#where do y'all get these big charming butchers

[frogchiro]

hiii kin < 3 do u think we could get more butcher ghost plz … he’s been on my mind literally the time since YESTERDAY wen a big butcher man at the shop in my town complimented my dress & gave me xtra meat 🙏🏽

YOU'RE KIDDING??? Ok but now I'm legit jealous ;;

Okay but...Butcher!Si would definitely do the same :(( Ofc he always gives you some extra meat anyways, only choosing the best and freshest cuts to leave specifically for you, but this time it was a little bit different.

This time you needed to buy a whole chicken because your neighbours were coming over, a lovely older couple that helped you so much when you first arrived in town and you always want them to get the best possible hospitality whenever they come over so you decided to make some lemon roasted chicken, and who would be better to supply it than the lovely, older and huge butcher, Simon!

The thing is you don;t understand (at least not yet atp) what you do to the poor man's heart and cock. When he saw you strutting in, all cute and dolled up in that flowy yellow summer dress with that bright smile on your face, Simon felt like his breath was punched out of his lungs at once.

He'd compliment you in that gruff, low tone of his, throwing only a 'You look pretty', and everything else was kept inside his head, the fantasy of ripping the dress from your body and taking you up against the wall would have to wait until after his shift when he gets back to the privacy of his shitty flat so he can jerk off until he overstimulates himself <3

[parachutingkitten]

Y'all suck at dissecting Kai's character, so I guess I have to do it.

And I'm not even a Kai stan. He's a bottom tier ninja for me, which I guess means you can trust me, cuz I'm not biased, but also why am I the one doing this? I don't know about y'all, but recently on my dash, the method by which Kai fans try to make him sound good is... saying the writers hate him, ignore him, and that he isn't written well? Which... I mean there is a little bit of truth to, but like yikes guys, is this the best you got? Kai is a wonderful character with plenty of attention from the writers, a meaningful piece of the cast when put in secondary rolls, fairly consistent character writing with actual progression and valuable qualities that help the team without having to be the smart one- despite what some posts might tell you.

Let's get one thing cleared up: Ninjago isn't the best written show. By high level Hollywood standards, most the character arcs are kinda weak or too heavy handed, character consistency can be iffy, and most things serve the plot rather than the characters. There is no character you can point to and say "wow, this character is written so well! No complaints!" Nya and Jay were butchered by their weird love plot, Cole's one season doesn't actually give him an arc, Zane's been nothing but the robot numbers guy for like 10 seasons now, and Lloyd seems to be incapable of doing anything but relive the same one piece of dad angst for depth. Sorry, it's true. All the characters suck when you look at it from a large scale writing perspective. So when I say Kai is well written, I mean by ninjago kids show standards- cuz that's the scale we're working on. No, you couldn't drop Kai into a well written drama, but as far as ninjago goes... he's got a lot going for him, and by no means is he the biggest victim of poor writing.

(fair warning, wall of text below)

The title is a bit disingenuous. There are plenty of good Kai character break downs. What I am presenting here is a more positive perspective. On the whole, I will tend to give the writers the benefit of the doubt, and credit for what they do right writing is hard guys. That's what I'm doing here. I don't see much sense in getting mad the writers on behalf of Kai, or any other character. Ninjago is a simplistic ensemble show that works because of the identifiable simplicity of its main characters with some deeper layers hidden underneath if you keep watching. They've given us a damn good show with some damn enjoyable characters, so here are some criticisms I feel are a little flawed:

First, let's get the 'focus' thing out of the way. Apparently there are people saying Kai doesn't have a season yet? Which... what? I mean, I get that the pilots aren't a full season, the first two seasons, though he is the central protagonist, aren't "Kai seasons" as we've come to define ninja focus seasons, season 7, though he gets majority focus, he shares with his sister. But like... did y'all just forget about season 4? You know, the season where he had the title card, was on the box sets, got the love interest, and the majority of the A-plot? not to mention it's the best season don't @ me Like... if season 4 isn't a Kai season, I can make a damn good argument that season 3 isn't a Zane season, and I doubt anyone wants to go down that rabbit hole. I really can't wrap my head around this one. And I get that the fandom hates season 11 for some reason, but like you can't just pretend it doesn't exist. Kai has a consistent arc across 30 episodes in which he takes his powers for granted, loses them, and learns that, not only does he have value within the team without them, but that his element is intrinsically a part of him that he reclaims, bringing them back more powerful than ever, and with new respect for them. That's one of the most solid arcs in the whole series- the location is even thematically connected to his element. That's some good stuff right there! (Quick plug for season 11 if you haven't watched it in a while. Give it a rewatch, you might be pleasantly surprised)

