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macbookpro-hard-drive · 4 years

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control [jeremy h. x squipped!reader] pt.7

wow it took 30 years didnt it. i did it, fuckers. please give me attention-

anyway, heres the final part :) do i know how to proofread? no. thats it thats all i was gonna say, i just dont know how to proofread.

warnings: uhhh none i dont think

In the middle of August, the Ninja Sex Party dropped their newest album “Cool Patrol” and the two of you were in love. You were in Jeremy’s room, lying on his bed beside him sharing headphones as the album played, and it all felt so teenage rom-com that Jeremy was half-distracted the entire time by you and lost different lyrics because of that. “Orgy for One” played and you nudged Jeremy before mouthing “you” to him with a playful look in your eyes and a smile that set his heart racing. He laughed, and nudged you back just as playful before the beginning to “Danny Don’t You Know” brought the two of you back into reality. He was emotional, and so were you, and there was something about sharing an emotion with someone that was intimate enough to make his heart skip a beat.

Your phone buzzed after a while, and you sat up, pulling an earbud out. “Fuck, Jeremy-” You stood up quickly, scrambling to get your things together, “-my cousins were coming over to do that picture thing since we didn’t get a chance before - I gotta go, alright? I’ll text you in a bit.”

He wouldn’t remember what he said to you, or the dumb joke you made as you were leaving his room. He would remember how the minute you left, he added “Heart Boner” onto your playlist with a devious little smile as if he were getting away with something. Just a little joke between friends. After all - you had that little moment together, how could he not not?

An hour after you left, Michael showed up with a plastic bag filled with Chinese takeout for three - eyes widening when he saw your absence. His smile fell as he looked towards the bag in his hand, frowning slightly as he began to delve into his thoughts. For what felt like minutes, the two boys just sat there in silence as Michael finally untied the bag to pass his friend his portion of their meal, frustration evident in the way he furrowed his brow and refused to look him in the eye.

“They had a family thing,” Jeremy said. “Didn’t [y/n] text you?”

“No,” Michael said, “they did not. I said I was coming with food and-”

“It’s tradition,” Jeremy countered. “Y’know? It’s that little... sign-picture-thing. Some sort of family tradition their parents started when they were little.”

Michael rolled his eyes at the sappy expression crossing his best friend’s face as he placed what had been your meal on the dresser, before collapsing back onto his bed - tilting his head back to maintain eye contact. “That’s cute and all, but what do I do with their orange chicken?”

He shrugged, turning back to his computer to close out Spotify. “I dunno - we can go by their house later and see if they want it.”

He heard his comforter shift and assumed that Michael rolled over onto his stomach. “But I have egg rolls for them,” he whined, voice muffled slightly by what Jeremy could only guess was Michael laying his face in his hands.

A quick booting down of his computer. He shrugged again, chewing the inside of his cheek. “Just don’t eat them?”

The moment of silence could have killed a man. “Jeremiah.”

He spun to face him. “Michael.”

They maintained eye contact for a moment, before Michael shifted so that he was now sitting up - pulling the plastic bag closer to him. “So did you two fuck yet?”

A thousand broken words slipped past his lips as Jeremy struggled to say something - a question, a swear, something that didn’t make him look stupid. “Why would you ask that!?” he tried to ignore the way his voice raised an octave.

Meanwhile, Michael seemed to have no problem with disregarding his panic. “So you haven’t.”

“Uh. No? We’re just friends?”

“You sure?” Michael asked, not even giving him the chance to answer as he looked away. “I don’t know, dude, you’ve been pining for a fuckin’ while now. Why don’t you just ask them out?”

“I don’t like-” he paused, before shaking his head. If Michael knew, then he knew - there really wasn’t any point in denying it any further. “I don’t know, I like Christine still-”

“You can like more than one person at a time, Jeremiah.”

“I know, but...” “I don’t even know if they like me still.”

“Dude. Bro. Homie. Broseidon. Buddy. They wanna fuck.”

“Michael!”

“They’re at least interested in you,” he said with a mere shrug of indifference, “do you just not see how they look at you?”

“I don’t-” Jeremy started, and then he stopped, the words he wanted to say sticky and catching in his throat like honey. “I don’t think-” He paused, shutting his eyes, “Michael, I don’t know why they’d still be into me. Like... they did the whole...” He tapped at his temple, “thing because of me.” He hesitated. That wasn’t entirely true, was it? “Or... they did it slightly because of me. I just - I don’t think they’d, uh, y’know... want anything to do with me like that.”

There was understanding in Michael’s eyes, lit up before he looked away to the carton in his hand. He dug through it with chopsticks, letting out a sigh, “Dude, I get that, but... they like you, dumbass.”

Jeremy laughed it off. “Yeah, sure.”

“I mean it!” Michael countered, before dropping the topic, “I’m gonna eat your food if you don’t.”

“What-” Jeremy popped open his order, “fine, okay - but this conversation isn’t over, Michael.”

“Mhm. You’ll accept it later.”

“That’s not what I meant!”

“You really suck at hiding your feelings, y’know?”

“Michael!”

Two weeks later, and Jeremy wasn’t sure how to feel.

