#well played Miss Meyer. well played.

[katherines-imagines]

“Stupid bitches, be stupid bitches.”

pairings: hazel callahan x reader

warnings: angst, fighting, mean PJ, bad writing

summary: PJ starts yelling at Hazel, but her girlfriends not having it.

A meeting was called for the fight club after their revenge on Jef. As the girls started coming in, each had a mischievous yet proud smile adorning their faces. Y/N walked towards the back where her girlfriend, Hazel, was saving a seat for her. Sitting down, Y/N took Hazel’s hand into her own, playing with her silver rings. When everyone arrived, PJ began to speak.

“Alright, well, some of us clearly have a different definition of egging.” The girls gave each other knowing looks. “But if we keep our mouth shut, stay calm, we’ll be fine,” PJ finished.

“They’re gonna shut us down, aren’t they,” Sylvie asked sadly.

“What,” PJ laughed nervously. “No, we don’t know that. Why-”

“Principal Meyers will believe whatever Jeff and Tim say,” Brittany pointed out. “I don’t really see how we recover from this.” She was right, and all the girls knew it. As much as they could hope that the club would continue, after their little stunt, the club would be shut down.

“Man. Fuck,” Sylvie sad dejectedly.

“It’s been real guys,” Hazel said, looking bittersweetly to the group. Her girlfriend lovingly tracing her hands, nodding in agreement.

“Okay,” PJ interrupted. “Let’s not jump to conclusions with the, goodbyes,” she waved her arms around.

“I’m gonna miss you guys so much,” Hazel said, ignoring PJ. Y/N’s heart felt heavy from the break up for the group. These were her friends. This was her safe space. Now it would end, but she didn’t regret joining at all, and that made it all the more bittersweet.

“I’m like,” Sylvie started while standing up. “At least we went out with a bang,” Sylvie referred to the bomb Hazel made, causing the group to laugh sans PJ and Josie. “I mean, that was fucking insane!” The group laughed louder. “It’s just like, fire, everywhere” she continued, playfully hitting the girls.

“Wait, wh, stop,” PJ stuttered. “We don’t, wait, no, we don’t know that for sure,” PJ tried to deny, but the girls had already accepted it.

“PJ,” Annie stopped her with a sad smile. “Don’t be sad it’s over. Be happy it happened,” she smiled towards the fight club members, them smiling back.

“Alright, can everyone calm the fuck down please,” PJ said exasperatingly. “The club is not over, Josie? Right?” PJ motioned to her best friend, a hand motioning in her direction. Josie kept silent, PJ turning in disbelief at the lack of answer.

“No matter what,” Isabel started. “This club has brought me so much. I feel..” She took a deep breath before continuing. “So much more powerful, and, protected.”

“Me too,” Josie agreed, eyes showing vulnerability like the rest of the girls. PJ let out a sarcastic laugh

“Great,” PJ said. Hazel, tired of her attitude, interrupted her.

“Oh my god PJ, okay,” Hazel stood abruptly, her hand leaving Y/N’s grasp, causing her to jump at the sudden movement. “I’m sorry you didn’t get what you wanted out of this group, but I think the rest of us did.” She motioned towards the girls with a smile.

“Oh,” PJ spoke sarcastically. “Good for fucking you Hazel.” Y/N’s eyebrows furrowed, not liking how PJ was speaking to her girlfriend. “I’m glad that you finally wrote one email. Accomplished a lot.”

“I actually did, I practically ran this club for you and Josie,” Hazel said frustratedly. Y/N nodded harshly in support.

“Let’s calm down, maybe,” Josie said, trying to deescalate the situation, but it was too late for that.

“You really think that your the reason that we have this club,” PJ asked rudely.

“The reason? No, but I can tell everyone that if you want,” Hazel shot back. The girls heads snapped to Hazel at the comment, none of them expecting Hazel to have a mean bone in her body. Y/N stood up next to her girlfriend, hand going to the small of her back in support. As much as Y/N wanted to tear PJ a new one, she knew that Hazel had to do this part, at least, by herself.

“Hazel, uh hey, let’s calm down,” Josie said to Hazel. Y/N glared at Josie. Clearly PJ was the one who needed to calm down, not Hazel.

“You’re really ungrateful,” PJ snapped at her. “You’re so lucky that we even let you be a part of this.” How dare PJ try and glorify herself?

“PJ, your a liar.” A silence followed after Hazel’s retort, eyes turning to PJ for an explanation. PJ scoffed in disbelief.

“Yeah, well,” PJ started. Y/N had a feeling that the next few words that would come out of PJ’s mouth would make Y/N’s patience snap. “You have no friends, and a skank as a mom, so,” PJ smiled maliciously, as Josie looked at her feet. As the girls stared quietly, Y/N yelled at PJ.

“How dare you say that? She has friends, and you have no right so say something so atrocious to her,” Y/N said angrily, while Hazel stared in disbelief at PJ. Before Y/N could continue, Hazel looked at her friends in pain before picking up her stuff. Y/N followed Hazel’s lead, picking up her and her girlfriend’s stuff before following Hazel down the bleachers. Before leaving the gym, Y/N went to PJ’s face and spoke coldly, “If you every say shit like that again, I’ll fuck you up. Don’t you ever, disrespect her.” Shoving PJ with her shoulder, Y/N followed Hazel out the gym. While the rest of the girls watched them leave, Josie calling out for Hazel. When Y/N caught up to Hazel’s fast walking, she stayed quite. After a few minutes of walking quietly, Hazel spoke softly.

“What did you say, hun,” Y/N asked softly, not hearing what Hazel had said.

“Could you please hold my hand,” she shakily asked, quiet tears streaming down her face. Instead of answering, Y/N simply took Hazel’s hand in her own, comfortingly rubbing her thumb across her girlfriend’s hand. They walked in silence before Y/N spoke up.

“She’s a bitch.” Hazel let out a startled laugh of disbelief. “And not even a good one like me,” Y/N added, hesitantly looking at Hazel to see if it was ok to talk. Hazel laughed quietly, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. Y/N stopped the pair, Hazel looking curiously for the reason why. Y/N dropped their bags and took of her jacket, using the sleeve to wipe Hazel’s tears before putting it on Hazel. When Y/N picked up their bags, she took Hazel’s hand and continued to walk. “Don’t listen to her Haze. You know what they say about girls like her?” Y/N waiting until Hazel hummed in question.

“Stupid bitches, be stupid bitches.”

Hazel laughed loudly, hugging Y/N’s arm to stop her from falling.

“Y/N,” Hazel laughed.

“Hazel,” Y/N responded seriously. Well, semi-seriously. She couldn’t help the small smile growing on her mouth. Sighing gratefully, Hazel tugged on Y/N’s arm to stop.

“Thank you, love,” Hazel said, looking into Y/N’s eyes with love. Y/N swore she could feel her heart melt, warmth filling her up.

“Of course, pretty girl,” Y/N spoke softly, hugging her girlfriend tightly. Y/N was not going to let PJ get away with this.

No one spoke to her girl like that.

a/n: first imagine since I came back! if you have any requests from any fandom, please let me know. if I know the fandom, I will try and do it! Hope you guys like this one as much as I did.

[theboarsbride]

Faerie Book Recommendations🧚✨📚

So reading Sarah J Maas and her very, very shitty interpretation and (under)utilization of fae lore is inspiring me to create a personal list of books I've read that I feel like have like... ACTUAL faeries and folklore in them (not the normal-looking-hot-folks-with-pointy-ears-and-MAYBE-wings brand of faerie SJM popularized), and are actually worth your time

And if you've any books, stories, comics, etc. that you'd want to add to this list, feel free to add them in the comments, reblogs, tags, or my DMs!!

House of Hollow by Krystal Sutherland

Very eerie fairytale vibes that center on the aftermath of the disappearance, and even more mysterious return, of three sisters when one of them goes missing again almost 10 years later. And also the writing is legit just B E A U T I F U L!!!

Emily Wilde's Encyclopedia of Faeries by Heather Fawcett

This is chock-full of classical faeries and folklore, and almost reads like a textbook about them since this is about a woman, the titular Emily Wilde, traveling to a Scandinavian country to complete her own encyclopedia about the fair-folk. It also features some lowkey cottagecore vibes and an academic rivals-to-lovers romance!

Gilded (Gilded #1) by Marissa Meyer

A retelling of Rumpelstiltskin that reads like its own dark Grimm's fairytale, and it's as eerie and grim as a YA fantasy novel can get. It also centers on themes of telling stories and folktales since the main character, Serilda, is infamous for spinning wild tales - which is what leads to her encounter with the famed, and feared, Earlking (who, as a villain, is so sinister and creepy - and utterly FAE!). Personally, this book wasn't really my cup of tea and I'm unsure if I'll read the sequel, Cursed, however it still has some classic fae vibes that SJM's work lacks, so it deserves a place on this list!

The Changeling by Victor LaValle

I'm using the term 'faerie' very loosely here, as the idea of changelings (and trolls), for me, is more of a narrative device to help us look into grief in fatherhood. But there is still a very strange, vaguely Pans Labyrinth-esque urban fantasy vibe playing in the background throughout!

Slewfoot: A Tale of Bewitchery by Brom

Not necessarily FAERIES but more of mischievous and distrustful woodland folk - and also forest gods. Very heavily steeped in early colonial America era folk horror vibes... if you love media like Robert Eggers' The VVitch then you will ADORE this book! Also Brom's accompanying artwork is so, so beautiful! This is honestly such a perfect fall-time read once Halloween season rolls around.

Legendborn Cycle series by Tracy Deonn

Ok no faeries but... mixes classic Arthurian legends with southern Black beliefs while also telling an epic urban fantasy story centering on themes of grief, trauma, and prejudice. So no fae, but LOTS of great urban fantasy vibes (which I mean... if you're looking for more series to put on your shelf instead of Harry Potter......) Just... Please... just... this series... it's so GOOD!! IDK what else to add that hasn't been said about this series!

Direwood by Catherine Yu

Once again, not necessarily faeries in this book but instead vampires that have a very fae-like quality about them! (as well as blood-hungry butterflies and caterpillars hee-hee) The story as a whole feels like a whimsical fever dream that is STEEPED in tasty Gothic vibes! It sort of has the feeling of being in a late '90s/early '00s Goth music video.

Like Falling Stars by Avalon Roselin (@roselin-books-official)

A story about a girl who's forgotten her past and comes to develop a sweet friendship with a brooding ice faerie prince, and is brimming with so many cozy fantasy vibes!! Also all the fae characters in this novel are so colorful and lively, and they're all very heavily tied to elements and the seasons. Also ALSO!! The main relationship focuses primarily on platonic love as opposed to romantic, and is just as endearing! A perfect cozy winter/fall-time read.

Netvor: A Retelling of Beauty and the Beast by @rosesnwater

Both a completed novel and an in-progress webcomic available to read on Tapas and Webtoons. Again, another story where major themes center on storytelling and fairytales, but also recovering from trauma and grief! There are so, so many classic faerie vibes, and even featuring pinnacle figures from classic fae lore like the Goblin Market, and it manages to feel equal parts nostalgic and unique in its use of faerie lore!

Dandies in Danger podcast by @dandiesindanger

A table-top RPG podcast instead of a novel! It features four queer men that are dragged into a world of fae and horror, all while set against the backdrop of Regency era London. It starts as a VERY eerie fae mystery (featuring figures like Titania and Oberon), but it slowly becomes a dark, horror historical-fantasy, and it's great! Also art by the podcast's creators is so good!

So these are the recs I have to offer for now!! As always, feel free to add more recommendations!!!💛

[unquietspiritao3]

kayfabe in rpf

I’m back with another meta-essay on the nature of RPF! Did you miss me?

This time, I was inspired by some notes on a poll about shipping Greg/Alex which seemed to me to imply that some anti-RPF people believe us shippers want the real people to break up with their real partners and publicly get together. And…darlings, no.

But also, this essay isn’t really aimed at those people. I know there will always be antis, and I don’t expect to change their minds. My audience here is actually other RPF fans, because I believe I have a useful word for a concept we’re all familiar with, and adopting it more widely might help avoid confusion both amongst ourselves and with outsiders.

