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bonny-kookoo · 4 years

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Sweet Girl [J.JK x Reader]🔞🌼☁️

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Smut, angst because I like to cry myself to sleep

Warnings: dom/sub dynamics, dom!jungkook, sub!Reader, size kink is still strong, mild dd/lg themes, praise kink, long haired jungkook because yes that needs to be a warning, strength kink, they fuck in the kitchen smh

Jungkook and you are in a healthy relationship, managing all those things couples have to manage; building an IKEA bed, having your first fight, or arguing who should do the laundry this time. Apart from that, your life inside your bedroom has been pretty active as well, leaving Jungkook more satisfied than ever. He's not a horny teenager anymore after all, trying not to bust a nut just because he got a glimpse of your nipples through your rather thin shirt- yet you always manage to be so unbelievably sinful, he can't help but snatch a taste every now and then. After all, you're his- he's simply reminding you.

This is part of the 'Good Girl'-Universe!

Good Girl || Sweet Girl || Smart Girl || Brave Girl

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Jeon Jungkook and you loved to tease each other. From the way he would rub his sweat-soaked hair all over the crook of your neck playfully after his workout just to rile you up, just to exclaim happily that you love him too much to actually be serious when you yell that he's disgusting. And he's right- even if he's exhausting to be around sometimes with his seemingly endless energy (seriously, you're convinced at this point that he's the human embodiment of the energizer bunny), or how he could sometimes forget that you're not as tough as his other male friends that he was regularly around. You catch yourself laughing inside yourself every time you turn into a crybaby and tear up when a comment gets under your skin, because his entire body changes posture- every time he notices you getting hurt because he's too rough while playfighting, or when he again tells you you could just get your chubby butt up and work out with him, completely ignoring the fact that he knows its a very sensitive topic for you; he literally turns into a complete child who just got asked to explain rocket science. Jungkook isn't used to handle something as fragile as a girl- plus, you play along and usually brush off most things so easily, that he simply sometimes forgets that you actually have weak points.

One of these moments occured early on in your relationship; it was a silly mistake on his side really. When Taehyung asked him straight up if he was dating you, you didn't expect a huge love proposal; Jungkook wasn't like that. But a simple yes would've been okay as well- yet Jungkook being the cocky bastard he was, simply made a comment along the lines of 'nah, I'm just screwing her.' It was meant as a joke really, and it took him a good thirty seconds to notice your demeanor changing. Deep inside you, you knew he didn't mean it like that, yet it still hit you hard, especially considering his past hobby of trying to be the biggest manwhore around. When he'd went after you just when you had told him you'd be using the bathroom and not returning after a good ten minutes, he'd bursted into the womans bathrooms just in time to see you trying to wipe away your tears. His face had been priceless really now that you thought about it; before that moment you always had a hard time imagining that 'kicked puppy look' people always talked about- he didn't look like you just kicked him, but full on sucker punched his prized playstation out of orbit just for a laugh. He was totally unprepared and clearly had no idea what to do in that moment, never having needed to deal with tears in that way- and your face had hit him especially hard, considering how it was his fault at that. Considering how lost he really was he dealt with it quite sweetly, yet in a typical Jungkook fashion- uncaring of other woman and girls trying to get into the bathroom, he'd grabbed a considerable amount of tissue paper from the dispenser next to the sink you were standing in front of, promptly sitting you on top of it to properly have you at eye-level with him to wipe away your tears and smeared make up, telling you how you looked better without it anyways, and how sorry he was for being an utter asshole and idiot at the same time. You honestly started laughing at that. Not necessarily his comment even though it was true, but his extremely concentrated face, as if he was restoring an ancient artwork or something the likes of that. He audibly sighed at that, glad to know you didn't hate him. Because that was his innermost fear; you probably seeing the dickbag he thought he was underneath and leaving him for good. Not that he'd tell you that. You knew of that fear though.

Needless to say, it wasn't the only thing that happened between you both. Yet you've always overcome these things with ease, both of you growing surprisingly mature about arguments as time went on. Jungkook changed you as well- you were a wallflower before, and if you were honest, you kind of still were. But you were carrying yourself with a newfound confidence because of his daily praises- turning heads every now and then simply because you actually liked yourself these days. And Jungkook noticed as well- always commenting on how he didn't know if he liked the change or not, considering how much attention you now got everywhere you both went. You simply countered that with a simple comment along the lines of 'Now you know how I feel', because he was glowing up every month it seemed. Yet he stayed true to his words back then to you; he really did only have eyes for you anymore.

What really did piss him off was just how innocent you could be sometimes. It had him fuming how oblivious you could seem to others shamelessly flirting with you, yet he knew that he loved that about you just as much. The fact that you would willingly (and happily of course) let him corrupt you over and over again fuled his pride to no ends, making him feel like he was your knight in shining armor, even if it sounded sappy. Right now however he could really use some more patience, because he was sure his own amount was slowly running out. When he came back home, he didn't really have any plans, except for the one you had already agreed on. You both wanted to cook something tonight, nothing fancy, simply craving some kind of 'bonding time' as you called it, even though he had immediately told you this could be done in a different way, to which you blushed. He loved making you embarrassed, almost craving the way your flustered cheeks would turn into a beautiful red shade.

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He knew those plans would change however as soon as he spotted you on the couch in his living room. That itself wasn't something new since you lived here, but the attire you chose was rather.. unfair. He was supposed to keep it in his pants tonight, yet he could already feel himself rising against the fabric of his sweatpants at the view of you in a black shirt of his, oversized on your way smaller body. Yet that exactly did it- because that was all you wore, apart from your flimsy pair of pastel blue lace rimmed panties. You raised your head from out of your book and he was a goner as soon as he saw those eyes.

"Babydoll you're being really unfair right now." He groaned as he sat down on the couch, making you bounce a bit next to him. You looked at him confused, his patience snapping. Maybe it was his frustration that had filled up his mind during the day, or simply his habit of taking what he wanted when he wanted it, but soon enough you found yourself on his lap, your legs on either side of his. His hands were fast to reach under your, or more so his shirt, growling when he felt your bare breasts underneath his fingers. You really were asking for it.

Stop. Mission abort. Cancel all open tasks. Shutdown, emergency-

With a sigh the young boy detached himself from you, running a hand through his hair rather agressively. Even though he would usually not feel too bad about his actions, especially with you, considering he felt rather safe and comfortable around you, he had to remember the small argument you both had the night prior. It really hadn't even been an argument if he was being honest, and it was basically all on him that night, yet he felt like he needed to second-guess his actions now. It had been a simple question really, admittedly a fair one at that, however, it also was one he rather feared answering. Yes, Jeon Jungkook was actually scared of a mere question.

'Why won't you kiss me?'

Well, yeah. Why wouldn't he? To answer that would mean to expose himself, to open himself up, to be vulnerable- and even though he knew deep down that you would never use anything against him in an almost predatory meanor others in the past had, he couldn't shake the feeling off. The fear, of what he couldn't tell. He simply waved you off, telling you that you both didn't need those sappy gestures, and you had simply nodded, accepting that, even though he knew that you felt hurt by his answer. Hell, he felt hurt by his own answer. And what had hurt him even more was your reaction to it; somehow he wanted you to be offended, to openly dig at his wounds, to scratch at his scars and make him spill his blood into your hands. He didn't want you to feel like he only loved you physically, like he only wanted to own your body, because he craved so much more than your touchable form. He wanted to build his home into your very soul, wanted to surround himself with your voice and live in your very heartbeat- yet it didn't matter how romantic and oh-so poetic his own thoughts could be. It didn't matter at all if he couldn't say it.

He looked at you, internally cringing at the way you looked at him, utterly confused. You'd gotten so used to him using you that it made his own saliva taste bitter, making him crinkle his brows a little. "I-" He started, yet took a deep breath, his eyes aimlessly dancing over the plush carpet, analyzing the various shades of light brown it presented to him. Right now he hated it. Hated how it made his apartment, your apartment feel like home. He hated how it did fit into the living room even though he'd complained about you buying it, arguing that you started to take over his life back then when you both didn't even date each other. He hated how he fell in love with it after he'd seen you lay on it with your phone in hand, the small white fan in the corner of the room softly blowing your hair and clothes during the summer. He hated how he remembered spilling his soda on it one day, freaking out because he knew even if he would cover it up you'd notice, you always noticed. Just like now. Because the hand you'd placed on his shoulder as a form of comfort had never felt so heavy on him, like a brick trying to force his entire back down. "M' sorry.." He simply grunted out, putting his head in his hands.

"What're you sorry for?" You had laughed a bit uneasy, and he hated the sound of it. He always pictured himself as the man who was oh-so protective of you, yet right now he'd never felt so small. "Is it about yesterday? You don't have to change Jungkookie, I don't mind-" Yet he had to shut you up, turning a bit to look at you with a face melted into a vision of being thrown side by side by your own thoughts. This was exactly the issue. You didn't mind- and he knew that you didn't even lie about that- it made everything so much worse.

