#well for someone that tested positive for strep and flu you look really good

[weheirsofdurin]

Welp no work today or tomorrow. As not only do I have the Flu, but I tested positive for strep throat too. 😂 gods I wish parent would keep their kids HOME if they are sick. Like I get it, they have to work or find alternate childcare, but sending in one kid could infect my class of 9-10, and me. Then I go home infect my household of 3 others and my child and then my child goes in before showing signs and could now infect her class of 17.

So instead of going to the dr and getting you lie on antibiotics for 2 days, we now have about 30 possibly sick.

I mean that’s not confirmed or anything as my child is doing fine and went to the dr Saturday. But it’s so easy to spread like this.

But in positive news, I look hella good for someone that’s got both the flu and strep.

[jenroses]

Hey! Please feel free to ignore but you did say to ask you about masks :P the ones I've found that are multiple layers for max protection are really stiff, which squishes my face and leads to gaps. Do you have recommendations? Thanks!

I know that there's a lot of noise about elastomeric masks but for me they're a nonstarter because of the stiffness you talk about. I think it's important to understand that most of the 94-95 standard masks that actually meet that standard are going to be plenty good enough where most people are concerned. Is it possible to catch Covid with a mask on? Yes. I've done it.

Is it likely? No. I'm immune compromised. This isn't data, but our experience has been that a combination of masks, reasonable common sense and good filtration are enough that despite having a school-aged child, a husband who travels for conventions, and me, immune suppressed, with a college student living in our house, I have only had covid twice, the first time was an unfortunate collision of me going to a store at the wrong time where a clerk had both covid and the flu and gave them to me, and the other one involved a family member not using a mask at a public event while eating. Even then, when I caught covid and the flu at the same time and isolated immediately with filtration and everyone coming into my space being masked... not one other person in our house caught it, and when someone else caught it a year later, the only people who caught it were sharing sleeping spaces. Our roommates did not catch it, and everyone was masking from the moment of the first positive test. When my kid got half-assed about masking at school, he immediately got flu and strep at the same time. I pointed out that his lack of care about it could mean a lot of missed school for him and serious health impacts for both of us, and he started wearing a mask again, and did not get sick for the rest of the school year. He HATES the masks that go behind the head and wears Armbrust kn95 masks exclusively (dark blue, lol) And it's pretty clear that without the masks he was getting sick a lot and with he just...doesn't. He is wearing them all day except for lunch through full school days, so that says something. Armbrust will send little behind the head doohickies to keep them off the ears but he never uses them. At $2ish per mask they're not the cheapest but he uses one mask for multiple days so it's not too bad overall cost wise. They have kid sizing, but he's in the regular adult size now at 11. Now, I'll talk about Armbrust for a minute because I really like the company. On pretty much every mask they sell you'll see a video of one of their people reviewing the mask and going over testing data... but they ALSO have reviews of almost every other mask on the market, bad, good and in between, and if you find a mask on Amazon or something and want to know more about it, search the mask name and "armbrust" and the youtube video and product data page will pop up. I've found several special masks for very particular needs by looking through their database for combinations of breathability and shape that weren't even masks they sold. So if you are struggling, take a look at the database, eliminate "failed" masks, look for the ones that meet your needs and then watch the video to see what he says about them first. There are some VERY inexpensive masks out there that work very well, and some masks that are incredibly breathable or incredibly high filtration and a few unicorns that are both.

Now Hubby is okay with the same KN95 masks that our son likes but he exercises and his lungs get a little touchy sometimes so he needs maximum ease in breathing, so using that database I found Dr. Puri masks. Here's the Armbrust review. Here's the listing I found them on. Hubby LOVES them. He also prefers behind the ear. About $1.50 each.

I *hate* behind the ear with a hot hate, they bug me. But I can't just use one type of mask all the time because I have EDS and neck issues so pressure there can be awkward, plus I get short of breath sometimes anyway (history of pulmonary embolism that long predates covid) and I have sensory skin issues.

Bar none the most breathable mask I've ever tried, which also does not fog my glasses, is the Drager mask. These are soft, extraordinarily easy to breathe through, and have a unique strap that makes on/off very easy, and lets you pull the top strap and let it hang around your neck if needed. Unfortunately it has a VERY snug fit across the nose and leaves marks on my cheeks, or it would be perfect, but it's a good option, and possibly someone with a smaller face would have an easier time. These are possibly the best filtering and most breathable masks on the market, so for high risk situations this is the mask I would use. They filter 99.7% in testing. They're a little more expensive at about $1.25 per when I checked today. For a good intersection of fit and comfort, but a little less breathable, are the ACI N95 surgical respirator duckbills. These do not leave marks, don't fog much, good seal around the face, and the single most comfortable head strap I've ever seen. The fabric is very smooth, it is sensory good, but the breathability is not as high. It's not hard to breathe through, it's just not as easy as Drager or Dr. Puri. But... They could probably pass an N99 standard by Armbrust's testing, as they filter >99.4% of particulate, where the standard is 95%. These are also incredibly cheap. If you get their subscribe and save discount (you can do every 6 months) you can get 50 for $25, so 50 cents apiece.

All of these masks are pretty soft, easy to wear, and very good at what they do.

The TL:DR though.... The important thing is to find a mask that you will wear consistently and correctly every time you need it. A mask that hangs on your face and slips is not a good mask for you. A mask you hate so much you make excuses not to wear it is not a good mask for you. A mask that breaks easily or makes it hard to breathe so you end up taking it off is not a good mask. If what you have isn't working, there are LOTS of things that might.

Last Armbrust plug: THEY HAVE A SAMPLER PACK. You can buy a pack of a zillion different types and styles of mask and try a bunch! And order the one you like best! If you aren't sick, one sampler pack can be tried by the people in your household so everyone can figure out what works for them!

Also, I used to get sick very very often and now I just...don't. Not from contagious viruses, anyway. I don't understand why people are so cavalier about it. I've been sick less since 2020 than in any given six month period in my entire life. Despite being on immune suppressants.

[pogueshomecoming]

I brought soup - Kiara Carrera

requested? yes: “hello! maybe a request with kie where you’re together and then you get hurt or something and she gets all worried but takes care of you” AND “hi something with kie where she takes care of a hurt or sick reader”

description: you try to hide at John B’s while you’re sick but Kie finds you and insists on taking care of you.

fill out this survey to join my taglist(s), here’s my masterlist, and requests are open

warnings: mentions of sickness but not really? fluff.

word count: 1044

++

When you tested positive for strep and the flu, you hid out at the chateau. You didn't want your clingy parents fussing over you, and John B agreed that you could hole up in the spare bedroom until you weren't contagious anymore.

However, you also have an overprotective girlfriend, and despite John B's efforts, you were only able to hide from Kie for two days.

John B hasn't ever been scared of Kie until she showed up at his house. Steam was practically coming from her ears. "Are you kidding me, JB? You let her hide here without telling me? She needs someone to take care of her, not leave her in a room to puke her guts out alone!"

You could hear her yelling outside, even being in the spare room with the door shut.

"Hey, I've been keeping her company through the door. Giving her food and snacks and all the good things. Y/N is taken care of."

He wasn't lying. You two had played Go Fish under the door just last night.

"I don't consider you, my best friend anymore." Kie huffs, and you hear her enter the house. You know she's teasing him, but you're fully prepared for her to go off on you too.

"Shot me right in the heart!" John B calls after her.

You're bracing yourself for impact when you hear the doorknob start to turn, but as soon as Kie sees you, her facial expression softens.

"Oh, angel. I can tell you don't feel good. I brought soup and heating pads, and ice packs are freezing in the kitchen." Kie swings her bag off of her shoulder and starts to unpack everything she brought. She shows you everything: containers of your favorite soup made special by her mom at the Wreck, crackers, water, sprite, a thermometer, and so much more.

"Have you showered since you've been here? Why don't you do that while I clean up in here? I'll change the sheets and everything so you'll feel cleaner." She pats your leg, signaling it's time to get up. You feel weak, and you're probably dehydrated, but you do what she says anyway.

The water runs over you until you're pruning, but you were avoiding the effort of getting dressed. When you step out of the shower, you find your favorite one of Kie's oversized sweatshirts waiting for you.

Back in the spare bedroom, she's laid out your medicine as well as a plate of food. "I'm too exhausted to eat."

You groan, collapsing onto the bed. She crosses her arms and watches you crawl back to the hole you made in the mattress from not moving for two days.

"Babe, you have to eat. I can already tell you're dehydrated. You can't wither away to nothing on me." Kie sits on the edge of the bed.

"If I drink a bottle of water, can I take a nap? I'll eat later, I promise."