There were strings of these little... moments between the two of you. He realized how much time he was spending over at your house after Michael teased him over it, how often the two of you studied together and how flustered he’d get when you were close to him, how many times he found himself grabbing your favorite candy from gas stations just to make you smile. One Sunday night, he was sitting at the end of your bed with a pillow hugged to his chest, spending another night at your house while Michael was off spending time with his family (not that Jeremy wouldn’t have been there otherwise - he stayed over every now and then just because he wanted to. Movie nights were good. Dinner was good. Being around you was good). You sat at your desk, legs crossed awkwardly in your chair in a position that looked uncomfortable to him but you showed no signs of discomfort as you continued to draw. The two of you had been talking, and Jeremy had just sat there fascinated with watching you draw after years of not recognizing your progress.

A question hit the air, heavy and loaded. “Would you have taken it?” You didn’t move to face him, the soft sound of your tablet pen tapping back against the surface as you scroll out and fumble giving away any nerves. “The... the SQUIP,” you went to clarify.

But he understood, and he spoke quick: “no.” He shifted slightly, holding the pillow closer to himself, “not after what it did to you.”

“But if you hadn’t known,” you said, pausing for a moment to gather your thoughts, “if... if it had been you, would you have done it?”

“I mean... I don’t think-”

“You can say yes, Jeremy,” you finally looked back at him. “I’m not gonna be mad or anything.”

His shoulders slumped slightly, a bit relieved of the thought. “Okay, then... yeah. I mean, yeah - who wouldn’t?”

You turned back to your work. “Yeah. Yeah, right? It sounds good. Like... you have a pill that’ll solve everything and tell you the right moves to make... who wouldn’t want that?”

That’s when Jeremy realized you’d been doubting yourself. Blaming yourself for saying yes. “I think a lot of people would have taken it.”

“Yeah... I think so, too.” You stopped drawing after a moment, turning around fully to face him, “can I confess something?”

He nodded slowly. “Oh. Uh. Yeah, sure?”

“I don’t keep the Mountain Dew Red because I’m scared it’ll come back and destroy everything and leave me fucked,” you said in a rush of words, shutting your eyes for a moment. “Sorry. I just needed to get it off my chest but... I think it’s better this way.”

“Hey, no,” Jeremy reached out, fingers brushing over your shoulder. “Michael and I would find more.”

You fumbled with your pen, it falling to the floor as you swore softly under your breath. Jeremy reached for it just as you did, foreheads clashing in cliche fashion as you immediately push back. A moment later, he offered your tablet pen back to you.

He spoke after you took it. “Hey, uh, c’mere for a minute.”

So you dropped your pen onto your desk and pulled your chair over to the bed. Uncharacteristically calm and soft, he took one of your hands in a motion less Jeremy and more... you... you weren’t sure. It wasn’t entirely Jeremy, that much was confirmed.

“There was this stuff that mom used to way when I was a kid,” he said quietly, dragging his thumb over your knuckles. “It was this whole...thing about how the ‘loudest voice has to be yours’ when you’re doubting yourself and shit - I don’t know, it just kinda stuck with me and... I’m glad I’ve gotten to know you, because you’re... different? Like - you keep going, and, uh, you’re a big nerd who laughs at my stupid jokes and... I’m glad you’re you, I guess?”

You cracked a small smile as you pulled back from him. Before he can question whether he crossed a line, you answer, “I’m saving this. I can’t focus on art with your sappy ass saying shit like that.” You stood, tucking your chair under your desk as you sat on your bed. “Fuckin’ sweet dork,” you mumbled as you pulled Jeremy into a hug.

He stiffened up for a moment, only to wrap his arms around you after a moment. He smiled into your shoulder, saying a muffled “Shut up” into it as you giggled.

You pulled away with a smile. “Why don’t you make me, Jeremy?”

One of his biggest regrets was not asking to kiss you right then and there.

Days later, you were in his room for once, sitting on his bed beside him. You were tired, far more than he was, looking at math problems that were blurry to you as you stifled back another yawn. Jeremy had stretched out, awkwardly leaning against his headboard as he tried to stay away until you finally resigned for the night - shutting your notebook and tossing it towards your backpack with a noisy clamor. You leaned against him, mumbling words long forgotten into his shoulder - likely about hating numbers - only to whine when he sat forward a moment later. Soon enough, he returned to be your pillow once more, laughing softly as you curled into his side contently and making some joke about how you only wanted him around for this reason.

“Nope,” you had hummed, “too bony. Bad pillow.”

He snorted a little, reaching up to tuck back a strand of hair out of place. “You seem happy.”

“I am,” you hummed. “Since it’s you.”

He reached up, gently tugging you closer to him in order to worm an arm around you. “You’re tired.”

“Mhm.”

“Sorry I kept you up.”

“That’s okay,” you mumbled into his shoulder, shifting slightly to be closer to him. “Math is stupid.”

“It’s not stupid,” he countered, “you just aren’t good at it.”

“Thus making it stupid, Jeremiah.”

Eventually, you went quiet. At first, Jeremy thought you’d fallen asleep, but you sat forward slightly, looking up at him and it was almost like there had been magnetism between you. You had leaned forward, and he gently reached up to guide your face to his, and the two of you kissed for a soft, quiet moment. Soon enough, you had drawn away and cuddled back up to him. He wasn’t sure if he fell asleep first, but he remembered how warm you felt against him and he remembered feeling nothing but warmth in his chest as he eventually dozed off.

