#when she used to have bowl heaters when her wife was alive

[gisachi]

Prompt 17 sounds good for ShinRan 🤭

Thank you for waiting! Another serving of soft ShinRan coming right up! Hope this is good enough for you, Anon. Much love. 💙

17. Tucking their hands beneath the other person’s shirt, just to watch them break the kiss and gasp in surprise at the sensation of cold/warm hands on their skin. (1,287 words)

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Contrary to what others might think, working with the FBI to defeat an underground organization while still in his prime did not make Shinichi feel invincible. What it succeeded in doing though, was screw him up and distort his idea of normal.

It’s a decision he purposely chose, remembering the day he went after a suspicious man in black after his date in Tropical Land. Nothing, however, could’ve ever prepared him for the damnifying consequences that followed. Before he knew it, he was thrown into an arena meant for adults, while still being a teenager. Suddenly, there were so many people to distrust, so many secrets to keep, so many days waking up full of dread, uncertain who among his loved ones had been taken while he’s asleep—like he was living straight out of a film.

As young as he was then, he coped by expecting the worst in every scenario. Not at all the healthiest mechanism, but the most realistic. It’s not like he was given much of a choice anyway. ‘We’re alive because we have plans ready when things turn extreme south,’ Akai-san used to say. And he’s right. Plotting plans after plans for every situation ranging from bad to worst, saving his or another ally’s death as the last probable option. That’s the best—at the same time worst—he could do, in a reality he had to accept.

He survives, but that doesn’t mean the nightmares end there. He brings them with him, in his mind, crippling his ability to think like a normal person, because he’s so used to being not.

That’s why when things fall into the right place, instead of actually feeling fortunate, he’s just...appalled. Like this right here isn’t supposed to happen, because his mind says so. This isn’t normal. His normal.

It’s sad, how he’s gotten so used to rejecting the idea of a good outcome that when it actually happens, he refuses to take it. He has prepared himself so much for the bad days to the point that he forgets how to act when a day in his life actually isn’t.

Like right now.

He wakes up to gloomy skies outside.

Surprised why he isn’t freezing when he’s barenaked, he notices that the heater’s been turned on. He looks at the space beside him. No one’s there.

The silence and empty sheets only serve to trigger dreams he used to have, those which never ended well. Has she left? Where has she gone? Did she leave on her own? Who took her? Is she alive?

Putting on his boxers and house pants he finds scattered near his feet, he anxiously goes out the bedroom, only for the sound of clanging utensils and the aroma of pancakes filling his senses.

Anyone who isn’t Shinichi would’ve calmed down at this point. But he is Shinichi, and if there’s another takeaway he picked up from his ridiculous past, it’s that the most seemingly normal situations are the situations he needs to put his guard up the highest. So he inhales deeply and walks, footfalls as quiet as his breathing.

Yet for some inexplicable reason, the closer he gets to the source, the more his muscles relax. This is...new. Akai-san and Jodie-sensei didn’t teach him any alternative to thinking of the worst in every situation. It’s always ‘put your guard up’. They didn’t talk about gut feelings; their plans were always backed by logic.

Perhaps that feeling cannot be taught. Because right now, there’s no plan. Walking on tiptoes is hardly a plan. He’s bare and defenseless, nothing but him and his gut feel, telling him not to worry.

And he trusts it.

Standing there behind the kitchen island is her, back facing him, faintly humming a tune he doesn’t understand but still a melody to his ears. She looks so beautiful wearing his shirt, a little too oversized for her, hair tied up in a messy bun. She doesn’t seem to notice his presence as she continues whisking the batter before pouring some into the pan. Two plates with one pancake each rest on the kitchen island beside a bottle of honey syrup and some bowl of fruits, and apart from the pancakes is the aroma of brewing coffee.

Shinichi blinks, unable to take his eyes off of what he’s seeing because he’s almost unsure if this is real. Even his dreams don’t show anything of this sort. When has this all started again? How long has he been living like this?

Everything’s so... domestic. So peaceful. So right.

Makes him feel like he’s never gone through anything ugly in his life.

Acting on pure impulse, he approaches her, snakes his arms around her waist, placing his chin on her shoulder. She, on the other hand, welcomes the sudden intrusion, head tilting sideways to rest against his.

“Hey.”

“Shinichi? You’re already awake.”

“I love you.”

For sure she isn’t expecting anything like that from him this early. If any, she might’ve thought something was up. She turns her head enough to see his face, eyes filled with gentle wonder.

“You’re so odd.” Ran touches his cheek, staining him with pancake batter from her fingers as she brushes his skin with her thumb.

“I love you,” he repeats, like his vocal cords are designed to say just this. Because he really does. He never wants her away.

Planting a chaste kiss on his lips, she says, softly, “I love you, too.”

His past self and past experience would’ve never allowed him to dream of a day like this to come.

Yet here he is.

And here they are.

Delicately, he spins her around to give her a more proper kiss, unmindful of the spatula she still holds and the half-cooked pancake behind them. Ran is okay, she always is, and she’s in his house, cooking for them. She isn’t a dream. She’s right here, in his arms, kissing him. Nothing was wrong.

And he’s always forgetting how this isn’t new. He’s been with Ran for months, for years, and since the fall of the organization his family, his loved ones, his Ran, they’re all safe. Nothing is wrong.

The past is done and over with. It’s time he breathes again, like the normal guy that he is in a normal world he deserves to live in, sharing a normal life with his future wife. Nothing will ever be wrong.

Because that’s truly how it should be.

With his emotions heightening, Shinichi’s arms around her tighten, eliminating the littlest space there is between them. Their kiss deepening by fractions, he finds himself tucking his hands under her shirt - his shirt - only for her to jolt, separating their lips with a soft sound.

“Your hands are so cold,” she gasps.

‘Yeah, because apart from waking up cold, I woke up with you gone.’