The word is

✨kayfabe✨

Now, I didn’t make up this word. I’m borrowing it from the world of professional wrestling—you know, Hulk Hogan and all that stuff.

Kayfabe (rhymes with ‘say babe’) refers to:

the tacit agreement between pro wrestlers and fans to pretend the staged/scripted events are genuine, and

the play-acting involved in maintaining that illusion of genuineness.

In the past, kayfabe in pro wrestling was almost never broken. Wrestlers stayed in character whenever they were in public. That’s lessened over the years, though, and these days all wrestling fans (unless they’re very young, I suppose) know what they are watching is fake and happily suspend their disbelief to keep kayfabe.

Hopefully you can already see the connection to Taskmaster here. When Alex goes on Sunday Brunch or whatever other UK show and talks about Greg being his ‘boss’, that is kayfabe. When he was asked at the NYC premiere to list five things he likes about Greg and one of them was “he’s a gentle lover”, that was also kayfabe. Conversely, when they went on Seth Meyers and Alex took the time to explain very carefully to the maybe-unfamiliar-with-Taskmaster audience that it’s his show and was his idea to make Greg the Taskmaster, he was breaking kayfabe.

(It should be noted, sometimes the division between kayfabe and reality is murky, like a real-life marriage getting written into a wrestling storyline, which is a whole other interesting discussion. Little Alex Horne’s wife is often mentioned on the show, but when Greg used Rachel’s actual name, some of the contestants were taken aback—did he blur the line of kayfabe a bit too much? But that’s beyond the scope of this essay.)

Now let’s expand this to the fandom. When we as shippers talk as if Greg and Alex have an actual sexual/romantic relationship, all knowing full well that they don’t, without explicitly acknowledging to each other that it’s a fantasy—a fiction we’re creating together—we are also keeping kayfabe. But if we wanted to talk about their real-life friendship behind all that, for instance, we could say, “Let’s break kayfabe for a moment…” and everyone would understand it’s time to set those shippy tendencies aside. It could help make the line between fiction and reality clear, both to ourselves and to outsiders looking in.

Of course none of this is limited to Taskmaster, it’s just the RPF fandom I’m in most deeply right now. I think it’d be useful for all RPF fans. At the very least, it’s fun to say. Kayfabe!

[dustedmagazine]

Listening Post: Kim Gordon

Kim Gordon has long been one of rock’s female icons, one of a tiny handful of women to get much play in Michael Azzerad’s underground-defining Our Band Could Be Your Life and a mainstay in the noise-rock monolith Sonic Youth. It’s hard to imagine that quintessential dude rock band without Gordon in front, dwarfed by her bass or spitting tranced out, pissed off verses over the storm of feedback.

Yet Gordon’s trajectory has been, if anything, even more fascinating since Sonic Youth’s demise in 2011. A visual artist first — she studied art at the Otis College of Art and Design before joining the band — she continues to paint and sculpt and create. She’s had solo art shows at established galleries in London and New York, most recently at the 303 Gallery in New York City. A veteran of indie films including Gus van Zant’s Last Days and Todd Haynes I’m Not There, she has also continued to act sporadically, appearing in the HBO series Girls and on an episode of Portlandia. Her memoir, Girl in a Band, came out in 2015.

But Gordon has remained surprisingly entrenched in indie music over the last decade. Many critics, including a few at Dusted, consider her Body Head, collaboration with Bill Nace the best of the post-Sonic Youth musical projects. The ensemble has now produced two EPs and three full-lengths. Gordon has also released two solo albums, which push her iconic voice into noisier, more hip hop influenced directions. We’re centering this listening post around The Collective, Gordon’s second and more recent solo effort, which comes out on Matador on March 8th, but we’ll likely also be talking about her other projects as well.

Intro by Jennifer Kelly

Jennifer Kelly: I missed No Home in 2019, so I was somewhat surprised by The Collective’s abrasive, beat-driven sound though I guess you could make connections to Sonic Youth’s Cypress Hill collaboration?

The more I listen to it, though, the more it makes sense to me. I’ve always liked the way Gordon plays with gender stereotypes, and “I’m a Man” certainly follows that trajectory. What are you guys hearing in The Collective?

Jonathan Shaw: I have only listened through the entire record once, but I am also struck by its intensities. Sort of silly to be surprised by that, given so many of the places she has taken us in the past: noisy, dangerous, dark. But there's an undercurrent of violence to these sounds that couples onto the more confrontational invocations and dramatizations of sex. It's a strong set of gestures. I like the record quite a bit.

Bill Meyer: I'm one of those who hold Body/Head to be the best effort of the post-Sonic Youth projects, but I'll also say that it's very much a band that creates a context for Gordon to do something great, not a solo effort. I was not so taken with No Home, which I played halfway through once upon its release and did not return to until we agreed to have this discussion. I've played both albums through once now, and my first impression is that No Home feels scattered in a classic post-band-breakup project fashion — “let's do a bit of this and that and see what sticks.” The Collective feels much more cohesive sonically, in a purposeful, “I'm going to do THIS” kind of way.

Jonathan Shaw: RE Jennifer's comment about “I'm a Man”: Agreed. The sonics are very noise-adjacent, reminding me of what the Body has been up to lately, or deeper underground acts like 8 Hour Animal or Kontravoid's less dancy stuff. Those acts skew masculine (though the Body has taken pains recently to problematize the semiotics of those photos of them with lots of guns and big dogs...). Gordon's voice and lyrics make things so much more explicit without ever tipping over into the didactic. And somehow her energy is in tune with the abrasive textures of the music, but still activates an ironic distance from it. In the next song, “Trophies,” I love it when she asks, “Will you go bowling with me?” The sexed-up antics that follow are simultaneously compelling and sort of funny. Rarely has bowling felt so eroticized.

Jennifer Kelly: I got interested in the beats and did a YouTube dive on some of the other music that Justin Raisen has been involved with. He's in an interesting place, working for hip hop artists (Lil Yachty, Drake), pop stars (Charli XCX) and punk or at least punk adjacent artists (Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Viagra Boys), but nothing I've found is as raw and walloping as these cuts.

“The Candy House” is apparently inspired by Jennifer Egan's The Candy House, which is about a technology that enables people to share memories... Gordon is pretty interested in phones and communications tech and how that's changing art and human interaction.

Andrew Forell: My immediate reaction to the beats was oh, The Bug and JK Flesh, in particular the MachineEPs by the former and Sewer Bait by the latter. Unsurprisingly, as Jonathan says, she sounds right at home within that kind of dirty noise but is never subsumed by it

Jennifer Kelly: I don't have a deep reference pool in electronics, but it reminded me of Shackleton and some of the first wave dub steppers. Also, a certain kind of late 1990s/early aughts underground hip hop like Cannibal Ox and Dalek.

Bryon Hayes: Yeah, I hear some Dalek in there, too. Also, the first Death Grips mixtape, Ex-Military.

It's funny, I saw the track title “I'm a Man,” and my mind immediately went to Bo Diddley for some reason, I should have known that Kim would flip the script, and do it in such a humorous way. I love how she sends up both the macho country-lovin’ bros and the sensitive metrosexual guys. It's brilliant!

This has me thinking about “Kool Thing”, and how Chuck D acts as the ‘hype man’ to Kim Gordon in that song. I'm pretty sure that was unusual for hip hop at the time. Kim's got a long history of messing with gender stereotypes.

Bill Meyer: Gordon did a couple videos for this record, and she starred her daughter Coco in both of them. The one for “I'm A Man” teases out elements of gender fluidity, how that might be expressed through clothing, and different kinds of watching. I found the video for “Bye Bye” more interesting. All the merchandise that's listed in the video turns out to be a survival kit, one that I imagine that Gordon would know that she has to have to get by. The protagonist of the video doesn't know that, and their unspoken moment in a car before Coco runs again was poignant in a way that I don't associate with her work. And of messing with hip hop!

Tim Clarke: “Bye Bye” feels like a companion to The Fall’s “Dr Buck’s Letter.”

Bill Meyer: From The Unutterable? I'll have to a-b them.

Tim Clarke: That’s the one.

Jonathan Shaw: All of these comments make me think of the record’s title, and the repeated line in “The Candy House”: “I want to join the collective.” Which one? The phone on the record’s cover nods toward our various digital collectives — spaces for communication and expression, and spaces for commerce, all of which seem to be harder and harder to tell apart. A candy house, indeed. Why is it pink? Does she have a feminine collective in mind? A feminine collective unconscious? The various voices and lyric modes on the record suggest that's a possibility. For certain women, and for certain men working hard to understand women, Gordon has been a key member of that collective for decades.

Jennifer Kelly: The title is also the title of a painting from her last show in New York.

The holes are cell phone sized.

You can read about the show here, but here's a representative quote: “The iPhone promises freedom, and control over communication,” she says. “It’s an outlet of self-expression, and an escape and a distraction from the bigger picture of what’s going on in the world. It’s also useful for making paintings.”

Gordon is a woman, and a woman over 70 at that — by any measure an underrepresented perspective in popular culture. However, I’d caution against reading The Collective solely as a feminist statement. “I'm a Man,” for instance, is told from the perspective of an incel male, an act of storytelling and empathy not propaganda. My sense is that Gordon is pretty sick of being asked, “What's it like to be a girl in a band?” (per “Sacred Trickster”) and would like, maybe, to be considered as an artist.

It's partly a generational thing. I'm a little younger than she is, but we both grew up in the patriarchy and mostly encountered gender as an external restriction.

As an aside, one of my proudest moments was when Lucas Jensen interviewed me about what it was like to be a freelance music writer, anonymously, and Robert Christgau wrote an elaborate critique of the piece that absolutely assumed I was a guy. If you're not on a date or getting married or booking reproductive care, whose business is it what gender you are?

There, that's a can of worms, isn't it?

Jonathan Shaw: Feminine isn't feminist. I haven't listened nearly closely enough to the record to hazard an opinion about that. More important, it seems to me the masculine must be in the feminine unconsciousness, and the other way around, too. Precisely because femininity has been used as a political weapon, it needs imagining in artistic spaces. Guess I also think those terms more discursively than otherwise: there are male authors who have demonstrated enormous facility with representing femininity. James, Joyce, Kleist, and so on. Gordon has always spoken and sung in ways that transcend a second-wave sort of feminine essence. “Shaking Hell,” “PCH,” the way she sings “I Wanna Be Your Dog.”

Jennifer Kelly: Sure, she has always been shape-shifter artistically.

The lyrics are super interesting, but almost obliterated by noise. I’m seeing a connection to our hyperconnected digital society where everything is said but it’s hard to listen and focus.

Bill Meyer: Concrete guy that I am, I’ve found myself wishing I had a lyric sheet even though her voice is typically the loudest instrument in the mix.

Andrew Forell: Yes, that sense of being subsumed in the white noise of (dis)information and opinion feels like the utopian ideal of democratizing access has become a cause and conduit of alienation in which the notion of authentic voices has been rendered moot. It feels integral to the album as a metaphor

Christian Carey: How much of the blurring of vocals (good lyrics — mind you) might involve Kim’s personal biography, I wonder? From her memoirs, we know how much she wished for a deflection of a number of things, most having to do with Thurston and the disbandment of SY.

Thurston was interviewed recently and said that he felt SY would regroup and be able to be professional about things. He remarked that it better be soon: SY at eighty wouldn’t be a good look!

Andrew Forell: And therein lies something essential about why that could never happen

Ian Mathers: I know I’m far in the minority here (and elsewhere) because I’ve just never found Sonic Youth that compelling, despite several attempts over the years to give them another chance. And for specifically finding Thurston Moore to be an annoying vocal presence (long before I knew anything about his personal life, for what it's worth). So, I’m in no hurry to see them reunite, although I do think it would be both funny and good if everyone except Moore got back together.

Having not kept up with Gordon much post-SY beyond reading and enjoying her book, I wasn’t sure what to expect from this record. After a couple of listens, I’m almost surprised how much I like it. Even though I’m lukewarm on SY’s music, she’s always been a commanding vocal presence and lyricist and that hasn’t changed here (I can echo all the praise for “I’m a Man,” and also “I was supposed to save you/but you got a job” is so bathetically funny) and I like the noisier, thornier backing she has here. I also think the parts where the record gets a bit more sparse (“Shelf Warmer”) or diffuse (“Psychic Orgasm”) still work. I've enjoyed seeing all the comparisons here, none of which I thought of myself and all of which makes sense to me. But the record that popped into my head as I listened was Dead Rider’s Chills on Glass. Similar beat focus, “thick”/distorted/noisy/smeared production, declamatory vocals. I like that record a lot, so it's not too surprising I'm digging this one.