There were a few things that hit Jeremy when he woke up. The pain in his back from falling asleep half-sitting against the headboard of his bed, the weight on him that confused him for a moment for a millisecond before he felt your hot breath tickling his skin, face buried in his neck. Then the memory of the night before - of a clumsy kiss he’d been craving for so long, and the way you kissed back and maybe that was his imagination? He wasn’t sure, but the thought was enough to nearly make him jolt - but you were enough to keep him as still as he could be. He looked at how peaceful you looked, and he felt his heart swell at just how warm you were against him and the memory of your lips haunted him as he felt his skin grow hotter. If remembering kissing you was enough to make him completely flustered, anything more would probably kill him.

Eventually, you woke up, groggy and sleep-ridden still at first as you sat forward and rubbed at your face. “Jeremy, I hate to break it to you-” You paused, yawning, “-but you aren’t a great pillow.”

He chuckled at that, sitting forward. “Hey, uh... sorry to, uh, ask, but, uh, do... do you remember anything about last night...?”

You stared at him, uncertain at first before you thought back on what had happened. You threw your notebook at your bag. And then... It came back to you, striking you hard and fast. “Oh.”

“I- I’m sorry,” he stammered, “I just - I was tired and I wasn’t thinking and I shouldn’t have...”

And he slowly trailed off when he saw the way you were looking at him, voice caught in his throat as your gaze flickered from his eyes to his lips and then back. He heard you whisper something - “fuck it,” he was pretty sure - before you started going in for another kiss - and he leaned forward to meet you halfway, a hand sliding into your hair as you grow closer to him. The night before had been gentle, sleep-ridden and warm - and now the two of you are awake and clumsy and so wonderfully alive during this messy kiss. His teeth had clashed against yours, your forehead bumped against his, but you correct. A little less force, a little more gentleness, a changing of an angle - the tiny ways to make things better and less awkward.

In a bold move you definitely didn’t expect, Jeremy’s hand falls to your hips, pulling you closer to him by your belt loops (a cruel reminder that you were asleep in jeans). His kisses grew slightly more frantic, more hungry, more needy - the tiniest little whimper slipping past his lips once you finally pull yourself back, breathing softly as you stared at him. His hand slipped back to your jaw, thumb grazing your jawline slowly and gentle.

“Jeremy?” you whispered, staring at him, “wait, you-”

“I... I know we were gonna try to be friends, but... I think I like you.”

You stared at him, flustered as he tore his gaze away from yours - a pretty rosy hue decorating his skin, blotchy and creeping up his neck to the tips of his ears.

“I, uh, I mean, I didn’t... I never planned on, uh... I just - I don’t - I, uh, I think you’re... a big nerd. You... you laugh with me and you, uh, you care about things - and you... you remember things about me - and, uh, other people do but... you’re just... you’re different.” He trailed a thumb across your skin. “You... feel like home. Even, uh, even if this... doesn’t really go anywhere, I - I’m glad that I know you and- I understand if you don’t, uh, don’t actually want this to go anywhere but-”

And you laughed. At first his stomach dropped, anxiety taking over as he grew nervous over the thought of you rejecting him - but something about the way you laughed made his heart flutter, one hand steadying yourself on his shoulder while the other hid your face.

“I... I don’t really know how to explain it better, but... can I, uh, can I kiss you again?”

And you laughed again, reaching up to brush back hair from his face. “Yes, Jeremy. You can kiss me again.”

#mj's writing corner #be more chill x reader #be more chill reader insert #jeremy heere x reader #jeremy heere imagine #bmc imagine #bmc reader insert

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dontreadthistrashgarbage · 5 years

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Pt.1

"Is that foreigner the manager from that viral video?" Byeongkwan wondered aloud as a new boy group and their staff hustled down the hall to their waiting room.

The other boys of A.C.E craned their heads to look after the receding backs of the rookies. "It has to be right? There's not exactly a lot of foreigners that work as managers." Chan said thoughtfully.

"What video? What?" Jun asked, clueless as to what his younger members were talking about. Seyoon and Donghun turned back as well as Byeongkwan pulled out his phone.

"This video went viral last week cause a sasaeng tried to grab a member but their manager stepped in." He pulled up the clip and showed it to his hyungs.

The video showed the rookie group making their way into a building when someone rushed up and grabbed one of the younger members, he didnt look to be older than maybe fifteen. Before the boy had any chance to react beyond an obvious expression of fear, a tall female foreigner with light brown short hair in a wolf style cut, and a very fit physique, stepped between him and the fan, forcing her grip to break. The manager didnt break step at all as she put her arm behind the boys to keep them moving, a quelling expression on her face as she maintained eye contact with the sasaeng for a few seconds before security stepped in to remove the troublemaker. The sasaeng had looked startled herself for a moment before becoming visibly upset at the interruption.

"Woah, awesome." Jun responded, eyebrows high, "That was so smooth."

"That was cool." Seyoon nodded in agreement and instinctively glanced up to see if any of the staff was still in sight, though they were long gone.

"She didnt get in trouble did she?" Asked Donghun with a slight frown.

"I don't know, she was just here so maybe not?" Byeongkwan shrugged, putting his phone away and also glancing down the hall again.

"She didnt get in trouble." The boys jumped, not noticing their own manager, Minseok, having come up behind them as they were watching the video, "Sorry, didnt mean to scare you." He grinned.

"Aaahhhh, you scared me hyung." Chan whined, rubbing his beating heart.

"How do you know she didnt get in trouble?" Donghun asked curiously.

"I've chatted with her in the manager room. She's an interesting person." Before the boys had a chance to ask what he meant he changed the subject, "anyway get ready to go, it's almost our turn." They wasted no time switching to work mode and moving out.

