#were always lying and were appropriating homosexuality (as being attracted to only one gender)”

[radfemmethinker-blog]

I know it might seem the opposite, but I understand.

I deeply 100% understand it, if you're in love with gay culture. I understand if you feel awe and longing when you see M/M couples. I get it if you think gay men are better than straight ones for whatever fucking reason. I know that you might think gay M/M couples are cute. I get it, if you'd like to be a gay man.

I know it. I can get what it feels like if your heart fills with joy to the mere thought of two men being in a relationship. No matter how fucking weird it may look from the outer perspective if you're a biological woman and you feel like this, I get it. I understand if you wished you were born a man because you just deeply feel that gay men are so adorable, no matter how weird it looks, I GET IT.

But for the love of God, gay men are PEOPLE. Just like any other one. You can't become one. I understand you might have a randomic feeling that they are so much better, that their relationships and their culture and their whatever-the-everloving-fuck are just so much better. You know why I get it? Because, even if it doesn't have an actual explanation, it is a feeling. An impression. A randomic brain pattern. And I do believe it may exist. I do believe you might feel this way. It does exist. It's valid if you feel this way. But it does not make you a gay man. And if you disagree, you know what you're not taking into account?

Respect.

If you really love gay men and gay male couples so much, why the fuck would you disrespect them? Why the fuck would a biological female feel entitled to literally appropriate gay male culture? How is this okay, if you put it into perspective?

I'll give you a little insight.

It is not.

You might like gay men as much as you want, wishing you were born one as much as you want, but if you face reality, you'll understand that you were not. Therefore, fetishizing them and appropriating their fucking culture as an outsider is a big lack of respect to them. Expecting same-sex attracted men to be attracted to you is the biggest fucking homophobic act you can do under the false guise of """loving""" them or their culture.

You are not a man. There is no surgery or bippidy boppidy magic out there that will make you one. This is literally a scientific fact, and if you feel offended or attacked by biologic reality, please for the love of God seek help, because it is not normal.

A gay man is exclusively same-sex attracted, if you're born a woman, there is literally no way he's gonna be attracted to you. Genitals dictate sex. Sex is a fact. Sexuality isn't about gender identity: it is about sex. Genitals. The definition of SEXual orientation should not be this hard to grasp. A person is not sexually attracted to social constructs. To the way you dress. They're sexually attracted to your sex. It is not the only standard you have to meet in order for people to be attracted to you (to be a part of a biological sex that is included in their sexual orientation), but it IS an important standard. And there is literally no surgery out there that can give you genitals that even vaguely resemble the ones a biological man would have, let alone mimick their functions.

I understand if you randomically like very much gay culture and M/M relationships. I understand if you fantasize about them, I understand if your artworks revolve around them. It's not a bad thing. But if you actively try to erase homosexuality just so you can feel included in an identity that does not, and will never, include you- if you use other people's bodies or your access to them as a form of self validation- you're literally advocating for homosexuality erasure and rape rethoric against the very people you swear you love so much. And that is not okay. Ever.

Love includes respect. You can't love someone and actively disrespect them. You can't say you love someone and then try to force them to have sex with you against their will. If you try to imagine this in a one-on-one situation, you'll see pretty clearly how that would be an attempt to rape someone. The reasoning is not different. If you love so much this category, respect it. Respect boundaries. Respect the literal definition of the category. People don't magically become gay if they say they are; the definition of gay is being exclusively same-sex attracted. If anyone who isn't exclusively same-sex attracted claims to be gay, they're lying. Being gay is not an identity you can give yourself. It is not a choice. It's a biological fact. You don't "identify" as gay. You are, or are not. No inbetween. Bisexual people are bisexual, not "half-gay". That does not exist.

Please stop claiming you love a category if you literally appropriate and fetishize it. Please. Fucking stop. You're free to have a randomic liking of any category, but that does not make you a part of that category, and never will. If you love gay men as much as you claim you do, I'm begging you, stop trying to strip them of their identities, bully them into not being the literal definition of their category anymore, and erase them from the face of this Earth. That is not love.

