#who am i even DOING it fkr

[archivalofsins]

Man, Mikoto and Amane are both going down now. It's kind of interesting to see. Mikoto's decline is more steady, though. Personally, I kind of understand why people would be on the fence about them. Their situations are typically difficult for people in general to fully grasp. So, the first instinct is to deny it.

However, it does highlight an interesting trend. Because it seems like more people are willing to give a day one innocent verdict than a guilty one now. Regardless of if they're personally undecided still or not. I've discussed this I private and somewhat publicly.

Yet, it's interesting to think about Milgram in terms of forgiveness. Not because guilty and innocent are too black and white or anything like that. It's actually the contrary.

Framing it as forgiving or not forgiving is so much harsher, in my opinion.

Because I think forgiveness, honest forgiveness shouldn't be contingent on what the other person can do or if what they did can be justified. The only thing it's contingent on is if people on an individual level are willing to forgive it.

I think the best example is when a social media influencer does something wrong. In my case, it'd be when they do something that is objectively racist. At which point I tend to see many people usually not from the minority group that was discriminated against are quick to say we forgive you. This has led to discussions around who can accept apologies and in what circumstances.

Is it right to accept or deny an apology that wasn't made to you? Is it right to forgive something that happened to another person who no longer has the chance or ability to forgive it themselves. It's something that living relatives of victims of violent crimes have to grapple with all the time. Would my family forgive you I don't know because they'rs not gere to ask anymore? The only thing oeople who go through that sort of loss can do is default to when that person was around and the character they displayed and decide from their or decide based on what's best fkr them mentally.

It begs the question of-

How do you forgive someone when they never even say sorry? They're not even sorry. They don't seem sorry. In fact, they seem to be having a great time. Making it pretty apt that Milgram would tackle this concept in the way it does. As if asking if feeling entitled to forgive or not forgive in matters that didn't involve oneself is on its own a sin.

From the beginning, asking the audience to look past their egos when it comes to these things. Have characters point out how we wouldn't understand whether to forgive them or not because we haven't been through what they have. That they shoul have just minded their own business instead of concerning themselves with things that didn't impact them. Or we'll understand if we're human. That last one is even more apt.

Because being human is a very subjective concept, and it's easier for humans to consider others less human than they are. So it raises the question for me-

When did their victims stop being human to them? When did those people's humanity begin to matter so little that they basically tore it away. That they snuffed out that life. From the concept of a murder maliciously being committed. From the concept of someone no longer being alive to discuss what being human is to them because of something all ten of them directly did whether one believes they killed them with their bare hands or not. These ten sit here speaking on and on about their feelings ans what they had to go through. What it was for them.

Yet, they're still breathing some very comfortably while fully knowing at times someone or multiple people are dead because of them. When we objectively step back and think about forgiveness as a concept in milgram. It truly does just highlight why no one here deserves it. Except probably Yuno is you subscribe to the theory that her murder was just an abortion which I don't. I just feel the need to specify here that I am assuming everyone here has killed a very real other person with a life and family of their own even if they were a part of the prisoners' families.

So, no one goes, but some of them didn't directly kill. This is also a good way to still cover well yeah even if they didn't do it directly someone can no longer live out the rest of their lives due to their actions and that's still fucked up. In everyone else's case, but again, Yuno's.

Thinking about it from this perspective simply makes it more messed up that they can sit here and say the things that they do, knowing that someone else can't talk at all anymore because of their choices. That's the heavy thing about deciding whether one can forgive someone for something that results in another person's or multiple persons death or not, in my opinion.

Because forgiveness isn't about if something can be justified. It's not if the person's feelings were valid. It's about an individual choosing to see the negative outcome of another person's behavior and excuse the transgression. It's about recognizing that people will be flawed and understanding that they very well may continue to be.

Regardless of how many times they're forgiven or told that the behavior is detrimental to themselves or those around them. Such as with the behavior we see Mahiru exhibit in I Love You. It's about knowing that just because you extend forgiveness it doesn't mean you endorse or allowed whoever you forgave to do whatever they did after that point. Like with Kotoko.

It's about asking where your line is? How many times can someone say sorry just to do something worse before you go actually I'm not forgiving you. Because forgiving someone is never the problem. Condemning or excusing an action is never the problem.

How people continually exploit forgiveness being extended or denied is. There's only so far an apology can rightfully go.

In example-

If I broke my neighbors window by accident. It'd be pretty easy to forgive me and sort it out with words. Yet if I did that and then each time I went over or passed their home after that point things pf theirs kept winding up broken at a point I have no one to blame but myself for them not wanting to forgive me. Forgiveness isn't a green light to keep making the same mistakes. It's not an endorsement of the behavior or a pass to go and do it again.

It's a recognition of someone making a mistake and a personal choice to go,

"I recognize your error here, and I forgive it."

