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expatshaarlem · 7 years

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I am from Tanzania, not Tasmania.

“Hello, I’m Edna and I come from Tanzania”, I introduce myself to a stranger at an expatriates event. “Oh, the devil! ”, he exclaims. Huh…did he just refer to me as the devil!? I contain myself and suppress the need to sarcastically refer to him as God. “Do I look like the devil?”, I ask him with offense written all over my face. “No, I mean the Tasmanian Devil, I meant it as a joke because you come from Tasmania.” I excuse this as a misunderstanding and laugh politely. He then proceeds to give me a lesson in social studies by explaining that a Tasmanian devil is a small carnivorous animal found in the Australian state of Tasmania.

“Yes, I am aware of the Tasmanian devil but I am from T-A-N-Z-A-N-I-A. It’s a country in East Africa,” I reiterate with a geography lesson. “Ah yes in Africa, of course, it is! I want to visit Africa one day, I would love to climb the Kilimanjaro (highest mountain in Africa) in Kenya”. Wrong. The Kilimanjaro is in Tanzania not Kenya, I tell him. “Ah, of course, it is!”, he proclaims. “Well, after climbing the Kilimanjaro I will take a trip to the island country of Zanzibar, I also want to see the Victoria Falls in Uganda,” he goes on to say. Wrong again! “Zanzibar is not a country, it is in Tanzania, the Victoria Falls is in Zimbabwe and Zambia”, I educate the man again. I am beginning to get tired of him so I smile sweetly and leave. He wants to sound knowledgeable yet he has no clue. He is not alone. I have encountered this before and I do not understand why people pretend to have subject- matter knowledge for the sake of making small talk and being perceived as intelligent. It would be much easier if they simply stated their ignorance and learned something new. To put it bluntly, this gentleman made an idiot of himself.

Holland is NOT a country

I am pretty sure the above caption will surprise many people. I know from experience that many people who do not live in the Netherlands believe it is also called Holland. North and South Holland are provinces in the Netherlands. There are 12 provinces in the Netherlands and the two Hollands takes up the biggest space on the pie chart, they encompass the large and important cities of The Hague, Amsterdam, and Rotterdam. To break it down a bit, I live in North Holland, West of the Netherlands.

THE Ukraine does not exist- Do not insult Ukrainians

President Barack Obama committed a sin against Ukrainians in 2014. He opened old sores and caused discomfort. The wise and intentionally diplomatic president made a speech at an elementary school in the United States whereas he referred to ‘The’ Ukraine. The fact is, The Ukraine does not exist. ‘The’ Ukraine is what the Russians (long time arch enemy) referred to it during the Soviet Union times. Ukraine is the correct usage of the country Ukraine. Ukrainians are sensitive to this incorrect reference to their country because it brings up past scores of the suffering, enslavement, and massacre of Ukrainians during the Soviet Union times. It also denies the independence and sovereignty of Ukraine. Ironically when Obama gave that speech he was actually expressing disapproval of the invasion and occupation of part of Ukraine by Russia. However, one could consider the use of ‘The Ukraine’ to be Obama falling into the Russians’ way of thinking (past or present) – that is, ownership of Ukraine. I honestly think the good President should have done his homework before insulting a nation. It was ignorant and unintended of course, but one cannot overlook the fact that elementary school children are prone to adhere to that painful reference and that it could also lead to an unsettling political situation. Personally, I think Ukrainians have every right to be sensitive.

The Hague is not a country, The Hague is not a court

I have encountered two types of people, those who believe The Hague is a country and those who believe it is a court. Surprisingly some of these people have been seemingly intelligent people. One person actually shocked me by challenging me, a resident, to a debate regarding the “international court” status of The Hague. This is someone who graduated from a university in England. This is foolish confidence at its best! The fact is, The Hague is a city in the North Sea coast of western Netherlands and capital of South Holland. The Hague is known as the international city of peace and justice and boasts international organisations and international (world) courts such as the International Court of Justice and the International Criminal Court. It is no wonder its status can be confusing.

There are two types of Irishmen

There are two types of Irishmen; One will offer you Jameson whiskey and the other Bushmills whiskey, one will promote Bulmers cider and the other Magners cider. So what am I on about here? Well, the fact is, these two Irishmen live in different countries.The Republic of Ireland is an independent country and Northern Ireland is part of the United Kingdom. The Irish (in the Republic) often consider the Northern Irish as deserters and traitors who chose to side with the UK during the fight for cessation and independence. Do not get me wrong, the two sides live peacefully next to each other but don’t expect an Irishmen from the Republic to buy a pint of beer for the Northern Irelander. Do not expect them to celebrate St Patrick’s day together and by all means do not expect a Republican Irishman to drink Bushmills whiskey. However, you can expect to be offered Guinness beer by either. Both Irishmen produce and love their Guinness.

