#we also are definitely experiencing stress-induced psychosis just in general because I've been hallucinating so fucking much | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thethingything · 4 months

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our current dilema is that the pain from our wisdom tooth keeps getting so bad we have to take pain meds (like it keeps hitting an 8/10 for several hours at a time. we can't not take pain meds) but the only pain meds that touch it have a warning on them saying not to take them for more than 3 days in a row, and we have at least another month of dealing with this, so I don't really know what to do.

the warning is because they're opioids and can cause addiction but I don't actually know how bad the risk is because everything seems to treat it like opioids are the worst thing ever and should be avoided at all costs and you'll get addicted if you so much as glance at them.

either way, my options are to either keep taking them and just accept that risk, or deal with being in so much pain I can't function. even with taking the pain meds I can tell we're a lot more irritable and short tempered and probably just insufferable to be around honestly and I hate the fact that pain causes this, but once again we've got to deal with this for over a month and we've also got to deal with the anxiety over what the treatment for it is going to actually involve.

I've had to deal with medical trauma stuff I didn't even know about until like yesterday when Lucy suggested it might be part of why I feel so shit, and I've had multiple panic attacks per day and constantly feel way more anxious than usual and I get the feeling we're just gonnaa have to put up with this for the next month and I don't know how the fuck I'm meant to cope with any of this

#personal #thoughts #🍬 post #vent post #posts made on pain meds #there is absolutely nothing that gets rid of what essentially amounts to a constant sense of impending doom #like our brain has just fully decided we're fucked and going to die or some shit and now I have to deal with the anxiet from it doing that #and like I know logically we're gonna be fine and this is ridiculous #but I know we sometimes get a delusion where our brain just decides we're gonna die on a specific day or whatever #and I think that's flared up and combined with the severe medical anxiety #and since knowing a delusion isn't real doesn't do shit to stop you feeling like it's real #no amount of logic seems to be able to make our brain not freak out over this and make me have panic attacks because of it #we already had that delusion kind of going on in the background because something about this time of year seems to trigger it #and I guess having something planned that's incredibly triggering and causing that feeling a dread #probably just made our brain combine the two things #we also are definitely experiencing stress-induced psychosis just in general because I've been hallucinating so fucking much #actually I wonder if the fact that I've had to take pain meds so much might also be messing with our psychosis #I would like to maybe not have to deal with any of this #we were looking forward to just getting that one tooth removed and then resting and recovering and not having anything planned for a while #and instead we've got at least a month of dealing with this shit and I'm fucking exhausted #this year has basically just been me dealing with one unbelievably triggering thing after another because I have no other choice #like I keep being thrown into situations that involve triggers that I can't even think about without having panic attacks #there's a whole bunch of shit going on in our personal life and stuff just keeps piling up and we don't get a break from any of it

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