#which means it's time for kal's late night adhd braindump

[these-written-reveries]

Guys can I confess a little secret to y'all? If you know me it's probs not a big surprise but shhh, just listen...

Sometimes...sometimes the male characters I like give me the ick. And it's been happening more often with 2 particular clown characters 👀

If you know me, you know I identify as lesbian/queer, so like DUH. But I find it interesting that it's happening more often. Basically with any characters played by real people. I think the comphet in me is slowly dying, guys. It kinda worries me bc I don't wanna lose the special love and connections I have with these characters, but I can't help itttt my lesbian brain thinks they're icky sometimes guysss 😭

You know who's never given me the ick tho?

✨ Anime boys ✨

They're the furthest from being real men so obviously me likey 😍 They're pretty and not too realistic and they got the masculine look/energy that makes my heart go 💓 (I'm talking to you, Bakugou Katsuki, Kirishima Eijirou, and all the other MHA boys that have me in a chokehold). It's honestly a match made in heaven.

I guess I should've known the comphet wouldn't be able to stand the test of time. The beast is growing weaker inside me. After all this time, I see it as an old friend, and I am sad to see this happen. I salute you, old pal. You've made my life hell in many ways, but what would I be without you?

Gayer. Definitely gayer. But I digress...

I'm being so silly 🤭 but forreal guys, idk what to expect of my future with these characters I've long considered to be f/os of mine. I don't think my love for them will ever fully fade away, but I feel myself growing more distant from them 🥺 I used to be able to overlook the icky parts and now I can't ignore it as easily 😭 this is supposed to be a good thing for me and here I am all pouty and sad about it pfft but I'm sure the self shippers out there will somewhat understand. These have been my comfort characters for a long time. I don't wanna lose the bonds I've formed with them 🥺

Anyway, I'm still totally cool with writing for these characters, I enjoy it so much still. But as for my personal relationships with these characters...the connection feels a little weaker these days 😔 but that doesn't mean it's the end! I might wake up in a few weeks head over heels for them all over again. Guess we'll see, huh?

If you read this far, thanks for helping me carry the burden of this very serious confession. I'm afraid the weight of it was too heavy to bear alone for a moment longer. It had to be said 😭🤭