The nickname, the way you said it, the way you meant it- it all just punched his guts even harder. Instead of answering he simply took your face in his hands, placing his lips onto yours with so much emotion you could feel them trembling. His kisses turned into more than simple pecks, they turned into desperate cries of confusion, of insecurity, of so many things you would've never associated Jungkook with. Slowly your bodies fell into place again, with him laying you down on your back, a pillow falling down and knocking a fork down from the small table, yet none of you cared about it in that moment. As soon as you reached for his belt he'd grabbed your hand, holding them with such care. "No no- I-" He said, switching between kissing and talking. "I want to- no, I need to make love to you, yeah?" You squeaked at his sudden movement when he'd picked you up, trying to carry you to the shared bedroom, yet aborting that mission as well by simply sitting you ontop of the kitchen counter, the marbled stone cold underneath your butt. You gasped into the open air, the way he'd just lifted you with such ease making you feel so small- in every good way possible. Yet even though this wasn't the first time making out in the kitchen, this was new- to both of you. He had no clue what to actually do, exploring new territory as well as you did in that moment, never having gone slow before. Yet he slowly eased into it, his arms leading his hands over your exposed skin, fingers softly squeezing the flesh of your thighs. His kisses started to wander, caressing your neck, yet even though his dominant side was starting to show the more comfortable he got with what he was doing, you noticed a slight difference in his demeanor. His arms weren't limiting your movement, weren't moving you around to his hearts content- even though you would never complain about that- they were around you, his hands on your back, bunching up the fabric of his shirt in his hands, then letting go just to repeat like a kneading cat. "You're so sweet, so so sweet, did I ever tell you that?" He whispered almost like a secret, and you felt like he was bewitching you in a weird way. "Wanna keep you all to myself, wanna hide you like a secret." He said lowly, almost growled, and you felt yourself slowly fall for his word with every sound he made. "But I also wanna show you everyone, wanna show everyone how lucky I am, how I got the prettiest and sweetest of them all." He said, hands wandering up his shirt you were wearing, running over your soft breasts, squeezing them softly and relishing in the way they felt under his fingertips. He always loved your skin, even though you'd complained before how you disliked the slight chub on your lower belly, or how your thighs were thicker than most girls your height. Yet he couldn't find anything wrong with it, loving the way it gave you such a soft vibe and feel. This was you, every little flaw that you were seeing he saw as another thing to love about you, as sappy as it sounded. "You're my good girl, my best girl.." He said before he started to move your already ruined panties to the side, his fingers exploring your heat. "My only girl." He said, making you mewl into his neck, hands now grabbing his shirt for a change. He made you shuffle a bit closer towards him, standing between your legs while his tattooed hand pushed two fingers inside you, reaching to make you feel good, yet never going the usual pace.

"Jungkoo-ah- Jungkookie please-!" You sighed, and he simply chuckled, kissing your neck, down to your collarbone where he playfully nipped at the skin, loving the sounds you were making. "No no no, I wanna go slow yeah? Wanna make love babydoll, we got time.." He said, and you shot him a pout, making him laugh. "Come on I'm trying to be romantic here!" He said, and you reached for his jeans again- making him move your hands away again. "Nuh-uh. Good girls are patient. You can wait right, pretty girl?" He said playfully, making you pout again. He couldn't help but comply with you. How could he not? He loved you. He really did. Fuck, he really, really did. Undoing his belt and letting his pants fall to his knees along with his underwear, he reached for your butt, making you shimmy even closer to him so he could swiftly enter you, making both of you gasp out both in anticipation and relief from your side for getting your way.

The simple view he had of your form speared on his cock was the sole reason he loved every position that made him look at you. The picture in front of him just was too presious yet sinful to be wasted. He wished he could take a picture of it actually, yet he decided against it, having heard his phone fall out of the back pocket of his jeans before, and he was kind of too terrified to see his screen cracked yet. He also couldn't really think about it, the way your walls engulfed him occupying his mind almost completely. His arms encaved you, holding you against him as close as possible, creating a safe haven for you and your mindset. You always slipped into some sort of headspace whenever his praise and affection got to a certain point- something that had terrified you at first, making you feel a bit embarrased as well- yet Jungkook had assured you that it was completely okay and normal, having googled it someday back when he'd been bored on his phone. It was actually quite endearing that your mind trusted him enough to slip into such a vulnerable state, his pride feeding off if it to no end.

He wanted to go slow, yet by the end of it his pace had quickened to his typical ruthless tempo, making you gasp out bursts of breath against his neck, hands clawing at his shoulder blades though the material of his shirt, grabbing onto him for dear life, while on your fast lane to release. When he came himself his breathing got erratic from oversensitivity, yet he ignored it to bring you over the edge as well, even making you ride it out to its fullest afterwards. When you slowly deflated against him, hands simply reaching out for his body, he softly cooed at you, completely enchanted by you in your post-orgasmic bliss. Suddenly he laughed, resting his head in the crook of your neck. "God, why am I like this?" He said, soft smile turning bitter. "Can't even be soft for one fucking time." Yet your hand softly ran through his now slightly damp locks, head turning to look at him with so much endearment he could cry- well, he actually felt his eyes start to sting, but he swallowed them down.

"You don't have to, Jungkookie." You softly said, and he wanted to argue. "Don't change. You're perfect just the way you are. I love you either way. Doesn't matter if you buy me roses or screw me in the kitchen. I take any love you give me." He suddenly laughed, and his eyes turned into sparkling half moons, his bunny smile almost blinding you.

"God I love you."

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"Jungkookie?"

"hm?"

"I'm hungry."

"There's leftovers in the oven."

"You're not gonna treat me some chicken nuggets?"

"Tomorrow maybe. Its too late now baby."

"Come on, be a sweet baby-boy and do it-"

"Careful sweetheart."

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IT.IS.FINALLY.OUT.Thank you all so so much for waiting so patiently, I really didn't expect all of you to even stay, let alone shower me with all of your support- I really didn't deserve that! I hope I didn't dissapoint too much with it, since I didn't check for spelling errors :( I love you all, and I hope you're all staying safe and healthy during these times! Remember that spreading love begins with self-love, and self-love begins with small steps 💜

#jungkook #bts #bts fanfic #bts jungkook fanfic #jungkook imagine #dom!Jungkook #sub!read #jungkook x reader #bts imagine #bts smut #jungkook smut #bts fluff #bts angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst

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nightswithkookmin · 4 years

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JIKOOK DYNAMICS: JIMIN'S LOVE LANGUAGE

PREFACE

In my previous post, I shared my thoughts on what I think is Jikook's love language, specifically Jungkook's; and how in my estimation Jimin is the only member within BTS that speaks it, comes close to speaking it and most importantly makes the effort to speak it.

In this post, I attempt to outline what I think is Jimin's love language and show the various ways I feel JK speaks it or comes close to speaking it more so than the others in BTS.

Now I have to state for the record that I do not know or purport to know Jimin or Jungkook or any of these members herein mentioned in any way special and personal other than through the content we all consume on them.

Nor do I intend to be malicious or disrespectful towards them with this post, to intend to strip away their individuality for the sake of shipping symmetry.

Thus, I reiterate, everything I express in here is my thoughts, my observations and my opinion and I pray you treat it as such.

Let the records show, also that, I will bug spray any fake woke wannabe edgy shipper with a Tuktukker complex that takes my words out of context, misconstrue it to suit their own agenda and then turn around to call me out for it. In the name of Jesus, I will avada kedabra your ass. Seriously.

JIMIN

I've always been fascinated by Jimin. By the person he is. And although I do not have a comprehensive understanding of this man's inner workings, he's got to be the most complex and frankly interesting character I've come across in all my shipping years.

His duality is confusing and coupled with his Libra energy, his character and personality can be and is quite often misconstrued and misinterpreted within the shipping community.

He is friendly, cute, funny, beautiful and ship compatible with anyone.

Very often, I find, most people cannot tell his personality from his idol self slash persona or even his love language from his affectionate nature; thus resulting in these bizzare fallacies and ridiculous assumptions about him such as: he is a flirt, hoe, clingy, homewrecker, attention seeker and a plethora of slurs and sobriquet that's defamatory and slanderous at best- its ridiculous.

I get that not everyone likes him and as such wouldn't hesitate to filter his words and actions through arbitrary metrics to arrive at conclusions that profits them and does nothing but help them make sense of their hate- Y'all don't love yourselves enough.

Not to say he is my bias therefore he is perfect. That would be a blunder. He has his shortcomings, he is human after all. What I'm saying is most people don't get him and as such read him wrong?

What's more discombobulating, is the stan who swears up and down they know Jimin well enough but don't see him treating JK any different from the rest of the boys in BTS therefore Jikook isn't real- insert shook pikachu face.

Then there are those stans with genuine shipping concerns about the love dynamics between the two:

Those that feel JM gives more to JK than he receives back. That he is more supportive of JK than JK is of him. Very often, these people would bring up the issue of JK not promoting Promise when it first came out as evidence of this- it's been years let it go.

JK not being as vocal and open about his feelings and interest in JM the way Jimin is and has been about JK is also another area of concern for these stans. If you try to explain to them its because JK is/was shy they will kick- your- ass. Hell, I will kick your ass too. I'll explain later.

Some people also- I know I have at one point- have described JK's interest in and descriptions of JM as a bit shallow and vain compared to how the other members speak of Jimin.

To them, the other members usually talk about how smart and intelligent JM is, how kind and nurturing he is. How much of himself he gives to them. That the way the members talk about Jimin often helps give us a glimpse into the real Park Jimin as distinct from the persona we see on the screens.

But then there is JK: JM hyung is sexy. He has pretty eyes. 'I want you.' Then he proceeds to drool over the Jibooty, squeeze them legs shut tight while struggling to sit through a Jimin solo dance without popping boners left right left around Jimin- Bless him.

I mean, dude nearly snapped his neck trying to catch a glimpse of the Ji-abs in the middle of a performance? Damn.

To be fair, the other members don't talk like this about Jimin and sexualise Jimin as often as JK does because, they don't want to screw Jimin's brains out? Cough, cough. Hashtag save Jimin from JK. Lol

If JK is sexually attracted to Jimin, how else do you expect him to express that? Never mind that he's done some of these things subconsciously at times. You know what...

Y'all need to give this man a break!

[RANT]

He was a hormonal teen- he is still relatively pretty young. It's ridiculous to expect and demand such high level of maturity from a 16/17 year old experiencing a nonplatonic love for the first time in his life and more so in an unforgiving and invasive environment such as that in which he found himself.

Jk and Jimin found each other before they found themselves and it's unreasonable to think that that didn't have a toll on their relationship dynamics. They are human.

They are each growing and maturing at different paces. Their relationship has suffered through its growing pains; Certainly, one person is going to appear lacking in one or two areas in one way shape or form and at any given point in their love journey. That doesn't make them less real.

Again, their careers and the pursuit of it haven't exactly given them the space, time or normalcy to explore what they are and who they are in a functional way, in my opinion.

Everything is moving fast in their world, everything is highly exaggerated and highly scrutinized. Kpop is not exactly a healthy space to foster a healthy relationship and it would be a miracle if any of them should come out unscathed.

