#we end this like napoleon dynamite

[ayoyoungg]

YONGGUK GAVE US A LIL DANCEY DANCE

[cypionate60mg]

I hope this is too heavy but I had plans to detransition then commit suicide because of how poorly my trans friends (who are mostly fem and nb) were treating me, making comments on how T made me uglier and they no longer felt comfortable around me since I transitioned. With this going on for years and seeing the uptick in hate towards trans masculine people with similar rhetoric I felt like it was a waste of my life and I would never be able to “fix how disgusting I made myself” but seeing your blog actually legitimately saved me because it reminded me that we are still wanted and desirable to people. Thank you so much.

I'd like to tell you about somebody very important to me, anon. His name was Earl, and it's been nearly ten years since he passed away.

I used to see Earl every winter, just visiting his side of the family. He was older than me by more than a decade, but we had a special kinship. Something I was too young to articulate or even notice.

We usually sat in the snow by a hodag statue while we caught up. For context, the hodag was a hoax cryptid invented by a timberman in the 1800s. Rows of horns, some scales, coarse hair, short legs. Like a half-reptilian minotaur. Not only was it apparently really fucking ugly, but it also smelled like a musky corpse.

The first reported encounter with the hodag ended with its defeat by dynamite. In some versions of its lore, the hodag was a reincarnation of abused livestock. In others, it was meek and melancholy, wanting only to live in the woods, undisturbed.

The last time I saw Earl, he was very withdrawn. We sat for a while in front of that statue, just silently basking in its monstrous disfigurement. I think we watched Napoleon Dynamite afterward. I remember feeling comforted that he could at least laugh, but maybe it was nothing more than a reflex at that point.

He died by suicide not long after. He didn't say anything about who he really was, just that he couldn't bear it any longer. For so long, I was unable to explain what it was that we had shared. Me and him. Him and the hodag. Me and the hodag. All three of us.

I didn't learn that he wanted to be called Earl until years later, when my grandma mentioned it off-handedly. She was the only person he ever came out to, and she told me after I came out to her. As far as I know, Earl never even considered HRT. He was afraid of what it would turn him into. That's why he tried to become nothing at all.

But that's not really how it works. Once you've come into existence, there can never be a world without some trace of you in it. We are living on a post-you planet. You as in Earl, and you as in you. By making yourself known to me, you have invested part of your selfhood in the vast, interconnected matrix of the world. Good choice.

So in the same way that this blog is for people to outsource their tenuous selfhood and need to be desired, let this particular post be specifically for you. Our own personal hodag statue, maybe, where all ugliness and beauty cohabitate as one indistinguishable thing. Know that there is something for you here. A digital landmark you can visit in times of loneliness.

I love you, anon. I'll always want you here. You can message me privately if you ever want to talk.

[thoughtroomba02]

TS Film Thoughts Masterpost

As promised.

Let's start things off -

Breaking News - Headlines about the film

Dec 9 2022 - her film contract makes headlines

From what I can find, this is the first that anyone knows she is producing a film. There are no details released other than it's a script she wrote and she will be directing the film.

The next we hear is Dec 7, 2023 from the Tennessean --

It's been crickets, essentially. There are no public details I can find about the film anywhere including cast list, release date, content, ETC.

Interestingly, two days ago -- though uncertain of validity of source -

I don't have access to puck so cannot confirm what the article says; but this was recent! So; in theory, she finishes her Eras tour and moves directly in to film.

More on how Disney+ ties in our next section...

Who is Searchlight Pictures?

Created April 29, 1994 - formerly known as Fox Searchlight/under 20th/21st Century Fox

Biggest success: Slumdog Millionaire 187 Academy Ward Nominations with 46 wins; 5 Best Picture since 2009 117 Golden Globe Nominations; 51 wins 66 Screen Actors Guild Award Nominations; 55 wins 137 Independent Spirit Awards, 54 Wins

Other Notable Films: 12 Years A Slave; Black Swan; Napoleon Dynamite;

20th century fox, prior to the creation of Searchlight, was prominent in the specialty and independent films market in the 1990s; it carried this interest into Searchlight, at least initially.

In 2012, it was incorporated into Murdoch's 21st Century Fox. Barf.

On Dec 14, 2017 Disney put their first bid out on 21st Century Fox/Fox Searchlight. On March 19, 2019 the companies merged and Disney acquired Fox Searchlight; Fox News notoriously split independently. Disney dropped the name Fox; so now we have just Searchlight Pictures. There is also a Searchlight Pictures TV and shorts production, which for the sake of time I will not get into.

For Funsies, here is a short film (Jun 18 2019, after Disney acquired) produced by them called....LAVENDER. About a gay man who has a relationship with a married gay couple. Can't make it up.

Anyway, since merging with Disney especially, the company seems to be LGBTQ friendly.

And yes, Joe Alwyn has worked with Searchlight, with tweets I found dating back to 2018 with Searchlight UK. Make of that what you would like, I have no real objective commentary on the matter.

Taylor as a Director

She also directed the Long Pond Studio Sessions and Miss Americana.

Most of her directorial work has been since the Lover debut. Most of which is very queer coded/sapphic.. and again, make of that what you will.

Appearances/Pap Walks, ETC

Since her split from JA, we have seen her with multiple friends in the film industry. Among these: Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively, Selena Gomez, Keleigh Teller, Miles Teller, Sophie Turner, Emma Stone...

And dare I say.... Travis Kelce, who seems to want to break his way into the entertainment industry?

(aside from this headline; his failed dating show, his podcast, his multiple PR deals like with ZenWater... etc. I rest my case).

We also know there has been some B roll footage taken at the Chiefs Games.

Additionally, the media coverage of this relationship has been an absolute f*cking circus; with constant headlines of the two and their "engagement" / relationship dynamics. On Taylor's end, we have had constant references to Bejeweled (where she Ghosts); including Keleigh Teller giving her the opal ring.

The Speculation

Yall, this is my opinion - you can agree, disagree, etc; but I have no insider information. Just thoughts.

She makes her film directorial debut with Searchlight - recently acquired by Disney, who is pro-LGBTQ; and is clearly in deep with business deals with them, as seen on Taylor Nation and her Eras Tour Film.

We have rumors of her beginning her film production at the end of the ERAS tour, along with knowledge of her currently with B roll footage from chiefs games. We have multiple highly papp'ed appearances with her + TK; but also with multiple film stars, including Blake Lively (still not over that photo), Sophie Turner (I do think there's altruism here tbh on TS's end), and Keleigh. If you believe Keleigh is her stand in invisible bride.... Holy shit. Between the opal ring shutdown of the media circus as well as her and TS literally taking a page out of TSHOEH and dressing in character...

My ultimate suspicion is that she's using actual experiences of her current life-highly papp'ed - to tell her story. And that Keleigh is her stand in muse in this film.

I also think the @spade-riddles we've been getting about a final act ending, etc, pertain to her film. I don't have evidence aside from speculation.

