#when george said that it would be easier if masumi had really been dead all this time it foreshadows this part of the series

[t-u-i-t-c]

Proof of Determination! This is... Japan's No. 1 Busybody!

[scoups4lyfe]

I think there's an interesting contrast to earlier scenes were Masumi would try and downplay his fuckups and try and portray himself as some tragic hero, whereas know when confessing what he did to George he just puts all his cards on the table: owns up to what he did, explains the reasons, even admits to it being wrong of him to do. I agree that he's very much trying to atone for what he did but he doesn't think himself worthy of that forgiveness so I think he self sabotages by leaning into the persona he perceives others have view him as. I think this moment with George is him deciding at the end to just drop the act and put all the cards on the table, to try and go out with as few regrets as possible. Notice he really doesn't downplay anything in this scene or try and reframe in a positive light. Even apologising for getting Weekend involved, with the implication of him choosing people specifically because they'd be willing to throw their lives away for the cause. I feel most for George cause he's gotta be feeling all kinds of conflicted at this point, like he said in an earlier episode: "things would've been simpler if (Masumi) just stayed dead".

 Now that you mention it, I find it kind of cowardly that Masumi waits until he’s literally on his death-bed in order to come clean.

He had A LOT of time to bring this up, yet he chose not to. 

Another thing I’d like to point attention to is the fact that he outright announces something very personal about GEORGE to an entire room of people. He didn’t inform George beforehand, didn’t tell him and then ask if he could tell others, just outright told everyone at once and I think that violates George’s autonomy AGAIN —because now he’s forced to be a bystander as everyone (including himself) learns of what his father did to him. 

This is why —as you brought up —the line “things would’ve been simpler if you (Masumi) had just stayed dead” immediately raised red flags in my brain. And while I DO agree George was most likely talking about abandonment and how knowing his father was alive that entire time and that he CHOSE not to go and see George somewhat ruined the good memories he had of his dad, especially in terms of love.

‘Did my father really love me if he didn’t even want  nor try to see me once in 25 years?’ 

And yet a part of me could totally see George saying this about abandonment but ALSO about the inner-demon thing (subconsciously). Like, even if he didn’t remember it the vibes and discomfort were there.

It wouldn’t surprise me. 

This is why my mind immediately went to, ‘Did his father experiment on him?’ Because (for me) saying something like that felt way too strong to “just” be about abandonment. 

Not to say abandonment isn’t high on the list of fvcked up things, BUT BUT BUUUUT — I think it’s easier to forgive, because some part of you will always kind of seek out that connection / that love.

(Hence why I guess George DID end up moving into his Dad’s base. Because he does love his father and wants to be close to him, even if he doesn’t want to admit it / is bitter about the past breach of trust —via abandonment.)

So when George said this, my mind went to: “Did his father violate his autonomy in some kind of way to cause George to be bitter that his dad is alive because then he can’t NOT dislike him for what’s been done in the past?” 

Somehow, the inner demon reveal thing is even worse to me than just experimentation –though it COULD count as that too (LOL…I really called it).

Anyways, [end of my thoughts] LOL. <33.