#what a delightful array of tw/cw tags

[pfhwrittes]

taking a leaf out of @syoddeye’s book and talking about divorced versions of the 141 under the cut.

(pass me the emergency cigarette 🚬)

trigger warnings: controlling financial behaviour/financial abuse, stalking, referenced off screen masturbation, religion/catholicism, implied blowjob (johnny receiving), noncon.

pairings: john price x gender neutral reader, simon “ghost” riley x gender neutral reader, john “soap” mactavish x gender neutral reader, kyle “gaz” garrick x gender neutral reader.

a little unedited drabble typed up on my phone for you all 💜

18+ only please and thank you due to suggestive content below the cut!

look, sy said it best with their posts when it comes to ex-husband john price.

he’ll let you stretch out your leash, let you go running into the arms of another person if he has to, but remember sweetheart — he made vows to do right by you and he plans on keeping them.

monthly maintenance payments, paid in a hand delivered envelope of cash, are a regular occurrence. every third thursday of the month he darkens your doorstep. the envelope is fat with five pound notes and he takes great pleasure in making you count it all out in front of him every time.

he also doesn’t tell you that he still has access to the online portals where you he pays your electric and water bill. silly thing, he understands divorce is hard but really you should’ve noticed that you haven’t received a bill from them in years. however, if he spots that wet blanket you call your new partner sniffing around again he’ll happily let you freeze…

simon riley swore until “death does you part” and he means it.

you can move addresses, change your number, delete and remake your social media presence under a new name as many times as you like but while there’s still breath in his body and grave dirt under his nails, you are his.

don’t fight him, you were the first soft perfect beautiful good thing in his life and like a dog on a scent he will always find you.

your new place is nice, love, but you really should get them locks looked at. did he mention that he loves the new underwear you bought? no? that’s alright he’ll leave you a token of his appreciation spattered on the soft material of the gusset for you to find later…

johnny mactavish was married under the eyes of God, and what God has brought together let no man tear asunder. what’s that hen? you married him in a different ceremony? aye, he knows. you married him in a different ceremony. he married you as a Catholic.

don’t worry bonnie thing, he’ll let you atone for your numerous sins. start with some Hail Marys on your knees and don’t even think about moving your hands from the zip on his jeans. if you’re good he’ll let you take Communion. if you’re bad, well, you know what they say about washing the mouths of sinners out with soap…

kyle garrick makes your divorce proceedings as easy and as amicable as possible. he doesn’t accuse you of finding love elsewhere, he doesn’t beg to stay in the housing on base the two of you share. in fact as soon as he’s presented with the no-fault paperwork he signs and moves out that day with a lingering kiss to your cheek and a murmur in you ear that he’ll come to you immediately if you need anything, babe.

what you don’t know is that eight weeks before you got up the guts to ask for a divorce, he spotted your search history on the clever bit of kit he installed on your phone and put in a request to dissolve your housing agreement.

times ticking babe, even though you don’t know it, you’ve only got four weeks left on your tenancy and twenty weeks until proceedings start. don’t worry, he knows there’s no hard feelings. he even put your favourite sheets on the bed in his new flat off base — where he plans on keeping you until that silly idea of a divorce has leaked out of your ears under all the affection he plans on smothering you with…