Neither one of them went searching for this love thingy nor were they even experienced enough to look at their relationship beyond the convenience of it and the excitement of it- The orgasms were enough reason for them, I think.

I get uncomfortable when some Jikookers, out of good intentions, claim Jikook knew what they were doing, should have known therefore could have known the consequences of them coupling up in a group like BTS before entering into their relationship- let me stop you right there!

While this assumption may seem like a compliment to them it also perpetuates the adultification of early days Jikook which I find disturbing.

They were teens not grown adults when they fell in love. We can't expect and demand such level of maturity from them at that age as cool as that would have made them.

They don't need to be cool to be real. They don't need to be mature to be real.

Jikook is real regardless of whether they were thoughtful or not thoughtful about the consequences of them choosing to date in a group setting, or a homophobic society at the onset of their relationship.

It's ridiculous to dismiss what they are now on the grounds that S.K is a homophobic society or that dating a coworker is not inconsequential.

People date their coworkers all the time and there are gay couples in S.K.

Jikook were too young to comprehend the consequences of dating because which teen worries about all of that before popping one off for the lord? On which planet, sir/ma'am??Were they thinking with their 'ducks?' I believe so. But again, that doesn't make them any less real.

From what I can tell anyway, 2018 was the year Jikook had anything resembling a serious thoughtful contemplation of the status of their relationship- Well, 2018 and this later half of 2020 as some of you might have already noticed. More on this later.

But yes, this adultification of early days Jikook is absurd and needs to stop. And what's equally disturbing is the infantilization of the adult day Jikook- you can't expect Jikook dynamics to remain the same throughout the years. That's bizzare.

Don't expect them to be their same jeonlous, Jimlous, possessive selves. They are growing. They are evolving as individuals and as a pair.

I side eye the fuck out of these fake woke shippers and 'grown ups' who filter Jikook interactions through adult lens and tag moments like Jimlous and Jeonlous as toxic and unhealthy without taking into context where they were at in their love journey or even their age. What y'all think this is? Fiction? Get the fuck outta here.

Jikook have had to learn and grow on the Job and around their job and learn to love eachother under the scrutiny of severe cameras and weird Ahjummas. Leave them the fuck alone or I swear I will petrify your ass for an entire comeback season. Lol

[Rant over]

All that being said, I get it. The way JK talks about Jimin isn't exactly special or unique from the way the other's speak about Jimin. But it isn't exactly superficial either...

And yes, it's quite unsettling that he doesn't describe Jimin in a way that gives meaningful insight into Jimin's personality as distinct from the others', given as he has exclusive access to Jimin more so than any of the members- we have a lot to unpack today, don't we?

Then on the other hand, there are those who think the exact opposite and see JK as the one who gives more to their relationship. That JK takes their relationship more seriously than Jimin does. They see Jimin as a bit wishy-washy when it comes to his commitment to their relationship- this breaks my heart.

Often, such people will cite Jimin's flirty nature, his lack of boundaries with others amongst other things, to prove their point...

Grab a seat, this discussion is going to be a long one. Smiley face.

JIMIN'S LOVE LANGUAGE

Jimin first got on my alt-ship radar in Rookie King when he was given an opportunity to air any and all of his grievances accumulated over the years against any member or staff of BigHit but instead chose to use that opportunity to talk about JK and how JK's actions had been hurting him.

Prior to this, he was just my bias and I would casually ship him with Suga, V, RM and basically all the members- except JK. I just couldn't ship JK with anyone.

Back then, I had a vague sense of JM's personality but felt I knew enough about him to theorize on his love language and JK was the last person I thought of as capable of meeting those emotional needs of Jimin's.

Rookie King changed my mind.

Jimin wasn't just trying to squash his differences with JK, he was trying to get closer to him. To get emotionally intimate with him- this is one of the things that sparked my interest in their dynamics.

Because it wasn't as if they weren't close. They were. They had a skinship between them. Skinship, or lack of physical boundaries as I like to call it, is one of the means through which BTS achieve intimacy amongst them.

Jikook had that between them at the time, they went everywhere together, woke each other up- they were close.

Yet Jimin felt they weren't close enough. That there was a wall between them. Now, I see a lot of people misinterpret this period in the Jikook timeline as that Jimin was crushing hard on JK. He wasn't. In my opinion.

You see, Jimin was the last person to Join the band. This was bound to have an effect on his relationship dynamics with the rest of the members as he had missed out on two years worth of emotional connection and camaraderie with them.

He had had only one year to bond and get to know the others away from the cameras and in a way that could help him develop a sense of belongingness within the group.

Within this one year, he had school, voice training, and other activities that possibly got in the way of him truly building an intimate connection with the others.

He is the only member out of the seven whose intimacy journey got captured on camera. He had to foster a connection with the others with the cameras around.

But building a connection with people even in a platonic sense is quite an intimate and private process. It takes vulnerability, honesty, a willingness to submit and subject oneself to varying degrees of humiliation, a sacrifice of the self, ego and pride in a way that just strips you naked- metaphorically speaking.

And in Jimin's case, he had to go through this stage and process openly and with the cameras around- the second hand embarrassment I get from watching early days Park Jimin!

He literally had to be the clown of the group, the hufflepuff, the clingy one, the flirty one, the one with the abs, the loud and chatty one as well as all the tasteless epithets people now weaponize against him.

I believe, all he was trying to do at this stage was breach the barriers he felt existed between him and the others as the newcomer of the group so he didn't feel like an outsider.

That is his first love language- the need to belong. He has a strong desire to feel connected with people. He cares about people and connection. He's reiterated this throughout the years and even more loudly in the recent Japan interviews.

He wanted to be part of BTS both physically and emotionally. He wanted to fit in, to belong with them, to be accepted and viewed as one of the boys- BTS.

You could see this in the way he had adopted the mannerisms of the group- the skinship, the love language of the group if you will.

It is why when Suga complained about him not liking him as much, Jimin immediately drew closer to him and wrapped his hands around him, initiating skinship between them to show he liked him.

Jimin tried to speak the groups love language so he could bond with them but he also began to infuse his own love language.

If you've seen his relationship with his father you'd understand that Jimin expresses his love through giving, nurturing etc. It is how his primary care givers showed him love and so how he also shows and conveys his love.

The members have talked about how he would encourage them to talk, to open up, how he would listen to them, be there for them and give them gifts- the birthday gift exchange culture in BTS didn't exist until Jimin arrived in BTS.

What I'm trying to say is, Jimin has a distinct way of showing love that is unique from how everyone else in the group expresses their love. That, there is also an established love parlance within BTS that everyone speaks and that is skinship.

So when Jimin does skinship with any member he is not acting 'clingy' he is just speaking the love language that the group understands. But when Jimin nurtures and acts supportive and what not, he is speaking his own unique love language.

Now I have talked extensively about how Jimin expresses his in my last post so I will be focusing mainly on how he receives loves or what gestures he interprets as love.

And since there is a general consensus that VMin have an emotional connection, I will be referencing their relationship a lot for comparisons sake.

Tae is the only member Jimin got to spend the most time with around predebut without the intrusion of the cameras. This i feel allowed Tae room to strip back and be fully vulnerable with Jimin without reservation as is required of intimacy- which was not the case for Jikook hence JK shying away from interacting with JM in front of the cameras.

Jikook wasn't accorded the luxury of privacy VMin had to build their bond. Jikook had to build their bond with the camera's trailing them. How many times have we seen JK give death stares to the camera people for invading his me time with Jimin?

Not to be psychoanalytic but I feel, this is what induced the exhibitionist tendencies we see in them- or perhaps I'm wrong and this is just them being extra. Bless them.

Within the one year JM was trying to connect with JK through skinship, JK was also only coming around to understanding what skinship meant to him. They were evolving at different paces.

JK has the most walls in BTS. He wasn't just physically closed off to skinship in the early days forcing Tae to strip him naked in the bathroom, he was emotionally closed off too.

He is still pretty much emotionally closed off- he likes to put up walls. He had his own room at the dorm, does his own laundry, barely keeps in touch with the others or pick up the damn phone when they call etc.

Jk barely partakes in the group's established way of life except for perhaps the skinship. In my opinion.

It took JK a while to understand this culture of skinship though. And the members, all of them, had to push his boundaries further back in order to connect with him.

For instance, Jin pinching his nipples to wake him up, Tae doing- well, all of it. Go watch Taekook sexual tension edits, I dare you. You'll understand.

These members had three years off camera with JK to build a connection with him and even they were met with some resistance from JK.

All Jimin had was a year with JK. I feel Jimin lowkey coveted what the others had with JK and perhaps wanted to have that with him too. Why? Because of his need to belong and connect with people. Watching JK's dynamics with the others probably made him feel left out.

I also understand how this could have been overwhelming for young JK who was having both his physical boundaries and emotional boundaries breached at the same time by this person whom he he'd known for only a year.

That's just one of the major differences between Jikook and Taekook: while Tae was busy breaching the physical walls between him and JK, Jimin was attempting emotional heist on him. Bravo Jimin, Bravo.

So do I think at this point in 2013 that Jikook were falling in love or had fallen in love? NO. But what I took from that moment was that Jimin wanted and needed to feel a sense of belongingness with JK.

Mind you I said he wanted to belong, not owned. Freedom is a component of Jimin's love language. In as much as he wants to be kept he wants to be set free- To be be given the room and freedom to explore options and take risks without judgement and without sanctions.

This need is often misconstrued as him being noncommittal.

His need for freedom, I believe, stems from his being raised in a conservative home with parents that directed and dictated every facet of his life and wouldn't even allow him to pursue his passions until later. It took a while for his father to give him the go ahead to pursue his dream- which is performing on stage.

This is why I said in my last post that Jimin has a need to be in control of the decision making in a relationship. Being able to do as he pleases is important to him. Being able to control his own narrative is important to him. And the only person in BTS that permits him to have such authority over him is JK.

Now, I know you are going to say 'but JK is a bit possessive yadda yadda yadda'.