What people do with that after isn't indicative of the character of those who forgave them. It's indicative of their own character. If people were kind enough to forgave someone, and that someone then went and did the same thing again. That's a sign that the problem was fucking them to begin with. We can all choose to forgive or not, but we just aren't entitled to having individuals respond how we believe they should to that choice.

If someone uses you forgiving them as an excuse to do the thing again. That is literally the definition of a bad person. They know the thing was wrong. They know it hurt people. They recognize it ended lives. Through doing it again after having their apology accepted, that person is showing everyone that they do not care.

It does not matter how many people get hurt, how others feel about it, or how it makes them look. They're going to keep doing it because it is simply what they want to do. Full stop.

That's the tricky thing about making Milgram about forgiveness to me. Because when it truly is about forgiveness, literally everyone here would be the definition of unforgivable. Unless I was extending immense benefit of the doubt. Assumed they never meant to hurt anyone and that they aren't here for murder but just a bunch of everyday things that Milgram has arbitrarily decided to compare to the worst crime imaginable simply because someone happened to die "technically". I say technically because again still don't consider abortion murder and would not consider aborting a child a death as a result but fuck it Milgram might.

In that case, the entire series is simply using the word murderer really loosely at that point, and none of them should be here.

[gyubby99]

@disneyanddisneyships haha

I think I'm calling it "The Four Suitors"

The summary is that a princess will come of age soon and has to pick a groom, and there were four princes from different countries coming fkr her hand in marriage.

The said princess is named "Lenora"

She would do anything for the sake pf her kingdom, including even marrying one of her four suitors except for one. Teeny. Tiny. Problem.

She's a lesbian. She cannot FATHOM consummating marriage with either of them.

Now, the four suitors look like they're competing for the princess' hand from the outside

But oh. Plot twist.

None of them were interested in her.

Not in an "I despise this person" way.. more of an "I AM NOT INLOVE WITH THEM!!" way

Start off with Lucas, who had been the first one to introduce himself to Lenora.

He's very nice, treats the princess with respect and everything, but he also has one Teeny. Tiny. Problem.

He is aro/ace.

Secondly, we have Elijah! Very sweet guy, a bit stiff.. but that's because of one Teeny. Tiny. Problem.

He's GAY.

Third! Nathaniel! Not very pleased to interact with Lenora, but finds her nice. A Teeny. Tiny. Problem, though..

He is inlove with a peasant woman, and is seeing her in secret.

Ah. Lastly. Rafael. The last one to be introduced. He was as okay as the others, but not pleased with the marriage.

Because he is not only, not inlove with her but he is being married off by an abusive mother and if he doesn't comply, she will make his death look like an accident. He wants to be a poet, he has dreams.. but a prince gotta do what a prince gotta do.

All of these people have secrets too dangerous to unveil.. walking on eggshells for the sake of duty. Even if it means destroying their hearts and following their minds.

Lenora, upon hearing everyone's reasoning when they all become friends, decides to help Rafael along with everyone else, to escape his mother. They all write each other letters and meet up as this one friend group just talking. On the way Lenora meets Lucas' sister who offered to help with Raf's situation. *cue careless whisper playing*----

But oh no.

Lenora's father caught ill and is dying

And it's about time for her to decide which one to marry between the four.

Trope: Found Family, forbidden love

[screampied]

if I lose my ask progress one more time i am going to go insane !!!

hi bby its me @lxnarphase !!! (*´꒳`*) I couldn’t help but see something about kenjaku mentioned by an anon and just HAD to share my thoughts

SO HEAR ME OUT !! kenjaku and takaba duo

kenjaku is guiding takaba on how to touch you and make you feel good but poor takaba is just an overeager, messy, needy man who has been pent up all day and wants nothing more than to just slip right into your pretty cunt and rut against you until he creams inside of you

but kenjaku doesn’t let that happen, he’s mean and tells takaba ‘just the tip for now, fumihiko, don’t get too excited’ and evilly smiles when you both whine at the sensation of his sticky cockhead fucking in and out of you…

but let’s be so real, takaba cannot listen for the LIFE OF HIM and after a half-assed apology, he’s slipping all the way inside to the hilt, so wet and messy as he moans against your mouth about how good it feels to actually fuck you like this.

kenjaku just clicks his tongue and shakes his head, pulling takaba away from your mouth by his hair, that dark smile not leaving his face as he so smoothly coos at takaba for not being able to follow rules

‘can’t listen even a little bit, can you? listen to her, she’s so loud and pretty…aww, did you just drool down onto her cunt you’re so nasty to her pussy, fumihiko, I thought I was teaching you better than this, you dumb mutt’

im. im not sorry, i need them both dearly and needed to share this thought with someone (；ω；)

OMMGMGMGOGKGMGMG THANK YOU 🙇‍♀️

bc i kinda do wanna write for kenny one day esp since anons mentioned it to me 😞💪🏽

ur so real i love anything “just the tip” related

OHMYGODD??/8;9( a whole fic in my inbox bless ur heart im frothing ??? DOYOU WRITE FKR THEM ?? i need to stalk ur masterlist actually 😋