I rest my case. Enjoy this post and make of it what you will.

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

"If I look back at the scripts I received after 'Napoleon Dynamite' (2004), I think the town thought I had multiple personalities that were all a variation of that character. They probably just thought of me as someone their kids liked, but was more like the goofy kid that asked to mow their lawn, not a professional actor."

Screenwriters/husband and wife Jared and Jerusha Hess wrote the climactic dance scene for the film because they knew Jon Heder liked to dance. "Jared's wife was like, 'Jon, I hear you're pretty good dancer. I've seen you boogie; it's pretty sweet,'" recalled Heder. "And I was like, 'Well, I like to dabble.' I liked to mess around sometimes in front of friends and dance. But I did take pride in it. I won't be modest. I wasn't great but I did like to mess around...Cut to two years later: after we had shot the short, they were like, 'Okay we're going to have you dancing in the movie as the climax. This is going to make or break the film.'"

When it came to shooting the dance scene for the final film, the producers scheduled to film it towards the end of the film. When they finally got to the scene, they were running out of money and film. They only had one roll of film (approximately 10.5 minutes) left to shoot.

"It was a lot of pressure," Heder observed. "I was like, 'Oh, crap!' This isn't just a silly little scene. This is the moment where everything comes, and he's making the sacrifice for his friend. That's the whole theme of the movie. Everything leads up to this. Napoleon's been this loser. This has to be the moment where he lands a victory. He gets up there, and it's quiet: no reaction from the audience."

The dance was spontaneously improvised by Heder, with some choreography help from Tina Majorino, and additional moves taken from "Saturday Night Fever," (1977) Michael Jackson, and "Soul Train." "They were like, 'No, Jon, just figure it out.' So I just winged it. I danced three times and they took the best pieces from each of those."

"When you're shooting in independent film, you don't know what you're going to get the rights to," Heder explained. "We thought Jamiroquai might be expensive. So we danced to three different songs. To that song ("Canned Heat') and another Jamiroquai song, 'Little L.' We danced to Michael Jackson, something off of 'Off the Wall.' Just those three. And then we got the rights to Jamiroquai. And I think that was half our budget."

[Red Break]

[total-feminism-takes]

Lesbian Courtney anon here!

Courntey and Duncan are so much more than toxic exes... they are human to me.

They are both sides of the same coin that am aware of is my own soul.

Basically, this ship not all that to you but to me, Courtney is just like me in the need of PERFECT!

I crashed and failed for many years to finally get I was drowning and dying to be loved and comfort by the wrong person and my family doesn't see me as human but legacy to continue.

I love them a lot.

Courtney needs help with therapy like Duncan.

Basically they made me realize my childhood up bringing and more is not my fault but it is my fault for hitting. sprialing, and losing my sense of my reality because of no one offered to help me or realizing I was getting abused at home by own flesh and blood.

The abuse can become abusers sadly.

We don't need you to deem us as crazy abusive exes, sometimes we need to be left alone to grow and health, more help understanding what we were taught was wrong.

I was a bad person I blew up things like Duncan with fire and hit others in the name of justice I said to myself like Courtney but end of the day.

I will not be seen as not a martyr. But death and the villain of itself in most people's stories!

But I will still be branded off as abusive and awful even if I was trying to defend myself or walk away from the fight.

It's hard out here especially when we love and adopt TD characters to represent ourselves out here.

I am growing slowly but surely, I used to hate the world and everything due to the unfairness of the world and hatred brought on by others to my feet.

I couldn't just turn the other cheek when someone hits you first or threatens you at time you fight back then regret.

I want many to know sometimes we are seen as monsters and have no redemption, yet you are you are own writer and person!

Sometimes we got look in mirror and go I know I am bad, toxic, and piece shite but guess what sunshine! We are still alive and live for ourselves! We can thrive for ourselves and do better from now on!

I used to be hateful bible thumping Christian because I was raised that way, every hit was because I love you, your fault is being a women, but guess what?!

I like girls and love boys!

I love girls so much my friends think I wanted to date them since high school, but I was just trying to be affectionate and their own personal cheerleaders when needed!

It is not sin to love, or be women. It is not wrong to like to like characters like Courtney or Duncan!

I am tired of it!

Let people enjoy things! That's personal opinion! Why am going tell you what's wrong with you and what's right if I am no saint myself!

Courtney my beloved and Duncan my dove, I love you even if you just a silly parody/satire teenagers of reality tv series!

I hate that made you so awful in the end of time they could punch up with the jokes and the satire but no they doom us all with brain rot of blah blah Courtney is abusive only.

You saw how they treated Leshawna as well yet many of you racially profile her still. You bestialize and fetishize my girl and carry her with shame of no growth and tie her to white man- sorry Harold, who is basically a parody of napoleon dynamite kip and lafawnduh!!!

You cowards, shame on you only smut and fetishize for my girl Leshawna yet put Courtney to the slaughter brand her a demon and abuser without remorse.

Yet you do not humanize the women in TD fandom but brand them as awful people or make them inhuman sex dolls for you pleasure without remorse but hey hehe TD fandom so silly and accepting to all.

I want smut readers and writers to understand that you can have your own piece of cake too but goddamn! LET THEM BE MORE HUMAN AND REALSTIC IN SOME WAYS!

BODY HAIR

PERIODS

BODY ISSUES

FORBBIEN ROMANCE DUE TO NOT RACE THINGS BUT SOMETHING ELSE!

I am not good person I know but I have my own brain to tell me that. I love Courtney, she did a lot for me because she wasn't perfect. I don't love because oh she must hate Gwen. No. I like Gwen but I hate that you guys think she's saint (I feel like you- most think pale skin tone people or cartoons do no wrong ever) Gwen is complex like everyone in TD. You guys just sleep on Gwen to make her your weird plaything to have someone to ship with but no growth or her own standing in some cases.

Oh to the point when I say Courtney can do nothing wrong and is saint I snort (I say that a lot my readers might think I don't see her as a bad guy ever which tbh not true) I snort because that's wrong! She's so bad and needs be better for herself not to be "FIX"

Love you guys...

XoXo

From someone who is Duncan Stan of heart and Courtney Stan in her DNA and loves Dunceny ship.

Mostly I relate to Duncan more in chaos and Courtney in cry and tantrums because I get too overwhelmed to speak with my brain goes time to scream and rage now! As a teenager I was more of mini-Duncan with a mess of Courtney Action you saw!

Yes, I am getting help now, I am being diagnosed with stuff (OH ACT SHOCK!!) and I will take therapy and pills as needed.

The point is we can spare a bit humanity along the way, F U you to your abusive partners, and I am not telling you stay with them or humanize them!

RUN AWAY AND STAY AWAY FROM THEM TOO!

