#who knows how to process emotions healthily if it's the only thing i do damnit.
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Nothing quite prepared me for how humbling playing any part in raising a teenager is
#i was in no way ready for how difficult this is no matter how patient you are#like I've worked customer service in complaints#I've worked with dementia patients#some of my closest relatives are the most unreasonable adults you'll ever meet#i thought nothing could fase me. i love her and i know how unfair the alternative is so I've got the drive to put up with this#and i do! don't get me wrong. my greatest fear was not being able to control my temper and that's no issue. i love her too much not to#but dear god.#i wasnt quite expecting how mean teenagers can be! and it comes out of nowhere so you're completely unprepared lol#like I've got a tough skin. i don't get upset by shit ppl say to me. but it is kinda hurtful hearing it from someone who doesnt mean it??#i know she doesnt mean it. i know she's still the baby that's returned my love unconditionally since day 1#and yet!!!! one minute she's all affectionate and loving and then she just drops these bombs cause out of the blue her moods changed#and I'm just left blinking like. OK then. and I'm the responsible adult in the situation so I've gotta be like#'come on that's not a fair thing to say to someone is it. you don't feel great. that's OK! but you can't take that out on everyone else'#how can you use that energy in a way that's not unfair to everyone around you#and you can't let yourself show that yeah you're kinda upset. because to do that a) isn't fair and b) lets them smell blood#teenagers man#anyway turns out this is the challenge of all time. i will do what i can to contribute towards her being a reasonable adult#who knows how to process emotions healthily if it's the only thing i do damnit.#even if it's a uphill battle while you're bleeding. but shit. this is difficult.#that spelling of faze lol. I'm not going back to change it.
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