, he leaned close, breath fanning your ear

‘but its miya atsumu, baby girl’

ON GOD I WANT TO COMMIT WITH HOW GROSS HE IS LIKE BLS

kyo, who was behind you, growled at him and pulled you behind himself

‘she has name, fcker’

atsumu faked a surprise and backed away with his hands up

‘alrighty, then. didnt know you had a bodyguard, girlie. but maybe,, later on, we could get to know each other. alone’

YALL THIS IS GOING TO GET BETTER LATER I PROMISE HES NOT A WEIRDO PERVERT AS HE SOUNDS

osamu was annoyed and dragged him away, leaving you with your team, who were also extremely pissed off, especially oikawa

‘heh, the best setter in the country and yet he acts like a horny dog’

oikawa seethed, a pointy smile etched on his face

‘eh? best setter?’

you wondered but not given an answer because your captain would be damned if that atsumu decided to show up again

the locker room was actually the same back home

but kindaichi was sobbing again

‘t-this room! the best of the best! i cant-too much-’

you were busy hugging him and wiping his tears to notice the third years huddling over by the corner

oikawa was sitting on the bench while iwaizumi was changing into his practice jersey and the other two were flanked beside the captain

‘of course theyve got their eye on her now’

oikawa mumbled, fingers laced together and touching his lips

‘what can you expect? y/n-chan is an extremely pretty girl’

mattsun shrugged

‘but ugh, if i see that cheese face again,, i will fight’

iwa threatened, angrily slipping his arms through the holes

‘he reeked nasty! gross!’

makki agreed

‘so we’re agreeing to keep her in our sights right?’

they agreed to oikawa’s question and were going to stick by that word

but,,,,

what can you expect from star-struck players?

maybe its because theyve worked for so long to reach this point that the fact that they’re even standing in the tokyo stadium felt like a dream

‘guys, i need to go and fill the bottles really quick’

they mumbled distracted agreements so you sighed and lugged the crate of bottles

thank god there was a fountain nearby and as you were capping the last one, a familiar voice rang from behind you

‘oh? baby girl?’

you flinched at the weird nickname and thought that if you stayed quiet, hed leave

‘chibi? hey?’

he asked and made his way to your side, you closing your eyes and looking off to the side

atsumu thought you were interesting, not like every girl who would spread their legs at him and press up to him

the fact that you even AVOIDED looking at him was so foreign to him and your dismissive attitude made him so drawn to you

‘look, im sorry if i made ya uncomfortable earlier’

he,,, apologized?

but you didnt know who he was so you didnt know how out of character it was for him to even say ‘sorry’

'miya-san, hello’

you mumbled, eyes now opened but still focused on the bottle you gripped

he cracked a smile and was he,,,, nervous?

usually, hed say something dumb or sarcastic to cut the tension, but it was like he was even,,, careful,,, with what he wanted to say next

‘how-um-you like it ‘ere?’

if osamu was to see him now, he’d think his brother was kidnapped by those aliens oikawa swore up and down were real and was replaced by some opposite dimension version of atsumu

you gulped, mustering up a small smile before turning to look at him

‘miya-san, dont take offense to this, but just know i have a very loud voice and i can lift 80 pounds. and im the first one to ever beat iwa-san in an arm-wrestling match’

you puffed your cheeks in intimidation with your eyebrows furrowed but accidentally looking more cute rather than scary

were you,,, threatening him?

atsumu paused for a second to assess the situation and really understand the underlying meaning of your words

then he laughed

a real hearty laugh that made him go for a whole minute

‘-ahahaha!! whew, chibi-chan, ya’r a rare one’

wait i dont know how to type you’re with an accent !!!!!

he let out a few more chuckles then wiped a tear that fell

you just stood there 🧍‍♀️

‘you think its funny, miya-san? yahaba-kun and i also have a supernatural telepathy phenomenon-’

‘chibi-chan, i swear i wont hurt ya’

he promised but you backed your face away, an eyebrow raised

‘thats what they all say. if anything, youre scaring me more so i’ll-’

‘wait’

he held out a hand out but he quickly curled it, pulling it back to his chest

‘i,,,, listen i know how basic this may sound but,,,, youre the first to ever be like this to me’

you rolled your eyes

‘you think i havent heard that before? i have oikawa-san in my team, for god’s sake! ‘youre one of a kind’ ‘youre not like other girls’ yadda yadda’ try harder, miya-san’

you tilted your head with a crooked smile

were you,,, playing hard to get?!

atsumu’s eyes shined, wanting to finally do the chasing rather than being chased

‘well, first off, chibi-chan, i need to know your name’

he leaned forward with his hands buried deep inside his maroon jacket pocket

‘my name? what good will that do? you already call me something else dont you? a name is meant to help people call each other and youve been calling me ‘chibi’ so what’s the point of giving you my birth name?’

even with a straight face, atsumu right away knew of your teasing as your eyes were shining brightly and had a hint of amusement in them

oh my god hes in love with you

he was in disbelief of your attitude towards him so he nodded slowly and laughed again

‘what can i do to earn that name then, chibi-chan?’

ehehehe kuroo,,,,, im in danger

you crossed your arms and pouted, leaning forward

‘ehh? why do you want it so bad? do you call others ‘chibi’ too?’

your expression of suspicion was so adorable that he couldnt stop himself from lunging forward and squeezing your cheeks between his fingers

‘so cute. youre my only chibi, chibi-chan’

you hummed, swiftly wiping his touch away from you

‘doubt it. ive only met you today and you’re already acting like this. what makes you think i think youre genuinely interested in me, miya-san?’

‘fate?’

this time, you chuckled, head leaning down

and as you looked back up, your heart stopped

by the distance, there was a familiar-looking haired boy with golden eyes and an also familiar black hair and steel blue eyes

oh dear

your emotions went sour but you saw the black and white-haired male laugh and the steel eyed male shake his head in disapproval but had the hint of the smallest smile

they,, were now happy

‘fate, you say’

you mumbled distractedly

‘fate instilled magnets in us so i just cant help but be drawn to ya’

atsumu grinned but you averted your eyes to look at him, a soft and genuinely happy look

‘would those magnets be strong enough to draw us together, even if we were in another life? if we were fated, would we meet again?’

you looked up at him, your eyes still glistening but this time, with the slightest bit of hope

atsumu sent you a confused glance but he still shrugged

‘i guess so, if i’m so drawn to you right now. maybe in our past life we were,,, together?’

he tested out, expecting you to roll your eyes and walk away but you laughed

‘well, i just witnessed it happening so maybe its possible?’

you wondered out loud

atsumu blinked again, getting more and more interested in you

‘chibi-chan?’

he asked you and you jumped slightly to look at him with a smile

‘say, miya-san, what if i told you that i remember my past life? and what would you say if i told you that you were in it?’

you grinned but atsumu scrunched his face together before smiling

‘hmm, i dont know what youre sayin but it proves my point!’

he exclaimed but you cocked an eyebrow, a sad smile resting on your lips

‘now what would you say if i told you that you were my nurse?’

a/n: omg i actually hate how this turned out like bls blast me on this

a/n pt 2: during my break, i actually re-read ‘in another life’ and i wrote this up after i finished it again and can i just say? I WILL NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CREDITS TO LITTLELUXRAY ON AO3

a/n pt 3: hewwo im back again and since no one replied with a link, i can,,, guess??,,, that the book is gone??? or taken down?? but anyways, i just really wanted to post something and tbh, stuff like this cant be helped but i really do hope that it’s gone and if its not, dkasjdfkslf again send me the link

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littlenekosfan · 4 years

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Friend - visual narrative

this is going to be a long thread bc i have a LOT of panels, so read under the cut!

since im reworking with Friend chapters panels, i paid attention to the details more than ever before.. and wow, the way these chapters are narrated is absolutely amazing

lets start off with my one of my fav panels

if there is a theme between these two that keep recurring it’s “duality” (whether when it comes to their character or the way their story is told) we will also find a lot of parallels with it.. this panel above starts it very well, one left, one right, they both call each other’s name, the expressions completely different, even the background is reversed

there we go again, all this in one chapter, i simply love how they have the same pose/image but reversed, its a really nice contrast with how different they are and yet are at the same level also, look at their speech bubbles, most of the time, jugram has a round one while bazz a sharper one, its the case here and the previous panels aswell

AGAIN! kubo gives us each’s pov with the same image/paneling, i love that method bc he treats them the same, even if one is stronger than the other and ppl will most likely root for/side with one more than the other, they both get the same treatment, also, we get to see how both lives the same struggle, it both conflicts them this whole fight considering the past they had together

the transition is also really nice, the black background outside the panel and the partial grey shading that matches with it inside the panel.. we will get to see that technique again, but here?? lovely.

a whole page not showing their face even if you guessed who they were, you get that little surprise with the face reveal which comes out really nice

the chapter reveal!!!! its so pure and empty (no dialogue and it’s only one panel), it perfectly empathize on the title and its meaning

i love how discreet bazz motive to help out jugo is shown here, obviously none of them would speak about it (jugo is pretty closed and bazz despite being loud, he isnt obnoxious and he’s smart) so it had to be shown without any words and these panels do it so well!

the first panel is just so beautiful and you can tell how jugo is just, happy. and then, the moment his uncle speaks, his face drastically changes, from white to black, kubo loves to work with that contrast of b&w (just look how the ritters/espadas are dressed vs shinigamis.. there is also the sun/moon theme and so on... its not called bleach for nothing lmao) kubo uses contrast very often and we can tell he loves to do it (and he does it super well!!)

i know we dont have any colour on these pages, but both pages are from the same chapter, first one (right) being their fist meeting on a normal day (probably an evening so the sky is orange ish) and the second page is again a jump to a flashback but this time it’s not the sky that we are shown in the last panel, but rather flames, the same colour as the day they met... the two last panels look the same but arent....

there is also the absence of facial expression in some panels, which imo conveys the mood much better, we are not left up to interpretation, we clearly know what kind of feelings that are expressed yet they didnt need to be shown...

again with the parallels (left/right) and using the same image from younger to older to show their growth? nice.

the built up with the grand reveal... wow, love it, also, that panel was such a surprise to me when i first read it... still give me goosebumps today ngl..(if you are a manga reader to likes to have the book, well, this the end of vol69... what an ending :))) just look at the build up, the bg is dark and you get that white and empty panel right after like, wow

AGAIN WITH THE SUPRISE AND WOW IT HURTS, also the title being in capital... OOF, im going to loose it

ppl like to call kubo lazy with his titles, but is it?? i mean, here, i really cant think of a better title, remember how the first chapter friend was introduced? so sweet and smooth and then you get this... the fact friend is written here is a good call back to their relationship, what it is, what it really means, and the current situation

the way bazz recalls all the things he had heard about this.......th-that hurts (we’re like in his mind, we’re just as shocked as he is) also, it shows well how bazz recall all these moment in silence and does all the realization without saying a thing, bc no, he didnt say a thing ever since yhwach started to talk..

the left panel is yhwach talking (as he was for like the whole chapter) and there is no dialogue going on, the two boys didnt say a thing... as the slience was taking place, bazz breaks is with a shrieking voice, just looking how the letters are written in japanese, we went from pure, clear panel to a messy and dark one....

jump back to present, with both jugrams having the same pose but they both don’t convey the same feeling, with the shading and how cut it is (not being able to fully see jugo’s eyes) you can tell the first one is more disturbing/devastating than the second one

there we go... we get to see both of their expression at the same time and it change within the following panels,.. (im telling you, kubo love both of them, not just one.., both.)

this is one of my favorites moments, the way know bazz has lost his fight and how HE is self-conscious about it..., the way he monologues about jugram is really depressing, and how we are only given images that illustrates his struggle...the images are so strong, desperate and yet, his words are so empty, powerless, he knew he lost.. (the moment i start reading it, i cry on the fucking floor)

i mentioned earlier how i loved kubo’s choice in not showing the face, well we have it here again in a flashback and the end of the fight... jugram turning his back to bazz, he did it in the past and did it after bazz’ death.. it’s his way to avoid to face his feelings. (the fact we are shown he did it in the past and the reason to it, let us know why he did it again even later)

here again with empty panels, the fact it’s only bazz who is talking.... feels really heavy and the way he clings to jugram with burning hands....... you really need to look at every panel carefully to feel that heart wrenching moment,, there is no crying or screaming, he just softly admits his defeat and that’s it, like, im sorry but that’s fucking sorrowful

here again with kubo choosing to not show the face, but in this case, it’s harder for us to tell which expression jugram has (since he’s so closed about showing emotions or his intentions) but the fact kubo deliberately chose to hide it proves jugram has something to hide from us, something he didnt want us (readers) to see.........

these panels? concludes their story perfectly you have jugram walking up the stairs leaving bazz-b alone laying behind, being reminded of the day they met where bazz was the one standing high while jugram is on the ground the setting: the cold empty castle during nighttime vs the warm summer day met in a forest at daytime bazz reached to jugram and jugram left him behind, they met with touched hearts only to leave with empty ones, bazz used to look down on jugram and now, jugram does, they used to be so different and still do but only now, their role are inverted...

thank you @equipollency for that remark! i think your post does it much better if yall wanna read it !

i mentioned earlier how the background (outside the panel) would change from black to white, we know the black means the past, but i love how its broken here, going back and forth from the past and present (within the same page) to show how things are still the same between them, the same struggle, the same fight over and over

also, the “not yet” is just so perfectly placed, i cant, it just emphasize even more on my point earlier (how things between them never changed on that matter) and it finally concludes the flashbacks (with the way it’s presented: the b&w,, and the words themselves, how they weight so much)

the black shading like that is rarely used with kubo but when he does, you know it conveys extreme emotions (we didnt get to see it with bazz bc it wasnt as intense as jugram has it but also) the trigger to these emotions for jugram are related to trauma, the first one being his uncle and the second being his friendship (im not calling his relation with bazz traumatic, its how important this relationship was to him and how ended up broken that triggers him)

but NaKi ThErE iS ThiS pAneL wHerE baZz Is ShaDeD bLacK! yes i know, but it’s not about bazz expression nor emotions, its about the scene, the situation (the white bg vs the black silhouette: perfect), so no it doesnt count, but its still a very nice panel just like with the jugo’s reveal with everyone “kneeling” to him.. white bg was The way to go

i forgot to talk about how i like their fight, how there is so little dialogue and how there are a lot of empty pages just to let place to the fight... it lets you enjoy their fight while we suffer with their flashback, anyways, im not a fan of endless dialogue in fights unless it really changes something, here, they both already know each other and they know what they want, so it was a good pick to just, us reader, witness their story through their mind instead of them narrating/recalling it to us

i know kubo uses that technique outside of these chapters, but the grey shading... i love.. he also has a LOT of close ups with eyes bc we all know how expressive eyes are;... i love that too

i know i talked about some facial expressions, but really, kubo’s art is amazing, the way he can convey certain expressions that are so precise... here, have some panels that i think are underrated naki your boys are underrated.. bc i love kubo’s art so much

i had the chance to see the colored version only once, and to be honest, the black and white is just, Amazing. nothing close to that, kubo’s use of b&w and how he keeps his panels pure is MADE to stay that way

anyways, im really in love with how Friend was made and thought out in it’s visual narrative (and story wise too ofc), kubo didnt just do a side story, these chapters are fucking amazing and ppl often ignores that sadly..

