#wawawawa i go sleep now

[master-xochimilli]

Thinking about my sweet boy as I get ready to sleep as always, his pretty face, his cute smile, the way their hair falls on and around her face as it always does. The way her eyes have the same color as a shimmering river in the middle of the day in late June. How pretty and soft looking his lips seem, I wanna kiss him soo so badly. Run my fingers through their hair, across his face, caress his entire body. Fuck fuck fuck I am genuinely so in love with him !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lovelypersona]

wawawawa one more kiss with goro?

A/N: Half of my requests are Akira and yknow that’s valid but I love Goro ....... I also love maruki if anyone’s interested in sending me requests for him, hoo hoo!

Don’t let the title fool you, this is angst. P5/P5R spoilers!!! Major P5R spoilers, for real.

Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go! (Cause I’m Not Planning on Going Solo)

One of the worst days of your life so far was learning about Goro’s disappearance. And this was because you knew that, most likely, he didn’t disappear at all— it’s more likely that he was actually dead. And that thought... crushed you.

Your relationship with the highschool detective wasn’t much, but you held it dear in your heart. Goro wasn’t going to let anyone in, not even you- but he gave you an inch more than he gave others. He let you see him without all the makeup and dress up, and every so often, his true personality would break through and you’d get to see the real Goro Akechi.

The Goro Akechi that was essentially trapped behind the bars of his own fate, and he knew it, too.

So when you learned about his disappearance, you felt... a deep, unrestrained dread. It flooded through you and took over your mind- the grief of losing him was genuine and harmful. Yes, you loved him- you loved him as much as you could with what he gave you. But that was the end of it. Because he’s gone now, and now you can never get him back and truly learn everything there was to know about him.

That’s what should of happened, at least.

Instead, a new year begins on January 1st, and you awaken with a lighter feeling on your chest than you remember. You feel good, honestly- and the first thing you think of as you get dressed and ready for the day is how you have a coffee date with Goro.

Your beating, loving heart leads you to Le Blanc, and the world turns sideways once again.

The world... is cruel. It has been turned sideways so many times that it’s hard to tell which side was truly upright anymore. Goro is the same as before- but he isn’t, at the same time. He is unashamedly himself- which is not at all like he was before. Before, it took you months of carefully picking apart the tears in his walls to get even a glimpse of who Goro really is. And now? It’s like all that effort was either wasted or finally recognized as he becomes someone else entirely.

Nonetheless, he follows you home after everything you learn. It’s strange, but you welcome it.

The two of you seem to live together after that. And it’s very strange- because here you were, in an alternate reality with your dreams coming true just to see your friend again and simply go on a date with him. But that dream was thrown in the dirt and replaced with a new dream. A dream where you actually live with Goro, talk with him and help his injuries when he comes back from fighting against the twisted world you now live in.

You like this better than the dream that was cooked up for you. Because this is real- and that makes it so much more satisfying.

———

At night, you sleep in your room and Goro sleeps on the futon in the living room. It’s been an arrangement that’s went well the past month, but it breaks on the second of February when Goro enters your room as you’re preparing for bed.

“Is something wrong?” You ask him, because his behavior was unusual and his stance was stiff as he stands in your doorway.

“I need to tell you something,” is all he says.

You sit up in your bed, resting against the bed frame as you look toward him and his tired eyes, his stressed features that never seem to leave his face. You silently pat the bed as an invitation for him to sit beside you - and surprisingly enough, he takes the offer. He sits on the very edge of the mattress, and you notice he’s still wearing his scarf and coat from when he went to talk with Akira and Maruki.

Scooting forward just an inch, you place your hands gently on his shoulders. He jumps at first and then looks at you strangely as you tug and remove his scarf. “You probably shouldn’t sleep in your winter clothes,” you smile at him and fold the scarf, setting it on your nightstand. “But what is it that you need to tell me? Did Maruki say something?”