The Vatican is a country

In this paragraph, I have a confession to make . Until recently, I thought The Vatican was a city in Italy that enjoyed autonomy because the Pope is its ruler. I know I am not alone here because I have heard the same from a number of people. You see, I can also be ignorant. I may sound like a bit of a know-it-all but I am not as knowledgeable as I make out. See, I am modest too. Hahaha. Anyway, The Vatican is NOT in Italy.

Big Ben is not a tower

Most tourists who have been to London will boast about having visited the tower of Big Ben. Wrong. The tower called “Big Ben” is actually called the Elizabeth Tower. Big Ben is the huge bell inside the tower.

Africa is NOT a country

I just could not let this lie. Let us face it, I am an African patriot and I don’t apologise for it. I have deliberately saved the best for last. Since I moved to Europe from Tanzania I have had to educate people on the fact that Africa is not a country on a number of occasions. People assume that every African person comes from the “country” called Africa. Africa is a continent made up of 54 recognised independent states. Period.

Conclusion

It is easier to assume facts than to admit ignorance. Confucius once said, “Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance.” I agree with this quote because in my opinion, not knowing does not make one stupid. What makes one stupid (or appear stupid) is assuming facts despite not knowing. Not knowing can drive one to seek knowledge and this is characteristic of a smart and wise person. However, there are those like the writer Mark Twain who is of the view that ignorance and confidence drives one to succeed. Hmm…its an interesting debate. The ‘Trump’ card comes to mind. The human being is certainly a complex animal.

First published on Foreign Pointers.

#expat life #ignorance #Culture #Expat Life

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theelectricfilmdiary · 8 years

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Our first morning in Ireland (30th December) was spent walking a trail to get to Mahon Falls. The falls were located about 30 mins drive inland from our BnB in Dungarvan and sit in a circular valley of steep hillsides. It was beautiful, freezing fecking cold but beautiful. The walk to the falls took about 20 mins over a fairly decent track before people started risking limbs and climbing up the side of the rock face to see the view from the top. Hiking gear not on my side, I made it about half way up before deciding I liked my ankles just fine as they are. About two hours of walking and clambering later we made it back to the car and munched on a mandarin lunch…. not Chinese… literally a bag of mandarins… dollars are tight. Next stop – the town of Cashel and more particularly The Rock of Cashel.

The Rock of Cashel is fortress that housed the kings of Munster for several hundred years before being given by the King Muirchertach O Briain (don’t ask me how to say it) to the church in 1101. Multiple buildings were added over the following century’s and then it unfortunately fell into disrepair as the cost to maintain it became too high. Now a heritage site it is still being painstakingly restored and preserved – the inside is beautiful (despite the cathedrals missing roof) and intricate stone carvings adorn many of the remaining doorways and altar tables. Further down the hill from The Rock of Cashel are the remains of Hore Abbey – I know, weird name. It’s also known as Hoare Abbey or sometimes called St Mary’s (which I found to be a strange alternative given the whole “virgin Mary immaculate conception” thing). Unlike the Rock of Cashel there was no tourist entrance here, just the ruins sitting in the middle of farm land, with a small muddy track leading to it. The remains of the buildings are exquisite, most of the walls are covered in moss and grass and the alcoves and windows house the local bird population. The top of the tower was cut off from the ground level, the steps up into it having fallen apart long ago, and through the narrow tower windows you could glimpse into a room where nature had taken over and a viney green garden had grown. Jim and I tried to find a way to climb up to it but three storeys of deteriorating, slippery rock walls prevented us – that and the fear of breaking all of the bones in our bodies if we fell to the floor of the abbey. Dinner that evening was at a truck stop called Mother Hubbards in Cashel township. We should have known better is all I can say for that meal…