#bleach #jugram haschwalth #bazz b #Friend #naki using her brain #ok so tumblr was a dick and deleted some part of that fjhdf #i hope i didnt miss anything...#oh well #guess ill just add it later lmao #im simping hard for these chapters yes shut up

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chipper9906 · 4 years

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Trip Down Memory Lane

Pairing: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Rating: General Audiences

Word Count: 8376

WARNINGS: Violence, Brief Mentions of Blood

Status: Oneshot- Complete

Summary/Preview: Castiel wasnt sure if he had even wanted to see what Dean's dream life would be. He could guess, of course. Such guesses usually consisted of Dean and Sam out on the road, stuck in a constant loop of driving, investigating, and ganking the monster they'd been tracking. It was what Dean was good at, and it was clear it made him happy.

He had never expected to see Dean living the dream domestic life, white picket fence and all.

And he never, ever, in a million years, expected he'd be a part of it.

* * *

When Dean is poisoned by a Djinn during a hunt, Castiel and Sam are tasked with entering Dean's mind and searching through until they find the dream world the Djinn had placed Dean in.This task requires them to search through some of Dean's memories, and Castiel see's something he never could have expected...

Castiel had been alive for billions of years. In that span of time, he had created countless memories of his time as an Angel, a never-ending storage of moments in his existence. His time with the Winchester brothers is an insignificant amount of time compared to the rest of his life, and yet, he can barely remember a time where the two didn’t need his help in some way or another.

Which was exactly what was happening right now.

"Cas? I-I-I need your help" The youngest brother's voice echoed around his head, the shaky manner in his voice freezing Cas in his movements. "It's... It’s Dean. He's in trouble"

Castiel was by Sam's side before he had even finished the prayer.

"What happened?" Castiel asks the second he lands, startling Sam from his crouched position on the floor.

Castiel senses the dead body off to the side, and for a moment his heart seems to stutter in his chest, thinking that it may have been Dean. To his relief, this proves not to be the case, recognizing the slowly fading magical traces of a Djinn in the room.

"There were two," Sam tells him. "We thought we were only hunting one. The second took us by surprise after we killed the first and had us tied up. I managed to get free and took care of it, but Dean..."

It's then that Castiel sees the body laying on the floor that Sam had been crouched by.

"They got him, Cas. Poisoned him. Dean, he's... This has happened before and he figured it out. Got himself out, I mean. But... He's taking a while this time. I don't know if-"

"If he'll wake up," Castiel finishes grimly, crouching down to Dean's side and placing a hand on the elder Winchester's head. "He's weak. Do you have any idea how long the Djinn has been feeding off of him?"

"I have no idea," Sam answers. "I’d been out of it for a while. I don't know if they wanted to take their time feeding or just...Finish in one feeding."

"I'm inclined to believe it was the latter."

"Can you... Can you heal him?" Sam asks desperately.

"No," Castiel answers somberly, his answer deflating Sam's hope. "But... I might be able to help him out of his state."

"How?"

"I'm going to have to enter Dean's mind, to try and find the hallucinatory dream the Djinn has placed him in. With a little push from the outside... Hopefully, he'll find his own way out."

"You can do that?"

"Yes. But it might take some time, as I'll have to skim through his memories until I find his dream state. It'll be kept hidden away."

"Is there any way I can, you know... Go in there with you?"

Castiel looked slightly taken aback by the request, tilting his head to the side slightly and regarding the youngest brother with narrow eyes and furrowed brows.

"You want to go in there with me?" Castiel asks for clarification.

"Yeah, I do. So that... I don't know, maybe I can help pull him out of it? I just... I can't sit here and do nothing while Dean's trapped in his own mind."

"I can take you with me Sam, but... The experience might be painful. And I don't mean physically. There are some memories you might not want to see, and... I have no way of knowing what Dean's true 'desire' may be, and how that reflects in the dream world the Djinn has created for him."

"I don't care," Sam responds defiantly, "I have to help. I just have to."

"Okay," Castiel relents, giving Sam a respectful nod. "You may want to prepare yourself for this."

Castiel lifts a hand to place his fingers on Sam's forehead, then reaches out with his other hand to gently place it onto Dean's head.

It was as if someone had flicked a light switch. One second, they're kneeling by Dean on a dirty and damp warehouse floor. The next, they're bathed in blackness, with no clue as to where they were.

"Okay..." Sam breathes out uncertainly, spinning around to take in the emptiness around them. "So... How do we find Dean's dream?"

"With trial and error, unfortunately," Castiel tells him, also glancing around at their surroundings. Suddenly, Castiel places a hand outstretched in the air, holding it there for a moment and furrowing his face in concentration.

After a few seconds of nothing happening, Castiel clenches his fist, which begins to shake with the effort. A low rumbling fills the air, and for a moment, Sam expects for the blackness to close in around them, like a collapsing building.

It's not what happens, however. Instead, the blackness in front of them seems to shift in place, one solid color merging into a blurry moment, almost like a shimmer, moving in place and glinting at them from the darkness.

"Come," Castiel instructs Sam, already making his way over to the shimmer. Sam doesn't need to be told twice, obediently following Castiel.

They come to a stop in front of the shimmer, hesitancy coming from the both of them.

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" Castiel asks Sam once again.

"The more time we hesitate, the less time Dean has," Sam responds, swallowing nervously. "We have to do this."

Castiel nods at this, and then reaches out a hand to touch the shimmer in front of them.

Suddenly, they're both stood inside a cozy-looking hallway of a house, Castiel still with an arm outstretched, shimmer no longer to be seen.

"You think this could be it?" Sam asks Castiel, spinning around to take in their new surroundings.

Before Castiel can answer, a young boy goes speeding past them, not taking in their appearance in the slightest, rushing into a room down the hallway they were stood in with a delighted giggle.

"No. This isn't it." Castiel answers sadly, already preparing to summon the next shimmer.

Sam's about to ask him how he knows when a young blonde-haired woman walks out of the room the boy had come from, an exasperated yet fond look on her face as she chases the young boy down.

Sam's sharp intake of breath distracts Castiel from his task slightly momentarily, sympathizing with the pained look on his face.

"Mom?" Sam calls out, sounding unsure with himself as he watches her disappear into the room.

"She can't hear you," Castiel tells him apologetically. "No one will here. No one but the real Dean"

"Was that... A memory version of Dean?" Sam asks, referring to the little boy that had run past them moments before.

"Yes, it was. I think... I think this was the night that..."

"Get us out of here." Sam quickly demands, already knowing what Castiel was about to imply.

It's as Sam is forced to watch a much younger, much happier looking John Winchester round the corner and approach his family that Castiel manages to summon the next shimmer. It's the last thing he sees before everything blinks out of existence once more.

If he had known the next memory they would fall into, he wouldn't have left the last one quite so soon.

Burning. That was the first thing he noticed. The unbearable heat that surrounded them, no way of escaping from it. Everything was coated in a haze of red, and screams filled with agony echoed from every direction.

One stood out, however. A shrill, piercing scream, coming from right beside them. A woman was laid out on a table, bound down with metal chains that tore into her skin as she pulled against them, desperate to get away from the knife that sliced its way through her body.

Sam found it hard to believe this could be Dean's dream or his memories. Not when the bearer of the knife was Dean himself, cutting into the screaming woman with expert precision.

"Is this-?"

"Hell," Castiel answers for him, an unusually pale color appearing on the angels face. "This was Dean in hell."

Thunder booms from ahead, and the two of them look up the sound at the same time Dean does. The thunder fades away, and for a moment, it seems that nothing else would happen. Then, a ringing sound fills the air, and the screams get louder.

No, not louder. There were more screams.

The screams of countless demons being smited.

Flashes of bright white light appear outside the closed door to the torture room they were in, and all three remain frozen, listening intently as heavy footsteps make their way towards the door,

"This could be-"

Castiel doesn't have enough time to tell Sam what he thinks it is, as the door is flung open before he can finish his sentence.

Well, flung open isn't completely accurate. More, the entire door is blown off its hinges, the two of them ducking way from the shattered metal door whilst Dean remains stoic where he stands, knife still in hand.

Then, stood right in front of them, is Castiel.

"This is when I rescued him from Hell." Castiel finally finishes, watching his memory self stood in the doorway.

Memory Cas's eyes were alight with grace, the reddish light emitting from the room casting the shadows of his wings against the walls.

Memory Castiel strides towards Dean, and it's no surprise that Dean lashes out, striking Memory Cas across the chest with his knife. Of course, it doesn't phase him in the slightest, and Memory Cas flicks his wrist to send the blade flying across the room, regarding Dean with an almost amused expression,

"You have no need to fear me," Memory Cas declares. "I am not here to hurt you. I'm here to free you."

"Yeah?" Dean responds snarkily, a sneer on his face as he looks to Memory Cas. "Well, can't exactly say I believe you."

"Please don't fight this," Memory Castiel asks of him. "It is my mission to recover your soul and place it back in your body. You will need to find your brother, Samuel Winchester-"

"Sammy?" Dean asks, the harsh tone they had heard him speaking in since they had got here reverting to a much softer, innocent-sounding voice.

"Yes, Samuel Winchester." Memory Castiel repeats, sounding somewhat confused. "I will be in contact with you shortly after. Do you understand?"

Dean glances over to the knife that had been thrown across the room, seemingly debating something. Memory Castiel watches him patiently, waiting for his next words.

Dean slowly lifts his gaze back up to Memory Castiel’s. Their eyes meet and, seeing no dishonesty in the angel's eyes, Dean gives a small nod of his head. Memory Castiel gives him a small smile, the corner of his lips barely twitching upwards before he's reaching out a hand and placing it on Dean's shoulder.

"Sam," Castiel calls out, startling Sam from what he was witnessing, looking over to the real Castiel, who had summoned yet another shimmer. "We need to move on."

The next scene they find themselves in appears much calmer. At first, that is. They appear inside an old, beat-up looking wooden barn, it's walls and roof covered in different painted symbols. In the center of it were Dean and Bobby, leaned across a table that had been laid out with various hunting weapons.

"I... Don't recognize this hunt," Sam tells Castiel "Why is Dean on a hunt with Bobby and not me?"

"This wasn't a hunt," Castiel tells him, and Sam is slightly surprised by the tender smile on Castiels face as he looks around at the barn. "Not completely, anyway..."

"You sure you did the ritual right?" Dean asks Bobby, already getting fidgety. Bobby gives him a bitch face in response to this that rivals Sam's, and Dean looks away with a roll of his eyes. "Sorry... Touchy, touchy, huh?"

Mere seconds later, the barn erupts into a cacophony of noise and movement. Loud bangs emit from the roof of the barn, slowly making its way down to the end, the sheets of metal acting as the barn's roof being pushed up and down from the unknown force, adding to the overall noise. Dean and Bobby give each other anxious looks, both of them grabbing shotguns from the table and standing ready, guns aimed down at the barn doors.

"The hell is that?" Sam asks Castiel, looking fearfully between the banging roof and the closed doors.

"I didn't exactly have the most graceful of entrances," Castiel replies sheepishly. "I, uh... Might have missed on the landing..."

The doors to the barn are pushed open, an all too familiar trench coat clad figure making his way into the barn. The second the doors begin to open, the lights above them brighten and shatter, showering Castiel in sparks as he advances towards the two.

"Holy shit..." Sam mutters in awe

The sounds of gunshots fill the air as Bobby and Dean fire their shotguns, each hitting their marks. Memory Cas's trenchcoat is torn apart from the spray of the shells, yet he continues towards them like it wasn't even happening.