‘I got paranoid. It happens sometimes.’

‘It’s probably the trauma.’

“And you’re so warm. I could hug you all day,” is what he says instead.

Ran plays with his hair, stares at his azures with so much love and affection, warmth of her flesh thawing his frigid body.

“It’s snowing outside, Shinichi. That’s why you’re so cold.”

Whether or not she knows what’s going through his mind, the way she says this so calmly, so reassuringly, is enough to make every tense fiber in his being relax, enough to make him forget why he’s thinking like this in the first place. His expression softens, curve pulling up his lips.

“Yes, that’s why.”

With a final sigh into her lips, he asks, “Back to bed after breakfast?”

She smiles, kisses him fondly. “Sure.”

Shinichi would’ve never dreamt of a day like this to come, but here he is. And here they are.

Happy, contented.

Normal.

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[myrainydayloves]

On The Idea of Farms and Family

In which I post the longest fic I’ve ever written. It’s long ya’ll.

In which the gang visits old friends and are forced to help out with the up coming harvest. Featuring: family drama, a taste of angst, hurt and comfort, and more honey than most people could handle. Also featuring @blackquills-wife and her husband Klaus.

Rated T because swearing

The excitement was keeping her up. Tossing and turning as if to warm up for the long day of play tomorrow. Their family and friends were all coming to help harvest honey and fruit and vegetables then sitting down for a feast of fresh cooked food. Zed had been watching her prepare for weeks, making gallons of ice cream, ordering an entire cow from the butcher, setting aside the best ingredients, picking the most beautiful flowers, and cleaning endlessly. 

All with the widest smile on her face. 

Zed could still see the smile even under the bags under her eyes. And now she turned to him and blushed. 

“Have I been keeping you awake? I’m so sorry!” She whispered over the sound of crickets and rustling trees. 

“No, no, Annaka.” He said her name with such reverence, like just letting the syllables out would cause the mountains to move and the sky to break out in rain. “I was just thinking about how I don’t deserve you.”

And he didn’t, or so he thought. He wasn’t human like the rest of them. Zed couldn’t even help on the massive garden they planted for too long without becoming dehydrated and needing a shower. A real human could have tilled along side her, wiping the mud from her cheek-

“Not this again,” she groaned. “Zed, My Prince, I don’t deserve you! You’re the most wonderful person alive! Literally in the whole world! I adore you.”

“Ah But-“

Annaka silenced him with a kiss. “Please. You are my true love. If it’s your personality? You are my match in both art and books, outwitting me without demeaning me. You create comparisons I could never think of. I’m in awe of your brain. And of how you selflessly help others! I fell in love with you all over again when you just donated all your treasured books to the library after it burnt down. No thoughts. Just gave them to the town. And don’t get me started on your looks…”

A single finger traced down his chest and if he was able to get goosebumps, he would have them by now. She let her fingertips roll over his chest, tracing every scar with the wonder of someone discovering stars for the first time. The scent of honeysuckle blossoms from her conditioner filled his lungs as her hair curtained around them when she leaned in for another kiss. 

“Annaka…”

As they laid quietly, pondering their love, Zed slowly moved into kiss her when-

“HEY YOU’D BETTER NOT BE DEEP SEA DIVING IN THERE!!”

A Zapp of electricity killed the mood. 

“Son of a bitch……” she cursed. “You know what? Fuck it, let him hear. I want you-“

“I KNOW YOU’RE AWAKE, ANNAKA!!” Zapp cried again from outside their front gate, banging on the wood. 

“Fucking asshole, WHY ARE YOU HERE!!! I DON’T NEED YOUR HELP UNTIL TOMORROW MORNING, YOU STUPID BASTARD!!!”

“YOU FREAKIN INGRATE!!! KLAUS FIGURED YOU WOULD WANT US HERE WHILE THE BEES WERE ASLEEP!!”

“BEES DON’T SLEEP, ASSHAT-you know what? I’m just gonna frickin’ kill him. I’m just gonna chop his head off and use it for fertilizer. I’m just gonna-“ 

Annaka continued to whisper the other gruesome ways she planned on murdering her brother as she put on her robe. Even when she slammed the door to their room closed and walked towards the front gate, Zed could hear them screaming at each other. 

Family, huh? Were all families like this?

God he certainly hoped not. 

—

Annaka flung open the front gate, nearly smacking her brother in the face with it as it swung out. The Libra team stood happily, but sleepily, in front of her with Klaus already in his beesuit. 

After momentarily wondering where he could have found one that fit his colossal frame, Annaka turned to glare at her brother. All the excitement and joy she had been holding to see him vanished and she was right back to wondering how satisfying it would be to make him eat dirt. 

“Sorry to get here so early,” Mary apologized. “I hope we didn’t wake you up too bad.”

Zapp scoffed. “Oh she was up. And so was fishcake, showing her all the ways it can bend-OW!”

With a soft shimmer, Chain appeared on top of Zapp’s head, still in her jammies. Over the chorus of pained cries from her brother, she asked. “Do you have coffee?”

“Seconded,” Stephan grumbling, still wearing a suit despite the farmwork to come. 

“I’m sure Zed’s already got a pot going. Where’s Leo?”

“Still asleep in the back,” Mary said with a small smile. “He was navigating for us up until about an hour ago when he passed out.”

“Poor thing,” Annaka cooed. “I hope he didn’t wear himself out too bad.”

“He’s so adorable when he’s sleeping, reminds me of my boys,” KK cooed, heaving the sleeping boy over her shoulder like he was a naughty fat cat. 

After a few more greetings, Annaka guided them through the walled front yard. It was done in an almost perfect replica of Master’s old training ground. Everything from the rocks to the meticulously maintained meditation spiral. Zed often trained on rainy days or when there wasn’t much farming to do. Just the memories of watching his smooth graceful movements brought the smile back to her face. 

