#we don't even give a fuck if jensen isn't at some con but you make everything your business

[thedeadflag]

so this is something I've been mulling over for a while now - do you reckon it'd be possible to make a version of a/b/o that isn't fundamentally transphobic, or would it reach the point of "this is so different that you might as well not call it a/b/o" before that? off the top of my head you'd have to take out all elements of g!p, mpreg, and biological essentialism, and it'd probably be possible to write a version of a/b/o with that framework, but I don't know if I'm missing anything.

a/b/o is a reactionary trope that relies on cissexism-derived biological essentialism to function. Like, that’s the engine that powers the bdsm/power dynamics, cisheteronormative breeding/family building, “dub/non-con”, etc. elements that draw people to it, and led people to create it in the first place. 

Like, my best attempt at describing a non-transphobic, non-shitty typical a/b/o adjacent fic would include:

Werewolves (let’s face it, werewolves can be really cool if written well, and there’s a lot of really good ways to write them, a lot of ways to subvert tired subtropes within the trope)

Found Family-focused family/pack building (because wolves often adopt wolves from other packs into their own, blood lineage isn’t really a thing; much like vampires being created, newly turned werewolves of any age can be considered their sire’s child; if it needs to have a pregnancy arc between two men or two women, there’s IVF/IUI, or magically/spiritually-induced pregnancies, and of course writing a fully fledged complex trans character with their own non-pregnancy arc and virtues/flaws/goals/etc. and getting relevant trans beta writers who aren't your friends to keep it on track if you’re a cis writer)

A flexible, non-binary gendered society (rather than the rigidly structured biology-is-destiny a/b/o society) that’s trans inclusive either explicitly, or implicitly if it’s a new social universe with different rules. 

If mating seasons have to exist, they’re cultural more than biological, and no biological processes that could impede or trouble a person’s ability to properly consent. 

No inherent, glorified or reified power dynamics, certainly none rooted in or fostered through biology. 

That doesn’t seem very much at all like a/b/o to me. It’s a werewolf AU, which is the reason why a/b/o was created in the first place. It wasn’t enough. It needed something more than just a supernatural bent

I’ll continue on below for a bit on some simplified functions of a/b/o, but it’s mostly just some ramblings.

-

Like, to quote the originators of the genre/trope:

I'd like to see Alpha male Jared, and Bitch male Jensen. Jensen is a snotty prude (think Lady from lady and the tramp) he may be a bitch male but he's not just going to let anybody take a go at his sweet little ass...until he meets Jared...then prudey little Jensen turns cock slut for Jared. Bonus points for J2 being OTP, Jensen was a virgin before Jared, and now that they met each other, it's for life.

...

There are three types of men, alpha males, beta males, and omega males. Alpha males are like any ordinary guy with the exception of their cocks, they work just like canines (the knot, tons of cum, strong breeders, etc) The beta male, is an ordinary guy without the special cock. Omega males are capable of child bearing and often called bitch males.

Like, I want you to look at that real close and see what’s going on in there.

This was created to be a trope where there’s a world where women, as we explicitly know them, don’t exist, but where a subgroup of men take up the functional role of the woman in the heteronormative social structure of the world. It’s also not surprising that (assumedly cis) women created and initiated the spread of this trope.

Look at the language used. This is heavily, explicitly gendered for a reason. If you’ve read much of anything about how the male gaze impacts female sexuality, you’ll know a common response is for women to position themselves out of the proverbial frame entirely, so that no part of them can explicitly exist as an object, where they can take on the role of a subject. There’s no women whose experiences will directly link to her own and her own perceptions, comfort/discomfort/etc.

However, many of these women also have been heavily affected by the male gaze and heteronormativity, and that combined with not knowing what a real gay male relationship is like, what it looks like, what experiences might be unique to it...they fill in the blanks with their own conditioning. 

