#which I use a fair bit just to make flour and sugar for the gang to cook with

[victorluvsalice]

-->And then it was time for everyone to converge on the greenhouse and help out Victor – specifically, by doing some targeted harvesting while he finished up his tending! I had Alice return to normal and rush in there to pick the coconuts, the pineapples, the soy and black beans (and evolve a couple of plants while she was at it), while Smiler picked a bunch of their herbalism stuff (with a focus on stuff like the noxious elderberries and poison fireleaf I didn’t have before). Smiler then dusted Victor’s bees with mite treatment, fertilized their noxious elderberries so they could evolve them up to nice level, and headed upstairs to have a nice bath –

-->And Alice got sent to the kitchen to make some more food for the food stand, using her new appliances! :D Because if we’re going to have a food sale, we need to have food to sell! She’d already made a garden pizza last playsession while at the store, which was already in the stand – I thus had her make a fresh batch of dough in the stand mixer, then bake up some banana split waffles, a loaf of artful focaccia, some minty mocha cupcakes (in the oven! :D), and a pineapple pizza! Yes, I was thinking a bit about food that Smiler would probably like, as they were the one who was going to be running the stand – sometimes I regret that they’re a vampire who can’t eat regular food in this save, as I know any human Smilers would be all over banana split waffles and pineapple pizza. In another save, Smiler, I promise! I’ll fudge things a bit in my potential future Valicer In The Dark save! XD

-->While Alice was getting her cooking on, Victor and Smiler were keeping busy with the last of the farm chores (while the chickens were keeping busy with a fox – I gotta get some more livestock upgrade parts). Victor FINALLY finished the tending (and deactivated poor Elmer to stop the bot from constantly trying to weed a glitched plant) and got the initial batch of super-selling done, then left Smiler to finish off selling everything while he cleared out the cow shed (and once again dropped the results on the ground next to said cow shed – I just had him put the trash in his inventory for later recycling). Smiler got Gardening skill 9 from all the super-selling (and harvesting the lemon tree in the corner that had gotten skipped in all the super-sell batching), which pleased me greatly –

And then I realized “wait a minute. Isn’t it supposed to be New Skill Day? Where’s the holiday thing?” Concerned, I checked the calendar, and confirmed that it was indeed a holiday – but that I didn’t have the overlay for it in the corner of my screen. Uh-oh. That DEFINITELY seemed like a sign the save file was on its way out. I decided not to worry TOO much about it at the moment, as New Skill Day is just a pop-up holiday, and not a particularly important one, and instead Alice box up the final pizza, slapped all the food in the foot stand, and had Smiler grab said food stand and gather everyone up to bring them to the Brindleton Bay Pawspital –

[jaskierswolf]

You Set My Heart Ablaze (24/25)

Previous

Warnings: Jaskier has a small panic attack in this chapter, but Geralt helps him through it. The whole thing is barely a paragraph.

_______

Saturday.

Finally!

The first day of the summer holidays! Jaskier had barely been able to resist throwing his arms around Geralt the day before when the fireman had come to collect Ciri after school but they’d both agreed that they should at least try to wait until the weekend. So he’d forcibly stuffed his hands in his pockets and shuffled on his feet. He couldn’t help the dazzling smile he flashed at Geralt but at least he managed to keep his hands to himself.

But that was now a thing of the past.

He sat up in bed with more energy than he’d had in the mornings in years. He pushed his glasses up his nose and ran a hand through his hair as he searched for his phone within the pile of sheets. He found the bastard under one of his pillows and immediately rang Geralt without looking at the time.

It rang a few times before Geralt picked up.

“The fuck?” Geralt grumbled into the phone.

Jaskier frowned and pulled the phone away from his ear so he could look at the time. “Oh shit!” He cackled and then put the phone on speaker. “Sorry, darling. I’m still on school time.”

“Jaskier, you’re never on school time, even during term time,” Geralt muttered.

“Oh shush. I just wanted to say that I love you!” He trilled happily.

Geralt grunted.

“Oh ho ho! Aren’t you a grumpy arse this morning?” Jaskier giggled and rolled onto his back, planting his legs up against the wall.

“Fuck off.”

“No! Because it is the school holidays and I, Jaskier Pankratz, love you, Geralt Rivia.” He sighed wistfully.

“Hmm.”

“Geralt!” He whined.

He knew the fireman was tired but he could at least say it back once. The fucker.

“Love you too, now can I get back to sleep?”

Jaskier rolled his eyes. “Yes, dear heart, but call me when you’re awake, alright?”