Jennifer Kelly: I loved Sonic Youth but have zero appetite for the kind of nostalgia trip, just the hits reunion tour that getting back together would entail.

Jonathan Shaw: Yeah, no thanks to that.

RE Christian's comment: Not sure I see deflection so much as the impossibility of integration. We are all many, many selves, always have been. Digital communications interfaces and social media have just lifted it to another level of experience. Gordon sez, “I don't miss my mind.” Not so much a question of missing it in the emotional/longing sense, more so acknowledging that phrases like “my mind” have always been meaningless. Now we partition experience and identity into all of these different places, and we sign those pieces of ourselves over, to Zuck and the algorithms. We know it. We do it anyways, because it's the candy house, full of sweets and pleasures that aren't so good for us, but are really hard to resist. “Come on, sweets, take my hand...”

Bill Meyer: I would not mind hearing all of those SY songs I like again, can’t lie, although I don’t think that I’d spend Love Earth Tour prices to hear them. But given the water that has passed under the bridge personally, and the length of time since anyone in the band has collaborated creatively (as opposed to managing the ongoing business of Sonic Youth, which seems to be going pretty well), a SY reunion could only be a professionally presented piece of entertainment made by people who have agreed to put aside their personal differences and pause their artistic advancement in order to make some coin. There may be good reasons to prioritize finances. Maybe Thurston and/or Kim wants to make sure that they don’t show up on Coco’s front door, demanding to move their record or art collection into her basement, in their dotage. And Lee’s a man in his late 60s with progeny who are of an age to likely have substantial student loan debt. But The Community is just the kind of thing they’d have to pause. It feels like the work of someone who is still curious, questioning, commenting. It's not just trying to do the right commercial thing.

Justin Cober-Lake: I’m finding this one to be a sort of statement album. I’d stop short of calling it a concept album, but there seems to be a thematic center. I think a key element of the album is the way that it looks for... if not signal and noise, at least a sense of order and comprehensibility in a chaotic world. Gordon isn’t even passing judgment on the world — phones are bad, phones are good, phones make art, etc. But there’s a sense that our world is increasingly brutal, and we hear that not just in the guitars, but in the beats, and the production. “BYE BYE” really introduces the concept. Gordon’s leaving (and we can imagine this is autobiographical), but she’s organizing everything she needs for a new life. “Cigarettes for Keller” is a heartbreaking line, but she moves on, everything that makes up a life neatly ordered next to each other, iBook and medications in the same line. It reminds me of a Hemingway character locking into the moment to find some semblance of control in the chaos.

Getting back to gender, there’s a funny line at the end: one of the last things she packs is a vibrator. I'm not sure if we're to read this as a joke, a comment on the necessity of sexuality in a life full of transitory moments, as a foreshadowing of the concepts we’ve discussed, or something else. The next item (if it’s something different) is a teaser, which could be a hair care product or something sexual (playing off — or with — the vibrator). Everything's called into question: the seriousness of the track, the gender/sexuality ideas, what really matters in life. Modern gadgets, life-sustaining medicines, and sex toys all get equal rank. That tension really adds force to the song.

Coming out of “BYE BYE,” it's easy to see a disordered world that sounds extremely noisy, but still has elements we can comprehend within the noise. I don’t want to read the album reductively and I don't think it's all about this idea, but it's something that, early on in my listening, I find to be a compelling aspect of it.

[lupinblacktheone]

First times chapter 1 - Freshmen

Hello, friends! This is the first chapter of my fic "First times" for the @newsiesminibang24

I had a lot of fun writing this and I hope you will enjoy it as well! The artist was @cowboy-caboodles. Check out his amazing art here:

Read it in AO3!

 “And… there”, said Mr. Jacobs, placing the last box on the wooden floor.

         “Thanks, dad.”

         “Have you got everything you need, honey?”, Mrs. Jacobs asked, looking around the room.

         “Let me see… books, clothes, computer, sheets, extra sheets, snack money…”, the young man rubbed his forehead, making his father giggle. “Oh, yeah. Can I have an extra hug?”

         The woman wrapped her son in a bear hug and kissed his cheek. “Take care.”

         “I will.”

         “Can we visit Sarah now, mom?”, Les begged, pulling on the woman’s skirt. 

         After one more hug and kiss, Esther allowed Meyer to bid their son goodbye.

         “If you need anything, just call us, ok?”

         “Alright, dad.”

         As the family left the room, David turned around to start unpacking his clothes. Halfway through the second box, he heard his mother’s voice again.

         “Medda, darling!”

         He rushed to the door, just in time to see her kissing the cheek of the theater star Medda Larkin. Of course renowned journalists and authors Esther and Meyer Jacobs would treat her as an old friend.

Maybe they really are friends, David shrugged. They had reviewed all of her shows, after all.

“Come here, honey”, Esther waved at him. “I want to introduce you.”

Long ago, David had learned to hide his shyness in front of his parents’ acquaintances, posing as the erudite, well-behaved, happy-not-to-be-noticed middle child. And he was glad to play that role, because it allowed Sarah to take on the intellectual discussions and Les to be the life of the room.

This time, the boy wasn’t interested in charming Miss Medda. He’d rather make someone behind the adults burst into laughter instead.  David looked past his mother’s shoulder to find his little brother telling jokes to a young man around David’s age — probably a freshman as well —, his hair covered by a vintage cap and dressed in a blue button-up shirt.

“Well, if you’ll excuse us, we have to pay a visit to our daughter”, said Meyer.

“Send Sarah my regards”, she waved

Of course Medda Larkin knows Sarah, David laughed to himself.

The house where Sarah lived with two other girls was a fifteen-minute drive away from David’s dorm. As soon as Sarah noticed them getting out of the car, she put a box on the floor and jumped into her father’s arms.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming? The place is a mess.”

“How could we not come? Today’s David’s moving day”, Esther kissed Sarah’s cheeks.

“That’s the famous David Jacobs?”, said one of Sarah’s roommates, with bright brown hair.

“The one and only”, he showed her a tiny smile as they shook hands.

“We’ll be throwing a party this weekend. Wanna come?”

“I appreciate it, but I have a lot of things to unpack.”

“C’mon, little bro”, Sarah jokingly slapped David’s arm. “I can come over and help you. And besides, parties are mandatory credits for freshmen. Did you know that?”

“Who are you and what have you done to my sister?”, they laughed. “You used to be daddy’s little princess.”

“And you still are momma’s precious boy, I see.”

“Knock it off, you two”, Les demanded, pushing David so he could hug Sarah.

“She’s right, you know”, Meyer whispered in David's ear. “Not about the credits, of course, but socializing at this stage is very important.”

“Dad…”

“I just want to make sure you are well-adjusted to this whole thing.”

“Fine. If that will make you feel better, I can come to the party.”

“That’s my boy.”

With the rest of the family gone, Sarah drove David back to his dorm, advising him to lose the tweed vest to the party.

“Nobody will want to be your friend if you look like a professor.”

“Thank you”, he grunted, forcing the door open. “For the ride and the advice.”

“Anytime”, she winked at him and drove off.

He walked into the building as fast as he could, trying —and failing, to a certain degree — to avoid the annoying drizzle. He climbed the stairs back to his room.

“I have already picked out my bed”, a male voice announced before David could acknowledge his owner.

It was the young man who laughed at Les’ jokes earlier. He had hung his cap and changed the blue shirt for a pair of — apparently very soft — gray pajamas. They met in the middle of the room to shake hands.

“The name is Jack Kelly”, said he, pocketing his hands.

“David Jacobs.”

“Oh, so you are Les’ brother?”

From Sarah’s brother to Les’ brother. What an upgrade.

“I have never done this before. What do we do now?”

“I think we are supposed to become best friends by default.”

“Sounds like a good plan.”

“So, soon-to-be-best-friend, do you have any plans for the weekend?”, David asked.

Jack’s shoulders went down. “Probably write emails to my friends and draw a little. I’m a bit rusty.”

“I know a place where you’ll find a ton of references.”

Jack showed him a large smile.

“I’ll take my new pencils.”

David sent Sarah a text, just to let her know he had invited his roommate to her party, without giving his brain the time necessary for it to reflect on what was happening.

For the rest of the night, the boys sat in a comfortable silence, with David arranging more of his belongings and Jack sketching — to warm up the muscles for the art classes.

***

“Hey”, Jack said the next morning.

David’s response was a long, heart-felt yawn and a nod.

Jack put on his favorite blue shirt and a pair of jeans. All of his art materials for the day were packed — he even remembered to include some personal favorites along with the recommended list of brushes and paint. Medda had given him a debit card so he could get more supplies and snacks anytime he wanted.

This was his first official day at college and he wouldn’t let anything ruin it, not even a cranky roommate.

As soon as classes started that day, the notice boards of the dorms were flooded by colorful posters inviting freshmen to participate in the most ordinary or exquisite extra-curricular activities, clubs and teams or to join fraternities and sororities. Others, more discreet, announced part-time jobs at restaurants and shops nearby. Jack stopped by it, just to take a look — or so he said. Maybe something interesting would pop up.

“Do you mind giving me a hand?”, said a boy, holding a box full of pamphlets.

“Sure.”

Once he freed himself of that burden,  the boy attached another notice to the board: an invitation for the rugby trials.

“You can take one if you want”, he said, taking the box back. “It’ll be next Wednesday.”

“Thanks”, Jack grabbed a bright red piece of paper.

“I’m Race, by the way.”

“Jack.”

“See ya ‘round”, he waved and walked out of the building.”  

Despite not being late to his first period — art history, what a cliché —, Jack felt the weight of sixty eyes staring him down as he walked by the desks trying to find a free spot. A pink-haired girl dragged some of her stuff, clearing space for him to sit by her side — and protecting her drawing from potential “art thieves” (her words, not mine) in the process.

Everybody around him seemed so… creative and busy. It was almost like he could hear these people’s minds working to create this century’s Starry Night and Jack had nothing more than a few drafts in his sketchbook.

“You are capable of great things”, Medda used to say. “But remember to always run your own race.”

Medda had given Jack all kinds of advice — both as a parent and as an artist —, but that one had always stood out in Jack's brain. Maybe that was because if the world around him was a race, he was definitely losing.

The professor entered the room and the focused students immediately turned their eyes to the white board. Seventeen minutes into the lecture and he had already lost half of his listeners. Most of them were texting, the phones hidden under their desks, like in High School.

When the girl by Jack’s side started to doodle on her notebook — and she was doing a pretty good job on that beach landscape! —, he shook his head, in an effort to regain concentration. Medda worked very hard to find a school with an art program that suited him — not to mention she was paying for his tuition. He would not let her down. He took a deep breath, counted to five, let all the air out through his mouth and grabbed a pencil. Not to draw, but to take notes.

Ninety minutes later, Jack left the room, slightly proud of himself for having sat through such a long class — he would mention it in his next email to Medda, for sure. Now he was on his way to a more “artsy” class, at the carpentry workshop.

With a sigh, the professor told every student to take protection equipment from the locker at the back of the room as soon as they entered. Then, she proceeded to read the syllabus with her monotonous voice. The first project was going to be a medium decorative sculpture. They weren’t going to use the saw yet, but there were sharp tools involved, so they ought to be careful anyways.

Attached to the syllabus, there was a list of forbidden sculptures — tables, shelves, squares and any other kind of simple shape and so on and so forth for two and a half pages.

Jack turned his head to the left, getting a view of the front patio through the window. There had to be a loophole on this list he could explore. He just needed some help to find it.

The bell finally rang, prompting the students to return the equipment to their respective boxes and flee the premises. Jack’s stomach growled as he reached the cement path.

He had a free period before lunch was served, so he bought a snack — a bag of chips and a bottle of lemon juice, his favorites — and headed to the dorm, with the hope that he would have the place to himself.