"To a successful third week!" Guerin called out, holding up her shot glass. The two other managers met her cheers and they all drank their soju.

"For you! It's only been one week for me." Minseok shook his head as he automatically refilled the shots for the other two. Guerin chuckled and immediately refilled his as well. Politely speaking it should have been Jinyoung's job to do that but Guerin was an enthusiastic foreigner so neither of then bothered to correct her this time.

"Well thanks anyway for meeting me out. It's been fun but very tiring!" She added, setting the soju bottle down, then picking out one of the many late night snacks they had ordered and munching happily. While officially working she kept her makeup and jewelry fairly neutral she took socializing as an opportunity to match her looks to her personality. Today she wore an orange lip stain with light orange and yellow on her eyelids. Her normal earlobe studs were replaced with fun mismatched dangling earrings drawing attention to the rainbow feather tattoo behind her right ear.

"Ya, why do you keep looking at your phone?" Jinyoung challenged Minseok as it buzzed again. It had been going off fairly frequently for the past twenty minutes.

"Is it your girlfriend? Tell her to join us! The more the merrier." Guerin mentioned through her chewing.

"Funny you should say that..." Minseok trailed off with a guilty expression. The other two paused to look at him, Guerin already with another bite halfway into her mouth. "Its not my girlfriend, but I've just been informed we're getting company."

Her expression quizzical, she shrugged and stuffed the large bite of food into her mouth. It turned out to be poor timing.

"Hyung!" A man's voice exclaimed, approaching their table. Guerin, with chopsticks still in her mouth, cheek bulging, peaked up to see three members of Minseok's charges, A.C.E, coming toward them. She dropped her chopsticks as Minseok and Jinyoung stood to greet the newcomers. "Oh shi-" she started in english stopping just in time and jumping up as well, hitting the table with a loud clatter. She covered her mouth as the others and some surrounding people looked at her and hurriedly tried to swallow while bowing apologetically. Now standing at their table with alternating combinations of hoods, hats, masks and glasses was Seyoon, Byeongkwan and Donghun.

Minseok and Jinyoung looked amused, Byeongkwan and Donghun seemed concerned and Seyoon had his standard smile in place as she managed to quickly choke down her food at greet them. Minseok introduced everyone in the meantime, before turning to them after everyone sat back down.

"Guerin? Isn't that a Korean name? Where are you from?" Byeongkwan asked curiously.

"Oh, I'm from America but my name is difficult for Koreans to pronounce so I chose a Korean name." Guerin explained.

"I was going to bring food back." Minseok said almost defensively to the trio of unexpected guests.

"We know we just didnt want to wait." Donghun said.

"We also wanted to meet your friends." Seyoon said, looking at Guerin.

"You've already met me." Jinyoung responded looking at them as though waiting for the full story.

There was a beat as Guerin looked around and just as she filled in the blanks Byeongkwan confirmed, "We wanted to meet Guerin."

"What? Why?" She asked, confused.

"You're famous." Donghun said before turning to Minseok, "Can we join you? Should we order more Soju?" Minseok sighed and nodded, signaling to the server and calling for more Soju.

"Let's order more snacks too." Seyoon piped up.

"Oh, please help yourself, eat as much as you want." Guerin gestured to the selection of food.

"They need to keep to their diet-" Minseok started and Guerin gave him a look, "They're healthy, active young men. They work hard and they deserve to eat."

Minseok rolled his eyes, he had heard this before. Jinyoung piped up jokingly, "She just wants to make them fat to decrease competition."

Guerin gave the same stern look to Jinyoung, "Excuse me I make sure my boys eat very well. I refused to allow them to be unhealthy for aesthetics. Besides. A splurge once in a while never hurt anyone." She finished the sentence with another mouthful of food.

Seyoon looked at Minseok, "Can she be our new manager?"

Byeongkwan and Donghun raised their newly filled shot glasses for a cheers the Guerin heartily joined with the three boys while Minseok and Jinyoung shook their heads pretending to be offended.

"We got a glimpse of that famous expression you made." Donghun said after the cheers.

Guerin set her glass down and proceeded to refill everyone's shot glasses.

"Ahhhh I see. You're talking about that video with the sasaeng." There was a reserved tone to her voice as she glanced at each of their faces to read their expressions. No one spoke for a moment as she waited for their confirmation and they struggled to find the words they wanted. "Please dont worry about offending me, you can be... ah what's the word I want? Frank? Direct? Honest? Straightforward? Aahhh informal?" She settled on the word she knew after floundering in English for a moment.

"Direct." Byeongkwan added helpfully.

"Yeah, exactly. You can be direct." She smiled taking another sip of soju.

"Did your company scold you?" Seyoon asked.

"Hmmm, not really? They understood my reaction but there was some negative feedback from netizens so we had a talk about what to do next time." Guerin frowned and took another bite of food.

"What were people complaining about?" Byeongkwan asked around a mouthful of food.

"Mostly that I looked scary or acted to aggressively. Honestly most of the responses were very positive and supportive. They saw I was trying to protect the boys. I was very touched by a lot of comments." She smiled softly glancing away with an almost shy expression. "I was really only bothered by the ones criticizing Seungbin for not standing up for himself." Her expression changed again as she frowned the shrugged and looked up.