“Fine.”

The line went dead.

The bastard.

He considered going back to sleep himself but he had too much energy. He jumped out of bed, tripping over his shoes that were on the floor right by his bed, and went flailing across the room.

“Oh cock!” He cursed as he landed, rather painfully, against the door. He would probably have a lovely bruise on the hip that crashed against the wall, but it was better than landing on his wrists and breaking them.

He sort of needed those to play his instruments.

He supposed he could always just sing.

Nah. That was shit.

Plus Priscilla would kill him if he couldn’t finish up the new album. He still had at least one lute track to put down, and even though she could play the lute, he was more skilled and she preferred to focus on the singing. She’d complained enough about his insistence on using the lute over the guitar on this album but he’d refused to back down. He had a vision!

So fuck the guitar.

He sighed and straightened his glasses, frowning as he noticed the smudges on the lenses. How the fuck were they already dirty? He’d only cleaned them last night before bed.

Fuck it.

Pancakes!

Ooh he could make the chocolate chip kind and send photos to Geralt. They had an unspoken rule that one did not make chocolate chip pancakes without photographic evidence unless they were both there to enjoy it. He frowned as he reached the edge of his living/kitchen area, and stuck his tongue between his lips. Maybe he should wait until he could make pancakes with Geralt and Ciri? He didn’t want to make them too often. They wouldn’t be special if he made them too often.

He scoffed. “Yeah, well. I’m hungry.” He muttered. He gazed longingly at the flour and sugar on the top shelf of his cupboards and then grabbed a box of chocolate cereal instead.

Yes he still ate chocolate cereal. The boring old flakey stuff was shit and he actually had taste buds. He preferred his food to not taste like cardboard.

Gods, how was he an adult?

He sighed and scrolled through the social media on his phone. Triss had put up a few pictures from the pub the night before. He’d reluctantly declined the invitation as the wolves were going along, even though Geralt had stayed behind to look after Ciri. There were quite a few of Triss and Eskel pulling funny faces at the camera, and one adorable photo of Triss kissing his cheek. Eskel looked incredibly happy. They were cute together. Jaskier hit the heart button and typed out a string of heart-eyes emojis in the comments.

Even Yennefer had put up a rare personal post. She normally kept her social media for her art stuff  but there was a stunning photograph of her outside the pub. She was wearing a long white chiffon  dress matched with a leather jacket and heavy leather boots, not exactly summery but it was Yennefer. She was gazing off to the side, her face lit by dull glow of the street lamps, one fiery violet eye almost glowing in the darkness.

Jaskier pouted. How was she so fucking photogenic all the time? Seriously how was Geralt now dating him after that?

“Urgh,” he groaned and hit the heart button.

JaskierTheBard: Stop making us all look bad, Yennefer! Stunning photograph darling x

He reread the reply twice and hit send. It was kinder than he usual response to Yennefer but honestly he had to admit she was a little bit sexy in that one, which just wasn’t fair.

Renfri had posted a group photo of the whole gang and he whined. It looked like a fun night. Stupid Philippa and her rules. It wasn’t fair that he had to miss out, but thankfully those days were officially over!

He lost track of time as he scrolled on his phone. He swore as he suddenly remembered his cereal. He groaned as he peered into his bowl. The milk was chocolatey and the cereal had all but disintegrated. He fucking hated soggy cereal.

“Cock,” he muttered and threw the whole lot in the bin.

He was about to put some toast on when his door bell rang. He yelped and jumped at the sound. He looked down at himself. He was still just wearing his boxers. Fuck. He ran to his bedroom and grabbed his dressing gown. It was too hot really to wear it in the summer but he wouldn’t have time to get dressed.

As it turned out, he needn’t have bothered. Geralt was at the door holding a bunch of roses with a sheepish smile on his face.

Jaskier grinned. “Geralt!” He flung his arms around his boyfriends neck and then swore as he realised he was probably crushing the flowers. “Umm, let me just go get some water. Wait. These are for me? They are beautiful. Geralt!” He whined and covered his face in his hands.

Geralt, the fucker, just laughed at him. “They’re for you. I thought… well, Ciri said I couldn’t go on a date without flowers. She was really stubborn about it.”

Jaskier snorted and carefully took the flowers from Geralt. They weren’t too badly crushed, thank Melitele for that. “I wonder where she gets that from,” he teased.

Geralt rolled his eyes. “Calanthe, her grandmother. Even Pavetta had a stubborn streak. Trust me, this one has nothing to do with me.”