Listen, Jimin's need for freedom is inextricably linked with his fear of judgment and repercussion. What this means is, although he wants his freedom he is often afraid of what will happen if he should go for it.

As such, very often he wouldn't do anything without permission. Especially if he feels it's going to land him in trouble.

I fist noticed this in the 2014 Jikook bangtan bomb when he said he was starting to take a liking to JK but then right after he asked if JK was ok with that. Suga have also said, Jimin doesn't go out of his way to do things that makes people hate him- See this is why he needs JK. He could use some rebellion in his life.

However, this fear of sanctions often makes him complacent to and an accomplice in toxic behavioural patterns.

For instance, until recently, he would enable JK and encourage his acts of jealousy and possessiveness and even incite them at times. He would hold on to the thorns if it means keeping the rose.

But I see him asserting himself and demanding space within their relationship at times but when he does and JK withdraws he would act clingy around JK.

It is what Manila was about, what August 2019 was about and what April/May 2020 was about. I know some of y'all don't agree with my analysis on these moments, but I'm gonna have to stand by it.

Jimin is all about the balance of scales. The balance of needs and wants. The balance of fears and desires. It's just the Libra in him. Give him too much freedom and he will feel unwanted, hold on too tight and he would feel suffocated.

'I value my relationship. Spending time with my friends is gold' remember this shade?

Jimin's fear of Judgment comes from being a perfectionist and also being raised in a conservative home with a lot of expectations of him to be the model son as the elder male.

Thus, he instinctively gravitates towards people who are less judgy or have too much expectations of him.

Also, because he believes he has to work hard to achieve the things he wwants he wants to be loved, it would mean a lot to him if he didn't have to work hard to have someone love him.

It makes sense then that he would gravitate towards JK.

Jk embodies all of Jimin's wildest desires. I call this the allure of the Golden Maknae. Jk doesn't conform. He doesn't care about people's opinions of him and lives his life on his own terms- something Jimin is striving for.

No member in BTS is as free spirited, or as rebellious as JK is. When Suga told him not to get a tattoo because the fans would hate it- he's gotten it anyway hasn't he?

The best part, JK fell all on his own. And you damn right. he fell hard.

Still on the subject of fears, another fear I feel Jimin has that speaks to his love language is the fear of being a burden.

It is why he gives and gives and keeps giving. He'd rather give than receive. Which by the way, JK is the only member I have seen Jimin demand back what he gives him. Emotionally speaking.

Because he gives a lot of himself, he burns out quickly and feels emotionally drained quite often.

He has admitted himself that he used to drink by himself in his room whenever he felt drained. I assume he drank by himself because he didn't want to be a burden to others. Aka JK.

You see, JK is an empath. He feels people's pain as if they were his own. You just have to see him tear up while watching JM cry to understand what I mean by this. Jimin is a nurturer, he knows what it feels like to listen to someone's pain.

And if Tae is the one he goes to when it becomes overbearing then what does he need JK for? Glad you asked!

What JK offers Jimin is nourishment. A safe space for him to heal and reboot. JK replenishes Jimin. It is why he constantly wants to be around him.

Jk has been a canvas in their love dynamics from day one. They've both had to negotiate their needs and wants to make their relationship work. Which is something I find unique about their dynamics and why I believe they are real.

JK's lack of experience in dating, meant he had gone into their relationship without any preconceived notions of love. He's had to learn to love Jimin the way Jimin wants to be loved.

Coming from the background he's coming from, and having been denied his ambitions for such a long time, I see why Jimin would be drawn to people that are quite ambitious.

And even though, JK wasn't this person at first, Jimin has had to hype him up to the task. He pushes JK to be more ambitious.

When it comes to JK, I feel it's more about his potential to be everything Jimin wants in a partner and JK seems more than happy to comply with this.

Because of Jimin's duality and as a natural nurturer, I feel Jimin would also be attracted to someone emotionally open to recieving his love but not too emotionally dependent on him- the balance of scales I mentioned earlier.

It is why VMin wouldn't work, in my opinion. Tae is too emotionally dependent on Jimin. He ends up taking too much than he gives. On the other hand, Suga isn't emotionally dependent enough.

Again, for a man who's battled insecurity for years, it's safe to assume security, certainty and stability are an intricate part of his love language.

He seeks validation of these needs through the most random of things. In my opinion. He wants to be the one that knows JK the best. It matters to him if their clothes match, if their hair colors match, if JK meets his eyes in the middle of a serious comeback interview, if he checks all of JK's answers- hell, dude be whispering sweet empty nothings in JK's ears most times, talking about they are destined to be together and shit. You are me, I am you. Shit.

As annoying as some of these behaviors may be, JK is very considerate and tolerant of them and consideration is another one of Jimin's love language. This goes back to having been denied his dreams by his father. That denial flowed from a lack of consideration of his needs.

And as much as emotionally connected he is with Tae, Tae barely takes his feelings into consideration. And you see this in the letter Tae's written to Jimin. Or even in the dumpling incident where Tae put his want above Jimin's.

Not to mention the moments, JM have had to walk out of rooms because- Tae won't stop playing with JK's dam hair! Lol. They are cute.

People take from Jimin without reservation. But Jk is considerate as Jimin is of JK's needs.

Jk wasn't the 'exhibitionist' in that pair. He's a very private individual from what I can tell.

That PDA, that exhibitionism we see in them, that's all Park Jimin. He kinky. Dude freaky as fuck- we ain't mad at that. Bless him.

He enjoys public displays of affection. It's how he receives love. But PDA is not JK's love language, in my opinion. Yet he goes out of his way to show his affections for JM openly.

The best example I can give of this is Rosebowl.

JK understands that in order to be intimate with JM he has to allow himself to be influenced by him.

And Jimin understands that, as much as he wants to be close to JK that he doesn't have to rush him or force him into giving him the things he need from their relationship.

They are both very considerate of each other's needs, as random and ridiculous as those needs may be and cater to them in a way that is uniquely them.

Take the New Jersey live 2019 for example. Jimin seemed exhausted. Didn't want to be on another Live that night but JK clearly wanted to be seen on a Live together with him so he was there.

Another instance is the rock bison incident, where JM exchanged his toy for JK's just to make JK happy.

CONCLUSION

Listen, Jimin is in love with Jk no matter how imperfect you think he is.

No matter how much you think JK sucks at expressing his feelings for JM, Jimin loves him. No matter how close JM is with the other members, aka VMin, Yoonmin, Minimoni and the others; no matter the lack of emotional and physical boundaries between him and the others he will always fall back on Jk because none of those relationships fulfill him as much as JK does.

Jimin's constant need to be around JK could only mean there is some he gets from JK, a sense of fulfillment he gets that he doesn't get from any other member.

Keep supporting Jikook.

Signed,

GOLDY

#jikooktheories #kookmin analysis #jikook analysis #kookmin theories #jikook #jikook is real #jikook scenarios #nightswithkookmin #goldy #Jimin's love language

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theskygivesmelife · 3 years

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"I am the master of my fate,"

How ironic that a poem about self control uses this very phrase, whilst ignoring the fact that fate, or destiny actually imply that there can never truly be any control, for all is predetermined from the beginning of time.

...

I'd say we don't. Nonexistence is a superior state of existence in my opinion.

...

First things first: you don't love me, so stop saying you do. Even if you genuinely believe you do, you'll understand what I mean.

With that said, for the love of God can you stop messaging me? Not on WhatsApp because I will have *deleted* it, and not on Android messages because I can't respond as I don't have any balance. I use my phone only for music or gaming mainly anyway. Speaking of which, I thought I did make it clear that I don't want to talk to you. When was the last time we did talk? Right, your birthday. I don't remember ever being that drained after talking to you. Honestly, it was a pain—was it for you too? I guess that's what happens as one becomes truly apathetic. Seriously, I don't know who you're still trying to contact, but that person's dead. Well, not literally unfortunately, but if you do want to talk to some tired, disillusioned soul I'm still here I guess. As I mentioned, your little I love yous at the end don't really hold, because, you know, you're really just refering to the wrong person. For the record, I've started to think that not only am I incapable of loving, but am also incapable of being loved.

Anyhow, lets just say that if I were Jekyll then I'm Hyde now. To be honest, I don't even know why I'm responding to you. The "fuck her, why give a damn?" voices have been quite loud for some time. Well, I don't think of you all the time, so "fuck the world" might seem more apt as a generalisation. Back to the point: some time ago I'd have actually cared, but I don't give a shit now about anything.

I'll say it now: I don't think it'll ever be a good enough reason for you. I don't think any reason ever will. You'll probably still try to convince me to maintain contact, even though it's so horribly one sided. Well, I just couldn't care less for the most part. It'd probably be good if you wouldn't waste your time on me though. I mean, let's be real. You're not going to get my number once out if this country. Even if you miraculously did, you'd certainly make some replacement friends in college without the downsides that I have, so it'd be pointless. I know you won't listen anyway, and I said that I don't care either. So why am I even trying? I don't know.

If you'll remember I've tried to shut you out multiple times. It's funny now, ~because I feel absolutely nothing now.~ Quite often in the past I'd feel quite regretful or guilty, but now? Heh, just an emotionless robot just moving along now. Going through the motions you know. Still, if there's one thing I should mention, it's that I never lied to you when I said some sentimental crap like caring about you and such. Whoever I was back then, he genuinely ment it. And now, it seems like my wick is shorter than I imagined. It's going to burn up quick. You know what that means? Garima, it means peace at last. So, let me have my time now. I still dream of that little cottage far away, secluded from society. No-one for company. Okay, a cat and a dog. They'll be nice. A drum kit. Video games maybe? What'll I do? Electrician perhaps? Mechanic? Just so long as it isn't a crappy 9-5 job, and actually pays my bills. No people. No friends—do I really have any? No girlfriend—I don't want one (not asexual, but I'm not as horny as you I guess), and I doubt I'm capable of forming a proper relationship anyway. No family—I never had one to begin with. Can you imagine it? All alone and blissful. Just let me be. Please. One way or another, I'm gone. I'm actually feeling sad now typing this, tears in my eyes and all (I haven't cried in forever) but you shouldn't be. You've got a long, long way to go; you'll do well anyway. I don't know what I really was to you, or what I've done to you. I know that I was a hard person to deal with. I can't really list out all the times I've failed you; I hope you will forgive me for them. Believe me when I say that if there was ever I person I really tried to keep happy as often as I could, it was you.