"It could look bad to some that a man needs to be protected by a woman." Donghun added thoughtlessly. Both Seyoon and Byeongkwan looked at him in alarm. He immediately panicked seeing their expression and the raised eyebrows on Guerin, "I didnt mean it like that I just meant that's what other people migh-"

"I get it." Guerin finished her shot then indicated Donghun to fill her glass with a playful wink as he obliged looking guilty. Seyoon shoved him playfully.

"It was one of the sentiments. As a man he should have done something himself. For starters he's very young, he is only fifteen and a very slight frame at that. Even then, an idol has to be careful with their image, they cant be seen being rude to fans, even terrible sasaengs. Additionally they've just debuted, so not only is their image even more impressionable, but it's not something he has experienced before. He was frightened and shocked. There is no shame in that. Lastly, I used to work in security so my response wasnt planned, I just saw someone who was in trouble and reacted." She gestured to Donghuns glass encouraging him to drink with her. They clinked glasses and drank together.

"Noona, you're drinking a lot." Jinyoung nagged playfully.

She looked surprised, "It's just soju and I've only had about five shots." She looked at the alcohol content on the bottles and laughed, "this is nothing! I'm feeling very pleasant right now."

Minseok sighed, "Noona you sound like an old man." She stuck her tongue out at him in response.

"Maybe if you babies were better at drinking you wouldnt need to shame my talents." Minseok pretended offense and Jinyoung raised his hand with a fake attempt to smack. "Aaahhh see what happens." She teased him and he sighed and looked away, calling for another bottle of soju.

She turned back to the A.C.E members that had been digging into the food on the table, "I love seeing our kids eat well." She patted her own cheeks with a cute smile.

"AWW NO NOONA not your aegyo ugh." Minseok complained loudly.

"I didnt mean to aahhh it just happened I was so happy." She covered her face but couldnt hide her embarrassed laugh.

"Hyung no, it was cute!" Seyoon interjected.

"You only say that cause she wants to stuff you full of food!" Jinyoung interjected, "you wouldnt say that if you had to see that all the time."

Guerin smacked Jinyoung lightly on the arm and ignored him as he pretended serious injury, "yah, you heard him. I'm CUTE." She shot Seyoon a cutesy wink and peace sign and his smile froze in place before he shot back his own wink and finger hearts. Byeongkwan and Donghun jumped onto scolding him while Guerin held a hand to her heart, as she played along.

Once they finished goofing off Byeongkwan spoke up again, "Guerin-SSI-"

"Just call her Noona, it makes her happy." Minseok sighed, looking at his dumb foreigner friend as she shot him an exaggerated scrunched face smile before turning back to Byeongkwan.

"You dont have to call me noona if you dont want to. But you dont need to be formal with me, I prefer to be friendly." She clarified.

"Noona, you said you worked security? What was that like?"

"Ah! Yes! It was rad! It was awesome. I worked as an independent contractor so I did everything from bouncing at bars, to private events like wedding and fundraisers, or even big fancy events like fashion week." She pulled up a sleeve and flexed, flashing an impressive bicep and patting it proudly, "I liked the work, and I was good at it." She pulled her sleeve down, preening slightly at the impressed expressions on the faces of the men joining her at the table.

"Cool! Why did you stop?" Seyoon asked.

"Well I moved out here to teach English, but then I really loved it so I wanted to stay. A lot of security work here only pays well if you can be armed, but getting my license for that would be tricky because I'm a foreigner. So I wanted a job that would still let me help people but pay well and my friend suggested this to me." While she talked she served a piece of food to everyone at the table, gesturing that they eat more. "Now I just get my jollies by giving piggyback rides and challenging men to arm wrestle just to put them in their place. And also feeding babies." She teased, feeding Minseok directly as she said so.

"Ya." He protested around the food in his mouth.

"Shhhh baby, or I'll tell your boys how many times I beat you at arm wrestling." She said, posing cutely with her finger to her cheek and fluttering her eyelashes.

The table erupted in a mixture of approval and dismay, Guerin cackling at the response and ending with everyone doing another cheers and shot.

"Darn! We should have gone with you, she sounds cool." Chan said with a slight pout. It was the next day and they were all in the waiting room getting ready.

"She's just what Minseok said. Interesting." Seyoon nodded.

"Were a lot of foreigners like that when you lived overseas?" Jun questioned Byeongkwan.

"Not really. She definitely has taken up some Korean traits well but even then she's really forward and comfortable and..." he paused.

"Loud?" Donghun offered.

"Definitely loud." Seyoon nodded in agreement.

"Arent all foreigners loud?" Chan asked.

"Not as loud as me. Hi guys!"

"Noona!" Byeongkwan jumped up. Donghum and Seyoon looked shocked and embarrassed.

"Noona, we didnt mean it as a bad thing." Donghun said as he and Seyoon bowed. Chan and Jun bowed in greeting as well along with Guerin after she patted Byeongkwans shoulder fondly. She smiled in response.

"Not at all, I know I'm extra. It means I'm extra, I'm above and beyond the normal level. I'm not offended at all, most of all because it's the truth." She waved off their guilty expressions.

"Noona, this is Jun and Chan." Seyoon introduced the remaining A.C.E members.

"It's nice to meet you! You'll have to join us next time so I can feed you too!" She grinned at them, "You can call me Noona or Guerin, whichever you are most comfortable with."

"What brings you here?" Jun asked politely.

"Minseok said he was here, he left his airpods behind last night so I brought them to him, the lightweight." She joked.

"Stop talking trash behind my back." Minseok complained walking back into the room and handing each of the boys a beverage from the vending machines.