And maybe seeing a lot of that toxic masculinity in media content was unsettling because of how women get treated in that content, and how they in turn might feel in those shoes. But if a MAN, even if it’s a heavily female-coded man, were to undergo that...well, it’d be easier to appreciate those tropes and dynamics they’ve been force-fed to believe were arousing, hot, desirable. Especially if they can have two hot men in it. They can enjoy that self-created taboo, bypass their own discomfort and insecurity, and project it onto a type of person different enough to suspend their disbelief and maintain that difference, even if they’re pumping that guy full of all the typical misogynistic tropes and experiences they’re not comfortable having directed towards them and other women.

In short, it’s a way to get off on heteronormative norms/tropes, using another as a vehicle in order to keep up their cognitive dissonance.

Of course, this eventually spilled out into the Het fandom (makes perfect sense, since many of the a/b/o originators and proponents were het women), and then worked its way into Femslash fandom by piggybacking on g!p in order to meet the necessary criteria for PiV sex. 

Just, in this case, you necessarily shift some of the puzzle pieces around. Trans women take the place of the “alpha”, acting as an acceptable vehicle for a toxic masculine cis man, since lesbians aren’t into men. Even if the trans woman is generally written, in nearly every way aside from part of her body, as a toxic cis man. The original a/b/o’s “Bitch Male”/Omega Male is swapped out for the  Omega Female, usually a spunkier, more in your face version outside of romantic/sexual contexts in the media content, but let’s be real here, she’s still by and large submissive when it comes down to it. 

In a world where more wlw grew up feeling predatory for their attraction to other women, for feeling sinful, for being rejected from female intimacy het women enjoyed with each other after coming out, etc., it’s pretty common for a lot of lesbians to lack initiative, not be able to read or communicate romantic/sexual cues between each other...to essentially be “useless lesbians’ as the joke goes,and to feel isolated and undesirable. 

So writing a F/F fic where some hot woman modeled in the image of some hot cis woman pursues you? Takes the initiative sexually/romantically? Doesn’t beat around the bush, but is blatant? Who can’t control her lust around you? Who can give you the perfect nuclear family you’ve been conditioned to want in order to feel value in our heteronormative world, but were told you weren’t worthy of or could never feasibly attain? Who gives you a sexual encounter you have some education in and some emotional stake in due to common conditioning of PiV sex > all else? Who can give you plausible deniability for a number of contexts due to a lack of ability to explicitly consent? etc. etc.

Like, yeah, that’s going to feel comfortable for a lot out there. That’s going to seem pretty hot/arousing. It’s a way to get off on the norms and expectations thrown on women in society, but in a way that lets them distance themselves ever so slightly from men by shifting it from text to subtext, explicit to implicit.

Don’t just take my word for it, though. Here’s a few snippets from one of the most popular g!p/omegaverse femslash writers (if not the most popular) that help illustrate how/why this trope has found an audience

Why Do I Write G!P?The elephant in the room. It arouses me, but it’s also a form of self-comfort. I grew up in a very fundamentalist home. Women being with women was at first unspoken, and then derided, both by my church and at home. I felt insanely guilty for my attractions, so I developed ‘cheat codes’ to deal with it.

It was okay if the woman I had sex with in my dreams had a penis, for example. It was okay if she forced me to have sex with her. It was okay if we basically simulated heterosexual sex.

Because of my childhood (which included conversion therapy), I found myself falling into heterosexual roleplay patterns, at least sexually. It was a lingering thing from my childhood.

It’s still there, and I know I’ll never be rid of it.

...

I associate penetration with power. You know, being steeped in sexism from an early age turned some problematic thoughts into kinky lemonade. And since I’m a femme sub, taking power away from the top by ‘penetrating’ them can ruin the mood for me. I mean, I can write power bottom scenes with the best of them, and I enjoy them, but… *shrug* if I’m going to write omegaverse or g!p, someone’s getting fucked, and it’s not the top.

There are rules to a/b/o. There are specific reasons it’s sought out, read, and created, and that’s why it’s hard to imagine a version of it without those harmful elements, because the trope requires them for the audience to be satisfied.