Jaskier’s eyes went wide. “Oh shit! I’m sorry. I forgot. I didn’t mean… hmmph!”

Geralt had kissed him.

Not that he was complaining. He smiled into the kissed and then pulled back to gaze into Geralt’s beautiful amber eyes.

“You don’t get to do that every time you want me to shut up, dearest,” he chided gently.

Geralt smirked and just kissed him again.

Ok so perhaps he could.

Gods he was so smitten.

“I love you,” he breathed against Geralt’s lips when they finally pulled apart.

Geralt brushed his nose against Jaskier’s. “I love you too, even if you do have morning breath.”

Jaskier gasped and shoved against Geralt’s chest. “Rude!” He pouted.

“You love me,” Geralt reminded him. “How are you not dressed yet? You’ve been awake for hours.”

Jaskier shrugged. “Internet.”

“Come on, get dressed. I want to take you out.” Geralt instructed with a tilt of his head.

Jaskier laughed. “Take me out how? Kill me or date me? Honestly I’m down for both.”

“Jaskier!” Geralt growled and rolled his eyes.

“Kill me, right. Got it,” he winked at his boyfriend. “Now are you absolutely sure you want me to get dressed? Because I have the perfect outfit to wear but once I’m in those jeans I am not taking them off again,” he stroked Geralt’s cheek with one finger and then bopped him on the nose.

“Hmm. Brush your teeth and I’ll get water for the flowers.” Geralt took the roses back off him. “Do you have a vase?”

Jaskier scoffed. “Of course I have a vase. I’m gay!”

“That’s not an excuse for everything, Jaskier, and I’m pretty sure you’re bi,” Geralt rolled his eyes.

Jaskier laughed. “That’s just homophobic.”

“That’s not—” Geralt cut himself off and pinched his nose. “Bathroom. Now. I’ll find the vase.”

Jaskier giggled happily and went to brush his teeth.

Oh sweetest Melitele! He loved the summer holidays!

__________________

After a few false starts they finally made it out of Jaskier’s flat. He was slightly regretting his choice in black skinny jeans but really they made his legs and arse look great. It was was his first proper date with Geralt and he wanted to look good. They both managed a quick shower and Jaskier braided Geralt’s hair to elevate his usual half up do. Geralt even let Jaskier slip a couple of buttercup clips into the braids.

Geralt was wearing the outfit he’d turned up it which Jaskier hadn’t managed to appreciate before but he could now as he gazed happily at his partner across the table. Geralt had also gone for black skinny jeans, thank you Freya, and a slick black short-sleeved shirt. Honestly Jaskier didn’t know how the man wasn’t boiling in the heat of the summer in all that black but he wasn’t going to complain. It was the first time he’d seen Geralt in a shirt and he was loving it.

In comparison Jaskier had decided on a bright turquoise shirt. He’d left the bottom few buttons undone and tied the ends in a knot to turn the shirt into a crop top. The intensity of Geralt’s gaze on him when he’d finally been allowed to see the whole look had almost cause yet another delay to their date but Jaskier had just winked and pulled his slightly dazed partner out of the flat, switching his glasses for his prescription sunglasses.

He had been far too hungry to delay any further and he wanted to go on a cute date with his boyfriend!

Geralt suggested an adorable little sandwich parlour. It didn’t look like much from the outside but inside it was cosy and quiet, a perfect lunchtime date spot.

Or it would have if they hadn’t been interrupt by Lambert and Renfri… again.

Seriously, every time they ended up in a coffee shop those two were there. They both had wet hair and flushed red faces. Jaskier assumed the pair of them had been at the gym. Geralt had mentioned they liked to spar together on the wolf pack’s days off, that and the work out clothes sort of gave them away.

“Well, well, well,” Lambert laughed as they approached and crossed his arms. “So much for Triss and Eskel’s theory of you moving on, Dandelion.”

Jaskier gaped at the redhead. “Wait what? Have you been talking about us?!” He pointed a finger at the pair of them.

Renfri rolled her eyes. “Do you honestly think they have anything better to do? I’ve had to keep my mouth shut for months whilst these idiots try and think of a plan to set you two up. Triss was heartbroken when you told her you’d moved on. She was really rooting for you guys.”

“Wait, you knew?” Lambert growled at Renfri, she just shoved him in the face.

“Of course I knew. It was fucking obviously. You just had to look at Geralt’s face whenever Jaskier was mentioned. He lit up like a petrol can.”