HELLOTHE ENDING. i love pussy talk like SO BAD you get me

[evansbby]

OMGGMGG the new chapter of WG!!!!!!  You have out done yourself again girlie!! 💕💕 So I reread WG before reading UTI (HELLPPP it’s supposed to stand for under the influence😭💀💀) so I could remebe everything. We cna rlly see how much of a fucking bitch ari is I’m actually so upset. I love to be so main character when reading that I act out everything that’s happening while reading so i was crying so much bc I love angst sometiems even though it hurts. Ok so let’s Do a breakdown: Spotting Ari from across the room and he already has his sights on her. Getting the context about what went down after WG was kinda sad like making eye contact w him on campus while hes with Sharon and he has the nerve to look sheepish he’s so mean. And the texts from him when the last one said Fuck you. I have other options s. Just made me feel so unspecial. Like he was probably fucking other girls right along with reader. Curtis showing up🙈🙈 he made a fruity pink drink for her 😍😍 but I’m pretty sure he drugged it or laced it so we knew what he rlly wanted to do with her. When Ari said I’m your daddy  SKSJSKSJSK I WAS WAITING FKR THAT PARTTT!! I rlly hated how he made her take the drugs tho like come on if you cared abt her u wouldn’t do that 😕😕 and the guys in the background pointing out how intoxicated she is when they were fucking like no come on 😭😭 But that scene was so fucking hot I can’t lie 😈😈😈 and then I liked that he shielded her up to the bathroom. My favourite part was when Ari and reader were in the bathroom and laughing and tickling each other AND HE CLEANED HER UP!!! and it was so sweet like he actually cared and that made me so happy and then he switched and it made me so mad bc he was being so mean like if he didn’t like Sharon just break up liek you’re already cheating on her you idiot. And I would honestly be so fucking distraught if this happened to me and I am naive sometiems so I honestly feel like I would have fallen for this too 😔😔🙏 but losing your virginity to a guy who does not give two shits about u???  (Or does he??😏😏) But it broke my heart like he just left her there on the counter after she begged him to stay (when he said Sharon’s drunk and she said I’m drunk too 🥲🥲 and he just left) and she just sat in the tub and cried??  and then when she was outside and she met Steve I thought it would be so sweet he was so nice and he had such light aura vibes like I thought he would be a sweetheart (he was not 💀). And then when Sharon stumbled over that description made me so sad. Like she’s so beautiful obviously feelings of insecurity rise up in reader bc ofc Ari would chose her over me and I like to make things extra dramatic and Ik it’s reader insert so it doesn’t apply to everyone but I’m brown so seeing the guy choose the pretty blonde girl but keeping you as his semi secret side piece probably definitely hurts and makes you feel like you’re not good enough. I rlly wish Sharon threw up on Ari when she said she didn’t feel good😭💀💀And Ari ls such a fucking dick thinking that he had the right to still call her baby after that shit went down in the bathroom but it’s apparent that he kind of cares for her or is it possessiveness?? Idk I just wish he made her feel wanted like that’s so sad. And the battle of choosing to stay or go? I wanted her to go but I didn’t know Steve would pull that shit. And then when Steve seemed disappointed that they were going back to her place I just knew he was bad news. And slipping the cab driver money 🫢🫢 Making her call him daddy and choking her just like Ari did, déjà vuuu. But then he walked her to her door 🥰🥰🥰(the bar is on the floor). And then plugging her phone in and getting all those messages from Ari but just not having the energy to respond bc she know she won’t get anywhere like my heart felt like it was going through the wringer. I listened to that song Jacob and the stone during every single sad part and ugh my heart 💔💔 

Now for the questions:

Idk if I’m team Steve or Ari 😭 Ari def feels some sort of possessiveness over reader, and he doesn’t care for Sharon so what’s stopping him? He lied to her so many times and manipulates her a lot BUT HE CARESS. And then Steve, at first I thought he only sought her out for revenge against Ari but we learn that he didn’t know her and Ari were connected (side note: also reader still doesn’t know that Steve is the captain and not just a player on the other team and that Ari and him are rival rivals) so that means he did have some interest in her but that too seemed to be even more misguided after he found out abt them. Does he want her for her? (meaning her body bc did he ever actually care abt her for her and not her body bc I can’t tell after he seemed so disappointed in not heading back to his place) He’s really mean like meaner than Ari and he honestly makes me feel unsafe 😭😭 so actually I think I’m going to pick team Ari. Ari just has to change  but he’s daddy so I know he will😔🙏🙏. But I’m really excited to explore the love triangle so we’ll see but I rlly want her and Ari to end up together lik it just seems right. 

They’re rival team captains but maybe their families are super rich so they just grew up in the same social circle and they’ve been competing in everything since they were kids whether that be in who has the best marks, cars, girls, etc.