That's hate. That's homophobia. Stop being the very thing you swore on your life you would destroy.

There's no secluded category of gay men which are also "TEHMs". All gay men are TEHMs. Gay means same sex attracted ONLY. If anyone claims to be a gay man it doesn't make them one, I can claim to be a crocodile all I want but I'm still a human being. Also, categories are literally made to keep together people with something in common, so don't even fucking try to say I'm "stereotyping" a category. Any category MUST have a caracteristic that keeps its members "similar" in some way, and if you really think that YOU claiming to be a gay man because you like glitters is non-stereotypical, but me saying gay men are literally any type of men with any type of interest as long as they are same-sex attracted only is stereotypical, you either have a chimp brain or you perfectly know you're wrong. Having a good "comeback" does not mean you're right. Factual evidence means you're right, and TRAs literally have NONE.

(I would also expand this to people who claim they like lesbians so much that they "are" one - when they're biological males- but I have the feeling most of them perfectly know these things already and literally don't give two shits, since biological men have ALWAYS hated biological women and have ALWAYS used rape rethoric on them.)

I'm literally just ranting and if you even try to disrespect me interacting with this, I'll block the everloving fuck out of you, because really, if you read all of this and you still think you're right, you're a literal homophobe and there's no hope anyone will ever get anything good out of you.

RESPECT FREAKING GAY PEOPLE. BEING GAY IS NOT A CLUB YOU CAN ENTER FOR THE LOLZZ. IT'S A FUCKING REALITY. PEOPLE ARE BEING KICKED OUT OF THEIR HOMES FOR BEING GAY, AND YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST "CHOOSE" TO BE ONE, WHEN YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY NOT. WTF.

I'm not hateful, only angry. If you see yourself as loving and respecting when you stereotype and disrespect the everloving fuck out of this category, yet see me as hateful because I literally state facts, then there's literally no hope for you to ever understand how the hell this world actually works, so you better hide on Tumblr forever, because I can assure you actual gay people in real life feel the same way I do. Fuck, even STRAIGHT people in real life feel the way I do. All this gender-madness is literally the biproduct of people creating non-existent online safe spaces where they validate each other's delusions, and sorry, but the lgbt-whateverfuckingletter community on this hellsite is not a good representance of the reality of life and ideas outside, in the real world. Move on.

And if you think this is hate-speech... get a grip. No one is threatening you or anyone else with violence. People just fucking wished you'd leave them ALONE in THEIR SPACES.

Wishing you were gay doesn't make you gay.

[fuckyeahasexual]

A complete guide to how the asexual community is NOT lying about the pathologization of asexuality and how many aces(even young ones)have had their asexuality tried to be“fixed” and “converted back to normalcy”

Trigger warning : Conversion therapy,abuse

As if the so called ace “”discourse””( which has till now involved aphobes and exclusionists comparing ace people to nazis,pedophiles,white supremacists,slave owners,homophobes,  ,talking over ace WOC by white people, telling ace people AND kids to kill themselves,victim blamig and gaslighting ace victims of rape, putting extremely graphic sexual content into asexual tags and sending sexual content to ace minors and adults who are are suffering from sexual trauma even after they told them to STOP ) could not get any worse, we now have these pathetic excuses of human beings accusing ace people of lying about their trauma and abuse just so that they can justify their harassing of ace people.

Im TIRED of seeing these “”highly intellectual people”” keeps repeating bullshit arguments so im gonna make this post addled with appropriate resources and links to handle these two topics:

How asexuality is pathologized

Can the abuse and trauma ace people go through when people try to “convert ace people back to normalcy” and “fix” their asexuality really be called “conversion therapy”?