" *Bye, stay healthy and happy* "

I won't—I can't.

Bye.

PS. Nice songs. I still appreciate music I guess, unless it's a really bad day.

...

[8/18/2018, 12:03 AM] Prathik: It seems not. Oh well, I was hoping I could talk one last time. Silly of me; you're probably either sleeping or studying for tomorrow's — should I say today's? — test.

[8/18/2018, 12:57 AM] Prathik: You know, I've been thinking: what if I wanted to talk to you one day? Would you then be ready to hold conversation? I think you would, but that doesn't strike me as fair. I mean you say that you'll miss me, but that's something you'll just have to take in your stride. On the contrary, if I miss you, then I try contacting you, and in all likelihood you'll just respond. What do you think?

[8/18/2018, 1:44 AM] Prathik: Maybe you're free tonight? I just want to talk; I don't know what I'm even doing now. Ugh I can't even explain it without sounding like some self pitying shithead. Forget it. I'm sorry

[8/18/2018, 12:42 PM] Prathik: Seriously, the very dynamics of our interactions are messed up. Everything is based on my mood and how I'm feeling. Don't want to talk? No problem! I'll go silent. Depressive episode? No problem! I'll go silent. It's like I can literally choose what and when we get to converse. Tired of our conversations? No problem! I'll just stop talking to you. And all you say is that you'll miss me. Sure, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy, but bloody hell — why didn't you ever call me out for my behaviour? Gee, we screwed up...so many flaws and nothing was even done about them.

Yes, I'm ranting. I'll say stupid things, and maybe hurtful things too. If I were completely aware of what it is that sounded like that, then I wouldn't be saying them. Not that it's an excuse for saying anything I shouldn't. You probably shouldn't take anything personally, because in all likelihood, I'll probably just be projecting.

[8/18/2018, 12:52 PM] Prathik: Oh shit, I really need psychological help don't I? Do you think that if I got better, I'd finally stop sabotaging all the relationships I have?

[8/19/2018, 12:19 AM] Prathik: Goodbye

[8/19/2018, 2:25 PM] Prathik: Okay, I'll just leave this here. Just one last thing. I honestly am doubting my mental stability: I'd wager that I'm fairly unstable in general and more so at this point. My mood seems to swing like a fucking pendulum, and for whatever reason, I have and possibly might keep spouting unnecessary shit. So please, just *IGNORE EVERYTHING* I say. *EVERYTHING.* Except this one last message. Please. It's all I ask.

[8/19/2018, 2:54 PM] Prathik: I'm also not going to be using WhatsApp anymore — no point now right? — so I guess you'll be spared if having to reply to anything.

...

[8/8/2018, 10:24 PM] Prathik: Bloody hell, always nice to me even though I don't deserve it. Can't just go study like you ought to or talk to anyone else? You've got tons of friends after all. Perhaps one day they'll give you a consolation prize saying "good effort; hard luck" and maybe then you'll see how you're just wasting your time. Whatever. It's not like I can control you or force you to behave in a certain manner. Stupid world. Just leave me be

[8/8/2018, 10:52 PM] Prathik: I don't even know why you don't give in. I mean, what am I to you? Some depressed idiot that makes you feel better about yourself? I don't think that's the narrative you've sold to me, so that's probably not the reason.

It's kinda like you're an ant running against the wind. Not any wind, though, just that which is being blown by some sadistic little kid. It keeps running into it. Over and over it tries and fails. The wind keeps pushing it back, but the ant doesn't see how futile it's attempts are. It doesn't see that despite the fact that it keeps trying, nothing's going to change. It has so many other avenues of exploration, ones that would certainly lead to a great reception from the colony, but oh no. The ant keeps running, hoping that the resistance will decrease. Eventually the boy just blows harder, and the ant flies away and lands on its back. (Good thing it has an exoskeleton.) Only then does it see how pointless its efforts were, and that they were better off invested somewhere else.

...

You know how people throw that fucking annoying platitude around? That things will get better? Doesn't happen. It's no different in its progression from a physical illness, and once you go beyond a certain stage you're only living on fumes at that point. Limited time. But it'll get better they say. Fucking hell, it can also get worse, but who's willing to actually concede that bleak truth?

...

Yeah, maybe. I don't know. I'm just getting worse mentally. I mean, I set the suicide date for when I'm 25. It's only kept dropping. I started considering pushing it to college years, and now I'm genuinely pondering whether I should just drop out of college like when I'm 19 or so and be done with it — at least I won't have to wonder about how you'll come meet me in USA lol. I'm also drawing more blanks in tests. It's not like I don't know, it's just making me more and more anxious. Like the psychology UT we had just some time ago. I left 12 marks because it seemed to easy to be true and I thought I was wrong. I got 17.5 . And meeting people, ugh. Worse than ever. Sure I'm introverted, but at this rate I'm practically going to become a hermit. My ability to function like a sane person is waning, and it's actually quite clear. It's makes me awe struck and horrified at the same time seeing how someone is so capable of self sabotage. Yeah, I don't think I was made for this world. Just one big mistake that hasn't been taken care of yet.

...

Oh, if you haven't listened to it already, you really should listen to Heroes by David Bowie. Please do, if you haven't yet. Just this one song.

...

[6/28/2018, 12:13 AM] Prathik: I love you.

[6/28/2018, 12:14 AM] Prathik: ^ I just felt like saying that.

...

You don't get it. I don't know for sure that you like talking to me. Yes, you've said so so many times that I've lost track. I'd be lying if I said that it were enough to convince me. It isn't; you can't do anything to change my perception of myself, and sometimes I'll project, being the idiot I am after all. There's never going to be a time when I can the voice that says you're you're just using me for some kicks or something to shut up. That doubt will never go, and every time you say something like that, I'll make sure to interpret it as evidence that even you don't care, that you just let your guard down. You can't ever really make me satisfied or happy, so don't throw away any more of your time actually trying to justify anything. If you know that what you've done is fine, then it's fine.

...

[6/12/2018, 8:51 PM] Prathik: Speaking of which, it's interesting that you brought up the fact that our relationship is dysfunctional. Not that I really addressed it well when you originally meantioned it. It does make me wonder, are the dynamics of the way we interact with each other actually healthy? Perhaps we're just fucking each other in the ass and not even realising it? While it's a possibility that I consider, you should know that I don't think the second one is too probable. All the same, it's bothersome enough to actually consider pondering over. Funny, though, how I've just turned a blind eye to it; best relationship you've had you say. Pretty much the same for me, I suppose that's why I've not considered anything that suggests contrary to that opinion.

You know, we never did our cliched apologies. I'm not sure what exactly to apologise for; however, I don't have any qualms admitting that I did fuck up. I'm not sure it makes any sense to apologise for going silent for a month. Honestly, while I did miss you, I'm not sure of how much I actually regret it. Heck, if I hadn't misunderstood your message and not responded... Moreover, what's the point of saying sorry for something I've done multiple times and might do again anyway? It probably does defeat the purpose of it. I do regret making you angry though. I'm not too proud of getting you pissed off, I honestly am sorry about that. That conversation just didn't go the way I'd have liked it to I guess...

[6/12/2018, 8:53 PM] Prathik: Also, is it just me or have things between us changed? I mean, the one month silence probably did more harm than good. It'd have probably been better had I never done anything, or had not stupidly misinterpreted what you said and stayed silent after all. I don't know, I'm not saying it has anything to do with you anyway. I know who's responsible if something is wrong after all.

[6/12/2018, 10:04 PM] Prathik: Oh, today I mixed NaOH with NH4Br, boiled it and inhaled it. I also had to do some speaking for a group activity in English, and I didn't really fuck it up at all or get shaky knees

Just saying. Anyway, which Tapasya acquaintances are you still in touch with?

[6/12/2018, 10:42 PM] Prathik: Oh look, they just killed off net neutrality in USA. Fucking Ajit Pai. As if he didn't have an incredibly punchable face to begin with.

...

[6/10/2018, 10:05 AM] Prathik: If you say so. Read at your own inconvenience.

Since I'm idiotic enough, I decided to read more of the dude's articles. Lost a ton of brain cells. Also, don't read the comments. Nutty, the lot of them.

[6/10/2018, 11:00 AM] Prathik: "The power of propaganda always surprises me. Only 30 years ago, homosexuality was almost universally condemned, and now it’s accepted in half the world and half the States. Clearly, the natural position worldwide is that homosexuality is a disorder, and should be condemned. The problem is, we lost the youth. Somehow, homosexual advocates were able to brainwash and indoctrinate them into accepting it. If you talk to anyone my age, they believe that homosexuality poses no health risks (homosexuals have a 5 times higher chance of getting HIV) and that they are born as homosexuals (despite no scientific evidence.) IMO this is a result of two things: homosexual propaganda (esp. through the internet) and the collapse of the traditional marriage model. The parents simply haven’t taught their children about Christianity and thus they are easy prey for the homosexual movement.

Honestly, I am very pessimistic and I feel that it’s only going to get worse as time goes on. More and more ‘Christians’ are accepting this behavior day by day and it’s heartbreaking."

Has to be the most ironic things I've ever read. Talks about propaganda and indoctrination, but completely turns a blind eye to how he's become what he is.

[6/10/2018, 6:29 PM] Prathik: And now, I've realised that I could have actually spent my time better by talking to you on the phone as you suggested. Not that I studied one bit as I planned to do.

...

[6/9/2018, 1:56 AM] Garima Joshi: Bye now, love you.

[6/9/2018, 1:57 AM] Prathik: Bye. Love you.

...

if I could really recover from the depressed, socially anxious, and suicidal person I am today, believe me I'd let you know immediately. I promise.

...