“Renfri,” Geralt sighed. “I wasn’t that bad.”

Renfri snorted and Jaskier cackled. Oh ho! He was going to have so much fun with this. He held Geralt’s hand over the top of the table and smiled at his lover. “Oh darling, I didn’t know you cared so much,” he simpered with a flutter of his eyelashes.

“I’m pretty sure I showed you how much I care this morning, more than once.”

Jaskier blushed and pulled his hand away. “Touché, dear heart, touché,” he licked his lips as he remembered the morning’s activities. “Please, feel free to remind me any time.”

“Nope!” Lambert yelled and covered his ears. “No. You are not going to be that couple. Urgh.”

“Months I’ve had to put up with this!” Renfri complained. “Come on, wolf. Let’s leave the love birds in peace. They’ll put me off my lunch otherwise.”

“So gross,” Lambert agreed.

Jaskier laughed as the pair of them scarpered from the shop, and he rested his head on his chin as he ate his chips. They were like the kind you get in fish and chip shops and covered in blessed salty goodness. Geralt, the monster that he was, covered his with vinegar so Jaskier wouldn’t steal his chips as well.

“So what’s their deal?” Jaskier asked though mouthfuls of delicious fried potato.

Geralt tilted his head, he also now had a mouthful of cheesesteak sandwich.

“They said they weren’t dating?” Jaskier tried to explain.

Geralt huffed and Jaskier waited for him to finish eating. “Renfri doesn’t date. She has no interest in it.”

Jaskier nodded. “Asexual?”

Geralt shook his head. “Don’t think so. Just the dating thing,” he scowled as he tried to formulate his thoughts. “I think she called it aromantic, but even then her and Lambert are practically siblings. They’d probably both stab you for suggesting anything else.”

“Right. Noted. Rather not be stabbed. I made it all the way through the school year. It would be a fucking shame if I got stabbed now,” he flicked his fringe from his eyes. “Especially when you look so bloody sexy in that shirt.”

Geralt scoffed. “Says the man wearing a crop top.”

Jaskier grinned and leant forward so his lips were almost touching Geralt’s. “It would look better on your bedroom floor, darling.”

Geralt’s eyes went dark and Jaskier kissed the tip of his nose. “But not yet. I’m starving and these chips are brilliant! I cannot believe you would ruin them with vinegar.”

Geralt groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You’re a fucking tease, Jaskier.”

Jaskier just laughed and brushed his foot up against Geralt’s leg under the table. “You love it,” he agreed with a wink.

“Hmm.”

“You doooo,” Jaskier insisted. “And you love me!”

“I admit nothing.”

“I’ll make it up to you later?” He flashed his most flirtatious grin at Geralt, rubbing his foot further up Geralt’s leg.

“Jask,” Geralt half moaned and Jaskier laughed at the pretty blush on Geralt’s cheek.

“Yes, dearest Geralt?” He sang, feigning innocence.

“I hate you.” His boyfriend groaned and hid his face behind his hands.

“I know, love. I know.”

____________________

Jaskier was busy pulling on one of Geralt’s hoodies that he’d pinched earlier on in their relationship, when Geralt sighed loudly. Jaskier bounced back over to the bed and straddled his boyfriend’s hips.

“What’s up, dear heart?” He said with a tilt of his head.

Geralt’s long hair was now loose. Jaskier had taken great delight in undoing his own work and letting the silver strands fall loosely by Geralt’s face. His hair was naturally wavy after a shower anyway but it had been accentuated where the braids had been, and by the gods, Geralt had looked so beautiful. He still did. Only now he had his grumpy face back on. Jaskier gently stroked his thumb along Geralt’s cheek, brushing a loose strand away from his eyes.

“We need to tell Ciri,” Geralt groaned.

“Already? I thought we were going to tell her we’re friends first.”

“Won’t work.”

Jaskier raised an eyebrow and huffed. “And why not?”

“She’s too clever, and I love you,” Geralt grumbled.

Jaskier felt his smile soften at Geralt’s words and he shifted so he could lie back down on Geralt’s chest, nuzzling into the crook of Geralt’s neck. “And I love you, my dearest of hearts.”

“Hmm.” He felt Geralt kiss the top of his hair and he sighed happily.

“So we tell her when?”

“Come home with me?” Geralt suggested. “She knows I was on a date.”

“It has been a long date,” Jaskier hummed thoughtfully, and it really had. Geralt had arrived mid-morning at it was now late afternoon bordering on early evening. “Won’t she be worried about you?”

