#we love to see it🖤

[daz4i]

i think this is the most genuine emotion we've seen from nikolai ever. and the fact he seems unsure about how he's feeling, how it's seemingly contradicting, imo works really well with his character

he's all about saying things that contradict each other and imo, there is always some truth to both sides of what he says

so. here. i think some part of him was happy to be free of his only bond... but then it got overtaken with the part of him that realizes this bond wasn't. like. as constricting as he first thought

it seems that at the end of it all he somehow even WANTED to get that bond running deeper. imo, it was to feed both sides of him - the side that wants to be free can't actually prove his free will if they weren't that close in the first place, they barely interacted before, it's almost like killing any other person. on the other hand, he also genuinely likes fyodor and wants to be closer bc well. he is "perfectly sane". he is, underneath it all, still a person deep down, as much as he might hate that.

when fyodor threatens to take him out in the future he doesn't seem scared, but he also doesn't seem particularly excited i think? (or maybe that's just how he expresses his genuine, non-performative excitement, who knows.) at the same time, he also doesn't seem to want to kill him now, to follow him, like he's keeping it for that new game he was just promised

but then fyodor dies. and he won't get a chance to play it. and in a way, that takes from his freedom too, isn't it? his freedom to choose how his bond with fyodor will be. in a way, fyodor dying took away from his free will.

i truly believe nikolai is. maybe not selfish but certainly self-centered or self-serving enough to be sad over, and forgive me for this analogy, his toy getting broken. I'm certain he's also genuinely sad about his only friend dying, and so gruesomely too, but i wouldn't be surprised if at his core this is what makes him this sad. and i think that also leads to his conflicting emotions about fyodor's death

i also think that thing dazai pointed out about fyodor's lack of trust plays a part in nikolai's grief here. to him, fyodor is the only one who understood him, the only one who made him feel seen, and as far as we know the only person who was important to him. but he probably knew the feeling wasn't mutual. still, this was the nail in the coffin, confirming fyodor never saw him as a friend as well, not even as an ally.

i don't have an actual conclusion here, just speculation on nikolai's internal turmoil and how he might feel now. i really hope (and expect) we will see him again, and i wonder if this event will change anything about him.

i speculated in the past that his eye cover is a symbol of his bond with fyodor. and today, he took it off after fyodor died. i wonder, if the next time we see nikolai, he will still wear it or not (or possibly wear a new one). i guess we'll see!

[afterthedreamer]

to be loved

is to be changed

[politemagic]

Okay I absolutely adored that fruit salad question, so I'm bringing it to you! Musical fruit salad from your favourite artist, 5 fruit minimum, go go go 💙

oh boy i love this question so much okay okay okay i really couldn't decide if i would rather do sleep token or twenty one pilots... so you will ALSO get two fruit salads!!

my fruits:

strawberry 🍓 <- one of their more popular songs that i would show someone who had never heard of them before blueberry 🫐 <- it may seem like just a little tune, but to me the album would NOT be the same without it melon 🍈 <- she may not be for everybody, but real ones will appreciate these underrated tracks (underratedness was determined by spotify streams not science) kiwi 🥝 <- we're adding a lil something special to this fruit salad. these are songs that are near and dear to me cherry 🍒 <- my personal favorite fruit, so my personal favorite song

sleep token salad:

🍓 The Summoning - it's the song that seems to have really set them on their current trajectory, and it is indeed a fucking BANGER so if i'm trying to get someone into sleep token, this would be my go-to

🫐 DYWTYLM - honestly didn't really like it on my first listen to the album, but on my second go round i could not BELIEVE i ever felt that way. it is so incredibly necessary to the overall album + vessel's journey and i will defend her until my dying breath.