[3/20/2018, 3:01 AM] Garima Joshi: I know you said you were tired. Thanks for sticking around. Always great talking to you.

[3/20/2018, 3:02 AM] Prathik: It's always fun talking to you. So.. yeah. Do we say goodnight or goodmorning at this point?

[3/20/2018, 3:03 AM] Prathik: Yeah. Stay safe in Delhi will you? Bye.

[3/20/2018, 3:04 AM] Garima Joshi: I'll try, I'll try.

Have a good day (today)

Bye, love you.

[3/20/2018, 3:06 AM] Prathik: I thought you said cheesy stuff were grossing you out...

I'm sorry, did I sound a little overprotective?

[3/20/2018, 3:13 AM] Garima Joshi: Okay Patrick I love you v much but I'll find you a wife tomorrow, for now you need those 2 hours 58 minutes of beauty sleep to rope in all those women

[3/20/2018, 3:13 AM] Prathik: Lulz. Fine. Love you too.

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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Shameless Season 11 Episode 3 Review: Frances Francis Franny Frank

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This Shameless review contains spoilers.

Shameless Season 11 Episode 3

“Gender’s a social construct.”

Shameless is a series that’s always been very interested in how its Chicago neighborhood influences its characters. Coming as a remake from a UK series, Shameless’s new environment becomes one of its most important changes. This series constantly labels characters and tells them what they can and cannot do, while this perception internalizes and festers. This final season has taken an even greater interest in these themes and “Frances Francis Franny Frank” specifically filters them through gender norms.

This is hardly the first time gender has been examined on Shameless, but this episode repeatedly challenges ideas that would have been accepted back during the series’ earliest seasons. Ian and Mickey kickstart this discussion, but it’s something that becomes unavoidable, whether it’s through the pretense of a beauty pageant, Carl’s new female training officer, or even Frank’s quick aside that Franny is “like Rain Man…but a girl.” Shameless’s final season looks forward to the future of not just the Gallaghers, but all of the South Side, and episodes like “Frances Francis Franny Frank” highlight just how much they’ve grown.

Each episode of this season has shown some new kind of relationship problem crop up in Ian and Mickey’s post-marriage life. This may be Shameless’s plan for the two of them this season, which is an energy that works for the show, but “Frances Francis Franny Frank” involves what’s by far Ian and Mickey’s simplest problem to date. This episode’s quest to answer who is the “man” in their relationship is extremely low stakes and territory that would have been inherent to the two of them pretty quickly into their romance. It’s used as comedic relief here more than it’s meant to prompt any big changes between the two of them, but it does pry into the episode’s larger theme of gender roles.

Both Ian and Mickey turn to different circles that weigh in their perspectives on what makes a “man” and a “woman,” to therefore figure out which of them can be slotted in these roles. There’s no major revelation here, but it gets characters talking about broader topics that feel representative of the entire South Side’s points of view. These opinions hang over some characters more than others and Ian reaches his breaking point at his job. His frustration is honestly understandable after what he’s put through, but Ian’s fresh vulnerability allows the dynamics between him and Mickey to once again transform. Mickey lucks into some new work helping out Kevin and V with their money laundering and their humble drug operation continues to grow.

It makes sense for Mickey to align with Kevin and V’s new revenue of business, much like it did for Frank. However, other than this new partnership, this material is rather dreadful. Any tension that existed between Frank, Kevin, and V from last week is completely erased as Kevin gets lost in the glory of expendable income. Kevin flaunts all of this in such an irresponsible manner where he’s practically asking to get robbed. The past few seasons have shown Kevin in a greater need of validation, but he should absolutely know better and not require the approval of these random strangers. He 100% deserves to get robbed in the manner that he does and it’s seriously depressing that he’d jeopardize his family’s income like this. Hopefully Mickey will also be used to make sure that something like this doesn’t happen again.

Ian and Mickey aren’t alone with their work-based stress and transitions. Carl gets a new training officer after his previous one remains in intensive care and at death’s door. There’s immediately a connection as Carl’s new gung ho partner doesn’t belittle him and uses a very empowering attitude to inspire good work. Her “Billie” nickname that she gives him because of how Carl resembles Billie Eilish is also maybe the funniest thing that Shameless has done in years. This relationship is so compelling because the values of Carl’s partner aren’t necessarily broken, but she’s hardened to the point where she has no patience for unnecessary bullshit from either the public or her profession. She makes it clear that she views herself as a cop and a dispenser of justice more than she brings her race or gender into the equation.

Carl’s glee over his progress at work is really satisfying. He hasn’t looked this happy in a while and it’s so freaking adorable that he shares a picture of his first arrest with his family. It’s a welcome change of pace to see Carl’s fulfillment come from his work rather than his romantic fling for the season. It definitely reflects a maturity in Carl that would have seemed impossible years ago. However, it also looks like Carl may already be conflating work and romance as he potentially builds an infatuation towards his new partner.

Carl works hard to build a version of the South Side that his future children would be proud to live in, but Lip and Tami grow consumed over much more personal doubts about the future. Lip and Tami appear to be in a healthy place for the time being, but they learn that Brad and Cami’s baby has developed considerable heart problems. It’s a difficult situation that’s not really fair to Lip or Tami. Tami is clearly lost in panic and Lip would obviously do what he can to help, but $65,000 might as well be one million dollars to him. The Gallaghers have never had that much disposable income in their lives.

It’s all very manipulative melodrama, but it may lead to something productive for Lip. He may begin to get steady contracting work after people notice the renovations that he’s done to his house. Lip’s life has taken some seriously surprising turns over the course of the series. This would be a development that doesn’t only make sense, but also be a smart way to turn the former burden of Lip and Tami’s home into something that allows their lives to become enriched in a totally different way. It works even better that it’d be growth that happens purely because of the level of dedication that Lip puts into his work.

Throughout everyone’s respective crises, this whirlwind of chaos scatters the Gallaghers in different directions. A prolonged passing of the buck results in a neglected Franny ending up in Frank’s care, which turns into one of the first real bonding experiences between these different generations of Gallagher. Frank needs to help Franny get to school, which is a super benign storyline, but it might as well be getting Franny to the moon for how high Frank is when he inadvertently volunteers himself for this task. The decision to make Frank perpetually high this season while he tests product for Kevin and V is a nice touch to all of this and Macy clearly has fun working this into his performance.

The distance that’s been previously kept between Frank and Franny makes their dynamic together feel fresh and exciting. It should really be sickening to see Frank use Franny as an asset on his drug runs as he naturalizes her to this level of grifting. Strangely, Frank’s misconduct blossoms into a place of sweetness where he can strip away all of his charlatan tactics and just genuinely enjoy the company of his granddaughter. Franny’s decision to wear her dress to please Debbie because of something that Frank tells her is an extremely tender conclusion and shows that he’s left a good impression on her, despite everything. I’m genuinely mystified over how Frank may currently be this season’s best character.

Frank’s technical success with Franny only makes Debbie feel worse about the failures that she’s recently faced. She screws up in a colossal way in this episode where a litany of irresponsible reasons result in one of her clients getting robbed. It’s actually appreciated and perhaps necessary that Debbie gets called out in the way that she does. She’s offered no sympathy and is forced to confront the consequences of her actions. Hopefully Lip’s harsh words will be able to prompt some change in her life.

Debbie is also caught up in a dangling storyline about the Little Miss South Side pageant that doesn’t really amount to much. It’s there to facilitate the episode’s final emotional beat where Franny helps her mother feel better. It’s a strange way to go about all of this, especially when considering the previous episode’s Debbie and Franny material, but it never steals too much focus away from the episode’s many other plots.

Despite the smaller scenarios that consume “Frances Francis Franny Frank,” things spiral out of control in a way where characters are left in various places of stability and instability as the episode comes to a close. Everyone is in fine form here, especially Frank and Carl, but at times this installment feels more like a collection of smaller pieces than it does a cohesive story, even if there is a unifying theme to tie it all together. There are many half-plots going on that I assume will receive payoffs in what’s to come, but Liam’s cafeteria revolution from before seems to be over, so it’s hard to say.

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Shameless episodes always feel incredibly crowded and it typically doesn’t work in the show’s favor. It shouldn’t be afraid to leave characters out of the spotlight or find more ways to bring characters together rather than jump between a mess of disparate threads. The season is getting better in this department, but there’s still a ton of excess when it comes to characters and stories. Shameless needs to focus and figure out where it wants its characters to end up more than it needs to worry about who is the man or woman.

The post Shameless Season 11 Episode 3 Review: Frances Francis Franny Frank appeared first on Den of Geek.

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embracetheapocalypsewithme · 7 years

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Yes, Mistress...

It took me a ridiculously long time to write this piece for @flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash‘s Writing Challenge, but it’s finally done! This was for the Nipple Clamps prompt, and I hope you all enjoy some Sherry x Negan femdom smut on this fine Saturday. I know Negan did. See?

Summary: Honestly? This doesn’t have much of a plot, but I will say this: Negan. Sherry. Nipple Clamps. Femdom. Kink. And lots and lots of smutty goodness! Also, sex on a desk!

Word Count: 3,341

Warnings: So much smut. Nipple torture. Riding. Oral Sex. Negan’s filthy mouth. Sherry’s nearly as filthy mouth. Bodily fluids. Power dynamic shifts. And also, this is probably a very bad representation of a healthy D/s relationship...but...you know...it’s fiction, so...

Yes, Mistress...

A looping silver chain dangled delicately from Negan’s fingers, glimmering in the late afternoon sunlight that streamed through the two large windows which flanked his desk. Sherry squinted at the object and leaned in a little closer over the desk, trying to determine what she was looking at. Negan took the opportunity to peer down the neckline of her dress, causing Sherry to straighten up and glare down at him as he sat in his well-worn office chair.

“Fucking pervert.”

“Heh. Yeah,” he smirked at her and leaned back in the chair, “You fucking love it though. Don’t lie.”

“Oh, fuck off!” she cried, wanting desperately to wipe the cocky expression off of his face, while still being wholly unable to hide the slight smile that crept across her lips.

