#who didn't want golden nails tbh

[stepswordsen]

【Magi】 Judar and JuAli 🐈‍⬛🖤 ❤️ 💛

JuAli WIP doodles 🖤 ❤️ 💛

Quick doodles before I head back to my assignments

Been a while since I drew Judar and Alibaba together… I missed them!!! I hope to draw them more~

You can see the rest under the cut~

I wasn't sure if I should post my sketches here since they're so messy but I thought I might as well

I'll copy paste my old rambles too since I have more to add this time

2024 vs. 2022

(2024)

Comparison (2022 ~ 2023)

(2024)

Comparison (November 2022)

For the kissy one:

Wasn't sure which one I liked more tbh

1st one fits more...

Though for the 2nd one, I think Judar looks more efforted ADHSHDHSH

Since I excel at drawing meow meow mf charas

3rd one I drew in November 2022. The expressions are still cute in this one so I still like it, but my brush strokes improved a lot since then

For the hanfu Judar one:

Recent versions (+ the old one from 2022)

I've been playing around with the eyes~ I like these ones best. The eyes are bigger in the 1st one, and the others have them a bit smaller. The 1st one has a more innocent look. The 2nd has more slitted eyes and a "seductive" look?

Judar has sharp (tsurime) eyes and rings in his eyes, which are really fun to draw hehe 🤗

I'll redraw the hair soon! I just drew it quickly in like 5 minutes. It's finals season for me. I'm not fully free from this semester so I'm still quite busy, but you'll probably see small doodles from me 🙏

I'm definitely seeing art improvement (improvement in brush strokes and anatomy and proportions)

Ohtaka deliberately draws hatched lines near Judar's eyes to represent his eyeshadow 🤭 ❤️

I drew the hair quickly, so I didn't pay much attention to the shapes of the hair spikes so it's not as soft. But even with the quick doodle, the hair has better weight now. Once I get to refine things properly, I'll actually pay attention to the way his hair spikes are drawn.

I was recently rereading my old dialogue scripts from my JuAli AU and revamping them! I doodled Judar and Alibaba SO much in 2022. It's the Fire/Ice duality and Black Cat x Golden Retriever ship dynamic 🖤💛🐈‍⬛🐕

I wanna draw JuAli again soon and redraw my old doodles. JuAli is my main Magi ship so ofc I wanna draw lots of them~ I haven't gotten the time yet, but I want to draw my ships like AliHaku, SinJa, and KouMor eventually, too 🙏✨

Inspiration

Based on this black and red (Judar colours) hanfu I got~

Judar rambles

I originally drew Judar wearing hanfu in 2022! Still one of my personal fave doodles ❤️ Judar is my fave (no one is surprised, I have the most obvious predictable tastes in the world LMAO). A meow meow mf perfect for my tastes.

Judar fits perfectly into the highly specific Sen-core niche that my top faves all tend to fall under - Meow meow mf. C*nty sen-core bastard cat who's violent, threatens people, and ok with murder. Bloodthirsty. Monochrome aesthetic colour palette.

Manga Judar has red eyeliner (?) and anime Judar has purple eyeshadow? Both are good, but I like Judar with red eyeliner since black and red are his theme colours! 🖤❤️ I like how the colours pop, the contrast against his design, and how it matches his red eyes.

In my HCs, Judar wears a type of hanfu called Ruqun (襦裙). Ru (襦) is the cross-collared top of a hanfu, and the wrap-around skirt is called Qun (裙). The coat jacket is called Da Xiu Shan (大袖衫).

I want him to wear black, white, red, gold, hanfu & hanfu earrings, with red eyeliner and black painted nails 🤗

I still need to pick my headcanon hanfu earrings for Judar... I imagine they'd be gold with red accessories.

I just have to refine the eyes, redraw the hair and hanfu, and then start doing the lineart for it! I love the expression tbh

Additional rambles

I miss my sons, I wanna draw my HC designs of JuAli (with Judar wearing hanfu and Alibaba with tanner skin, wearing traditional Arabic clothes), as a fix-it for the obvious colourism going on in Magi's character designs of SWANA and South Asian inspired characters

I bought black and red hanfu back in 2023. I based my Judar hanfu doodles on it 🥺❤️ It's in Judar colours. Black red and white 🖤❤️🤍 I'm so HAPPY to get something that reminds me of my fave 🥰🤭❤️✨ I got it from the Hanfu Story~ They have such a large selection of hanfu and they're all so gorgeous~

Basically Judar themed hanfu~ I love traditional clothes, so it's my dream to collect them! Now I can use it as refs to draw him with the poses and lighting I want teehee. Hanfu & huafu look GORGEOUS to me. I also have Việt Phục like áo dài and áo tấc~

The colours are amazing!! I love black and red combo 😭💖 It's way too easy to fall into the fashion hole and collecting traditional clothes but I definitely want more in the future!

Magi: Ch. 110 - 111, Ch. 196 - 197, Ch. 239, Ch. 288

I love how Ohtaka stylizes and draws the shape of Judar's hair and braids. It's so clever how she simplifies the shapes. It just looks so good. It looks galaxy/tornado shaped… I love how the hatched lines above his eyes in Ohtaka's inking represents his eyeliner... ❤️

Judar's expressions from Ch. 110 - 111 are so unhinged… The Ch. 288 omake Judar is iconic. Fucking crazy ass LMAO 😭😂 Love you tho! 💞🫶

I'll be honest. I've thought about changing my PFP to this Judar again from the Magi omakes, like I thought of doing it as an April Fool's joke before, but I feel like no one would bat an eye cuz of how my faves are like LMFAO

Sen-core faves: Murderous, bloodthirsty, violent (or at the very least, has a disposition for violence), MAY eat people and/or their innards 🙌

JuAli core ship posts

And while you're at it, have the meme edit of them I made (1st image)

Anyways I made the 1st image's meme edit myself <33

Alibaba with tanner skin has such great visual contrast against his earrings~

I also wanna commission arts of JuAli at one point but I'd want to do it with my headcanon designs of them (Judar wearing hanfu and Alibaba with tanner skin wearing traditional Arabic clothes)

Art rambles

When I sketch, I draw out the expressions and decide which ones looks best (I either do it once or a few ~ several times) depending on whether I'm satisfied with it. I like the two most recent 2024 versions I showed~ The old ones are still nice... But I prefer the recent versions, because I think it shows how my art style and proportions improved.