Ari has confused feelings for reader. (Also completely off topic I’m srry but I forgot to mention when he said that he never used condoms with Sharon and mentioned knocking reader up bc he always fucks her raw and comes deep inside of her (I loved that part) 🤭🤭🤭 and that he would always used condoms with Sharon, that means that reader is special 🤭🤭but yeah Ari def is confused maybe he’s never felt real feelings towards a girl befor and he likes reader? Loves her?🤞🏽🤞🏽I don’t trust Steve but also it’s understandable that he may seem like a better option bc he isn’t shy to show that he wants reader even tho he is just using her ☹️☹️

Okay so that concludes my rant. I am honestly so so sorry I know this was really long please forgive me 😭😭 but whenever I read I always have to write my thoguhts down and word vomit every single  thing that comes to mind so eveyrhinf is so all over the place and there’s probably typos bc I’m rambling I’m rlly sorry. This chapter was so good and I’m so excited for the next part 💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽 thank you so much for sharing with us hoes 💕🤍🤍

-🦕

DINO ANON OMFG?!? THIS REVIEW?!? AHHHHH THANK U THANK U THANK U🩷🩷🩷✨✨

OK FIRSTLY WHY IS IT UTI OMFG HELP I didn’t even realise that 😭😭

Omg Ari’s texts 😭😭 “fuck you I have other options” I mean he does but he’s texting reader obsessively multiple times so he obviously has a preference of who he wants to be with 😭😭 boys are so dumb fr fr fr

And omf the bathroom scene 😢😢 I deliberately made them have a sweet moment where they were laughing and he actually cleaned her up when before he never did any aftercare at all! Bc I knew that this way it would hit harder when he left her all alone in the bathroom. AND YES ahhh it broke my heart too when reader quietly said “I’m drunk too…” bc it’s like… he cares that Sharon is drunk but what about reader??? 😢😢😢😢😢😢

It’s so important to me abojt what you said about being a brown girl so it hits extra hard. Bc as a brown girl myself, a lot of the times this is how I feel 😢😢 They always pick the white girl… no matter how hard we try or how good we look for them… we’re always the secret hookup and never the girlfriend and now that you mentioned it, it kinda validates my feelings too LIKE DO WE ALL LIVE THE SAME LIFE FR 😢😢😢

BUT also it’s funny you mentioned how you hope Sharon threw up on Ari after Steve and reader left bc SHE DID! I actually wrote that!!! But it didn’t sound quite right so I cut it out and I meant to go back and rewrite it but I forgot!!! But Sharon DID throw up on Ari that’s why Ari didn’t immediately go after Steve and reader before they got lost in the crowd 😭😭😭😭😨😨😨

As for Steve, YES YES YES I dropped little hints throughout about him being a red flag… the way he was so forward, the things he was saying, the way he was acting, how he was so touchy when he didn’t even know her??? BABY READER NEEDS TO BEWARE OF THIS MAN!!!

And yes, he choked reader just like Ari did, and he even said the same line: “do it or I’ll choke you the fuck out” I think you and maybe two other people noticed this from what I’ve read!!! HMMMMMMM

Also yes the bar is literally on the FLOOR and that’s why I think people are thinking Steve is this sweet and nice guy when really… 🤭🤭🤭🥲🥲

I want to reply in more detail but my app is getting all slow which means it’s gonna crash any second but one last thing YES YES THE PART WHERE ARI SAID HE WOULD NEVER FUCK HER HOW HE FUCKS SHARON AND HE WOULD NEVER KNOCK SHARON UP AHHHHHH I LOVED WRITINF THAT PART THANK YOU FOR RECOGNISINF IT

[kidfoundonstreets]

OMG SIBLING EVER HAPPY BIRTHDAY KID KI DSKI DKIDS KID IDIS KID SKID HAPPY BITRDTHAY!!!!! OMG!!!!!! haoppy birthday happy birthday i followed you in like june its been over half a year already LITRERALLY HOW THE FUCK you are the one who caused my absorption into mutual group. i am sososos so so thankful you dont know how thankful this has actually been the bestest time ever. i love you i love you every time i see you on the dash i go OMG????!??!?!KID!!??!?!?!?!??!?! KID FOUND ONSTRETSTEDS YOU ARE SOOSOSOOSOS SILLY SO NICE I GO OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAPPY BIRTDHYA BEST BIRTSHDYFA EVER YOU ARE SIBLING EVER we are anzu cat boy solidarity so real.. anzu cat boy siblings duo forever ily ily ily wonderful mutual on tumbglr dot com the wbebbed site. meowmeowmeomwoemwomeow KIDKIDKDIKDIDKIDK!!!!!!!!! here is a card for you

SEE LOOK WE ARE ANZU CATBOYS FOR REAL NOT FAKE NOT CLICKBAIT i was gonna send this at mindnight I AM ONLY 21 MINUTES LATE

