#which rhymes with “i prepared for the worst and the ending still sucked ass”

[genericpuff]

Lore olympus has finally came to an end are you happy or sad?

My bones hurt and I have a bad case of gas.

[lesbrarians]

HOUSTON WE HAVE A PROBLEM 1 4 10 15

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way? 

I was so in love with the concept of Bro and Dad both being very eccentric parents, who are weird as hell but love their kids and still raise them well, albeit unconventionally. I knew that I wanted to write their story through the lens of parenthood bc I love domestic shit. So that’s kind of what inspired me to write Houston We Have a Problem that way, as a fic not just about a burgeoning relationship between two very odd individuals, but also about family.

4: What's your favorite line of dialogue?

HONESTLY I have to say that my favorite dialogue is the absolutely horrible rap-off between Dave and Tavros, just because of Bro’s comment at the end.

Tavros took a deep breath before launching into his rap. “Well, I notice that you don’t want to be the first, because I am the best and you are the worst. You know deep down inside that this is true, when I’m through with you, they’ll be calling Code Blue. My rapping skills will put you to shame, because that is the way that we play this game. Kicking this over for you to take your turn. It’s just too bad that you’re gonna burn!”

“Tav, come on, you gotta be trolling me. This shit’s so weak, even you gotta see, that your lame name game and callin’ me the worst shows that you know shit about who comes in first. I’m immersed in an avalanche of obscene suckitude, freestylin’ with someone with no rhythm accrued. And if you can’t admit that this fact is true, you can just go and fucking suck it, dude. ‘Cause I’ve got a shit-ton more gumption than President Nixon, I’m a playa’ who’s ballin’, I know what you’re thinkin’. There’s a swirling vortex of cocks and dicks-in, your mind’s eye, don’t try to deny, that my Watergate flow is sicker than you know. Get that blowchute open, prepare to eat crow.”

Dave‘s smirk grew broader as Tavros’s face colored and he stammered out a feeble protest. The best part of rap battles was trying to throw your opponent for a loop and trip them up, and it looked like he’d found Tavros’s kryptonite.

“The bottom line is if you wanna impress me, there better be something hidden up your sleeve. Gotta man up and show me what else you’ve got. It’s your turn now, so baby drop it like it’s hot—”

“—I’ll still give it a shot, and win this rap battlecal, because my moves are sick and my beats are so radical!” Tavros recovered in record time and shot back a retort of his own, making Dave laugh in genuine admiration for his resilience. “And this beat is as ill as your lame-ass rhymes, which are lame like your ass, which is totally not fine!”

Bro and Rufio were listening in as they sat on the floor outside of Dave’s room, huddled together with their ears pressed against the wall. Bro snorted softly. “This is rapidly decelerating into the shittiest gay-off I’ve ever heard.”

10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story? 

I don’t remember how I fell down the BroDad rabbit hole, but this story was always meant to be about them at its core. I wanted to write something that explored how they could end up together and the progression of their relationship. 

15: What did you learn from writing this fic?

That I am capable of actually writing and finishing a 75,000 word story! I started HWHAP as my NaNo project for 2011 and while I ended up failing (I think I only wrote like 20k in that month), I still managed to write 75k in the course of a few months. It was the first serious longfic that I finished, asides from maybe my college AU Kingdom Hearts fic but I don’t think TTT was anywhere near as long as HWHAP was -- okay, actually I just checked and that was 54.5k words so I guess NEVER MIND to the serious longfic thing but. That took me eight months to write 54.5k words, while HWHAP took me about four months to write 75k words so. There’s that.