#when i say people i mean anyone that can't 100% get pregnant. cause now

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hey sexy witch!

So I just had my first real sexual experience... And it didn't go exactly how I would've liked. So I'm a cis man who's 23 and never really kissed anyone, and was with someone I did really like and nothing really happened below stairs for me. I am on antiDs and appreciate the stress off expectations may have damaged performance (as may alcohol have as well), and I also know that penetrative sex isn't the be all and end all of relationships - but basically I was wondering if you had any resources or advice to help relax / assist in turgidity in this situation?

Apologies if this isn't the best worded but well I'm not in the most coherent state of mind right now. Yo know how it is.

Yours truly...

A lad in need of advice.

hi lad,

I'm sorry you had to learn the hard way that things rarely go perfectly when it comes to sex. I hope you still had fun!

it sounds like you really encountered a perfect storm of things than can cause erectile dysfunction: antidepressants, alcohol, and stress? in this economy?

the first thing to do is a little scientific research. do you have any difficulty getting and staying hard when it's just you? if everything goes smoothly when you masturbate, we probably don't need to worry too much about addressing the role antidepressants may have played here. if you have noticed any changes in your erections since going on antidepressants, it's worth bringing that up with your doctor and talking about potentially switching prescriptions to something that may come without the unwanted side effect. probably not the most fun conversation you'll ever have, but important! and trust me, any doctor writing prescriptions for antidepressants has had the erectile dysfunction conversation before.

the alcohol thing is easy: let's just try to avoid drinking in future situations where it looks like intimacy might be an option, yeah? or at least partake in moderation.

now, as for that pressure to perform: listen to me. listen. sex can be literally anything. tons of people have great sex without using a penis every day, for all kinds of reasons (no penis, don't like their penis, penis isn't cooperating, just not that into penetration, etc). and YOU can be one of them! I believe in you.

I know for cis men more than anyone the narrative around sex is that the penis is a 100% vital component 100% of the time, but you know better than that. you follow my blog, probably, which means that you know human bodies are a big sweaty mess of holes and erogenous zones and things that are good for touching other things, and all of that can be done in literally any combination you want as long as it feels good. your hands and your mouth are as important as your dick, and that's just the beginning. there are definitely people out there who will be equally of not more excited by other parts of your body.

which isn't to say that you can't or shouldn't use your dick, or that you're wrong for being disappointed about this. it's a bummer when things don't go the way you hoped! but. BUT. you know what takes a LOT of pressure off of Plan A? if you have a perfectly good Plan B lined up and ready to go. maybe even a Plan C. lots of people have a hard time showing up exactly the way they want during sex for a lot of reasons, and it can be devastating if you feel like you're blowing your only chance. knowing that you have other plans that will be just as good, just different, can be a huge relief.

you know what else helps? just telling your partner up front that Plan B might be necessary. (don't phrase it like that if you're having sex with someone who could get pregnant, they won't like that.) (Plan B is emergency contraceptive, for anyone confused by that last parenthetical.) I know this probably sounds even more daunting than talking to your doctor about your boners, but just get it out in the open. "hey, just so you know, I've had issues getting it up in the past. it doesn't mean I don't like you or that I don't want to have sex with you, I do! what do you want to do if that's off the table?"

the answer could be "copious amounts of oral" or it could be "let's snuggle and watch a nature documentaries." they could also be a dick about it, and if someone is a dick about your dick, it's time to leave. either way, you've leaned something useful about this person and can act on that information accordingly!

listen: the odds that this will happen every time you want to be having an erection are very slim, but (cruelly, ironically, etc) if you get too in your head about this and let it trip you up the next time you're in a sexy little situation, it's much more likely that you'll psyche yourself out too much to get hard. the best way to get less stressed about an erection really may be to just not care if you have one. let the unshakeable sexual confidence of someone with a foolproof backup plan fill you.

[siegelst]

people that don't have a uterus should stfu about not liking abortions.

[hopeless-lovex0]

I HAVE A DREAM (PART 14)

Kim Hongjoong Fanfic

Warning: Angst. Cheating. Heartbreak. Cursing. Fluff.

Hello fellow atiny’s and kpop stans 👋🏼 Part 14 of I Have A Dream is here and it's a roller coaster. For anyone confused by the timestamps, I'll give a brief explanation.