But well, he was wrong. David was hunched over his desk, typing as if the wooden floor was about to open and shallow him.

 “How’s it going?”, Jack asked, letting the heavy backpack fall on the bed with a muffled sound.

“One day into this and I am already screwed.”, he rubbed his forehead and took a glance at the blank document he should be working on. “You?”

“I am thinking about dropping out”, David stared at him, his eyes wide open. “Relax, it’s just Carpentry.”

They stayed there, in an awkward silence trying to figure out how to kill that piece of free time.

“If you had to write an essay about a historical period, what time would you choose?”, David got Jack’s attention.

“Something easy, like the eighties or the nineties”, Jack approached the desk to read the text on the computer screen. The professor wanted the students to do some broad research — focusing on wherever they found interesting or important — and then, write a news article about it. “Or maybe the seventies. Then, you can write about the hippie movement and its impacts in modern society.”

“I liked your first idea better. I can dissect the millennial lifestyle. Maybe interview some people.” 

Then Jack decided to work on a portrait of Medda, based on a picture taken on the day he graduated from High School. It would make a good Christmas present when finished.

She started acting when she was seventeen, so all the changes time imposed on her were registered somewhere. At thirty-five, when she became Jack’s foster parent, she didn’t look like the star-strucking beauty she once was, but she was gorgeous, for sure. Now, ten years later, she was considered a maternal figure by pretty much everyone who laid eyes on her. However, he still found it difficult to represent her kind and soft gaze.

“Who is she?”, David said, over Jack’s shoulder.

“My mom.”

“That looks awesome, man. Do you take commissions?” 

I do now, Jack thought, nodding.

“Great. Can you paint a picture of my family? They would love it”, he started scrolling through his phone’s gallery. “This one is good. Can you do it?”

Jack studied the image. It showed a happy couple with their three smiley children in front of their double-deck house. He recognized the younger versions of David and Les, along with a girl — perhaps one or two years older than David.

“ I charge fifteen bucks per person plus ten dollars if the background is complex. So that adds up to…”, he pressed buttons on his phone’s calculator. “Eighty-five bucks.”

“Is it okay if I give you fifty bucks now and…”

“The rest when it’s done?”, Jack raised an eyebrow. “Fine, but only because I know where you sleep”, he laughed.

This guy has got a weird sense of humor, David thought, transferring him the money. 

“It is a pleasure to make business with you, good sir.”

***

“We should get going”, David announced on Friday night.

In twenty minutes, they were ready to go to Sarah’s party. Despite the chilly wind, they decided to walk there and take a look around the campus. They passed by fraternity houses and dorm buildings where blaring music could be heard through closed windows and people were already wasted.

He is hating this, David thought as Jack walked silently by his side. He’ll go back to the dorm and never talk to me again.

Jack didn’t. He just kept kicking pebbles along the sidewalk. Around his head, the world was covered by a dark blue cloth as the moon got up from behind the clouds.

Sarah’s house was the block’s church mouse when they got there. David walked ahead of Jack to ring the doorbell.

“Coming!”, an unknown voice announced. The girl took a glance at David before shouting louder: “Your brother’s here!”

“Thanks, Kath”, the girl seemed to have appeared out of thin air. “Evening, boys.”

She hugged David and extended a hand to Jack.

“I’m Jack, the roommate”, he said, shaking her hand politely.

“I’m Sarah, the sister. C’mon, the guys want to meet you.”

In the neatly-decorated living room, two boys were sitting in front of the TV, playing Mario Kart. On the other side of the room, three girls are discussing a book over cups of coffee. Sarah got a hold of David’s arm and dragged him through the little groups. Jack approached the snack table to have some soda.

“Can you fill this up, please?”

Jack filled a cup with lemon soda up to the top and gave it back to the boy who was leaning on the wall next to him.

“Thanks”, he drank a big gulp and burped. “S-sorry. I’m thirsty.”

“Oh, hi, Thirsty. I’m Jack.”

“That was terrible”, he chuckled.

“What? You almost spilled your drink!”

“That’s because I have weak nerd arms”, he flexed his left arm. “My name is Charlie, but everyone calls me Crutchie.”

Before Jack could open his mouth again, the boy showed him the crutch under his right armpit.

“So, how did you sneak in?”, Crutchie grinned. “The window?”

“Nah, Sarah’s brother invited me.”

“Which one is he?”, Crutchie fixed his posture to look around.

“The one with the black pants over there.”

“Hmmm… your boyfriend is pretty.”

“Not my boyfriend. Roommate.”

Someone turned some jazz music on with a loud giggle.

“C’mon, Jane. This isn’t a café!”, Crutchie said. 

“But it looks like one”, a girl replied.

All eyes in the room had turned to the argument going on, except for David’s. He was way too focused on his own conversation to care about people around him. He didn’t even seem to notice that the girls near him had basically turned their backs on him to participate in the “Jane vs. Crutchie” thing.

His hands had stopped mid-air, drawing visual aids for a story Jack couldn’t hear. Something in the scene reminded him of the Vitruvian man he had seen a thousand times in Arts classrooms.

He grabbed the sketchbook and pencil in his pocket and drew a circle. He could draw a basic face with his eyes closed, but it didn’t mean he wouldn’t have trouble getting the hands right.

***

Sarah’s friends were very interesting, David noticed as she introduced him to each one of them. Especially the girl who opened the door.  Her name was Katherine and she was more than happy to follow Sarah around. Actually, it seemed that both girls were satisfied with the arrangement, because  every few minutes, Sarah would interrupt the conversation to look for Katherine.

Their other roommate turned some music on while people sat down to eat pizza and drink soda. David watched as Jack helped a boy fill his plate with mini pizza slices.

“You can ask”, Sarah placed a hand on David’s shoulder. “But don’t stare. That is rude.”

 Only then, David noticed the crutch on which the right side of the boy’s body leaned. It wasn’t thicker than a twig and was almost invisible against the yellow wallpaper. And his wide jeans covered any defects his leg could have.

Now Jack, with that button-up shirt he loved so much, was as bright as the Sun. Their conversation was inaudible from across the room, but Jack was smiling a lot — David liked to see him smiling, because that Carpentry project was gradually sucking his soul away.

  Speaking of assignments, David had his own problem to solve: a short story with tridimensional characters and a man vs. society and a man vs. self conflicts. That on top of all the other homework he had to do made his brain twirl. He knew he could make it, but he also wanted to run back to his dorm and type his fingers out.

Stop, take a deep breath and take a look around, was Esther’s advice every time her children had trouble writing. Maybe the universe has got a clue for you.

“So, Debra has quit for real this time?”, Sarah asked Katherine.

“Yeah. She got that position she was hoping for.”

“So you need a new assistant.”

“Correct.”

“You know, my little bro here studies journalism too. And he would love to join the newspaper.” 

“I see…”, Katherine looked at David with a raised eyebrow. “You start on Monday. Thanks, love”, she turned around to kiss Sarah’s cheek.

“Anything for you, dear.”

Sarah finally let go of David’s arm, just to grab Katherine’s waist and walk away. In a millisecond, David crossed the room and sat by Jack’s side, ready to whisper at his ear:

“I’m in.”

“The newspaper?”, David nodded with a huge smile. “That’s great, Davey.”

Davey. No one had ever thought of calling him that way. And when the word came out of Jack’s lips, it sounded like a brand-new symphony.

“C’mon, let’s celebrate”,  Jack offered him a hand.

“I thought you wanted to draw!”

“I have enough sketches for three months now.”

 They put their coats on and got out the door. Jack held it open to David by instinct.

“Why, thank you”, David smiled at him. “You are a true gentleman.”

“Mom taught me well.”

Again, they walked in silence to the empty bus stop. Around them, parties were still going on — and with no end in sight.

“I know a place that sells great coffee. They call it ‘secret blend’ or something”, Jack said, getting on the bus.

“Lead the way, then.”

They passed by the college campus and entered the city neighborhood — which was inhabited mostly by students nevertheless. The apartment buildings were not too high. It was like a toddler had placed some toy construction blocks in groups of four with strip malls under them here and there.

Cheap burger and coffee shops raised to the sky, their green spotlights bashing the sidewalks and streets. They stopped in front of an obscure shop, with a half-lit sign that said “Dale’s” in blue neon calligraphy. This time, David opened the door, which earned him a smile from Jack.

The place wasn’t busy, so they grabbed a seat near the window and waited for someone to bring them the menu. A girl their age — her name was Patricia, according to the little tag on her shirt — welcomed them to Dale’s Coffee Shop, the most trendy place in town and the unofficial home of the Gray Tigers.

 “I should start calling myself an unofficial member of the Gray Tigers”, Jack pondered as the waitress left. “At least, it sounds good”, he looked so determined saying that. Not to mention he had been training and talking about it non-stop ever since he met Racetrack. 

Jack ordered an espresso with one cream and five sugars and David asked for a vanilla cold brew. While waiting, the boys observed the movement on the street.

“I almost forgot”, David said, watching as an old man carried a seemingly heavy wooden box. “How is your Carpentry project?”

“I still have no idea what to do about that”, Jack sighed. “We are not allowed to use simple shapes or saws, so what can we do? I hate this class so much I can’t come up with a single thing.”

“You could take two square pieces, sandpaper them on the top and sides, nail them together and paint it red. Boom! You have a heart.”

“Thanks”, Jack gave him a shy smile. “Actually, do you mind if I use your idea?”

“Yeah. Happy to help.”

David’s mind once again wondered about the short story he had to write. The only thing he knew was that he wanted to discuss the desires and agonies of a young artist’s heart.

“Hey, Jack”, the boy looked up from his phone. “I have a tricky assignment to do. 

“And what is that?”

“A short story.” 

“That should be no trouble for you, a freshman and already a member of the university newspaper.”

 “The thing is: it has to meet some weird requirements and I was thinking I could use you as an inspiration for my main character?”

“Yeah. Just don’t give the poor guy an overly tragic death, ok?”

David nodded as a cup was placed in front of him. Jack was served immediately after and then, his world could be summarized to that slightly stained, chipped porcelain cup.

“You should at least try your drink”, David suggested. “It will get cold.”

“Oh”, Jack shook his head, now passing his gaze to David. He had a gulp of his coffee, perfectly made, as Race said it would be. “Do you have a plot for the story?”

“Kinda. I know what I want to explore, I just don’t know how.”

“Tell me about it. That might help.”

As David recited the concepts he had in mind, Jack noticed how his elbows leaned against the plywood table.

I wonder if he’ll think it’s rude if I do a quick sketch.

“What are you drawing?”

“It’s… hum… your character”, he finished the hair, parted in the middle, like David said. “See?”

“Wow!”, he stared at the small page. “It looks great! I love what you did with his hair.”

“You can use it to illustrate your story if you want.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It’ll give me an excuse to use the graphics tablet my mom’s friend got me.”

“Thank you.”

“Think nothing of it”, Jack wiped the air in front of him.

“Sorry guys, but I need you to leave”, the waitress approached them, followed by a tall, bald man (probably her manager). “We are about to close.”

“Oh, ok. Sorry”, said Jack, getting up. “How much do we owe you?”

Jack insisted on paying for the whole bill — he also left a generous tip. After all, he was the one who did the inviting.

“After you, good sir”, David held the door open.

“Aren’t they the cutest?”, the guy whispered  at the girl’s ear a second before the door was closed.

“I know, right?”

[heyimspade]

This isn't something I talk about a lot, but it's inportant for context.

I was an extremely suicidal kid, but only due to circumstances rather than depression. Every day when I got home from school, I was beaten (along with 3 of my other adopted siblings) by our adoptive parents.

EVERY

FUCKING

DAY

For 15 years, we had to deal with it, and we all found Solice in works from artists, one of my siblings preferred Jk Rowling, another preferred Stephane Meyer, and the other preferred music.

My first year of middle school, I was full well and prepared to kill myself at any given moment. I didn't see any end to the torment, but then I found the graphic novel section in our school's library. I read Kingdom Hearts, .Hack, and various TokyoPop titles, but then I stumbled upon 3 little Red books with a character strangley similar to Son Wukong in human form on the cover. I read them, and became obsessed. That was the original Dragon Ball Manga. It was goofy, had some very rated R jokes, but it was a blast. I read the entire series online by the time the second quarter of school rolled around.