It was rare for Sam to see Dean when he was frightened, and this was one of those rare times. As he rightfully should, after watching Castiel take the brunt of those shots without a flinch.

"Who are you?" Dean asks Memory Cas, unconsciously backing away from the imposing figure.

"My name is Castiel," Memory Cas dutifully answers. "I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition."

"Yeah?" Dean asks, the sarcasm in his tone eerily similar to the one he had in Hell. "Thanks for that"

Clearly not hearing the sarcasm in Dean's tone, Castiel nods in response to Dean's 'thanks', a slight smile on his face.

Dean charges forward, planting the knife into Cas's chest, clearly aiming to pierce Cas's heart. Sam startles slightly, not expecting for Dean to take action quite so soon.

Of course, Sam knows it won't do anything to Cas. After all, the real Cas was stood right next to him, alive and well. It was still shocking to see though, especially when Castiel looks down at the knife in his chest with the most amused expression he thinks he's ever seen from Cas.

"Not the best of introductions to Dean." Sam jokes to Castiel, watching Bobby attempt to knock Cas out with a crowbar, only to be knocked out himself with just the touch of Castiel’s fingers.

"Maybe but... I won't forget it." Castiel says with a fond smile, shaking his head and turning away from the scene in front of him. "We need to keep moving"

It doesn't take long for Castiel to find the next shimmer, checking over his shoulder that Sam was ready before grabbing hold, throwing the two of them into the next memory.

"Uh... Cas?" Sam calls out to Cas, the hair on the back of his neck standing upright the second they arrive in the new memory. "Where are we?"

"A place almost as bad as Hell," Castiel tells him, hating the familiar feeling that settled in his gut as he looks around at the forest that surrounded them. "This is Dean's time in Purgatory."

"Huh..." Sam breathes out, eyes shifting around their surroundings. "This is Purgatory? Dean, uh... Doesn't talk about it much."

"I don't blame him. This place, its...A place you wish you could forget."

"If this is Dean's memory, then... Where's Dean?" Sam asks, only able to see the endless stretch of trees in front of them, not a person nor monster in sight.

"On his way." Cas tells him, raising an arm to point at something in the distance.

Now that Cas had pointed it out, Sam realized they were near the edge of a river, just about able to hear the gentle rush of the river as it flows past them. And there, crouched by the side of the river, was Cas. A dirty, roughed up, bloody looking Cas, scrubbing away the dirt underneath his fingernails in the river, then trying to wash away the dirt that caked the unkempt beard growing on his face.

"Cas!"

Their attention is drawn away to the yell coming from within the forest, an equally dirty looking Dean erupting from the trees with the vampire, Benny, in tow.

"Dean?" Memory Cas seems to say mostly to himself, almost as if he was struggling to believe that he was really hearing Dean, that he had somehow managed to find him.

"Cas." Dean repeats again, elation clear on his face when it sinks in that he finally found Cas. He laughs openly in relief, not at all taking in the look of dread on Memory Cas's face as he approaches.

Dean still has a huge smile on his face as he yanks Cas towards him into a hug, slapping a hand against Cas's back.

"Damn, its good to see you!" Dean tells him, smile not leaving his face for a second as he raises a hand to brush across the hair growing on Castiels face. "Nice beach fuzz."

"Thank you."

"You should meet somebody," Dean quickly continues, realizing that Castiel had no idea who the person lingering nearby was. "This is Benny. Benny, this is Cas."

"Hola," Benny says in greeting

"How did you find me?" Castiel asks, not in the mood for introductions

"The bloody way," Dean replies, and Castiel needs no further explanation. "You feeling okay?"

"You mean-?" Castiel begins as he raises a finger to his head and making a circle.

"Yeah, if you want to be on the nose about it, sure."

"No. I'm perfectly sane. But, then, ninety-four percent of psychotics think they're perfectly sane, so I guess we'd have to ask ourselves, 'what is sane?'"

Sam can't help but snort slightly at Cas's response.

"That's a good question," Dean says, looking slightly befuddled by the answer he got.

"Why'd you bail on Dean?" Benny questions, knowing full well that Dean wasn't going to ask himself.

"Dude-" Dean reprimands him, proving Benny right.

"The way I hear it-" Benny continues ignoring Dean. "-You two hit monster land, and hot wings here took off. I figure he owes you some backstory."

"Look, we were surrounded, okay? Some freak jumped Cas. Obviously, he kicked its ass, right?" Dean immediately jumps to Castiels defense.

"No."

Sam hadn't even been there at that time, can't even begin to imagine all the shit Dean had to go through just to get to Cas, and even then, hearing Castiels dejected, ashamed answer pained Sam as much as he knew it had pained Dean.

"What?" Dean asks, hoping he had heard Cas wrong.

"I ran away." Cas admits to him, keeping his eyes on the ground, too ashamed to meet Dean's gaze.

"You ran away?"

"I had to-"

"That's your excuse for leaving me with those gorilla-wolves?"

"Dean-"

"You bailed out and, what, went camping?" Dean interrupts with a demanding tone, nothing but disbelief etched onto his face. "I prayed to you, Cas. Every night."

"I know..."

Now, looking at the real Cas stood next to him, Sam could see the same agonized look of shame that was reflected on Memory Cas's face.

"You know and you didn't...." Dean trails off, and it hurts Sam to see the betrayal on Dean's face. "What the hell’s wrong with you?"

"I am an angel in a land of abominations. There have been things hunting me from the moment we arrived." Castiel attempts to explain himself

"Join the club!" Dean shouts in agitation

"These are not just monsters, Dean. They're Leviathan! I have a price on my head, and I've been trying to stay one step ahead of them, to-" Castiel suddenly stops in his rant, pausing briefly to swallow nervously before he continues. "-To keep them away from you"

Just like that, the rage that had been growing on Dean’s face slips away, softening into a look of realization.

"That's why I ran. Just... leave me, please."

"Sounds like a plan. Let's roll." Benny agrees, sounding happy to leave Cas as soon as possible.

"Hold on, hold on," Dean stops him, looking over to Cas, pleading. "Cas, we're getting out of here. We're going home."

"Dean, I can't-"

"You can. Benny, tell him." Dean says, looking to Benny behind him.

Benny doesn't look all too happy about where this was going, but complies anyway.

"Purgatory has an escape hatch, but I got no idea if it's angel-friendly."

"We'll figure it out," Dean insists, returning his pleading gaze back to Cas in front of him. "Cas, buddy, I need you"

"This isn't it," Real Castiel interrupts, hand already outstretched towards the next shimmer, choosing to look down at the ground in front of Sam, rather than re-live the memory in front of him. "The next ones ready."

This time, he doesn't bother to ask Sam if he's ready, wanting to get out of there as soon as possible. There's nothing Sam can say in response before the memory, and the forests of purgatory, disappears around them.

For a split second, Sam is comforted by the fact that they were now back on Earth. It doesn't last long, as he takes in the dreary, dark room they found themselves in, Memory Dean and Castiel stood in the center of the room, Dean holding what looks almost like a block of cement in his hands

"Oh no..." Castiel mutters in horror, having been dropped into a memory that was somehow even worse than the last.

Sam, meanwhile, was left feeling quite frustrated, constantly being placed into memories he is unable to recognize, at the same time feeling guilty for watching said memories, that he has no right to see.

"I can resupply the prophet, Dean." Memory Castiel insists, stepping closer to Dean.

"You know, why don't, uh, why don't Sam and I take it over to him, and you can get back to your mission?" Dean retaliates, looking slightly nervous at the way Memory Castiel advanced towards him. "Finding the other half of the Demon Tablet. That is priority, isn't it?"

"I can't let you take that, Dean." Castiel informs him sharply

"Can't, or won't?"

"Both."

"What the hell is happening?" Sam asks, the tension in the room starting to make him feel nervous.

"One of my biggest regrets." Castiel answers bitterly, struggling to find the next shimmer to get them the hell out of there.

"How did you get out of Purgatory, Cas?" Memory Dean asks, holding the block closer to himself.

An odd sort of look crosses Memory Cas's face at the question, looking but not seeing at Dean.

"Just tell me how you got out of Purgatory-" Dean continues when Castiel doesn't answer. "-Be honest with me, for the first time since you've been back-" Dean continues, breaking eye contact with Cas to nod down at the block in his hands. "-And this is yours."

Sam wasn't too sure what he had been expecting to see next. More silence from Castiel? Some sort of bleak response?

Either way, the sight of the angel blade sliding out of Memory Cas's sleeve and into his hand is enough for Sam's heart to jump into his throat.

"Cas. Cas, I don't know what the hell is wrong with you, but if you're in there and you can hear me, you don't have to do this." Dean begs, eyes drawn to the blade in Memory Cas's hand.

His pleas go unheard by Memory Cas, who launches forward to strike down at Dean with the blade. Out of reflex, Dean shields himself with the block in his hands, and the clang of metal against the stone echoes in the thunder from outside.

"Cas!"

"Cas, the hell..." Sam mumbles in shock, watching the scene unfold in front of him in despair.

"Cas, fight this! This is not you! Fight it!" Dean yells in desperation, hoping to get through to Cas.

It doesn't work. Memory Cas attacks once again, bringing his blade down hard once more, only to be deflected by the block in Dean's hand.

It seemed almost as if the blow had affected Castiel more than Dean, who stumbled back away from Dean, a pained look crossing his face

"What have you done to me, Naomi?"

"Who's Naomi?!" Dean asks the same time as Sam, as Memory Castiel folds over on himself, panting in apparent exhaustion, fighting something that Dean and Sam can't see.

"It wasn't me..." The real Cas mutters mostly to himself, eyes scrunched closed, refusing to watch the horror he knows is about to occur.

Worried, Memory Dean cautiously approaches Memory Castiel, placing a hand on his shoulder. This proves to be a mistake, as Castiel immediately strikes Dean across the face at the touch, sending Dean sprawling backward.

Memory Castiel makes his way over to Dean, who was unsteadily getting to his feet. Dean tries to defend himself, throwing a punch towards Cas, who quite easily catches it. With a steady grip on Dean's forearm, Castiel twists it harshly, snapping the bone clean in half. Dean yelps out in pain and drops the stone, which shatters into pieces as it makes contact with the hard floor of the crypt.

"The angel tablet..." Sam realizes, not sure whether to look at the violence he was seeing, or the obviously distraught Castiel, who was still trying valiantly to find the next shimmer.

It pains Sam that there's nothing he can do. Nothing but watch as Castiel’s fist meets Dean's face again and again and again, fresh cuts and bruises appearing with every hit, skin being broken from the force of every punch.

"You want it?" Dean asks, noticing Memory Castiel’s attention had changed over to the Angel tablet next to him. "Take it! But you're gonna have to kill me first. Come on, you coward...Do it. Do it!"

Castiel’s attention is brought back to Dean, returning his fist to Dean's face once more.

"Cas... This isn't you. This isn't you." Dean's voice is broken, the intense pain beginning to overtake him. Castiel strikes again, face showing no sign of what he was doing.

"Cas...Cas..." Dean calls out Cas's name in a weak beg, shaky hand reaching out to the angel in front of him. "I know you're in there."

The limited light in the room glints off the angel blade that Memory Cas had raised above Dean, the sight of which made Sam want to look away, to pretend he had never seen what he was seeing.

"I know you can hear me, Cas," Dean's voice breaks slightly, whether from the pain or the emotion of it all, Sam doesn't know. "It's me. We're family... We need you..."

There's no emotion on Memory Cas's face as he looks down at the beaten Dean in front of him, blade hanging just above his head. A stark contrast to the pure agony on the real Castiels face.

"I need you."

"Enough," The Real Castiel declares just as Memory Cas's blade slips out of his hand, clanging against the floor. Sam tears his eyes away to see that Cas had finally found the next shimmer. "I can't..."

"It's okay," Sam comforts the pained looking angel, making his way over to his side. "Come on. Let's go find Dean"

The next place they find themselves in, it's... Well...

It's enough to raise their suspicions immediately.

They had been dropped right in the middle of a fairly ordinary-looking suburban neighbourhood. A beautiful day as far as the weather, deep blue sky with perfectly fluffy white clouds floating lazily past up ahead, no sign in the least of any rain to come.

In front of them stood a two-story house, it's wooden panels painted a light blue that blended nicely with the deeper blue backdrop of the sky. The house was placed in front of an obviously well looked after garden, neat lines mowed into the vibrant green lawn, with various flowers lined against the side, a single bee house tucked away in the corner of the lawn, a few bees buzzing around their man-made home.

And then, sat in the driveway of the home, was a car that Sam would never be able to mistake. The afternoon sun gleamed off the Impalas pristine black paint job, and laid out underneath her was Dean, sweating profusely as he worked on his baby.

"Cas... Do you remember this?" Sam asks, searching around for anything he might recognize.

"No..." Castiel answers, sounding as unsure as Sam did. "Do you?"

"Not one bit. Do you think this could be it?"

"Perhaps. Dean looks the same age he does now, so it seems unlikely that this is an event that occurred before we met... The only possibility I suppose is the time Dean spent while you were in Hell, but... This doesn't look like the house of Lisa Braeden... "

"We found it?" Sam dares to hope, relief clear in his voice.

"I think s-"

"Daddy!"

A young boy with a nest of light brown hair and crystal blue eyes rushes out of the front door of the house, running full sprint towards the Impala. Dean pushes himself out from under the Impala, a huge smile appearing on his face at the sound of the boy's voice.