From someone who barely escaped they're on and off again abusive relationship. I was the "Courtney" in the relationship but behind closed doors he was awful, I cried so much, and he told me to die often but the world only saw a teenager girl and young adult me acting like "COURTNEY" and didn't help me but blamed me for it.

Anyway, if you love Courtney or Duncan, it's not your fault others don't!

You don't need them? You don't need valid your love for anything or likes in this world!

Abuse is harsh and comes in many forms than one.

I am bad person I know- I used to be my first mantra since I was 16 years old now.

I go I was not a healed person back then just a child who didn't know better, my actions have consequences, I regret, I let go, and I relearn to grow, and I heal slowly but surely. I am not my father, I am not my abuser, I am not my abuse, it's okay to like this, it's okay they don't like this or me!

I am allowed to live and I am allowed to like this if makes me happy. Then I can block them or mute them if it really hurts me!

That's all.

I did my first session of therapy in long time and I saw post the Courtney pushed to only to the role of "crazy abusive ex" of Duncan's which is harsh especially I have to live through it still.

It's embarrassing at 24 years old people act like I chained up my ex-boyfriend to be with me and that I was the controlling abuser when they don't know the whole story or how much he threatened to off himself or me if I left him. Then he cheats on me through the whole relationship, and I have to stay in it because I loved him and feared him.

Duncan wasn't like my ex.

And Courtney wasn't like me.

But I love them because they are just silly characters and ship that I enjoy and work through my own bullshit. And say I did love a lot but no more to that, but I can love again in forms in these silly dumb cartoons and make them kiss sometimes as fanfic writer!

Anyway, love you all and sorry for ranting my nonsense again peace out girl scouts but mother nature needs to be saved with love and money these days-sadly no money, but I can clean up the beaches and feed the stray cats now!

Treat yourself with not needed valid your existence or but I love them to random haters or people that just don't give a F about anything but their own mind...

You can like things too without needing explanation, honey! You got this!

BLOCK THEM IF THEY DON'T LEAVE YOU ALONE!

- 🧡

[cakeofthepan]

I have officially found my favorite Matt joke of all time and had to preserve it forever

[Audio Transcript:

[Mahalageasca from the Borat Soundtrack Plays]

Lincoln: Um, Normal are you gonna stay dressed like that? Do you want like-

Normal (Borat): This is the way we dress in Kazakhstan uhhh?

Freddie: Yes, yes Kazakhstan

Normal (Borat): Kazakhstan yeah

Lincoln: Okay

Normal (Pickle Rick): Yeah that’s right, that’s how we dress is, I’m a pickle and I turned myself into that and I’m the best science fiction show of the last… 400 years. 5000 years. Rick and Morty. Great. I just realized, I’ve gotta voice the problematic guy that’s super fun, that’s a super fun thing for the guy who’s got anxiety on the podcast. He’s the- he’s never worried about people getting mad at him about anything, he’s never stressed out, it’ll be great.

Scary (Napoleon Dynamite): Normal, does it suck that like half of your like thing’s like racist too?

Normal (Pickle Rick): Oh God!

[laughter]

Lincoln: Normal, hey, look. Listen, look at me, we’re on a team okay?

Will: 4 eyes stare at you

Freddie: [laughs]

Link: The only thing that matters is saving the world

Normal (Borat): Hey Link it’s me Normal, I’m still in here ahhh

Link: Yeah okay good

Freddie: And two- and by the way two of your eyes are like squiggles, you know what I’m saying. Fucking weird.

Link: Do not- do not be worried. Say whatever you need to say to be funny. There is no- [laughter] nothing wrong- [laughter] the only thing that matters is saving our family. Do not worry about-

Stewie: That’s right, no one’s safe here baby

Link: Just let it free baby. Just let it free. Nobody- nobody’s gonna hear this [laughter]. Your parents aren’t gonna hear this. We can’t get in trouble down here. The only thing that matters is being funny. Okay?

Normal (Pickle Rick): You’re right uhh

Link: Like I get it, I feel guilty. It’s like, is it survivors guilt? That I got Garfield and all of you are stuck having to be funny. That’s okay. I won’t judge you if you save our lives so just be funny. Okay?

Normal (Borat): Okay, you tall… dumb… American man

Link [with absolutely no trace of laughter]: That’s pretty good! I… laughed

[everyone except Will laughing]

Link: Okay, so let’s, okay.

[music fades out]

[laughter]

Anthony: Alright Beth, what did you get?

Beth: Oh god I’m so scared, okay

Anthony: It’s, yours is not as bad

Beth: Okay, okay.

Matt: I’m so glad I didn’t sign this thing, god. You know what?-

Normal (Pickle Rick): Truly this is a cursed world we live in. Bleeeh eeehhhh

Matt: You know what? I’m not religious but… I do feel like it was the hand of god that made me come up with this Garfield fact that got me out of doing this, so [laughter] I think I might fucking go back to the faith

End Transcript]

[mortiflyer]

thank youuuu @drunkenromantic for the tag ily moots

Do you make your bed?

generally yes but I do a pretty shit job

Favourite number?

it’s fifteen because when I was little we had a best of the Beatles cd and yellow submarine was number fifteen and my favorite song at the time!

What's your job?

I tutor English at my college

 If you could go back to school, would you?

still in it so I can’t say but I love school so probably

Can you parallel park?

cannot drive

Do you think aliens are real?

nope but I also just wouldn’t care if they were

Can you drive a manual car?

still can’t drive

Guilty pleasure?

none, if it makes you cringe you don’t like it enough

Tattoos?

I have a note in my phone of ones I want but none yet

Favourite colour?

black or blue!

Favourite type of music?

any rock, but I like metal a lot. On the other end of the spectrum I listen to a lot of kpop

Do you like puzzles?

I love puzzles and board games and playing cards and the like! I’m a big collector of trinkets

Any phobias?

being buried alive I guess??? 

Favourite childhood sport?

been riding horses since I was eight and it’s my favorite thing in the world

Do you talk to yourself?

every second of every day

Tea or coffee?

tea if I was held at gunpoint

First thing you wanted to be when growing up?

astronaut, then veterinarian (which I am sticking to as a career path)

What movies do you adore?

my absolute favorite movie of all time is Disney’s Hercules and in general I love kids movies. Rise of the guardians, back to the future and such. I’m a huge napoleon dynamite fan and I own multiple items of dead poets society merch

gonna tag @arfield, @cissi-sh01, and @friedpestochicken so reply if you feel like it <3

[chaotictomtom]

thank you @transfagadam for tagging me!!!

last song: S.O.S by Makala ft. Varnish La Piscine...... i will never not get rid of my radio suicide album obsession.......

favorite color: i like all colours i love painting with any colours...... clothes wise i'm more an earth tones + black clothes guy with occasional red or blue !!!

last movie/last show: watched the very last episode of doom patrol yesterday</333 sobs sobs sniffles </33333 and rewatched napoleon dynamite for some comfort lol

sweet/spicy/savory: ALL OF THEM im not picky, but might prefer sweet and spicy over savory.