These sketches are super messy right now so when I get the time I'll refine them more! It's just to make it consistent with my current style. I'm a little insecure about my sketches, so I prefer to keep most of them on priv for mutuals.

Since I'm not really a fan of the idea of my sketches/WIPs getting posted around when I'm bound to fix/refine/improve on them later when I get the chance to refine them. Though thankfully with my 2022+ lining style, my sketches look more "aesthetically nice" or "post worthy" to me...

Perhaps in the future... I do genuinely like my art style and I'm very happy with my art improvement, but I want to keep growing as an artist first. I want to reach the point where I manage to become more technically skilled and confident about my works (even my sketches)

Though since I posted the rest of the sketches under the cut, feel free to reblog them if you want!

[cloudcountry]

OKAY first thoughts on Ikepri men

Leon: Awoo I think I know who I'm choosing like oajbsdijb. He has a beautiful smile and beautiful hair and he's good with kids! Also dang his outfit looks so good! I want him. That one. That's mine.

Chevalier: He's cold but I'm kinda interested tho?? Like I don't know why but I like him?? Like he's so cool but he also put a sword to my throat which wasn't as cool. But I'm kinda interested in him and want to know more

Yves: LMAO I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT. I'm sorry but I need to fix his hair because I can't take him seriously. He gives me wet cat vibes and I think it's so funny. But he's a sassy tsundere so that's cool I guess

Nokto: Ah yes, the classic otome game character that immediately flirts with you. I can't look at him without seeing Zen from Mystic Messenger in more ways than one. I'm not very impressed by someone who can't even remember if I was a fling and immediately tries to flirt. Keeping him at a distance

Licht: Edgy man. Idk much about him because he's quiet but he's kinda cool I guess?? He's pretty and has nice fluffy hair but he gives me sleepy boy vibes and lone wolf. I'm not too interested in him but more so than others

Clavis: My first thought is woah so pretty :O but then I found out he's mischievous and a trouble maker and I can't deal with that. He's pretty but not for me. Would love to brush/run my hands through his hair tho. Also his belts confuse me

Jin: LMAO he looks like a normal guy and acts like a normal guy. I'm sorry he just looks so average. I can't get much of a read on him tho so it kinda reminds me of Trey but idk aside from that.

Luke: :O Woah another pretty man?? He seems fun and I like his outfit a lot I mean the little animal is so cute! He's adorable and I want to hug him but idk about romance

Sariel: ;-; no. Get away from me. His hair, his outfit, his threats, his attitude and personality...please keep him away from me. He scares me but also like he gets on my nerves? Idk how to describe it but he feels off and shady. I usually trust demons but nah not this one. Also giving heavy Jade vibes

Rio: did they make a golden retriever into a person?? I love how he's actually referred to as a dog/pet and he says nothing about it. But he's a major simp for the mc and I'm not a fan. He looks better as a butler but idk he's too obsessed with me for me to be interested. Also I can't read his name and not see that blue bird

Gilbert: ...I've only read his description but I love him. Pretty, mysterious, edgy, and he's feared? Sign me up. Also that outfit, like slayy man. I'm going to steal that cape and wear it. Awooga this man he's so edgy but danggggg

Keith: All these fancy names and then there's Keith. Idk he's soft and cool sure but not for me. Too soft for me. Also his hair and last name makes me think they tried to put Dan Howell in the game. It says he has two sides so I guess that's cool but not for me

Silvio: Cruella De Vil wannabe...okay but he's pretty but no. His whole throw money at things to solve problems is no. He's wearing lots of jewelry which makes me want to imagine me as a peacock robbing him. Yeah that fits. Rob him and wear that cloak around and act smug in front of him. What's he gonna do? Throw money at me?

PLS leon is really nice!!! he's more like an older brother figure to me personally but i think hiss hugs would cure my depression LMAO

ASJGDFFAJS STOP I LAUGHED REALLY LOUD WHEN I READ WHAT YOU WROTE ABOUT CHEVIE.,,.,.,. HES SO SILLY apparently he's really sweet ocne you get to know him but hes a biit prickly at the beginning (but hey, isnt that the same for half the love interests?)

YOU HIT THE NAIL ON HIS HEAD FOR YVES. HES SO WET CAT CODED. his route is so sad but sosososo sweet its so adorable. i want to hug him. he's like a bestie to me tbh i would fight anyone that looks at himw rong FR. HE DESERVES THE WORLD AJHSGDAJ

okay i'll admit i didn't like nokto at first because he's the flirty type but. he doesn't really give me the creeps anymore? now that i know why he does that./ he's kinda just there for me but he looks a lot liek zen from mystic messenger HELP

LICHT IS SOOOOO RPETTY and hes the reserved type. i am foaming at the mouth. I WANTED TO PLAY HSI ROUTE FIRST but yves was probably the better choice for my frist route since his route os apparently super heavy ^^;

CLAVIS IS SO GOOFY his relationship with the mc is honestly so adorable if you pick him as a love interest,.., theyre so teasinga nd wholesome towards each other and if my future relationship doesnt look like tehres I DONT WANT IT.

jin scares me but yorue right about him being painful;ly average. i got that impression too but apparently his route punched people in the gut KASHGD

OMG YES. I ADORE LUKE. ive only played yves's route so far but luke is so kind. hes so sweet. hes so godo at talking peoplee down from anxiety and even though he has a temper himself hes so good at regulating emotions??? i want to hug him so bad. he was so nice to mc in the beginning of yves's route too.