“This is lovely,” Mary cooed, taken with the koi pond. “Oh my! These koi patterns are beautiful!”

“Thank you, Zed likes to care for them. And they adore him.”

“Glad to see they can recognize family,” Zapp scoffed. 

Annaka punched him in the gut so hard that he fell to the ground looking for air. All without moving a single hair out of place. She smiled brightly. 

“How do you like that, bro? He’s been teaching me some moves.”

“Hate it, thanks,” he groaned from his human puddle on the ground. 

The group stepped over him and they entered the home. It was a relatively small living space. There were only a few rooms: a dining or maybe living area, the door to the main bedroom, and the tank room. They passed through the living space, stopping to set the exhausted Leo on the couch to sleep, and into the garden.

What Annaka liked to call her Garden of Eden.

Flowers bloomed from very vine, fruit swung heavy from trees, vegetables seemed to pop out of the ground to say hello. A stone fountain stood off to the side, water trickling over rocks and down into a stream the feed into the garden. 

“Ah that’s the irrigation system!” Annaka exclaimed. “We pumped it from a near by river and then let it fall over the Stone Mountain to aerate it, and then it flows to specific parts of the garden from the bowl here! Zed designed it! Isn’t it beautiful! Oh...the afternoons I spend in the hammock, listening to the water splash over the rocks...My Prince…”

“You’re still so cute, Anna,” Mary cooed. 

The girls held hands and gazed into the night sky together. 

“Oh Mary, oh KK! I understand how wonderful it is to be married!”

“Yes yes! My Klaus and I are just as happy as you two! Oh joy-“

“Why the frick are we here if this is the whole garden.”

And all the joy was Zapped out of the air again.

Annaka broke from Mary and turned to him. “This is just my private Garden of Eden. Our real farm is acres big.”

“Ah! You’re here! Zapp, the wood got wet from last night, will you come light it?” 

They turned to see Zed poking his head out of the window of an extremely small cottage. Annaka quickly explained that because they burn things like cornstalks and wheat stalks, things tend to get pretty smokey so they built the rooms housing the kitchen and subsequently the heater outside. 

“Course they got wet from your gills touchin’ em, Ariel!” Zapp spat, making his way to the kitchen without complaint. 

She continued to lead the rest of them on a tour, showing them the outdoor shower, her lovingly carved wooden platewear, her huge marble bathtub, and finally the tank room

Their bedroom was plain save the aquarium tank in the middle, except for, of course, the depictions Of Annaka in so many mediums. An oil painting of her artfully sleeping on the bed, a photo of her playing in the tulips, poems framed and hung on walls, sketches of her working in the yard. It was a shrine to her as much as it was also a bedroom. 

“Oh my, this feels…” Stephan stopped himself before he said, ‘fucking weird’.

Mary finished his sentence.  “So very intimate.” She said this over the sound of KK silently weeping and taking photos to send back to her husband. 

“Ah, Yeah,” Annaka responded, trying to shove them out the door while protecting the blush on her cheeks. “He’s certainly added more since I was last in here….” 

By then, Zed was calling them back for coffee served with the hint sunrise. Annaka pushed past Zapp into the kitchen to quickly throw together a decent breakfast, ordering the boys to go set the table under in the gazebo.

—

“Zed! How are you?” Mary cried when she saw him, wrapping him in a hug. 

“Happy, I would say,” he answered, setting plates on the table. “Very happy.”

Stephan couldn’t help a playful, “Yeah, we saw your art room.”

“And it was great! Your dedication to your young wife! Your adoration of her!” KK pressed her hands to her cheeks. “I’ve never seen anything like it! You’re so deeply in love.”

“Ewww gross, you like my siste-“ 

THUMP.

Zapp clutched the back of his head and cried, “HOW THE FUCK DID YOU HIT ME FROM THE KITCHEN! THE MASTER SHOULD HAVE TRAINED YOU FOR THE FRICKING ALLSTARS!!”

“COME HELP ME CARRY THESE DISHES, YOU AWFUL WORM!”

“I’M NOT YOUR SLAVE!! GET YOUR OWN-OW!!!! THAT’S IT!!! I’M ABOUT TO COME GIVE YOU A NOOGIE LIKE YOU’D NEVER BELIEVE!”

“AFTER YOU HELP ME CARRY BREAKFAST!!”

“F I N E!!”

Zapp trudged off to help with breakfast instead of continuing to insult Zed, who sat down at the newly set table. 

Klaus leaned in, still in full bee suit and asked, “So when are we going to get the honey? We should get it before the bees wake up, correct? We don’t want to disturb them.”

“Honey, they don’t sleep,” Mary cooed, petting him. “Don’t worry, the bees are excited to meet you too.”

“What is on the docket though? Assuming it’s not just twelve straight, uninterrupted hours of Annaka and Zapp screaming at each other,” Stephan asked. 

“I think it’s sweet, in a family way,” Gilbert said, sipping the coffee from his mug and finding that it tasted distinctly of chocolate and cinnamon. 

Chain huffed. “I do need my hearing to work, you know.”

Klaus smiled quietly, pulling Mary a bit closer. “My siblings and I never really fought. It’s nice to see how a normal family gets along.”

“Nothing about the Renfro’s is normal,” Stephan mocked in good fun. 

“Here, here,” everyone cheered, clinking coffee mugs with a laugh. 

The siblings in question returned holding breakfast, setting plates upon plates of home friends potatoes that smelled like garlic and spices, thick slabs of pepper crusted bacon, farm fresh eggs still sizzling on a large pan, and loafs upon loafs of bread. (I know it’s loaves but loafs is more pleasing to the mouth) All served with fresh butter and cherry jam. 

Without so much as a “Thanks for the food” the table descended on the breakfast like ravenous wolves. But the sound of silence is the highest compliment you can pay to food, sans pointing at things with your fork and going “mmm!!!”