(Y/N left for 3 months which would be 3 months into her pregnancy. Ateez moves into the small village for a month and by the time they leave Y/N is already on her 4th month. Throughout her 4th month all the way to the start of her 8th she stayed in the village till finally she moved back to Seoul with her brother to spend her 8th month there till she finally entered her 9th month.)

It's all a little confusing but I hope you guys are still able to understand. With that explained I hope you guys like this weeks update, and I promise next weeks is gonna be wild 😉 Without further ado here's part 14 of IHAD

5 months later...

Various colorful lights and music played all around the city of Seoul, groups of people gathering all over the place. Multiple banners hanged all over the streets, some promoting different idols others promoting food or drinks.

In the middle of the bustling city stood a very pregnant woman, her big belly covered by a light pink thick sweater and black jacket. She waddled her ways towards a small cafe located a couple of ways away from her brother's apartment.

Y/N felt too exposed, the amount of people around her was way more than the people back in the village. To her that small village miles away was considered home, the small brick house holding so many meaningful memories in such a short time.

After the guys and her brother had left, Y/N continued her life as normal or as normal a 4-month pregnant woman could get. She continued to go to work, Mrs. Park pestering her 10x as much since she didn't have someone to care for her like her brother. She could take care of herself, but once in a while she missed her brother massaging her ankles, or wooyoung and Jongho trying their hardest to make her laugh.

In the time that they were gone, Y/N had managed to make more friends. She meet Kyung Mi’s girlfriend, the two of them complementing each other perfectly. She also meet the rest of Mrs. Park's family, Mr. Park accepting her into their comfortable home with open arms. She felt so at home with them and she honestly doesn't know how she'll be able to be away from them while in Seoul.

During her 6th month, Y/N made her way to Seoul to visit the hospital she was planning on giving birth in. She only stayed for a week, and that week was the best one in her life.

She reunited with the guys again, swarming her in a group hug the minute they visited her in her brother's apartment. They took her out to eat that day, as if they were celebrating something enormous. Thinking back on it now, she laughs at the memory.

She talked to each one of them whenever they could, San calling and texting her almost every night. Sometimes they would talk about meaningless things, other nights they would talk about their future. He asked her if she considered having more children after the first one, to which she answered just one more. She asked him if he ever wanted children, to which he answered 2.

Every question they asked each other seemed to compliment each others answer. San wanted a small wedding in his home town, something that Y/N encouraged. Y/N wanted a honeymoon in Venice, wanting to visit the Rialto Bridge. San fully supported her, agreeing that it was a beautiful destination.

In whatever one of them desired, the other one would agree 100% or have the same in common. It's as if destiny desperately said they belonged together, and slowly they started to believe they did.

After her visit, she went back home to the little village far away. She continued to daily routine, going to work and occasionally going to her clinic appointments. From her 4th month leading towards her 8th month, she stayed in the village with Mrs. Park and Kyung Mi both of them doing their best to help their pregnant friend.

After her third trimester came, Y/N and Mrs. Park started to pack her hospital bag. Mrs. Park packing tons of baby clothing, pink and blue for when Y/N finally figured out the baby's gender. They keep the bag in Mrs. Park’s car for when they both traveled back to Seoul.

When she entered her 8th month, they packed Y/N’s suitcase and started their commute to her brother's apartment. That's where she spent her whole 8th month until she finally entered her 9th month.

That's where she was now, 9 months pregnant and standing in front of a little cafe. Entering the dimly light establishment, Y/N quickly scanned the place before she finally found who she was looking for.

Walking up to the older woman, her back towards her Y/N brings up her hands and covers her eyes. “ Guess who~~~~” she sings out, the older woman letting out a small laugh in return. “ I could be wrong but are you perhaps my annoying daughter?” she says, causing Y/N to gasp out in fake shock.

“ ANNOYING!? If anyone is annoying its Youngji!” Y/N yells out, crossing her arms and pouting like a little kid. “ You are right about that, Youngji does take after your father.” Her mother says as she gets up her seat and grabs Y/N by her shoulders.

“ Let me take a good look at you, I haven't seen you since you moved away darling.” She says, giving Y/N a once over before bringing her in for a hug. “ Oh how much I missed you, my princess.” She mumbles into Y/N’s shoulder, having shoved her whole face in the crook of her neck.

