#wc:1707

[rkxric]

➜ EVENT: star bright casting ➜ LOCATION: park hyatt hotel - interview room ➜ DATE: sunday 28th 2020

this is dumb. completely and utterly stupid. why did he have to go and let songhee convince him to go to this thing? he’s not cut out for being an idol, he can barely handle people online acting like ‘fans’ of his just because he does tiktoks. he had no performing talents, so he’s just going to make a fool out of himself. at least it’s only an interview, he thinks. he likely won’t make it through to the next round, since he’s got no performing experience like he’s sure a lot of the other people auditioning have. 

do it for the free lunch, eric, he tell himself as he fills out the form, then waits for his name to be called, regularly wiping his clammy palms on his thighs. he’s sitting hunched over his seat, unconsciously trying to make himself as small as possible. he feels like everyone around him can tell just by looking at him that he doesn’t belong here. he’s no singer, no dancer, no rapper - he’s just funny! funny doesn’t make you an idol. 

but, it’s too late to back out when they call his name and he hesitantly makes his way into the interview room, handing over his form and positioning himself opposite the person he assumes is the interviewer standing beside a camera. he’s used to cameras at least, though usually he’s being filmed on his own phone, and not an intimidating looking camera and microphone setup. 

he’s told to introduce himself, and after a moments hesitation, he looks at the camera and smiles. “i’m sohn youngjae, but everyone calls me eric. i was born in la, in america, i’m 19, and i’m currently a composition student at korea national university of arts. i’m also... a barista, a pizza delivery guy and a 7 eleven employee. busy bee, that’s me!” at least he manages to relax while talking, though he’s still worried they’re going to ask him to sing or something. 

“alright eric, nice to meet you. i’m going to ask you a few questions now.” eric nods, his smile though forced and slightly nervous, remains on his lips. 

“okay eric, firstly, why do you want to be an idol?”

dammit. how is he meant to answer this question when he doesn’t want to be an idol? sure, it sounds amazing, singing and dancing on a stage and wearing fun outfits and meeting people who love you for doing something as enjoyable as singing and dancing, but could eric do that? he’s pretty sure that’s an absolutely not. “uh...” his brains whirring, trying to think of an answer that isn’t too much of a lie. “i... i really like dancing. i’ve always liked dancing, and singing - actually when i was a kid my dad got me a toy karaoke machine for christmas once and i did holiday shows for my mum at every little holiday there was, just because it was fun. i suppose being an idol would be way more difficult than singing livin’ la vida loca on a toy karaoke machine in your living room for your mum, but i think it would be worth the hard work.” he pauses, realising he’s sort of strayed from the initial question, and clears his throat with an embarrassed half-smile. “i do dance cover videos on tiktok, actually, and a lot of people seem to like those, and whenever someone tells me they really enjoy my dance videos, it feels... well it feels better than... anything else i think. it’d probably be one hundred times better to hear thousands of people say it about a proper performance, like on a stage.” his answer seems, to him, to suck, but how is he meant to tell someone why he wants to be an idol, when he doesn’t want to be an idol?

“so, singing and dancing are your best skills, are they? do you have any other talents?”

“oh boy, i wouldn’t say singing is a talent of mine. those karaoke shows weren’t at all worth the cookie my mum would pay me for attending them!” he jokes, laughing and relaxing a little, getting used to the situation a little more. “i’d say i’m best at dancing. my tiktok followers seem to like my dancing, so i mustn’t be that bad, right?” again, he laughs, rubbing the back of his neck a little awkwardly this time, realising that this poor woman probably had no idea what tiktok is. “as for other talents, i can actually sing the elements song my tom lehrer and the nations of the world song, both in full without a single mistake!” he exclaims proudly, only to realise the interviewer probably doesn’t know those songs either. “well, i can sew, knit and crochet! those are some fun skills! and juggling!” 

“on your form you put that your biggest influences are mostly girl groups. isn’t that a little strange for a boy?”

“oh, i don’t think so at all!” he responds quickly. “i think girl groups are more marketed towards guys anyway. but music is for everyone, no matter who’s singing it! i like the style of girl group songs more, and i think it’s fun to challenge expectations. so if someone expects me to do a boy group dance, and i do a girl group dance, and i do it well, it’s fun to see the surprise on their face. i do know a few boy group dances, and there’s a lot more power in them than girl group dances, but i like how much emotion goes into girl group songs, which is why i like them a lot more and like to learn the choreo to them.”