Geralt chuckled and Jaskier felt his heart race faster in his chest. Geralt’s laugh was so warm, rough and woefully underused. It always made Jaskier’s day when he could make Geralt laugh so freely. “Yennefer took her to the zoo. She thought we might need the extra time.”

Jaskier giggled. “I cannot imagine Yennefer Vengerberg at the zoo!” He laughed harder as he pressed his face against Geralt’s bare shoulder.

“Why?”

“Oh I don’t know,” he grinned, placing a kiss on Geralt’s shoulder. “She seems too classy for the zoo.”

Geralt threaded his fingers through Jaskier’s hair and he hummed in contentment. He’d always enjoyed it when his partners played with his hair. The gentle tug at his scalp just turned him to goo. If he was a cat he was sure he’d be purring. As it was he couldn’t stop the happy hum in his chest.

“No one is too classy for the zoo,” Geralt said with such sincerity that Jaskier let out a peal of laughter and rolled onto the mattress next to Geralt. He felt Geralt roll onto his side and their eyes met. Geralt was smirking at him with mirth in his eyes.

Jaskier was overwhelmed with the love that was in his heart. In reality his time with Geralt really hadn’t been that long at all but it had just been blissful. Their forbidden romance seemed to have extended their honeymoon period and he still felt as gooey over his boyfriend as he had the first time he’d seen Geralt enter his classroom ten months prior.

“Quite right, dear. I love the zoo,” he sighed longingly. It had been ages since he had been.

“Next time we’ll go.” Geralt suggested. “I like the animals.”

“Deal. Ooh does this mean I finally get to meet Roach?!” He cried in excitement, a smile lighting up his face.

Geralt nodded. “She doesn’t like new people though. Don’t get your hopes up.”

Jaskier reached over to kiss Geralt and then rest his forehead against Geralt’s. “Of course not, darling.”

“Good…” Geralt paused. “Darling.”

Jaskier’s heart clenched in his chest and he buried his face in one of the pillows of the bed, making sadly incoherent noises that he wasn’t proud of. “Geralt!!” He whined pitifully. “You can’t just say things like that!”

Geralt scoffed. “You do all the time.”

Jaskier glared at him with a pout. He could feel the heat of the blush on his cheek. “Yeah, well…”

“Don’t worry.” Geralt smirked, kissing Jaskier’s temple. “I don’t think pet names are my thing.”

Jaskier pouted. “Hmmph.”

Reluctantly he rolled off the bed and pulled Geralt to his feet. With one last kiss he let Geralt get dressed. His boyfriend really did need to get back to Ciri and apparently Jaskier was going to be re-introduced to the young girl as her father’s new boyfriend; only a day after the term had finished.

Jaskier wasn’t nervous. Why would he be? Ciri loved him… as her teacher. Oh gods, he was going to fuck this up so badly. His heart was racing, and not in the good I’m in love way. Oh no. No, no, no, no.

He gasped a breath and leant against the wall. Geralt’s arms wrapped around his waist in an instance. “Breathe, Jaskier.”

Jaskier breathed, trying to match his breath with Geralt’s. “Sorry,” he mumbled when the worst of it was over.

“What happened?”

“What if she doesn’t like me?” He asked, his voice sounding pathetic even to his ears.

“She adores you, Jaskier.” Geralt nuzzled his neck gently. “She was disappointed when I said it wasn’t you.”

Jaskier groaned. “She’ll hate that you lied to her.”

“She’ll come round.” Geralt insisted.

“How are you so calm?” He snapped.

Geralt sighed. “Because she’s my daughter and she loves me, and she adores you.”

Jaskier nodded. “Ok. Ok. Yes. Let’s do this, before I run away and decide to live in a cave with just my lute for company.”

Geralt scoffed. “Always so dramatic.”

Jaskier managed a smile at that, even after his little wobble of anxiety. “You wouldn’t have me any other way.”

__________________

They were standing, hand in hand, outside Geralt’s house. Geralt and Ciri’s house. Jaskier hadn’t been here since the beginning of May when Ciri had been away with Yennefer. Ciri wasn’t away this time and they were about to reveal everything to her. He curled his toes in his shoes and hummed nervously under his breath. Geralt’s house suddenly seemed a lot larger than it had before.

Geralt squeezed his hand. “It’ll be fine, Jask.”

He nodded and took a deep breath. “I know. I know. I trust you.”

“Come on then. You’ll stay for dinner?”

Jaskier nodded again. “But I should probably go home after dinner. I imagine we’ll both need our own space by then.”