Now I didn't realize the story continued until Dragon Ball Z Kai started airing on nicktoons.

And I watched, EVERY EPISODE AND MOVIE THAT AIRED.

It was my motivation. It kept me going.

"I can't kill myself, DBZKai still hasn't done the buu arc yet and theres talk of more movies and shows coming soon. They're gonna be doing GT next."

It wounds stupid I know, but I was a kid and that's all it took.

Now modern day, I turn 25 soon, and I am still keeping up on all things DBZ. I play all the games, have every episode and movie ever aired or released on DVD, and a digital copy of every book. (Including "That time I woke up as Yamcha").

Last night after a 10 hour shift at work, I got home, laid down in bed, and started playing mobile games to help me wind down. (It works for me, idk why).

Right when I was about to doze off, I get a text from from a co-worker who also liked DBZ. The text broke me. It was like I had lost something very important to me.

Akira Toriyama has worked himself to death at age 68. Died from a blood clot to the brain on March 1st.

I'll never get the chance to tell him "Thank you, for all you've done for me."

He changed my life. He made it better, made it easier to get through all hardships, even now.

I don't want him to go.

I just wish I had 1 more chance to tell him how much he impacted my life, as well as others.

Rest in peace, Akira Toriyama. You created a legacy, and you will be severely missed.

[suchacomet]

Spring Awakening Fandom Tag

(By @winter-asleepening, tagged (kinda) by @feelssogoodinmyarms )

sorry for this being long and for jumping in on this out of nowhere, i got excited and i missed talking about this show now that i’m once again in my yearly spring awakening phase thanks to seeing a local production yesterday :)

1. How were you introduced to the show?

i was an emo kid trying to find musicals i liked bc i started doing theater in high school, i saw american idiot was made into a musical, and followed the john gallagher jr rabbit hole to a b00tl3g of obc spring awakening. this happened to be in 2014 and when i heard about dwsa on broadway i conned my mom into taking me to nyc to see it (i didnt tell her how sexual it was i just said “it’s about teens coming of age in germany set to rock music” and she had Words for me during that intermission lol)

2. Seen a production live?

yes, four: dwsa, a local college production, and two productions at local theater companies in the areas i’ve lived

3. Dream role/character you relate to most

y’all already know it’s moritz…. i imprinted on him when i was 14 and have never stopped being obsessed with him as a character. but i think it’s more likely i’d get the chance to play ilse before moritz and i would love to play ilse as well

4. Favorite male character

mort steeple :) i have never gotten enough of this dude, ever

5. Favorite female character

wendla <3 she’s such a good character when she’s played with the right amount of joy, stubbornness, and curiosity

6. Deaf West Revival or Original Broadway Cast?

dwsa all the way. i appreciate obc for what it is but dwsa is my definitive best revival/adaptation ever ever ever

7. Favorite song

comet on its way :) christ such a whole, like, deal 🙄😏

but if you force me to pick “a real song” that “is actually in the show” then… i think a production that has a really good “and then there were none” is killer bc it means 1. they’re focusing on my favorite boy moritz and 2. they have an adult woman who plays fanny gabor compassionately but flawed in a way that underscores the show’s themes around adults not trusting kids with their own minds and bodies. which i greatly enjoy

8. Least favorite song

this is unfair of me bc it never fails to make me cry and it has one of my favorite lyrics ever in it (window by window you try and look into this brave new you that you are) but it’s “the guilty ones” bc i think “there once was a pirate” is better. my hot take is that dwsa is only version of spring awakening i’ve ever seen where i actually prefer their use of guilty ones instead of pirate

9. Favorite quote/line

musical: so maybe i should be some kind of laundry line / hang their things on me / and i will swing ‘em dry / you just wave in the sun through the afternoon / and then see / they come to set you free / beneath the rising moon - don’t do sadness it’s just such an evocative description of feeling hopeless against all the pressures of life and perfectly encapsulates being 15 and desperate and just wanting a little bit of relief. plus the way daniel durant and alex boniello performed this is so killer. moritz stiefel i love you

play: “don’t let’s be sad […] if we recall this in thirty years, perhaps we shall make fun of it.——and yet everything is so beautiful. the mountains glow; the grapes hang before our mouths and the evening breeze caresses the rocks like a playful flatterer.” from hans in the vineyard scene. augh it’s just so tender and lovely in a way that the musical doesn’t have the time/ability to address, with the acknowledgement that yes this moment is temporary and who knows if ernst and hanschen will “make it”. and yet. everything is so beautiful. also PROOF THAT HANSCHEN ISNT A CREEP OR MANIPULATIVE HE IS ALSO A TEEN BOY IN LOVE FUCK YOU STEVEN SATER

10. Favorite TV performance

always and forever dwsa touch me on seth meyer i have seen it at least two hundred times and i’m not exaggerating

11. Favorite cast member(s)

daniel durant always always always. he is such a talent i’m so glad his career seems to be taking off, he’s genuinely one of the best actors i’ve ever seen in my whole life.

12. Favorite cast member moment

can i say 1st national tour cabaret where the boys performed comet on its way in order to bring up comet on its way again. if not it’s when i gave daniel durant a painting of him as moritz at stage door and i was a shy anxious teen who learned just enough asl to say “hi” and “thank you” and “will you sign my playbill please” and he was SO sweet to me and lovely and he hugged me and i know actors do that kind of shit all the time and i’m sure he doesn’t remember it but it really made my whole life when it happened :’)

13. Do you write fan fiction?

not outside of personal catharsis pieces that have never seen the light of day. i made an aloto/vineyard scene web weaving post though that i do think goes hard

14. Do you make fan art?

i still love the moritz and then there were none piece i did a few years ago but i haven’t done a whole lot past that… that may change though i want to get back into drawing

15. Do you cosplay?

no, but spring awakening costumes have 10000% influenced my real life fashion and hair decisions. lol

16. Don’t do Sadness or Blue Wind?

i just saw this GORGEOUS performance of dds/bw where ilse sobbed through her verse of blue wind and the rest of the cast like gathered around her and slowly peeled away to represent her memory/longing for real connection and the reality of her never really having that at all, and really underscoring that her spoken lines about her new life in the artist’s colony and wanting to take moritz home are just posturing to hide how lonely she is… so right now i think blue wind

17. Word of Your Body or the Reprise?

reprise when it’s done earnestly, but i do really love the lyrics in woyb

18. Touch Me or My Junk?

my junk! i love seeing the different ways it’s staged between georg and hanschen and the girls, plus it’s the only time the girls get to be horny

19. Explain the Song of Purple Summer

it’s a metatextual message from the story of spring awakening to the audience that underscores the themes of open and honest communication being the key to healthy people and relationships, it’s asking the adults in the audience to believe children (when they say they’re gay, when they ask for information and want to be given all of it, when they ask for help and say they want to die), it’s a message of hope to the kids in the seats who relate too much to the kids on stage, telling us that it will get better

20. Explain the Song of Purple Summer (wrong answers only)

horses fuck and have foal babies idk <3

that was very fun thank you for indulging me. if any of mine olde spring awakening/dwsa mutuals are still around please consider this me tagging you <3

[stormyoceans]

what's the song that plays during glasshouse also is it possible to share a list of songs/music that's not known much in the series

NOBODY MOVE THIS IS MY TIME I HAVE AN EXCUSE TO MAKE A MASTERPOST OF THE VICE VERSA SOUNDTRACK AKA THEE BEST SOUNDTRACK IN TELEVISION HISTORY SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO HERE WE GO!!!!!!!!!!

OFFICIAL OST

have i found – sea tawinan

the key – jimmy jitaraphol, sea tawinan

complicated – indy thanathat

by my side – jimmy jitaraphol

madly in love – jimmy jitaraphol, sea tawinan

INSERT SONGS

miracle – sofa [it’s the one that puen sings at the bar in episode 2 and that talay sings back to him at the beach in our skyy episode 2]

love – paradox [talay sings an acoustic version of it to puen in episode 6]

city – three man down [hourglass hug in episode 12] (SORRY BUT THIS WILL ALWAYS BE A PUENTALAY SONG TO ME)

INSTRUMENTALS

actually let me just say something real quick before moving on: this is by no means a comprehensive list as 1) i’ve decided to leave out the upbeat tracks to focus on the more emotional and meaningful ones, 2) i’ve put only the ones that were recognized by two different music identifier apps, and 3) there are genuinely SO MANY instrumental songs in this show and they can change SO QUICKLY (only in the glasshouse scene at the end of episode 4 they used 5 different tracks ;;;;;; [AND YOU CAN BET I PUT THEM ALL IN THIS LIST]) so it’s hard to recognize every single one of them. i definitely missed a lot and i also didn't specify all the scenes you can find a specific song in, but hopefully this still can be a good starting point.

speak without words – we dream of eden, christopher galovan [puen wearing the bucket hat in episode 1]

the echo of you – at the end of time, nothing [‘what if i have a problem one day? who should i go to?’ ‘me.’ in episode 2 // 'don't tell me after spending time together, we turn out to be each other's portkeys.' 'if it's you, i'm okay.' in episode 3]

beautiful days, faraway – itay kashti [drunken kiss in episode 2]

i love clouds - rymdklang soundtracks ['to be my wife, you must endure.' in episode 2]

once every 20 years – at the end of times, nothing [talay and puen meeting at the park in episode 2 // nivea bathtub scene (my beloved) in episode 3 // greyllery kiss in episode 8 // beach kiss in our skyy episode 2]

shooting star – rachel meyer [puen repeating a line from the movie to talay in episode 3 // talay under the rain in episode 4 // ‘do we get along well?’ in episode 7]

elusive dream – at the end of time, nothing [shy puen in episode 4 // snow falling in episode 5]

distant echo - jakob ahlbom [puen and talay drawing on each other's back in episode 4 // talay saying what he missed about puen in episode 6 // 'where there's you, there's me.' in episode 8 // puen giving talay the friend credits folder and shirt in episode 12]

wind land – TURPAK [‘so? will they fall in love?’ ‘i guess they will.’ in episode 4 // puen directing talay in episode 8]

holding on to hope – christopher galovan [‘are you hitting on anyone right at the moment?’ in episode 4 // puen and talay recreating a scene from their movie in episode 9]

flight of the inner bird – yehezkel raz, sivan talmor [‘how about we fall in love with each other?’ in episode 4]

pulchra – at the end of times, nothing [‘been waiting for you’ in episode 4]

and they call me daddy - christian andersen [puen apologizing to talay at the glasshouse in episode 4 // talay learning puen's past from pang in episode 9 // talay remembering puen singing to him in episode 11] (DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I HATE THAT PUEN SAYS 'sleep on daddy's lap here' WHILE THIS SONGS PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND AND BY HATE I MEAN I WANT TO KISS PìX ON THE MOUTH)

love - ben winwood ['there's one more thing about the characters that i don't understand.' in episode 4] (GOES INSANE)

the ground after a summer rain - at the end of times, nothing [glasshouse kiss in episode 4] (GETS DRAGGED INTO A PADDED ROOM)

materialising – of water [puen asking talay to move in with him in episode 5 // puen hugging talay to sleep in episode 6]

glimmer light – amaranth cove [‘i freaking missed you’ in episode 6]

distant shores – amaranth cove [puen massaging talay's ear to sleep in episode 6 // talay reaching the secret island in episode 11]

you are the reason – francis wells [almost kiss in episode 7]

everything comes to an end – of water [talay leaving friend credits in episode 7 // 'where is the person who promised to go back with me?' in episode 9]

heavy clouds drawn back – be still the earth [talay meeting puen on the way to the secret island in episode 9]

the sky is no limit – at the end of times, nothing [bucket hat reveal in episode 9 // talay reading puen's 'wish' in episode 11 // 'without work, i can survive. without him, i can't.' in episode 12] (NEEDS TO BE HEAVILY SEDATED)

telekinesis – tellsonic [bathtub kiss in episode 10]

any given place – of water [talay at the glasshouse in episode 11]

[ao3feed-newsies]