"Hey, Kiddo," Dean greets him brightly, grunting as the wind is knocked out of him when the boy practically launches himself at Dean. "What'cha doing out here?"

"Can I help you?" The boy asks with puppy dog eyes that Sam swears he's seen before...

"With Baby?" Dean clarifies, looking over his shoulder to the Impala with a raised eyebrow. "Hmmm... I dunno... You think you can be careful with her? She's sensitive."

The boy giggles in delight at Dean's words, nodding his head vigorously in response.

"Come on, Dad..."

"This is... Definitely it..." Sam notes, an odd sort of feeling settling in his chest. "I... I never knew that...This is something that Dean wanted. I always thought..."

"I don't think he always wanted it..." Castiel says, watching Dean interact with his fake son, trying to figure out why seeing them almost seemed to hurt. "He got a taste for this kind of life with Lisa and Ben, and I don't think he's ever really been able to forget it..."

Then, what happens next, Castiel has no explanation or answers for.

"How did you get away when you're under such watchful eyes?" Dean asks his son, smiling at the mischievous giggle he gets in return.

"Because he takes after you just a bit too much."

Out from the open front door steps Castiel. No longer donning his suit and trench coat, now instead clothed in a comfortable pair of jeans and a simple button-down shirt, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed, watching the two with a tender smile.

Castiel wasn't sure if he had even wanted to see what Dean's dream life would be. He could guess, of course. Such guesses usually consisted of Dean and Sam out on the road, stuck in a constant loop of driving, investigating, and ganking the monster they'd been tracking. It was what Dean was good at, and it was clear it made him happy.

He had never expected to see Dean living the dream domestic life, white picket fence and all.

And he never, ever, in a million years, expected he'd be a part of it.

"You're just jealous he likes me more." Dean retaliates, mischievous grin matching the one on the child sat on his lap.

"Stop trying to make our son choose favorites." Cas reprimands jokingly as Dean stands from the floor, lifting the boy in his lap up by his armpits, getting another giggle from the action.

"Because we all know who it is..." Dean whispered, which made Fake Castiel roll his eyes.

"You nearly finished up out here?" Fake Castiel asks Dean, holding out his arms for their son.

"Yep, shouldn't take too long," Dean replies, passing the boy in his arms over to Castiel, who holds him close. "You want me to cook tonight?"

"I think I got it."

"Oh really? That's what you said the last time. You know, when you nearly burnt the house down?"

"I did not nearly burn the house down. The fire alarm did its job, I was alerted to the fire, and it was dealt with."

Dean gave a sarcastic hum in response, reaching for a rag placed in a nearby toolbox to wipe the oil off his hands.

"How about we bake your dad a pie?" Fake Castiel asked the boy in his arms, who squealed in delight at the prospect.

"I wanna make pie!"

"I think that's that, then." Fake Castiel directed towards Dean, smiling smugly in victory.

"You go call your Uncle Sammy from upstairs if you smell smoke," Dean instructs his son, pointing a fake stern finger at him as he speaks. "You got that, James?"

"Can Uncle Sammy help us too?" James asks, tilting his head back to look at Fake Castiel "Please...?"

"Of course he can." Fake Castiel assures him, planting a kiss on Dean's cheek before he makes his way back inside, James still held tight in his arms.

"Go rescue your uncle from all those books!" Dean calls out after them, chuckling lightly to himself as he turns back to continue work on his car.

"Wow..." Sam exclaimed quietly, feeling like he had become winded all of a sudden. "This is...Something..."

Noticing Castiel’s silence, Sam glances worriedly over to him. Castiel’s eyes were trained on Dean, watching him live his fake life with a look of sadness and regret.

"Cas?" Sam calls for him softly, not wanting to startle him. "You alright buddy?"

"I never knew..." Castiel mumbled, shaking his head slowly "I... I had no idea..."

"I get what you mean," Sam emphasized, able to see the shadows of Fake Castiel and his son move around the inside of the house. "I can't believe that in all of this, Dean included me."

"What?" Castiel asks sharply, snapping out of his trance to look at Sam incredulously. "Sam, you were the only person I was sure I would see in Dean's dream."

"Look, me and Dean, we...We don't always see eye to eye with certain things. We don't always tell each other everything there is to know, and this? This is one of those things. I mean, I don't exactly fit into this kind of life that Dean... Wants?"

"We don't have time to talk about this right now," Castiel breaks the brewing discussion, moving his gaze back over to Dean. "We need to get Dean out of here."

Deans hunting instincts are as keen as ever, lifting his head from under the Impalas hood the second he makes out their approaching footsteps, spinning around to see the newcomers, posture relaxing once he realizes who it is.

"Hey hon," Dean greets Castiel with a warm smile, eyes shifting from Castiel to Sam. "James managed to drag you away, huh?"

"Um...." Sam began awkwardly, looking to Castiel for help. "Not exactly..."

The happy smile on Deans face faltered slightly, a more bewildered look crossing his face once he studies Castiel closer.

"Didn't even realize you still had that thing," Dean noted, raising a hand briefly to point at the trenchcoat Castiel was wearing. "And how did you get changed so fast into it anyway?"

"Dean..." Castiel began gently, dreading what was to come.

"Wait, where's James?" Dean suddenly seemed to realize his son was not with them, looking panicked and worried by the realization. "Wasn't he with you?"

"Dean, I need you to listen to me," Castiel instructed sternly, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. "This is going to be difficult for you to hear, but you have to remember."

"Remember what?"

"Dean, none of this is real," Castiel decided the best approach was to 'rip the bandaid off', metaphorically speaking. "You and Sam were hunting a Djinn up in Washington. Something went wrong."

"There were two, not the one like we thought," Sam adds in, cautiously moving closer to his brother. "We had no idea. He snuck up on us after we dealt with the other. Do you... Do you remember that part?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You were captured, Dean. Both you and Sam. Sam managed to get away, but... The Djinn poisoned you, Dean. All of this, it isn't real. It's what your mind fabricated for you."

"Djinn," Dean breathes out in disbelief, glancing over to his house behind him, thinking over something in his mind before looking back to the two of them.

"What... What if it is real?" Dean stuttered out. "How do I know you're telling the truth?"

"I'm sorry," Castiel apologized genuinely, recognizing just how happy Dean had been in his dream world. "I really am, Dean."

"I hate what I'm about to say-" Sam interjects, forcing Dean to break eye contact with Castiel to look over at this younger brother. "-But think about it. When are we ever going to get to live this kind of life? C'mon Dean, escaping the hunters’ life, it... It just doesn't happen. Not for us."

"Dean, you're in a bad state. That Djinn drained you, and it might not be long before you fade completely, especially trapped here." Castiel informs him.

"But..." Dean tried to argue, unconsciously trying to move towards the house. "My... My son, I can't... I can't just leave him."

"You won't be leaving him." Castiel consoled Dean. "He was never there. Simply a vision created in your mind. You're not leaving anyone, Dean. The people who will miss you, those that are real? We're out there, Dean. If you don't get yourself out of this, it'll be us you're leaving."

Castiel could see the fight drain out of Dean, shoulders slumping, his whole posture shrinking down. Without another word, Dean slinks over to the back of the Impala, lifting up the boot.

"Dean, I-"

It's all Sam can get out before Dean pulls out his pistol from the back of the Impala, not an inch of hesitation as he lifts the gun to his head and pulling the trigger, throwing all three into a startling blackness with a loud bang.

Sam blearily opens his eyes, sluggishly turning his head to see Castiel slowly coming to himself, shaking his head in an attempt to shake out the remaining grogginess.

It felt as if they had been reliving the memories for hours, but from the looks of it, barely a minute had passed. The warehouse they had been in looked as dark and dreary as ever, and worst of all, Dean still laid unconscious on the floor.

"Dean?" Castiel calls out worriedly, sluggishly pushing himself onto his knees and leaning over Dean's form, placing a hand over his shoulder and giving him a light shake.

With dramatic timing only Dean could master, he shoots upwards with a gasp, startling Cas who quickly leans away to avoid being hit by Dean's sudden awakening.

"Oh, Thank Christ..." Sam mutters appreciatively, standing on shaky legs and stumbling over to Dean.

"You alright man?" Sam asks him as he holds out a hand to Dean.

"I've been better." Dean responds truthfully, spending a few seconds with his eyes closed, sat on the dirty floor as he waits for the spinning to stop before eventually grabbing onto Sam's hand, who yanks him up to his feet.

Castiel looks like he doesn't know what to say, and frankly, neither does Sam. Judging by the look on Dean's face, he'd much rather go with this never being mentioned for as long as he lived, but it was a discussion that was inevitable not to occur.

For now though, it wasn't what mattered.

"C'mon, bud," Sam says gently, slapping a hand on Dean's back. "Let's get you home."

* * *

Thankfully for Dean, Sam and Castiel were too busy being mother hens over his health the first few days to bring up what they had witnessed in the innermost hidden parts of his mind. A few days of bed rest were enough to get him back on his feet, and then, it became an avoiding game.

Any time he saw Castiel coming down the hallway or entering the room, he would simply do a one-eighty and escape the situation as soon as possible. He didn't even know if Cas was actually trying to speak to him about it, but Dean wasn't taking any chances. Not when it came to this.

Really, he should have known that trying to ghost an angel of the Lord wasn't going to work forever. Castiel had been respectful of his wishes the past few days, but clearly, something had snapped and he had had enough.

Which is why one early Thursday morning, as he snuck into the kitchen to brew a pot of coffee, relieved to see its only occupant was an exhausted-looking Sam, Castiel had teleported behind him, tapping his fingers against Dean's head the second he had jumped and turned, teleporting them both away before Dean can get a word in edgewise, leaving a poor, bewildered leaving Sam at the kitchen table.

Dean felt the usual sickening pull of the world around him which usually accompanied angel flight, then the ground came back into existence under his feet. Castiel didn't say a word once they landed, dropping his hand away and taking a few steps back, keeping his eyes locked on Dean at all times.

"Cas, where the hell-" Dean begins to ask, trailing off as he takes in the familiar building Cas had dropped them into. "Wait a minute, is this...?"

"Where we first met," Castiel clarifies, joining Dean in scanning the dilapidated barn. "The first time you remembered, anyway. At least, that's what I thought..."

"The first time I remembered? What are you talking about?"

Castiel sighed softly, wandering over to a table that had been pushed up against the wall, its wood rotting and weak from the torrential downpours of rain that had slipped through the panels of the barns room. Castiel gently traces a hand across its surface, pushing down firmly to check its weight before hoisting himself up and taking a seat.

"Do you know how a Djinn crafts its victim's fantasies?"

Dean immediately tenses up the question, while knowing that the conversation would eventually lead to this, was still not prepared for it.

"Not really."

"The Djinn mostly relies on its victim's memories in order to do so. It's essential that the victim believes in the dream that's been created for them, to keep them placated right up until their death. Using the victim's memories means that Djinn's poison can get every necessary detail correct. Without those memories, it's not possible."

"What are you getting at, Cas?"

"Getting you out of that world wasn't as simple as 'jumping right into your dream,'" Castiel explained, making quotation marks with his fingers as he speaks. "Sam and I had to delve through your memories in order to find you."

"Oh..."

"I had to try and find a common detail in your most active memories. That is, where there was the most activity in your brain."

"...Coz those memories are being used to make the dream, right?"

"Correct. I don’t know why it took me so long to figure out... Mostly because I... I never thought it was possible."

"Never thought what was possible?"

"The first memory was simple enough. A tragic night, yes, but that wasn't the focus of the memory. It was of a happy family, nothing more. The others though... I just didn't understand it. In all of them, you... You were in pain. You were hurt, or you were scared, I just couldn't grasp why they were the memories you chose."

"Cas, buddy, at the moment, you have a better understanding of my head than I do."

"No, I don't, Dean. If anything, I've never been more unsure. Each and every one of those memories, the link was right there, but I could never see it... Me."

"Cas..."

"Me, rescuing you from hell. A memory that, I thought had been lost to you. Me, introducing myself to you and Bobby, in this very barn. Me, running from you in purgatory. Me... Nearly beating you to an inch of your life. All of that, right there in front of me, and yet... I still did not anticipate that in your dream world, I would be there. Not just there, but..."

"Don’t say it..." Dean whispers, eyes clenched shut and shaking his head. "Please, don't..."

"You might be fine pretending this never happened Dean, but I'm not," Castiel snapped, pushing himself off the table and storming towards Dean. "I get that you're a secretive man, Dean. That you don't like talking about how you feel-"

"So then you know why-"

"Not for this. Never for this," Castiel disputed, deflecting Dean's attempt at an explanation. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why didn't I tell you?" Dean gawfed, throwing his hands up in the air in exasperation. "Gee, I don't know, Cas? Maybe because I couldn't come to terms with it myself? Maybe because if I told you such a fucking batshit thing, you might tuck tail and run, and I'd lose my closest friend?"

"I would never leave you," Castiel asserted, taking a step closer to Dean to drive home his statement. "You know I wouldn't. Not after all we've been through."

"What would I say, Cas?" Dean asks, words dripping with sarcasm. "'Oh, hey Cas! Just thought I'd let you know that things have been different lately, and I've been thinking of you as more than a friend. As in, I can't get you out of my damn mind, and there's jack-shit I can do about it, other than sit here and think about what it would be like if my life wasn't so fucked up. You know, the kind of vision where we're just two normal fucking people, living in a normal fucking house with a kid of our own, and that above all else, we're happy.'