Geralt chuckled quietly. “Yeah. Ready?”

“Yes?” Jaskier’s voice squeaked a little, much to his embarrassment.

“Good.” Geralt moved to unlock the front door but it opened before he could get the key in the lock.

Yennefer stood on the other side with her hands on her hips. She was smirking at them both, looking far too evilly delighted for Jaskier’s liking.

“MR JASKIER!!” Ciri shrieked and there was a blur of blonde hair before Jaskier was knocked flying by the young girl.

He laughed nervously and hugged her back. “Hello, Ciri.”

“I knew it was you!!” She screamed happily. “Dad said it wasn’t but I knew it was you!”

“You don’t mind?” Jaskier asked, tentatively patting his former student on the back as she clung onto him.

Ciri pulled back and looked up at him. Her nose was scrunched up and she pouted. “Why would I mind?”

“Well, because I was your teacher and now I’m dating your father?” Jaskier stammered. He glanced at Geralt who just raised a knowing eyebrow at him. The bastard had known this would happen.

Ciri rolled her eyes and scoffed. “So? Everyone will be jealous. You’re the best teacher at school!”  She announced as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

He laughed at the ridiculousness of it all. “Maybe you shouldn’t boast too much about it Ciri. It’s not kind.”

Ciri just stuck her tongue out at him. He stuck his tongue out right back at her and she giggled.

“Jaskier’s right, princess. It would be best if you don’t tell everyone just yet,” Geralt said as he scooped her up into a hug.

“But it’s Mistle’s birthday party next week!” She pouted.

“Ciri,” Yennefer sighed, brushing the young girl’s hair out of her eyes. “Can we trust you to keep this a secret for now?”

Ciri scrunched her nose but nodded. “Ok, but only if we can go back to see the lions at the zoo! They were my favourite.”

Jaskier met Geralt’s eyes and smiled. “Well, buttercup, funny you should say that….”

____________

Next

[nataliedanovelist]

GF - All Star

Summary: A deep, dark secret about Ford is slowly revealed to his family, and he’s not ready.

For Skaleigh, wherever she may be...

~~~~~~~~~~

A few days after Weirdmegeddon, Ford was exiting the basement, taking a break from cleaning it out today. Stan had been recovering from his memory loss beautifully and so Ford decided to get a certain chore done on this rainy day. He could hear something, however, that made him freeze as a shiver ran down his spine and his race turned as red as his sweater.

“... start coming and they don't stop coming,

Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running.

Didn't make sense not to live for fun.

Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.”

Recognizing who’s voice that was, Ford began to relax. The sweet smell of vanilla and sugar graced his schnoz and he followed the music to the kitchen. There, Mabel was in her little pink apron over her sprinkle-sweater, dancing around the kitchen as she mixed icing with food coloring in little bowls. The radio was playing on the kitchen table, a little dirty with flour, and the whole kitchen was a mess, but Ford couldn't help but smile at his beautiful niece as her hair flew everywhere as she danced and sang her heart out. When the chorus came, she banged her head and put the bowl of light-blue icing on the counter to dance more freely.

“Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play!

Hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid!

And all that glitters is gold!

Only shooting stars break the mold.”

At the words “shooting stars”, Mabel attempted a flip and fell on her face, just like she did at the dance party at the beginning of summer. Ford winced and made a move towards her, slightly emerging from his hiding spot at the doorway, but stopped when Mabel sprung up, unhurt, and declared to herself and the kitchen, “I’m okay!” Her eyes landed on her uncle and she grinned. “Grunkle Ford! Whatcha doin’?”

“I thought I would take a break from cleaning.” Ford explained casually with a shrug while Mabel turned down the radio a little so they could talk better. “Having fun?”

“Yeah!” Mabel pointed to the twelve cupcakes that were cooling on the stove and said, “I’m making everyone a snack. Want one?”

“I would love one, my dear. Thank you.”

“Ah, ah.” Mabel wiggled a finger at him. “You have to do something for it, first.”

Ford raised an eyebrow at her and held his cleft chin. “Oh?”

Mabel opened the drawer she knew Ford kept his apron in and pulled out his old My Other Oven is a Bunsen apron. “You have to decorate the cupcakes with me.”

Ford grinned and happily accepted the protective clothing against stains. “Well, I suppose it’s only fair that I help you if I’m going to have one. Do we have to share with Stanley and Dipper?”

“Nope!” Mabel giggled. “We can eat them all ourselves! Six each!”

Ford laughed alongside her and she gave him a small bowl of white icing to color however he wanted. He carefully added a few drops of green, seeing how Mabel had already made blue and red and was working on yellow, and she began to dance a little again and she jumped into song.

“Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas?

I need to get myself away from this place.

I said ‘Yep what a concept,

I could use a little fuel myself,

And we could all use a little change.’”

Ford chuckled, mixing the icing, and he couldn’t help himself; he made himself jump in.

“Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming,

Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running.

Didn't make sense not to live for fun.

Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.”

Mabel gasped in shock for a number of reasons. A) She had never heard Grunkle Ford sing before. 2) She didn’t think he would know this song, let alone the words. And D) His voice was actually very pretty. Mabel grinned and they happily sang together until the song changed to a commercial for Cam’s Camshafts and they began to decorate the cupcakes.