Kiara weighs her options. You're stubborn as a bull, so she's going to pick her battles and be happy that you offered to do that much. Plus, you happen to look very cute laying there with a pitiful look on your face.

"Fine, but you're eating when you wake up. No exceptions, got it?"

You smile, nodding. "One more thing?"

"What is it?"

"Will you let me lay in your lap? I know you don't want to get sick, but I miss you."

Kie's heart melts on the spot. She's suddenly not worried about getting sick anymore.

"Of course." She moves to the top of the bed, getting comfortable in between the pillows so you can use one of her thighs as a headrest. Kie slowly runs her fingers through your hair, occasionally scraping your scalp lightly with her nails, and it puts you to sleep faster than she can tell you she loves you.

Kie braids your hair while you're asleep. Multiple times actually, trying new things each time. When she finally finds her favorite one, she lifts your head a little bit to tie it off at the end and accidentally wakes you up.

"Sorry, my love, but it was good timing. If you don't stay awake for a little while, you're not going to sleep all night. Besides, it's time for you to eat something. I'll go heat up the soup, okay?" Kie leans down to kiss your forehead, feeling for temperature at the same time.

"Okay. Thank you." You snuggle into the pillow after she's gotten up.

After Kie heats up the soup, she leaves it simmering on the stove and pops her head into John B's room. She's surprised to find JJ also. "There's soup in the kitchen if you want any. If not, turn the stove off soon cause it'll burn."

"How's Y/N?" JJ sits up from where he was sprawled across the end of the bed.

"I don't know. I haven't seen any improvement, I don't think her fever has broken yet. I'm working on it, though." She turns so they can see the ice packs she stuck in her back pocket.

"Here you go. And ice packs." Kie hands you your bowl of soup with a kiss to your cheek.

You joke about Kie offering to spoon feed you, and then she feels like she should, just to keep you laughing. Kie loves seeing your smile. Despite feeling like shit, you're so happy Kie is here to take care of you and make you feel better.

After both bowls of soup are empty, and you've settled back into her lap, you look up at her with a soft smile.

"Thank you. I love you for taking care of me."

Kie reaches for a water bottle and takes a big drink. Your eyes widen when you realize it's yours.

"Wait, have you been drinking out of that one? That one's mine!" You sit up immediately, looking to the nightstand.

Sure enough, there is another one that looks just like yours.

"Oh my god. Why didn't we mark them?" Kie groans.

"I did! Mine has a black dot here." You take the bottle from her hands and show her the marker.

And poor John B, he spent the next four days looking after the both of you.

++

thank you for reading! don’t forget to reblog if you liked it or send me feedback :)

kiara carrera taglist: @jjfuckr, @newsiestrash123 , @millie-753 , @thatsonobx , @jjtheangel , @katherine097 , @obxkie, @ohbx , @babysbestlife , @psychicforest ,

[fortunatelycooltrash]

So people love to say that America doesn’t have free healthcare because the quality would sink and the waits would go up. Now, while those are valid worries despite being no excuse for the atrociously high prices of even minior procedures, I’d like to share some bullshit that I’ve experienced involving normal US hospitals and medical branches alike.

My root canal is going to cost 2500 dollars because it is not covered by most dental plans despite it being a completely necessary procedure that directly affects my health. Absorb that then absorb the fact this plan covers some of braces. The crown alone is costing over 1200.

I almost died in a hospital waiting room because my ‘stomach ache’ that was causing me so much pain I was sick with it wasn’t severe enough to qualify for immediate attention. Undiagnosed Appendicitis.

My nephew and sister almost met their end because an incompetent doctor misdiagnosed my sister with a URI. She had type A flu.

My cousins father had a doctor who refused to diagnose him despite him coming back constantly because of lethargy. Said he couldn’t find anything wrong. Her father was poor and had really bad insurance. Finally he went to another doctor and was diagnosed with kidney cancer. He could have lived if he had been diagnosed a year or two prior before it spead but by the time he got his diagnosis, it was too late. He died, I believe, a few months later but I was young so he might have made it a year or longer.

I suffered from chronic nosebleeds as a child to the point that blood didn’t even scare me anymore. The doctor told my mother that it was coming from wounds inside my nose and I was most likely picking at it and there was nothing medically wrong with me. My mother, knowing even as a child I knew not to waste her money, took me to another doctor. Severe Anemia. Still suffer from it too this day. Have to take those horrid tasting red pills🤢.

My aunt constantly butchering her budget because she needs her insulin and it’s cost keeps getting higher despite it remaining relatively the same. Luckily my state is looking to cap it at 100 though if that will actually go into effect isn’t determined yet.

My mom, bless her, repeatedly going in for her back aching only to be told pain was normal for someone of her weight and age. Nope, she is a nurse and turned people that were 300 pounds or more. She had completely blown her back and had a pinched nerve that was so severe she could barely stand without pain. The doctor that diagnosed her was surprised she could even walk.

My sister, having a grand mal seizure in the nurses office of a high school. They told her to stop faking. That bitch wasn’t even a real nurse so this one doesn’t count but I had to mention this because why the fuck wasn’t a registered nurse hired?

My (other) aunt having minor chest pain then suffering a heart attack in the waiting room because they had her wait so long since she didn’t seem serious. I’m sure that’s going to have lasting damage that could have been easily prevented.

My sister giving birth and getting a 28,000 dollar bill for a room and care for her and the baby. She was there for a day and a half. She didn’t even have a long or complicated delivery.

My mother being told she was completely fine to continue working despite having an off feeling about her third pregnancy(about 24 years ago) the doctor told her there were no complications and she could go on as normal. She miscarried her seven month along daughter three days later because her placenta was underneath the baby and tore. That doctor is still in practice.

The nurses in my mothers delivery room ignoring both her and the monitor. Which, if they had been looking at, clearly desplayed my older brother with his umbilical core wrapped tight around his neck. He lived because my moms main doctor walked in and had a conniption fit when he noticed the vitals dropping. He’s the doc my sis uses now. A good man.

(Same bro)My older brother turning blue everytime he cried being brushed off. Hole in his heart that has since closed.

When I was younger, I slipped in the shower and hit my head so hard against the metal lining of it(stall shower) that the skin split open and abscessed. My doc treated the abscess but did no further testing after a 4 hour wait. As we were leaving, I don’t remember much of this week my mom told me, I vomited and passed out in the parking lot. Had a concussion.

My brother being misdiagnosed with the flu, strep, and a few other things over the course of a few weeks before one doctor finally tested him for HIV. It was positive. Luckily he only had one partner. Unluckily, the partner was the one that gave it to him via cheating on him.

Me, almost dying of a violent case of strep throat because they said I had a sinus infection. My fever peaked at 104 then, blessedly, broke. I do not remember this as the memories of the days I was sick are incredibly fever burned but I remember wrapping blankets around me because I was so cold.

The strep attacked so quick and harshly that if I had lived alone it probably would have killed me since I wouldn’t have been able to get help and I would’ve kept trying to get ‘warmer’ and helped raise my temp over 106. You typically don’t come back from that one unharmed. If at all.

My older bro(cord baby) being told suffering from auditory hallucinations was a common thing(not wrong but they should have actually asked about his family history and idk, did more??) he had undiagnosed bipolar disorder. He is medicated and much happier now.

Me breaking my gotdamn pointer knuckle and the x-ray person getting blurry x-rays that she used despite the fact that they weren’t accurate. Thank you bitch, now my abnormally short pointer finger clicks because it began to set wrong.

Theres a few more but I’m currently giving my bro a hard time for texting me a text meant for his bf so imma bounce for now. May add more later. The whole point to this was to show people that don’t want free health care because the ‘quality would go down’ or the ‘wait would be too long’ that the wait is already long enough for you to die anyway and the quality already sucks ass if you’re poor because they will not diagnose you correctly.

Or They will misdiagnose you then blame YOU when you sue(happened to my mom in that miscarriage one but because he hadn’t wrote a release back to work she had no actual proof he’d told her she could.)

Or They will overcharge you for things that have a far cheaper value simply because they can and you can’t do anything about it because you need that procedure or medicine to keep your health good.

I can understand things like heart surgery or transplants, you know, the big major stuff not being free because yeah that shit takes a fuck ton of resources and care so I get it, I do. I can reasonably say “Yup that should cost thousands.” I mean, I’m don’t even avocate for fully FREE healthcare, I just want a limit on their overpricing bull shit to where it matches with economic standards.

You can’t expect someone with an average 7-4 job that pays 10/hr(oooh ya, y’all think I’d go higher? Guess what, young people starting out their careers also get sick!) to drop thousands upon thousands of dollars for whatever. The sad thing is I can say ‘whatever’ and you can actually think of multiple things that aren’t that major or that resource draining yet still cost thousands.