SARIEL'S HAIR BOTHERS ME TOO LMAOOOO I GET IT!!! he has a sprite with a whip and i hate it. umm he's kinda nice sometimes but i dont really have an impression of him yet!!

RIO IS TEH SWEETEST :((( I WOULD DIE FOR HIM. he is so kind to mc and i know the whole obsessed thing isnt for everyone (it put me off at first too LMAO) but really he just loves her unconditionally and wants her to be happy its so cute im gonna die

THE WAY I SCREAMED WHEN YOU SAID YOUW ERE ALREADY IN LOVE WITH GILBERT you and the whole ikepri fandom tbh. may i introduce you to his weird ass gloves and their unexpected appeal. also he has a cane which is silly. his coat is weird. i am picturing that diagram vio made for his outfit ITS RIDICULOUS.

keith's hair looks so soft i want to run my fingers through it in a very bestie way. he gave me a weird vibe when i saw him first but the second he opened his mouth teh weird vibe disappeared. he just seems so sweet and gentle :((

i do NOT like silvio next

THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS RY I HAD SO MUCH FUN ANSWERING TI GIGGLINGA ND KCIKING MY FEEET AJSHDFJA

[trashlie]

hey, i'm that anon that sent you the long message about FP 215 and 216 a while ago, thank you for giving such an elaborate response. and i hope you get plenty of time to relax and catch up on sleep, make sure to drink lots of water! 💗

i'm dropping by to bring up a couple of points for your consideration, if you don't mind. just something i've been thinking about lately.

i absolutely agree with you that kousuke doesn't really want nol out of his life. in my opinion, the reason is not guilt or jealousy or loneliness (i bet he'd 100% prefer being an only child even if his siblings were born in wedlock, also he's had a friend group in college, so he is/was capable of making friends). the reason for it is fear. 1) fear of disappointing father - since kousuke is nol's 'guardian' and if anything happens to nol, it'll be a 'failure' on his side and strain his relationship with rand. 2) fear of losing control - nol being gone = out of reach = out of his control = unpredictable = more of a threat. and we know how much kousuke needs to control everything in his life. 3) fear of losing a part of his identity - being 'better' than nol has become a big part of who he is. kousuke is nothing without his name, the company, etc. similarly, traits like being the better, smarter, more successful brother, the golden child, the 'rightful' heir have all become a part of him thanks to nol. kousuke can only achieve those by bringing nol down to push himself up. he needs nol to remind him of those traits, and he needs nol so he can look better compared to him to other people. and i believe he subconsciously realizes this, and hates nol even more for it.

in general, a lot of kousuke's behavior and the main reason for kousuke's mental state is that he's being eaten alive by his fears. fear of failure, fear of disappointment, fear of his image being damaged, fear of not being in control, fear of being exposed, fear of being nothing, fear of losing everything etc. some of those fears are made up and/or planted by yui (like disappointing his father, or nol being the enemy), but to kousuke, they're very much real. and if kousuke's going to grow, dealing with those fears, and recognizing the root causes of them (there's multiple), will be a big part of it. for now, in his current state... it seems to me like he's completely overwhelmed and craves safety more than anything, and well. yui is right there. idk if the brothers can ever reconcile tbh... it seems to me that nol hasn't completely lost hope in his brother yet, so it'll completely depend on kousuke.

and good point, you're probably right about nessa protecting nol from yui until she couldn't anymore, i didn't think of that, thanks for pointing it out! we still know so little about nessa and yui both, it's going to be really interesting to learn more about them...

AAAAHHHH hello Nonny! I've been looking forward to you coming back! Also thank you! I am trying my best!!! This week has not been my best but at least my brain is feeling less sluggish, so there's that at least!

Also I have got to say, reading this message made me feel really weepy. I think it's obvious, but Kousuke is a character I've come to be just as invested in as I am in Nol and Shinae and now Alyssa, and I think you hit the nail right on the head. I think because of the way Kousuke has treated Nol, and his apparent privilege coupled with his less than savory personality, a lot of readers just kind of... dismiss him. And to some degree, I get it. Kousuke is rarely doing himself any favors to endear the audience to him - but that is what makes him such a fascinating character. The story proves that privilege and opportunity alone are not enough, but it also shows us that people do not exist in a vacuum, and that everything they do is impacted by and also impacts something else.

And you're right - it does come down to fear, and there's a reason fear remains a prevailing emotion/driver in many stories. I think man vs man conflict so often comes down to fear, it's the root of a lot of ugly emotion. Jealousy stems from it - a fear that someone has something you don't, that maybe you'll never come to possess yourself.

I think there's a lot to be said of formative foundations. Had Kousuke been older when he learned of Nol, had he received security and love and comfort from his parents, maybe we wouldn't be here. But it was when he was young enough to be influenced, when he was so lacking in his father's love, and to learn that this boy knew there existed a side to Rand that he himself had never met? It never registered to him that Nol had never actually met him because fear came crashing down - all those rumors people were whispering about him were true. Rand, the man too busy for his own son, too busy for his own family, had a whole other family, and they knew a version of him that he'd never gotten to meet. It took root in him at such a young age all it could do was grow with him like a weed. He had no way to know otherwise!

And something that really fosters all that fear IS the fact that he endured that kind of neglect. On some level, Kousuke knows what Yui does. He's gone to great lengths to try to keep his life private from her so she doesn't interfere. He was rightfully upset when he realized she'd gone behind his back to hire Shinae (and under such false pretenses, too!) and upset about the birthday antics. But he still went to her when he found out Nol might leave, that he might have a one up on him. He knows Yui is horrible, but she's also his only pillar of security. She's also the one who fosters that sort of false reality he lives in, because it's only there that he has that security. When facts and logic counter what he believes, he loses control, and he retreats into the version of reality he knows, because that's the only place he feels safe. I think that's a big reason why he cannot face the truth, why he so often finds himself rewriting accounts of things that happened - he cannot handle the unsettling dissonance between what he believes and what is so.