“what would you say is the biggest obstacle you’ve have to overcome?”

eric’s lips purse as he thinks over the question. “i... grew up very poor. a lot of the time there wasn’t a whole lot of food, or a very healthy variety of food in my house. i also never wore new clothes, only second hand clothes from goodwill, and, well, children can be mean when you’re different. not only was i an asian boy growing up in a predominantly white area, but i was also far worse off money wise than many of my classmates. i suffered a bit of bullying, but i suppose it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. other than that, moving to a new country as a young teen and having to learn a new language and make new friends was hard.”

“could you tell us a little bit about your family? has your home situation much improved since then?”

the questions about home life and family life aren’t eric’s favourite - it isn’t a topic he’s too open about, thanks to his mum’s problems. but he can sugar coat it, he’s got a lot of practise doing that. “my family was mainly just me and my mum growing up. she didn’t have a very well paying job, but she’s doing better now. my dad wasn’t around a lot as he worked in korea when i was young and growing up in la. things were definitely better when he lived in la as well for a while, but he and my mum weren’t married, so they didn’t like together so i sort of... have a split life. time spent with him i never really had to worry about how much anything cost, but with my mum i really did. i got my first job at thirteen because of it. my family’s not very close, i have a couple cousins, but i didn’t meet them until i moved to seoul, and i don’t see a lot of them often.”

“you said you have three jobs, all while being a student as well. how do you think this impacts your everyday life and overall ambitions?”

“i started working very young. i was a paperboy, so a simple job really, but it helped a little. then i was a milk delivery boy when i moved to seoul, a similarly simple job, and they never took up much of my time. now i have three jobs and as you can imagine they take up a lot of my time, but i have them scheduled around my school hours, so it isn’t too bad. i don’t think much about how they impact my ambitions really, since i don’t have a choice in doing them - if i want to pay rent i have to work. i have some free time here and there though, so i use that time to learn new things and do the things i enjoy, and hopefully when i graduate i can find a better paying job and have more time for the things i enjoy.” he realises too late that ambitions probably meant ‘dream to be an idol’. oh well. 

“so, if you weren’t trying to be an idol, what do you think you’d be doing?”

“probably exactly what i’m doing now.” he’s probably the only person who’s putting absolutely no free time into this ‘endeavour into being an idol’, since he never even thought about it as a career. he’d love to be an idol, but he simply doesn’t have the skills needed, and he isn’t delusional enough to think he does. with more practise and dance or vocal lessons maybe he’d have potential, but he doesn’t have the time nor money for those. “focusing on school, and trying hard to pay my way through it.”

“thank you, eric, that’s all. do you have any questions before we finish up?”

“uh... no, i don’t think i do.” he says, sounding unsure. he’s ready to leave and go and get that free lunch songhee owes him for this awful ordeal. he just hopes she gets something out of this. 

“alright, well, have a nice day.”

“you too!” he replies, then leaves the interview room, head past the other people waiting, and makes his way out of the building, intending to go and find a cafe nearby to wait for songhee in. as much as that felt like a big waste of time, at least i gave him some insight into what actually trying to be an idol might be like. 

[rkpjy]

⭐️MGA 5 EPISODE 4 - SECOND CHANCE ↪ performing i want to fall in love by kim johan with @jacksxnrk version: x (2:00 - 4:00, arranged by the two of them) line distribution: x

Are you really happy at this moment?

and to think that around the same time last week, jinyoung almost expected to hear his name called for the top 3 singing performances. while it’s a competition and a lot of people have already gone home, making the prospect of winning seem more difficult than anticipated... does he really deserve to be eliminated this early? if he didn’t think he was talented enough to win, jinyoung wouldn’t have bothered applying. it doesn’t mean he believes himself to be better than everyone else, but he believes in himself and honestly, he thinks they’re wrong. no matter how he looks at it, no matter how he looks back at his performance with jeonghan and thinks of their flaws... there were duos worse than theirs. but of course, that’s only his truth. he gets no say in it, and did not hear the judges’ comments prior to taking their decision.

to be called mediocre of all things. on a show that clearly isn’t searching for the best talent, it seems a bit insulting. he waits to be given the reason why so jisub thinks that, but it never comes. jinyoung meets his fate with pursed lips and a nod, wrapping an arm around jeonghan’s shoulder for support. neither of them should be sent home right now, but here they are, after working their butts off all week. it’s everyone’s case, probably. but taking a look around him, he can’t help but feel as though the winners have already been selected, and the rest of them were just props meant to fill in some airtime since the beginning. he understands that he’s nobody. he’s no ex-idol, no ex-contestant, he doesn’t have a whole band of friends with him. he’s exactly how he felt the second week: invisible. everyone in this country knows how much these types of shows are scripted, but now that he’s experiencing it first hand, it’s worse than he’d imagined.  mnet has its picks, some that are in the top contestants right now, some who just benefit from a lot of screentime. there are others who jinyoung believe made their own path, like sihyeon who more than anyone here deserves the praises she’s been given so far. he thinks of heejin too, who is no doubt a favorite, but a girl with that much talent and star quality will always hog the spotlight. no one can blame her.