relationship status: teehee... twirls hair kicking feet... i have a bf 😌

last google: zeeman 🗿 it's a cheap store we got in france, wanted to check out their yarn and crochet stuff cos i really want to get into crochet

current obsession: saw and breaking bad constantly on the back burner of my mind at all times. but i've been lately playing the better mc modpack and loooove it so much the farmer's delight and the other similar mods in this pack is leaving me back to hyperfocus on minecraft for hours on ends

tags: anyone who wants to do it!!!! im too shy to tag people im so sorry </3333

[fanficg12023]

The adventures of the three little pigs and the Big Bad Wolf in the Animal Farm

Luíza Buzzetti and Gustavo Catapano

Synopses:

What if the three little pigs and the Big “Bad” Wolf had been in the Animal Farm, what would they have done?.The three little pigs were bought by Napoleon from Mr. Pilkington 's farm,  but the animal farm was still suffering from the authoritarianism of the leader napoleon. What would the pigs do to stop Napoleon being cruel and cold with everyone? The seasons change but Napoleon never falls. Until now.

Fanfic:

The three little pigs woke up in a different pigsty. This was their first day out of Mr. Pilkington's farm. They weren’t used to this new farm called the Animal Farm. Napoleon entered the room and said that all the little pigs on the farm would have to start studying how to attack the vill, using weapons of any kind or even dynamites to avoid the humans. Those Napoleon lessons were not an option for any pig on the farm. Napoleon used to say that “the future of animal farms is in the hands of these little pigs”. William Shakespig, the smartest pig, learned the entire alphabet in two weeks. Harry Pigter and Porkahontas weren’t able to learn at the same pace as Shakespig. In the third week, Napoleon entered the class with dynamites in his right pig paw, and started to teach them how to activate it and use it. The three little pigs had kept this information in their minds for a long time… One day, the three little pigs saw the big bad wolf getting beaten and being kicked out of the farm, making him run away to the neighbour farm. They listened to Napoleon saying that the violence and the craziness of the wolf could represent a threat to the pig's dynasty on the farm. Porkahontas said that it didn't seem fair and that they should do something about it. William Shakespig agreed and suggested that they should use the dynamites that they had learned how to use during Napoleon's classes, to make justice with their own hands. The night after the Big Bad Wolf had been kicked out, he came back in the middle of the night to try stealing food from Animal Farm. Harry Pigter woke up with the strange noise of the wolf’s steps. Harry woke up his two brother pigs, so they could investigate what the wolf was doing around there. The three pigs walked silently after the Big Bad Wolf, following him step by step. When the wolf was entering the storehouse, he noticed three shadows walking beside him in the dark, the little pigs had been noticed. He tried to slap and beat Porkahontas, but she was able to dodge. Then, William Shakespig tried to talk with the wolf: - Stop you two, we don’t need to fight over this kind of thing. - I thought it was someone else, my bad. - Is fine but listen, me and my brothers know your hate for Napoleon because he expelled you from the farm and everything else. So we were thinking that maybe we could get at some agreement. - Interesting. Procede. - Well, as I think you know, we are here at this farm. But even living here for a month we can notice from now what Napoleon has been doing with all the animals here, and how he is taking everything that all the animals worked so hard to achieve. My point is that we could work together to end up with this whole cruel regime. We could do something to change this. - And don’t you think I've tried this? I’ve been here for 10 years. There is nothing we can do about it except to accept our fate. Now you guys should get some sleep before anyone else notices any of you. If some Napoleon dog finds you here, you guys will end up like me. The wolf took a few more steps forward, opening the door to the food storage until one of the pigs grabbed him by the paw and said: - Think about us, think about all the animals that will be born, live, and die in the same, or even worse conditions than we are now. With your help, we could make the animal farm great again. At this moment the wolf stopped for a second. After a moment of silence, he turned to the little pigs and said:

Okay, what's the plan? Immediately, the pigs and the wolf entered the food storage to discuss their strategy to overthrow Napoleon. After a lengthy conversation, they decided that the following night, they would invade the main house and steal the money Napoleon had acquired from selling Boxer to the slaughterhouse. With this money, they would buy as many dynamites as possible from Mr. Pilkington's farm. The piglets had not forgotten how to use this type of weapon, thanks to the human attack classes taught by Napoleon. So, when everyone was asleep in the middle of the night, they would detonate the main house, regardless of who was inside. With this, the farm would be free from Napoleon forever, at last. The morning was dark. The rain made noise on the roof, and the lightning illuminated the sky. The three little pigs started to run through the farm. They met Mr. Pilkington and talked with him. William Shakespig said: -We have the money. Where is the stuff? Mr.Pilkington only pointed to the bag that was in his hands. -Ok - Harry Pigter said. Porkahontas gave Mr Pilkington the money. He checked if the pigs gave him the right amount and gave them the bag. William Shakespig opened it and saw two big dynamites. They went to the barn as fast as they could carrying the bag. They hid it and continued their routine normally. They couldn’t sleep during the night. Suddenly they listened to the steps of the wolf. They opened the door of the barn to The Big Bad Wolf. He seemed to be angry. He didn’t say anything, got the dynamites, and left the barn. He ran to the main house, put the dynamites in the front door, looked after someone, and called the three little pigs. Willian Shakespig, the smartest, made the dynamites work. Then, Every animal on the farm could hear the “Boom”. At dawn, the sun came out of the woods shinier than ever. Animal Farm woke up free from Napoleon's oppressive control, and the animals, initially surprised, began to realize that freedom was possible. The piglets and the wolf, now seen as heroes, led the way to a new era of equality and justice on the farm. Napoleon's legacy was finally shattered, and the farm became a place where all animals could live in harmony living by the seven commandments and the good and old animalism.

[popculturebuffet]

Pirate Week: Jack of All Trades Floundering Father and Shark Bait Reviews: Bizzaro Blackbeard (Comissoned by Weirdkev27)

Ahoy me hearties and welcome back to Pirate.. two consecutive days. Today we look at one of the most infamous scourges to ever sail the seven seas, Blackbeard!

No not that one.

Sadly not him either. I gotta get back to that series sometime. Maybe next month. No instead of talking about the good blackbeards we're talking about the version from Jack of All Trades.

Before we can get into this disapointment, let's talk about the show itself.

Jack of All Trades was syndicated show in 2000, lasting for two seasons (one 16 episodes the other 8) and part of the back2back action hour with Cleopatra 2525, about an exotic dancer who gets put in cryo sleep and winds up leading a revolution against robots.

Like Cleopatra 2525, Jack of All Trades likely would've been lost ot the sands of time were it not for one man, it's star, your surrogate uncle and mine, the man the myth the chin BRUCE MOTHERFUCKING CAMPBELL. Kev seems determined to one day have me review everything bruce has been in.. which will probably include mchale's navy by the end

For now though this is the good stuff, as jack was also executive produced by Bruce's ride or die best buddies Robert Tapert and Sam Rami.