Not to mention the writers give him fun side stuff all the time. Lots of fears of tech and water to overcome, a deep protective streak with Lloyd, becoming a chancellor, having a true potential actually relevant to the plot as a whole, blacksmith responsibilities, befriending dragons, hanging out with his dad. Not to mention actual focus stuff we haven't talked about yet, like his whole "my dad is evil" phase, and his "I might be evil" phase with him and Skylor. And on top of that, even when he doesn't have an explicit side plot, he's always just a fun and dynamic side character to make jokes or give exposition.

Now, into character stuff. Let's start with Kai's hot headed-ness. Some people say he's been loosing this quality, and I will admit, that's true! But those that claim this makes him inconsistent... I strongly disagree. In early seasons, Kai's temper would lead him to snap at his friends or make stupid decisions that set the team back (see episode 2 Zane freak out)- these are bad things. These are character flaws, yes? Now, in newer seasons, people say that he's inconsistent, cuz sometimes he'll be hot headed, and sometimes he won't. I'd say, this is exactly how being hot headed... works? It flares up without warning, and as an individual gets control of it, it'll pop up less and less often because they're channeling it into productive things - like say directing the anger towards an enemy (see season 11 end freak out). Kai has gained control of a character flaw, and though it still pops up on occasion, the fact that it's a once in a while kind of thing speaks to his growth. I have a little brother who has this exact personality, and watching him grow up, I can tell you, this is how it is. He used to snap all the time, and he still does sometimes, but much less frequently, because he's a more mature person with better control of his emotions. This is a good thing. This is overcoming personal flaws. This is progression we're seeing.

And while you're hyper focused on this one aspect of him, things like his cocky confidence haven't changed a bit. I mean, that season 3 bit between him and Pixal, and his season 11 "fire maker" streak have the exact same energy. You can not convince me otherwise.

Another adjacent quality that hasn't been dampened is Kai's impulsiveness. This can be a good quality of his, he'll get into a fight without thinking, getting the jump on the enemy. Good stuff. But, this has become such a well defined trait of Kai's that it has been used in a comedic capacity. This is what happens when a character is extremely consistent to the extent that both the audience and the characters in universe would be able to predict their actions. Kai's impulsivity used to be a more serious quality that put himself and others at risk, and was a big power move whenever he did something rash, but it's become such a staple of the show that it's now being used for comedy. That isn't Kai's impulsivity going away, that's Kai's impulsivity being recontextualized for the sake of the show. The season 9 "Who's stupid enough to jump on that thing" isn't a joke at the expense of Kai just for being dumb, it's a joke at Kai's being so predictably impulsive that everyone already knows he'll be the one to put himself in an insane amount of danger without thinking twice (you know, something stupid that might get him killed). But because in this instance, the danger is warranted, this is bravery. It's a complement to his character- it's what ends up defeating the colossus. Why are some people so bothered by this joke?

Oh right, cuz for some reason people want to peg Kai as the smart one? Look, Kai isn't stupid, none of the ninja are. All of them have smart moments (all of them have dumb ones too) and Kai can certainly handle himself, but "smart" is definitely not one of his defining characteristics- I think some people are confusing smart for his actual strength. Connected to his impulsivity, Kai has very good simplistic instincts. He sees the big picture and looks at the most surface level solution- which when the situation calls for it, that does indeed make him smart. But the same logic that led him to think "This snake has a glowing target on its head, lets hit it" also led him to think "I'm in a video game, therefore I am immortal." Are you really going to look at me and say he figured out Lloyd was the green ninja through logical deduction and a careful consideration of the facts? No. He had a gut feeling, and he trusted it. Instincts- instincts paired with his impulsive following of said instincts is what leads him to solve problems- and sometimes, that can be extremely effective. This goes for other ninja too. Jay isn't the smartest ninja- I would really only classify Zane and Nya as having intelligence define them (hence their ship name). But Jay is extremely creative and crafty. He also knows his was around mechanics, and as such, this will lead him to come up with creative tech based solutions which are smart. But, idk about you, if I had to point to another ninja as being 'dumb' it would 100% be Jay. Kai is a lot of things. He's passionate and determined and confident and persistent. He's a good improvisor, he's powerful and he's charming! These are all wonderful qualities, he doesn't also have to be the smart one. I am the worlds biggest Pixal stan, and she's a smart, sassy, powerful character, but I'm not gonna sit here and tell you she's also hilarious and adaptable and strong willed. She's a straight man to all the ninja's antics, extremely tied to her samurai x suit, and lets people push her around all the time. That doesn't mean she can't be funny, or self interested, but when she does act these ways, it stems from her other more prominent qualities. That make sense?