Goro hums, working on removing his coat and setting it gently on the floor as he thinks. “Not really. Not anything I don’t already know. We should be ready to end this now.” But there’s a far off look in his eyes that tells you that maybe - maybe - he’s not as ready as he would like to be. “Besides that, you need to know something before everything goes back to normal.”

“I’m listening.”

Goro frowns, scoffs, and then begrudgingly leans against the bed frame as you are. “I won’t be around after this is over. Chances are that I’m not even really alive- that I died awhile ago. And that will be the reality we’re going back to once we change Maruki’s heart.”

He says it so simply. Without much emotion in his voice- as if he were just stating an ordinary fact that wasn’t that interesting. You stare at him silently- and quite suddenly you remember that anguish from before.

The grief from when he died the first time. You’re not sure you can live through that again, especially after having these new memories made with Goro now.

...But you know that hesitation and sympathy isn’t what he wants.

“...I see.” You say, playing with your fingers in your lap. The detective sighs.

“You, too?” You look back up at him, seeing the agitation across his features. “You’re the same as Akira. Does my life really change anything about this?”

“You’re making a lot of assumptions even though I haven’t really said anything yet, Goro,” you frown at him with a worried twitch in your brow. “I’m going to guess that Akira’s reaction is why you’re upset in the first place.”

He’s the one who is silent this time, averting his eyes from your gaze. You lick your lip nervously as you look at him, your hands twitching- and then you slowly reach forward and grab one of his hands that sits limply at his side.

Goro’s eyes snap to you then, but he doesn’t move his hand away.

“Listen, Goro... I’m not a part of this. I’m not a Persona user- I’m just the normal standby that got mixed up in the mess. Nothing I say will change what you need to do.” You move your thumb gently across his palm as you speak. “I lived through your death once already. I know nothing I will say will change your mind, and I’m not going to try. But is it really so awful that once you’re gone, I’ll miss you?” You look back up to his eyes. “Because I will, no matter what. ...I’m going to miss you a lot, Goro.”

Goro’s mouth opens, but no words come out. The two of you just look at eachother in the silence before he closes his mouth, eyebrows twitching as his hand gently squeezes yours. “I suppose I can’t control that.”

You smile at him. “You really can’t.”

“Then, if it’s alright with you,” the detective mumbles, “I think... I’d like to sleep here. With you. For tonight.” It comes out in an awkward mess, but at least he got it out. You smile wider as you nod, and you tell him, yes, of course you can sleep here.

Even now, he still has a barrier around him as he dresses for bed and slips under the covers with you. It’s obvious that he doesn’t know how to let that barrier fully go, even in a reality where he’s allowed to be himself and be free. But you help him, just as you always have, as you turn off the lights and scoot closer to him in the darkness. Your hand finds his again and holds it tightly.

“Wake me up before you leave,” you whisper to him. He promises you that he will.

And when the early hour finally rises and Goro awakens, you’re wrapped snuggly around his body in a way he’s never experienced before. It’s warm, and even though his body might not be real, he can still feel his heart beat and his skin tingle from morning chills. And just as he promised, he wakes you up once he’s dressed and prepared himself to go.

As you lay in your bed, disoriented from sleep with your eyes droopy and your hair a mess, you look at him so adoringly as you reach up and cup his cheek. Goro can see how you’re looking at every inch of his face- you’re sleepy, yes, but you’re also aware this is the last you’ll see of him.

“Goro,” you mumble. “Kiss me.”

He does. He leans forward and bends down so he can hold your face and run fingers through your hair as he kisses you as gently as he’s able. You smile as he kisses you, and that alone makes his stomach do a flip as you pull away and look at him with those loving eyes again. Then they slowly, slowly close, and Goro lets himself watch in the silence of the morning as your body dozes off again and your hands on his shoulder and face drop down. He tucks your arms under the covers, and with one last look at you, he stands back up and leaves your apartment.