This is gonna be long,but i hope you will stick with me though this because im going to try as much as possible to make this as source-fuilled and educational for yall. So here we go:

1. Has asexuality really been pathologized?

Short answer,Yes.  Many mental health professionals had consideredasexuality an illness throughout history.There are many articles talking about it.Up till 2013, indicators of asexuality like lack of sexual attraction,sexual fantasies towards other people, lack of interest in sex etc were basically classified as Hypoactive sexual desire disorder in the DSM which was revised just to include that all those indicators WOULD be considered as a “symptom” of HSDD unless a person self identified as “asexual” which wasnt much useful since not everyone(especially young people) might know that they are ace and can be pressured by their peers into going through the “treatment” for HSDD .They did the same thing before they removed homosexuality from the DSM.

Heres the long answer :

Throughout history , asexuality has brought out bigots to talk about how “unnatural” it is and how it obviously is a “mental illness/disorder” bc experiencing sexual attraction is always considered an inherent experience to almost all living beings.There are many medical and psychological articles either directly referring to asexuality as a disorder or referring its main indicators like “lack of sexual attraction,sexual feelings towards other people”etc as a mental disorder.

But the most well known instance of pathologization of asexuality is the  HSDD (Hypoactive sexual desire disorder).It has been in both The International Classification of Diseases and  Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders both which are used by mental health professionals and psychologists to diagnose people.

There was a huge pushback against HSDD by asexual activists bc it categorized all indicators of asexuality like lack of sexual attraction,sexual fantasies towards other people and lack of sexual desire etc as a disorder.As a result,  asexuality was officially given an exception in the DSM-V by stating that if a person experiencing all the symptoms of HSDD self ID’d as asexual then they wont be diagnosed with it.This seemed a good enough thing to do and acephobes keep bringing it up to show how “different HSDD is from asexuality” and how “The medical world has “”accommodated”” itself for the comfort of ace people” but this act and the whole concept of a “Hypoactive sexual desire disorder” are considered problematic and have been put through questions not only by ace people, but feminists and activists too . Heres why :

1. The person STILL has to identify as asexual to be not diagnosed.Asexuality still isnt as visible and well known of an orientation so  if a person doesn’t know that they’re asexual, the DSM does no work to sufficiently differentiate between these “sexual disorders” and a sexual identity. so it could very well happen that someone who doesn’t know that they’re asexual is convinced by a therapist that they have a sexual abnormality that needs to be corrected(x)  .Taking into consideration the fact that a lack of sexual attraction is still seen as a sign of “brokenness” etc , the aphobia ace people face from their peers,how sex is seen an inherent part of one’s relationship and the immense number of ace people who experience internalized aphobia, theres a higher chance of ace people being pressurized into lying about not being ace and being made to go through treatment of HSDD .

2. The asexuality exception is not included in the diagnostic criteria, but a different part of the text. The desk reference version, which is the smaller version most psychiatrists will use because the actual DSM is a monster of a book, only contains the diagnostic criteria. So, unless a doctor is very familiar with the update DSM, you could still be diagnosed despite identifying as asexual. (X)

3.The DSM is put out by the APA, an American organization and is not used internationally in ALL countries.The international appx. equivalent to the DSM is the ICD (International Classification of Diseases) where an exception of asexuality is NOT made like they did in DSM-V. So many countries where DSM-V is not followed are free to diagnose ace people with almost no repercussions.

4.There is till NO distinction made between HSDD and asexuality and all indicators of asexuality are still considered “symptoms” of HSDD. the DSM does no work to sufficiently differentiate between these “sexual disorders” and a sexual identity. so it could very well happen that someone who doesn’t know that they’re asexual is convinced by a therapist that they have a sexual abnormality that needs to be corrected(x) Just putting “All these signs are of HSDD unless a person identifies as asexual” is literally the same as saying “Being attracted to the same gender and/or being attracted to more than two genders is a disorder unless a person identifies as gay/bi”.In fact a very very similar thing was done to homosexuality in the DSM before homosexuality was deleted off entirely as a disorder.