The next morning (New Years Eve) we departed Dungarvan and drove to the City of Cork to drop our stuff off at our next shoebox Airbnb, then drove just out of the city to a town called Midleton, and more particularly to the Jameson’s Distillery. We did a tour of the old whisky distillery, though I have to say the one we did in Oban, Scotland was much better. James was selected as a lucky whisky sampler and got to compare what he thought were three fairly average whiskys; Jonny Walker Red (which he doesn’t like), Jack Daniels (which again, he doesn’t fancy too much), and of course Jameson’s which was just their basic whisky and was okay. Jameson’s won out of course. After the sampling we stumbled to the Jamesons restaurant and were pleasantly surprised by the food – Jim stating it was the best veggie burger he had ever had. We drove from there back into Cork where we unpacked and planned the next few days, and after a couple of hours of relaxing set out for a bar named Oliver Plunkett to welcome in the new year. The music was decent, the first band particularly, and the Hendricks & Soda perfect despite their inital decision to serve it to me in a massive/ridiculous looking wine goblet!? The new year arrived and soon after we left for home base, stopping for the token hot chip dinner on the way.

New Year’s Day and our heads were pounding like so many others around the world. We lay in bed until mid-day, then walked into town for a very late lunch. Coqbull was a burger joint that offered up a tasty selection of boutique burgers and good music. Chicken with habanero chilli mayo and bacon, or Jims choice of a beef burger with jalapeños, pickled onions and a chilli jam. After our late lunch/dinner we walked around Cork township and then back to our warm beds – town was closed up and we were tired.

2nd of January we were moving again – we packed and left Cork, bound for Abbeyfeale in the County of Kerry (south-western area of Ireland). We took the coastal route down from Cork and made a few stops for photographs, one in particular being the Drombeg Stone Circle, aka the Druids Altar just out of Glandore. Another Stonehenge type megalithic rock formation accompanied by hut and cooking pit ruins from around 1100-800BC. We actually got to walk through the stones and touch them which may not seem like a big deal but after being denied that privilege at Stonehenge it was quite an achievement. From the stones we drove to Bantry, a coastal village where we stopped for wood fired pizza and an epic seafood chowder before continuing our drive until up the coast. The sun was setting by this point and the landscape as we entered the Kerry County was heart stopping. The mountains and hills border the ocean and are covered in grasses, sheer rock faces and forests in a mind-blowing spectrum of colours. We snapped a bunch of photos before the sun finally set, and then drove the last hour under the cover of night to our new accommodation. The BnB was great, a little hard to find out in the country since half of Ireland’s country houses don’t have numbers, (sometimes not even a street name), but the bed was the best so far.

The frost was heavy on the ground when we woke on the 3rd, and there were large patches of ice scattered all over the country roads which made driving super fun. After breakfast we packed up the car and shipped out early to get over to a coastal town called Dingle which I had heard a bit about. The town was nice enough, cute shops and pubs but the best part of the day was the trip there through Conor Pass….. holy shit, sheer cliff sides, towering mountains and to top it off there was ice everywhere. We stopped at one super awe-inspiring spot and climbed the side of the icy mountain up to a hidden lake. The view out was indescribable, it’s got to be one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen and makes me want to come back and spend a couple of months here exploring – maybe in summer though. Further around the hairpin bends in the road was another point where you could park up and look out over the other side of the range to the ocean around Dingle and the surrounding towns. I hauled ass up to the top of the hillside and got camera happy. When we finally made it to Dingle we stopped in at the Grey Bistro for lunch, Jim is addicted to seafood chowder at the moment so he ordered that, and I got a goats cheese salad which was pretty good. We walked around the township a bit and then drove further around the point to Beenbawn beach where the green farmland just drops away to the water. I got dizzy trying to look over the cliffs edge – Jim doing the whole “DONT FALL!” shake your shoulders joke didn’t help either. Before getting back to the car a super friendly dog also scared the shyte out of me by sneaking right up before I turned and saw it, then it bounced all over my coat with its muddy paws… cute and annoying…. mostly cute though.

The next day was the 4th of January and we were visiting the Cliffs of Moher – they were of course beautiful. Terrifying, with a worn, muddy and slippery as fuck farm track taking you past the visitors centre path and along the cliff top edge. My vertigo came into full effect when I got within two meters of the drop – all the while other tourists were risking life and limb by hanging their legs and in one instance jumping off the edge to a lower ledge for “epic” photo ops. Just watching it made me nauseous. It wasn’t helped by the “oh so suitable” boots I chose to wear which have no grip whatsoever. I nearly arsed over a few times and Jim slid his way down an entire portion of path at one point. The view was amazing though, unfortunately is was raining and cold and after walking for about two hours over the track we were heading back to the car. We also stopped to see a couple of other sites, Poulnabrone Domen which is a portal tomb from the neolithic period that rests on a plateau of limestone that has slowly been eroded over the past 16000 years to look like giant puzzle pieces, and then a castle which has been turned into an artists school/uni type thing, called Burren College of Arts. After all the exploring we drove back to our air BnB and packed up for an early check out.