Jack follows Jack Styles, america revolutionary war hero and either ash williams great great great great great grandpa.. or possibly a time lost Ash Williams who became his own grandpa Phillip J Fry style. The world will never know.. until Dynamite FINALLY does a crossover for it. Come on guys. It's fish in a barrel. Kev even pitched the crossover to me: Ash goes back in time and has to team up with Jack to stop Napoleon from getting his hands on the necronomicon.

Anyways back to the premise: Jack is tapped by president jefferson to go to the french ruled island of Pualu-Pualu in the east indies and stop the various plots of the french. His contact, partner and object of romantic tension is british scientest Emilia Rothschild, played by Angela Dotchin. Jack masquerades as Emilia's houseboy, then goes into actoin as the Darring Dragoon. Yes folks this is also basically a superhero show. The two frequently foil the local Govenor Croque, ocasionally napoleon himself.. and hilariously enough often also scheme to keep Croque in power as his incompetence makes their jobs easier than if Napoleon sent people with actual talent. It's both a great setup and a purposfully thin one: within this the duo can do just about any nonsense the writers want. This includes, just from wikipedia episode blurbs: Jack having to beat Napoleon in poker to keep the louisana purchase, help croque fuck his wife better, get cathrine the great her horse back so she dosen't blow up the island, and get amnesia via a pig. The show is really just an excuse for slapstick nonsense, wordplay, our two leads to banter, and for every man on the island to hit on amelia to remind you this show was made in 2000 and everybody was super extra triple horned up those days. So how did my first round of getting to know jack pan out? Why does this blackbeard suck so much? How does leonardo divinci factor into all of this? Join me under the cut to find out.

The Floundering Father: This episode SHOULD have been an easy slam dunk. I mean look at the image I chose. Really look at it. It has Bruce Campbell in an old timey sleeping outfit. Bruce Campbell, already in his pajamas. That visual gag alone should've won this 29 emmys.

But.. the rest of the episode simply dosen't live up to that glorious image you see. It's main problem is it's running gag for the episode: Jack and Emilia bicker about which is better, America or England. Which is laughable today as while I love my country, we've got a dumptruck load of problems.. and so does the uk. It dosen't work character wise because while I get this show is over the top and what not, I do... it dosen't paint the best picture of emilia that she's overdefnding a country that till very recently opressed Jack's country. I get it's her homeland and the man later says he wishes he could put her boobs on a teddy bear

But it's still pretty tone deaf to tell your partner "Golly the people who opressed yours you had to fight to get away from sure are great". I'd be able to overlook it.. if it was funny. Instead it's just every two minutes or so "AMERICA GREAT" "NO BRITAN" "AMERICA" "BRITANNNN" "AMERICAAAAAAA FUCK YEAH " "BRITAN FUCK YEAH " "mericamericaMERICACAAAAA" "BRITANBRITANJOLLYGOODPIPIPBRITAN"

It drags down the episode every. fucking time. And this being the first jack of all trades I saw had me worried their like this EVERY TIME. Thankfully the next ep, which we'll get to shortly, settled more into the two just bantering and nicely complimenting each other as a team: emilia is the brains and creates vehicles and inventions and such to help them, while jack is the more wordly brawn, able to use his fists and spycraft while loudly complaning and making puns and what not. They have way more chemistry there then here where it just gives me a migraine.

That said it's not ALL their fault the episodes a bit of a slog. Mostly but still Blackbeard dosen't help. Blackbeard is played by Hori Aphene here and credit to the show for casting a POC actor. I didn't even know historical blackbeard wasn't white till our flag means death. The character himself is just .. mostly shouting and being gross.

God bless HOri he's trying really hard, it's the writing that lets him down. I will give this version points for breathing fire

but all the shouting in the world can't make this character funny, threatning or remotely intresting and it only gets worse next episode.

The combo of the lackluster guest star and bickering just makes this one a chore to get through but there are SOME bright spots of light. Croque and his minon, Brogard, pull a clever plan, having Brogard take Benjamin's franklin's place as hostage.

The main saving grace of this episode though is Benjy himself: for starters he's kindapped for the most gloriously stupid reason imaginable: Napoleon wants to force him to build a super weapon to destroy the white house. That itself would be good.. but what takes it over the top and really told me what this show true form is.... the weapon is a GIANT KITE. Yes they took the one thing any person knows about ben franklin and made it into a doomsday device. I fucking love everything about this. This alone got my interest back.

Ben Himself is just a lot of fun. While some of the jokes are just him eating a lot aka

Outside of that he's great, and his little mentorship with elizabeth, both being in awe of her designs and helping her figure out why her sub's engine's not working is genius. Elizabeth's submarine itself looks great. The climax.. is also a lot of fun. The Dragoon battles blackbeard while as Jack he eventually has to hold two wires together and gets after effects lightninged all over. It's wonderfully dumb.

All in all this episode is just..

Has some highlights towards the end but most of the first two acts are a slog. Thankfully the next one's MOSTLY better.

Shark Bait

This one is better... though just to get it out of the way blackbeard is far worse. While he wasn't great in the first, the pirate ship was at least fun for a climax and he had the delightfully insane quirk of breathing fire. Here it just takes all his traits that made him hard to watch the constant shouting, the poor hygine jokes him creeping on elizabeth.. and..

I have to adress this in a bit more detail. The show is REALLY creepy with elizabeth at times, both with the fanservicy outfits (which are less to show off her sexuality and indepnednce and more LOOK EVERYONE BOOBS), the whole teddy bear joke but especially blackbeard who JUST WON'T STOP hitting on her and the show treats it like a wacky joke. I get this is the 2000s, it's why it dosen't destroy the episode for me but it's still just gross and I suspect something i'll have to deal with all series long. We even get a morning wood joke with jack which comes off as HAHA GET IT HE ASSAULTED HER. Her sexual indginities are treated as one big joke and it's VERY hard to stomach. Thankfully the show has a rapid fire pace to iron it out but I just.. woudln't feel right never adressing this.

But combinging with that with just "ISN'T THIS GUY GROSS JOKES" makes blackbeard fucking intolerable. Someone having pooor hygine.. just isn't funny. It wasn't funny when I was 10 and it's not funny now. Now you can MAKE someone's horrible hygine funny. Observe

Here the jokes are.. jokes. He's dirty, but they find ways to play with the joke. Someone being gross isn't funny unless you find a way to give it character. Blackbeard just shouts and smells bad. That's it. That's what they did with the character.

While BLackbeard dosen't help the episode the episode itself.. is a LOT of fun thankfully. Jack and elizabeth's banter is thankfully way more varied here, with jack being annoyed at her modes of transportation. A standout is jack preparing to fist fight the crew of the sub they've ended up on.. before Amelia points their outnumbered and they both hide. This seems more like what the series is actually like: two very diffrent people bickering and bantering and complementing each other. Jack even points out the obvious issue of using blackbeard to help them get around the ship: that he could recognize them from last time and it adds some nice tension. And ironically , if naturally it's jack who accidently blows it by mentoining her sub.