Even someone making 15/hour couldn’t do that and I’d be hard pressed to say even 20-25/hr could do that. They may have it better and be able to pay it off faster but they’d still be in debt for a while or have to work years after their planned retirement to make up for the lost savings if they were lucky enough to have them.

I’ve also heard people complaining about it raising taxes but you’ll spend way more getting something done at a hospital then you’d spend on those taxes in a year.

Besides, if you’re so pissed about taxes then to even it out protest the stupid taxes. Your house? Taxed. Your inheritance that you gain but also leave behind to care for your family? Taxed. Your property that you bought 100% full price paid? Taxed every year. Your car? Taxed.

How bout getting pissed about those instead of getting pissy about people getting their health fixed? There are plenty of ridiculous taxes so I don’t know why people are so against having one that actually helps people.

Sorry for this rant, I know it’s not centered around my profile theme but I am majorly pissed off that I’m about to have to let a tooth rot out of my head because my insurance decided that: covering something cosmetic like braces? Yeah! Covering a completely necessary surgery that can actually harm/kill the person via infection if left untreated? Nope, that costs us more!

I can’t drop two fucking grand on dental surgery. It’s just not happening. I don’t know anyone who can do that shit. Anyone who gets pissed off about me posting this: go slam a hammer against your tooth until it cracks down the middle, exposing your nerve to the harsh unforgiving world then let it develop a cavity around it.

Afterwards, try to eat literally anything: hot, cold, hard, soft, it doesn’t matter. You’ll cry, I promise. Now imagine being told the only way to fix that is to cough up over two grand and if you can’t well then oh fucking well? Kinda hurts ya a bit. Not nearly as much as the tooth but still.

Hell, I know dental probably wouldnt even get covered if they made healthcare reduced or free but this whole situation has reminded me just how fucked you are if you get anything remotely wrong with you in the U.S

[possiblyscrewed]

Coronavirus things

I feel like I should be recording what’s going on, so I can look back on it in the future, so that’s this post. Just a random assortment of thoughts and facts.

- My ED is doing a pretty good job with trying to manage this. We have PAPRs (I hate wearing them but I’m glad I get to) and our physician group has our own stash of N95s thanks to one of the docs who is connected. We turned a large area into a negative pressure room and all of our respiratory patients are seen in there, as well as two isolation rooms that we put the sicker people in. We’re continuing to use airborne precautions in the pod despite the change to droplet precaution, which I think is smart because we do nebulized treatments in there. At one point we were going to switch to inhalers, but that doesn’t seem to have happened? So idk.

- Staffing wise things are so so. They’re expecting the newer PAs to take the brunt of this both in terms of volume and in terms of seeing the respiratory patients, which is kind of typical of our ED in general. We kind of seem to be there to pick up slack for the doctors, many of whom try not to do a lot of work. We’ve had dramatically decreased volume and we waited a few weeks before making staffing cuts. And the cut we made is pretty small. We’ll see if volume picks up or not, if so they’re gonna try to get people to come back. Not sure how that will go. A number of our older providers don’t want to be working right now because of the risk.

- I’ve been doing at least 5 hours in the respiratory pod every shift, even when it’s not my shift’s responsibility, because I’m younger and live alone so I think my risk is lower. Still seeing strep and flu. We’re very limited on tests and told to conserve them for the high risk patients. When I first started in the respiratory pod I wasn’t testing anyone and genuinely don’t think they needed it. Now I’m seeing a lot more older people who have risk factors and a lot more people who really seem by history to have it. Quite a bit of multifocal pneumonia.

- I admitted a fairly young healthy guy maybe 1-2 months back with a terrible multifocal pneumonia, elevated troponin, renal injury, ended up being discharged on dialysis. At the time we thought maybe a post-flu infection but now I’m wondering if he was a coronavirus.

- I’m pretty sure the first COVID positive patient in our hospital is someone I admitted. I don’t know for sure, because they didn’t notify providers at all. But as of today we have 3 in-house positives, I know who two of them are, and my patient’s test came back days before the other one.

- Based on the histories I’ve gotten, I assume 2 of our positives went to the same church. Unfortunately I did not get the name of the church, but the details seem unlikely to represent two different churches. I’m sure we’ll be seeing a ton of people from that church. I can’t believe they were still holding services.

- My first positive had been seen five days before admission, had a totally normal workup, and was sent home. I am definitely sending more coronavirus tests on the fear that my totally normal workup patients are gonna end up in ICU soon. I think this, more than anything, makes me feel helpless. Part of the goal of ED care is to prevent “bouncebacks,” aka people who are gonna come right back to the hospital, possibly in worse shape. I always feel bad when I see that a patient of mine came back and got admitted. With this illness that’s a specific clinical feature that I can’t do anything to prevent. I just warn all of my patients to come back if they’re having difficulty breathing. I don’t know if they will. I don’t know if, even if they do come back, our interventions will make any difference.

- I have coworkers who just started working about 4 months ago. I cannot imagine going through this as a baby PA. The less time you have as a provider the more each individual patient feels incredibly personal to you, and the more you beat yourself up when things don’t go well. It’s terrifying enough to be responsible for someone’s life when you still feel incredibly under-qualified and overworked. I can’t imagine what adding this crisis into the mix would do. I just began to feel like I could handle being an ED PA a few months ago. I’m very lucky that this pandemic waited to hit until now, or I’d really be drowning.

- I’ve been asking everyone if they have any coronavirus contacts. For a long time the answer has either been “no” or “I work in healthcare and a patient has it.” For the first time the other day I had patients tell me “my father is in the ICU” or “my mother in law passed away at this hospital yesterday.” I realize this is going to become the new normal.

- I am scared that my parents have been going out too much, and that they’re going to get sick. I’m scared that if they do, they won’t make it.

-I have hardcore republican coworkers who still think this is nbd and being overblown by the libs. A medical education doesn’t help with your biases, I guess.

- it’s very weird to still be working while most of my friends and people on the internet are in quarantine mode. Their posts have worn off on me and I feel like I’m someone who has been off work and quarantining. I genuinely am spending way more time at home though, because I would travel like crazy before, so I do have more time to fill. I think being in the quarantine mindset has made me make much better use of my free time.

-There have been a handful of companies offering free things to medical professionals and while it’s a nice idea it seems incredibly misplaced when there are a lot of people losing jobs and income right now. I am still employed and can still pay for my shoes. Help the people who can’t.

-I gave myself a haircut last night because the papr is getting hard to wear with how long my hair was. It’s not great, but I think I can go in public with it. I’m gonna bring clippers to my next shift, and if my coworkers inform me that I in fact can’t go out in public with this haircut, I’ll buzz it. Or maybe I’ll sew myself a surgical skull cap so I don’t have to worry about how it looks.

[bucky-on-a-bike]

Unexpecting (1/?)

Super soldiers don’t get stomach bugs. No one believes you when you tell them you’ll be fine in a few more days, so your loving husband Bucky makes you go to the doctor. Turns out, you’ve got a parasite.

Words: 1,771

Warnings: I think there is a little language. But honestly, when have I written something without language?

Thank you Anoni for the idea and for being so kind! I’m so excited to see where this takes us! I know I said this would drop tomorrow, but I just couldn’t wait. 

Part 2

      Duck, dodge, punch. Weave, jab, miss again. Try not to puke. Left, right, right, duck. Down, slide, “NAT GET THE BUCKET!”

      Retching sounds filled the gym as you threw up for the third time that morning. You  groan as the convulsions stopped and you sat back, brushing loose strands of hair back away from your face. Nat bent down and offered you a cold rag for your forehead and neck.

      “Rough morning, huh?” she asked. Nat sat down beside the bucket, facing you. She put her hand on your head to check for fever, but pulled away with a shake of her head. “No fever. You’re eyes aren’t glossy…you’re cheeks are red but you’ve also been sparring for a good while. I’d ask about a stomach bug but you super freaks don’t really get sick.”

      “Well, maybe. I could be sick. I don’t think I need to worry about it though, ‘cause I’m sure it’ll pass soon. Maybe its food poisoning?” You asked.

      Nat raised her eyebrows at you. “Y/n, honestly. Food poisoning? For a week and a half? You might be super, but you’re super dumb. Go see Bruce or go to the clinic, please.” She paused to glance at her watch. “I’ve got a meeting in ten. Can you to get where you need to go?”

      You rolled your eyes and stood up. As you reached down to give her a hand up you said, “Hell fire, I’m not dying. I’m just a little nauseous this morning. It’ll pass and I’ll be fine.”