JZHHHHHWKKJSHSKABBABBE QJBSHZH 9#9#927+2;2+$($)#0#0@)#+*!*!";"+$727292(#+#+(#)#(#+#!#(2!2+282(272+;2;$;$!#+2(2(282+#+#78$($+$$+$(#(#(#(#(2 ANAJAJWIBSHUJOQPPOJHQBJQ Q QJQJQB ANR ANR ANSNNT NANRN.. YUOOYOYOUOOU THE SISLVING THE..HFHEHHRNME.N . EOLXODES A MILLION TIMES OVER.. RHASKKU THANK TUOUT THNAK TOU THANSK TOU THSNAK TOTI

ITS BEEN HALFKA UEA.R?1?1?1!2828"0(2+2+2 ANFTHANM TOU FKR BEING IN MUTUAL GEOUP YOUR PRESNCNEN IS SO FUN AND IMSOAHAOOG TOUDE MT SILVING AND FRIENDYORUEVERY SKURBLYL

ANRNANANANNT ANT ANNT NAOMI ANTHOG MY GOOD FRIEND MY BESTIE MY BROTKHER MY FELELWO ANZU !1!1!1?2!$#)18(1 WHENENVER TOU PSOR IMMWAVUNG AND KUMPINGUOANDOWN JIHIHB HIH HIHAIAHIWHIHWI LOVEYSOSUIKCLEIEUSOSUNIOCOSUWOIII!!!! *likes post

HAHSHSHAHAH THE SILELISIT TOO THE MOST WNENEHRETIC THE BRIGHTINROEOM

anzu catboy will live on for etneneity fororevver andbvver as long as we are hehrw i hope we both bring rhe kehacy until death <3333$$ MEOEMQKWIAIAUWUWMEOWIQ

mutuals mrrlala mttual mutural youu!! youi

MROEOWMQNSKAUAUWYSJDJSJSHW SHDJSHWJWHAHA YEHAHHH LETS GO LERS FO LWLRLS FOFKSJWKWJQ YOUR ART IS PURE SAORINTIN BOOST THE SHAPES HE COLEOS RHE NOMMABLE OF OT ALL!!1!1!1!1!1 RHEHEHHEHE WHAHHHHSGSHWHWJDJSJWJWJW AND ESPEOICALLT SINCE IRS MT FEIENDS IT JUSR MAKESNIT SOS PERFECT ILVOEOWLCOEN WHAT YOU XREATE I LOVE YOU ILCOS NOEL LEVINE WAHAHHGSHSHWBI WISH BLODNES WERE REAL I RLALLT DO AGAHSHSHQ THE ANZU DESIGNS I ASORW RHEM THEYRE PROABBAKT MY FACORITE PART HEHEHDJHWHEHE EHEHEHEGEJDHWJEHGHW THE TWISNEIS THESIELSLSIES OH THE MOSCHEVIOSUSUEIZES LERS DANCE IN THE CONFERTI YAGSZIYAAYAYAY!!! YOU WERE MAKAING THIS AFTER 12 OWLAKSE GET SOME GOKD SLEEP OH NO

YELELING AND POINTING AT THE SCREEN. SHON RISKSISMI TSHIN TUSKSISMSI SHINS JSIS S SHSOS SHSOSJSN MY GUY MY BLEORBEO THE THE R EHHEJJBW EHHDJWHWHHEWHW WJEHEH 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥EVEN RUSHED YOUR ART MAKSA ME SO HAPPT RHERES CLEAR SKILL

[liliansun]

Relationship investigator anon here! 😃 allow me to dive into (you) why JENO is terrible for sal. I know what you're thinking - i'm CRAZY. And i am 😭 i'm reading too much into this. I genuinely like their little interactions so far but DAMN boy. Okay so what i glean from these girls' personalities, first of all, is that sal is honestly quite sweet and takes care of the others. So do the others but idk i think you showed that side of sal more?? Like neowa and mal are the savage little devils and we love them for that (sad girl hours for neowa and mal??? GOD PLEASE DONT LET HEM BE SAD) but like sal is sweet and i feel like her having him as a lockscreen is proof that she is falling too fast??,, and she's gonna get hurt bc jeno is quiet and silent and maybe he just don't know what he's feeling until she's sad :((

MAL on the other hand. Like that girl is gonna get so soft for jaemin and then it'll be a push and pull until she gives in and lets him in. Love how he flirts with her tbh and her reactions are everything?? I can't waot fkr their storyy, and I know jaemin will treat her well.

Joy and mark,, do i have tk say anymore?? Like they're already a thing and it's gonna be super sad seeing joy be upset and lonely without her man around BUT THEN SHE and MARK find a way thrpugh it bc mark is a man who solves issues and he wouldn't want his girl to be suffering alone ykwim

And then neowa and renjun. Theirs is gonna be such a finale?? You got renjun who's in love with yn and then neowa who's been pining fkr him for a while and they're both going to hurt esp when he has to face yns rejection to get over it and realize that neowa was right there for him?? Short king stand UP

And haechan and yn , tbh atp i think yn just needs tk have a talk w him and she'll realize she likea him and he does too and that it was all bc he was afraid of letting her know about the personality his frienda knew about. Renjun might be the little bastard causing little uncertainties i think but the love is there.