The plot itself is delightfully nuts: it starts out simple enougH: a mysterious sea monster is sinking ships going into palu-palu, and Elizzabeth ropes jack into helping it. We also get some classic bruce campbell wordplay as jack isn't pro pro bono. I swear no one else could pull that line off.

So our heroes use the sub, a nice call back, and it ends up swallowed by the monster.. which turns out to be a giant hammerhead shark shaped sub itself. That would be bonkers enough... but then we get to whose behind it: Nardo DaVinci, descendant of Leonardo Divinci. Nardo is a hell of a lot of fun, mostly berating his minons for being absolute morons, assuming a ping on the radar is just a fish, not bothering to search the sub for people and in my faviorite moment of the episode when the heroes later baricade themselves, trying to break down the door WITH A TORPEDO.

Said torpedo is the crux of Nardo's naturally over the top and hilariously stupid plan: he's invented the first, a nice little use of real world stuff before it's time. That'd be neat and all but the bonkers spice is his target: the annual founding father's father son boat cruise, where the founding families all take a trip out to sea. Just the.. concept alone is funny. Nardo helps his case by also being compitent: he repeadtely plans to have his men just shoot our heroes and ONLY gets sidetracked when Jack baits his ego.. and even then he plans to have them all shot to death right after and only looses them because Blackbeard can breathe fire. And let's face it "this pirate we're facing can breathe fire" isn't exactly something you can plan for. If your curious Nardo's crew shanghied blackbeard (and the previous ships) for his loot and have been making him swab the deck. It's also why the heroes use him at all as he ALLGEDLY knows his way around.

Our heroes escape is even more bonkers: our heroes have to SHOOT THEMSELVES OUT OF A TORPEDO TUBE. And jack has to make the lever swing since no one can pull it for him. And all of this is complete with hilariously cheap greenscreen.

Our finale is a fuckton of fun. Our heroes can't persue them in the sub since, unlike last time, it gives them no element of suprise and a boat is worse than useless. So how do they stop this dastardly da vinci?

So eliza has a hot air balloon they plan to use to huck stuff at the sub. They do end up dislodging the torpedo but have to hang loose from blackbeards farts. I.. I wish that wasn't a plot point. He figures out who they are.. but in TRYING TO MANUALLY PICK UP A TORPEDO HE FALLS DOWN AND APPARENTLY DIES DESTROYING THE SUB.. which somehow survivies fine as blackbeard is back aboard. Either way it's an awesome climax.

Overall Shark Bait is a solid episode with a fun guest star. It's brougth down because their version of blackbeard just plain sucks, but since future episodes i'll be covering don't have him, i'm happy to cover the series again. It's got a lot of fun qualiteis and let's face it i'll watch anything with bruce campbell in it, paid or not. Thanks for reading

[tomyo]

Since it's a movie already about a bunch neurodivergents, please bear with me as I go off about micro culture and The Mitchells vs. the Machines.

So a lot of people can already note the memes in the movie are very dated internet humor. I don't think I saw a joke that lived past 2011 in it. But I can't help but to also feel cognitive disconnect at the idea Katie is supposed to be born in 2003 when everything about her and her family makes her a millennial.

Before I get way too deep into it, this is just more observation on teen identity than some shitty which generation is better debate. Sociology is extremely fascinating and it's just fun to pick apart elements in film.

So like I was saying, TMvsTM feels very, early 2010s. Pretty much the only thing taking it out of that element is the wide use of smartphones and mommy blogging but even then, you could push back the time frame to 2011 and still be pretty on the mark. Siri had just come out and iPads the year before which at the time was treated as the most unneeded invention. It's pretty much around this time that the smart tech boom took off and we started to see movies make the "big tech company" story. You know exactly the one: A Steve Jobs character, some joke about a needless technological advance, the main characters wowed by shiny expensive devices, and in the end usually we realize silicon valley are too disconnected from humanity. Honestly though if you've seen the Soylent guy, they might be right. An aspect I wonder about is how LA and SanFran feel about each other. TMvsTM gave the slightest inkling of bitter resentment towards it's northern neighbor and I can't help but to wonder if the constant use of the Steve Jobs storyline is maybe a hint of a general feeling LA has.

Speaking of LA, it's pretty clear that Katie is going to Calarts. One of the reasons I think it's so dated is Animator's tendencies to rely on their own experiences; Alex Hersh making a story about twins when he himself is a twin or JG Quintel literally just making himself the main character in every series he makes. Michael Rianda was born in 1984, and while that puts him on the earlier end of millennials, it isn't hard to believe the late 00s would be a defining era of his life. Many young film and arts students flocked to YouTube in it's early years to share their creations. Again the aforementioned Alex made off the wall, Nathan of Nathan for you's various skits, and so on. And again looking at the memes used, they are specifically the type that would have been created by these film students.

So let's look at Katie's art. It tends to be mixed media collages with a sketchy hand drawn style that makes you think of Napoleon Dynamite, and the movies themselves are reminiscent of campy action hero films. She puts in a lot of dazzle effects, typography tends to have these perspective lines, and the artwork flourishes tend to be stilted and looping almost as if they were gifs on Tumblr. There's a distinct one during a still frame and I swear to God, the jittery movements while flipping it back and forth feels like it has to be a Homestuck reference. Either way, all of this points towards 80s revival, something that was in full force in the 00/early 10s. You could pull a page out of my sophmore notebook and it would easily fit in. Katie distinctly draws like a millennial teenager. This isn't to say that there are zoomers drawing this way but I think No Burnham's 8th Grade shows a nice contrast in art style.

I remember seeing this scene and the old familiarity of seeing younger kid's art in fandom tags. Where late millennials where inspired by early millennials' 80s nostalgia and adventure time adjacent cartoons, early zoomers were in turn influenced by late millennials' new grounds/YouTube flash animations and 'Calarts style' series. We each appropriate and remix our predecessor's works and the general style morphs as we go on.

The mitchells environment is also distinctly 80s. They love in a worn down one story and the interior has a lot of kitsch with it's wooden panelling and furniture, courdory couch, and even a hand knit blanket. Naturally their car is also from the 80s. We can extrapolate in general that the Mitchells are not the richest family. If you pay attention to the furniture; it's pretty clear that most was likely made by Rick. On the other hand, Calarts tuition is 50k and in one of the most expensive cities to live in and that never seems to come up as an issue. However there's one thing I'd like to point out, major property tends to reflect when a kid is born. For instance, growing up my mum drove a 90s ford taurus where my younger cousin's family drove 2000s vehicles. Cars in particular can only make it so far before needing to be replaced and that tends to hit in a 15-20 year period of regular use. Despite being called a 1993 model, the Mitchell's car looks extremely 80s and a listicle even identifies if looking more like a 1988 GM celebrity. We can see how Rick and Linda struggled financially when Katie was born but it's still a surprise they have it in 2021, 33 years and definitely over 200k miles. I also want to point to Boyhood for a moment. A great aspect of this film is we see time as it happens, and we get an honest image of life in the mid 2000s. Prior to the housing bubble, we had a period of middle class affluence where consumerism was at an all time high. The image of suburban living would have been a beige carpeted room, Ikea furniture, and a saggy microsuede couch in front of a theatre system.