he clenches his fist. for the first time since coming here, there’s a rage growing inside him. he shouldn’t be standing here. if they want to see his true colors, he’ll throw it at them. he feels the urge to decline the second chance at performing, but it would be seen as giving up. he won’t give them that satisfaction, considering they barely notice his existence to begin with. it’s up to him to show them what they’ve been missing, and he’s greatly satisfied to learn he’ll be doing it with jackson.

this week is all about redemption. if so far he’s been a nobody to them, he can only hope to turn things around and let everyone know he’s not someone to mess with. but this could go both ways. he could be beaten down twice in a row. they could still hate it, and belittle their efforts. there’s no pity in this industry, he’s learned that a while ago. but just because they’re big shot ceos doesn’t mean they’re always right. how many times have they rejected talented people who went on to become superstars? so clearly, they aren’t all-knowing. they make mistakes just like everyone else. his talent will be recognized elsewhere if not with them. hyunbin wanted him twice. they will too.

jackson and him spend no time complaining about their situation. there’s no time for self-pity, and jinyoung honestly isn’t the type to just confide in anyone. they’re friends, but they’re not extremely close either. he shares how he’s feeling with his girlfriend, and for him that’s enough. he doesn’t avoid yugyeom at home either, and he congratulates him for moving on to the next round, but he doesn’t really... want to talk to him about what’s going on. he lets the younger enjoy himself and focuses on his own performance instead.

they soon decide on a song they’d like to attempt. it’s a nice ballad, with meaningful lyrics that don’t necessarily relate to their present situation, but tell a story they’d like to help come to life. about loneliness, something jinyoung has kept inside him for the longest time, and love. about being happy about what they have all while questioning why, in that case, they still feel so empty. but rather than only performing a simple cover, they decide to add harmonies to it that would be more fitting for a real duo. not just two people singing side by side, each having their own parts. they want to come together as one, and let their own vocal colors shine through.

they add high notes and other adlibs to the song, thinking this could set them apart and also show the judges the extent of their abilities. jinyoung is very good at emoting, so is jackson, but they also possess a technique they might not have focused on enough so far. for the past three weeks jinyoung has mostly tried to get out of his comfort zone and prove to himself and others that he can do many things and be good at it. but it’s time to go back to his roots, and belt out a powerful, emotional ballad. those are his true colors.

the set feels very empty without everyone sitting in the chairs on each side. there’s so few of them, and he looks at the other duos with a new found compassion. more than ever before, they’re all on the same boat. they both suffered a setback last week, but only two of them will be allowed to return. jinyoung doesn’t speak much, but he silently wishes them the best. the rest of the time he spends with jackson, reviewing the performance in his head. they both know what they have to do, but it’s just two minutes, and that’s very little time to impress a panel of five judges.

minhyun and jeonghan go first, and jinyoung watches his previous partner with frustration. jeonghan should not be here on this stage, he should be arriving later with the others, and so should he. there’s something so powerless about knowing just how much they’re talented but being unable to do anything about it.

once their turn comes, jackson and jinyoung make their way on stage, with their only prop being the microphone they’re each holding. there’s nothing else to focus on. no flashy outfits, no chairs, no glitter. just them and their voices. after briefly announcing their song choice and greeting the judges, they get ready, since they jump right into the song as soon as the music starts. jinyoung closes his eyes, and opens them again so they lock with jackson’s. he smiles. they can do this. they can wow them.

A life like this really seems nice I’m living a good life

it starts off sweetly, their voices resonating in harmony, and right after jackson belts out the first high note with brilliance. jinyoung feels hopeful as they go into the chorus, voices powerful but with a tenderness that shows just how much they feel what they’re singing. they don’t verse into melodrama, but if anyone in this room has ever felt lonely, they won’t be able to remain insensitive.

I’m so lonely, tears come into my eyes Loneliness comes and asks me Are you really happy at this moment?

jinyoung sings the last line alone, eyes closed as he climbs the notes one by one until reaching the final one. this song is vocally challenging for sure, more than any one he’s done up until now, but he’s a musical actor. it’s nothing he hasn’t done before. singing duets that tell a story, and not getting lost in the other’s voice. jackson is a wonderful partner in that aspect.