5.Im not even gonna get into the fact that alot of people have pointed out how  the big push to keep HSDD in the DSM came from the pharmaceutical companies who need this diagnosis to exist so thatthey can market a drug called Flibanserin and both of these thingshave been called out by both ace as well as non ace feminists bc studies showed it improved very little in terms of sexual satisfaction in its participants and has potentially big risks(x) and  MANY women disinterested in sex(weather ace or not) were pressurized to undergo treatment of HSDD and use flibanserin bc of the misogynist belief that women need to put out more than care about their safety white taking it bc thats not the point of this post.

But just for yalls consideration : Just bc there is a disorder in the DSM doesnt mean that its legit.Female hysteria,homosexuality were considered disorders.As an amazing post here said : “until psychology stops operating in terms of “inappropriate behavior” and starts looking at patients’ experiences of symptoms as stressful and unpleasant, it will be an enforcement of ableism first and an aid to the mentally ill last.”  . Unless someone goes through some trauma which make them LOSE their capability to feel sexual attraction and desire,i’ll consider any “disorder” which automatically assumes lack of sexual attraction and desire “unnatural”, as doubtful .

So  yeah , asexuality still technically remains pathologized and ace people still are at a risk of being diagnosed and being forced/pressurized to undergo treatments which arent usually even that effective and have health risks associated with them.On to the next topic :

2.Can ace people call the trauma and abuse they went through  when people tried to “convert ace people back to normalcy” and “fix” their asexuality  “conversion therapy”?

First off, Read THIS And THIS. Now,

Short answer,Yes. Maybe they might not be under the threat of going through the EXACT conversion therapy which involves basically torture and is legal in like 36/41 states IN AMERICA but then again, so arent those gay people who didnt/dont/wont be living/going to those 36/41 states IN AMERICA but have/are/will be  tried to be “converted back to” straightness by their peers.Any way in which non straight people are forced/pressurized to be converted into straight by so called “professionals” and “medical experts” counts as conversion therapy to me bc at the end of the day it doesnt really matter WHAT word you define it as when those trying to “fix” non straight people’s non straightness view those non straight people as someone who needs “fixing”.

Also, saying that ace people’s experience when their peers were trying to “fix” their asexuality isnt AS bad as what gay people go through when their gayness is tried to be “fixed” is…not a good thing to say.Trauma isnt a competition.Telling a person with a sprained leg that another person has a  fractured leg doesnt make the first person’s sprained leg hurt any less

Heres the long answer :

Here is the thing.The most “well known”  conversion therapy(and in aphobes’ case,the conversion therapy they keep bringing up to discourage ace people from calling their trauma involving attempts to fix them “conversion therapy” ) is the one which is legal in 36 or 41(The data keeps differing from diff sources) states in AMERICA ONLY and basically involves showing homoerotic images and videos to gay/bi people and inflicting some sort of violence/harm on them when them and/or their mind and/or their body shows any sort of interest on such images till they form an aversion to same gender attraction and other forms of torture.I described it as PG rated as possible but if anyone is interested and is NOT at the risk of being triggered they can read the whole process here(x).

Aphobes keep arguing that since no clinic advertises that they will “convert ace people back to normalcy” ,and even IF some ace person IS forced to undergo treatment of HSDD ,their experience doesnt matches the EXACT amount of abuse and trauma gay people go through during conversion therapy, aces arent “allowed” to call their experiences “conversion therapy”.Now , anyone with common sense and general morality will realize how bullshit this is bc aphobes are just putting their american centric rhetorics over ALL aces in THIS WORLD(bc they are ALWAYS considering the american conversion therapy)but i’ll still just prove how WRONG this argument is :