Annaka kissed Zed when she sat down next to him and fixed him a plate like she’s done every day since they moved here. Without fail, she got up and cooked him a little something, even if it was just roasting some bread, before going back to bed. 

His heart soared when she drank the coffee he poured for her and she hummed, shoulders dropping and back relaxing. 

“Tastes goood buuuut-“ his heart plummeted until she stole his mug and took a big gulp. “That one tastes better.”

KK screamed with delight as he blushed. With that, the table broke into conversation about the harvest, about work, about life in general as the sun lazily crept up the side of the sky. Soon, the farm cats and dogs arose to work: scared off pests and chasing chickens out into the field before coming to beg for scraps at the table. 

All to soon, breakfast was over and the day was set to start. Annaka commanded them like soldiers off to cut down men instead of fruit. She, Klaus, and Mary were on honey duties. Chain and Stephan on fetching fresh water and mushrooms from the forest(she added a small wink at Chain). KK and Gilbert on fruit trees. And finally Zapp and Zed vegetables.

“Why are you giving me the dirty work?” Zapp complained. 

“With your abilities, you’ll be able to harvest the veggies in no time. And take extreme care not to hurt my melons! There are a lot this year and if we harvest them all now, we’ll be eating melon for every meal for a week.”

“K, I heard the first time you old hag.”

“Shut up and go pick my veggies.”

—

To say Klaus was buzzing with excitement was an understatement. He was floating off the ground as Annaka suited up and suited Mary up. 

“You look like the cutest marshmallow,” He cooed.

“Awww and you look like a big white polar bear!” 

Mary had been listening to Klaus talk about bees for a solid month and she loved her husband. But she was ready for a different topic. Despite this, she was practically drunk off his happiness. Fluttering around him like a worker bee did flowers. 

“Okay, let’s go get some frames, boys,” Annaka said, slamming the door to her workshop shut. Despite the door being closed she could still smell the uncapped gasoline and paint Annaka kept in there. Family tradition, she insisted. 

Mary questioned why Annaka was dragging such a huge wagon behind them until the hives came into view. There must have been two dozen hives, all four frames tall, standing in the field. 

After motioning them over, Annaka pried the box lid off and a swarm of bees greeted them. Worker bees buzzed around them for a bit before recognizing Klaus and Mary’s non threatening auras and settling into the box. 

“Now, we’re gonna take the top two boxes of each frame. Bottom two are for the babies and where the drones sex up the Queen. Oh-look! Her highness came to say hello!”

A bee the size of Mary’s thumb buzzed up to gently bonk Klaus and Mary’s hats as if to knight them before returning to her chambers. 

“Better back off my Klaus,” Mary jokes. 

Klaus turned to her. “I understand you’re joking but I want you to know that despite my excitement for the bees, you are equally if not more important to me right now. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

They shared a romantic gaze over the soundtrack of Annaka heaving and groaning over the weight of the supers. 

“It’s like 30 pounds a super!” Annaka cried. 

Klaus hugged Mary. “You are my beautiful wife.”

“Oof! These boys are thicc with honey!”

“And you my beautiful husband,” Mary whispered back. 

“Fucking! Sticky and heavy! What a combo!” She heaved, setting the first super in the box. 

The shlop sound of the sticky honey hitting the metal wagon was enough to jar them out of their love. Soon the work began, filling the wagon with four dozen 25 pound supers all filled with honey. 

“And here’s why I need Klaus. This wagon is now nearly 15 hundred pounds. Can you move it for me?”

Like he was pushing a feather, Klaus began to tug the wagon to the shop. 

Mary nearly choked on the smell of the workshop again, all deadly fumes pouring into her nose. Luckily, Annaka quickly dragged the extractor out to them and set up rather quickly, blissfully closing the door to what would knock out a normal person. 

“Okay so we put the frames in the extractor like thiiis. Then you close it. And you spin it,” Annaka taught to Klaus.

“Ah, for how long?”

“Eight to ten minutes for each side. So twenty minutes total.”

The couple stood shocked as she continued to spin it. Despite the agonizingly long time they had spinning that thing to look forward to, Annaka was still smiling. 

Must be the paint fumes, Mary mused silently. 

———

“Another break, Flounder?” Zapp asked, pulling up another arm full of carrots. “Why the fuck are there so many carrots?”

“Lots...of people...who juice,” Zed explained pouring water over his drying skin. “Ahh.”

Zapp stabbed his shovel into the earth, a satisfying thunk mixed with pebbles crushed. His designer jacket wrapped around his waist as he glared at Zed. It was like a cheetah who’s spotted a bird just close enough to take a swipe at. 

“We’re not gonna get anything done with you gasping like a fish on land. Did you really make my little sister do this all by herself, blowfish?”

A stabbed remark that hit so close to Zed’s heart, he felt it break. 

“I-“

Zapp crosses his arms. “Because if I find out my sister was slaving away in this heat while you played Southern Belle on the porch all day, I’m gonna be seriously pissed.”

“My skin gets dry. I-I over-heat because I don’t sweat. She agrees-“

“So you did huh? You just wanted to mooch of my sister’s hard work?”

Zed’s head sunk. He wished he could drown in the shame but...gills. For the life of him, he could not fight Zapp on this. A difficult silence fell between them. 

If only Annaka was here to explain. Or was he relying on her too much? Maybe he was a burden to her. Just a freak show she had to love because she was afraid no one else would love her. Was he taking advantage of her?

He stood up quickly. “I need to go sleep.”

“Sure, sure,” Zapp said flippantly. “Useless crustacean.” 

The tank room was a safe place for him. A place he could still be surrounded by his wife but also be alone to think and meditate. 

Zapp was good at getting under people’s skin. A talent Annaka shared but tried desperately to keep under control. Two siblings alike in more ways than one, he sighed. 