I answer (lonely) I’m so lonely (tears start to come) What is the reason for my existence? What is love? (what is love?) I’m so curious I am in love but I’m still lonely

the first part of this verse is jackson singing the main lyrics, while jinyoung does the adlibs. the ‘tears start to come’ is very high, and about as high as he can go without straining his voice. he’s usually comfortable in the middle range, as are most people with his tone of voice, but he can also reach unexpected high notes. and that is due to years of singing experience. he can now reach levels he couldn’t five years ago. they switch roles for the third line, with jinyoung singing the main lyrics, and they both finish together, gently, voices fading off as they let the music play.

after the very intense build up that just happened, there’s a long pause during which neither of them sings. they just let the track speak for itself, and let everyone and themselves catch their breath and return to a softer, quieter mood for the finale.

What is life? Why is it so lonely?

for a brief moment when jinyoung starts to sing, the music is silent, but it slowly picks up, guiding him through the last few notes, and jackon’s voice can be heard in the background, although very faint so it doesn’t outshine jinyoung’s. and right after it’s jinyoung’s turn to do his partner the same favor, harmonizing as jackson sings the last words.

it takes jinyoung a few seconds to get back to reality once they’re done, and after stepping off the stage he knows that this time there really is nothing more he could’ve done to prove to them that this is what he was born to do. this is him, and this type of song is what he excels at. some contestants would call it boring, but he couldn’t disagree more. there’s nothing boring about ballads, and it can capture and audience’s heart just as much. and a few people’s shitty opinions will not change the way he feels about it.

[basedtater]

Masterpost for Winterhawk Bingo Round 3

Literally cannot believe I blacked out my card this year!!! All the fics I've written for this round will be listed under the readmore as to not clog up everyone's dashes. Thank you mods to a wonderful round!

Special Badges I'm going for are the Bucky Badge!!!!

B1 - Feeling Helpless I Don’t Wanna Be Just Friends Ch01 Wc: 909

B2 - Tower Fic Fake Your Death Ch08 wc: 1173

B3 - Sniper Bucky Perfectionist Tendencies wc: 757

B4 - Aw [blank] No We’ll Never Get Free Ch03 wc: 1349

B5 - Bad Coping Mechanisms I Don’t Wanna Be Just Friends Ch03 wc: 1018

I1 - 5+1 Things I Wanna Be Close To You (I know that its worth it) wc: 1214

I2 - Vision Loss Blindsided By You wc: 807

I3 - Protective Clint Barton Keep Me Alive Ch 03 wc: 1579

I4 Deception You’re Something Worth Missing wc: 2262

I5 - Forehead Kisses I Don’t Wanna Be Just Friends Ch 06 wc: 1027

N1 - Makeshift Weapon We’ll Never Get Free Ch04 wc: 1222

N2 - Redroom!Clint + Redroom!Bucky We’ll Never Get Free Ch01 wc: 1814

N3 - Free space We’ll Never Get Free Ch07 wc: 1286

N4 - Shitty Childhood We’ll Never Get Free Ch02 wc: 1417

N5 - Presumed Dead We’ll Never Get Free Ch06 wc: 1616

G1 - Bucky’s Trigger Words Can’t We Just Talk? Wc: 1282

G2 - Haircut Fake Your Death Ch01 wc: 1868

G3 - Near Death Experience I Don’t Wanna Be Just Friends Ch 05 wc: 1274

G4 - Post-Endgame Keep Me Alive Ch01 wc: 1920

G5 - Jealousy I Don’t Wanna Be Just Friends Ch02 wc: 1707

O1 - Panic Attacks Keep Me Alive Ch02 wc: 2059

O2 - Bucky Worries About Clint We’ll Never Get Free Ch05 wc: 1800

O3 - Assassin!Bucky I Don’t Wanna Be Just Friends Ch07 wc: 1369

O4 - Kidnapping And I Swear You’ll See The Light Again Wordcount: 933

O5 - Huddling for Warmth Fake Your Death Ch02 wc: 1224

Final WC: 34866!!

Thanks everyone for a wonderful experience over in WHB!

[airmanisr]

Weston, Clevedon & Portishead Railway (UK) - WCPR Class B3 2-2-2WT steam locomotive "Weston" (Sharp Stewart & Co, Glasgow 1707 / 1866) by Historical Railway Images Via Flickr: This was the first Weston and was bought from the Furness Railway where it was numbered 35A. This locomotive was similar to the B2 "Clevedon" also being an outside-framed well tank single, but with larger cylinders and boiler. Note the narrow (original) cab and oval nameplate. Driving wheel diameter was 5ft 71/2 in. Weston was more powerful and heavier than Clevedon and lasted longer on the railway, but only until 1906 when it was sold for scrap. The WC&P Railway was an independent British light railway linking three North Somerset coastal towns. First planned in 1844, it opened in 1897 and closed in 1940. For more information about the WC&P light railway, please visit this excellent website: www.wcpr.org.uk/index.html