🍈 Drag Me Under & Descending - i really couldn't pick between these two UNDERrated queens get it? get it? i'm so sorry . but there was one morning that i was listening to my sleep token playlist watching the sunrise on my back porch and these songs played back to back and tbh it was a spiritual experience

🥝 Take Me Back to Eden - i actually can't stress enough the personal significance that this song has to me. the line "i don't know what's got its teeth in me / but i'm about to bite back in anger" is in total honesty the thing that motivated me to get the help that i needed during the darkest time in my life. i can't talk about it or i WILL cry

🍒 Aqua Regia & Telomeres - it's my fruit salad so i get to have extra cherries since they're my favorite😌 aqua regia is the baddest bitch in town to me and the guitar solo in telomeres is possibly my favorite part in any st song ever.

twenty one pilots salad:

🍓 Fairly Local - i would have chosen car radio because that was my personal introduction to them, but i think fairly local is more representative of where they are now musically. (but if i was to pick a first album i would def be showing them vessel)

🫐 Neon Gravestones - not sure how universal this is, but most tøp fans i know skip this song on trench but i personally have always loved it. the lyrics are phenomenal, and it's a very powerful song.

🍈 Redecorate & March to the Sea - i couldn't choose just one because i think both of these albums as a whole are underrated (listen. i know that scaled and icy wasn't their best but. those are some fucking bops okay?). whenever i need to have a good cry i listen to self-titled and march to the sea has always been my favorite from that album.

🥝 Trees - seeing them perform trees in concert was a canon event for me. my best friend, who i have known since i was 5 (and was not familiar w them at all), said she had never seen me experience emotions like i did when they performed this song. it makes me so happy that they still end shows with this song, i think its a rite of passage.

🍒 Doubt - honestly, i can't even remember why at this point but this has been my favorite twenty one pilots song since blurryface came out, it's my most played song by them FOR SURE.

[gallawitchxx]

GUESS WHO’S BACK BAAYYYBEEE?

(it’s me… tho i do wish it were rosé!mickey 😏)

[chanstopher]

guys my birthday is in a few days i’m soooo pumped 😭

[arrogantsuggestion]

We are like stars, looking up to each other~ equally beautiful, striking, awe-inspiring.

There is no need for competition when we are all winners.

[peaceeandcoolestvibes]

FELICIDAaadeEES A LA CANCER ♋️ MÁS BELLA (RAQUEL TE HACE EL PULSO), GRACIAS POR SER PARTE DE MI VIDA ❤️❤️❤️ 4 years and counting 🍰

[copiasblair]

because i spend too much time on letterboxd i got to thinking if copia had letterboxd what his top 4 would be so. here. mine's on the left copia's is on the right,,admittedly it's limited by the movies i've seen but it's fun to compare and contrast our taste in movies in general

[music-for-them-asses]

Another one for the Fletch shorts archive

[deklo]

just went to a celebration of life for someone my parents’ age and saw so many of their friends who i haven’t seen in years and they’re all the best most fun people ever :( and they’re all getting old and im also getting old :(

[partlymadeofgold]

🖤

[endlich-allein]

More boobs for Till (Los Angeles, 24-09-2022) @ olga_attack

[galaxydynamite]

💤 + kireek *cheerleader jump*

i'm not entirely sure if casts need sleep, and the thought might be unsettling to kireek since as an assassin he'd be hypervigilant of everything around him. so whenever they’re on a particularly long or grueling mission, kireek will sit watch next to marian while they sleep, making sure to eliminate any potential threats as silently as possible… if marian absolutely must take a rest, then nothing should come to disturb them while they do so - it’s cowardly and pathetic to attack someone so vulnerable! their enemies should be ashamed of being so weak.

marian wishes they could do the same for kireek, but there’s no need for that, he assures them. ‘just focus on getting stronger. i can handle them myself,’ he would say. he might get a little offended — protecting them is his job. not out of obligation, of course, but he can’t leave them be until the moment their souls clash in a heated battle… or something homoerotic like that

[pose4photoml]

Sky and Prapai storyline~ IT’S FINALLY STARTING PEOPLE. …. 🖤💙

FYI~ I will make no apologies for the amount of post that will be on my page of these two! You have been warned…

I have seen suggestions of forming a support group for those of us already obsessed with PrapaiSky ~ I believe WE will need one🖤

@bird-inacage   and @prapaiwife   just an FYI ~ I will be stocking your blogs today as you both have already been my go-to resource for these two and I know your both are just as ready as me! 

[carryonmylovelies]

omg hey hotties 😭😭 im back !