“I fucking knew it! You’re blushing!”

“Oh my god! Shut up!” she furrowed her brow, “What am I looking at here, exactly? It’s too long to be a necklace…”

Negan snickered, but remained otherwise silent.

“Are you seriously going to make me play guessing games now?”

Sherry could feel her frustration building and settling in the centre of her forehead, threatening to turn into a tension headache. Some days she could take a little bit of Negan’s juvenile games. It was almost charming in a stupid way that reminded her of being a teenager again and falling for the class clown. Today, sadly, was not one of those days.

“Seriously? I’m not playing this game with you, Negan,” she scolded, crossing her arms across her chest. This had the intended effect of hiding the copious amount cleavage that the little, black dress she wore produced.

“You’re no fucking fun today, Sher. Who pissed in your fucking cornflakes anyway?”

He all but pouted, and slumped forward in his seat a little. The expression made the huge, middle-aged man seem almost boyish, and Sherry perked up a little bit at seeing the wind get taken out of his sales.

“I’m in a fantastic mood, Negan,” she said innocently, “What makes you think otherwise?”

Sherry loved getting under his skin a little every now and then. They had been together just long enough that she knew exactly which buttons she could push, and she was exceptionally good at pushing them in just the right way to get a rise out of him. It was the only entertainment she had now that there was no Netflix. She just had to be careful not to go too far and incur any punishments; there were lines that you just did not want to cross with Negan.

“They’re fucking nipple clamps, Sherry. For you. For your titties.”

Negan held the chain out to her over the desk, waiting for Sherry to take the clamps out of his fingers. She stared in disbelief for a moment, her hands glued to her sides, before speaking.

“And what exactly do you propose I do with those?”

“Put them on! I wanna see these on you. It’ll be so fucking hot, Sher!”

His eyes had gotten big and glossy, almost hopeful, and he had moved forward in his seat again, evidently waiting impatiently for a show. Sherry took a fair amount of delight in dashing his dreams against the rocks.

“Ha! Nope! Not happening, dude!”

“What? Why the fuck not?” he asked. There was that pout again and the slight whine in his voice cutting right to her last nerve and causing Sherry to grit her teeth in annoyance.

“Because I have fucking sensitive nipples and I don’t like putting clamps on them!” she replied obstinately.

“Oh come on! They have little pads on them for comfort! They aren’t, like, the real deal kind. They’re mostly just for show. And I bet your tits would look fucking outstanding in them!”

“Nope! Not a chance!”

“Sherry, as your husband, I order you to get topless and put these fucking nipple clamps on!” he said sternly, standing up from his chair and moving around the large desk to stand beside her.

Sherry gazed up at him defiantly, feeling very small and fragile next to the lumbering brute. And yet no fear made its way into her mind. When she looked at Negan the only thing she ever felt was annoyance and occasionally pity. He really was a simple creature when you got right down to it. Not a monster; just an overgrown child who needed boundaries set.

“N. O. Spells ‘no’, Negan.”

“Sherry…”

“Oh my god! Do not start whining at me!”

She began to walk toward the office door, but Negan grabbed her wrist gently, causing her to spin around.

“What, Negan?! What?”

“I’ll wear them first to show you they don’t hurt.”

Sherry snorted at this and rolled her eyes at the earnest expression he wore. If he thought that this was going to get her into wearing glorified clothes pins on her nipples, he had another thing coming, “You can’t be serious…”

Without saying a word, Negan stripped off his characteristic white t-shirt and threw it away before splaying his arms outward with the palms up as if to say “See?”

“Wow. You’re topless. I’m so impressed,” her tone was far more cutting and cruel than she had intended it to be. Perhaps this cruelty was in direct proportion to the stirring she felt between her legs at the sight of his muscles rippling as he moved. Fuck! She hated how hot she found him sometimes!

“Here!” he thrust the cluster of silver chains toward her and she hesitantly took them in her hands, “Put ‘em on me!”

“You know what? Fine! If it’ll make you stop whining. But I’m not putting them on no matter how long you wear them.”

“We’ll fucking see about that...”

“No. We won’t.”

She took a step toward him, nearly pressing herself against his body as she inspected the rubber-coated clamps to get a sense of how they worked. It seemed as though there was a little screw that could either tighten or loosen them. She spun the moving piece to the left and watched as the clamps moved further apart.

Lost in thought, she didn’t notice Negan’s hand move around her waist until it had clamped down on her ass firmly, startling her.

“What the fuck!”

“Hurry up, lady! I’m ready to fucking go…” he ran a hand across his crotch, accentuating the growing erection that had arisen from his pants.

In a flash of movement, Sherry swatted his hand away, forcing it back by his side. Her eyes flared at him in a combination of annoyance and arousal.

“No touching! Not until I say!”

“Jeeeesus! Yes, ma’am!” he saluted her sarcastically and winked.

“Ma’am? No…That’s what you call an old woman using a Senior’s Discount to buy Chantilly perfume at Sears. Let’s use…Mistress.”

“Mmmm…Mistress? That’s hot. That’s like some Elvira Morticia Vampira Queen of Fucking Darkness dominatrix shit. I like that,” he leered down at her and rubbed his hand across his now fully hardened cock.

“And don’t touch yourself either!” the sternness in her voice surprised Sherry herself.

“Yes, fucking Lady Sher, Dominatrix of my fucking heart and owner of my wretched cock.”

“Gross. Just say ‘Yes, Mistress’. Ok?”

“O-fucking-Kay…I mean: Yes, Mistress!”

“Good boy. Now get ready for the nipple clamps.”

She placed the black rubber nubs of the clamp against the tender flesh of his nipple, enjoying the contrasting colours for a moment before slowly turning the screw mechanism to the right and tightening it against him. After a full turn she heard Negan let out a soft hiss of discomfort as his nipple sprang to attention, puckering beneath the clamp.

“You like that, huh?” she chided him, and brought the second clamp up to his other side.

“Fuck yes!”

“Uh-uh! Wrong answer!”

Her voice was positively gleeful as she tugged gently at the silver chain that was attached to the tightened clamp on his nipple.

“Ughhh! Yes, Mistress!”

His voice wavered a little and his eyes grew increasingly wide as she resumed hooking his second nipple into the remaining clamp. Once this was done, Sherry stood back slightly to admire her handy work.

Negan was a sight to behold with both nipples hardened and bound in the rubber of the clamps while the decorative silver chains looped against his chest and upper stomach. Even Sherry had to admit to herself that this was fucking hot. Sometimes, when Negan was right, he was fucking right!

“Very nice indeed!” she clapped her hands together and an impish grin lingered on her lips.

Moving like silk, she sauntered up to him and confidently grabbed the silver chain in her right hand, giving a sharp tug to the clamps, which forced Negan to lean forward. She met him in the centre, firmly pressing her lips against his to conquer his mouth with her own. The kiss felt like a battle between the two figures, one large and domineering and the other a mere feminine sliver. Yet, it was the smaller of the two who won the battle by tugging at the chain again and causing a whimper to escape Negan’s throat. She nipped at his bottom lip as they parted.

“Fucking hell, Sher! Where did that come from?”

Without answering, she gave two slight tugs to the chain to let him know that he had messed up.

“Mistress. Fucking hell, Mistress…where did that come from?”

“You don’t know everything about me…”

“Well, it’s fucking hot as shit anyway!” he motioned down with his eyes and she followed his gaze.

The front of his pants had darkened in a very specific location as precum dripped from him, soaking into the fabric a reaction to her taunting.

“Oh my! It looks like I have a little slut on my hands who likes having his nipples played with. Is that right, Negan?”

“Yes, Mistress.”

“Oh! Good, little slut! You finally got the name right! Amazing!”

She grinned up at him sadistically, but her hands made their way to his belt and gently unhooked it before following suit with the button and zipper. Biting her lip, Sherry yanked the loosened fabric down around his ankles, and watched as his cock bobbed for a moment after being freed. The entire length was already glistening with his arousal and Sherry had a hard time dragging her eyes back up to meet his. She had never seen Negan this hard before.

“Ohhhh! Fuck, Mistress!” he threw his head back, puffing out his chest and bracing himself against his desk as Sherry stood between his legs.

Dragging her long nails over the sensitive flesh of his inner thigh, she allowed her finger to trace around his cock and balls, never quite touching him in the way she knew he wanted her to.

“You want me to put your dirty, old prick in my mouth, slut?”

“Yes, please!”

She reached a single finger up and hooked it around the chain, plucking it sharply and eliciting another whimper out of Negan.

“Yes, please what?”

“Yes, please Mistress!”

“That’s more like it…”

Her finger left the silver chain and trailed a line down his torso, stopping at the base of his cock. She leaned forward and brought her mouth close to the head of his hardened member, blowing her warm breath against it before trailing her tongue around the perimeter teasingly.

“Holy shit!”

Negan’s hands instinctively moved to the back of Sherry’s head in an effort to push her mouth further down his length. Dismayed by this act of insolence, she abruptly stood and grabbed Negan’s chin between her thumb and forefinger, forcing him to look her directly in the eyes.

“Did I say you were allowed to touch, little slut?”

“No, Mistress…”

“That was a fucking rhetorical question. Because when I say you can touch, we’ll both fucking know it. And it ain’t gonna be for a long while.”

“But-“

“No whining!” she jerked the chain a little harder than the previous times and watched Negan’s heard roll back on his neck as he moaned deeply. At first she thought she had gone a little too far with the pain gimmick, but as she watched his cock twitch and a fresh bead of precum rise to his slit, she knew he was enjoying it too.

Sherry’s face softened and she brought a hand up to his cheek to stroke him gently, “What do you think your punishment should be for this rude gesture, little slut.”

Negan’s eyes searched her face for clues of her wishes for a moment, his brows knitting together. Realization flooded his face suddenly and he grinned broadly at her, “Wanna ride my cock, Mistress?”

Sherry considered her response for a moment, finally deciding that a ride on her temporary man toy sounded like a great idea to her.

“Ok! Get on the desk.”