[deadmandairyland]

Came up with another concept for a possible Super Daryl Deluxe fic in the future if I can come up with more specific details for it:

A somewhat more mundane AU with no world-ending or teenager-murdering plots (man, this seems to crop up a little too often in media I like). It’d have some on-the-nose title, like “The Surprisingly Mundane Adventures of Daryl Whitelaw” or something, but it would still be a bit crazy, kinda like BakaTest (but without the summoned beasts) or maybe even Nichijou if I’m feeling ambitious.

Here are some basic ideas floating around my head:

Daryl has an overactive imagination but almost never speaks (which is pretty much canon already). Basically in this universe, even if it turned out that Daryl actually does believe the events of the game happened, it’s all in his head (which I think could actually be a funny concept, and it’s even touched upon somewhat in the game before eventually blindsiding you with a “Holy shit, this stuff is actually happening” epiphany).

Daryl can speak but is super awkward and doesn’t really know how to speak to people. On the rare occasions that Daryl does speak, he of course sounds like Napoleon Dynamite.

Instead of being an isolated girl living in the vents, Princess is something of a queen bee at the school (with Daryl being completely convinced that she’s literally royalty and an ice queen that’s waiting for a dashing prince to thaw her or whatever). She’d be kind of a Pacifica Northwest kind of character, and her name would literally just be Princess Bavarius because why not.

Eli Bavarius is not an eons-old doomsday supervillain, but something like... idk, a superintendent or some kind of government official? Someone that still has a lot of power over the school and is a bit of a dick. He can still have a skull for a face though, I think that would still fit the story. Maybe a result of the escalator incident? Will the escalator get a Historical Villain Upgrade in this? These are the real questions.

In the same vein of Eli still having the skull for a face, Vice Principal Robatto can still be a robot, again because why not.

Potential Love Interests (TM): So if Daryl is both our Archie and basically our hilariously clueless harem anime protagonist, Princess would obviously be our Veronica. Beyond that, I think Abby and Skill Sorceress (OOF, that’s going to be the hard part, coming up with names for the DnD characters. I don’t want to be calling Skill Sorceress, well, “Skill Sorceress” the entire time, and I don’t want to confuse everyone by calling her “the Homestuck” the whole time either) would make for good Bettys. Plenty of comedic potential there. As for the gay option I’m thinking... Saving Instructor (who I also need to come up with a name for because “Saving Instructor” doesn’t even make sense outside of a video game and I’m not calling him “the Weeb” the whole time either). We never see what’s under the Goku mask either, maybe he removes it at some point and he turns out to be a bishonen all along, complete with sparkles.

No, Paul and Alan will not be love interests for Daryl. I can’t do that to poor Daryl. I can do a lot of things to poor Daryl, but not that.

Possible Side Ships (TM): So right now all I’m thinking is that if I don’t end up pairing Abby with Daryl I’m probably going to pair her with either Monica or Claire, and if I don’t pair her with Claire then I'm probably going to pair Claire with Steve (insert haha funny Resident Evil joke here), but that’s pretty much all I can think of at the moment.

Non-Romantic Character Dynamic of Note (TM): I want Time Knight and his sister to be major characters. I just love their whole dynamic of the sister being like “My brother is the coolest, he’s the best brother ever and roleplaying with him is so much fun!” and meanwhile Time Knight is just the biggest delusional asshole on the planet. I don’t think we ever see them on screen together in the game so just imagining scenarios where they’re interacting is fun.

Anyway, that’s all I got for now. I mean it’s a lot to go off of, but actually coming up with a coherent plot out of this is the hard part. Only time will tell if we will see anything come out of either this or my “Super Abby Advance” idea.

[vincentmatthews]

Getting To Know Me~♡

🌱Tagged By:

@timaeusterrored 💕 I live rent-free in their ask box and they allow me to bother them constantly about their characters. I should get the guts to dm them to try and make friends but I'm scared I'll come off as weird so I just live in their questions.

Translation: *BARKBARKBARK*

🌱Favorite Color:

Baby blue, Sunflower yellow, and Neon orange

🌱Currently Reading:

Co-writing/Roleplay -> Humiliation with @crimsonixx We've been keeping that discord channel active since Nov 28, 2021

Book -> I'm Glad My Mom Died. I've heard great things of this book and decided to pick up a copy to read on my road trip this weekend. {Granted I don't get car sick and end up with my face in a plastic bag 90% of the ride.}

Other than that, nothing much, I need to sit down and read You Regret Me. Maybe I'll pick it up this coming weekend so I have something to read while we drive down to Nevada. Even if I have to screencap the pages and read it through my gallery.

🌱Last Song:

{Link}

🌱Last Movie:

I did a double feature which were: Juno {it's become a comfort movie} and Napoleon Dynamite {it's nostalgic}.

🌱Last Series:

I don't know if podcasts count, and if so, then it's gotta be Distractible on Spotify {now with video episodes! :3}

As for TV shows, the last series I watched was the original older episodes of SpongeBob because they were nostalgic as fuck. Like Krusty Krab pizza episode, that's top-tier work right there.

🌱Sweet, Savory, or Spicy?

All, I'm not picky. But Salty and Sweet is amazing~♡ Like a salted caramel~♡ {Do y'all pronounce it as Car-mel? Or like Cara-mel?}

🌱Craving?

A beat up John Wick so I can run him a hot bubble bath, give him face kisses, and cover him in Hello Kitty Band-aids. Also someone get my man two wolves as pets.

🌱Tea or Coffee?

I love a good London Fog~♡ Sadly, I have a more Caffeine lean as of late. And nothing tastes better than a good ol' cuppa joe in the mornin'.

🌱Currently Working On:

Fanfic/Small depressing story -> Summer Rain, which is a sequel to another writing I'm not done with. Summer Rain goes more into Vince losing his sensation of touch and registering the difference between hot and cold. It leads more into why he left in the middle of the night. Which is where my first one picks up.

Fanfic/Requested Story -> I Don't Want To Live Forever. I posted a small WIP section of this before. It's a small ship story for @crimsonixx with their O.C. Jess and Johnny. It's a wholesome story where they drive around NC on her bike late at night, enjoying each other's company. It's one of the times Johnny shows his more sensitive and "human" side.