      “Go to the clinic. That’s an order.” Her tone left no room for argument, but her ranking compared to yours left her no leg to stand on as far as orders go.

      “I’ll get where I need to go, I promise.” Nat left the room and you headed for the bathroom to wash out the bucket. Once the bucket was clean and you had showered, you headed to your room. The place you really needed to go.

. . . . .

      Bucky was walking to the door to leave when you walked into your room. “Hey, baby. You headed to training?” you asked as you wrapped your arms around him. “You look good.”

      “Thank you, honey. Actually I’m headed to a briefing with Steve. We’re trying to get all the info together and in line for a mission coming up. Stevie can’t sign off on a job until he has all the information, you know.” Bucky chuckled, wrapping his arms around you tighter. He kissed the top of your head and paused. “Y/n…were you sick again? I can smell it on your breath.”

      “Wow Bucky, you can just tell me my breath stinks. I’ll go brush my teeth again, no biggie. Enjoy your meeting.” You slipped out of his arms and towards your bathroom but he caught your hand.

      “No ma’am. That’s not a real answer. You were sick and you don’t want to tell me. I’m going to call Bruce and ask him to come down here to check you out since you refuse to go. I can’t miss this meeting, but you need to see him. Do not, listen to me, do not leave this room until after Bruce comes to see you. I’m worried about you, babe.”

      You rolled your eyes and sighed. “Fine, Buck. I’ll go see him. Don’t call him away from the lab, that’s unnecessary. I’ll just go. If it’ll get you and Nat off my back, I guess it’s worth it.”

      “It’s been a week and a half. Go see him. I’ll see you in a few hours, my love. Please go get some answers.” Bucky kissed you and held you close, running his fingers through your clean hair. “I love you too much to see you be miserable when I know help is right around the corner. I’ll bring dinner back with me. I adore you.”

      “I adore you more. See you later babe.” Bucky let go and left, leaving you with your thoughts. You could just take a nap and tell him you went to the doctor, but he would find out. It really wasn’t worth the hassle to skip it. You changed into some comfy clothes and prepared yourself for an unpleasant meeting with Bruce.

. . . . .

      You walked into his lab to see him leaned back at his desk, staring off into space.  Gently tapping on the doorframe, you walked far enough in that he could see you without getting up.

      “Hey, Bruce? Can I ask you a favor? I haven’t been feeling so great. I was wondering if you could do some tests or something to figure it out.” You smiled softly and shrugged. “If you’re too busy, that’s totally cool and I’ll find someone else to do it.” Like Mr. Sandman. I’m sure a nap is all I need, you thought.

      He sat up and nodded. “Nat called. She said you would be coming to see me today. Would you mind having a seat over on that table and filling me in.” He gestured to a doctors table in the corner of the room. As you walked across the room, you smelled his tuna sandwich and your gut lurched. You dashed for the nearest trash can and dry heaved over and over. Once the wave of nausea passed, you wiped your mouth with a tissue from your pocket and stood back up.

      “Could you please cover your sandwich? I’m a bit nauseous. Have been for a while now. That’s actually why I’m here. I’ve been nauseous, typically in the morning hours. I’ve got headaches in the afternoons, and I’m a bit constipated. I’ve also had cramps and I’m really tired all the time. Bucky and Nat think I have some sort of stomach bug, but I’m not really supposed to get sick I thought. At least, I haven’t since the serum. I just want to know if I can take antibiotics for this or if I have to wait it out.” You heaved yourself up on the table and looked at Banner, waiting for some scientific revelation and answers.

      He looked you up and down, and then crossed his arms and leaned against the cabinet. “When was your last cycle?”

      “That’s not really relevant, is it? It was…at least a month ago. I should probably start in the next few days. Maybe it’s just period hormones. That’s probably it, so no need for tests and stuff. I’m just gonna go back and lay down for a while.” You moved to get off the table and Bruce put up his hand, signaling you to stop.

      “It could very well be that, but let me run some blood tests to make sure you don’t have something serious or something I can give you medicine for. Can you chill out with me for about thirty minutes to run some stuff? You can lay down on my futon if you want to take a nap.”

      Your shoulders drooped and you held out your arm. “Take what you need, Doc. I’m here to make Bucky happy and get Nat off my back, and if I leave now you’ll be all over me too.”

      Banner grinned and nodded, and then got to work. After he filled a couple vials, he led you over to the couch and gave you a blanket. “Here. I’ll wake you up when I’m done.” Before your head could hit the cushion, you were asleep.

. . . . .

      “Y/n, wake up. Wake up, we need to talk.” The tone of Bruce’s voice sent a cold chill down your spine. You sat up and rubbed the sleep from your eyes. He was standing in front of you with a few papers in hand.

      “What do I have? Strep? Flu? The plague?” you joked, trying to get him to smile.

      “No,” he said as he rolled his chair in front of you and sat down. “You have a parasite.”

      Your eyes got as big as saucers. “A parasite? How bad is it? How do we treat it? Where did I even get it from?”

      “It’s not the worst thing in the world. It will feed off of the nutrients you’re getting from your food. It’ll make you nauseous and your back hurt, and maybe your feet will swell. Really, there isn’t much we can do about it. It’ll come out in about… eight months I’d say. And as far as where you got it from,” he said, a smirk spreading across his face, “I think you have Bucky to blame.”

      “What? What the hell does that mean? How did Bucky give me a parasite? Why aren’t you worried about this?” You stood up and began to pace. You were freaking out. How could he be so nonchalant about a parasite? “Bruce, I can’t live with a parasite. What can I do about this? Does Bucky have them?”

      “Bucky certainly does not have one and will never have one. If he does, we will have several other things to discuss. Here, just look at your chart.” He passed you the stack of papers.

      Highlighted, about half way down, were the results from one of his tests.

      PREGNANCY: POSITIVE

      “Bruce. This is not funny.” You sat down heavily and rested your free hand on your flat stomach. “I can’t have kids, Bruce. The doctors told me I couldn’t.”

      He shrugged and stood up. He moved the chair and bent down to give you a hug. “Congratulations. You’re going to have a miracle baby. I won’t tell a soul, and I deleted the tests. You’ve got the only proof in your hands. I wanted you to be able to tell people in your own time.” He straightened back up and helped you to your feet. “I think you should go take a nap in your own bed now. Do you want me to walk with you there?”

      “No,” you said in a dazed voice. “Here. Take these papers. Burn them. I don’t want Bucky to see them on accident.” You dropped the papers to the ground before Bruce had a chance to grab them and you shuffled out of the office like you were in a trances. What just happened? You never thought you were going to be pregnant, so you never used protection. You had no idea what Bucky was going to think about this. “I’m pregnant,” you whispered as you opened the door to yours and your husband’s room. “I’m actually pregnant. What now?”

TAGS: @buckysberrie, @100acresofwood, @whatsbetterthanfantasy, @dracodormiensnunquamtitillandush @bellenuit45, @ificouldhelpyouforget, @38leticia, @thisisthelilith

[actuallyaccuratescience]

Introduction

This guide focuses on common inaccuracies you’ll find in media and how to avoid making the same mistakes. Just as a disclaimer, the things I point out are based on my own experiences at a well-run, somewhat well-staffed hospital. Procedures are different from hospital to hospital. If you’re writing a poorly staffed, overcrowded hospital in the slums of a large city, there may be large differences from what I have written here.

Getting every single detail accurate is a hard thing to do and nearly impossible given the fact that procedures vary from place to place. The least you can do is make an effort to get most things as accurate as possible. If things aren’t accurate, it isn’t believable for those who know the truth and it distorts the reader’s view of things.

I know that you may be tempted to forgo research and just read guides like this one, but you need to do your research. If you search tumblr’s tags for specific things like “PICC line” or “nursblr”, you can find a lot personal experiences and resources to help you learn more about the topic.

Doctors don’t draw blood or do IVs.

This fact is mostly the same across the board. Nurses (and sometimes certified nursing assistants aka CNAs) will perform IVs while phlebotomists or other specially trained individuals will draw blood. Why don’t doctors do those two things? Little things like IVs and blood can be taken care of by other trained individuals, doctors need to focus on diagnosing patients and performing tasks that others are not trained to do.

That’s not to say that doctors can’t draw blood or insert an IV, it’s just that they do not do those things in a normal hospital or office setting because they busy people. If your doctor character is in the woods, performing emergency medical care, then there would be a situation suitable to have a doctor draw blood or insert an IV.

PROMPT: A doctor has to deal with an emergency situation which requires them to insert an IV. The problem is, they haven’t done that since medical school- which was years ago. Describe how they conquer their fear. Do they end up doing the IV correctly or do they have to try again? What is the patient doing during this? Describe the patient’s emotions.