Negan did as he was told, carelessly pushing the few books and office implements on the desk’s surface to the ground and laying back against the its deep wood. He was far too large to fit across it entirely, so his legs dangled over the side at the knees and caused Sherry to giggle at how ridiculous he looked; especially with the nipple clamps still firmly in place. But she had to admit: his cock was too nice to pass up.

She carefully climbed on top of the desk, straddling him and roughly pushing her dress up and her panties aside to line his head up with her warm slit. Without any warning, she lowered herself around him, enveloping his cock within her depths.

“Mmmm! I think Mistress got a little bit into this too. You’re fucking drenched down there, baby!”

“Did I say you could talk?” she asked coldly, giving the chain a warning tug that caused him to hiss through his teeth in pain.

“No, Mistress-“

His words were cut off by a moan as Sherry began to ride him ferociously, with an animalistic hunger, taking him as deep inside her as she could. She loved being on top of him, feeling his strength moving beneath her. Knowing that he could flip her over and do whatever he wanted to her whenever he wanted. Knowing, too, that she was in total control of him in other ways at the moment, and feeling secure in her fleeting dominance.

Negan had been right, of course. She was more turned on than she could remember being in a long time. It was like their early days of sneaking around behind Dwight’s back at the hotel when they would fuck on musty sheets in the uninhabited rooms. There was a passion and an urgency to their fucking that caused an orgasm to grow rapidly at her core.

She could have stopped it, or at least slowed her pace to prolong the experience, but she didn’t want to. In fact, she let her fingers wander absently to her clit where they circled and pressed firmly, unleashing a shuddering orgasm that caused her to double over against Negan’s chest. As she came back to herself, Sherry lifted her eyes up to find Negan staring at her with a curious expression on his face.

“That was fucking fast! I told you that you were fucking into this, Sherry…” there was that cocky grin again. Even in her post-orgasm bliss, she knew she had to wipe it off his face.

With a devious gleam in her eyes, Sherry let her tongue trail across his salted flesh until it connected with the silver chain. She flicked the metal into her mouth with her tongue, catching it in her teeth and then giving it a sharp yank, all the while never breaking eye contact. Negan’s own eyes clamped shut and she felt his cock twitch inside of her.

“You were a very good little slut today,” she cooed at him, letting the chains drop from her lips, “Do you want your reward?”

“Oh fuck! You know I do, Mistress!”

“Good,” she slid from him and lowered herself off of the desk, leaving him exposed and glistening with her wetness, “Scoot close to the edge. I’m gonna clean you up and make you cum.”

Excitedly, he scooted his bare ass across the desk until he was sitting on the edge with his legs dangling over, his feet firmly touching the hard wood floor of the office. Sherry wasted no time in taking her place between his muscular thighs and licking up the length of his shaft, relishing how his juices mingled with her own.

“Mmmm…We taste really sweet together.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Mmmmhmmm,” she replied, sliding her lips softly down him until his head just hit the back of her throat. She looked up as she rose off of him, allowing his cock to leave her mouth with a soft “plop”.

“I wanna taste!”

“I wanna taste what?”

“I wanna taste us, Mistress. Please?”

Sherry rose just enough so that their mouths were parallel and she could kiss him deeply, allowing his tongue to explore her mouth and taste both of them on her lips. She felt a shudder of pleasure rumble through his body, and abruptly broke off the kiss, lowering her mouth once again to him.

This time she sucked him harder, allowing her head to bob at a faster pace. She knew that all of her riding and teasing had made his cock exceptionally sensitive, and that any slight increase in speed or pressure could send him into a mindless flurry of moans and shivers.

She loved the feeling of power that came when she had him completely under her control. The big, bad monster that everyone feared had been turned into a babbling mess under her tongue. That power tasted sweeter than anything she had ever experienced. It was the taste of her pussy soaked around his cock and the sound of his whimpers and moans as she increased her pace further, his hands clenching the edge of the desk with white knuckles.

He was trying to hold on, breathing slowly to delay his orgasm as long as he could. Sherry knew this and decided to counter by allowing his head to pop deep into her throat, taking him almost the entire way down. She bobbed her head, ever so slightly, so that the most sensitive part of his dick would rub against the narrowest portion of her mouth. This was her killing move and they both knew it.

“Oh fuck! Fuck me! That’s not fair!”

His head was thrown back, eyes closed in ecstasy, as Sherry gazed up at him, his cock still lodged deep within her throat. She could feel it pulsing there, pumping his release deep inside of her, giving her no choice but to swallow every last drop he provided.

Once he had calmed down and allowed his body to drop to the desk’s surface, Sherry released him from her mouth. His still-erect cock bobbed in the air while his chest heaved up and down, his breathing still erratic from the orgasm.

“Well, I’m convinced,” Sherry began, “The nipple clamps seem like lots of fun!”

She stood and bent over him to loosen the screws which still held the toy in place.

“D-does that mean I get to see them on your titties?” Negan asked in a daze with his eyes still closed.

“Maybe. Someday. But not today,” she replied before planting a kiss on his sweat-streaked forehead.

“Baby, I don’t think I could handle another round with you right now anyway. I think you fucked my fucking brains out.”

“Good.”

Now it was Sherry’s time to smirk down at the dazed and sleepy man as he struggled to sit up on the desk again.

“Come see me later tonight after dinner. I’ll be here waiting with the clamps,” he said, his tongue still thick, causing him to mumble, “I think I need a fucking nap right now though...”

“Ok. A deal is a deal. See you after dinner.”

With that, Sherry straightened her dress across her thighs and exited the office with a spring in her step.

#comicnegan>#negan smut #negan fanfiction #twd smut #negan's thirst squad

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allanimemag · 7 years

Text

When I first heard what this was about I thought of Stephen King’s Misery and it appealed to me. I tend to enjoy the darker stories with a disturbing thread. However other than hobbling and being trapped this has nothing else in common with Misery. I was curious and had high hopes for a properly twisted read and this offered a whole lot more than I bargained for.

Mangaka: Koogi

Genre: Horror, Mature, Psychological, Webtoons, Yaoi

Volumes/Chapters: 14.5 chapters

Korean Title: Salhae Seutoking

Title Kanji: 살해 스토킹

Release Date: 2016

Is it ongoing? Yes

Does it have a series adaption? No

About:

Yoonbum is an outcast with a predisposition towards stalking those he loves. He doesn’t have the courage to speak to them and he does not want them to know. However he wants to know everything about them. His current love is Sangwoo. He had gone to college with him and had by chance enlisted in the army with him as well. Yoonbum does nothing but watch from afar. After they leave the army they both go their separate ways. Yoonbum however, still wants to know more about Sangwoo. One day Yoonbum breaks into Sangwoo’s house and discovers his secret in the basement. Catching him red handed, Sangwoo will not let him go. Now Yoonbum’s legs are both broken and his life is on the line. Will he escape with his life or will he be killed by the man he ‘loves’?

My Thoughts:

As mentioned this was so much more than I had ever bargained for or expected. To the point where I was horrified and quite disturbed with what I was reading and I have a high tolerance for these kind of unusual stories. It was well done in the way it was put together even if some of the timing is jilted as you are suddenly seeing past events so that the ‘current time’ makes sense.

The art is done really well! The colour scheme suits the story and actions to a tee. The pacing of the plot is done well but with some of the aspects a little confusing and not fully explained. Sangwoo has quite a few screws loose with both daddy and mommy issues. Which in all fairness I don’t really blame him, although his ‘coping mechanism’ is a tad extreme. Yoonbum also could not pass for a full deck of cards (if you’ve read chapter 14, you’ll get it), He hasn’t had it easy either which when put together just exploded. The dynamics of their relationship is clearly dominant and subservient. I don’t mean in the S&M kind of way, I mean in the master and slave kind of way.

Sangwoo gets enjoyment out of tormenting and abusing Yoonbum, which in turn leads to Yoonbum desperately trying to please Sangwoo to avoid ‘punishment’. Which means he will also do anything to keep Sangwoo happy; from cleaning to sexual favours, all in order not to be returned to the dark and cold basement.

It is clearly an abusive dynamic that these two have going. The way Yoonbum works so hard not to displease Sangwoo is a very common element in real life abusive relationships, from watching what you say to even how you act and always trying to gauge the other person’s mood. However just like in real life the abuser has their kind moments. Times where they are not a complete monster. It is those moments that truly taint and warp the mind of the abused. The way the mangaka has managed to portray the full extent of this dynamic really impresses me and really gets to me even if it is warped. Even the way that Yoonbum fantasises of ways to escape, ways to free himself but won’t do it because he is too afraid and for some of it, he can’t find the will.

Would I recommend this? I would but very selectively. This is one of those that should come with the warning ‘not for sensitive viewers’ or in this case, readers.

This has also flared up a debate on whether this romanticizes abuse and there is a controversy over the two main characters and whether they have a relationship or not. Unfortunately I am starting to lean towards the side saying they do. However it is far cry from love, trust, understanding or anything resembling a healthy relationship. This is a relationship based purely on dominance, dependency and a twisted possession which makes for a very negative and dark relationship. It has nothing to do with love; there is no room for love. The whole relationship is a power struggle that on the one hand is clearly dominated by Sangwoo. I am really concerned for the people who are romanticizing this couple. I can only think that they romanticize it because:

They have never been in an actual relationship

They are in an abusive relationship and are hoping that Sangwoo and Yoonbum ‘work it out’

They are depressed

They themselves want to dominate or be completely dominated/owned. Once again not in the S&M way.

If there is any other reason, I fail to see it. In all honesty, I hope Yoonbum changes the way this seems to be going. I hope he is just focusing on survival and not giving in. I hope he grows a pair and figures a way out of his situation and manages to turn his life around and pull it out of the current downward spiral it has been.

A seriously twisted read! Have you or are you reading it? #KillingStalking #Manhwa #manga When I first heard what this was about I thought of Stephen King’s Misery and it appealed to me.

#Horror #Killing Stalking #Killing Stalking review #Manga #manga review #manhwa #Mature #otaku #otaku blog #Psychological #Sangwoo #webtoons #yaoi #Yoonbum

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