But no, why should I tell you that? Why should I bother, when I know that this is the life I live, and there's nothing I can do to change that! When I know that even in the damn slim chance that you see me as anything but a friend, that I could ever settle down into a life where-"

Dean isn't able to finish his rant, as Castiel interrupts it by grabbing a fistful of Dean's flannel shirt, twisting his hands into the soft material around the collar. Dean's words trailed off into a stutter, briefly wondering whether Castiel was about to strike him in an attempt to shut him up.

Which is, perhaps why, the reason his whole body freezes up when instead, Castiel yanks him closer, coming dangerously close to clashing their teeth together in his haste to feel Dean's lips against his own. His shocked gasp is muffled by Castiels mouth on his own, and his brain seems to have stuttered to a stop, unable to comprehend what had just happened.

Castiel’s lips move against his own, an invite to actually participate in the kiss he had initiated. The movement at least helps prove to his shell shocked brain that yes, this actually was happening and that he should probably do more than just act like a dead body in this situation.

Dean decides the best course of action was to shut down his brain for the moment. No more questions, no more doubts. It was just himself and Castiel, and that's all he had to focus on right now. It does the trick, as he feels himself sink into Castiel’s hold, every wound up muscle he didn't realize he had practically melting against Cas's touch.

A deafening clap of thunder rings from outside, accompanied by a bright flash of white lightning. It doesn't take long after that for them to hear raindrops hitting hard against the beaten-up metal roof of the barn, the torrential rain pouring through the gaps and doing quick work of soaking the two.

Dean pulls away from Castiel with a weak laugh, shaking his damp hair of the rain and glancing up to Castiel with a dopey smile.

"This you?" He asks Cas, pointing up to the storm that seemed to appear from nowhere.

"I thought it would add to the atmosphere." Castiel jokes with a deadpan expression, though it quickly breaks when Dean cracks up into laughter, shaking his head fondly before pulling Castiel closer to him, burrowing his face into Castiels shoulder and wrapping his arms tight around the angels back.

"Dean, you know I would love nothing more than to give you that life," Castiel tells him as he raises his own arms up to envelop Dean in a hug. "Even if I wasn't a part of it, I want to see you live your life without hunting, without all that fear and responsibilities."

"I don't think you're getting the main part of it, Cas. You said it yourself, my brain was relying on memories of you. It wouldn't be my dream life if you weren't in it, Cas."

"Dean, I... I might not be able to give you a home, or a son of your own. But... If this, if us is something you really want, then I will spend the rest of my life doing what I can to make you happy, Dean."

"I don't need all that stuff to make me happy Cas. The bunker is my home now, and as long as it’s got you and Sammy in it? I'm happy."

The rain continued to pour down on them, the flimsy roof of the barn proving next to no cover from the storm Castiel had created out of thin air. Dean pulled away from Castiel’s embrace slightly to peer up at the roof, wincing as the droplets of water fall into his eyes.

"Uh, Cas? We should probably be heading back now..."

"Right, of course, I almost forgot you can feel the cold..."

"That and, you know, Sams probably gonna think you tried to drown me in a lake once we get back..."

#destiel #destiel fanfic #destiel fanfiction #castiel/dean winchester

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bladekindeyewear · 5 years

Text

Boots Reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 10 - Candy Part 1 again

I was told that finishing the epilogue MAY make me feel better by some with opinions, with some vague hints that the ridiculous start of Candy may have underlying reasons, so now that I’m awake again (though my stomach is roiling a bit again) I’m gonna take another crack at it.

Alright, so I was also hinted that this Candy part ends with a different cliffhanger, so maybe those two will cancel out? That’s my hope anyway.

Reading page 1 again since I didn’t finish the very tail end of it... alright, so WHY IS ROXY CRYING again???? Was she just PRETENDING that she didn’t know it might turn out bad for John if he went at the end of the last one? Was there some weird mind-rewriting going on? Is the crying a symptom of this whole thing potentially being an our!Callie fanfic and she knows what’s being dodged?? Don’t know.

Alright, let’s have him save Gamzee and... is Vriska going to get saved in this version? Or is that descent into the black hole without seeing what happens her well-deserved comeuppance while only the ghost version of Vriska truly figured out how to be happy?

==>

Dirk acknowledges him when he zaps back, but it’s YOUNG Dirk so hopefully there isn’t any stupid Meat stuff going on.

...Yeah, Gamzee immediately being repentant is weird as shit. Maybe he Chucklevoodoo’d Callie into escaping him into this whole candied mess so he could start shit, I dunno. That or this isn’t really Gamzee or someone’s manipulating him or etc etc etc. The hint I got earlier was that if I thought Calliope wanting to bring Gamzee back and everyone just rolling with it was a little out of character, there are “reasons”, so I’m just going through all of this under the assumption that some emotion-manipulating weirdness is going on regardless.

Oh shit, Gamzee’s going to start recounting his character reasons for doing bad stuff in a surface-hope of justification and understanding. All the characters immediately recognize how painfully groanworthy this is going to be.

GAMZEE: AnD sUcH iS wHy I’m GrAbBiNg HoLd Of My RePeNtAnCe As FiRm AnD sErIoUs As I wOuLd A wHoRe’S tItTy!

Yeah, that really encapsulates how “serious” all of this is. And of course, John’s not having any of it.

Yeah, Terezi wouldn’t have any of it either, remotely.

Something feels different, but he can’t put his finger on it.

Hm. The aforementioned manipulation-weirdness?

==>

Okay, so it’s kind of Dirk who notices something different and is cancelling his stupid villain plans, got it.

Volatility of causality, huh?

(I’m going to be going through these parts a little faster than the Meat section, unsurprisingly.)

==>

Okay, Rose and Kanaya, are we gonna cure her substance abuse or--

With all the distance between them lately,

God damnit, have Dirk’s manipulations extended that far OFFSCREEN or is this legitimate character distancing???? Because either is BAD. >:(

Right, now that the plot and “relevance” has been sidelined over to a different timeline, Rose can now breathe easy free of her condition. And whichever parts of her condition were, perhaps, IMPOSED on her. Fuck.

I’m going to try my fucking best to cling to this, hope I can carry on a memory after this is over that DOESN’T imagine Rose trapped in a fucking existential dying villain coma with a hard fucking cutoff that promises nothing is ever coming to resolve it ever. (Or Jade in a somewhat-similar sidelined situation, or Jane doomed to fuck herself over and everyone else too, or...)

What’s slipping away instead is the feeling that any of it mattered at all. Was she insane to be so consumed by such lofty concerns, and is she only beginning to experience clarity today, for the first time in ages?

Yeah, you’re no longer in a timeline of Light and relevance. And that’s not so bad, which is something you never expected to be true given your derision of the concept. Void is pretty goddamn alright.

--Oh right, the illness and substance abuse probably caused plenty of distance between them.

KANAYA: There Was A Feeling I Couldnt Shake That Something Terrible Was Going To Happen To Us KANAYA: Something That Neither Of Us Could Stop KANAYA: A Powerful Outside Force That Would Take You Away From Me KANAYA: And I Couldnt Stop Myself From Thinking That Maybe KANAYA: Maybe That It Would Be For The Best ROSE: Kanaya... KANAYA: I Can Now See That This Is Completely Ridiculous

For some reason, this doesn’t settle my stomach much? It’s clear Andrew wove this in here so that if you read Meat first, you’d be able to acknowledge readily how this diverged in a way the characters kind of recognize, and... I’m not sure what I’m even saying. It’s like there’s hope that this is TRYING to take the bad taste out of my mouth, but I don’t believe it overly much.

ROSE: What a relief, considering that we are both going to be young and magically fit literally forever.

Wait, so they DID find a way to extend their non-ascended friends’ lifespans to practical immortality? Jane’s Life powers? Something else?

==>

yay jade. more extended dave metaphors. calm down stomach.

JADE: i never thought id be thinking of you as my weird nerd friend by the time we were in our twenties

Heheheh.

DAVE: yeah well i never thought youd be like the premiere woo girl on the planet

Had to look up what a “woo girl” was.

Yes Jade go flirt them to death

What she’s planning isn’t a seduction. It’s a public service.

Pff

(And yeah, she’s being pushy but at least she doesn’t go DIRK FAR about it.)

DAVE: its incredible hes driven at least ten people off the site by creating thinly veiled parody accounts of their usernames

Oh my gosh, Karkat’s good enough to ANDREW HUSSIE them?!??? :D

That’s incredible.

Karkat knows damned well what a husband is. He’s been force-fed enough bad movies from Dave to pick up any human euphemism you could name. He still plays dumb sometimes, for comedic effect, to irritate his friends, or simply to avoid a topic of conversation altogether.

Yeah, it was always pretty clear that about HALF of the trolls pretended not to understand something human that they knew about just for comedic effect and they knew it. :)

It would be pretty easy to mistake his reaction for arousal, so it’s understandable that Jade is extremely surprised when Karkat snaps his jaw shut and chomps down on her hand.

PFFFFHahahahah :D

And yep, Jane cancelled her run at Dirk’s direction.

DAVE: lets all just thank whichever christ was responsible for making whatever decision resulted in her deciding not to do that

*nod nod*

JADE: well i hope she gets a better hobby JADE: there are a lot of less ominous things she could do with her time KARKAT: WHAT, LIKE FUCKING HER WAY THROUGH HALF THE POPULATION OF EARTH C?

Jade pinches his ear and twists hard, smiling pleasantly.

JADE: get fucked karkat

Yeah, this is about the level of violence/threat I’d expect from Jade when anyone slut-shames her for perfectly acceptable behavior.

==>

There is almost no crime on Earth C, and so almost no one locks their door.

Huh. I guess post-scarcity might do that.

Alright, we get to see Jane being less of a fuckass.

Dirk was the one person on Earth C who took the state of the locksmith industry with the seriousness it deserved.

Pffff

JAKE: Thats my theory at least. Maybe its tommyrot but i have faith that dirk will be back. After all where is he going to go?

Good question that wasn’t answered in Meat, so of course Jake says it here obliviously.

JAKE: I must admit i am rather half rats at the moment. JANE: You’re what? JAKE: Haha sorry that was a pretty obtuse way of putting it wasnt it. JAKE: What i mean to say is that ive been powdering my hair quite a bit today.

Andrew is SO good at making Jake sound completely incomprehensible.

...Ouch, Jane, don’t drink so hard! D:

The “morbs”??

JAKE: Dirk has that manner about him does he not? JAKE: A way about him that makes you feel like whatever you do as long as it does not involve him it doesnt count for dick.

Yeah, fuck Dirk.

Hm... is the absence of relevance affecting them, or some other manipulation? It’s not just the LACK of Dirk’s manipulation.

JAKE: Except of course for that time when you were under mind control and had me trussed up in your lair as you pontificated villainously about using me as a breeding stud to create a blood lineage for your incumbent corporate space empire.

A fate Dirk seems to agree with, judging by Meat. Let’s sidestep that fucking entirely, thank you.

...yeah, I didn’t expect Jake’s response to be any less oblivious than exactly that.

==>

So why DID Callie bring Gamzee back, anyway? Is there some secret use for him in mind? Was she manipulated into it? Maybe BY Gamzee? Hm.

...alright, priestly with followings. That ain’t good. Is he aiming for Clown President MK2?

Everything Callie and Roxy have done and said in this Candy section so far seems creepily contrived, possibly by design.

...okay did they have some kind of weird agreement? Like, “okay John is gonna make his choice, and if he chooses to stay i try dating him instead of you, Callie”??? That’s... no that can’t be it. Roxy’s NEVER acted THIS oblivious before. What’s she playing at?

GAMZEE: mY fUcKiN *gUy*. :o) JOHN: ... GAMZEE: My DuDe AnD mY nInJa AlIkE. GAMZEE: mY *hOrN* dOoOoG. JOHN: ... GAMZEE: mY hOrN tO tHa MoThErFuCkIn DoG. ;o) JOHN: waiter! help!

I’m imagining Gamzee now as a sweaty and homeless, unkempt Guy Fieri.

Yeah, this doesn’t look like it’ll be fun.

==>

...Swifer Eggmop. ¬_¬”

There’s a third member of their social group who definitely hasn’t arrived at the conclusion that his power and influence should be meted out responsibly either. Neither of them speak his name, however. For some reason, it feels like a shadow passing over the sun. A brief spike of pain flickers through Rose’s head, a bolt that strikes between her eyes and splinters out. There is color and light behind it. A vision that tears through the material reality in front of her and gives her a brief glimpse into a parallel reality where things are very different.

Yeah, fuck Dirk.

...Pff. Yeah, Rose WOULD mimic the record-scratch gesture.

Don’t invoke “never seeing Vriska again” like that, you’re really tempting fate.

Heh, Rose is finding some Light in the darkness, wanting to do something that’s meaningful on an expressive level with this Vriskgrub business.

Hm... why is my stomach a little less uneasy?

I sure hope it stays that way.

==>

KARKAT: OH MY GOD, ARE THE MECHANICAL GLUTES ON THAT BILLBOARD ACTUALLY PADDED WITH PLUSH TO MAKE THEM MORE LIFELIKE?

Heck Yes

...Yes, touch the butt, Karkat.

Jade, pouting a bit, glides in between them and uses her Space powers to teleport Dave’s phone out from the center of his traumatized palm and into the pocket of her sweater.