What a driver fear is, too! On some level, I think Kousuke might be aware of that connection of his identity with Nol. Perhaps not on a conscious level, but I think subconscious he reacts to Nol leaving for exactly that reason - without Nol to serve as a metric for which to measure himself against, how can he be sure he's better, he's the best? As much as Kousuke's identity is wrapped up in trying to please his father and earn a transactional concept of love, it's also wrapped up in being Nol's guardian - which, as you point out, is just an offshoot of not disappointing Rand. I definitely agree, too; it just makes that resentment stronger. Wouldn't you feel a little self-loathing, too, knowing that you can only see your greatness if you see how you measure against someone else? Living and believing this person you are constantly trying to be better than might know something you don't, might have been privy to something you never were? Acknowledging that he tears down Nol because a part of him doesn't trust that he can lord over him unless he does, that maybe he COULD best him?

It makes such COMPELLING storytelling! Once you can see Kousuke from this angle, it makes sense - why he can't stop trying to drag Nol down into his pit, why he stumbles on reality and has to rewrite things, why he's so desperately in need of control. It's so easy to say that Kousuke should know better because he's an adult, but one of the loudest, flashiest messages of ILY is that age does not make someone any better lol. Wisdom doesn't come with age - it comes with experience and also humility. There's no room for that in Kousuke's life and his experiences definitely are lesser than others. He's surrounded by people who tell him what he wants to hear, who just make nice with him to get by and maybe see if they can take advantage of their proximity to him. What experiences does he have, outside of those with Nol, that can drown out the fear he's living with?

Something someone brought up on reddit was that Kousuke was, for the most part, pretty "chill" (lol chill for Kousuke that is) when we first met him at the start of the story. Okay, let's nix that, he DID trip Shinae for a piece of cake LMAO but that brings me to what I'm getting at. When the story opens, it feels like Kousuke isn't around Nol nearly as much. He has an informant in Soushi which allows Kousuke to keep tabs on Nol without needing to be involved, and he's at a sense of peace. When we see him interacting with Shinae, while he's definitely cold and blunt, he does try to treat her with some regard of respect after Shinae essentially saves his hide by keeping Nol's date-rape drink a secret. Now we certainly can argue that this is because Kousuke feels he is indebted to Shinae, but I think it's also because when he has less of that stress going on, when he has a clearer mind that's not so cluttered with his fear, he has room to be the gentleman he wants to believe he is, to be the person he hopes will make Rand proud.

But it's once Kousuke gets re-inserted in Nol's life - the hospital after the masquerade, Nol coming to work for the week, the entirety of the black and white formal - that's when we start to see all the cracks forming and watch Kousuke slowly start to lose that control and spiral. Nol coming to work was the real curveball for him. Not for one minute did Kousuke expect Nol to take work seriously, but worse, he never anticipated that Nol would be so good at it or that his people skills would illuminate a jarring truth that Kousuke had blinded himself to. From that very moment, Kousuke enters a grappling battle to maintain his role. It's not enough to be the heir - it's about impressing Rand, it's about earning some transactional love, it's about fulfilling a duty that he takes too seriously, it's about ensuring that he is not lost. I think to Kousuke you are in one of two places: either the light or the shadow, and you cannot share them. If Nol is in the light, that relegates Kousuke to the shadows, so compelled by fear, he starts on his quest to sabotage Nol, so that his own weaknesses are not illuminated by the points where Nol shines.

Aaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!! I really do have SO MANY thoughts and feelings these days about Kousuke and especially Kousuke and Nol, and the ways they are impacted by their families, the ways their circumstances pit them against each other. Kousuke has become a character I WANT to find his way, because I WANT him to be freed from the effects of his family and especially free of their control. I think your third point is SO VERY IMPORTANT because WHO is Kousuke outside of all of this? Who is he outside of Hirahara Heir, outside of besting Nol? He definitely knows there is something hollow and empty inside him - he wouldn't have to convince himself that he wants this career, that he wants to move to Japan, that he wants to do this if that wasn't true. He's so afraid that there is nothing more to him than the husk of a boy who is so desperate for his father's love, who tore others down for something that he ultimately never received, and frankly I cannot blame him for wanting to hide that and avoid facing it lol but I DO want to see him face that. I want to see what kind of person he decides to be outside of everything if he gets that chance. I say "gets that chance" but it's definitely more that he needs to actively come to that conclusion, but it's hard to imagine at this point what it will take for him to get there.

I don't think there's a lot that a conversation with Rand can do - though I do think that's highly necessary, if only to put everything in the open. I would love for Kousuke to get the chance to be honest with Rand, and not while being drunk leaving a voicemail or anything, but that's a big, big step. It goes against everything he's worked towards, goes against the very things that drive that fear. But I want to see him reach that point where he can tell Rand pointblank the ways he failed him, the way everything he ever did was because he just wanted that love and look at him, look at how he turned out! aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!

I'm also inclined to believe the same as you re: Nol. I know Nol made it sound like he's absolutely done with Kousuke - and I certainly don't think he'll be welcoming him with open arms any time soon lol - but I think much like us as readers, much as characters like Hansuke and Yujing, I think Nol wants to see Kousuke break himself free. Let go of Rand, escape the sordid security blanket that is his relationship with Yui, and find himself. Become his OWN person. I think Nol will be more receptive to Kousuke when he can finally do that. Because again, as established, so much of Kousuke's personality thus far is just being better than Nol, is just trying to earn Rand's affection. But what does he do for himself? WHO is he? I think that's what Nol is waiting for and I don't think we'll see any kind of amicable relationship until that comes.