~~~~~~~~~~

Stan yawned as he stretched his tired limbs. He had been sitting out on the deck of the Stan O’ War II, watching the sun set, and he was now in a sleepy trance. Time to put on some warm, fuzzy pajamas and turn on the little TV in the kitchen.

Stan went into his shared bedroom and stopped when he accidentally walked in on Ford in a towel, his back to the entrance and unaware of the intruder as he dug through his drawer for new clothes. Stan was careful to be quiet and give his jumpy brother some space, planning on leaving him alone, but something caught his eye.

During the Stanswitch, Ford insisted on Stan turning away, uncomfortable with what his twin might see. Despite Stan’s insistence that it wasn’t anything he hadn’t seen before, Ford practically begged him not to look, so Stan went along with it until he had shed his suit, leaving only his dark pants and undershirt, and he turned to switch clothes, but he found Ford bent over, his back littered with dozens of ugly cars, trophies for surviving out in the Multiverse for thirty years. Stan had thought that this was the reason for Ford’s modesty and thick sweaters (and okay, sure, the guy had always been a little chilly), but maybe there was another reason.

Stan grinned. No. Way. He slipped away, deciding he would enjoy making fun of Ford when he would least expect it, and he immediately left for the kitchen silently and quickly texted Dipper and Mabel.

A few weeks past since Stan knew Ford’s secret and he had pocketed it away as his “secret weapon”; of course, Dipper and Mabel knew and Stan wished he could have seen the looks on their faces or heard them laugh, but oh well. The kids swore to keep it between the two of them, but Stan wouldn’t be surprised if all of Gravity Falls kenw at this point. Something to look forward to this summer.

Stan had half-forgotten about Ford’s secret until they were at a small shop in Liverpool, England and something jogged the old conman’s memory. A CD was sitting in a 50% off bucket and Stan could have sworn a beam of light from Heaven was shining on the little box. Stan snatched it and hid it in his jacket for later.

The next day Stan couldn’t wait any longer. They were gently coasting on the Irish Sea, the spring weather being warm and calm and pleasant. Ford was out on the deck, reading a map, and Stan sat their radio down, the disc already in place. “Hey Sixer,” It took everything in Stan to hide his snicker. “Mind if I play some music?”

Ford hardly looked up from the map. “Huh? Oh sure, Stanley. Go ahead.”

With the biggest grin Stan had probably ever made in his life, he pressed play.

SomeBODY once told me the world is gonna roll me,

I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed.

Ford’s polydactyl hands clenched the map so tightly it nearly destroyed the papered material. He lowered it as his face blushed so furiously it matched his maroon sweater perfectly. Sweat was dripping from his forehead profoundly, his eyebrows were nearly hidden in his fluffy hair, they were so high, and his eyes were as wide as dinner plates.

Stan snorted, trying to contain his laughter just a little bit longer. “You like this song, don't you? Oh man, here comes my FAVORITE part!” And to make sure he could embarrass his brother as much as he could, Stan sang along.

“Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play!

Hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid!

And all that glitters is gold! (I like gold.)

Only shooting stars break the mold.”

And then Stan couldn’t hold it any longer. He busted into a huge fit of laughter, holding his ribs and wheezing as Ford sheepishly lowered his head into the map and hid in shame. When the song was over and Stan was slowing down in his laughing, Ford snapped and spun around, crumpling the map down and scowling.

“How did you find out?!” He demanded, still incredibly red in the face, even his ears were pink.