Just as he settled in to sleep, the door opened again, revealing a very sleepy Leo rubbing his eyes. “How long was I out? Is there still coffee?”

“Ah, yes. You can reheat it in the microwave, our stove is rather difficult to use for first timers.”

“Cool.” The door closed halfway before it opened again. “Wait, why are you in here?”

Because Zapp hurt my feelings-

“Just grabbing some air...well water.”

“Okay! I’ll catch you outside!”

“Ah Wait! Leo…” Zapp looked down at the lights on his tank. “Do you think...Annaka...that I’m good enough for her?”

A snort. “Of course, dude. She loves you like...so much. Even when you two were back at the office, she totally loved you. Don’t worry about it.”

“....thank you.”

“Course man.”

———————

Hours later, and I do mean hours, the honey was collected in a couple hundred or so jars. Annaka smiled at Mary, who wanted her arms to fall over, and Klaus, who also wanted his arms to fall off but was more than willing to catch Mary’s arms as well. In a box, she selected a few dozen jars and motioned for them to follow her back up the hill. 

“You guys did great for your first time! I won’t make you deal with the beeswax cleaning,” Annaka chirped. “And you’re welcome to take home as many jars as you want!”

Klaus’s eyes lit up. “Really?”

“Mhm! They make great gifts! I’ll even give you some of the tiny leftover bottles from the wedding!”

“Thank you!”

“Of course! I’m just glad we got all the supers back on! You both looked be-“

“HEY!! WHAT’S THE WIFI PASSWORD!!”

“IT’S ON THE DOOR!!”

“THANKS.”

Annaka turned back with a small sigh. “Anyways! I just wanted-“

“YEAH ANNAKA, LEO’S HUNGRY!”

The was a barely audible, “I didn’t say that!”

“And off we go to make lunch,” she muttered. “Sorry, Klaus will you carry these jars up for me? I’ll run ahead and get dinner started.”

Without waiting to hear his response, she dumped the box full of jars of honey into his weeping arms. It was like she just placed the world in his aching arms and he was barely able to keep from collapsing out of exhaustion. He stared blankly at the hill in front of him as Annaka scrambled up it. 

She walked into the kitchen to start the fire and found a Leo already trying to light the cornstalks. “Ahh, thank you, Leo. What would you like for lunch?”

To answer her, his stomach growled like tiger, shaking both of them. Annaka nodded with a soft ‘I see’ and shooed him to wash up as Zapp had undoubtedly thrown mud at him while they pulled up veggies. Suspiciously missing though, was her husband. 

Another growl for Leo’s stomach heard across the yard made it clear the matter could wait. 

Quickly, she whipped up some simple burgers with a side salad and potatoes wedges and carried them out to the gazebo where her brother sat looking through her vines of flowers and out into the valley. 

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” She asked. 

He didn’t turn to look at her. “Yeah…”

“Hey Big Bro?”

“Yeah, Zipp?”

Clicking her tongue at her embarrassing childhood nickname but letting the matter drop, Annaka said, “Thanks for coming. It really means a lot to see you here.”

Leo sat at the table and practically swallowed a burger whole, which somehow did not break the moment. After chugging down the fresh juice Annaka squeezed, he said, “He’s been working hard all month-“

“Can it, pubes,” Zapp snapped, glaring at him. 

Leo only smiled back. “What don’t want your sister to find out you trained all those newbies to watch the city just so you could be here? You should have seen him! We hit a new record, only three deaths this month thanks to this gu-“

“I said, can it!” He stuffed a burger into the younger boy’s mouth before slowly making his own burger. Zapp ignored the happy eyes Annaka was giving him in favor of artfully making a mess. 

“Zapp…”

“Annaka.” The use of her name brought her to full attention as he began looking out into the valley again. “Are you happy here? The middle of nowhere, hard physical labor, and fish brains? Mom and Dad said they’d be happy to have you back home and Master said he could use an extra hand with the new-“

“I would not trade this for anything,” she whispered. “With all due respect to Master and with a due swear words and insults to mom and dad. I am...so...so happy here.”

“But it’s hard!” Zapp snapped, losing all the teasing that usually kept him distant from others. Slamming his fist on the table, he cried. “It’s hard right?! You work your ass off and what can Zed even do around here? You always work so hard and make me look bad! And you found someone who actually loves you verse-“

He closed his mouth and twenty some odd years of emotional distress poured onto the table like spilled fresh squeezed juice. Jealousy was a rotten thing that spoiled all the fruit and vegetables. It crept into a person and decomposed someone from the inside out. 

“Oh!!! Is that Klaus I hear calling me!?” Leo asked as he stuffed burgers into his arms. “Bye!!”

A few moments passed before Annaka spoke, “Remember when we were kids and one of the caster kids tried to bury me alive at some conference. I bled out so much but I couldn’t get the boulders off me. Then, you came and rescued me, took me to the hospital, and then put that kid in the hospital bed next to me?”

“Heh, yeah. Fuck that kid,” Zapp said. 

“That night his dad came to visit us in the hospital. He gave me a bunch of flowers then pulled the curtain around that kid. I..” Annaka looked down. “He hurt his son. Broke a bone, I think.”

“Always knew that guy was bad news,” Zapp mused. 

She laughed, wine chimes rustled in the breeze, and she said, “That’s when I knew I wanted to help people. I wanted to keep them safe-“

“Yeah, I know. You’re moral and upstanding, I should be more like you-“

“Wait,” she said and the pond stilled at her words. Her brother looked up, all the same mess of white hair and stupid face he’d always had and she smiled at him. 

“You help people too, Zapp. We’re alike in more ways than one.”

“No, I don’t...I ruin everything. Ask anyone. You come and you clean up my messes and everyone loves you.”

“That’s because people can’t see past arbitrary values of morality. You sleep around and you drink and you smoke so you must be a bad person. I donate time and money to people so I must be a good person. Neither is true. Those who know you, who really know you, know that you are a kind person at heart. They know you struggle with vulnerability and are willing and able to understand you through your actions.”