The next morning we departed for Dublin and had a long journey ahead of us as well as a stop at Galway for a look-see. Galway is a cute city, unfortunately like most it is a bit of a tourist trap and didn’t offer anything particularly special except the original jeweller where the Claddagh ring originated 200 years ago… apparently. We stopped for lunch and I had one of the best coffees I’ve had so far from a place called Coffeewerk + Press which was both cafe and design store/gallery in one. From there we continued our journey toward Dublin, planning to stop at Newgrange, an epic stone age tomb, however YET AGAIN we were too late, this time by fifteen minutes! So on to Dublin, where we stopped for dinner at Pigeon House and enjoyed one of our first decent meals in weeks – we actually had vegetables! Before we left we also spotted Liam Cunningham, the guy that plays Davos on Game Of Thrones! Haha that made our night! I was gonna pester him for a photo but decided to let him get his fish and chips in peace. Still awesome watching him in his natural environment hahaha – bit of a creep aren’t I.

Our Air BnB was pretty good, our host was having a slumber party with her grand-daughter and after showing us the house she stopped to chat with us while the kid (I’m guessing hopped up on sugar) climbed all over our bags in our room – laptop included…. what a fucking angel. Grandma didn’t really seem to mind too much either – good first impression all round. We decided to lock our bedroom door from then on.

Our last full day in Ireland was spent exploring Dublin. It’s a beautiful city, as with most European cities is has a bunch of gorgeous old buildings and museums, this time however Jim and I decided to stop at the Dublin Science Gallery and check out the exhibition. Amazing stuff, not just beautiful visually but each piece had a really cool explanation on the wall which outlined the artistic point of view as well as the scientific/political idea behind it. Pretty educational. Lunch was a spur of the moment decision and we stumbled upon gold, salads and sandwiches made with gorgeous ingredients (mozzarella, pesto, roast capsicum and rocket sandwich – amazeballs). The only downer was the girl on the table next to us who was apparently dying from plague, she coughed and hacked so much I got put off – even James did. Gross. We explored more of the city that afternoon before escaping the cold and rain by way of the Savoy Cinema – Assassins Creed. From there it was a short train ride back to our warm bed.

We flew out of Dublin the next day (7th January) bound for foggy London town, before we left however we drove back to Newgrange and did a tour. Unfortunately we werent allowed cameras inside the chamber but it was beautiful and we got to experience (through a special lighting effect) what it was like to see the winter eqiunox sunrise where the light lines up with the chamber entrance for about 17 mins (only six days a year). From there we were off to the airport and as usual the check in experience was great. Jim got felt up by security – he is looking a bit dodgy now though with his long unkempt hair and gnarly beard so it may have been justified…

scenery on the way to County Kerry

scenery on the way to County Kerry – Road tunnel through the hill

scenery on the way to County Kerry

Beenbawn Beach cliffs

New favourite at Jamesons Distillery restaurant

Beenbawn Beach

Leaving Abbeyfeale

Beenbawn beach cliffs

James and Cliffs of Moher

scenery on the way to County Kerry – Road tunnel through the hill

Cliffs of Moher view

Frosty morning in Abbeyfeale

Conor Pass

Beenbawn beach cliffs

scenery on the way to County Kerry

labeling our whisky

Newgrange Entrance

Conor Pass – secret lake

Beenbawn Beach

Newgrange Entrance

Conor Pass

Limestone Puzzlefields

Lunch at Jamesons Distillery, Midleton

Cliffs of Moher

Jamesons Distillery details

Limestone Puzzle field

Conor Pass

leaving Abbeyfeale

Conor Pass

scenery on the way to County Kerry

Conor Pass overlooking Dingle

Cliffs of Moher details

Bottling our whisky at Jamesons Distillery

Conor Pass

Cliffs of Moher

James and Cliffs of Moher

labeling our whisky

Beenbawn Beach Cliffs

Conor Pass

Frosty morning in Abbeyfeale

leaving Abbeyfeale

James bottling our whisky

Conor Pass

James bottling our own cask strength whisky to take home

Beenbawn Beach cliffs

James whisky sampling

New year in Ireland Our first morning in Ireland (30th December) was spent walking a trail to get to Mahon Falls.

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