#westruggled

[lgcjin]

━━━   ❥ FANMEETING TOUR SOLO NIGHT

jinyoung felt sick the second he woke up and remembered he was performing his solo in just a few hours. he felt quite satisfied and confident while practicing alone. the song is not exactly a new style, but it does bring forward a side of himself he hasn't shown yet. more mature, and much closer to the type of music he would want to be able to produce one day. his vocals improved drastically in the past year, too, so he wanted the fans to be introduced to the current jinyoung. not just the young and shy rapper they saw during future dreams.

what did the minneapolis fans do to deserve the unfortunate fate of seeing him fail on stage, though? they paid tickets to see talented idols, not a clumsy idiot who would most likely throw up as soon as he would open his mouth. that was how negative jinyoung was when he came down for breakfast, barely touching his toasts, the mere sight turning his stomach upside down.

too hard, it’s just too hard i’m a little sad because you don’t understand how i feel i’m officially missing you

the entire day passes by in a flash, as if an invisible force fast forwarded to the moment jinyoung is about to get on stage and sing. it feels as though he was barely conscious until now, an automated robot moving and singing as he's done countless times before. that's not what happened of course, but jinyoung doesn't see how else time would have passed so quickly. he's not ready, he thinks. he'll never be ready to face a crowd like that.

it's a warm hand on his shoulder that snaps him out of it. he turns and sees jun's beautiful smile directed at him. so beautiful it's almost painful for jin to look at. his friend doesn't say a word, yet jinyoung knows exactly what he's not saying. "i know i can do it..." he says, as if he's repeating jun's thoughts out loud. he returns the other a sheepish smile.

how do you manage to look so fine? although you’re always clueless all you have to do is smile just like back in the day

the brief moment shared with his best friend did help jinyoung gather enough strength to walk to the middle of the stage, but the gauge immediately went down to zero when the lights went on and he saw all of these eyes looking straight at him. he can't distinguish each face very well but he knows their attention is focused on him. luckily for him, the song does express vulnerability and hidden feelings, so his slight hesitation in the beginning almost seems voluntary.

he closes his eyes often, aware that it's not the best way to connect with an audience, but that's how he tries to picture himself singing in an empty room, to no one but himself. or maybe just to his loved ones. he wishes his family would be there, he wishes seojin could see his improvement. he wishes his friends would be in the crowd instead of backstage.

i wonder if you know that i’m always missing you

[dancingemotionsofmamaa]

#lifeofrealmoms #lorm_apr2018 Prompt 10april2018.. #westruggled .... 😎We as parent have struggled from aysha's eating to sleeping. At first she didnt latch so we were worried but slowly we convinced ourselves . Then the main or say villain was her sleeping pattern. First few weeks she slept the whole day and night but slowly she slept the whole day and play the whole night making me and mom as her partner. 😎😎We as couple have struggled from going out *with aysha . Its really challenging to go out with baby. 😎😎😎I as mother has struggled for aysha's dressing or actually not because dressing was done according everyone wish in my house. Since living with siblings is also not less than struggle 😁😁😎😀😉😙😙😙😙😙 (justkidding).. 🤗😇 😎😎😎😎😎 so there are many but each are solving with positive results as she is growing 😍 #nofilter #girlsgrowuptoofast #babystruggles #childhood #captured #daddaughter 😎😎And also i have to struggle to get a good photo captured ... #nailedit 😂😁😁😀😀 #dancingemotionsofmama

[chuckitfilms]

What's In An End

What is it like for an end?

Is it a dying of a light?

Is it abrupt? Does it cut loose and away it sinks into the abyss within seconds to blackness.

Does it howl? Does it stand, walk a few paces and collapse? Does it keep walking to you, falling and standing, refusing to, begging you to not let it die?

What's in an end but a beginning?

A light goes out only to turn to see the striking of a match.

What falls in darkness might be the anchor dragging us down into the depths of despair.

But if it walks, struggles, cries, fights, rages, and burns...maybe it's not its time at all? Maybe all it needed was to realize it was on the precipice. That edge to scratch away all unimportance and reveal a sharper focus.

A real dream with love, with life, and a need to be realized will fight.

It does not go silently into that goodnight.

It will rage.