1.This argument is only AMERICA CENTRIC.Aphobes keep saying that since ace people dont go through the exact conversion therapy which is legal in 36/41 states in america,they cant call it “conversion therapy”.Now america is only one country.There are 193 countries in this world.The “valid”Conversion therapy is only there in america.But HOMOPHOBIA is there in ALL countries of this world.Now, If we consider aphobes’ argument as legit, then it would imply that any gay person who suffered through the trauma and abuse of having their identity turned into “straight” by their peers in any country OTHER THAN AMERICA CANNOT call their experiences “Conversion therapy”.That means all the gay people who faced torture in russia (especially in Chechnya)to be “fixed” cannot call their experiences “conversion therapy”.Gay people in Brazil and Jamaica who are tried to be “fixed” cannot call their experiences conversion therapy.I live in south asia,we dont even HAVE any special places dedicated to “convert” gay people.But there are many instances where gay people are hauled to the nearest “religious medical practitioners” who abuse and torture them for WEEKS to “cure” them.I guess those gay people cant even call their experiences “conversion therapy”.THIS IS HOW RIDICULOUS APHOBES SOUND.

2.Not every ace conversion therapy is caused by going through the treatment of HSDD : There are many ace people who have been told that it was their asexuality ITSELF that was a disorder and went through abusive therapies to “cure” it which led to some people ending up self-isolating until they ended up in a psych hospital and some people felt broken and alone after that(x).Many health professionals simply pass off asexuality as some  symptomatic of deeper mental health problem and thus not every ace who might have been tried to be “converted back to normalcy” might have been gone through quite a rough treatment too.

3.Telling people that their trauma isnt “”really that bad”” isnt a good thing.Telling them that their trauma  dosent really “”qualify”” enough to be considered “”real”” conversion therapy isnt good.Oppression and traumas arent a competition.The abuse and torture gay people go through during conversion therapy isnt gonna make the trauma ace people go through “better” or less severe.Telling women that “at least they arent being human trafficked and beaten by their husbands everyday like in middle east” isnt gonna make them feel better when they are catcalled or sexually harassed at work.If ace people are tried to be “”fixed”” by being forced/pressurized undergo “” treatments”” by so called “professionals” and “medical experts” , it counts as conversion therapy to me bc at the end of the day, ace people’s orientation is still being seen as “something to be fixed into straightness”.

So yeah, ace people CAN call all the abuse they go through to be “fixed” of their asexuality “conversion therapy”.Now that we are done, here are a few examples of ace people talking about their fears and/or experiences about conversion therapy which i havent provided already

If you really want to respect lgbtqa people who have gone through conversion therapy,try to make this world a better place for lgbtqa people so that their identity isnt seen as something to be fixed.Telling group of people you are bigoted against that they cant call their experiences of tried to be fixed “conversion therapy” isnt gonna do SHIT to help the community you think you are trying to protect.Saying that No ace person has EVER went to conversion therapy bc there are “valid proofs” is disgusting.

Asexuality IS a highly marginalized orientation and all your refutes against it WILL be debunked and shot down bc we have sources and real people’s accounts on our sides which is supported by many prominent lgbtqa organizations across the world.All aphobes have is bigotry and a bunch of followers who eat up whatever they say without applying any critical thinking skills to it.

[sinesalvatorem]

Explanations For Distinct Clusters of Transgender Personalities That Are Less Mean Than AGP

I know some of you guys might not be up for typology-posting of any kind, including typology-posting where I’m suggesting ways the model might be mistaken. More power to you guys and gals, and I suggest that you just ignore this (very speculative) post, secure in the knowledge that I fully support the validity of all of us trans folk.

People who are cool with dealing with MOAR trans theory circle-jerking, and want to hear why alternative theories to autogynephilia might be more explanatory, should read on.

So, we currently have a fair amount of evidence that the life histories of transfeminine people tend to cluster into two broad patterns:

There is a cluster of transwomen variously referred to as “early-onset transsexuals”, “homosexual transsexuals”,  and “transkids”. We were extremely gender-atypical in behaviour and interests since early childhood, predominantly had female friends and were mocked by boys for being effeminate, and felt from an early age (<10) like we didn’t belong in our assigned gender role. We typically transition early in life (mid-twenties or earlier) and are pretty much always androphilic.