Returning the hug as much as she can with her big belly, they both relish in the comfort of their embrace. “ I missed you too mom.” Y/N says, getting emotional over not seeing her mother for such a long time. “ I missed you more.” her mother mumbles back.

Pulling away, her mother leads her towards the opposite seat from hers. They both sit together in silence just reading the menu and then placing their order to the waiter walking by. Her mother examines her, the sight of her only daughter about to have a child of her own causing her to get choked up. “ How have you been? How’s my grandchild treating you?” She asks, watching as Y/N rubs the bottom of her swollen stomach.

“ They've been super active recently, I guess it's because I'm already close to my due date. I've been good as well, other than the swollen boobs and not being able to see my feet anymore everything else is going well.” Y/N chuckles out, her mother snickering at her in return. “ Oh honey I know exactly how you feel. Youngji and you were so hyper during my last month, I swear I thought you guys would be great soccer players in the future with how hard you guys would kick me.” She laughs out, Y/N smiling at her mothers carefree behavior.

“ How's Youngji by the way? I called him the other day to see if he could join us today but he never answered back.” Her mother asks, playing around with the fork in front of her. “ Youngji has been really busy lately. The company he works at is growing fast and they are keeping him busy since he is the best worker there. He also asked me to tell you that he's sorry he couldn't answer, and that he loves you.” Y/N says, leaning forward and grasping one of her mother's hand.

“ Oh my poor baby, they are probably working him down to the bones. I hope he takes a break soon, his friends as well.” Her mother says, eyebrows furrowed in worry for her son and his friends. After their little conversation, their food gets to them causing them to eat in a comfortable silence.

Halfway through their meal, Y/N’s phone pings with a notification. Quickly picking it up, she checks her phone and starts to giggle to herself typing out a quick response then putting it down after. “ Who was that, darling?” Her mother questions, her curiosity peeked once she saw the big smile on her daughter's face.

“ It was San, he wanted to let me know that he'll be busy with his group's promotion today and that he'll call me later tonight.” Y/N carelessly says, missing the questioned eyes her mother gives her. “ Are you guys a thing?” She questions, causing Y/N to choke on her drink water snorting out of her nose from the question she was just asked.

Patting her chest, she shakes her head furiously while a bright red blush creeps up her face. “ OF COURSE NOT MOTHER!!! What makes you think that?!” Y/N exclaims, fanning and patting her face to get rid of the hot feeling covering her entire face. “ You got a glow in your eyes when you mentioned him. I know because your grandfather used to get the same look too when he talked about your grandmother.” She says, watching as her daughter avoids her stare by playing around with her food.

“ I don't know what you mean by that. I don't love him mother.” Y/N snaps back, feeling way to vulnerable for her liking. “ I never said you loved him. I just asked if you guys were together.” Her mother quickly defends herself, Y/N still refusing to meet her eyes. “ I- I won't date him mother... ever.” Y/N mumbles out, appetite completely gone by that point.

“ You won't date him? Or is it more like you can't date him ?” She questions again, receiving silence in return. “ Baby.. Are you scared that whatever happened with Hongjoong will happen with San?” Her mother asks, reaching forwards and taking her daughter's hands in hers.

Swallowing down a lump rising up her throat, Y/N clears it before finally speaking. “ It would be different this time if that happened. I'm scared to open up my heart like that again. What if he gets tired of me like how Hongjoong did? I'm about to have a child, what if he decides that he doesn't want my kid because it's hongjoong’s and leaves me for someone else. I can't go through that again mom, I can't put my child through something like.” Y/N says, watching as her mother rubs soothing circles on her hands.

“ Oh my poor baby, that will not happen with San. You want to know how I know that..? Because from that single smile and glow in your eyes I see that San makes you twice if not more times happier than Hongjoong ever did. Don't think that because that good for nothing ex wasn't able to keep his dick in his pants that San will do it as well. From what your brother has been telling me, San is trying his best to gain your attention. Knowing that you're pregnant, but still trying to gain your love I'll say that he's already better than Hongjoong will ever be.” Her mother rants on, voice hardening when she mentions Hongjoong’s name.

“ You really think so mom...That someone like him would even look at me that way..?” Y/N questions, voice small with insecurity. Her mother lifts up her head to look at her, giving her a heartwarming smile. “ I know so baby. You deserve so much more than Hongjoong and I can tell that San can give you that. You just need to open up your heart darling, you'll regret it if you don't. That child that your carrying might not be his, but he still stuck around to take care of you and my grandchild. To me that's a real man, and that's exactly what you my darling daughter need. An amazing man to love you and your baby unconditionally.” Her mother continues on, watching as her daughter breaks out in a small smile.