Jeno though 🤨 he's a dark horse and i KNOW he's gonna hurt sal 😤

I am so psyched for your new stories?? Like actually excites bouncing off my seat and the walls and you're def gonna deliver as always FR i LOVE YOU (im so sorry for the long ass post wtf is wrong with me)

baby. lemme start off with this was so long and i was at work like 😧 well i still am at work but anyways😭

okay i get where you’re coming from w jeno BUT PLEASE TRUST HIM. they’re all gonna get hurt, both parties and it’s gonna suck and you (and i) might cry but it’s gonna be worth it in the end :( and i think i said it in another ask or something but jeno is gonna show how he feels more in jaemin’s story bc they’re like this 🤞(i spent too long looking for his emoji HELP)

omg jaemin’s story i’m too excited to write like y’all thought i was excited to write hyucks but DEAR LORD AM I READY FOR YALL TO SEE HOW THEY PLAY OUT.

joy and mark are already so cute but i just wanna be the first to say they gonna be going THROUGH IT. like y’all thought y/n and hyuck were going through it..just wait 😁😭

AND JUN AND NEOWA,, there is a reason theirs is last and you’ll know the more we progress through the others stories bc like rn we’re (me) hinting at it but they are gonna be so lowkey about it until BAM their story comes to light and it’ll all be like OOO AHH GASP

hyuck and y/n,, i can’t say anything bc it’s still wip rn 👀 but as these chapters i’m writing rn,, it’ll get better for them. y’all just don’t know what i know and it’s kipling me bc i’m like on ch 29? about to write 30? and i think y’all are on 25 😭

and jeno will or will not hurt sal (unintentionally) but it’s gonna be vice versa and i’m already saying too much y’all got me talking about things i’m NOT SUPPOSED TO BE TALKINF ABOJT

AND IM EXCITED FOR YOU TO READ THEM,, you and the other anons and everyone just make my heart so full y’all don’t even know and i love y’all’s feedback and seeing how y’all react it just brings me happiness AND I LOVEYOU 😁😚🫶🤭

[vcid-rvin]

I wish he’d go crazy over my selfies….i don’t even feel desirable enough to send the nudes and i just idk…if I’m still not doing enough and the things I have done aren’t recognized and aren’t good enough…I’m giving everything I have and have great amount of pressure and expectation and just no relief…as if I don’t feel loved and unhappy…i don’t understand why the spite and pettiness…you don’t post me because i don’t post you? Even though I had an issue well before you, and you were posting me fine? To not send me things or not play stuff with me because again I was misunderstood and you took everything personally…to not do so many things and withhold pure care and effort just because i can’t do some of the same things, even though I’m trying to make up for it in other ways?? Not everyone’s 100% is the same and it’s unbelievably unfair and controlling to try and force someone to be at your level…it’s so hurtful and painful and heartbreaking when he gets like this…he acts as if I’ve done nothing for him and treat him like shit…as if I don’t shower him with attention and affection constantly all day…I’m officially entirely emotionally drained and just exhausted from thinking…and here I am like ooo he called me pretty lady and ooo he rubbed my feet. It’s beyond sweet, but from his past words i can’t help but feel like he’s only doing it for his own gain, he’s only doing it so I do sometbing fkr him…because i Guess to him I don’t do anything good…that sucks..and that’s hurts…i wish it were different. I wish he’d just communicate, and had communicated from the start instead of lashing out at me for some situation he misunderstood that i did no wrong in…i feel like that set the tone for every interaction afterward and he’s got this set idea of me… he even puts a tone to my text when I’m simply just typing words or even more often using voice to text…and he acts as if I’m being malicious or formatting a certain way on purpose or like i always have some subtext…I’m a blunt person and that’s not at all who i am…he doesn’t even see me, just the idea of what he wants me to be…a shell for him to project his own angers into…it fuckimg hurts. It hurts really fucking bad..

[dumbbitchfrommars]

Tonight has proven to have many many more developments than I expected cringey, awkward, Annoying Noah is apparently admired by many more than just me. Two girls who are very much taken have both expressed their interest in him. He’s a fuckboy to be certain. He flaunts his bachelor status as much as possible to us all. The interesting this is how deep he’s got his hooks into the girl who’s very much taken. But it’s interesting because I noticed their chemistry from day one. In fact - I think she didn’t like me initially purely because he had chemistry with me too. And he withdrew, or he noticed my interest and withdrew - to prove to her his desires are strictly for her. GOD. This is deep and complex and so fucking messy. And Amy on the other hand… the sweetest most innocent girlie pop. She’s had a sex dream with him?! It makes complete sense to be fair. He’s tall and he has a dominant, cocky energy that is irresistible. But at the same time.. we can all do better. He’s awkward and pathetic. But something about it is so fucking sexy. And I know that he noticed my attention was on the other guy the other night. It’s the only reason be fave me that much attention for the first time in tbe many months we’ve known eachother. And after Hannah left! How fucking predictable. It all makes so much sense and it is so frustrating and disappointing that it does. I hate men. I hate men! They aren’t even creepy anymore! They’re just toxic and manipulative and pathetic!!!!!! But to be fair, I knew from day one I can do and want better, so he is entitled to his own romantic interests. But Tom on the other hand.. I can’t believe he’s single now and I had no idea. How interesting. I wonder if I can pretend I don’t know. I can’t but I’ll try!! How interesting tho.. I wonder who ended things? It must have been his gf. Of course it was. He seems like a bit of an annoyance to be completely fair. Men at 22 are kinda pathetic and annoying.