AAAHHHHHHHH this is so long lmao but MAN I have so many thoughts and feelings about this and I LOVE getting to talk to people about Kousuke when they can see these aspects of him. In an intriguing way, both Nol and Kousuke are driven by fear, right? Nol lives in fear of himself, of whatever guilt it is he carries. He carries this fear that he is a harbringer of doom and harm, that association with him will only get people hurt, that getting too close and caring too much is damning people, so he spent his life wearing a mask, trying to keep others at bay, trying to coast by and hope maybe, MAYBE he could absolve himself of whatever that guilt is by helping others. And when he got too close, when he started to care too much, he ran away, he lashed out, he took up a new facade. He's denied himself anything he wants or anything that brings him comfort out of fear. But where Nol's fear is internal, Kousuke's is so completely external. But at the end of the day, they are both driven by fear. Nol, I hope, will come to terms with the reality that he DOES have safe spaces. Nana loves him and wants to help him, wants him to live, wants him to find enjoyment. Shinae has proven what a caring friend she is, that even after the way he tried to ghost her and the guys, she still keeps coming back. But Kousuke doesn't quite have that support system Nol does. Or, rather, let me take that back. He does, he's just not aware of it and can't see it for that. He's so blinded by what he's lacking in a parental way that he can't see that Hansuke is the one person in the world who absolutely 100% has his back, and I think in time, depending on the choices he makes, he could find that in Yujing and Meg, both. (I think there is SO MUCH room for Meg and Kousuke to eventually be friends with a similar dynamic to him and Shinae - where she is no longer so besotted or obsessive and she can call him out when he's being y'know, Kousuke, where he can develop respect for her as a person. I want it SO badly lmao I want SO BADLY for him to come around on her!)

Basically a very important thing I think is: neither Nol nor Kousuke have that family relationship with their parents. Nol lost the one parent who ever gave him warmth and comfort, and I don't think Yui sees Kousuke as a son so much as an extension of himself. I think found family is the way to go for them. Nol has it, if he's willing to let them be that, if he can swallow his fear and let them be there for him. I think Kousuke could have it, too, if he, too, is able to let go of his fear. AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I told you, just nonstop FEELINGS over here lmao thank you for always indulging me and my longwinded responses ;~; I just get SO EXCITED to talk about this, and especially to have these conversations who think so similarly about Kousuke and don't immediately go "throw him away he's irredeemable trash" lajfkafjkafjkaf lmao like fine for people who have those opinions but I just wanna dig into why these characters do the messy shit they do LMAO

[outofcontextoverwatch]

[space-blue]

Maliketh smol-ear appreciation fic when??

(I saw the bare model LET ME SCRATCH BEHIND HIS LITTLE EARS P L E A S E-)

FUCK I KNOW!!!

He's got these itty-bitty round ears hidden behind his helmet and mane and I just—

I tried to include some ear rubbing in the fic, but not enough tbh. It ended up being more plot heavy than true self indulgence. Not nearly enough lol

I have to say... If you'll let me segway into this... (you have no choice hehehe) The more time passes, the more I think about it, the more I tend to believe that "beast", which is Maliketh's designation, is probably quite different from "wolf".

In early fandom days I've been told multiple time that "Maliketh is a wolf like Blaidd", but there is no evidence of this in the text. We don't even know if the Red Wolf of Radagon was a pet, or a shadow, so there's no way to claim "shadowbound beasts are wolves" it's simply not accurate.

Maliketh bears no great resemblance to Blaidd, a large humanoid with a wolf's head, and even fewer with the Red Wolf.

His moves are quite feline, his armour has a great white mane, and his arms are long and spindly. He also has a bearded chin. Do you know who he looks like?

Yep, Serosh, the "Beast Regent". Serosh is clearly supposed to be a lion, but the mane? The arms? The bearded chin?

Let me smack more parallels :

So although they clearly aren't the exact same type of beast, if only because of the wideness of their head, Mal having a far more canine, narrow snoot, there's clearly nothing stopping him from being closely related, far more than Blaidd at any rate. Frontal views are where things get really different.

BUT. Maliketh is "Marika's half brother" So like... What if Marika's mom banged Serosh??? YOU KNOW, like a woman of taste would?? In all seriousness, there's more similarity in their armours... Made a little collage for you :

We also know this :

Beastclaw Greathammer Greathammer with a striking end modelled to resemble five beastly claws. The black nails protruding from golden fur are said to represent Serosh, Lord of Beasts, who went on to become King Godfrey's Regent.

And yet Maliketh is called "Maliketh the Black Blade, the black beast of Destined Death."

And of course Gurranq has this lore to him :

Long ago, Gurranq was a beast of such terrifying ferocity that his former name meant "Death of the Demigods."

And Serosh isn't just some tool either! We know this :

The beast depicted is Serosh, aged counselor who guides the golden lineage.

So Serosh is clearly respected for his wisdom, not just as a prop to reign in Godfrey. It's possible he's been around since before the Golden Order, already respected when it was established. He's lord of beasts, and it's possible beasts come in many flavours.

Whatever the FUCK this stringy as hell flavour is supposed to be lmao

Possibility that Serosh and Maliketh are related? That Marika's mom was a furry? Given Maliketh's conformation, he's humanoid from his wrists down to his hips. Head, legs, and hands are all far more beast like and all reminiscent of (what we see) of Serosh, far more than Blaidd, who is basically a big dude with a wolf head.

So I have this absolutely baseless headcanon that Marika came in with her step-bro, Maliketh, a mix of Numen and Beast, and the two fingers made him the first "shadow". Whether they put him under influence or not remains to be seen... But they must have liked the concept/whatever they were gaining from this new shadow, and went ahead and created Blaidd. He was after all "gifted" to Ranni, to become "like a brother". Feels a lot like a copy pasta of the first Shadow, doesn't it?

And maybe whatever means they had of making him could not equal Maliketh. Maybe they didn't want beast blood in him, so they went ahead and spliced wolf and man together, and embedded the "shadow failsafe" Iji tells us about into his very being, unbeknownst to him or Ranni :

The Two Fingers gave Blaidd to Lady Ranni, as a faithful follower. Her very shadow, incapable of treachery. But if Lady Ranni, as an Empyrean, resists being an instrument of the Two Fingers, the shadow will go mad, transforming from a follower into a horrid curse. But such is his destiny. In such matters, Blaidd's own thoughts hold no weight. It pains me so, but he must be neutralised. For Lady Ranni's sake.

