#what was I supposed to be using thi blog for again. o well rn lmao

[wackymaci]

this is also,

chinhands very long but excellent Loki moment and peak whiny Maci moment. still about Chal obviously way way way way way pre reconciliation,

reading Maci and Loki’s interactions every single time until like One Single Year Ago is also singularly amusing to me AHH—

[lecterofthelambs-blog]

this was suppose to be a one liner about how i just don’t have muse but then it turned out to be me typing to myself so these are just the thoughts that were in my head and i just let myself g o lol

anyway i don’t recommend reading this if you don’t like negativity because it’s like me @ing myself lmao

but seriously if ur one of those peeps who really doesn’t like seeing stuff like this don’t read it and then you can’t get mad at me 

but if you’re one of those people who likes hearing rants then this is a post for you

sometimes im like ‘ye you know i bet if i just started the series again i’d start picking up muse for hannibal and i can come back!’ and im like yeah all i gotta do is put in some effort to get my muse again but then i remember that it doesn’t really matter either way because this is such an easily replaceable character and WOW this is probably why i lost my muse bc mmmmmmmk

k

like y’all know what i mean right wowzers wo w ok right now this is me typiing talking to myself like okay so a while ago i had this dream where i was hannibal and i was invited to a party by...... hannibal like we were both hannibal ya know and anyway me and this other hannibal start hanging out and i just can’t satisfy him? he’s likE HARDCORE JUDGING ME LOL like i couldn’t do anything right and everything i did was incorrect and the guests were crowding around him more and i woke up like wozers THAT IS SOME  👌 👌 SYMBOLIC DREAM YOU GOT THERE BUDDY and i really hope no one is actually reading this bc lol this is just a rant to myself im just typing rn talking and it feels really nice letting out all this steam. anyway to this dream like IT TOTES SOUNDS LIKE IM MAKING THIS UP BUt is2g im not lmao anyway yeah that was my unconcious literally telling myself “u fuckin su kkk “ and i was like ‘tru’ you get you get

and then sometimes i’d go to my buds like “idk i feel really insecure about writing hannibal recently” and then people would just “oh well he’s a really popular charcter” and it was like OKAY COOL THAT IS ?? HELPFUL I WANT TO T H ANK YOU MY BRO i kn o w he’s popular that’s literally the reason im insecure u r not hlepinn

and then also when people use you for your muse ? like when one hannibal goes inactive then everyone scrambles to find another one like HE’S JUST SO REPLACEABLE and y’all can understand why that would make someone lose muse right? im not being salty rn right??

like. im not mad @ people when i see them rping with another hannibal ya know because that would be shitty and that wouldn’t be right. i am not PERSONALLY UPSET when people do that but it does......... i guess kinda like stings a bit. like, again, im not thinking “oh this specific person replaced me” it’s more of “im replaceable”. “im an easy person to replce” and TBH im not ?? salty @ people i have no one to blame but myself like what do i expect you get im not sitting here on my dash getting mad and feeling betrayed by old mutuals lol no that would be super shitty. i don’t expect people to wait by my blog for me to come back and i wouldn’t want them to either.

but it’s kinda like

have you ever had a friend and y’all had a falling out and then you see that friend hangin with a new peep and you’re like “ouch, we used to have something like that” THAT’S WHAT I FEEL it’s not “wow that bitch replaced me” at alllll

and i’ve considered..... ‘well maybe it’s that it’s a canon character that’s stressing you, babe, maybe you just don’t like having so many expectations and the threat of judgment’ and im like !! yeah man that’s true because i love my ocs!!! and then i think ‘well!!! just make a character like hannibal and have him be your babe and that’d be radrad’

and then i think about

and then im like

‘that’s literally just making a knockoff brand I WOULD BE MAKING A GREAT VALUE HANNIBAL LMAOOOOO’ but idk i’d have to work really hard on a character like that so he ISN’T like that and he’d have to come really naturally and i wouldn’t be able to force him

natural birth u get no inducers pls

wow this got

long

idk if anyone actually read this at all and if they did i doubt y’all got all the way here but

if u did

sup

i swear i try being a more positive person regularlly lol

i keep thinking as i type this imma be like ‘aND A NO THER THI NG’

but im chill rn

maybe my new years resolution should be be more positive and stop being a lil bitch l o l okay im done bye