Hm! So she still has teleportation abilities over a limited range even without her Green Sun boost, that’s nice. :D

After all, where would these two pitiful beta boys be without her?

Oh my fucking god stop being Dirk, Jade. And never use that narrative language again, even in your head. Heck, even if Dirk’s the one WRITING this still, don’t even think CLOSE enough to think those words.

...yeah this sounds like an Active player class taking things slightly too far.

Thank you, Karkat, for drawing the consent-line in the sand. Looks like Jade’s backing off a little.

--hold on, wait, Dave kissed him? He did, so why is-- let me read back up--

Dave doesn’t answer. She answers for him by leaning down and planting a dry, affectionate kiss on Karkat’s cheek.

Okay I misread this line earlier. Jade kissed Karkat when neither of them were looking and is BLAMING Dave. Hmm.

Alright, Dave ollies outie. Karkat tumbles down some hillstairs.

Jade could probably catch him. Actually, she could easily do it, but it doesn’t seem like the kind of favor you should do in a fledgling kismesissitude.

Thaaaat’s a little presumptuous??

JADE: well i guess im eating grub spaghetti alone JADE: *again*!!!

I’d be sadder if you didn’t bring it down hard upon yourself but

==>

Yeah, John, better clear up this Callie business because it’s muddy as heck why Roxy would just drop everything to try things out with you.

Ah, we’re bringing up the gender identity thing on this side too, hm?

More serious talk, this is good, reading reading...

The glasses clink together clumsily, and water gets all over the complimentary breadsticks.

Oh no. This had better not be Olive Garden.

ROXY: no one else has ever made me feel like this

--not Calliope???

What the heck is even going on.

Dave’s coming for some bro help it looks like.

==>

It’s hilarious how much Dave is freaking out about this, and how completely in-character it is.

JOHN: holy fucking shit. JOHN: there’s a gay snooze button? DAVE: yeah man theres a gay snooze button JOHN: wow.

I love these two’s conversations

......wait, Dave’s been holding off on kissing Karkat because of what he thinks JADE might think???? D:

JOHN: i almost managed to forget that she was trying to fuck you and karkat.

Pfffffffff :D

Yep. I love it being put so bluntly.

Reading on... yeah, for some reason I also always figured that the end result of a nice three-way relationship between those three people would be Jade and Dave essentially both just glomming onto Karkat more than each other? Hm.

JOHN: i mean... it doesn’t sound... JOHN: *canon*?

...I hope you’re just talking about his coin flip explanation and not DaveKatJade. >:(

John wonders when talking to Dirk has fixed anything for anyone.

Nod nod.

She grins up at John with shimmering, adoring eyes. They’re reflecting every star in the sky, all for him.

Seriously, what the hell. Is Roxy hypnotized? Putting on an act? A voidy act??

I’m not doubting that Roxy COULD feel that way about John, I’m doubting the suddenness and the way Calliope is being deliberately ignored in the situation, which is so goddamn obvious that JOHN is uncomfortable about it. There’s something seriously strange going on.

It itches at the back of his head, the idea that he might have just fucked up Dave’s entire life.

Alright next post after a bit of breakfast.

#Homestuck #Homestuck Epilogue #Upd8 #Homestuck Liveblog #bladekindeyewear #BlastYoBoots

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rqs902 · 5 years

Text

qcyn ep 10 aka an episode that really made me happy!! but also really made me miss season 1..........

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG WU CHENGZE AND CHEN SIJIAN AND XU FANGZHOU OMGOMGOMG IM SO HAPPY FOR THEM!!!!!! OMGOMGOMG THAT BOTTOM ROW AHHHH I WAS SO SURE THAT CHENGZE WASNT GONNA MAKE IT BUT OMGOMOGMOG YESSS AND THANK GOODNESS SIJIAN OMGGGG YESSSHSHSHS AHHHHHH

phew thank goodness lin mo made it tho, now i feel like there’s not much left for me to do cept wait for this show to end bc im pretty sure thats as far as he’ll get, and im so so relieved he made it to the top 20 thats all i was asking for, i just wanted him to be able to participate in every stage. so now im just excited for when he gets out what mr tyger will do!

man iqiyi really skipping even 14-19 man.....

wowowowow long lost xixi spirit of the knght footage that we never got to see T__T

LOOOOL LONGHAN THE POOR CHILD HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA HIS INTERACTIONS WITH YIXING ARE GOLD

awwwww huaiwei’s feeble “are yall not gonna clap” was so sad... but also i was kinda expecting his fall with the 2 vote restriction bc huaiwei is hilariously fun and everyone likes him, but hes not as much bias material.... lol shi zhan awkwardly stuck between two crying people lol

HAHAHAHHA CHEN SIJIAN ‘why cant we just talk to each other’s face to face’ HAHHAHAHA I LOVE HIM 一點都不說唱 HAHAHHAAH

lol zhenning exposing shi mingze is the content im here for! mingming is the cutest bub omg

LOL WTF IS THIS THIS EDITING IS SO EXTRA HAAHAH

wow a rare zhan yu teardrop mole sighting!!

lol how much u wanna bet it was rigged that the first one was for wenhan from yangyang

aw huaiwei and yueyue....... ok but is he really telling them that they shouldnt go to the hospital if they get third degree burns?? bc as a future healthcare professional im gonna to strongly disagree on that one........ please take care of yourselves and your health first.........

HAHAHHAA I LOVE XIXI AND JUNJIE’S FRIENDSHIP HAHAHAH the fact that sijian was like “lol its junjie” as soon as xixi got called out ....oh my goodness this is the sweetest thing oh my goodness

aw zhenning being so caring towards wang zhe.... but luckily wang zhe did really well in maze :)

i hope we get to see more of these letters in the extra clips.... im waiting for jia yi’s letter to lin mo ;_; i see that mr tyger group hug ahhh also was that lin mo that wenxuan was hugging at the end bc their friendship is really aw too

OH MY GOODNESS IS THAT SUN ZELIN IN A CF/?!?!?!! OMGGGGG MY CHILDDD HAHAHHAHAH OMGGGGG YESSSSS CHEN SIJIAN TOO!!!! WOWWOWOOW AMAZING!!

aw junjie looking for happy for his friends even tho he likely wont make it this round.....

aw shi mingze and zhenning aww look at zhenning rising to the top, he really became people’s one pick after retreat huh hahaha

man this might sound kinda mean (im really not trying to be) but what are the chances jia yi will keep falling and fall out of top 9 so mr tyger can continue as 5.... LOL im sorry i love the child but tbh i dont think being in top 9 will be worth his time as much as being reunited with his favorite geges......

aw poor mingming so nervous.... reminds me of quanzhe from last season that one time iqiyi kept panning to him during elims....

i wonder why there’s a bunch of them missing from the special class / the charity activity this time..... are they all in the hospital again???? like lin mo, jia yi, wenhan.... would zhan yu be with them to watch over lin mo and jia yi?

lol why does bo yuan know the maze choreo, did he learn it in like 30 seconds?? gu landi with his saxophone!!!!!!!!!!!

ok can we pls talk about how ymm is in such disbelief that he went up so much?? i really hope this helps him gain more confidence....... AND OMG HIS SMILEEE

omg chen youwei bringing up yi xiao.... aw this just makes me think of when youwei kept chanting jin fan’s name during the first elims.... and now wang yi and li yuzhi are left watching from below..... omgosh wu chengze is crying so hard.... do you think its bc his bff sun zelin ranked beside him last time but this time..... he’s not gonna be able to continue with him? (omg im just thinking about how sun zelin talked about chengze high-fiving him and going out of his way to wish him good night every night before bed... their friendship is...... so important......) honestly im gonna miss sun zelin and his silly humor and his adorable personality... he recognized he wasnt as skilled but he still tried really hard and dreamed big and im proud of how far he made it!

wait i have a question, if ymm has this many solo stans then who else were they voting for with their second vote if not wen yechen??? MINGMING’S SMILE IS THE MOST PRECIOUS OH MY GOODNESS omg cutting to a crying shi mingze their friendship is so important MINGMING YOU DESERVE THIS

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA YAO MINGMING KEEPING IT REAL HAHAHHAHAHAA SO REAL IM CRYING HAHAHAHAHAHA BO YUAN’S FACE HAHAHA AND THEN YIXING HAHAHHA

wow waiting for them to announce who ranked #1 is just as suspenseful as it was on “all for one” -- aka not suspenseful at all........... ITS WENHAN OK WE GET IT NO ONE THINKS ITS GUAN YUE IM SORRY

lol i just looked up bo yuan’s birthday and hes like 9 months older than lin mo but now that hes eliminated does this make lin mo the oldest trainee on the show.....

omgosh im gonna miss the sound of feng junjie’s voice screaming

omgosh zhan yu helping lin mo lift his box out aw!! aw zhan yu and jia yi working together.... aww them all working together

aw zhenning and shi zhan friendship!!!! LOL THIS IS SO CRINGE HAHAHHAHAHA wow i just realized the S symbol reminds me of a sadder looking yoyo class symbol from “all for one” lolololl

ooo at least we’ll get another junjie ep of YAA!!!! and sun zelin too!!! SHI MINGZE YOYO POWERS/??!!? omg reminds me of bi wenjun ;_; i miss our yoyo prince ;_; omg they reused the puffy suits from last season LOOOLLLL wait but im sorry xixi i cant look at that colorful one without thinking of lou zibo ahhhhhhhhh I MISS ZIBO TOO and qian zhenghao in the tiny alien one omg that was such a iconic moment!!!!! and qin fen in the overblown monster one ahhhh I MISS SEASON ONE IM SORRY I FEEL LIKE ITS LATE ENOUGH IN THIS SEASON THAT I CAN SAY THIS WITHOUT FEELING LIKE IM BEING BIASED BUT SEASON ONE WAS BETTER ---- but i still love many of the kids from this season, its not their fault this season has just been generally more frustrating and less focused on all of their friendships. but season one just seemed generally more enjoyable, fun and lighthearted, yet emotional in a positive manner

LOL theyre all so obviously reading off a script this is pretty funny WHY IS HANYU SO CREEPY HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA

FENG JUNJIE 28 NOOOOO ahhh i thought shi mingze would make it too........ man wang yi 38?? i thought he’d be higher.... man chen sijian’s literally the only rap line trainee left wtf............ wow wang jiayi really dropped so much throughout this show....

wait i wanna hear the full version of shi mingze’s speech, i feel like he mightve said more about his friendship with mingming... i guess now that i think about it, mingze having ranked rather high last time was rather impressive considering iqiyi hasnt given him much time to shine......

ooof ok im kinda hoping 20 will be gu landi or shao haofan bc their vocals really would’ve earned it. omgosh gu landi asking chen tao if he can sit next to him ahhhh so cute

im yao chi praying for gu landi... but i feel like its gonna be chen tao bc freaking wenhan’s “gwi ze” LOL

yep

not surprised

man the audience be sleeping on gu landi’s talent.....

omg this is my new favorite friendship omg gu landi is so supportive towards yao chi im crying....

lol they keep saying the top 9 is 換血 but literally i feel like the only new person is zhenning...????

OH MYGGODNESS DID THEY JSUST CALL FENG JUNJIE IM SSHAKINGN!!! MASD;ALSKD;LAKSD;LK;LS;AKLDK YEASSSSSSSS!!!!!SKJSALDKJSALKYESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS THANK YOU THANK YOU THAKN YOU OH MY GOODNESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS IM SO PSODKALSKDJLAKJDSLK DSALKJSALASD IM IN DISBELIEFASLDKJALK IM LITERALLY CRYING SO HARDR IGHT NWOWWWW AHHHH OMGOMOGMG THIS IS THE BEST NEWS IVE HEARD ALL DAY OMGGGJGGGGGAHHHHHHHHH THNAK GOODNESS AHHHHHHH LAKJSDLAKSDLKL HE CAN STAY WITH XIXI TILL THE END THANK GOODNESS OH MY GOODNESS IM SHAKINGG

hahhahahahhaha fjj: i didnt imagine i would be picked by the old men... yixing: i can tell :) LOOOOL JUNJIE YOUR FACEE HHAHHAHAHAHA

wow today is a such good day wow feng junjie made it wow im so grateful wow this is a great day wow life is great isnt it

ahhh im wu chengze chanting wu zelin sun zelin wu zelin sun zelin

aw lin mo and wenxuan are really so close....

just dont say wenhan LOL

lol the old men really like zhou shiyuan so im not surprised... he does deserve it tho!

oo good for haofan!

honestly they prob made sure the old men didnt pick yechen, zhan yu or bo yuan again... sadly..... but also sad they didnt notice gu landi....... omgosh look at zhan yu pumping his fists in the air even tho he knows its over... this is his “pretending to be mature gege” side, trying to appear positive for his bros... i wanna see lin mo and jia yi’s full thank you speeches and see if they mention his again T_T

WANG JIAYI TELLING HUAIWEI ITS OK TO NOT BE STRONG IS SO IMPORTANT. ahhh hes really a caring friend

oh gosh seeing the top 20 choosing their final songs makes me think back to last season and im getting freaking mack daddy flashbacks and im shuddering in fear LOL “ITS OKAY” WAS AND STILL IS THE SUPERIOR SONG IM SORRY ITS JUST A FACT

LOL THEY TEXT THEM!??! on the bright side, this just reminded me that top 35 will still get to be in ep 11 so yayyy we get another zhan yu stage!!!!!!

lol this earth ad is even more cringey.................. the ending credits.... i see lin yuzhi! and xixi got a cool shot :D im surprised lin mo didnt get any shots haha and that they didnt show mr tyger at all during the hugging portion at the end but oh well i guess.....

tbh this was a minimal lin mo exposure ep but its ok, im still grateful that he got a few random closeups (which is more than i can say for some of the others) and now that hes safely in top 20 i honestly think my work here is done LOL. there’s not much more lin mo fans can do for him. theyve gotten him onto all the stages and i dont think any amount of work will get him into top 9... and ive said before i dont even really want him in top 9 bc id rather he stay with mr tyger and help them stay relevant bc theyll need his help to do so, especially since jia yi will probably make top 9.