This seems to be because the Two Fingers are entirely behind Blaidd's creation, as far as we know. I wonder what freedom Maliketh has, in comparison.

WOW anyway, that's not what you came here for anon, and I'm sorry. But YES. 100% I think Maliketh has thick fluffy round ears, thick like a wolf's or a lion, and no matter his DNA make-up, I bet he purrs like a damn locomotive when you scratch him behind them. Given his size, they're probably as large as your whole hand. That's what's cool with the stringy giant pubber, just more to love all around.

[theyreonlynoodlesmike]

can u write some random headcannons u have for tommy??? i am LIVING for the way you describe tommy in general cuz it’s so accurate??? anyway i hope ur feeling better !

Alright these are all the random little headcanons I have about Tommy :)))

Tommy Slater Random Headcanons

Warnings: cute shit, we lovin' Tommy Slater in this house, headcanons about Tommy's life, mentions of stress/dealing with stress and perfectionism, mentions strict parents, mentions of loneliness and fomo

Tommy Slater probably has at least one sibling and is the oldest- it's why he's so good with the kids at Camp Nightwing and why he understands where Cindy is coming from when it comes to Ziggy. I totally hc him as coming from a big family with probably at least one little little sibling that he used to babysit after school

Tommy is sort of the golden boy of Shadyside- he wasn't head of the football team or the class president but instead he was just that one guy who was really popular just because he was so,,,, nice???? Even if he was never declared captain of the baseball team, he was probably looked at as that- also, he's definitely the pitcher of Shadysides team and I feel like if the curse didn't exist having a player like Tommy would've given Sunnyvale a run for their money

Tommy was technically a jock, but he floated between cliques - had friends from every friend group but hung out with people his parents Approved™ of as his main friend group

His parents are probably super strict- was constantly being pushed to do well in school, get a job, do well with sports, take care of his siblings, etc so he really just needs a nap and probably has some issues with perfectionism

Has never been to Maine and totally bought that sweatshirt from a thrift store- probably has a thrifting addiction to cope with stress

He will cut off all the sleeves off his shirts if left alone for too long - Cindy is about 65% or more of his impulse control

Probably wasn't allowed to go out during week-days due to all his Responsibilities™ and could only really hang out with people he knew from sports or those he had study-groups with- ends up making him have a lot of friends but makes him feel like he's not close with any of them

Also probably wasn't allowed to date during highschool or could only date people his parents Approved™ of

He liked Cindy because she works just as hard as him (if not harder) and he doesn't have to be in control or feel like he has to do everything when he's around her- he gets to be the more laid-back one and feels like he can finally have someone who will help him- also, he's used to Cindy's "we have to do this, this, and this" sort of attitude because he grew up with it but the key is the "we" and that Cindy is doing those things with him

Tommy definitely goes to an in-state school for that in-state tuition and had most of it covered by scholarships- definitely has an on-campus job to cover the rest

Is constantly doing something and needs someone to tell him to take a nap tbh speaking of which he's literally the type to be able to sleep anywhere

Joined a frat as a legacy but he's literally only there because his dad expected him to

Waited until he was legal to have his first drink- quickly finds out he's a total lightweight!! Probably has never smoked before

His love language is acts of service and physical touch :)) he just wants to hold his partners hand or carry their books or just whatever they need :)) he just wants to be loved but he'd also like someone that would do acts of service back for him

He used to bite his nails but he got himself out of the habit

He is the friend all his friends got compared to by their parents lmao rip

Is literally down to do anything with his friends now that he's older because he has major fomo - Alice could suggest to check out a trash bin and he'd just be like "okay"

Tommy low-key wants to move somewhere near the ocean- a house in a coast-side town is his dream and he kind of dreams of going to Maine even though he's never been

[lasquadrasfuckhouse]

Oohh I loved ur gender hcs!! Mine are kinda similar:

Risotto: Non-binary babe with the big bust here, uses he/they. Never brings it up so no one knows until he marches down the stairs in a skirt and big stompy heels instead of his pants one day.

Prosciutto: Trans man! I think it was over on tenthgrove I saw it, but the hc of him being trans early in his life, and using his resources to transition before he joined Passione really stuck with me

Sorbet: He gives me agender vibes, for some reason. He seems like the type to say "having a gender? In this economy?" I also feel like he doesn't really care about pronouns, whichever ones people apply to him he'll roll with.

Gelato: Agender, but in an entirely opposite flavour. This is the man who lives by the code "Be gay, do crime" do u really think he's gonna just Have a gender??? People tend to assume he's genderfluid, but he's just spontaneous and likes confusing people. Just about any pronouns go with this human tornado

Pesci: b..baby gay. I hc that Pesci didn't really think about gender stuff bc Prosciutto never pressured him, so he just didn't have a reason to! Then he sees Sorbet and Gelato painting nails and goes 'hm.' And melone puts makeup on his face for the first time and he goes '!!!!' Upside? He's now thinking about it. Downside? He has No Clue what he's doing pls help how do gender- he/him(for now???)