You're Really Lovely (Underneath it All)

by, Elmers_glue by Elmers_glue Race considered himself a professional hater. It was one of his favorite hobbies besides hockey and dance, and much like those two activities, it was something he excelled in. Race considered himself a jack-of-all trades. But, his ability to be a petty, judgemental, rude bitch, was unmatched. It was probably the classical ballet training, if he was being honest. Given that he had dealt with so many genuinely terrible people in dance, he’d just gotten used to being able to trust his instincts on someone. When the vibes weren’t right, he could tell, and would do his absolute best to prove he was right. And he was never wrong. And his intuition, internal vibe-checker, or whatever it was that warned him away from people, never failed him. Except now. or: Albert is a figure skater, and Race is a hockey player with a grudge and a petty streak longer than the nile river. title from a no doubt song! (formerly it's a crooked game) Words: 4196, Chapters: 3/?, Language: English Fandoms: Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken, Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies (1992) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: F/F, M/M Characters: Racetrack Higgins, Albert DaSilva (Newsies), Jack Kelly (Newsies), David Jacobs, Sarah Jacobs (Newsies), Katherine Plumber Pulitzer, Kid Blink, Mush Meyers, Finch (Newsies), Elmer (Newsies), Spot Conlon, Crutchie (Newsies), all the newsies are here, Romeo (Newsies) Relationships: Albert DaSilva/Racetrack Higgins, David Jacobs/Jack Kelly, Sarah Jacobs/Katherine Plumber Pulitzer, Racetrack Higgins & Jack Kelly, Kid Blink/Mush Meyers, Elmer/Finch (Newsies) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Hockey, Hockey, graphic descriptions of sports by someone who hasn't played them in a hot minute, figure skating, Slow Burn, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, jack and race are roommates, its a blast idk, reposted and fixed my time continuity errors, no beta we die like my knowledge of figure skating!, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, we're not there yet but we will be, probably will have spicy scenes but idk, References to Letterkenny (TV), its a hockey au what do you want from me, Dancer Racetrack Higgins, Trans Racetrack Higgins, ballet written by former dancer, Canon Disabled Character, crutchie will be treated WELL i swear to god, disabled character written by disabled author, anyway hi newsies fandom you missed me?, rating subject to change if i decide to get silly with it read : https://ift.tt/CTA5GV8 - March 22, 2024 at 03:35PM

[escape-from-arcadia]

Oooooohhh! 21 for the TOA AU thingy!

Tales of Arcadia Lunar Chronicles!AU

Book 21: Cinder by Marissa Meyer (#1 in The Lunar Chronicles)

Ohohohoho.

Ohohohohohohohoho.

Ohohohohohohohohohohohohoho!

You have no idea how excited I am for this one. I mean, technically, book 21 is Gathering Blue, but I just made a post about The Giver, so...shh. Let's just keep that secret between you and me...and all the other people reading this post...

We're rolling with the girl power here folks.

If you've never read the Lunar Chronicles, they're basically these books set in a futuristic sci-fi world and the main characters of the books are mirrored after fairytales. So Linh Cinder is a cyborg Cinderella (and she's also a cool mechanic!), Scarlet Benoit (hehe, Benoit!) is a badass Red Riding Hood, Cress is a hacker Rapunzel living in a satellite, and Winter is a rebellion leader princess Snow White. There's also Levana the "Evil Queen" with such an interesting and sad backstory like holy shit-

There's a society on the moon (and the people there have powers) and life on Earth is whack because of this deadly and mysterious disease that is spreading everywhere. Only the moon seems to have the resources for helping fight against it.

Gods I remember being obsessed with this series in middle school.

So let's get started.

I either put Mary into the place of Cinder or I put Zoe in. Zoe fits in really well with the personality/skills, but Cinder is canonically Asian and white-washing is big enough of a problem in this fandom. Plus, I want more badass Mary content here in the fandom. You saw that girl in 3Below; not only is she a social media powerhouse, she also knows how to swing a bat. So Mary takes the place of Cinder. (Plus, I think Zoe could do well as another main character in the Lunar Chronicles...)

I don't want to dive too deeply into spoiler territory, so I'll just say, Mary doesn't have her left hand and leg, and is a cyborg.

She loves technology and connecting with others (even getting to dress up pretty), but in order to make her own money, she runs a mechanic shop. This is also to "repay her debt" to her stepmother, who blames Mary for the death of her husband.

Mary constantly tries to cover herself up in decently clothing or robot grease to bring the least amount of attention to herself.

I really don't want to dive too deeply into spoiler territory, but let's just say Mary is not what she seems (even she doesn't know it).

She falls in love with the Prince of the Eastern Commonwealth, currently unnamed because what is life.

It is really hard to make this AU.

For the other female leads in the series:

Claire as Scarlet Benoit, searching for her missing grandmother and encountering the street fighter, the Wolf(?). I'd call Jim the Hunter, but that sort of ruins the fairytale...Maybe I'll call him the Troll? Oh, but that has poor connotations...

Zoe as Cress, living a lonely life in a satellite as an expert hacker.

Darci as Winter. Honestly, I see her as being a strong leader. (And her romance with Toby? A secret romance between the guard and the princes :')).

Morgana as Queen Levana. Holy shit, I loved her story Fairest.

I know that if we really wanted to play more into the TOA lore, Zoe may just be a better fit for Cinder and Claire even for Winter, but as above, I ain't about to whitewash or racebend characters. Besides, I think Mary and Darci need more time in the limelight.

If you send me an ask with a number between 1-36, I'll respond with a TOA AU based on the corresponding book on my shelf.

[dustedmagazine]

Dust Volume Nine, Number 10

Older, but not a bit wiser, the Hives return

Fall comes with its smell of maple in the leaves, its intimations of mortality and, this year, its share of unsettling events—war in the middle east, AI in everything and the murder of our beloved Bandcamp by capitalist privateers.  (We are not equating these things by any means.)  Like always, we turn to music, the annihilating blare of metal, the agile interplay of improvisation, the well-shaped contours of pop, depending on our individual tastes.  We hope you’ll find something to ease your own personal burden in all this as well.  Contributors include Bryon Hayes, Bill Meyer, Andrew Forell, Tim Clarke, Jonathan Shaw, Ian Mathers, Alex Johnson, Jennifer Kelly and Ray Garraty. 

Due to technical issues we're posting this in two parts, so don't miss the second one.

Ad Hoc — Corpse (Shame File Music / Albert’s Basement)

Ad Hoc was a Melbourne-based improvising unit, an experimental outfit that should have higher prominence. It only took 40-plus years, but Shame File Music and Albert’s Basement are finally spearheading a reissue initiative. Last year saw the arrival of the trio’s sole release, the hypnotic Distance cassette. It disappeared the moment it became available. Corpse documents an unconventional live performance from the group. They prepared their instruments (guitars, an EMS Synthi AKS synth and tape loops) for performance prior to the arrival of the audience and then shut off their amps. When all were seated, the trio turned on the amplifiers and unfurled an aleatoric blast of sound. The resulting music is far removed from the ambient tone clusters of Distance. The first piece shimmers in a way that calls to mind Matthew Bower’s Sunroof project, while the latter piece bathes in guitar noise so thick that it may have influenced The Dead C’s The Operation of the Sonne EP. Ad Hoc have today’s noisemakers beat: Corpse presents itself with a freshness that belies its 1980 provenance.

Bryon Hayes

Axolotl — Abrasive (Souffle Continu)

The French trio Axolotl existed for a few years in the early 1980s, and it reflects the aesthetic concerns of its time. Guitarist Marc Dufourd’s playing betrays some acquaintance with the work of Derek Bailey and Henry Kaiser, and the fibrous tones and agile exchanges between reeds players Jacques Oger and Etienne Brunet recall Evan Parker. All three double on electronics, hand percussion and utterances. These accessories, in combination with the concentration of the album’s 12 tracks, give the music a truculent attitude and just-the-facts brevity that brings to mind punk and post-punk. This may be free improvisation, but it is improvised from a point of view, and it’s that informed attitude that makes the album worth visiting nearly 40 years after its original release.

Bill Meyer

Will Butler + Sister Squares — Self-Titled (Merge)

Will Butler joins with Sister Squares — multi-instrumentalists Jenny (Butler’s wife) and Julie Shore, Sara Dobbs and drummer/producer Miles Francis — for their debut album. Bouncy, heartland rock garlanded with that 1980s Fairlight and Linn drum sound mixes with touches of art rock as Butler emotes wholehearted. The influence of the 20 years Butler spent with Arcade Fire is inescapable, but it feels like the quintet have also been listening to Billy MacKenzie (“Long Grass”) and Russell Mael (“Arrow of Time”) as well as Springsteen, Mellencamp and company. “Hee Loop” sounds like a mash of Paul Simon and Peter Gabriel. The themes and emotions can be big in that Arcade Fire way that’s equal parts exhilarating and exhausting, but the album works best when the band dial down the melodramatic flourishes as on “Car Crash” and “The Window,” where Butler is right in your ear, tired, disillusioned, real. This is a record I wanted to like both more and less. For every heartfelt moment and interesting musical choice, there’s a cringe-inducing gestural overreach that makes you wince. A bit like his former band but with enough promise to persevere with.

Andrew Forell

Claire Deak — Sotto Voce (Lost Tribe Sound)

Melbourne-based composer Claire Deak’s last release on Lost Tribe Sound was 2020’s The Old Capital, a fantastic collaboration with Tony Dupé. In my Dusted review I said, “There’s so much wonderful stuff going on across these seven songs that it’s a delight to revisit.” As its title suggests, Deak’s solo debut, Sotto Voce, very much sits at the opposite end of the musical spectrum. This is subtle, minimal music that softly arises out of silence and speaks an elusive language. The background to the album’s creation is Deak’s exploration of the work of two women composers from the early baroque era, Francesca Caccini (1587–c.1645) and Barbara Strozzi (1619–1677). The dominant musical elements are strings, harp and voice, with other instruments coloring the edges of these understated, starkly beautiful compositions. Across the album’s 42 minutes the music feels, at times, to be battling the entropy of erasure, struggling to be heard amid the cacophony of these overstimulated times. For that reason alone, it’s necessary to invest your attention and listen closely. The experience is eerie and transportive.

Tim Clarke

Mike Donovan — Meets the Mighty Flashlight (Drag City)

On a musical Venn diagram showing the intersecting circles of garage rock, lo-fi, and psych, Mike Donovan has set up his sandbox. With Sic Alps he veered more noisy and lo-fi; with Peacers he favored a straight-ahead garage-rock sound. On this new record with Mike Fellows, AKA The Mighty Flashlight, Donovan steers in the direction of shambolic psychedelic-pop in the vein of the Olivia Tremor Control. (To anyone who knows and loves OTC, this is obviously a very good thing.) The splashy drums and percussion tracks feel like a gestural afterthought rather than a rhythmic backbone the songs are built around, and Donovan and Fellows steer these songs into some choppy, unexpected waters. Opener “Planet Metley” is the clearest and most successful distillation of their aesthetic, offering up a staggering range of ideas in under four minutes, stopping and starting erratically, the bass roving all over the fretboard. At the other end of the spectrum, “Laurel Lotus Dub” is the kind of experiment that sounds like it was more fun to create that it is to listen back to. Between these two extremes there’s the junkshop boogie of “A Capital Pitch,” which features the hilarious line, “Hanging out on the ramparts with some dickheads in black,” the concise drum-machine and organ instrumental “Amalgam Wagon,” and the plaintive, country-flavored “Whistledown.” Wherever Donovan roams it’s usually worth following, and Meets the Mighty Flashlight is a winning collaboration that fizzes with fun.

Tim Clarke

Everything Falls Apart ��� Everything Falls Apart (Totalism)

“Somn” means sleep, or more poetically death. It’s the title of six of the seven tracks from Everything Falls Apart, the self-titled album from the duo of Belgian bassist Otto Lindholm (born Cyrille de Haes) and English producer Ross Tones. Those titles (numbered six to 11) and the coda “Wonderfully Desolate” tell you only part of the story of the music the pair produce. Their conversation focuses on the nuance of the Lindholm’s double bass which Tones swathes in electronic effects, stretching notes and motifs into near drones in timbres that rise from the murk like lugubrious sentinels. This is seriously heavy music but the dynamism of the duo’s understanding and interplay distinguishes Everything Falls Apart. Whilst many of the pieces focus on stasis and decay, “Somn 9” is a desert storm with clicking percussion, almost didgeridoo like growls from the bass and screeching electronic noise. On “Somn 11”, deep bowed notes support Lindholm’s move through the registers as if shaking from fitful dreams into the morning light. “Wonderfully Desolate” is comparatively unadorned, a string quartet playing against the end times, shimmers of light through the cracks.