“I’m your twin, Genius,” Stan huffed, whipping his eyes dry of tears. “I’m bound to notice a couple of things when stuck on a boat with you. I gotta ask, though, why in Moses’ name…”

“It wasn’t intentional, I can assure you of that.” Ford said to try to preserve his dignity. “I had fought a battle alongside a tribe of octopus-armed warrior piglets since they shared their food and water with me. They were quite friendly, unlike the gang of penguin-finned lizards we encountered. It is customary for their tribe to have a grand party after a battle is won in which they all get tattoos. I had misjudged how… erm, intoxicated their drinks would make me, and when it was my turn to get a tattoo of my choosing, I had a certain song stuck in my head and sung it out loud, so the artist delivered my drunken request."

Stan burst into another fit of laughter, one that oddly sounded friendlier than the last one. Like, Ford was supposed to laugh with him. Ford, despite still being very red and embarrassed, couldn’t help but smile. “Oh, man! That’s gotta be your best story from out in the Multiverse yet!”

Ford saw that as a challenge and sat in one of the chairs to get comfortable. “I can think of at least five better stories.”

Stan quickly sat in the other chair like an excited child for a new movie and Ford dove into telling of some of the more fun-filled adventures he had experienced.

~~~~~~~~~~

Summer of 2014 was upon them and the Pines couldn’t be happier. The kids were joyous to be where they felt at home, and even though the old sailors were living the dream, it would be nice to take a three-month break and see their favorite pair of twins.

About two weeks after an emotional reunion, the kids were gently reminded of something they had on their Summer bucket-list.

Much like Stan, they planned their little attack carefully so they may truly enjoy their uncle’s misery. The gift shop was open, but slow. Wendy was behind the counter, Soos was reading a comic book and sitting on a closed barrel, and Dipper and Mabel were grinning like crazy on the porch, the screen door wide open. Mabel popped the CD in the radio and turned up the volume.

SomeBODY once told me the world is gonna roll me,

I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed.

She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb

In the shape of an "L" on her forehead.

Mabel immediately jumped into rap-like singing, dancing around the porch. Dipper chuckled, hands in his pocket and tapping his foot, but Soos laughed, put down the comic, and took Mabel’s hands to dance. They giggled as they tried to sing along, and at the chorus they stopped dancing so they could sing the lyrics as loud as they could.

“Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play!

Hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid!

And all that glitters is gold! 

Only shooting stars break the mold.”

Wendy was banging her head, red hair flying everywhere. Stan suddenly showed up in his boxers and slippers, grinning, and said over the music, “I was awoken by the sound of mockery through pop music! I want in!” He bumped his hips against Dipper to make him move and he danced obnoxiously, making his nephew laugh and dance a little more enthusiastically. 

A little later, at the halfway point of the song, Ford stood at the screen door with a puzzled look. “What’s going on…?”

“Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play!

Hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid!

And all that glitters is gold! (I like gold.)

Only shooting stars…”

Ford looked like he had a sunburn on his entire face. He swallowed, making his Adam’s Apple bobble, and his jaw was tight. Stan laughed at his face and hollered, “THERE’S the man of the hour!”

“Come on, Stan Two, you love this song, right?” Wendy teased.

“Oh no…”

“C’mon, Dr. Pines, wanna dance?” Soos asked, still dancing with Mabel.

“Oh, here comes my favorite part…” Mabel chimed in.

“Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play!

Hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid!

And all that glitters is gold!

Only shooting stars break the mold.”

Ford slammed the door shut. The five were as still as statues, wincing a little. “Did we take it too far?” Dipper asked.

“Ah, let the big baby be mad for a minute if he wants to.” Stan said, ruffing up his hat. “I’ll go talk to him in a minute…”

But then the door was kicked open by Ford’s boot and his friends and family were startled to find him heavily armed with water guns. “ONLY SHOOTING STARS BREAK THE MOLD!” He sang, and then shot everyone with water.

Everyone broke into hefty laughter and ran for it. The old scientist was hot on their tails, but Mabel managed to slip away to the closet filled with emergency water-guns and balloons. She hurried back to the battle and tossed everyone some weapons, and soon it was a confused mess of soaked clothes, loud laughter, and exploding balloons.

At one point during the fun fight, he paused to take off his glasses and wipe the water from them. Mabel accidentally bumped into his leg and smiled sheepishly at him, expecting to be sprayed without mercy, but Ford hoisted her up in his shoulders and they worked together. Up three feet higher than she was used to being, Mabel could see things she normally couldn’t. Like a certain tattoo barely poking out of the turtleneck, only visible because Mabel’s weight was pulling the sweater down enough. 

She smiled at it, finding it very pretty, and in the midst of the chaos, considered the idea of one day getting one herself.