Melone: I see him and I instantly think genderfluid. Who the fucks knows what the gender du jour is, he certainly doesn't! Rolls out of bed and doesn't even think about it until he gets asked by someone trying to be polite and his brain short circuits for a hot sec while he figured out an answer

Ghiaccio: Trans man trans man trans man- ahem. I have a small backstory regarding him but maybe another time. Bring up his height and he will freeze your kneecaps, and if u see him wearing a dress no u don't. Will start preening like a peacock if u compliment him on it tho. He/him

Illuso: Another non-binary babe, but the kind that makes sure their hair is Always poppin. They/he. Maggi once made a joke about Lulu's pronouns being hee/hee and got trapped in the Mirror realm until he apologized

Formaggio: okay so this may be controversial, but I hc Maggi as cis *but* that stops him from absolutely nothing, he once got into a Disney dress on a drunk dare but got stuck once it was on and was too sloshed to think about using his stand. He/him

-✨ anon

THESE ARE ALL GOLDEN

sorbet's is so spot on for me im losing my mind. tbh im also thinking about genderfluid melone now and that just makes..... so much sense. melone and binary gender just do not mix. i want u to kno i was telling my roommate about this and they said 'if asked what his gender is he'd be like 'whatever u want it to be honey ;)'' and that's just TOO REAL

it's ok i also hc formaggio as the token cis FJFKDNFJGJF but he's definitely one of those cis dudes who's like, extremely macho man supportive of his trans friends and DEFINITELY unashamed of stuff like wearing dresses, he's like a frat boy being like 'no dude we can't let toxic masculinity take over our brohood bro that's not punk'

ALSO DROP THE GHIACCIO HEADCANON STORY I WANTS IT

[fatalistyc]

//No but listen, I was checking the concept art for Kronika the other day (tbh... the discarded ideas are much morr interesting than the final result but I can understand why they didn't pick those). And Idk if you know but I like making redesigns sometimes and for the longest time I've been thinking of doing one for Kronika bc why not?

(For those who haven't seen it this is her concept art)

I think Kronika's design in the game is quite underwhelming (same thing happens to me with Kitana honestly), and part of her moveset is a bit meh so my idea is giving her a different kind of design for a future project. Idk why but i love the idea of her using a mask that doesn't completely covers her face, just her mouth is visible. When you look at her she gives this inhuman kind of vibe but the voice could be the same. The scheme color could be the same too because I think the gold/silver/white scheme relates very well with her level as a deity (she's a Titan, literally in a higher position than the Elder Gods but a lower level to the One Being).

I noticed that on her chest there is a symbol reminiscing an hourglass but is very imperceptible if you don't pay attention to it. Honestly, adding a literal clock but not your typical clock. I mean, a very detailed clock that goes "tick tock" but is not like the sound is not annoying.

(I know this is an astrolabe but shhh)

For the crown I think something more "spikey" but without giving away the holy image that she has could be a good choice. However I was thinking of something similar to what Cetrion has but different, much more detailed too (like a star with a few golden halos to mark her status). Now for the actual crown that everyone uses in the story mode, I would turn it into a tiara, maybe similar to the original one but when she uses it, it turns into something much more beautiful and detailed.

For her shoulders I was thinking of this ornamental shoulder pads with diamonds or crystals or something like that, I also thought of snakes since the symbolism for them is the eternity and knowledge... but that would kind of give a different kind of vibe to the one I want.

Also another thing, I think those nail armor or idk how they are called but are those long metallic things for the nails would go well, I think? And instrad of just using... whatever she uses when she attacks, I've been thinking of attacks based on threads like controlling her enemies like marionettes instead of switching for a random character (a reference to the Moiras from the greek mythology maybe?)

And last thing is that when you get to kill her, her mask cracks open and reveals her face and starts falling apart or something. When I have more time I'll try to do a aketch or something.

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

Iirc don't the pt kinda drift apart in between p5 and scramble? Like not like they all move away or anything but I recall hearing that the pt haven't chatted w each other until joker came back (also the royal ending, I recall that rubbed some the wrong way because they weren't as close of a group in that ending)

Not fast enough! Needs to be faster!

Jk. Tbh........sigh. Oh hey another novel of text here you go you know the drill:

P4A I'd have to replay, I know it's only been 2 months since P4 (P5 it's been 4 months, one is golden week the other is summer vaycay). I only remember the IT talking about how much they miss seeing Yu (I know at least Teddie has called Yu prior to arriving). And iirc they mentioned golden week in the True ending (plus they meet up again that summer vacay in Golden epilogue to P4D), but it def seems like they communicate a biiiiit more often to organize these events (P5 it seems it was right before summer vacay they were like "oh!"). But even so, 4ish months isn't TOO bad. But a bit odd for a group that is supposedly supposed to rival the IT in ~friendship~ (hell SEES seems to have a decent interaction rate and those guys never felt like the closest, and def weren't for the majority of their game, and one went off on an adventure).

"Sigh, ok why are you bringing up P4?" Because....after they meet up...... none of that mattered. They act as close as the P4 cast did despite less communication. Which is fine, they were probs trying to go for "no matter how long it's been we can easily go back into the swing of things!" (and to do hand wavey exposition with the excuse for us under the guise of them not having talked in awhile, which isn't bad! And I don't think P5S didn't execute that fine, it was fine enough....you don't know what am I talking about? Oh in dungeon 1 Anne's like "Oh yeah I coincidentally invited! I guess I'll take up that offer then!" which tbh.....we still could've had if she was still talking others with someone else being like "hey Anne isn't that the same event you were invited to?" but we get to the same spot it's whatever. or the whole reintroduction of the group with the "where are we know stories". Anyway it's only minor but I'm sure that was a reason for a story point or two).

And like....that's fine.... Tho I'd feel like that "getting back into the swing of things" message fits more with people who haven't seen each other for years. Like hypothetically the....(oh dear "i" and "t" are biting me in the butt) "Stephen Kings IT" group (phew nailed it). At least that's one of the more recent ones I can think of (you can argue if they did well or not but the idea of time passage is there). It's more for a big reunion type thing. Tho sometimes the drama is there that you have changed a lot....sometimes, but even then.

BUT if that's the case.....then it kinda falls flat on itself since.....nothing really changes. And at that point, why not just make it "yeah we've kept in touch so that's how we are still close as we are" cause the fact they haven't talked doesn't seem to interfere at all in the plot in a big way beyond the "where are we know introductions" (which tbh PQ2 handled reintroduction just fine they could've gone that route).

Tldr; the whole "we haven't really talked in 4 months" is pointless and nothing interesting is done with it.