(from here is where i go into a rant about season 1 vs season 2.... LOL)

lets be honest, ranking 16 is too low for lin mo to make it lol....... last season the only kid who made top 9 who wasnt already in top 9 by ep 10 was yanjun... and yanjun had been on a steep upward trend leading up to the last ep (lin mo went from 17 to 16... theres minimal momentum there lol) and then bi wenjun going from 12 to 10 was the other surprise. xikan going from 18 to 13 was impressive, but he still wasnt one of the contenders for the 9th spot. i think at the end it was bu fan, qian zhenghao, bi wenjun and you zhangjing right? out of those 4, the lowest ranked in ep 10 was bi wenjun at 12..... so going from 16 up to 9 would be really really unlikely, unless lin mo somehow makes an even greater impression on the audience during the mentor collab stage than yanjun did last year.... which i think will be impossible bc literally the entire audience fell in love with yanjun during the “zero” performance in last season’s ep 11 lol it was crazyyyy.... but anyway i think ive reminisced about last season enough this rant.... can you tell i really miss it? honestly ive tried to stay as positive as i could throughout watching qcyn and i gave iqiyi the benefit of the doubt from the beginning that “oh maybe it just doesnt seem as great as the first season bc we havent gotten to know the kids yet, the show’s just started, we’ll learn to love it later” ---- but we’re on ep 10 now and i just.......... i still dont think i got to know the kids as well as i did last season and its not their fault, theyre not any less lovable kids (some of them i really like!!! more than some of the kids from last season!) but this season’s editing is really just disappointing. i really miss last season and it was honestly so much more enjoyable to watch..... i thought about this the other day, if lin mo had been eliminated during the last round, would i still be watching this show? and i thought about it and i honestly think i would... because i really like some of the other kids like mingming, junjie, xixi, jia yi, guan yue, chen sijian, etc. but i really dont think id be as eager to stay up to date with it. ive fallen behind on yaa and dont even look forward to watching fanafan anymore bc lin mo hasnt been on any of those (no, i dont count the yaa ep he literally only got 1 second of screentime in) these side shows are fun, but not as fun as fanafan from last season. they feature the same kids over and over again (literally yuehua trio was the ONLY kids on fanafan 2 weeks ago and then they were 1/3 of the ep last week too??? and hmm how come there are kids who have been on yaa multiple times yet there are also kids who have never been on it at all???? that’s just so unfair.....) without fanafan from last season, would you zhangjing have made it into top 9?? fanafan was the medium thru which he really showed us how hilarious and fun and lovable and sweet and sassy he was (whereas on the actual show he showed us his true, undeniable talent) and im just here wondering, if qcyn’s fanafan had featured ye ziming half as much as they had featured you zhangjing or his partner in crime yanjun (who both ended up making top 9), would he have at least made top 35? or how about chen sijian and wu zelin? or feng junjie?? or su yuhang?? where would they be now? why hasnt lin mo been on fanafan at all??? if given the chance, would people actually be appreciating zhan yu’s hilariously weird and crazy personality that we NEVER got to see?? sigh..........

OKAY WHERE ARE ALL THE EXTRA CLIPS IMMA FIND YALL

#rants #this one got to be wayyyyyy longer than i expected but.......... im overall just happy for __ and also just forever bitter at iqiyi #ppl who have followed me since season 1 may know that lu dinghao became my second bias because of fanafan #i cant reinforce enough how impprtant of an opportunity it is to be able to be on fanafan #i know the exact ep and moment on fanafan that dinghao and zhangjing became my favs and coincidentally yanjun was there too hmmm hahaha #yea every bit of screentime and every chance u get to show ur personality counts and makes a big difference esp early on in the show #when everyones still choosing their one picks

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freerebelmentality · 7 years

Text

For the love of music

AN: Alright this is the first version that has mentions of characters from another show. Please dont get mad at me for causing such grief with those characters. This is the first part

Word Count: 2,058

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Your nickname: submit What is this? // <![CDATA[ function replaceAll(find, replace, str) { return str.replace(new RegExp(find, 'g'), replace); } function myHandler2() { var input = document.getElementById("inputTxt2").value; document.body.innerHTML = replaceAll('YN/N', document.getElementById("inputTxt2").value, document.body.innerHTML); } // ]]>

Your eye color: submit What is this? // <![CDATA[ function replaceAll(find, replace, str) { return str.replace(new RegExp(find, 'g'), replace); } function myHandler3() { var input = document.getElementById("inputTxt3").value; document.body.innerHTML = replaceAll('Y/E/C', document.getElementById("inputTxt3").value, document.body.innerHTML); } // ]]>

Your hair color: submit What is this? // <![CDATA[ function replaceAll(find, replace, str) { return str.replace(new RegExp(find, 'g'), replace); } function myHandler4() { var input = document.getElementById("inputTxt4").value; document.body.innerHTML = replaceAll('Y/H/C', document.getElementById("inputTxt4").value, document.body.innerHTML); } // ]]>

For days you have been exploring the little town of Charming. Since moving you have made a great deal of friends who lived in your neighbourhood and whom you work with. It was a weekend and you wanted to check out the little cafe that had a patio out front.

“What can I get you to drink?” The cashier asks putting on a fake smile.

You already knew she was having a bad day and didnt want to complicate your order. Luckily the place wasnt that busy either which is a good thing for the both of you. She looked as though she wanted to get away from the till and you just wanted a nice quiet place to read.

“I’ll have the medium roast” You reply while she gives you a genuine smile and places the order for you.

You hand her the money and something extra while she mouths her thanks. You see an empty arm chair by the window and seat yourself as you pull out your book. The cashier turns on the music and thankfully its classical music. Something you have always loved. Its a favourite by Mozart.

“I got to stop here and pick up some coffee. Ran out this morning” Chibs says to his VP while the others follow Jax back to the club after doing some business.

As soon he parked his bike and turned it off is when he saw you sitting in front of him really. He walked into the cafe, his eyes still locked on you while he makes his way to the counter.

“Hey Chibs” The cashier greets the man that comes into the cafe.

You look up from your book and see him. He looked like the type your father told you to stay away from, like the authors depicted as the bad boy or even at times. The villain. Aside from that there was something about him that got your attention, it wasnt the kutte he was wearing or the tattoos that were visible to you but something special.

“Aye Lass. How is yer day” He asks before making his order

“Not so great, a few customers being complete douche bags and after that just been messing up orders all day” The cashier tells him

“The day is almost over. Ye come across pricks again just add in salt in their coffees, they wont know a difference” He says while making the cashier smile and laugh.

You liked the fact he made someone feel better about the day.

“Thanks, the usual?” She asks while getting the cup ready.

“Aye and my special blend” He says while taking his wallet out but the cashier waves it off.

“If I cant pay then I will tip” He says while smiling to her.

You melted at the sound of his voice, his accent, his charm and wondered what else could be unveiled.

“Whose the lass by the window?” He asks leaning on the counter whispering into the cashiers ear.

“I have no idea, she seems nice and she tipped me too” She says with a shrug and a smile.

“I better get going. See ye love” He says to her and looks to you toasting to coffee while you nod.

For the past few weeks Chibs has been seeing you all over town. From the cafe to the grocery store, book store and out of a music store. He got curious in what type of music you listened to, what types of books you read. Everything about you made him curious.

Until one day you came into the shop, your car was giving you trouble and you tried fixing it yourself but after a while would break down again. Your brother and dad taught you everything about cars but you couldnt work on it because everything still hurt.

Chibs sees the prospect walk towards you and ask what was wrong with your car until he came walking out of the garage.

“Its alright, I can take care of er” The man with the beautiful accent says while the younger looking man walked away from you.

“What seems to be the problem?” He asks looking at you and the eyeing the car

“Well my car has been acting up, radiator has been over heating and giving me a hard after trying to fix it myself. If its not the radiator then its the fuel line, oil leaks out to quickly and I forgot how to fix that” You tell the man while he eye balls your car.

“Let me guess. 1967 Cheverolet Impala?” He asks in a wide smile

“Yeah” You simply answer while feeling nervous

“I can take care of that for ye but its going to be a few days. Old car, parts hard to find” He says while writing up everything you have told him about the car.

“Whats yer name?” He asks while putting the pen away

“Y/n. Yours?” You ask trying to calm your nerves.

“Filip but you can call me Chibs” He answers as he takes out his hand for you to shake which you do right away.

“Ok. Filip” You say while shaking his hand, he looks to you with a faint smile on his face by the name you have called him.

“Do ye have any where else to be?” He asks in hopes you would stay a bit longer.

“Yeah, I need to be at work and I have someone picking me up” You tell him while looking to your watch

“Ye want a drink?” He asks while pointing to the club house

“Sure, I wouldnt mind a drink after the stress the car has been giving me” You reply with a smile on your face.

“Let me send a quick text to my friend and tell her where I’ll be waiting when she gets here” You tell him while you bring out your phone to send out a quick text.

Once inside is when he introduces you to his brothers. Bobby, Happy, Juice, and Kozik. Tig, Clay and Jax were out on club business. You enjoyed their company while Chibs talked about your car and how the others marvelled about the classic car.

“You have any family living here why you moved to Charming?” Bobby asks getting to know a little bit more about you.

“Nah, family I had left are gone. Accident gone wrong while on the job” Is all you say while they tell you their condolences.

“What kind of accident?” Juice asks looking to you.

You didnt want to answer until you heard your name being called and thankfully its your friend coming to pick you up for work.

“It was nice meeting you boys. Filip, thanks for the drinks and hopefully to see you all soon” You tell them as you get up.

“Before ye go, would ye like to go out for dinner with me?” Chibs asks before you walk out the door

“Well you have all my info. Call me” You tell him and walk out with your friend.

You walk out and get into her truck. While she drives away from the auto shop is when she asked how you met him. You explained the meet was fairly recent and she started to tell you about the guys being a motorcycle gang and the bad stuff that came with their business. You didnt think it was bad considering what you used to do for a living. You thought they were completely innocent with breaking the law.

You saw the nightmares of the world, the nightmares anyone didnt know existed and to finish it all off. Your brothers did the unthinkable, fighting to close the gates of hell right up until they died and when it was all over your brothers made you promise that you would go on and live an apple pie life. What ever that meant.

“What else do you know about her?” Juice asks looking to Chibs

“I know she likes to read and listen to music” He simply answers after finishing off his beer.

“Thats it?” He asks in complete shock

“Well I didnt have the time to stop her and ask all these questions. I know just as much as ye know” He says while getting up from the stool and walking out the door to get started on working on your car.

You were right about the problems you are having with the car and he needed to replace the radiator, fuel and oil line. He checked the entire car to see what else needed to be fixed, he turns on the engine and she roared to life minus noises coming from the radiator. He noticed a rattling noise coming from the vents of the car and wondered why you never said anything about that.

He had a feeling the rattling was something special and he left it alone. He moved around to see if he can spot anything that will give him something about you. He lifted the fabric in the backseat and noticed three sets of initials. D.W, S.W, Y/I.W. He smiled at yours but once he saw the other two is when his heart sank when he remembered ‘Family I had left are gone’

He finally realized how special the car is to you and he didnt touch anything on the inside but worked on the outside of the car. He got on the phone and ordered the parts you needed and got extras for just in case another break down were to occur.

Juice did some digging about you and what he found was something that disturbed him a little but later found out why you didnt want to talk about your family. They had gotten into a car crash that eventually killed your dad along with your brothers but leaving you to walk away with very little injury.

You made your friend change the records who worked with the FBI, leaving your records open. He needed to tell Chibs what he has found on you.

“Rat, go get Chibs for me” Juice says while he walks out the door and finds him in the garage working on your car.

“What is it Juicey?” Chibs asks once he sees him sitting in front of his lap top.

“I looked in y/n. I couldnt help it but I found a few disturbing things” Juice says while turning his laptop towards Chibs so that he could get a better look.

“Grave desecration, breaking and entering, suspect in multiple homicides, credit card fraud and three counts of first degree murder” Chibs reads out the record you have wrapped up. Its as bad as your brothers Deans.

“Jesus” Is all Bobby says while looking to his brothers.

“All acquitted” Juice adds while looking to Chibs wondering if he should worry about him getting involved with you.

“Should we worry?” Juice asks looking to Chibs

“You think we are innocent?” Happy asks looking between Chibs and Juice

“But this is some gruesome shit” Juice says pointing to the laptop screen.

“What about a D Winchester and a S Winchester?” Chibs asks in a hushed tone

“I can look that up right now” Juice says while typing in the initial and last name.

A bigger wrap sheet pulled up for your brother Dean and a not so bad looking one for Sam.

“Dean Winchester, deceased. Brother of Sam and Y/n Winchester. Children of John and Mary Winchester. All of which deceased” Juice says while looking further into his record.