She beamed at him. “Everyone loves you, Zapp. And how could they not?”

For the first time in a long time, Zapp felt tears running down his face. Honest tears of relief and of understanding fell from his eyes. His sister crossed the table and hugged him. 

“You’re the best big brother anyone could ask for, Zapp.”

And then he wept.

—————

Zed didn’t fall asleep. He floated there for hours, watching the water pump onto the small fountain in his room. Next to it was a small piece of marble he’d been carving to go on top for a while. It was going to Annaka, skirt all flared out and happy as the water shot up around her like the did in the city. 

He sighed and stared up at the ceiling again. Maybe a bit of training would help? Just to be angry? 

But he hadn’t felt anger at anyone since he moved here. Anger at things sure. Bees that stung me, fruit trees that dropped fruit on his head, and animals he caught eating their plants but not people. Not Annaka.

Not even Zapp. 

His door opened to reveal the man in question still smirking like he hadn’t been crying his eyes out. “Hey, sea urchin.”

“Hello, Zapp.”

The other man pulled a chair up to the tank and stared at the painting and poems and drawings of Annaka that covered the walls. Zed’s stomach churned in fear when he was finally looked at but Zapp only sighed. 

“It has come to my attention,” he said dramatically. “That I might have been too hard on you.”

“Is that an apology?”

“No, god no, of course not,” Zapp scoffed. “But...looking at all these...uhh...all this Annaka stuff...you still don’t think you’re good enough for her?”

Zed paused before sighing again. “No.”

“Well, man up and start thinking you do. Even if you have to fake it, she choose you and you’re stuck with her now.” 

With that, Zapp set the chair back and waved to him over his shoulder.

“...I thought you hated me..”

“Nah...I...you’re good by me.”

“Well you certainly don’t act like it,” Zed pouted. 

Zapp laughed and leaned against the door. “So?”

“I would like your approval to be with your sister. You’re Real approval without Annaka holding a gun to your head.”

They both shivered remembering how that day went. 

“Look dude, am I the one married to you? Do I suck your dick at night?”

“Vulgar.”

“But if you need my approval to sleep at night,” Zapp sighed, lighting a cigar and taking a long breath. After exhaling, he said, “Yeah you got it.”

They stayed like that for a second, Zed drying himself off and Zapp smoking under the watchful frozen eyes of many Annakas. Together they walked back out into the garden where all their friends laughing and talking with Annaka, surrounded by flowers and good food. 

She smiled at them, pushing at each other still, and said, “Hey.”

[chasingafterthesilverstars]

02. Confrontation.

6:16 PM

The call was cut short, disconnected abruptly, right after his mother broke the sudden new of his missing aunt. Vexed, he pressed to call his mother again, but the line couldn’t went through. His calls goes straight to miss called. Baekhyun tried to call his mother again, for couple of times but it was still futile.

Leaving him no other option, he texted his mother that he’ll be on his way, so she better used the remaining time to soothe down. As much as he tried to tune down his anger towards his mother regarding their last fight, he couldn’t. Somehow, he really want to put all the blame on his mother. Including his aunt Rosary that suddenly went missing.

It was habitual, if aunt Rosary was gone through the thin air, no news or call to inform of her whereabouts. It had been years, approximately three since her divorce with her ex-husband, and it probably had took a lot upon her. So, since his mother aren’t the smartest person in the world, she could slips out for most of her times. And it was hurtful. There’s truths bury somewhere in her sentences, but often times, she blurts out things based on her rational thoughts. Her own logic, her understanding regarding the whole situation. She make a conclusion, and pull the bullet straight to your lung, finishing you off right away.

Twice, aunt Rosary went missing because of her potty mouthed. One time, it was during the family dinner. Years ago. A week after the divorce been filed in, and Baekhyun’s father was still alive. Baekhyun was at the blooming age of seventeen, when her mother, drunk off of her wits and spits fires to everyone presence. Including her own husband. She called him useless pest who couldn’t swallow down his misery and aunt Rosary a sodding bitch. Baekhyun’s face has been flushed deep, angered and ashamed. Yet, he couldn’t do nothing much, since his father gestured him to returned to bed right away for school.

It’s a slow drive. Six in the evening, rushing hours. And during the passing minutes inside the car, Baekhyun tried to call his mother. Feeling agitated at every dial tones that only ends up with the toneless operator saying that the number he was trying to reach was out of reach. “Pick up the phone, mom,” he hissed, trying for the nth times. But it went up to the drain. The lines of car started to move, and Baekhyun had to put the phone down, pressing on the accelerator.

8:45 PM

The front house was dark. No sign of living, his mother’s car was in the garage, the metal gate wasn’t pulled down like it usually did. But considering the conditions his mother usually ended up with, it’s possible that she forgot about it entirely or too drunk to do anything for the sake of her life. Baekhyun did said something about it, since one of the door to their house was joint with the garage, and if she wasn’t careful enough, burglar could come in and robbed all of their things. Yet, he was being dismissed. Like usual, so Baekhyun stopped.

He moved out from the house by the time he graduated from high school. Enough money to rent a room somewhere far, packed out when his mother blindly knocked up by that favorite beverages of her, and never returned until his aunt Rosary called him. If it wasn’t for her aunt, Baekhyun wouldn’t have think twice to return back. Not when his father has passed away and he was stuck with a sad excuse of a mother inside the house that couldn’t handle her mess properly.

Sighing, he pinched the bridge of his nose as he unlocked the front door, but to realize that it wasn’t locked in the first place. The living room was dark, saved for the dim light by far corner that stretch out from the toilet near the kitchen illuminates the space. Baekhyun was expecting a big mess, empty bottles sprawled everywhere on the floor. But, it was pretty cleaned. The empty bottles were there, neatly put beside the table amidst in the living room, along with piles of old newspapers. The televisions looked like it hasn’t been used for long, and the stacked of old CDs that his father collected was still there. Flashed of memory back from his childhood crossed his mind, yet it was quickly dismissed by the sudden loud bang from the kitchen.