Andrew Forell

False Fed — Let Them Eat Fake (Neurot Recordings)

Is it accurate to call a band including members of legendary underground acts Amebix (Stig Miller), Nausea (Roy Mayorga) and Broken Bones (Jeff Janiak) a “supergroup”? It might help to note that Janiak has sung for Discharge since 2014, and Mayorga has done a couple stints as drummer for Ministry. All names to conjure with (though a few of us first encountered Mayorga as a teenager back in the 1980s Lehigh Valley hardcore scene, when he drummed for Youthquake; West Catty Playground Building forever, man). In any case, the players have pooled their talents to create this death-rocking, sorta goth, sorta post-punk record, and it’s a lot of grim, grimy fun. Most of the music is mid-tempo, grand and romantic in its gestures, but shot through with a crusty growl in the guitars and production tone. The best songs speed things up a bit; both “The Tyrant Dies” and “The Big Sleep” have compelling momentum, complementing the stakes of songs’ ideas. It's Armagideon Time, people. Here’s your soundtrack, from dudes that know.

Jonathan Shaw

Hauschka— Philanthropy (City Slang)

German composer Volker Bertelmann’s 15th album of prepared piano pieces under the name Hauschka is noticeably warmer than some of his previous works. Joined by Samuli Kosminen on percussion and electronics and cellist Laura Wiek, Hauschka continues his exploration of the rhythmic and timbral possibilities of his instrument. At times almost jaunty, there are echoes of Bertelmann’s previous experiments with melancholic atmospherics but the general tone here is welcoming and optimistic. Kosminen adds subtle effects which frame rather than obscure the piano. There’s a touch of Satie in Hauschka’s playful iconoclastic approach to the piano and his deceptively simple melodies, especially on “Loved Ones” where Wiek’s plangent cello lines sustain and decay over an allusive harmony that speaks both of innocence and experience. At the other end of the spectrum, the closing piece “Noise” builds abstract ambience from repeated piano notes, smears of cello and a quiet wash of effects as if the players are enveloped in a thick damp fog. A lovely album for both fans and newcomers.

Andrew Forell

The Hives — The Death of Randy Fitzsimmons (Disques Hives)

There are usually going to be some questions when a band comes back with a new record after over a decade, maybe especially so with an act like Swedish garage/punk flamboyants the Hives; can they match the energy of their youth? Are they still willing and able to give us the old thrills? Or have they (and this is usually asked with a small, tasteful shudder of disgust) matured? It doesn’t take very long into first single/first track “Bogus Operandi” for the concerned listener to have reason for a sigh of relief. Anyone who used to (or still does?) blast “Main Offender” or “Hate to Say I Told You So” or “Walk Idiot Walk” should feel the galvanizing charge of a true, Frankensteinian resurrection once the riff hits. And across these not-quite-32 minutes (the brevity is also a promising sign) Howlin’ Pelle Almqvist and the boys kick up exactly the kind of racket you’d want from them, with tracks like “Trapdoor Solution” and “The Bomb” savoring the kind of gleefully dumb fun they’ve always provided (with a nice sideline in some of Almqvist’s deliberately, over-the-top awful narrators on “Two Kinds of Trouble” and “What Did I Ever Do to You?”). They even continue to throw out small, satisfying variations on the classic Hives sound like the brassy swagger of “Stick Up” and the surprisingly heartfelt thrash of “Smoke & Mirrors”. They may have killed off their “sixth member,” but the Hives are otherwise in rude health.

Ian Mathers

Islet — Soft Fascination (Fire)

The Welsh psych-electronic oddballs in Islet are on their fourth full-length now but show no signs of settling down. Soft Fascination is a bonkers mash up of dance pop, art song, hip hop, noise and folk. “Euphoria” floats a feather-light daze, a la Avey Tare, then punctures it the rat-at-tat of snare, the rifle shot rap repartee of Emma Daman Thomas. Gossamer textures of synth weave in and around the main action, snapping tight at intervals, like sails catching a hard wind. The whole thing is butterfly ephemeral with strong wires holding it up, a combination of daydream and architecture. “River Body,” if anything, tips even crazier, with its infectious sing-song, skip-rope vocals, its tootling toy keyboards, its blasts of noise and friction. And what can you make of “Sherry” which bucks and heaves and shouts out “Ay, ay, ay, ay,” like a lost Matias Aguayar cut? “Ay, ay, ay, ay,” indeed.

Jennifer Kelly

Jute Gyte — Unus Mundus Patet (Self-released)

Unus Mundus Patet is not the most dissonant or challenging record Adam Kalmbach has released during his 20-plus-year run under the Jute Gyte moniker. But neither is this black metal for the kvlt trve believers or for the hipster-adjacent sets, be they transcendental or ecstatic or blackgazy. The songs twist and turn in on themselves, always clear in their expressions of complex musical ideas, and also — somehow, someway — listenable and enjoyable. Avant-garde? Sure thing, and likely a much more authentic iteration of that phrase’s meaning than the music many other metal bands churn out under cover of high-minded beard stroking. See the by-turns undulating and fragmenting “Killing a Sword” or the trudging, vertiginous and then utterly thrilling “Philoctetes.” Jute Gyte doesn’t make music for the background, but if you can give these songs your full attention, you’ll be rewarded. Turn it up and open the portal into somewhere much weirder and more marvelous.

Jonathan Shaw

Danny Kamins / Chris Alford / Charles Pagano — The Secret Stop (Musical Eschatology)

Free improvisation may be a little sparser on the ground in the southern USA than it is in Chicago or New York, but The Secret Stop affirms the vigor of those who participate. Guitarist Chris Alford and drummer Charles Pagano play in New Orleans, and Danny Kamins is a saxophonist from Texas; this encounter took place in the Crescent City. As even players in places like the aforementioned northern cities or London will affirm, travel comes with this territory. Their interactions display a capacity to sustain balance when the energy is high and to back off when doing so will transform the music’s tension. Kamins intersperses long, coarse tones with emphatic pops, and Alford evidences a fluent stutter that suggests he’s spent a lot of time studying James “Blood” Ulmer’s sound grammar. Pagano’s cymbal sizzle and mutating not-quite-patterns provide both forward momentum and a framework within which the action occurs.

Bill Meyer

MIKE \ Wiki \ The Alchemist — Faith Is a Rock (ALC)

The long awaited collaboration between The Alchemist and MIKE took a sudden turn when they took on board another New York rapper Wiki who steals the show here. Both Wiki and MIKE were outcasts recording music in the vein of Earl Sweatshirt, even though MIKE was always a better version of Earl with only possibly a tenth of his fame. Knowing no rest, The Alchemist (that is his fourth collab this year) takes both MCs way out of their comfort zone, refusing to pander to the needs. MIKE and Wiki have to deal with The Alchemist’s fast and thick layered production, and it works for all of them. “Mayors A Cop” is a standout here, and Faith Is a Rock is one strong contender for the tape of the year.

Ray Garraty

Camila Nebbia — Una Ofrenda A La Ausencía (Relative Pitch)

The title translates as An Offering To Absence, which of course raises the question, what’s missing? Camila Nebbia is a multidisciplinary artist who grew up in Buenos Aires, Argentina, but has seems to have spent a fair chunk of time moving around Europe in recent years, and is currently based in Berlin. She has a sizable discography, but this correspondent has not heard most of it, so let’s just focus on the album at hand. Its 16 tracks present three facets of her work — acoustic tenor saxophone, electronically adjusted saxophone and poetry — with the first method best represented. The unaccompanied saxophone performances reveal her mastery of both weight-bearing muscularity and adroit tap-dancing on the far side of the fences that confine conventional tonality. But when she layers long tones and feedback, Nebbia becomes a one-woman orchestra transmitting heavy Penderecki vibes. The one poem included, “Dejo que me lieve” (“I let it lie”), is recited in Spanish, and no translation is offered; perhaps home is what’s not there, so she needs to manifest it creatively?

Bill Meyer

[Continued in Part 2, because Tumblr decided we only get 10 audio links.]

[jenroses]

so I nominally built the new puter for Starfield, which came along with the video card as a "freebie" and honestly it really was because the price of the car was very competitive with cards that didn't have it that had similar performance and since building the computer i've spent approximately 3 hours in starfield and the rest of the time in Horizon zero dawn, Fallout, SkyrimSE, No Man's Sky, a couple hours in Baldur's Gate 3, Spore (2008) and Sid Meyer's Alpha Centuari (from 1999). And the thing I've done the most? Play digital solitaire while watching youtube videos. The big screen is SO NICE for doing those things side by side. I'm sure I'll get into Starfield at some point, but probably after the modders have their way with the user interface, because if you thought vanilla skyrim's interface was overwrought and underuseful, you ain't seen nothing yet. Also I miss being able to just, you know, pick where I wanted to land on a planet and land there, like No Man's Sky. I'm told the thing has an actual plot but like, every other game I listed has something about it that is compelling and drives you forward. I feel like Starfield started out weak and then got quickly into the weeds and setting it down for a week and coming back to it I was so lost I might as well have started over completely, which I don't have the energy for, despite starting new saves on literally everything except no man's sky.

Anyway.

My dad has spent the last 30+ years buying progressively better computers and playing solitaire on them. it's tradition.

[freeworldallahexecutivembaclass]

And another one

Proposal for New MTA automobiles , vans , buses and electric trains and Mass Transit services

All trains from the A train to the F train , J Train , Z Train be changed into a newer shell more cleaner , faster and more modern trains with Television on the train with channels from NY 1 news channel ABC News Channel Fox News Channel WPIX News Channel

Joyce Meyer TV show on the train 🚆🚂

Joel Osteen on the train we already have stores in his name in New York City now we could get his show and sermons live on the train or catch the reruns on the next train if you miss your train don't miss the chance for a better life in your city and country

I just finished Joel Osteen Peaceful on purpose and rule your day two very thin books probably 100 pages book that you could breeze through going to read it again it is a easy book and I'm asking all New Yorkers to read it share it and to use it in our daily interactions with each other it will help develop a new mindset and you can enjoy your day on your way home or to work with a victorious mindset and behavior live a life of victory and don't forget to start a book club and add on Joel Osteen and Joyce Meyer in your book list in your book bag if you are a student or purse and pockets on your way to exercise .

ESPN channels with all sport shows like sports center in the train that is great for all New Yorkers erasing all tension and anxiety depression and frustration of all commuters and not to mention the upgrade for New York City and any country and cities transit system it help reduce crime and bring more businesses to those cities not to mention the millions made for the advertising industry . I see that they have a new store in NYC next to the library Disney Haunted Mansion that is going to be great for the family for the kids they are going to love it they will scream and enjoy it love it and laugh and have fun Justin Bieber song Ghost 👻 brought this all about so I want to be there . Imagine trains with views of the graffiti in the tunnels of the train station like make that a tourist attraction on the new trains for MTA you could look at the tunnels graffiti like it's a museum 🖼️🎨 art exhibit with special effects sites by MTA workers showcasing the best graffiti the world has ever seen enhancing the commute experience for all New Yorkers .

Trains running on Grand Concourse a New station the outside rails carrying electric 💡 ⚡ trains 🚂 Travel Routes include New Jersey , Connecticut , Example of New trains and their names

The Golden Eagle 🦅 The Aurora The Fury The Storm ⛈️ The Rock Climber The Great Bear The Laser The Vision The Messenger The Sunflower The Sparkle The Dynasty The Vortex The Phoenix The Knight The Hunter The Polar The Diplomat The Paradise Coast The Liberty The Jade Garden 🪴 The Frost fire The Ambassador The Hawk The Rage The Ghost 👻🎃 The Angel The Warrior

Cabin rooms doors to private cabin rooms with 4 passenger seats with Tvs in the cabin , cushion chairs with cushioned headrest and recliner chairs and modern pop , R and B , and Gospel Music , Rock and Roll stations playing over a system in the background in the cabin .