“Jesus fucking Christ, she wasnt lying about that” Kozik says while finishing off his beer.

“Her brother Dean is just as bad but worse. His was never acquitted. He was wanted in Missouri and just like y/n wanted in Arkansas along with their brother Sam” Juice continues on reading about your brothers.

“What charter they from?” Bobby asks looking to Juice

“None” Juice answers him

Chibs walks out of the club house wondering what you have been hiding. He couldnt just ask you randomly because he just met you and he didnt want to cancel out on the date either. Something was pulling him towards you. He went back into the garage and continued working on your car. He sees the trunk and decided he was going to look into it once its closing time and everyone goes home.

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mujuras · 7 years

Text

who is he

i went to go see this man. i dont remember who he was exactly, but it was some kind of... event? other people were there.

i looked like shit, wearing my dingy void hoodie. i was pretty self-concious, but i didnt leave. He wasnt the only important person there, i think. the event was bigger than him. I say this because when we (the attendees) went inside the venue (looked like.. a big gray warehouse, but with big windows? it was basically a few tables n some chairs and a lot of fuckin people), we were asked to write down a wish on some slip of paper, and i knew this had nothing to do with him. i cant even remember this fucker’s name but i knew he wasnt involved with this wish stuff.

I begin writing down my wish, and it takes a long time for some reason. i was aware the amount of time i spent writing it was completely absurd. and my handwriting fucking SUCKED. Anyway, i write down my wish, and it is actually realistic. Realistic in the sense that it is the one thing I want most in the waking world, and not more dream nonsense.

I wish to do well in the MLS program, graduate, and lead a happy life with Brad.

So like theres this wish jar that we had to put them in. I dont fuckin get it. Were they going read them out loud? Were they just stockpiling people’s wishes? who is this wish agency? Even while I was dreaming, I did not have any automatic knowledgecontext of this wish crap. I had no clue what the point of this was. And even though the wish crap wasn’t because of him, The Man was kind of hanging around that table, chatting with people. The event hadnt started yet, so I guess he needed something to do. He saw me taking too much time to write, and i felt like SUCH an ass.

Anyway, I put my wish in the jar, and as is the want of my dreams, things go from 0 to 100 real fucking quick. And by that i mean a chainsaw-wielding murderer busts into the venue. People are running around trying to escape, and in the chaos of all the people rushing past me, I fall on my ass next to a chair. I should point out that they were the chairs we used in orchestra back in the day. I cant find a picture on the internet but they are big and sturdy.

The Man runs a little bit past me and trips.

“_______!” I yell out his name, but I can’t for the life of me remember what the hell it was.

The chainsaw guy reaches me, and brandishes his weapon above his head, about to bring it down on me. But i am quick on the draw and block his attack with the orchestra-type chair that was next to me. It took a long time for the chainsaw to cut through it, and I remember thinking, “shouldnt it be cutting faster? is this how its supposed to be?” eventually he cuts through the entire chair, but I am not defeated because i start motherfucking DUAL WIELDING the two halves of this chair. I am as badass as badass can be, clearly.

I defeat chainsaw guy (somehow.. that part is fuzzy), and The Man and i are the only ones left in the venue. Everyone else escaped, I Guess. We dont have time to talk because even though the dream is already at 100, the numbers keep climbing. And by that I mean two secret agent-type people take us away into their agentmobile.

I can’t remember what they looked like, but they were very familiar to me. It was dream deja vu. I saw alternate versions of myself who looked so different being approached by them and doing whatever secrety stuff they do. And... it didnt feel like new information. it felt like I remembered past dreams they were in.

As they briefed us on the situation (i do not remember what the hell the situation was), I looked over at The Man, who was in the backseat next to me. He was hanging his head, looking completely downcast. I put my hand on his shoulder to console him, but i cant remember if i said anything to him or not.

Although i do not know what the situation was, it called for me changing how i looked. I was pretty chill about it, because i was like “ah yes, i remember this from my alternate dream selves. this is what happens with these guys” I had to change my hair color and how i dressed because I needed to change my identity, in order to lay low, i think. And we started doing this while... in the car? I started to take off my void hoodie in the car, at least. It felt like a Big Deal for some reason. also I kind of got caught in the hoodie and took way too long to take it off. I finally got it off shortly we arrived at the Organization’s HQ, but the agents didnt wait for me (The Man did, how nice of him) and just walked in on their own. The man and I walked in shortly after, but i was kind of worried. I was like “uhh does the organization know that we’re supposed to be here? are they gonna let us in or are they just gonna kill us” but they let us in.

More briefing (still no clue) and The Man and I were given some job to do, but who fucking knows what that was. The Man was just sort of...There at that point tbh. This is where my memory goes completely hazy so i guess Thats It.

#currently wearing my void hoodie as well.#why do my dreams influence my fashion choices so much this is stupid

0 notes

idkitshiro · 7 years

Text

Mar.11 ,2017 2:23 pm

as im trying to looking forward, a part of me is whispering failure.. can I make something, something beautiful, something inspiring, encouraging? to spread a heartfelt smile on somebody’s face, reassuring whoever is behind their computer screen there is reason, no matter how stupid or small it is, to laugh or smile. I want to remind people how video games are really meant to be played, what creates the pro environment and competition in the first place, showing them how to have fun with their video games, showing them how to enjoy spending their free time so that its at least not wasted. If I can leave at least one thing to take away and let people know they feel reassured, loved, supported, not alone then all the time I put into the videos im making have been worth my time. Acts of kindness, sportsmanship good cheer. Make them feel like holy crap this makes me want to play this game

Here i go as I just write down whatever im thinking about:

some of the funnest games I really enjoyed playing as a kid: Super Smash bros melee: at first had all my favorite characters from different games EVER , kirby, pikachu, mario, all these nintendo characters like Link, Fire emblem’s marth and roy, so much variety Pokemon: such a fun adventure, not having much access to the internet , the world was magical, every corner was a new surprise. There were random Pokeballs on the floor, instances where your in game rival would show up and challenge you to a battle with his own unique pokemon. the pokemon I had felt unique, the team I had felt special and I bonded with these pokemon. I didnt have in mind what my friends or any one else who also played the video game what strategies or pokemon they thought were good and were their own personal favorite. The competition element fair and exciting because there weren’t many popular guides or communities and forums that people were aware of. Internet spoiled the fun because it exposed many of the surprises and secrets of the game. It almost was as if there was a person sitting next to me telling me how they already beat the game, caught all 150 pokemon telling me which pokemon were trash and not worth my time, the perfect IVs and proper way of how to make the strongest team possible. Though they may be right it totally killed my joy for the game, stripping of the surprise and wonder element video games used to hold as this now apple is to almost every other video game. and altho the right answer is to not focus and compare my self to the people surrounding me its like someone standing right behind me saying video games are FAKE, WASTE OF TIME. So spending my free time trying to Man people need to pay less attention to how others are spending their time playing video games. MANNN you’re winning if you’re enjoying your time having fun whether kicking ass, accomplishing a hard puzzle or challenge, discover something rare on your own again i guess thats added to your personal merit, get a good laugh, listening to good music, reminds you of something important to you whether its through story telling and the music, whether its learning more about experiences and other people around you. Theres so much video games could teach you, what you could learn from. like many other hobbies or people like to do on their spare time, video games are another outlet of creating happy memories, memories that could be shared with the people we love. I find my self exploring all these different video games to try and remember why I fell in love with video games when I was a lot younger. What made it so exciting and fun, and when I let something else rob me of that joy. I remember when I was in elementary school my brother and I had our own Gameboy Colors. I had purple one given from my Auntie and my brother had a neon Green gameboy color that was given from our grandpa’s brother, i guess granduncle. Both of us had our seperate Pokemon version where Pokemon Red was my first video game ever and my brother had Pokemon Yellow. anyways my mom would only allow us to play for an hour or two a day and I just remember my sister wanting to play pokemon too and so I let her play mine, and althouhg i wasnt playing I really enjoyed watching them just play. I felt so happy that we were all able to play together even if I was just watching my brother thumb through his starting Pokemon team in Saffron city. Idk why thats so vivid. We had to share alot things growing up, rooms, 1 hour turns on the computer, hand me down clothes, Gamecube turns. i remember i bought a tv plugin game which was star wars/ spongebob that didnt need a console. it had 5 games in it , but crowding around the small tv in me and my brothers room playing video games together.. i miss that so much. i just wanted us to get along and have fun.

god i always hear people saying that their entire life they were losers and the bullied kid, but did they ever have a fanny pack with 100 calorie Special K bars on 1,000 diet imitating their favorite Taijustus specialist? (Rock Lee Image) I used to be obssesed with my eating only 1,000 calories a day because I was pretty chunky in middle school. One time in PE we had to do our quarterly mile run and I remember always dreading these big days. Every week we had to run around the track for 20 minutes, no walking, and see how many laps you could run in that time. We were graded on how many laps we could run, 6 laps was D , 7 Laps was a C , 8 Laps was a B, 9 and more was an A. I dreaded every single week for these 20 minute runs, but I celebrated super heavily after it we were done. I was always super nervous and anxious thinking about these days because I always forced myself to do my absolute best. I hated the thought of competing with the people next to me. I used to run 10 laps and my best being 11 laps, which I thought was insanely good. The fastest was I think 12 or 13 laps but they werent in my class. I suppose I felt proud of what I accomplished, my classmates thought I was fast. I would wear shorts everyday in middle school. In 4th and 5th grade I used to run 3 miles every day in the summer with my grandpa and sometimes my sister because I came home one day from a a Dr.’s Checkup saying that my cholesterol was pretty high. Seperate from my school’s 5k I only entered one 5k run with my grandpa who did the 7k run. I felt horrible because I was just overweight and I didnt find myself that attractive. God, especially when your older brother was more handsome had abs and biceps since 5th grade. ashjdkasld yeah this is where my self esteem issues come from, but anyways, I was complimented on my buldgy calves. They were pretty big, for a big boy like my self. I remember one time when runnign the 20 minute run I always thought about falling over and getting hurt so I didnt have to run, mentally I wanted to just stop myself from pushing my body. ashdbjnka My best mile time was 5:37 by the way. When it was raining and they made us stay inside our school’s gym, playing dodgeball. I WAS SO HAPPY. I would pray that it would rain enough so that the track would be too wet where we all the PE classes would have to walk around the basketball quarts and then the other half o the class would have to play basketball. I WAS ALWAYS SUPER EXCITED. Those were the best days regular days of school. of course not more exciting than Game days, honor-roll Bingo , or field trips of course AHAHA One time I brought I red chocolate balls that I got from people standing in front of safeway that were wrapped neatly in this plastic bag. I gave some to my friends before we ran, thinking wow we could be just like Choji and his ration pellets. Jesus. It was just concentrated choclate balls of sugar. -- It was pretty good tho. Middle school was awesome. I did whatever I wanted no matter how uncool people thought it was. I thought that just doing what I loved was the coolest thing ever. I used to read the Shonen Jump manga magazines and I was reading the YugiOh Gx weekly chapter and Jesus H. christ it looked so fun. The next day I talked to my friend who was fanatic about Yugioh and he helped me create a deck. The next two years FUHHHH our whole friend group was playing yugioh. It felt like some anime, going home editing decks, dueling in my friends garage drinking cans of Dr. Pepper and honey Twisted BBQ chips. Playing some Halo 3 and Pokemon Stadium 2 on the side. IT WAS SO FUN. When we would have a party in class or potluck I’d get 4 cups of Pepsi, Plateful of Doritos , Lays and Hot cheetos and my friends and I would whip out our decks. Living the life. At the time the Wii , xbox 360 and itouch were very popular. I didnt have a smart phone til the end of my high school and wasnt until my freshman year in high school that I bought my own prepaid phone and minutes and texting plans. anyways the only console my brother and sister i had was teh game cube so these consoles were treasures whenever I would go over to my friends house after school. there was also this one time in middle school where our homeroom teacher allowed 4 people from our AVID class, and at the time I thought AVID students were the smartest collection of indivuals in our school, to go around campus picking up recyables such as cans and bottles so we could sell and add to our class field trip fundraiser. At first our teacher assigned us only 10 minutes and expected us to comeback. 10 minutes of missing class was amazing. My group of friends and I felt so free, so powerful, passing the doors of other classrooms and students, walking where we shouldnt be. And when we would comeback she would reward us with homemade cookies. HOLY, our teacher was so kind. I cant remember if this was a daily thing, but we did this each time we had class. But every time we would come back deliberatly a little later. From intially 10 minutes we started coming back 15 minutes later, then 20. And I kid you not we started going out “recycling” for the entire class period which was about 50 minutes. IT WAS AMAZING. And we may had been in middle school, but we werent dumb. We were AVID students. Advancement via indpendent determination. We were the futures most brightest, up and coming. So we were thinking if we could somehow find more cans and bottles to fill up our garbage bags itd be more than enough reason to explain why we were coming back later than we were orginally suppose to. So initally we would invite ourselves to other classrooms tell the teacher ‘we’re reclying, dw , were supposed to be here’ and go through their blue bins and take whatever cans and bottles we can add it to our bags. Then we started looking at the larger reclye bins in the shcools court yard and just take all the bottles in their. Realistically it took no more than 5 minutes to fill a garbage bag filled with cans and bottles, but we would spend the rest of our vacation racing each other on our school’s track and kick each other on the school’s monkey bars. Jesus. it was so fun. my life feels pretty defeated right now, so I just wanted to share with

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