Turning to face him directly, "hello my favorite lightweight. You drunkenly left your toys behind after one bottle of soju but I'm here to save the day!" She held out his airpods, the pulled back abruptly, "hey wheres my drink?"

Minseok sighed, "Seriouslyyyy?" He whined and pouted lightly.

"Oh my god. No. So cute. Aahhhh." She handed over his airpods and averted her eyes, fanning herself. Minseok looked proud at his win for a fraction of a second before he met the gazes of all five A.C.E members.

"Hyung..." Jun said in shock.

"You've never..." Byeongkwan started. Seyoon and Chan just started giggling while Donghun visibly cringed.

"Oh you guys stop, it was cute. He did it for me cause I'm weak for that sh... that stuff." She pressed her lips together at her catch. "Anyway its time for me to head back to HEET. It was nice seeing you guys again, and nice meeting you Jun, Chan." She bowed and left.

The boys waited a moment before Chan spoke up, "Okay I think I see what you mean."

"She makes me feel like I've been in a pool too long." Minseok grumbled disingenuously before going to put his airpods away.

"I like her." Jun stated, "She seems fun."

The boys of A.C.E were surprised by the unexpected reception in the party room. As soon as the five boys entered there was loud cheering, shouts of "surprise!" And "congratulations!". For the first time since their debut they had finally gotten their first, second and third wins. It was an emotional time, and seeing so many familiar faces cheering them on didnt stop the tears.

Unexpectedly, outside of their usual staff and friends was HEET, Guerin (their manager) who had become more familiar and a second foreigner.

Guerin waited until last, sporting bright pink lipstick this time, then offered a hug of pride and congratulations to each of them that they accepted before she introduced her team HEET and her friend, "A.C.E, this is my friend Charlie." She grinned, "She works at the zoo as a vet intern, I've known her for a while and I think you'll get along."

The members were instantly interested, "The zoo?"

"That's incredible!"

"How cool!"

"Do you treat all the animals?"

Guerins pretty friend smiled shyly but proudly, her pink and purple hair standing out against her fair freckled skin. "I'm just an intern but I'm learning so much, and I'm getting a lot of hands on experience."

"Your korean is so good!" Donghun offered excitedly, smiling genuinely.

"What's your favorite animal to work with?" Jun asked, pushing past Chan and Donghun as Charlie blushed.

Guerin hung back, smiling proudly at her friend, Seyoon close by while his members grilled Charlie.

"It must be nice to have someone from a familiar culture close by." Seyoon said to the short haired woman, easily his equal in height.

"Yes! And she's amazing! I wanted to be a zookeeper too but..." Guerin's smile became somewhat forced, "Well, it didn't work out."

Seyoon didnt know how to respond to that. It was a public place and seemed like a sensitive topic so he said the first thing that came to his mind, "You should give me a piggyback ride."

Guerin almost choked as she was shocked into laughter, "A wh- you want a piggyback ride?"

"Yeah. We got our first three wins. You should give me a piggy back ride to the snacks."

Without any hesitation whatsoever Guerin offered her back, "Hop on the snack train."

Minhwan, the leader of HEET, saw her motion, "Noona no, please that-".

Before he could finish his sentence Seyoon had hopped on. If he had stopped to think for a fraction of a second he might have caught the panicked and frozen expressions of most of the other guests in attendance but there was a person to be cheered up and snacks to be had so he missed it until he had been dropped at the buffet table.

He was reaching for a plate to demand Guerin load it up for him as well before he caught the faces of those around him and hesitated. Guerin, however, either didnt notice or care as she took his plate. Seyoon watched as she loaded the dish with all kinds of foods, paying no attention to their caloric value or sodium levels before shoving it back to him.

"Here. Eat." Her face lit up with joy, from what he couldnt exactly tell. As she ushered him away he noticed she did the same thing for all the members of her group, loading them up with food and happily encouraging them to eat. HEET was a talented group from a new company, the boys had an age gap from 15 to 23 but all seemed well fed and athletic despite differing body types. Seyoon noticed these details through catching up with members from his own staff and munching through his heaped plate.

"So you've only been in korea for a year?" Chan asked in disbelief.

"Well, living here. I've taken language classes and visited Guerin while she was here so I knew I wanted to do more." Charlie looked shyly down, "I'm sorry, I know my korean isnt good."

"No, its amazing! You're doing so well!" Jun responded enthusiastically, "you must be excellent to be able to intern in the vet field!"

Charlie blushed and covered her face.

"Boys if you could let my friend breath that would be amazing." Guerin cut in.

"Ah, I'm sorry we didnt mean to embarrass you." Donghun turned polite as the three bowed apologetically.

"Just be nice to her. I know you have it in you. Chan, come here let me feed you." Guerin continued, dragging the maknae away toward the table where Byeongkwan hovered. Guerin wasted no time feeding up the two young men, ignoring any protests from Minseok about their diet.

"Can we make you a plate?" Jun asked Charlie, suddenly inspired.

"If you want to, if you're hungry too..." she trailed off, overwhelmed by shyness.

"We can share." Donghun said, stepping up with her and Junhee. Her face flushed a little at their proximity, they either didnt notice or didnt care.

As the party progressed A.C.E. made sure to make their rounds and thank their staff. Thrpughout the night Seyoon found himself with a desire to drift to Guerin over and over. Whether she was with Minseok or her charges or her friend he was drawn to her side. The downside is it often ended with what might be considered inappropriate interaction. Besides the piggyback ride she had given him, they had exchanged cringey aegyo to each other, clung to each other laughing and finally he had challenged her to arm wrestling.