Pressing his lips into a straight line, he puts his bag onto the floor, behind the old couch with a slow thud and slowly made his way toward the kitchen. Oddly, the kitchen’s light was turned on, and there were few shuffling sounds coming from there. Right as he walked in to the kitchen, Baekhyun saw his mother’s hunched back, scanning over the contents inside the fridge. He watched as she pulled out the greens and couple of containers out from the fridge, closing them shut.

Then, their eyes meet.

His mother looked awfully the same since the last time he saw her. Probably three years ago. Or more, Baekhyun lose the count. His mother stared at him in bewildered, and a splash of fear crosses mars on her face before it was completely gone within seconds, like it wasn’t even there. She put all of the things in her arms over the counter, turning to face her son, “Sit down, I’m making a stew.”

Obeying, Baekhyun pulled the chair out from the table and take a seat, looking so out of the place with his winter coat, and red scarf adorning his neck. His cheeks were rosy, flushed from the weather outside, and the heater inside the house seemed to not be working properly, because he could still feel chills run through his bones. It was a complete silent, his mother’s back was turned on him as she worked around the kitchen to fix the stew. While Baekhyun sat there, arms crosses as he watched the woman through his eyes, still couldn’t decipher what’s going on with her head.

Hours ago she was calling him, crying over the line about aunt Rosary’s missing. And now, she was perfectly calm, moving around the kitchen, black hairs flared behind her like a wave, and Baekhyun was amazed by that. No matter how much he tried to push it back, his mother looked attractively young for her age. There were fined wrinkles over the corner of her lips when she talked earlier, but she was still stunning. His father has been a very devoted husband to her, over the years and they got Baekhyun as their son. And the shorter male could possibly understand why his father refused to let go of his mother, under no matter circumstances. It would be a shame, to let go of a beauty, but nether less, it was overly shame of him that he couldn’t escape from his own wife who had tortured his head days and nights. Resulting in his own death, years later. Baekhyun really don’t want to blame anyone, done with pointing fingers over this fucked up situations his family have been running circles in, when they were all to blame in the first place. His mother for being drunk and cruel, his father for being too kind and oblivious and Baekhyun for hating either both of them.

He didn’t realized for how long he had been zoning out. Not until his mother placed the hot pot of the sizzling stew in front of him and begins to scoop out a bowl of rice for him. Baekhyun badly want to open up his mouth and get things straight and be done with it, but it seemed like his mother was trying to delaying it. On purpose. So, he succumbs to it. There was no used. After all, he was quite famished after hours inspecting the dead body. And by now, the thought of the dead body didn’t appeal him to stop him from eating anymore.

They ate in silence. Only the sounds of the utensils clacking against the bowl were heard through the air. The stew was delicious, and Baekhyun scoops another half of it into his bowl.

“Didn’t they feed you there?”

Choked. Caught on guard, Baekhyun choked on the rice. He roughly pats his chests, eyes roaming for water and his mother quickly passed the cup over to him, surprised. He didn’t expected the questions. Especially when he had trying to be fit himself with the stillness that resonates around him. He put his chopsticks down, gulping the remaining water until it was gone under his mother’s scrutinize eyes.

Taking a deep breath, he glanced over toward his mother. “I purposely skipped eating.”

His mother’s forehead furrows in concerned, then she begins to scoop more dishes into her son’s bowl, quietly mumbles about how he need every nutrients to grow better. Couldn’t take it anymore, Baekhyun grabbed her wrist, eyes hard, stopping her from acting nice all of sudden. It just confused him even further and Baekhyun really don’t need this right now. He just wanted to know why his mother called him, crying about aunt Rosary when she had known of those stunts her sister had been pulling many times. “Stop,” he warns, exhaustion dripping onto every words. He pulled his hands away from his mother, and pushed his bowl away. Appetite’s all gone.

“You shouldn’t stop eating, B.”

He slammed the spoon down, rage filling his eyes the moment she spoke out of his old nickname. But his mother didn’t even flinched, already suspecting it to happen so she put her bowl down too.

“Why can’t we be civil for a day?”

Baekhyun scoffs. He stretched out his jaws, snapping his head down in annoyance. Blowing out his breath, he shakes his head afterwards. Calm down, Baekhyun. Ignoring his mother once again, he picked up his bowl and slurp the remaining soup inside it. It has been growing cold. He swallows the pickled radish, stuffing his mouth with the other side dishes. Purposely pretending that he was alone. He was being a prick, an asshole. Yet, he couldn’t help it in himself to be bothered by its. The act of kindness from his mother revived as an insult for him.

And all the while that he thought he was controlling the situation better, his mother knows which buttoned to push. The woman lets out a soft chuckles, picking the small carrot away from her bowl, “Forget about the call. I was emotional earlier. Rosary probably on her stupid hormones again.”

“Can we stop?”

His mother eyes were dark, staring straight into his eyes.

“Why do you hate me so much? I’m your mother. How many years has it been since you storm out from this house without telling me and I had to beg Rosary for your contact number.”

Baekhyun puts his bowl. Face palming himself, he groans into his hands. His head was throbbing and his mother didn’t looked like she wanted to stop. She was trying to push him to the edge, to spill out everything, exactly what she had been doing to him when she wanted him to confess about his sexuality way back when he was teenagers. Baekhyun has been terrified of her, knowing that she known fully well when to press further. But it has been years. He thought he could forget it, be immune to it but being in the same space as years ago, with the presence of his mother in front of him, it brought him back to the past.

“Where’s aunt Rosary, mom?”

His mother stared at him, dumbly.