No I want them to be apart for 5 years.+. They've all stopped talking about 3-4 years ago (tech savy Futaba was the last one to keep attempting but even she could handle it). Suddenly something tragic happens! Most likely a death of either Sojiro, Yusuke, Futaba (old age, accident/poor management of health, suicide/murder being the most likely causes) seem like the most likely to happen. If they wanted to really shock the audience and add mystery then Anne w/ suicide (cause like.....WHY would she do that? she's the biggest one against it! The one with trauma relating to such an act! Perhaps she was silenced? yadda you know mystery). "But silly, I thought since you hate Makoto you'd kill her off" I'm just going with what I think is most likely to happen from Atlus *through gritted teeth* Unless they wanna surprise me, I wouldn't be opposed to Makoto. :) (they won't surprise me. P5 is ironically lacking in surprise for me)

They get together and they realize how much they've grown, grown apart, and are different from before. Some to all have families. They are not the PT we once knew. And now they must either put aside their new found beliefs and put on the mask once again to-....do something. *hand waves* But now we get clashing of beliefs and thought! ~uwu~ hmmmm that little emotacon didn't really capture my ~~ wavy arms funny face I was going for, but alas we must continue.

Now we have a story were they can either overcome adversity or they can crash and burn! I'm down for both! Sadly Atlus will make it so that neither happen cause they don't want any good drama in P5 *sobs*.

"But Silly you wouldn't want this on your fav P4 team would you?" Ha! Actually, thinking about this reminded me of two sequel P4 (SouNao) fanfics I remember reading. We had no spinoff sequels yet so this was the best way to get it. Five Years Later and Fate or Fortune were the names. FYL is more what I'm thinking of with the whole ensemble cast (but FoF deserves a special mention for it's drama). I should probs re-read them, see how they hold up.

But yeah I'm always down for good drama, but yeah I couldn't take P5S' group anymore. I'm like "god I wish you could just disband" which was a first, but a disbandment could lead to a good soft reboot in the team and lead to some good drama so it's not wholly a bad thing!

Tldr; again. P5S "drifting apart" doesn't really amount to much, I want something more drastic because I think that drama would be good for the team. Esp since it'd serve as a soft reboot and I don't like the direction the team is going now.

[tamiddyinyourcity]

Alright, some more thoughts:

I miss boujie restaurants. Bread that exists, for no reason. Slightly in over their head waiters. Baby sized food portions that costs more than the utilities of 5 millenials sharing a house together with hella nonstop water dripping. Being fucking glad I don't pay the bill. Beautiful, man.

My ass finally is at the level that it bounces when I jump in jeans. Hell yes. Goddamn, love life so damn much. (But to be fair, these are the loosest pair of jeans I actually own. Still. Rarely does that in sweats either way!)

The family of my ex was blessed with jawlines and nice eyes, the fuck. It's, DAAAAAMN.

Cold.

I think today was 10x funnier to me due to the extreme nonchalant reaction alone. Or the bewilderment. (Mutual bewilderment; me doing my usual golden retriver-like "OHMYGODITSAPERSON" inner reaction upon seeing someone I recognize from online, and their mildly scared but chill "isnt that the psycho chick?...... yeaaaaaaaaah.... lets wave and see if she bites people". And the casual and mildly heartless, "Says nah." Respect, tbh. Could've been a lecture, or an "I know what you did, and I'm calling the police", or something. So hey.

I think I've only talked to Francis once, and that was the "do u happen to know maxwell" incident. I think he didn't respond, out of bro code, and not gonna lie, i do often respect the ones that go "if ur not cool with family then its a no" more than the ones who would befriend the enemy of someone that they know. (Who wants friends that befriend their rivals? Excluding the Azalea situation, since she should've not been a shady hoe in the first place, then boom! No problems!)

Also, I dig people who still respect the crazies. I'm both people, and the crazies. Like that time a pregnant coworker at my old job at a boutique was like "some crazy fuckin asshole was being weird and i told him to leave n he trashed the whole store?????", and me, knowing that turning away mentally unstable people at vulnerable times for them leads to it worsening, greeted the guy like any other customer when he seemed to nervously put around the store. Long story short, he tipped me 50 cents, then never came back.... Hope he's okay, tbh.

Aghhh, I just remembered I used to interview and hang with homeless people before I had met my ex! I forgot that part of myself.

It got harder to, when they closed down the area I knew all of my homies would be at.

I hope NinjaCat is okay.

I don't really wonder how Unicorn or Slade are doing, they're iffy about me. Unicorn has a baby, though, so thats dope. And Rain is a bitch, so fuck her and her 2 dollar acid. (Cool girl, bad attitude.)

Hmm.... Just wondering the type of life I want when I leave quarantine.

I want more cool friendships, yknow?

Felt good meeting my ex's friends in different cities, crashing in cars, that good shit. I miss actually going to parties and feeling a warm energy of people, or getting to know other people.

I wanna go to the beach more often, feel the sand change from hot to chilly and melt under my toes with ease as the water crashes, and the light touches the horizon.

I miss walking around the huge ass lake in my city, being able to waltz outside in a tight bodysuit and a flowy skirt with my Elton John glasses on, hopping on a car or a bus, being able to flirt or text whoever I want with ease. (Ah, that open relationship was liiit, until shit got fucked up, ouch.)

Even leaving the house today was nice, despite being coughed on by three stupid motherfuckers.

Sun on my skiiiiin, just vibing.

I miss getting pedicures, with nail polish the color of Starburst. (And I miss the men that kissed my feet, and how they acted before I was nothing to them like before.)

I miss destroying men emotionally that deserved it. (Like Lee, who thought me being 18 meant I was gonna be head over heels for him... He's 30 and broke, whats impressive?)

I miss crowds of people and parades, and fine dining, or even just average diner dining.

Damn, man.

Still fucking ridiculous that right as I almost came to terms with the ending before, and was ready to just start traveling and wearing sundresses to grip life by the horns.... eugh.

But whatever. My room is organized and I'm by myself, in peace, just taking it day by day. That's alright with me.