Orderlies exist- but that’s not really the best term to use.

If you don’t know already, there are different types of licensed nurses. CNAs, which I mentioned earlier, may be the lowest rank on the nursing totem pole but they are very important. The title “CNA” can be interchangeable with the term “orderly”. They both do the same thing: provide basic care for patients and transport them using wheelchairs.

If you’re thinking about making your character a nurse, perhaps you should consider making them a CNA or at least consider that they may have been a CNA before they became a nurse. A CNA’s duties include: bathing patients, moving patients around, taking vital signs, cleaning patient rooms, and dispensing prescribed medications. Their interactions with patients are extremely important and help to make the patient more comfortable.

Sometimes, hospitals will give them special training so they can perform more tasks than their school trained them for. For example, in a hospital system nearby, the CNAs are trained to draw blood so they don’t have to hire phlebotomists for the patient floors. CNAs do not receive this training from their schools but rather from the hospital. The CNA cannot practice phlebotomy outside of that specific hospital system or risk being sued.

PROMPT: Your character befriends the CNA who has been taking care of them. One day, the CNA disappears and is replaced by someone who is rude, poorly trained. Describe how your character reacts. Do they question the CNA’s disappearance or do they accept this new person? Why do they react this way?

An IV is not a needle in your arm.

It is a very common assumption that an IV is a needle in your arm and that the needle stays there for the duration of treatment- but that’s not the case. When an IV is started, a needle is used to pierce the skin. Once the nurse determines that it is in the vein, the tube (called a “catheter”) is further inserted into the vein. The catheter is connected to more tubing and to the IV drip itself. 

The most common type of IV placed is a peripheral line. These are what you see in the ER and other places in the hospital. These catheters can be left in place for about 72-96 hours and then it will have to be removed and replaced. Other types of IVs will be discussed further down.

PROMPT: Describe the first time your character must have an IV inserted. What is the situation? Is it in the emergency room or somewhere else in the hospital? Who is there with them?

Ripping out an IV is terrible.

I know that you have seen someone on TV rip their IV out and I am here to tell you that it hurts like absolute hell and most people are smart enough not to pull out an IV. Some patients, like those with dementia or who are severely disorientated, may try to pull out their IV or successfully do it- but most patients won’t. An IV is inside of your vein, the IV administers medication and fluids directly into your blood stream. If you rip that IV out, you’re going to do a bit of damage vein and there will be blood coming out all over the place. Like every other wound, the blood won’t stop flowing until pressure is applied or a clot forms. Afterwards, you’ll have a lovely bruise for well over a week or two.

If you really want to know what it looks like to rip an IV out, here’s a video. Don’t try this at home, kids.

PROMPT: Your character sees a loved one rip out their IV. How do they react? Do they faint or try to stop the bleeding? Describe them coping with the bloody scene and how they talk to their loved one.

For patients requiring long term IV treatment, a special IV may be used.

This is a bit tricky because this all depends on what a doctor and treatment team decide, but since this is fiction, you can influence their decisions. As stated above, an IV is basically a tube (catheter) placed under the skin to administer fluids and treatment into the blood stream. If you have to keep repeatedly taking an IV out and putting a new one back in all the time, the vein will become damaged and may collapse. Being repeatedly stuck with a needle also becomes bothersome. That’s not a good thing!

For people that are receiving treatment every week or more often, a special IV may be put in place. These special types of IVs are: central venous catheters (CVCs), peripherally inserted central catheters (PICC lines), tunneled lines, and ports. PICC lines are commonly used for chemotherapy and TPN treatments.

Obviously, if you decide that your character will have one of these lines, you really do need to perform research. Search of these terms in the tumblr tags and online to see people’s experiences with these. Each type of IV comes with its’ own hazards and responsibilities. The site where the IV is inserted requires special care and the tubing itself must be taken care of to prevent infection and other issues.

PROMPT: Using the research you’ve conducted, describe a character’s experience with having a PICC line taken out. Don’t focus on the character’s thoughts and emotions, try to focus on the character’s senses. What does the room smell like? Does the doctor or nurse have a gentle touch? Is the room old and grimy or new and clean?

Tests and imaging take time, not everything takes place under one roof.

Testing samples and reading images can take a lot of time for different reasons. Sometimes there is a backup of things because of under-staffing or laziness, other times hospitals have to send out samples for special tests or they have to send out images because they do not have people at the hospital to read them. However, there are a few tests that can be done in minutes.

Tests that are labelled “CLIA waived” can often times be complete within minutes. They provide immediate, accurate results without breaking the bank or taking hours to do. You can also do lengthier tests in the lab, but these tests can be used instead of those. A few waived tests include: flu swabs, strep tests, HIV tests, cholesterol levels, some drug tests, glucose levels, mononucleosis testing, and pregnancy tests. Glucose levels and pregnancy tests are the common, everyday tests that can be done at home.

PROMPT: The results from a rapid pregnancy test come back as positive for someone who should not have a positive test. Two more tests are performed, they’re all positive. Describe how the staff member deals with this. Do they run even more tests? Do they ask for help or question the patient? Is there something wrong with the batch of tests or the patient?

Lab staff don’t always wear lab coats.

This differs from place to place but at a lot of hospitals and laboratories, lab staff do not wear traditional white lab coats. Instead, they wear these blue coats. Aren’t they cute? They come in different colors, but most are blue. It might seem strange but the reason is simple: the blue coats are disposable. Think about it this way: if you accidentally get sprayed with a stranger’s blood, you can throw the disposable coat out. Would you want to bring home your lab coat and wash it in your washing machine to get the stranger’s blood out? No, that’s gross. 

PROMPT: Your character is splashed with blood while opening a tube of blood! Describe their reaction to the incident and how they process what has happened. Do they scream? Do they freak out? Are they calm and collected as they clean off? What are they thinking during this ordeal?

It’s very hard to steal a baby and get away with it.

Security at hospitals has become heightened over the years due to the overall increase in violence that has made its’ way into hospitals. You’ve heard about strangers stealing babies, drug dealers shooting people in the ERs, etc. Hospitals have teams of security personnel and special procedures in place to deal with these events. One of these special procedures is having emergency codes which assign a color or special word to a certain event. At the hospital I volunteered at, they used “code rainbow” to denote a missing or kidnapped child.

The colors differ from hospital to hospital, as does what happens after the code is announced. A hospital may go into complete lock-down or just the maternity ward. With my hospital, we were instructed to go outside the building and surround it so that no one can get out of the building. I suppose that doesn’t work too well if the person kidnapping the child intends to harm the child rather than leave the hospital with them.

Stealing a baby is especially hard because many maternity wards are secure areas. You have to use a badge to get in or you have to use an intercom to buzz in. You tell the intercom people your name, the person you are visited, and the room number they are in. The person running the intercom will decide whether or not to let the person in. The mother who has just given birth can as the staff to admit only certain people on a list or exclude certain people. That means the mother can ask for them to deny her stepfather or angry ex-fiance from visiting!

PROMPT: A baby disappears from a hospital and when the security team reviews footage and other items, they can’t find a single trace of someone taking the baby. In fact, they can’t find any proof there was a baby in the first place. What has happened? Does the baby actually exist? 

It’s also hard to steal drugs.

As I’ve said before, some hospitals may be...worse (?) than others but many hospitals make it so that you have to have a badge to get into the pharmacy and a special badge to take out specific medications. The badge readers that let you in will also collect information so they will know when you went into the pharmacy. There are also cameras recording your every move. So your character may be able to steal drugs but they definitely won’t get away with it. If you want them to be able to steal drugs, they should either work in the pharmacy or be buddies with someone who works there.

PROMPT: One night, the hospital pharmacy is empty for a few minutes. When the pharmacists return, all of the medication is gone. Every single bottle, vial, and bag has disappeared. Describe how the pharmacists deal with this event and the chaos that ensues as the staff rush to figure out what has happened.

Pediatric hospitals are a lot different than adult ones. 

While children can be treated at adult hospitals, if they need specialized treatment or have access to a pediatric hospital right away then they’ll go there. Practices will differ from hospital to hospital as will the specialties available there (here’s an example at VCU). Some pediatric hospitals make it so that the child’s room is needle-free (or as needle-free as possible) and procedures involving needles will occur in a separate room. That way, they do not associate pain with the room they are sleeping in.

Often times, if the child’s hospital stay is known about in advance, the hospital will let them tour the hospital and the section they will be staying in. Virtual tours may also be available. Most pediatric hospitals have extensive information online for parents and caregivers on how to talk to children about what is going to happen as well as information for themselves.