"Really? You want to in front of everyone?" She asked with an expression of concern.

Seyoon waggled his eyebrows, "Loser buys meat."

"Oh, I guess we'll find out the limits of your food budget then." Guerin laughed.

Charlie didnt outright cheer Guerin on but she did let out a muffled laugh of anticipation heard only by Jun and Donghun who happened to be near her.

"Do you think Guerin can win?" Jun asked Charlie skeptically.

"Oh, yes. He might have a chance in leg wrestling. But Guerin focuses a lot on strength training. Dance will do a lot but..."

Donghun nodded, familiar with the concept from his period in the military. His psyhique had changed when it went from soldier to idol. Junhee nodded as well, a bit more idly as though he didnt quite buy it.

A table and chairs had been located as Seyoon refused to back down. The two contenders clasped hands and for a moment gazed directly into each others eyes.

Guerin inhaled and said quietly so only Seyoon could hear, "Ah, its cheating for you to be so handsome." After which she clinched her eyes shut and pressed with all her might. Seyoon, despite his surprise, recovered and fought against her as best he could but ultimately he lost.

Guerin was not a gracious winner. She stood up, both arms in the air and walked around the room to calls of support while Seyoon recovered. It was easier for him to pretend to wallow in shame than to acknowledge the flutter he had felt in his chest from her unexpected comment.

"Maybe he could beat you in leg wrestling!" Byeongkwan proudly shouted from the sidelines, completely uninvited.

Guerin paused for only a moment before Minseok put the kibosh on that idea. Guerin laughed and propped an elbow on the shoulder of her friend. "Poor Minseokie, I've been thwarting you all night. I'll have to respect your wishes at some point." She secretly felt relieved, the brief eye contact she had made with the younger idol had made her heart race and wasnt sure she wanted his legs on her like that... [lies] a traitorous part of her brain added. She quickly pushed the thought down.

"Minseokie, have you eaten? Let me feed you." She tugged playfully at his arm.

"Do you ever think about anything other than food?" He grumbled but passively went along with her.

"What else is there?" She joked as she lead him off.

Seyoon watched them retreat as Donghun, Charlie and Jun came up to him.

"It was a close match!" Charlie said politely.

"Are you okay? You look weird." Jun asked.

Seyoon gazed up at them forlornly, "You've seen how much she loves food. I'll need to get a loan to feed her meat."

"Oh yeah you're totally screwed." Donghun said with a nod.

"You might as well close your bank account now." Charlie said with feigned sympathy this time.

Seyoon groaned dramatically and sank to the floor, covering his eyes, "I was so looking forward to my first paycheck."

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fromnatwithlove · 8 years

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Hong Kong Reflections

#Honestly really so grateful I came on this trip. I feel like i’ve really changed a lot throughout the trip & my life view is also very very different!! This may sound a little exaggerated, but I’m definitely a different person that I was before the trip. Initially thought it would be really awkward and boring, being the only young person and going with yeema, ah yee jane, ahma and gong gong and mummy, but wah i really feel like i’ve grown in the past 6 days than I have in the past year. HK LESSON #1: Fake it till you make it -- it works.

We all know that we act differently around different groups of people. We seem to take on a different persona, based on what people expect us to be & what they think we are supposed to behave like. For me, I’m very mischievous around my friends, very kind and patient and thoughtful around relatives, yet at home, with my family, I have a very short temper and for some strange reason, I find myself extremely reluctant to offer help to my family members. I never understood the reason why (and I still don’t!) but I realised that, your perspective and expectation of yourself is SUPER important! Small efforts to tweak your mental state and consciousness to pretend to be a certain type of person (e.g. polite, helpful, patient, kind-hearted) will actually help you achieve that kind of character for real. I’ve been so used to being the considerate, patient and helpful kid that I find myself super willing to help my family members at home, even when it’s not necessary to put on a show! So stop believing that your personality traits have to vary with different groups of people, and that, just because you’re short-tempered at home means you’re a short tempered person, that its in your nature and cannot be changed. You can actually just psyche yourself and convince yourself to be more helpful, make mini-mental efforts to not have negative thoughts and basically... fake it till you make it!!! I realised this works for my mom too. She’s usually super impatient and gets angry for the smallest things, but being around relatives forced her to control her anger and like. she can actually do it. We all can do it (be more helpful and patient, etc). It’s honestly just a mental mind game. HK LESSON #2: Filial Piety and Familial Love

There are many little things that say “I love you”, just that we don’t notice them. I love my Ahma so much. I’ve been saying this for so long like 10 years and I always beat myself up for not telling her that but honestly -- there are many things that don’t always have to be expressed in words. Just because I dont say it outrightly doesnt mean that she doesn’t know. I love offering to hold her hand bag, and my favourite feeling is holding her hand to cross the road and when she holds my hand back for balance as she walks, knowing that I’m always by her side and here for her! She’s forever asking if i’m cold and she gave me her scarf. She makes the effort to call me by the right name (instead of my sisters). I remember this particular meal time where, while we were all eating, she kept looking over at my plate to see if I had enough to eat. She would pick up food with her chopsticks and pile them up on my plate, asking me to eat more. I guess there are some things my mom does that I take for granted as well. Every time she asks if I have enough to eat or gives me good food, it’s honestly just cos she’s looking out for me. and I guess i’ve been taking that for granted la. When we argue and I get really angry I always think that I can never get along with my mom and that I cannot stand her as a person. But i realised honestly when she doesn’t get angry we really really get on very well??? which is such a strange feeling for me ahh. And I really honestly am very thankful for my mom cos i know she sacrificed a lot for us and just wants the best for us. without her I would never be where I am today la honestly. and I’m just thankful I guess. HK LESSON #3: Arguing is also a form of communication