Separately, there is a cluster of transwomen who typically have a later “onset”. That is to say, in very early childhood they weren’t gender-atypical, but around puberty or later begin to develop gender dysphoric feelings. They might transition at pretty much any point in life, and are pretty much always gynephilic. (Bisexuals are split between both groups.) They typically have more extensive body dysphoria than transkids, who usually just have a strong avoidance of our genitalia.

The reason canonically given for why transkids transition is that we’re bad at living in our assigned role. That we can’t successfully conform to the expectations of our role, while also not feeling any affinity to it and being more comfortable in the other one. Also, because straight guys are hot. This picture of things doesn’t seem too far off from my own introspection, and from what I’ve heard from the few other transkids I’ve spoken to.

Meanwhile, the etiology commonly given for late-onset transwomen is that they are people who love women and want to become what they love/desire/admire. The desire to become a beloved woman being referred to as “autogynephilia” (self-woman love).

The problem with that explanation is that it doesn’t seem to be consistent with the introspective lived experiences of most trans people. Now, it’s important to note that some people (both cis and trans) do experience autogynephilia, most notably Dr Anne Lawrence, who is a transgender researcher in both senses of that noun phrase. Trans people who experience autogynephilia are no less trans than other people, and certainly no less deserving of respect and appropriate medical care.

But even most of the trans people who do experience autogynephilia don’t feel like it’s a primary motivating component of their transition. More typically, they have a feeling of cross-sex identification and an intense aversion to both their sexed physical features and their gendered treatment by others. I may be over-generalising from my own experience, but that doesn’t sound too different from how I feel, apart from my lack of body dysphoria. As such, I’m somewhat inclined to expect that similar things are leading to this experience for both sets of trans people.

And it seems entirely plausible to me that the observed differences between early- and late-onset trans people are actually due to the age of onset. Imagine some weird hormone-exposure thing happens in the womb, causing the brain of a developing XY baby to be highly feminised at birth. You might expect that person to develop female-typical motor behaviours, to identify as female from very early life, and to start developing crushes on boys around when her (mostly female) friends do.

Meanwhile, if a similar hormone-linked change happens at puberty, you might expect extremely different outcomes. You might expect someone who has personally acclimated to masculine motor behaviours, who never previously had questions about their gender identity, and who’s already been developing a sex-typical sexual orientation, to at that point start to experience gender dysphoria.

Thus, the age at which one catches the trans would determine the degree to which they might be “pre-feminised”, including details like sexual orientation, which would develop in a female-typical direction if one’s brain was feminised before their sexuality began to develop, and otherwise develop according to the usual plan.

This could also be used to explain the discrepancy in the incidence of body dysphoria, and in sexual response to feminisation. If you suddenly develop a case of the trans during puberty, when people are developing secondary sexual characteristics, you may end up feeling averse to the bodily changes that are making you more distinct from the group you identify with. Meanwhile, transkids are typically only intensely dysphoric about our genitalia, and otherwise only feel physical dysphoria in connection potentially being read as our natal sex.

Plus, if you start having feelings of cross-sex identity at the same time that your cross-sex attraction comes in, you may end up associating your transition-related feelings to your sexual feelings and end up with an arousal-response that’s connected to being/looking feminine or cross dressing. This would explain the observation that early-onset trans people basically never experience this arousal, while people with later onsets often do. Meanwhile, someone like me might have no sexual associations with it, since I’ve been doing drag-equivalents since I was seven.

I think this hypothesis does well on simplicity, because it doesn’t assume that there are multiple causes of transsexualism, just that the same process might occur at different (hormonal change linked) times in one’s life cycle, and that one’s personal development and relation to gender may be strongly influenced by this difference in onset. Furthermore, I don’t think it requires that we believe the vast majority of trans people are lying or confused about whether their dysphoria is due to sexual attraction, which would say is false.