“Don’t waste my time, please. I have work tomorrow and I need to drive back-”

“Your home is here, Baekhyun.” His mother purposely stressed out the word home. “Stay here and I will tell you.”

10:00 PM.

And that was how he ended up inside his old bedroom. The room felt so small comparing to his present one in the town. Better, in every possible aspects. Sitting in the room made him felt nauseated. Every nook corners of the room blatantly screamed out his past that he was dying to run away from. His pile of old school books were still there, tied with a rope around it like present bow, seated idly beside his study desk. There were still one or two yellow sticky notes with his scribbled written on it, lists of nothing that Baekhyun rather not knowing at this point.

Right after their outbursts in the kitchen, Baekhyun excused himself to sleep. He had made his mother promised to tell him about their aunt Rosary if he stayed. And honestly, Baekhyun felt like he was jumping straight to his mother’s trap to bring him back to home.

His mother never verbal in expressing her dislikes about his sexual preferences. But it’ was certain in every way she tried to distance Baekhyun from any boys in their neighborhood. It spoke volumes of her unspoken thoughts. She was desperate to look good in her son’s sight, that it looked desperate. And tortured. Big burden. Also, when Baekhyun had initially tried to confess about his desire to study abroad, away from their old, small town, his mother had throw fits. She locked him inside the room until Baekhyun took back his words. She was very adamant in keeping her son to himself, choosing to spurt nonsense about the dangers of the city would have done to her poor, sweet child.

And it looked it she was doing it again. Baekhyun couldn’t understand what was with her stupid obsessions on thinking that the town and big cities bring misfortune and bad luck when her mother was a town woman, herself. Aunt Rosary was different from her, free-spirited person, yet she couldn’t explained why either to Baekhyun when the shorter male asked her about his sister. They were keeping secrets. Lots of them.

Stripping off his worries, along with his clothes, he changed into his old loose shirt and pants. Seeing that his dress shirt has catch some splotches of blood from cleaning earlier, and his overall that smelt like death, Baekhyun was left with no other option but to wash it off.

There was bit of accident in the lab earlier in the evening. Before the second body arrived, probably even before Minseok even punched his card. He had come earlier today since he had to drop Sehun off at the airport. The said male had another international conference to attend and his flight was scheduled to fly at seven in the morning. Usually, he would go to work sharp at ten, exactly during Sehun’s morning break, so Sehun would picked him off and they would drove to Baekhyun’s workplace after picking up a simple breakfast at the cafe across their apartment unit. But today, he had to drive. After dropping Sehun off, he went straight to the lab to finish off his unfinished report. It had been hectic over the past three weeks due to the uproar of the sudden death that shocked the media. They already done cutting open the corpse, and stitching them back after getting samples. And as he flicked the lamp opened, the floor was reek of flowing blood from the cool cabinet. He had called Minseok, and the other had rushed toward the lab with another officer that Baekhyun was rather not familiar with to begin cleaning the whole area. Turned out, the blood sample that Baekhyun took yesterday fall off from the holder and spilled. Although it sounded fishy, for the shorter male was convince that he placed them carefully and there was no way the holder could stumble over.

Plucking his earpod, he pushed his phone deep into his pant, scooping his dirty laundry and begin to make way toward the downstairs where the washing machine was situated.

Their house was an old construction building, along with others few that went on along the path same as theirs right to the corner. So, usually the families put up a small laundry room at the basement, easier to connect the water pipe with the underground and if there was leaking, it could definitely save lot of effort to clean up. There was a small hole, drain. When the water overflowed, the water will drain right through the small hole. Same goes for the water from the washing machine after rinsing.

It was eerie, save for the upbeat that flowed from his earpod. And Baekhyun remained oblivious to his surroundings. He was tired after all, stripped off from his energy to even bothered anymore. Gently, Baekhyun put all of his clothes into the washing machine, dumping the softener inside the machine and closed them off with a loud slam, before pressing the setting to set the machine to work. Sighing, he glanced aside, toward the dryer machine. It was beeping. Thinking that his mother must have forgotten about her laundry down here, Baekhyun turned off the switch. The machine was still hot, indicating that it was recently used. Around two hour ago, because usually his mother would set it to 120 minutes top to dry the clothes.

But, somehow, he was feeling quite uncomfortable with the beeping and there was this uneasiness that sit deep inside his stomach. Running his fingers through his brown locks, he debating to take the clothes from the machine, since he is going to use it anyway, afterward and if he do it right now, it would save him some time. Ignoring the heavy clump on his throat, and the danger warning blaring dangerously in his head, he squatted down in front of the dryer machine. And he realized that the door of the machine was painted in deep red, like a paint been splashed over.

Blinking, he stares as the liquid rolls down. The dim of the light from the room make it hard for him to see better. He brings his hand toward the handle shakily, then the light blinks, and his sight blackened for a second.

When the light returned, he was staring straight into someone’s face, eyes gauge opened, the hole where it supposed to hold the eyes were hollow. Mouth wide opened, revealing the half missing tongue.

Right on his instinct, he jumped backward, fall to his butt as he screamed.

The police hovered over the dryer machine, medics trying to pull out the remnants of the body that had been dismembered out from the machine. The blood was dried, thanks to the dryer and it smelled horrible. Baekhyun was leaning against the doorway of the stairs, eyes bored to the people that passed.

His mother had rushed down quickly at the sound of his scream, and everything just gone off in a blank. His mother was frozen on her stand, and with ragged breath, eyes spinning, Baekhyun pulled out his phone and dialed Inspector Seo.

“Are you okay, Baekhyun?” Minseok pressed his palm hot on his shoulder, and Baekhyun sighs. He turned over to walk away from the stairs. Minseok follow, trails behind. Both of them didn’t know what to say. His mother was been interrogated at the living room by other officers. And for the first time, Baekhyun could see the stressed and fear that rested on her face.