And while we're clearing up what Kai isn't, please stop characterizing Kai as an overly protective brother - especially romantically. The only two times he's been romantically protective to Nya are in Wu's Teas which I mean, come on and in the pilots when Jay is literally a stranger. For crying out loud, by the end of the pilot, he's smiling when Jay and Nya hug. That's not overly protective, that's just normal, any reasonable person would react this way, protective. And it's such a great stereotype break for a kids show like ninjago, having an older brother who actually trusts his younger sister to be her own independent person who can make her own decisions. I mean, I guess it's fine if you HC differently but like... idk, I don't buy it.

Now, is there still room to criticize the writers? Yes. Hell yes. But not to an extent greater than any other character. Could he have had more of a defined reaction to events of the most recent season that I won't name for the sake of spoilers? Yes. But could Zane have reacted for more than .5 seconds at being an evil war lord for apparently 60 years? Yeah. Has Kai taken a back seat in the past 4 seasons? Yeah. But so has Lloyd- and he's literally the main character of the show. Not to mention two of those seasons have gone to people who had to wait over ten seasons to get one to themselves, and one of them is a 40 minute special. Kai's doing just fine.

Anyway. Kai is great. He's a fun, stereotype breaking, impulsively driven, ball of energy and confidence who gets a good amount of screen time and some fun side plots.

One last thing to clear up: no hate to anyone. This isn't targeted at anyone specific, this post has been a long time coming, I've just seen some weird overblown claims on various platforms over the past few months and I finally sat down to write about it.

I like the Kai content we have. After all, if the writers were really that bad at writing him, then no one would like him.

Wow this was so much longer than I thought it would be. Um... if you have other long winded rants you'd like to see from me... let me know I guess?

[doingthingsthewriteway]

I’ll Be Home for Christmas iv.

Summary: The finale

A/N: cross posted ao3

Taglist: @charmed-asylum​ @projectcampbell​

Town was a buzz which meant Y/N desperately avoided it. She'd made the mistake of visiting her friend at the beauty parlor where the chatter of gossip fell silent as she walked in. Rosemary offered sympathetic eyes though only for the gossip of the other ladies, not the situation itself.

"You didn't tell me you're going steady with the sheriff!" She squealed, running her hands through Y/N's hair.

"It's news to me too."

Rosemary playfully smacked her arm. "Your hair's always been so pretty curled. Let me show ya how and I'll give ya some rollers so you'll look all pretty when he proposes."

Y/N knew better to interrupt Rosie and maybe she felt a little selfish. Rosie wasn't so much proposed to as it was her daddy standing with the barrel of his gun on her (now) husband's chest. At least Y/N was getting asked. Though, she didn't figure it was asking if there was only one answer teacher college said that wasn't right.

With a goodie bag of new products that Y/N insisted on paying for if the rollers were free, Y/N left town intent on getting home and staying there. She almost made it too. Lee was answering a call about a coyote which didn't amount to more than a skinny German Shepherd.

"Howdy, darling." He tipped his hat, toothpick rolling between his lips. "Reckon you could help me with the pooch?"

Lee took her bags from her arm, handbag included, and set them in his squad car. Y/N kneeled before the critter, extending a open hand. "C'mere sweetheart. I ain't gonna hurt ya."

The dog whimpered and eventually worked its way toward her. Lee carefully scooped up the dog and wrangled it into the back seat. "Gotta get this one to the dog catcher."

"Oh Lee, please don't!" Y/N surprised herself at her outburst. She practically through herself into his arms. "He'll kill it! It ain't done nothing wrong."