Fanfic/Special Writing -> Small gift writing between my OC Vinessa/Vinny and another user's OC. I won't give too much away since they don't know I'm writing it. My favorite section so far is Ker screaming at Vinny from the upstairs bedroom window.

I have a whole lot more that I'm working on. I kinda bounce around from writing to writing. 90% of the time they get finished, it just takes a while. The other 10% get locked away and never see the light of day. :3

🌱Random thing about me:

♡I love bees and honey.

♡My favorite comfort game is Slime Rancher and Firewatch💕

♡I'm 5ft 5in. But I wish I was 6ft 1in. I feel short. >:(

♡My favorite type of weather is summer thunder storms

♡My favorite fruit are strawberries and watermelon.

♡I have a jack-shit named Buddy. :3

♡My favorite horror movie is Scream because Matthew Lillard is a babe~♡ {Side note: I'm so excited for FNAF because Matthew's going to be in it x3 It's about time our Scream Daddy was in another horror movie~♡}

♡I've stayed in a haunted hotel before~♡

♡My favorite holidays are Halloween and Christmas 💕

♡My passions are cooking and writing~♡

🌱Tagging:

@crimsonixx and whoever else has seen this, and hasn't already participated, consider yourself tagged💕

[gummy-goblin]

Of course I have the right person! Sorry if I came off too strong though. I just. I think about you too much. I come on here every day just to see what you post. It's like I'm microdosing falling in love with you through your Tumblr posts.

I read your blog like columns on a newspaper containing the most important events of our time and I can't get enough. I want to know so much more about you. I find you so breathtaking in every sense of the word and I've barely even scratched the surface of getting to know you.

But I've learned that I'm obsessed with your sense of humor. I love your adoration for Snoopy and nature and art and your endless self care/self improvement reminders. They help me so much. Sometimes it feels like you're talking directly to me. But I know they're for you. And it makes me wonder what you're feeling when you reblog them and what you're going through and I want to ask and I want to know everything you've ever been through. I want to know you like no one ever has. I want to be there for you like no one ever has.

I especially love your music taste. You're one of the few people who post music that if I don't recognize the song, I still play it because I know I'm gonna love it and end up adding it to my playlist. I was so worried when I sent you Trees that you were gonna be like oh fuck off this song isn't good or this song isn't my vibe at all. When you liked it, I floated for weeks. Still am, tbh. I feel like Kip from Napoleon Dynamite. "She liked my Spotify recommendation so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious..."

brb ascending to the heavens 😭 no need to apologize i appreciate ur kind messages more than u know 💌

however I am much more lame irl and would hate to disappoint u but maybe we can get to know each other and see what happens

[anintelligentoctopus]

Very specific memories of Looney Tunes/Merrie Melodies and other cartoons I watched when I was about 5:

The duck season-rabbit season-Elmer season bit - ‘We’re hunting Elmers!’

Daffy Duck stuck in the desert and crumbles into a pile of dust - ‘Anyone for instant duck? Just add water’

‘Shoulda taken the left turn at Albuquerque’

Bugs digging his tunnel and emerging in a bullring and doing some bullfighting

Bugs emerging in Napoleon’s?? palace? (I don’t remember, it was a long time ago) - ‘They take the low road and I’ll take the high road [or vice-versa] and I’ll be in Scotland[??] before them’ and Bugs singing the same thing later

‘You wouldn’t hit a bat with glasses on, would you?’ - Didn’t he also turn into a baseball bat with batwings?

The trick-or-treating in what must have been It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown - Charlie Brown having trouble with cutting the eye holes in his sheet and it being full of holes - Everyone recognising Pigpen with his cloud of dirt and he goes ‘how did everybody know it was me?’ - Getting back to the house after trick-or-treating and changing into their costume masks

Charlie Brown running a race, getting in the lead and then not noticing the track turns so he just keeps running in a a straight line off the track, eyes closed thinking he’s way in the lead

Sitting on the side of a baseball game and Lucy’s told told Charlie Brown not to talk or make or sound or she’ll never speak to him again (don’t remember why). He finally gulps and Lucy yells that shell never speak to him again ‘but I will yell at you a lot!’

Charlie Brown realising he’s not going to see the little red-headed girl again until September

Daffy as a private eye telling a femme fatale she’s guilty and that it’s written all over her face and the word ‘guilty’ appears al over her face before she covers it up with a powder puff

The channel I watched all this on (Boomerang. I guess we briefly had Sky around about 2001-2002? idk I was 5) doing a tribute to Chuck Jones in between programs with a portrait of him being ‘drawn’ with ‘we’ll miss you’

Noticing Chuck Jones’ name in the credits a lot and that sometimes he was credited as Charles Jones or Charles M. Jones

Bugs doing a take off of Liberace? where he’s playing the piano and gives Elmer a candelabra to take ‘to George’ which Elmer then carries very carefully but iirc the candles are actually dynamite

A cartoon where someone -I think it was Yosemite Sam- yells into a canyon and the echo is a telephone operator asking who he’s calling

Noticing that sometimes it was Looney Tunes and sometimes Merrie Melodies but not really knowing the difference or why there was a difference

That short with that giant furry creature that Bugs gives a manicure to at one point to distract him

Daffy Duck arguing with the animator. I think the screen gets split in half horizontally. And something involving barrels? (that might have been another short, idk)

A farmer/backwoods-type character and his father trying to shoot Bugs in his burrow, Bugs rigs a contraption so that the barrel points out the other end of the burrow where the old guy is, so that when he yells ‘fire!’ he gets shot, Bugs strolls off singing ‘I’m Looking Over a Four Leaf Clover’ and every time he sings ‘before’ the guy shoots - Another time he sang about a three-leaf clover that he overlooked be-three

Bugs? Daffy? Bugs and Daffy? Someone else? in hospital and being assigned liquid diet while the patient in the next bed gets a big meal, so he switches the charts but winds up getting sick after the next meal and has to have bunch of holes poked in his stomach

I’m not sure, but I think I saw Rabbit of Seville?

A baseball-themed Bug Bunny short which might be the same one that starts with Bugs and his nephew looking at photos and nephew asks like ‘you was a baseball pitcher too, Uncle Bugs?’ and I’m pretty sure back then I misheard ‘pitcher’ as ‘picture’ bc I didn’t know what a baseball pitcher was

Other more vague/general memories:

Yosemite Sam and for years not knowing how ‘Yosemite’ was actually pronounced

Woody Woodpecker’s laugh

Lots of Tom and Jerry

Duck Dodgers in the 24th-and-a-half century!! (might have been that specific cartoon, I’m not sure)

The 90s Taz-Mania cartoon (mostly the theme song and Taz’s whirlwind thing)

Never getting to watch Thunderbirds bc it was on past my (early. bc I was 5) bedtime

A lot of Roadrunner and Wile E. Coyote

The Flintstones

Top Cat

Linus and his blanket, Schroeder and his piano

[bumpscosity]

we need more movies like napoleon dynamite. shit just happens and then it ends.