Anyway. Everything about tonight has been so enlightening. It almost makes the tinnitus worth it. I guess I’m still relying on the idea that one day (soon!) they will invent some kind of treatment fkr tinnitus to either reduce or fix it. Anyway.

NDJSKDKKDKDFJKEJ. Whether or not he’s single… it’s fucking humiliating.

I was under the impression no one was around and I was changing in front of him. Ass out and everytbing. And god knows he looked. My dumb ass just kept changing despite him being ther. But tbh.. why did he stay instead of immediately leaving ? Because my instinct would be to leave immediately. But he lingered. And I turned my back to him tk keep changing. Ass out. Wow. I really be unintentionally flirting with every guy. Particularly the ones I like.

I still can’t help but wonder about the one who was friends with joe. Who are you! What’s your name? Why are you lowkey clapped but with good style. Are you in honours too? Phd? Are you marine? Who are you? Sexy man… I just wanna admire you a little bit more. Big arms are always and forever my weakness. Pin me down, child me, literally do nothing at all. Flex. Fix your hair. Put something somewhere. Just let me admire your beautiful sexy amazing arms. IM SO HORNY. I can’t help it. Single for many years now. And always sexually active. Even at my detriment. I traumatised myself to teach myself what I’m worthy of. Because I KNOW I’m worth hot, sexy, steamy, naughty, gorgeously magical sexual encounters. Anyway. I’m gonna try forget the fact that he broke up with his gf. Too fresh. I am sick of being the rebound. I’ve been the rebound for two guys now. One was truly pathetic. The other was concerning and pathetic. And he Matched my energy to fuck with me. Any way. ANYWAY!!!!!

I hate men I hate men I hate men I hate how much I love stupid silly disgusting pathetic men. Because in their weakness, they are inherently always going to be so powerful and sexy and desirable. Juicy. Firm. Strong. Powerful. Powerful……

AnywY. Ugh ughuchbbbbbbbbdjsjwkwkxjdjwnwnxjdjsjsjjsjsjdjd

How annoying. I need to ask for an extension on my assignment. Sfjdpjd chckicn assignment. I am sleepy. Please. And I have some dreams tonight. !! I know I was nIght and I had many drinks but I’m okay!! I promise I’m okay. I would like to have some dreams. Thank you. I appreciate it. I can’t believe I took on another shift without even have a confirmed extensifik. Djjddjjdjdnend xjdjdjdnsndhdndnxnjdwjmemsndnfjdjejfncnkwkskfnnfhtfijfjfhdjdhd

[yelenasdiary]

Nah but the fact that this anonymous person admits to having multiple accounts is crazy. How obsessed and lifeless must you be? This is some next-level stalker and obsession thing. So here you go dipshit. Here is s link thst may help with your little problem. I get that you’re lashing out for attention because no one else will give you their time of day but this is really sad and hard to watch. It’s not even fuel to anyone’s anger but downright cringe to watch you try to put someone down over ANONYMOUS at that 💀

As for the posting thing this wonderful writer can post whenever they want. I get the feeling that you are not actually a writer but you’re gonna say “yes I am” so you can try to disprove me. But anyone who wants to force someone into writing does not do it themselves. This person gives you content fkr free and this is what you say to them? You really think this will make them post more?

Of course you don’t. Because at the end of the day you don’t actually care about the writing and we can tell. You’re just a sad troll who needs some type of attention even if it’s bad. So here you go honey. Here’s those 5 secs of attention you weren’t given as a child. Do you need a hug too? Awww sad little lifeless freak needs tk put others down on the Internet just to feel some happiness 🥺 how tragic

I wanted to quickly respond to this before I delete all my asks. I can't even put into words how concerned I am for that anon. Making account after account just to send me hateful stuff is so low and I honestly hope they can get some help.

I know they'll probably see this and send me something else crappy and uncalled for, I have so many asks from them it's insane, I turned my notifications off for Tumblr, deleted the app, came home from work and saw just spammed comments in my asks from them.

Whoever you are, I'm just deleting your messages as they come through. I'm not wasting my time putting up with your crap.

& I want to thank you, Anon for sending me this, you are so right and on the money! I'm sending lots of love and hugs your way!