It’s why all gay male a/b/o fits a pretty specific pattern. it’s why femslash a/b/o fits a very specific pattern. There’s nearly no deviation as a rule, because there are so many parts that have to be in play and functioning in a specific way in order to get the desired result. 

I could go on for hours about this, and the above is all a pretty damn simplified take of what’s going on in a/b/o for it to exist in the way it does and meet the needs of the audience, and I’ve already written a lot about this in the past, so I’ll try to cut it short here.

[jacklesrpg]

Texting & FaceTime || Beckles (Oct 12)

Jensen: I don't know why I thought this run was a good idea

Ashley: Because it's for charity and despite everything you have a big heart and want to give back.

Jensen: My legs stopped working

Ashley: Go sit in the hot tub

Jensen: I'm not home

Ashley: Then I don't know what to tell you

Jensen: I wasn't asking you to tell me anything, was making conversation

Ashley: Oh

Jensen: I can leave you alone though, don't mean to bother you

Ashley: It's okay, I'm not really doing anything anyway

Jensen: Is Brady still up?

Ashley: Yeah, he's sitting here playing

---

Jay: Instead of replying to the text Jensen started a FaceTime call.

Ash: Ashley jumped when her phone started ringing in her hand. She answered the call, flipping the camera so it showed Tristan instead of her. "Tristan, come talk to daddy."

Jay: Jensen expected to see Ashley so he was a little disappointed he was passed right off to their son. "Heeeey little man! Hope you're bein a good boy for mommy."

Ash: Tristan's eyes lit up when he heard Jensen's voice, "Daddy!" he said excitedly as he dropped his toys and stood up walking over to Ashley. Ashley turned the camera around so Tristan could see Jensen and Jensen could see him. She stayed out of the frame as best she could. "Daddy home now?" Tristan asked, trying to give the phone kisses.

Jay: Jensen laughed wholeheartedly at his son trying to kiss the phone, "No buddy, I'm not home yet. Soon though. Real soon."

Ash: Tristan leaned back into Ashley as he tried to get to his dad through the phone, "Daddy home." He said again, smacking the phone. "Tristan Brady, we don't smack mom's phone." Ashley said in a quiet yet firm voice.

Jay: "I hear that beautiful voice, where's the beautiful face that goes with it."

Ash: "Don't do that Jensen," she said sadly, "You called to see Tristan, not me."

Jay: "I called to see both of ya."

Ash: "I don't know if I want to see you right now though." she admitted.

Jay: Jensen sighed, "Kay."

Ash: "What do you want from me?" She asked him, trying to keep her voice normal.

Jay: "I don't know. I don't even know what I want from myself." He said honestly.

Ash: "Well when you figure it out, let me know."

Jay: "Can I see your face?"

Ash: Ashley sighed and moved herself so her face was in the camera frame. Her hair was messy and she had no makeup on. "Happy?"

Jay: He smiled, "Yeah, I am. Missed that face."

Ash: "Please don't do that."

Jay: "It's hard not to."

Ash: "Well try," she told him. "You constantly saying you miss me and you love me, makes this even harder. It isn't fair."

Jay: "I see us workin everything out. I told you it's just space. I'm not leavin ya."

Ash: "You're not the only deciding factor here Jensen. You don't get to make a unilateral choice here."

Jay: "You sayin you wanna walk away?"

Ash: "No, that's not what I'm saying. But this is something we both have to decide. Things have got to change before I'll even think about coming back."

Jay: "Like?"

Ash: "I don't know right now, Jensen." she said with a soft sigh.

Jay: "I still think we need counseling."

Ash: "And how do you expect to do that? You're never home as it is. That's part of the problem. When you're not on set you're at the brewery or away at a con. I'm by myself ninety percent of the time and I hate it. I have no friends in Vancouver or Texas."