One thing that is common throughout pediatric hospitals is that security tends to be tighter than at adult hospitals. A lot of times there is also a greater emphasis on the psychological impact of a hospital stay and how it affects the patient and family. 

I should also note that pediatric hospitals- and most hospitals really, are not like in The Red Band Society and other shows. Being in a hospital it not fun, it is not glamorous, it sucks and it is difficult. That’s not to say there will be moments of laughter and fun, but TV is very different from reality. 

PROMPT: Research a pediatric hospital close to where you live. Look at pictures of the interior, look at the FAQ sheets, find a list of specialties for that hospital, and then read some patient experiences and stories. Write a patient experience/story for one of your characters (they don’t have to be a child).

You can’t just walk into (some) patient rooms.

Yes, you can walk into most patient rooms without any issues but depending on what’s wrong with your character or where they work, they might have to deal with extra precautions. Transmission based precautions are a set of procedures that dictate what you need to wear and what you need to do (or avoid doing) when interacting with a patient infected with something dangerous or highly infectious. There are three categories of transmission based precautions: contact, droplet, and airborne precautions.

It sounds complicated but the basic gist of it is that if someone is infected with monkeypox or SARS, you can’t just walk in there and treat them or visit them. You have to follow a specific set of instructions to keep everyone safe. Staff treating the patient must wear PPE that is specific to the precaution indicated. You can use this CDC chart to see what illnesses require specific precautions and this page describes the different types of precautions.

PROMPT: Your character walks right into a room they really shouldn’t have walked into. A short while later, they start showing symptoms. What are they infected with? Describe how they realize they have become infected.

[dailyaudiobible]

01/06/2018 DAB Transcript

Genesis 13:5-15:21, Matthew 5:27-48, Psalms 6:1-10, Proverbs 1:29-33

Today is January 6th. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I am Brian. It is a pleasure and an honor to be here with you today for the next step forward. And we’re completing our first week in this new year. So, one week from today, give it another week, and we will be settling into a rhythm. And as we move through the rest of this month we’ll be seeing how we are starting to look differently at things, simply because the Bible is counseling us, and correcting us, and cheering us on, and pulling us forward. So, let's dive in and take the next step. We’ve been reading from the New International Version this week, which is what we'll do today, and then we’ll switch to something else tomorrow. Genesis chapter 13 verse 5 through 15 verse 21.

Commentary:

All right. So, we've got some things going in the book of Genesis, some battles, some moving around, some parting of company, and probably we should get our geography in order. So, Abram, and I don't think this is a spoiler alert, Abram is going to have a name change to Abraham. He starts his journey in what would be modern day Syria and he moves his way into the land where the Canaanites live. And this is the land he is promised, the land that becomes Israel, the land that most of the Bible happens in. And this area of land isn't that big, like, maybe the size of the state of New Jersey in the United States. It's not that big. But for its lack of size, it has huge significance, because the land goes all the way to the Mediterranean Sea on its west and in its southwest it leads into the Sinai Peninsula, which leads to Egypt and the African continent. So, for trade to flow between Africa and into the Middle East and Asia, this was the only land route that wasn't completely desert. And because it borders the Mediterranean Sea, it was also invaluable for sea trade. So, Abram comes into this land and God promises this land, but it's very important land. The nations had to travel through there to trade with one another. So, later, when the children of Israel do become a nation, and the children of Israel at this point in the book of Genesis haven't even been born yet, but when they do come into the promise land and conquer the promise land, they really are proverbially in the center of the world and control the flow of trade. So, we can see why this land is so valuable and why so many people have wanted to control it. And today Abram and his nephew Lot, they have to split up and go in different directions, simply because the land can support all that is required of both of them. So, Lot chooses the Jordan Valley. So, the Jordan River runs basically between the Sea of Galilee and the Dead Sea and those are two very different bodies of water. The Sea of Galilee is a freshwater lake while the Dead Sea is the lowest point on earth. So, everything kind of flows down to that point, but there's no way to get out. From the Dead Sea, moving inland toward the Mediterranean Sea, the land begins to rise and rise and rise all the way to the point that Jerusalem is. It’s a pretty steep climb. So, Lot is going down into the valley and Abram is staying more in the high lands. And Lot gets taken as a prisoner of war and this happens near the city of Sodom. There’s been lots of conjecture about where Sodom and Gomorrah actually were, but, I mean, we can just, as a ballpark, say, somewhere in the vicinity of the Dead Sea. And, so, they’re carried northward and then eastward toward Damascus, through the city of Dan. So, from the Dead Sea to Dan. And the ancient ruins of the city of Dan are still in existence today. I’m going to guess, about 100 miles. So, Abraham has to go in pursuit to recover his kin and he goes through the city of Dan. What's interesting about that is that, in this ancient city of Dan, an even more ancient city gate has been uncovered. And the ruins of this city gate are Canaanite, dating back to the time of Abraham. So, it’s likely that Abraham and his men, Abram and his men, moving in pursuit of rescuing Lot, pass through those city gates. So, there's your geography lesson for the day. If you see this on a map, it can help. Just kind of being acquainted with where things are is helpful so when things happen you kind of see where they happen, how they had to travel to get to that place. And at the end of next month when we go to Israel, we’ll be posting lots and lots and lots of pictures on social media and staying connected to that pilgrimage. And a lot will happen in the Bible between now and then that is all situated in this land. So, it will start coming alive and it’s very exciting when it does.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word. And we see that Your word is situated on planet Earth among earthlings and it's rooted in a geography. And we thank You that we can see these places and get an understanding of what life was like in these times because this gives us context and we see that context is important in Your word. So, come Holy Spirit, plant what has been read today in our hearts, and may it sprout and yield the fruit of the Spirit in our lives. We ask in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website, its home base, its where you find out what's going on around here.

I've mentioned a couple of times that the next time we’ll be out on the road we will be in Louisville, Kentucky on the 14th of January and I'll be speaking at New Song Christian Fellowship Louisville. So, if you are in the area, love to see you, love to say hi. You can get all the details for this at dailyaudiobible.com in the Events section, and all the details that you would need to know. So, looking forward to that.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com. There's a link on the homepage. If you’re using the Daily Audio Bible App, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or, if you prefer, the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or comment, 877-942-4253 is the number to dial.

And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi Daily Audio Bible, this is Rebecca from Michigan and it’s January 2nd. Happy New Year. I have a verse for us since we are doing the word Hope. For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you not to harm you, plans to give you hope __ and in future. Jerimiah 29:11. And I want to say, one, realize I’m not God, I admit that I am powerless to control my tendencies to do the wrong things and that my life is unmanageable. Happy are those who know they are spiritual poor. Matthew 5:3. Have a happy New Year Daily Audio Bible and I hope that God uses me to minister to other people and win them to the Lord. Thank you. Bye. I love you.

Hello Daily Audio Bible family. This is Shelia calling from Massachusetts. Happy New Year to all of you. Brian, Jill, China, I just want to say, thank you so much for the work that you do. This is Bob’s and my 10th year joining you on our trip through the Bible, out of your 13 years. And China, this year I am adding your version of the Chronological reading into my daily spiritual life. So, I’m very excited to go through that with you. And the dedication that your family has for spreading the word of the Lord is truly amazing. And your there to sit with them day after day after day serving the Lord. It’s such an inspiration, it’s such a blessing. I lift you up Lord. Lord Jesus, I just, I say prayers to the Hardin family, continue to provide them with the strength and the wisdom and the courage to spread Your name, Lord. They’re such a __ of Christians out there, such a role model. We love you. Thank you.  

__ calling from California. I'm calling because I have a few different prayer requests. The first one is that we have been under steady, heavy, attack from the enemy. I have been sick for going on two months now. Constantly different things, strep throat, infection in one of my teeth, flu, cold, but now my voice is gone. We’ve also been heavily under attack with our financial situation. As I remain sick, I’ve been in and out of work. So, we’ve been struggling financially and I’ve been just praying. And because of the financial struggle, me and my husband have been in constant battle. We’ve been constantly fighting __. Now, my husband’s bi-polar, so, any issue when he’s stressed triggers an additional anxiety attack with him. So, it’s been very hard to not only stay positive but to stay focused. So, I pray and I ask for prayer that God turns it around. It’s the second of the year and we are barely able to pay December’s rent now and we have all of the new bills coming in this month. I just ask that God __ focus on the other side. That we’re not behind but ahead. We had to borrow money from someone and I was very uncomfortable with it. This person is very…he’s just someone I don't feel comfortable with in my husband’s life. So, I pray that either God changes him or my husband’s able to influence God into him. My husband has between wavering between God because of the situation. So, I ask for prayer for that as well. Thank you for your time. Thank you DAB family for always being there for me. Brian thank you for this podcast.