[tfyouthinkiam505]

really wish i could expose my ex to his stupid friend who was tryina tell me that im the problem and that i was the asshole

im not the one who sent a video of someone killing themself to someone who i knew was struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts, thinking it was funny

im not the one who flashed the other person multiple times without their consent and before we were anywhere near being a "thing"

im not the one who asked someone out and then proceeded to threaten to kms after being rejected because the other didnt want to be in a long distance relationship and didnt really feel that way about me, forcing them to agree and say theyll go out with me

and thats all just within the first MONTH of us even KNOWING eachother

im not the one who broke up with him while laughing

im not the one who, right after breaking up, went off n started fuckin someone else, who was a minor 4 years younger than me while im a grown ass adult

and dont even get me started on all the shit that i wasnt the one who did THROUGHOUT our 2 year long relationship

what did i do that was so much worse than what he did?

most my relationships before him were really abusive. so i lost my temper a few times when HED provoke me. i never hit him tho. just yelled. hes the one whos a body builder twice my size backing me into a corner while yelling and raising his fist at me like hes boutta hit me over some small shit

picked on him a little bit. picking on others is how i show my affection. cause being vulnerable wasnt a good thing to me after yknow. being in so many abusive relationships beforehand as well as all the neglect from my parents throughout my life. so its kinda just how i am

thats about it.

towards the end of our relationship when shit was getting real bad, i started losing feelings for him and gaining feelings for someone else. but its not like i acted on them n me n that person didnt even get together till like 3 months after my ex n i had broken up

the thought i was guilt tripping him when id have panics attacks over something that was wrong and confided in him over and for, in again, a panicked state, taking up his offers to help fix the problem

he offered to get me something that would help the situation

and if i wasnt in the middle of a panic attack, i would have 100% declined and told him i was fine. i cant think straight when im panicking and i never asked him to help me. he offered of his own free will and me being in the wrong state of mind was reaching around frantically for anything i could get that would ease my anxiety

but ig all those things are awful and make me a terrible human being

otherwise all i did was give him gifts

gave him all my attention and free time

loved him

comforted him when he was sad or upset

held him when hed cry when he visited

even if it was after he was finished blowing up at me n making me fear for my life wonderin if he was gonna hurt me or not

i always did my best to be there fkr him with whatever he needed

so idk 🤷‍♂️

[brevemasinfinita]

five months since we last saw each other, two months since he broke up with me.

five/two months older, i must admit just because you're clean don't mean you don't miss it. five/two months older i won't give in. now that im clean ill never gonna risk it. the drown was the very worst, when the flowers that we grew together died of thirst. it was months and months of back and forth.

well. he ruined me. he completely shattered me. he made me suffer so fucking much. he made me cry and beg on my knees for him to stay and i got nothing in return. with all the weapons he fights with, the silence is the most violent. tell me how to feel about you know? lemme know. do i suffocate or let go?

ok, enough with the song lyrics. but tbh that's the way i know how to communicate. fuck.

i started smoking very very frequently, i started to starve a little, not feel hunger or joy, never smile. faking smiles at parties and events, pretending im ok. i might be ok but im not fine at all.

all the hell that he put me through made me into another person. a silent person. a fearful person. a person that doesn't want to reach out anymore cause wont get nothing back probably. a person very scared of falling in love again. a person that thinks that that love was a lie, that love is a lie. a person that was reborn and has a crush now but its too afraid to speak it, to show emotions/feelings. a person that can't show who they are because of fear.

and funny thing is, after some weeks, i couldn't recognize him anymore, whether it be on pictures or tweets or anything else. i just thought he was boring, so very boring. i thought god but he was funnier and cooler when he was with me. now i see him online and simply think i would never ever like liiike that person, or just like even. he's boring, tacky, awful, annoying... i don't love nor hate him anymore. im very indifferent, except fkr the times i wish he feels miserable and unhappy and choke on food and make a scene, a pathetic scene. but mostly im indifferent.

anyways i dont feel safe or comfortable to say things like these on twitter cause he might see it. i deleted tweets talking about the date i had and how afraid i am because of him. i only feel safe to express myself here, on tumblr.

im just so very tired of being the only one making an effort in every single fucking relationship i have. am i not worth it? am i boring? today i texted some friends asking to hang and i immediately regretted it and though they was just being polite but didn't want to talk to me or go out with me. thanks, people from my past. seriously, thank you so much. i guess you thought i didnt have traumas enough.

i could say all your names, i could ask people to hate you. but honestly i dont care and im tired. get fucked by yourselves

i just wanted to vent.

ps yeah he wasnt the only boy to break my heart last year. some friends did it too. im talking about you, drew. but also many other people.

[thatfaerieprincess]

For anyone doubting the nature of my sanity, I spent about 5 hours sitting in a giant box on the kitchen floor today. So uh. I’m feeling great. Yep.

[darth-vading]

Im still so fucking pissed and upset abt yesterday