Lee did his best to hide his smile (which was pretty damn hard to do) at the tenderness in his little girl. He held her at arm's length, staring down at her with his head titled slightly. "Butcher said it was begging."

"Well you would too if you were that skinny."

A laugh shook his belly against hers. "I reckon you're right." Rubbing his jaw, he hummed slightly in thought. "Well if I can't take it to the dog catcher, what do you suppose I do?"

"Keep it." She wriggled out of his arms and to the window of the cruiser where the dog pressed its nose against the glass. "Could even train it to sniff out drugs or bombs."

Nodding, a crooked smile etched itself on his face. "I'll take it home with me for now." He scuffed the toe of his boot against the curb. "Christmas Eve, after the evening service I'm bringing you to my place."

Any elation at a good deed left Y/N immediately. Her shoulders visibly slumped-Lee ignored it for now, he'd put her in his place if she didn't take more pride in being his woman. Instead of protesting, she managed a "I didn't know you went to church."

"How else am I supposed to get Preacher to let us get hitched there?"

Y/N felt the burn of bile rise in her throat but said nothing, only nodding as she reclaimed her things and left. The thought of running, just getting in her car and speeding away but Lee's hand was in everything making that no longer a viable option. She was inevitably stuck.

Staying hunkered in her house was wearing her down. The air fell thick and heavy in the house whenever she happened to cross the path of her mother. Her father could barely talk to her anymore which stung in a way she couldn't quite describe. Y/N hadn't changed yet everyone in this godforsaken town acted like it.

Going with the motions was all she could do. She curled her hair the night before Christmas Eve, keeping it rolled up until the absolute last minute. Her Christmas dress was a rich green made of crushed velvet that her grandmother bought what seemed like a lifetime ago.

Keeping her coat thrown over her arm, pocketbook tucked away, she lingered by the front door. Lee's headlights shown through the windows. His boot stomps on the porch foretold his knock and she opened the door.

"Wow." He murmured under his breath, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "You look wonderful, like an angel."

Rosy cheeks met him in response. "Let's go, we don't want to be late for the service."

Hours later, bums sore from the wooden pews, Lee's palms sweat. He suppressed the anticipation as best he could but something about the candlelight and the stain glass of the church just made Y/N look all the more like the woman of his dreams. Several men winked and women gave his arms a squeeze as the townspeople lingered on the front steps. Snow dusting everyone's shoulders.

Y/N, patient if not overly so, played her part well. An admittance of defeat for her cause. Gently resting her head on his shoulder as he traded jokes with the mayor served as a signal for Lee. "Y'all have merry Christmas. Time for me to take my lady home."

Odd how the townspeople were indifferent to Lee's anticipated behavior yet teenagers couldn't go any further than a peck on the lips without a biblical intervention. Yet, here the town was encouraging sin. Perhaps, Lee being Y/N's problem was better than Lee being Knockemstiff's problem.

"I've fixed the house up as best I could. Needs a woman's touch to feel like home until we find a place all our own."

"Are you sure about this? About me?" Last ditch effort, a Christmas miracle if there ever were one.

"Darlin' I'm more sure about you than anything in my entire life."

His house was plain bearing only the necessities. To her relief, the dog from days before greeted the two at the door. Tail thumping against their legs a howl. "Merry Christmas to you too, buddy."

"He's gonna need a name, momma." Lee's grin pressed into her neck as he wrapped his arms around her waist. "Our baby boy needs a name."

"You were gonna slaughter him a week ago. Now he's your baby?"

"What can I say? You changed me." His hips continued to press into her back, swaying softly until just the right amount of friction caused his cock to press into her ass. "Now, we gotta open presents."

"I didn't-"

"Silly girl. I didn't give you any money to buy anything you're my present." He pulled her to the sorriest looking tree she'd ever seen. A small black box with a big red bow sat under it. Slowly, he opened the box as he dropped to one knee. "Will you marry me, Y/N?"

A pause was not the appropriate response. Almost immediately, he grabbed her wrist yanking him toward her. "C'mon darling. Here I am asking nicely instead of just taking what's mine." He shoved the ring on her finger (admittedly the prettiest thing she'd ever seen).

Gripping her jaw, he planted a firm kiss on her lips forcing his tongue through. Struggling was also not appropriate response. A firm slap on her ass caused her to flinch and squeal.

"Easy girl. Just relax. You're in your place now: home for Christmas with me."