Y/N shakes her head, smile stretching out more as her mother comforts her. “ How do you know what to say every time I'm feeling down?” she chuckles out, bringing her mothers hand up to her lips and kissing them.

“ Oh darling it comes with being a mother! You'll know once that little bundle of pure joy is born.” she laughs out, tapping her pointer finger on her daughter's head.

They both continue to chat throughout their lunch date, laughing and reminiscing on old memories they had while still living together. Her mother talked to her about the time she spent taking care of her and her brother, giving her tips on how to take care of a new born as well.

Sooner than later, their little lunch date came to an end. They both stood right in front of the cafe, bidding their goodbyes’s as well as her mother giving Y/N’s stomach a kiss. Walking her mother up to her car, they both bid each other one final goodbye before her mother finally drives away.

Turning the opposite way, Y/N begins to make her way to her brothers apartment.

Halfway through her journey, she started to feel small sharp pains start up towards her lower back. Y/N stopped walking for a second, placing a shaky hand on her abdomen rubbing it slightly. “ You really are ready to come out huh?” She whispers to herself, standing there for a couple more seconds before finally continuing her way back home.

Standing in front of her brothers apartment building, she bids the front desk person a hello then makes her way towards the elevators. Getting in the small space, she begins to ascend towards the 6th floor continuing to rub her abdomen lightly as she still feels some discomfort creeping up.

Arriving to her floor, she walks out the elevator and quickly makes it into the apartment. Closing the door, she carefully leans against it as another sharp pain strikes against her back. Feeling short of breath, Y/N makes her way towards the sofa and drops her entire body on it. The pain last for a couple more seconds before finally going away, her back tingling from the previous pain.

“ It's probably because I'm so close to my due date already.” Y/N mumbles out, staying on the sofa as she caresses her stomach, feeling the rise of her flesh due to the baby kicking more and more.

Struggling to get up, she grabs her phone and checks for any missed calls or messages but is meet with nothing. Usually around that time her brother will call her to make sure she had eaten, and San will usually text her but she's meet with neither of those things. She figures that her brother must be backed up in the company and that San is currently busy with the rest of ateez.

Dropping her phone on the sofa, she makes her way towards the kitchen to grab something to eat. Before she can even make it there, she gets a sharp pain on her lower abdomen the pain so intense it causes her to double over. Huffing out, she walks up to the dining table and drags a chair out fumbling with it for a couple seconds then finally sitting down.

She stays there as the pain continues to increase quickly, coming and going a couple more times. There's no way I'm having this baby now! I still have two weeks before they get here! Y/N panics in her mind, wincing when the pain only seems to increase more and more.

Turning her head towards the clock hanging over the stove, she notices that her brother doesn't get out for another 4 hours. Debating whether she should call him, another pain (which she now begins to think are contractions) shots through her back and towards her stomach. Nodding to herself, she stands up with shaky legs and makes her way towards the living room where she left her phone.

Halfway through making her way to the living room, a sharp pain more stronger than the others causes her to cry out. Hunching over, she pants out multiple times before she eventually notices the small puddle under her feet. Staring at it in panic, she realizes the severity of the situation and as fast as she can makes her way towards the sofa and snatches her phone laying on it.

As fast as her fingers can type, she immediately dials her brother's number only to meet with the voicemail option. Cursing out she continues to dial her brother 4 more times before finally giving up and dialing San instead.

She prays that he'll answer right away, but is meet with the same results. She lets out a small sob from how scared she is, then takes a deep breath in order to calm down her racing heart and shaking hands. Redialling San’s number, she's once again meet with the monotone voice requesting her to leave a voicemail.

Finally breaking down, she sobs into her hand from how fast everything is happening and all without help from someone she knows and trust. Giving up on calling her brother and San, she turns to the only other person who she knows will help her without a second thought.

Trembling fingers hurriedly press a serious of numbers on the phone, bringing up to her ear when she's done typing in the phone number. The other line rings two times, before a shocked voice answers the call.

“ H-Hello..? Y/N is this you..?” the person questions, voice cracking when they call out her name.