Fully carpeted train with a diner on board for fried foods and drinks and other refreshments , and restaurants on board . Salons and Barbershops on board as well as Newspaper news stands with magazines , candy and sodas lounge area for tv watching sports , the news and nature channels with water kingdoms and traveling to foreign countries channels .

Book of the month Joel Osteen empty out the negative it means let go of the negative influences and negative people in your life that hold you back with me is to get these tyrants and puppet masters off of me and truly live the message that Joel Osteen is preaching I just read some of it from chapter 2 to 4 and wonder can I be let go of please if you other than a person that follow his message in that please let me go so I could live my life and yeah it could save your life Don't feed on poisons chapter 3 to 4 is good for you unclog your heart drink water and do light exercise just walking is a start but also clean out out your inside as well from the filthy anxiety look at the definition of anxiety , the hurting people feelings and blocking my path in my life if their is book that will save a life it would be this one book in fact get his whole collection I got all his books , Joyce Meyer and Victoria Osteen books I kinda teach now to get the voodoo and mind control off of me I don't want to think like my enemy about myself , no thanks read the book and change your life .

According to Social Psychology people and your environment make you who you are and I'm against that especially if your from an environment where people are hateful towards you verbal abusive and telling you that is the best that life has to offer you no their is a better life for you I want a new kind of community and environment it is people like me that change where we live and put the people and our community on the right path call it a new social psychology thinking like my pastor Joyce Meyer or Joel Osteen and Victoria Osteen about me and other people I only have good things for you in my heart and your future . I truly believe you have to reeducate the people and teach them to build the kingdom of God on this earth 🌍 the Muslims do try but they needed help and plus it is effecting me and my mental health and physical health and I have to speak out against it so read the book empty out the negative by Joel Osteen their books and live it out you got it from me , thank you and remember nature can be changed by nurture and nourishing yourself with love and a good education you can change your life and be successful you heard it from me you can be anything you want to be and beat any disease and incurable illness of the mind and the body especially now with the cure for HIV Aids and be freed from the curse of the death of the spirit through spiritually depressed neighborhoods read the book and love your friends family and even the stranger on the street with your words behavior and attitudes , thank you let's practice social psychology together in a better way take this words home and practice them instead of creating social schizophrenics mumbling and talking to themselves in self hatred and living less than their best potential lets treat each other better and want the best for each other each human and race period that is how it is suppose to be on this planet .

[girlwifteef]

“I’m sick of it” James Hetfield x Fem!Reader!

Part 3!

TW: Mentions of toxic S/O and abuse. Pls be wary of these fields. If you’re not comfortable with reading this content pls don’t hesitate to scroll past. Thank you! ❤️😆 (GIF below is indeed mine. I didn’t know you could make them without being verified.)

Description: Lots of dialog and fluffiness.

Circa 1984 James

I had just gotten in my car and was on my way home. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. About James. Oh my god was he gorgeous, and he has my number! What if he calls tonight? What if he doesn’t? What if he doesn’t call at all? Shit. I don’t think I took my antidepressants this morning. I’ve had to take them since I got away from my ex. Chris Meyer. Son of a bitch left a mark on my brain for a life time. God, it’s been so quiet for the past year. Maybe, if it works out with James, I’ll finally be safe from his torment. Hm, I wonder what would happen if James ever meets Chris. I sure as hell don’t want to see that dill weed ever again. I hope that asshole is rotting we’re ever he is. With all of these scenarios running through my head, I didn’t even realize I had pulled onto my apartment’s street. Huh. I should do that more often, it’s like time travel.

I had dragged my feet up the flight of stairs onto my floor still thinking about every little detail that happened tonight. I saw an amazing band, met them, met the hot singer, gave him my number, and blew a kiss to him. I had reached my door searching for my keys in my purse. I fiddled with them for a minute before finding the right one. The door unlocked and I threw my stuff down, kicked my boots off and headed to my bathroom for a shower. Just the thought of warm water hitting my body was already so relaxing. Before I could even open the door to my room, my phone rang. I gasped, what if it’s James? Well I’m not gonna sit here and wait for someone else to answer it.

“Hello, Y/L/N resistance.” I answered joyfully, just like I always did but this time with an excited smile on my face.

“Hey Y/N/N it’s Richie! I was just calling to make sure that you got home safe.” Of course, I did always have a problem getting my hopes up, according to Chris.

“Oh. Thanks Rich, I made it home safe.” I managed to get out those few words but unfortunately they sounded a little defeated.

“No problem! I’ll talk to you later and have a good day at work!”

“Sure thing, Rich. Bye” I hung up. A bit down, I needed that shower more than ever. Before I took another step the phone started to ring once again. Mr. Richie is a very forgetful person, I bet he wants to know when I’ll be back.

“Yes? What is it you forgot now, Rich.” I said a bit sarcastically. He hated it when I make fun of him forgetting something.

“…um actually it’s James? Uh, James Hetfield. Did I punch in the right number?” He said questioning his dialing skills. He did call! And I answered so rudely! Damn it! Say something!

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry! Richie called me just now and I thought it was him again. I didn’t expect you too call so soon.” I said very apologetically. Play it cool girl, play it cool.

“Ah, nope just me calling to bother you.”

“Oh come on, you’re not bothering me. You just missed me didn’t you.” I said jokingly, we did just meet after all.

“You’re right.” He said. “I can’t stop thinking about you Y/N, you’re so cool and confident.”

Is he talking about me? Here I thought every emotion I felt tonight was on my sleeve but I guess not. Good job me.

“Me? Cool and confident? I can think of 20 people that are way cooler than me.” I now have my fingers linked in the phone cord, “That includes you.” He audibly paused for a split second.

“You think I’m cool?” He asked, a little surprised.

“Of course I do! “You’re one of the coolest people I’ve ever met!” I said trying to counter attack his  self-esteem.

“I’m not the coolest?”

“Sorry but that spot is reserved for Mr. Richie.” I said holding back a laugh. My joke made James laugh though, such a cute laugh. “You’re so handsome when you laugh.”

“Aw, you’re just saying that.” He said doubting me once again.

“Nope. Sorry to say, but you have a terminal illness that makes you so handsome and effects the ones around you.” He laughed again a little harder this time. Damn those butterflies.

“Your smile almost knocks me out every time.” He said very genuinely. Now, it was my turn to second guess his judgement.

“Stop. I know you know how to sweet talk people! You’re doing it right now with a shit eating grin on your face!” I said chuckling a bit. James laughed too.

“Haaha, no way! I’m speaking from the heart, Y/N!” He said trying to keep a serious tone.

“How would I know? I can’t see that you’re being serious.” I said tempting him.

“Fine. Meet me at Richie’s bar tomorrow at 4:00pm so we can walk to the record store. I’ll tell you then how serious I am!” He said, well this time I believed him.

“Ok! Ok, if you insist Hetfield, 4:00 on the dot. You better not back out!”

“Not a chance! Well, I guess I should let you go now, you have work in the morning right?” Shit! What’s the time? 12:00am! No!

“Oh my god, no! It’s 12:00am! I have to punch in at 6:00am. Fuck!” I said a little to angrily. I didn’t mean it towards James but it seemed like he took is a little personally.

“Oh no! I’m so sorry Y/N, this is my fault. I should have waited until tomorrow.” He said very regretfully.

“No, no, this is not your fault! I’m really glad and kind of relieved that you called! I thought you saw me as just some other girl who threw themself at you in another town. I should be apologizing.”

“You’re glad?” He asked surprised.

“Yes. I am.” I said very firmly.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes!”

“Well, I’m really glad you answered. I’ll let you get some sleep, Y/N. Goodnight.” He said with what seemed like one of his famous smiles.

“Heh, thanks. Goodnight, James” I heard him hang up. I loudly sighed and collapsed on my couch. There is no way in hell I’m sleeping tonight. Looks like I’ll only be getting 4 or less hours of sleep. Worth it.

That morning at 5:00am, my alarm disturbed my sleep to tell me it’s time to get ready for work. Since I didn’t have time to take a shower last night, I took one as soon as I got out of bed waking myself up for the day. Brushed my teeth, flossed, and swished around mouth wash. It felt like a green color kind of day. So, I went with some light green scrubs and sneakers. Put on a little make up, made some coffee, grabbed my purse and headed to my car all the while still thinking about my date later at 4:00pm. This 8 hour shift is definitely going to be long but thank god it’s only 8 hours.

END OF PART 3!

A/N: Thank you again for the likes and for reading my first series. Remember, I’m always open to  criticism so let me know! I will be working on part 4 as soon as I finish some chores around my house that I’ve been ignoring 😬😬. That’s from me! Have an awesome day! ❤️😄

[rhube]

You gotta be real careful if you're gonna BOTH trash the source material AND say you're gonna write a fic with better plot and dialogue.

'Cause, we all critique the things we love, but the people who wrote the source material got paid for that. They have met a bar many fanfic writers have not. Some of us also get paid to write IRL - and some who don't get paid write AMAZING things anyway - but as a rule, I approach fanfic reading with a pinch of salt, 'cause most of it... it's not professional standard and that's OK, right?

But if you really lay in thick about how you hate the source material AND think the writing is bad, so you just HAVE to write fanfic to do a better job...

I mean...

You better be writing some stellar fuckin' fanfic, you feel me?

And as a rule, I tend to find that anyone who's got good at writing has developed some respect for others who are professional writers - not because we like everything every other professional writer produces, but because we know what it takes to get there.

And quite apart from all that... you know most people reading fanfic are in the fandom because we *love* the source material... right? We might have some significant issues with it. We might disapprove of things said or done by the creators. We might have written lengthy critiques. But all of that comes from a place of passion about *something* in the source we really liked.

So, I'm just saying, if your opening notes say you hate the thing we all love, and that the writing is terrible, AND that you're gonna do better... even if you're Willy Shakespeare, you have set yourself up for a fall. I am probably not gonna give as much salt to you as I would most fic writers if your writing is missing something.

I wish I could remember who I first heard this from, because it's so helpful, but when you see something you think is bad writing become successful, try not to get bent out of shape about the injustice of it. Instead, ask yourself *why* it was successful. Because it's not *just* nepotism/privilege etc (although that often plays a part). If it's successful, it means a lot of people *did* like it enough to buy it. There was *something* there that was worth having. And it may be something your own work lacks.

I first heard this said about Twilight, and that tracks for me. Because I tried to read the first book and I didn't get past the first ten pages. I don't think it's well-written. But the writing meets a publishable bar a lot of fanfic doesn't, and I'm not mad it's successful. Stephenie Meyer tapped into a BUNCH of tropes a lot of people really fucking like - and some of those *I* like. That's why I tried to read it.

I can learn things from Meyer's success, instead of resenting it.

Instead of starting by saying the source material sucks and you're gonna do better (insulting the creators and fans and bigging yourself up), why not just say 'I always wished they had done THIS; so I wrote it!'

There's nothing wrong with writing fix it fics or AUs or 'what if canon, but scientifically accurate' or whatever it was you didn't like - these are among the many great ways fanfic writers try to improve on things they didn't like in the source material. But you can do that without insulting eeeeeverybody, you know?

Whatever other flaws a creator has (probably many, they're human - unless they're chatgpt, in which case why were you supporting theft by reading it? Don't read AI-written fic) they still created a world and characters that captured people's imagination and hung together well enough for people to want to write more in that world. That is a legitimate skill. It's the main thing that makes fanfic writing much, much easier than original fiction writing - I say this as someone who writes both. Quite frankly, this is why I've only published short fiction and non-fiction myself: I have never finished writing an original fiction novel. It's a huge amount of work. It is SO much easier playing in a world someone else made.

There is some great writing in fanfic. Some of it is better than the source material. All of it is based on a foundation someone else laid. A foundation that could only be laid with hard work, experience, and skill.

Respect is cheap, you know? And it makes it easier to learn from those who have gone before.

[These points do not apply to critiquing bigoted content in source material or bigoted behaviour by creators. I'm sure many fanfic writers are much better people than some who have gained great success. You don't have to respect any of that - I don't. I'm specifically talking about notes that say the source writing is bad and they hate the work AND the fanfic writer is gonna do a better job across the board. That's the point at which I start giving the side-eye.]