#watchdogs wonder if peepers finally got a date

[ultravioart]

Hm.... very ridiculous deathglare idea (not intended in any au, probably just a one off fic idea or something, takes place before Dominator appears)

Hater is constantly complaining about tfw no gf so badly that it is getting in the way of evil plans and planetary conquest. Hater is in a lonely hearts club slump and the usual night ride isn't fixing it. Peepers gets fed up with Hater's immature theatrics (oh what does a girl have that I don't!!--wait), so he thinks up a plan: text Hater pretending to be a random girl, have 'her' say he's the greatest and whatnot, and once Hater's ego is filled Hater will shrug off the girl, and he'll be back to his evil old self in no time!

(This idea is inspired by the date, where once Hater has 'girls fawning' over him, he blows them off to bask in his awesomeness lol) But the plan does not work out like that, and they end up texting each other like little idiots LOL

I know it's a bit mean, but the two of them ARE acting like evil bad guys and karma DOES bite, so this idea is still is pretty ripe with humor and plenty of cute moments, I think.

For example, like how it gets to the point where Peepers has to mute the alt phone during meetings bc Hater is texting so many heart emojis it's going to blow cover bc Peepers is so happy lmao And YOU BETCHA Peepers is secretly loving the LARP roleplay of having Hater as a long-distance boyfriend, being the overworked and underappreciated genius character just waiting to be whisked away to a pampered life by Lord Hater's side. Eventually, Peepers starts to act a bit less of the "conceited stereotype of what a girl is" character and more so just texting as himself with hater. And it's really cute, they have so much in common. Hater picks up on that and says she's not what he thought a girl would be like. ..."tomboy" huh? Hot.(frantically backspaces) Cool.

And then Hater brags about any new gf texts he gets with Peepers, and Peepers can't help but sneak a smile bc hehe that's all because of me (you little creep!) There's probably something about how her name is Tammie or some valley girl name like that, and she works long hours/there's a time zone difference so that's why she doesn't text back immediately, --because she's TOTALLY into Hater, and Hater says he would have it so she'd never have to work and he'd buy her everything she wanted because she's so cool and pretty(has not seen a single picture of her), and there's stuff about how her boss never listens to her which Hater thinks so stupid because she's so smart and stuff her boss must be so stupid (insert Peepers eyeroll), and how she's too shy to send a selfie--but she's not ugly she swears!!!! (Insert shy high heel boot pictures with "what do you think?" LOL) Probably the most cringe inducing text message history ever, but Peepers loves all the attention, and so does Hater. The Hater Empire's plans start slowing down a bit, and the two spend nearly all their free time texting each other. Conquering becomes something to speed through so they can get back to texting where Hater brags about his new win to his beloved long distance and mysterious ladylove. It isn't until Peepers finds himself actually wanting lovey dovey texts over galactic takeover that Peepers wakes up and is like "oh. oh no. I've fallen too deep!" and tries to get Hater to dislike this "girl" character he's created WITHOUT breaking Lord Hater's poor heart. (>Ruthlessly leaves him on read like Hater did to Peepers in 'the cool guy' LOL) But instead of deterring it gets worse as Hater thinks now she's REALLY playing "hard to get" and Hater is more invested than ever. Things continue and eventually Peepers realizes he has to be forward. Even though Peepers knows (or well, assumes) Hater doesn't like boys, a little bit of Peepers is hopeful as Peepers goes to put the final nail in the coffin. The character admits she's actually a boy pretending to be a girl, so Hater would like him. And it ends, promptly. Peepers is saddened but relieved (finally they can get back to conquering), and Hater is shocked and appalled (HE WAS LIED TO??!??!)! Later on Hater is raging to Peepers and Peepers is gloomy and defeated as he explains what catfishing is and Hater vows to never online date again (well, at least Peepers eliminated that threat), Hater rages that has to SEE the date's face in person otherwise no go, blah blah blah... Peepers gets back to evil planning as Hater rants on, finding himself wistful... Oh, one of these days, Hater would see him as something more, even if it wasn't in a "date me" way he'd see Peepers could give him everything a girl could and SO MUCH more! Peepers just had to work really hard, and stick to the plan, and get Lord Hater to the top of the evil leader boards! If Peepers made Hater #1, Hater would have no choice but to treasure him, the man who got him to the top and gave him the entire universe! And then they could share it together and-- Hater ends his rant with an annoyed "I mean, if he was honest from the start then it could have worked out!" Peepers promptly chokes on his own spit.