Hi this is Scottish Tom calling from the Cleveland Ohio area. I’m actually calling for prayers for my mother. She called me from Scotland on Friday and has told me that she’s been diagnosed with Leukemia. The good news is she’s got kidney transplants a few years ago and they do regular blood tests and they had caught it almost right away and she’s had no symptoms. So, we’re very hopeful that we can, she can beat this. And they’re saying that she’s very healthy. She’s 66. So, She’s not to old. So, they’re doing the most intense treatment. So, she’s going to be going to hospital for five weeks starting tomorrow. So, the first day to that treatment and I think she gets out for a week and then goes back in for another five weeks. So, if I could just ask you to pray for her and to pray for my dad and the rest of our family, that the Lord will keep us strong, strong for my mom, and that she’ll get through this and have a full recovery. Thank you for your prayers in advance. And I pray for you guys all the time, although I don’t always call in. Thank you. God, bless. Bye.

Hello Daily Audio Bible family. This is Chris from London. I haven’t called in in forever. I’m just calling with a praise report. I want to thank God for China and Daily Audio Bible Chronological. I listen for the first time and it's just crazy…I’m just…oh my goodness…China’s reading the Bible. It’s just mad. So, I’m just so grateful to God because I remember meeting China and Brian at the Daily Audio Bible retreat, family retreat, in London, it was probably around 5 years ago, way before I was working, probably 5 years ago. And now I’ve got…I’m, married. I’ve a married. I’ve a daughter as well who is three months old. I just took it like how that she's growing and I’m just like…wow…God…I pray that my daughter Ava will grow in the same way, in the way of the Lord. __ pray for. Just praise report. Praise God.

[bridgetkat-blog]

Imposter Syndrome

           “You should be an English teacher,” my dad used to tell me.

           And I would respond with something along the lines of, “English teachers get paid shit.”

             I sat in a blue, plastic chair in the front of my Calc AB classroom—one of the only air-conditioned classrooms in my budget-conscious Catholic high school—as my teacher projected a piece of paper onto the front wall. Written on the paper was a distribution of scores earned on the most recent test.

           “One person did get a hundred,” my teacher said as he gave us a run-down of the score distribution. “This is the first time someone has ever gotten a hundred percent on this test.”

           After he had finished discussing the scores, he began passing the graded tests back to the students. After anxiously awaiting the news of my score, he finally handed me my graded test. Bright red ink was scribbled on the top of the paper:

100

           Math was my niche, my safe haven, where I always knew I would succeed. Where I never feared failure.

             I’ve never been good at reading. It was always my lowest-scoring section on standardized tests. I read slowly, and sometimes I realize that I haven’t been paying attention for the last two pages. My eyes scan through the words, but they kind of just go in one eye and out the other. Not only did this make reading difficult for me, but the frustration it caused made reading utterly unenjoyable.

             I come from a family of health-care providers. My father is a physician, my mother is a PA, my uncle and his wife are both physicians, my grandfather is a surgeon, and my older sister is in medical school. My dad could always tell me if I had strep or not. He once used his stethoscope on me at home because I thought I was dying[1]. On another occasion, I had the stomach flu, and he called in a prescription anti-nausea tablet for me—it was that easy. When I had cramps, my mom would tell me, “the prescription dose for ibuprofen is 800 milligrams, so you can take four.” I couldn’t go to the grocery store with my dad without running into four different people that he either worked with or treated. When I got the stomach flu again in college, by parents were able to tell me everything from the best position to lie in to the best over-the-counter medicine to buy.

           There was never any explicit pressure for me to follow in my family’s footsteps, and I never felt any implicit pressure either; health care was just all I ever knew.

             Before I was an English major, I had some pre(mis)conceptions of “The English Major”: obsessed with books, wears big hipster glasses, spends free time reading The Great Gatsby while drinking tea in locally-owned cafés. Has read the entire Harry Potter series three times. Mildly, endearingly socially awkward, but otherwise unremarkable. At one point, I thought people chose to major in English because they weren’t good at anything else. That’s why I was hesitant to become one myself. Why would I be an English major when I’m good at other things – “more useful” things, “more impressive” things? Why would I give people a reason to think I was unremarkable?

             As I approached high school graduation, I never felt confident about what I wanted to do in college. I never felt like thinking about it. I told myself that I knew what I wanted to do just so I could stop worrying about it. I knew I was confident in math, and I was above average in science, so I decided on biomedical engineering—the same major my older sister had already been studying. It just made sense—I could use my talents in math and science, I could be involved in healthcare, and best of all, I could make good money. It made sense, didn’t it?

             I vaguely remember one day in 3rd grade when my class was having silent reading time. My teacher—who I did not particularly like—came over to my desk and told me that I shouldn’t mouth the words while I’m reading. I didn’t understand why doing that was bad, and I still don’t really understand now. I’m not sure if it was solely for that reason or if other evidence was involved, but my teacher ended up making me do one-on-one reading practice with a volunteer parent. This is the earliest memory I have of feeling stupid.

             I went into the semester optimistic—lots of people on my floor were in engineering, my older sister was a tutor in the College of Engineering, and I expected to enjoy all of my classes. But within two weeks, I decided I hated engineering and Engineering Problem Solving I[2]. “Everyone hates EPS 1,” they all said. “It doesn’t mean you hate engineering.” How exactly does one not hate engineering? was my only thought. I stuck with my engineering math class because it was basically just Calc II, and I wasn’t against advancing my math expertise.[3]  

           At this point, I was back at square one. So what the fuck do I do now? I decided to jump right on something else I had considered in the past: physical therapy. I had been interested in it since my senior year of high school[4], so the next semester, I began my work as a major in human physiology on a Pre-Physical Therapy track. It made sense, didn’t it?

             You know those fat literature books you get in middle school? I always read the dumb little stories but hardly could remember what they were about. In high school, I Sparknotes’d my way through Huckleberry Finn and Of Mice and Men. I think I actually read about 50% of To Kill A Mockingbird. And I still got an A in American Lit, presumably because I’m good at bullshitting[5]. I got a 2190[6] on the SAT because, unlike the ACT, there is no reading portion.

              One day — after a year in Human Physiology, a week of shadowing, and semesters full of bullshit classes — I had an epiphany: I fucking hate this. Maybe it was the professors; maybe it was the three-hour labs in windowless rooms; maybe it was the fact that every class made me cry on at least one occasion. But I knew that I hated it. And besides that, how does a painfully shy five-foot-tall girl work as a health care provider, anyway?

           So for the next couple of weeks, I panicked and obsessed over what I was going to do. There I was, a second-semester sophomore, looking to completely start from scratch as I went into my junior year, and the self-reprimanding thoughts began. Can you pick something you actually enjoy for once? This is the rest of your life we’re talking about. Stop letting other people’s expectations make decisions for you and get your shit together.

               But I’ve loved writing since I took my first creative writing class in high school. As soon as I was formally introduced to it, creative writing became my coping mechanism for any and all things. It was my way of sorting out the jumbled thoughts in my head into something I could translate into words. And my composition teacher was constantly astounded by my flawless grammar. So, despite my less-than-ideal track record in reading, I chose to be an English major. Am I actually, diagnosably insane? Probably. But more than a year later, do I regret it? Not even a little bit.

             I need to make one thing clear for those who have the mindset I used to have: English is not easy, or useless, or unimpressive, or unremarkable. STEM students see English as a cop-out major, but ironically, those are precisely the students who are most likely to fail miserably in an English class. STEM is numerical, logical. English is subjective, creative, and abstract. Throw a stereotypical Engineering student into a Chaucer class or a creative writing class, and they are bound to have difficulties. But they don’t think so. They think it’s easy. I’d like to see a STEM major write a three-page paper on four lines of The Canterbury Tales. I’d like to see a STEM major read one of Shakespeare’s Sonnets and even have a clue what it’s talking about. I’d like to see a STEM major write five pages on the symbolism of fire in Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. I’d like to see a STEM major read five novels in four weeks. I’d like to see a STEM major take a class entitled “Chaucer” and even make it out alive.

             I don’t read for fun, but maybe I would if I had the time. I don’t read or study in cafés because I can’t concentrate if I can discern nearby conversations. I wear glasses, but only because I need them to see, and contacts make my eyes itch. I’m socially awkward, but neither mildly nor endearingly. I’ve never read The Great Gatsby, or Gone with The Wind, or Great Expectations, or any books of the Harry Potter series[7]. I do drink tea, but only to calm my clinical anxiety.