Y/N can only cry out once another contraction hits her, body curling in with pain.

“ Y/N?!?? ARE YOU OKAY?!” they question, mind on high alert the second Y/N cried out.

“ H-Hongjoong.. Where's San.?” she hisses out through clenched teeth, trying to hold in the rest of her cries.

“ SAN? San’s with the rest of the guys in the practice room. The manager made them stay extra hours for slacking off and took their phones away.” Hongjoong explains, getting up from his work chair and making his way towards the door of the dorms.

Hearing that, Y/N sobs out again both from pain and knowing that she can't depend on him in that moment.

“ Y/N..? Hello? Please tell me your okay?! Did you just call me to ask from San..?” he questions, waiting for Y/N to answer back.

“ Hongjoong please listen to me. I need your help right now. Can you pick me up from my brother's apartment? You know where Youngji lives right?” Y/N fires questions left and right, not giving Hongjoong time to question her.

“ CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!? WHY ARE YOU SUDDENLY ASKING ME TO PICK YOU UP?!” He screams out, mind all over the places from everything Y/N is throwing at him.

The line stays silent for a couple of seconds and Hongjoong is about to apologize in case Y/N got mad at him for screaming at her. Before he can even open his mouth, Y/N screams back at him. The words she utters out causing Hongjoong to freeze in shock.

“ MY WATER JUST BROKE ASSHOLE! NOW CAN YOU PLEASE PICK ME UP CUZ I REALLY DON’T WANT TO GIVE BIRTH ON A DIRTY OLD CARPET!” she screams out, wincing after when a contraction hits.

“ W-what...?” Hongjoong whisper out, soul completely leaving his body.

“ The baby is.. Coming..?”

[keepingupwithfundies]

Couple of things. First, we post pretty much every ask we get eventually, so it's silly to say your views aren't welcome and you can't share them. See: me answering this ask on a very cold Wednesday night when I could be drinking whiskey and watching The Good Place.

Second, if I get a submission or ask, and I answer it, I say something about it generally. Ew could have probably been elaborated upon, but honestly, it sums up my reaction pretty well.

Third, I'm not discussing a political party or movement, I'm addressing reproductive rights, a consistent topic here, given the fundie position on the same.

Fourth, excuse me if I question your intentions here, but like, do you even go here? I'm sort of questioning if you're even a regular follower or just someone who wants to cause issues, given that you refer to it as "Masie's" quote and anyone who has been on this page for any real amount of time would refer to her as Laura DeMasie, or Laura, or MAYBE DeMasie, but like, definitely not the part of her name that happens to show up in her Insta handle.

Fifth, did I happen to miss Laura's obvious cares for racial reconciliation and supporting and listening to the needs of the PoC community? Because surely, she must post about racism all the time and have a deep background in the history of race in America if shes going to be confident enough, as a white Christian woman in America, to compare the subjugation, sexual assault, murder, violence, slavery, and oppression of millions of people for hundreds of years with her own pet issue and... oh, no, no she doesn't have any of that. She appropriated an issue she can barely begin to understand to rail against abortion.

Oh, and she called women who get abortions selfish because they do it because it gets in the way of their desires. Please. Women get abortions for SO many reasons, including domestic violence, rape, health, finances, poverty, unstable housing, and yes, sometimes because they have goals that don't involve children. But does Laura acknowledge any of that nuance? No. She equates a 13 year old who is pregnant by rape as the same level of "selfish" as a 30 year old who aborts a child who has stable housing and finances. Now, let me be clear - I personally 100% believe that any woman should be able to make their own reproductive decisions for any reason they deem acceptable to themselves without government interference. And I certainly wouldn't call them *selfish* for making any decision. But the fact that Laura didn't even CONSIDER the different circumstances of women (or more inclusively, anyone who can get pregnant) having abortions and decided to say it was ALL selfishness gives you a sense of actually how much time she has devoted to *any* deep thought on this incredibly sensitive, personal issue.

Finally, I'd like to know what Laura personally does for the thousands of children born in her own state each year without sufficient food, medicine, shelter, clothing, and other needs. Is she out there advocating for health care for those kids? Working at food banks? Providing mentoring and tutoring? She has the judgment. Does she have any actual means to help lower or reduce the abortion rate or help the kids who are already born and struggling?

In summary, I stand by my "ew".

- Mary