The other day I told Ahyee Diana that Mummy and Jiejie always fight, and she said “It’s normal. Fighting is okay, sometimes it’s even good. Fighting is also a form of communication. It’s better than not talking at all” If you think about it, fighting with someone means that 2 parties actually care enough about one another to spend time explaining and arguing their point across to the other person, and usually when family’s argue it’s just because they want the best for each other (just that what they perceive as the ‘best’ may be different!) If you didnt really care for the person much you would not waste your time and breath arguing with that person and getting upset or angry over it. In some ways, its actually better than both people giving each other the silent treatment or not bothering to speak to that person at all because they dont care enough. I guess its true that, the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. HK LESSON #4: Believe + Determination = Success Determination is not synonymous with confidence. I know I am determined but I am definitely lacking in belief and confidence! I know i’m always struggling to draw the line between having confidence and having an inflated ego. I guess I dont have the answer yet, but I think BELIEVING in yourself is very important. If you don’t even think you are a suitable candidate, how would you expect others to believe that you are a good candidate??? IT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE!! you must believe in what you are doing if not there’s honestly no point in even trying! That being said, ah yee jane told me about Uncle Yong Chun’s story of how he single handedly created the company and managed its success, even though he was born without a silver spoon. He was willing to suffer and do construction work to earn bits to fund his own local uni education, and eventually he achieved success. He never gave up on himself, never had a submissive attitude or told himself that he is disadvantaged and can never be good enough. YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH and you honestly have to believe that! You have so much potential nat! you already have the determination part down you are just missing the part where you TRUST yourself and BELIEVE that you can do it :) :) HK LESSON #5: Grades aren’t everything | The future is unpredictable | Your choices make you

Your academic grades do not determine your future, neither is intellect a guarantor of success and wealth in life. Ah yee Jane was merely working as a clerk, Uncle Phillip didn’t do as well in school as Mummy, Uncle Teck Chee’s grades sucked so bad he had to choose the most unwanted course in poly. Look at where all of them are now. DON’T. SHORTCHANGE. YOURSELF. you have so so so much potential and capability as a person never ever view yourself in a discounted perspective and never ever shortchange yourself. Human beings are amazing and you are a human being!!! You will be able to do great things if you set your mind to it. Honestly, dont let your grades define you because being book smart only works well in the early stages of your life. but HOHO guess what? your early stages in life are over. It’s a different ball game in the working world and it’s up to YOU and your belief in yourself whether you can do it. Never ever think that just because you are less successful now, means you won’t be super successful in the future. The future is so unpredictable! Tables turn and you will never know when your efforts will just all be rewarded all at once :) HK LESSON #6: Have a Happy Heart

What’s the secret to happiness? Having a clean heart. One that is free from jealousy and judgement, from insecurities and suspicion. Free from negativity and criticism. Be simple-minded and positive, laugh at everything you see. Laugh at every little stupid story, even if its not funny. Laugh more! smile at people more! Don’t be jealous of people, and don’t feel insecure all the time. Be captured by the things around you and try to find joy in everything. Every time you want to complain, find something to be joyful about and make effort to be less critical and negative in your life. really really just be simple and happy because honestly nothing is more everlasting, authentic and long-lasting than that. Just stay strong and don’t let yourself wallow in self pity. Look at ah yee jane. honestly she could have just fallen into depression after uncle yong chun’s accident, and wallowed in self pity but she’s still so positive and cheerful and hopeful!! she’s satisfied by the smallest things in life and her monetary wealth is not the most important thing to her.

Be peaceful -- and as JJ said, why get so excited? HK LESSON #7: There is a reason for everyone’s character flaw, and mistake.

Don’t be so quick to judge and get angry when others do something wrong. Do not be so quick to make judgement and criticise them, for you do not understand their story. HK LESSON #8: People love you for who you are No matter what the results are for A levels, your relatives will still always think you are the best and they will love you no matter what. The school you go to does not matter to them at all. HK LESSON #9: It’s okay to be depressed. People Understand. It’s perfectly normal to go through hard times. Everyone has their own struggle and no family or person leads the perfect life (with the exception of people like JJ perhaps.) At the same time, speak to more adults if it helps and people actually will understand you! Don’t always think that just bc you had depression means that you’re damaged goods or that you are mentally weak. In fact, if anything you are just mentally stronger for having recovered. At the same time, this trip also made me realise that there’s so much more to life than struggling to meet people’s expectations of you all the time. just care about yourself and love yourself more. The future has so much in store! Jobs, marriage, family, friends -- there are so many people around you that love you so much in fact I feel so awful / queasy and guilty when I think about the nights where I lay in bed and told myself that no one would care if I ever died anyway, because people eventually recover and forget and get over it. SO MANY EXCITING THING LIES AHEAD NAT. As Russell said, the world is your oyster. Go out there and OWN IT. Overall, Have more confidence in yourself and love more! Sending the future me a lot of love (esp if you’re reading this after tons of rejections and poor A levels results). Just rmb! Your university doesnt determine anything, and nothing is certain in life.

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