#what if i pile everything i want into one ficlet on a wednesday evening?

[straightupsickfics]

a tiny self-indulgent modern au ed sickfic, as a midweek treat <3

****

Stede: Sorry gang! Going to have to take a raincheck on dinner, Ed's a bit under the weather I'm afraid :(

Lucius: Yikes, you're in for a treat

Stede: ???

Pete: Leave Ed alone, he's not that bad when he's sick!

Lucius: lmao don't lie to him, babe

Jim: Sounds good, keep those germs to yourselves

Jim: And Tell Ed feel better I guess

Stede: Thanks? I think...

****

"There, that wasn't hard," Stede says, setting his phone down at looking back up at Ed. In the short time Stede had been looking at his phone, Ed's eyes had gotten that far away, hazy look to them, and Stede knows what's coming. "Oh, go ahead," he encourages.

“Hh’iItssHHH! Uh’huUSHHEW!" The sneezes are strong, damp things that seem to shiver right through Ed, poor thing. Stede can't imagine how he'd gotten through the work day if he felt anywhere near as bad as he sounded when he got home.

"God bless you, Ed." Stede kisses his shoulder, smiling because Ed's wearing one of Stede's own sweaters, a soft, blue one that just makes him look soft. "Sounds like you needed that," he adds.

Ed gives his head a shake, then sneezes twice more, like an afterthought. "Hh'uHHtshh! Hh'Ushh'ue!"

"Bless you two more times," Stede presses a kiss to Ed's cheek this time, then cards a hand through Ed's short, salt and pepper curls. He loves this on a good day, Stede knows, but now, Ed seems to melt into the soft touch.

"Gonna get fuckin' tired of saying that," Ed says. His voice is low and rough, closer to a growl, and Stede thinks briefly about Lucius' message.

"Not a big fan of being sick, hm?"

Ed frowns at him. "Who is?"

"Fair point. But... ah, bless you?" Stede pauses when Ed inhales sharply, and sure enough he turns and sneezes into the sleeve of his sweater.

"EH’EeiiSHH! sNf!"

Stede leans over and kisses the muttered curse from Ed's lips, reveling a little in the way Ed continues to soften against him.

"Fucking cold," Ed says. "You're going to get this next if you keep that up. Fucking germs, fucking winter," he rants.

"Lucius might've mentioned you get a bit, ah... upset when you're ill," Stede says, biting back a laugh. He really does feel bad that Ed's so sick, but the outburst, combined with the way Ed seems set on snuggling right into Stede's side on the couch is... adorable. Not that he would say as much to Ed right this moment.

"Lucius is a dick," Ed says. "Fuck I-ihh! Not aga-hh!-again'd..." Ed trails off, gasping, and Stede takes the liberty of grabbing a handful of tissues from the near-empty box on the couch, and holding them up over Ed's nose and mouth.

The fit comes on too quickly for Ed to do anything but lean into them. "Hh’Dshh! Tshhh! Uh…Huh-UhhTSHH!”

Ed snuffles quietly into the tissues, clearly determined to regain some semblance of control over his cold, and Stede can't help but melt a little at how red-nosed and sniffly he looks, all worn out from his cold. He pulls Ed to him and kisses him again, slower and more deliberately this time.

"Bless you," Stede murmurs.

"D'you have a death wish, Stede Bonnet?" Ed asks, looking at Stede when they break apart.

"Mm, no, I don't think so, why?" Stede asks, picking up his phone and scrolling to their favorite Mexican place, finger hovering over the express reorder option. "I am thinking about dinner, though. Want to order in, since we were supposed to go out?"

Ed rolls his eyes but nods.

"Okay, yes, I know. But we do sleep in the same bed more often than not. Chances are I'm already catching your cold, so..." Stede shrugs, and, food ordered, sets his phone back down on the coffee table among the cough drops, water bottles, mugs, and balled up tissues.

"You're a lunatic," Ed says, though all the venom has gone out of his words, and he just sounds tired, like fighting his cold all day had taken everything in him.

"You like it," Stede says, smiling.

Ed rolls his eyes, but he's smiling, too. "Yeah, guess I do. C'mere," he says, and tucks himself back in against Stede's side, face nuzzling into the crook of Stede's neck.

Pete's right, Stede thinks distantly, Ed's not bad at all when he's sick.