#weird distrust of sam as a fragile thing that has sam questioning the grounds of their relationship as he jumps between faithfulness
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you know the more i think about the events of season eight from sam's perspective the more i think. yeah id want to kill myself too
#like coming from being dropped into grief -> losing the foundation you were building very slowly and painfully#-> dropped right into hatred and disbelief -> some semblance of hypocrisy that he also didn't have any right feeling but Felt anyway#because of how close to home it hit (amy‚ his own blood sucking) -> pissing off your Father Figure quote unquote in the afterlife#-> the whole thing about leaving benny in purgatory after dean's valued benny's life openly in front of you#and trying to compartmentalise benny's wishes and body language#-> and the constant undercurrent emotional abuse (dean going from this opague hatred of sam's decisions right into some kind of#weird distrust of sam as a fragile thing that has sam questioning the grounds of their relationship as he jumps between faithfulness#and faithlessness‚ a lot of the former being expressed outwards towards third party relationships)#how the fuck do you deal with ANY of that??#like dean sets the standards of their relationship yes#but what do you do when these standards are all unclear and unknown and changing constantly because of dean's current emotional volatility??#sam winchester#&
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