Jay: "My schedule isn't somethin that can change though so if it's always gonna be a problem I don't see us bein able to fix things."

Ash: "Then why suggest counseling?"

Jay: "I didn't know my schedule was a problem til right now."

Ash: "Jensen, I've told you before that I've felt alone because you're never around. You're solution was for me to spend more time at the brewery with you. That's not a solution."

Jay: "Yeah it was. You wanted to be around me more and I was givin you a way to do that. I was tryin to share somethin with you that's important to me and it hurt that you wanted no part of it."

Ash: "Being around the brewery means being around Danneel. I knew she would be in our lives because of JJ but I never expected you to go into business with her. How do you think THAT made me feel? First you cheat on me with her and then you go into business with her? That's shit and you know it. That would be like me going into business with Tyler. The only difference is I never cheated on you with him first."

Jay: "The brewery has been in the works since Danneel and I were married. It's not just me and her, her brother's involved too. This has been a dream of mine forever. I didn't think it'd be a big deal to follow my dream. She doesn't have to be there when you're there though."

Ash: "Yeah but you could have talked to me about it first. Instead I didn't have any say in it. You want me to be involved yet I was never asked my opinion on anything or even asked to go to the brewery until I said I wanted to spend more time with you."

Jay: He took a deep breath, "When you and I started dating the brewery was already being worked on, how were you gonna have an opinion on something that was started before you were in the picture? The more serious we got the more I expected you to include yourself and you never did and that's my issue. You took my name, you took on the responsibility of raisin my kids with me, you say you wanna life with me but you don't wanna include yourself in MY business when it because OUR business the minute we got married."

Ash: "You could have involved me in the decorating and the little things but you didn't. You never asked me to be involved in anything." She felt herself starting to get upset and took a deep breath. "It doesn't feel like OUR business, Jensen. It's yours and Danneel's. I'm no where in the mix."

Jay: Because you didn't put yourself in the mix. I shouldn't have had to ask you, you should have taken the initiative."

Ash: "It wasn't my place to shove myself in the middle of things. That's not who I am."

Jay: "And that's my biggest problem with you. I want you to shove yourself in my shit. I don't wanna have to beg you to be involved."

Ash: "If I do that then you'll be mad and say I'm trying to take everything over. I won't do that Jensen and you know that."

Jay: "No, I fucking wouldn't! I would be fucking thrilled! You don't know me very well it seems."

Ash: "And clearly you don't know me."

Jay: "You asked for more time with me I tried to give you a solution and it wasn't good enough for you. I tell you what I need and you won't even consider it because it's not what you do. How is that fuckin fair?"

Ash: "Asking me to be more involved with you and your ex isn't my idea of spending more time with you. You're asking me to go from being home alone with Tristan all day to being along in some back office at the brewery all day."

Jay: "I was askin you to be around more to help out so I can fucking be home more. Two people can get the shit done faster. Most of the time I'm there by myself or with Gino. Danneel is there when I'm in Vancouver. If she shows up when I'm there it's so I can see the kids for a half hour."

Ash: "I don't know how to do what you want me to do! I didn't graduate high school, Jensen. I got my fucking GED because my parents made me and I barely passed that. now you want me to do book keeping and shit? I DON'T KNOW HOW! THAT'S WHAT AN ACCOUNTANT IS FOR!"

Jay: "I never said you had to do book keeping. If anything you could help keep the office organized. We could've found you a task that you know how to do. I never would have stuck you with a job you didn't know how to do or felt uncomfortable with. I wanted to show you the books in case something happened to me but I wasn't gonna make you do them."

Ash: "I'm not qualified to do anything there Jensen. I'd just ruin everything you've worked so hard to build."

Jay: "Your negative attitude is another thing I can't fucking stand."

Ash: "I'm not being negative. I'm being realistic and honest with you."

Jay: "No, you're being negative. You have no self confidence and it's hard to be around."

Ash: "Then don't be around me." She said and hung up the FaceTime call.