           I always thought I had to go into math and science because I was especially good at those subjects. To me, there was never even a question of what I enjoyed; what mattered was what I was good at. People always asked me, “Why do you want to be an engineer?” or, “Why do you want to be a physical therapist?” And my answer was always based on the fact that I excelled in math and science, not that I enjoyed those areas. It only dawned on me that I should enjoy my career when I was halfway through college and it all suddenly became real.

           Why had I never considered a career in English, you ask? Because in 21st Century America, a successful career in English[8] is “unrealistic,” a “fantasy.” Doesn’t pay well[9]. Most people don’t even consider pursuing a career in English because it’s generally accepted that it’s not even a valid option, unless you want to be “stuck” teaching or working as a full-time barista, sharing a four-bedroom apartment for the rest of your life. And so what if someone does want that?

           Sometimes I worry about how I’ll be able to teach English if I’m not particularly gifted in reading – literally half of the subject. But then I realize that that is exactly the reason I will succeed as an English teacher. Some teachers are so gifted in their field of study that they don’t know how to help people who don’t understand it immediately. When you’re naturally talented in an area, it’s hard to explain it to someone else. It’s when you actually have to work to learn the material that you understand how to teach it to someone else. The best teachers are the ones who understand how it feels to struggle and know how to help. I’m going to be that teacher for someone.

           But yeah, I’ll probably get paid shit.

 [1] I was not, in fact, dying.

[2] Engineering Problem Solving I, or EPS I, is a core introductory course for all engineering students.

[3] I ended up getting an A.

[4] Throughout high school, I had a chronic muscle knot near my right shoulder blade—a result of cheerleading, show choir, and bad posture. Eventually, it got so bad that I started going to physical therapy. In my efforts to relieve this massive knot, I became infatuated with muscles and how they functioned. And that’s how I got interested in the field of physical therapy.

[5] A lifetime of mandatory religion classes in a Catholic school system gets you good at that kind of thing.

[6] Out of 2400. This is approximately equivalent to scoring a 33 out of 36 on the ACT.

[7] I have seen all of the Harry Potter movies, though; I don’t live under a rock.

[8] Besides teaching.

[9] Includes teaching.

[sarasadultingjourney]

2020-1-1

Wow okay it’s been a hot minute since I’ve written anything. Since my last post a fair number of things have happened, so I guess I’ll start from October and go in order. My birthday was pretty quiet, Brian came over for dinner and we had dinner and cake. My new phone came with a case and Brian gifted me a wireless charging pad. During dinner Billy got a phone call saying that he wasn’t getting a job he had interviewed for and after that the rest of our time together with everyone there was super awkward. He kept thinking out loud going between “well when they fail because they go with the quota hire it won’t be my problem” and “I’m going to call him and find out why and try to get it”. Overall it was a good day though.  Halloween was a pretty good day too. Some people at work dressed up. Shelby was a giant dinosaur, Matt was a bag of blood, Kyle was a angry farmer. The mood of the day was really nice but the little party ended up not happening in our building. There was supposed to be something at 4 and something at 75 but they cancelled the one at 4 last minute. On Brian’s birthday I wasn’t feeling well, I was at work feeling like I had low grade fevers on and off most of the day, but I decided to go to his house after work anyway. I had no idea what to get him and since I knew his birthday gift to me was a mail error I didn’t feel so bad giving him an amazon gift card with a post it note telling him to use it to get a lamp for his bedroom. His parents also got him a lap for his bedroom, which was pretty funny. I took it pretty easy there and left pretty early. I woke up the next morning feeling like I had strep so I didn’t go to work and went to the doctor’s instead. They did the strep test which came back negative but my fever spiked while I was there so the doctor did a flu test which came back positive. I was out of it most of the day with a steady 102 fever. The next morning I woke up with a good blood sugar but high ketones. Since I wasn’t really having a lot of fluids and I had ketones she sent me to the hospital to get some saline and flush the ketones out. While I was in the ER the doctor wanted to be in charge of my insulin and told me to take my pump off. I never got insulin over the course of several hours and when my blood started to get funky they decided to keep me for 3 days. The one endocrinologist was so weird. The first time he came to my room (I was in a cardiac isolation room since they didn’t know how contagious I was) he was focused on my thyroid and was saying that my symptoms are in my head. When he left my mom and I looked at each other like “did he really just say that?” He straight up asked me: Do you really think there is an organic problem or do you think maybe it’s just you” in relation to my GI issues. The next day he came by when my mom wasn’t home and told me he was glad my mother wasn’t there so he could talk to me more freely and said that he wants well for me and doesn’t think I’m crazy but maybe I should see someone. He also told me that my TSH was indicative of hypothyroidism, which it wasn’t. I was so glad to be out of there. They were doing blood-work every 6 hours, breathing treatments every 4 hours, the bed was uncomfortable and had this inflatable pad that kept moving so I got minimal sleep while with the flu. While I was in the hospital I was on the phone with Brian at some point and that was the first time he told me he loves me. I really didn’t know what to say and he just said something along the lines of that he loves me and he wanted me to know and there was no pressure to say it back right then. There was one night we were sitting in the living room and we had a misunderstanding and when it was over he said I love you and I said I love you too and I swear I broke the poor kid for a second.  On Christmas Eve Brian came with us to Phil and Cindy’s house. We had dinner and played some games on the TV and did a gift exchange. My family was under the impression that everyone coming was to bring a 5-10$ white elephant gift but Philip went ahead and got all of the girls maternity socks and silver dollars for the guys. He also got Catherine and Billy a joint present again, this time a pair of handcuffs, which Cathy did not appreciate at all. Other people that came got gifts for people as well so in a way it was a bit awkward, but it was fine. My white elephant gift is a little succulent. I thought it was fake and left it covered in the box for a few days..apparently it’s real. On Christmas we opened presents. This year we didn’t do any family exchange on Christmas eve because it would be a bit weird with Brian just kind of there and because we didn’t really have time before going to Phil and Cindy’s. Jen and I chipped in and got Mom and spa day and Dad these tiles for when you lose things. I got Billy a book and Jen a wireless charging station. I got some thermals from billy and some hair product from Jen. My big gift was two tickets to dinner and a show at the Westchester Broadway Theater. I thought it was very sweet of them. Later in the day Jen left to go see Greg and I went to Brian’s house for dinner with his family. He got me a bracelet with a heart on it and I got him a pair of wireless headphones that have a large button so the controls are easier to use when snowboarding or biking.  On the 29th I decided to be nice and make a special breakfast for Dad’s birthday. It was going to be just pancakes and bacon, but when Jen and Greg came down she wanted waffles and he wanted an omelette so I ended up just making everyone whatever they wanted for breakfast. I didn’t really have much for breakfast that day, but at some point in the past few months or so I realized that the timing of the medicines I’ve been taking for my stomach are a key factor in them working. If I take them 30ish minutes before eating they work a lot better which has allowed me to start eating more, more often, and start getting back into exercising. The surgery is still scheduled because I still get sick a few times a week but things have been so much better. That night the 7 of us went to Nellie’s place for dinner. I had half of a chicken caesar salad wrap (which I did not get sick on :D)  Work during the holidays has been pretty slow, especially with the shutdown. Lots of people took time off so no one was really there. I’ve been keeping busy with NJ01. At this point I’ve been basically managing a small crew of temp workers who make copies of all of the patient files for the closeout. I get along well with the 3 temps who have been there since I got back to work from the flu. For the holidays there were two girls who started since they had off work and one of them is Brian Hannifan’s daughter. On the first day the girls started working with us Adi took us out for lunch, I’m not sure if it was because it was the holidays or because Brian’s daughter was there, but it was nice to go out with the NJ01 team minus Rachel. The team is now stationed in 75 which is nice in a way because there’s a dedicated space but it’s also potentially socially isolating. We’ll see. Also work had a holiday party, well two of them. On the Wednesday before Christmas we had a townhall and people who had been working for 3 years got a personalized cow and afterwords there was food in the kitchen. Operations had organized for there to be another party afterwords at the Shannon Rose. People had more food and drank and for the most part I felt out of place because I don’t feel that close to any of my coworkers. Rachel was there but she came with Jana and lost her phone so the two of them kept going out and retracing their steps to find it, which they did. Adi also got pretty drunk which was a bit weird to see. But at the end of the day I ended up meeting some people that I see and never speak to and got a free dinner.  On New Year’s Eve I went to dinner with Brian and his family to the restaurant  across the street. I got a fish dish was some noodles. My stomach was doing pretty poorly most of the day but the food itself was good, and since my food took a while to come out, everyone got a free dessert.