#why are chad faces so weird to draw lol

[mellioops]

*sighs* my sister asked me to draw surfer tango doing the chad face so here’s a doodle lol

[josie-wales]

As many of you may recall, I totally suck tail at finishing reading challenges. I have gone bust on every one I’ve attempted the past couple of years.

I’ve fallen behind on my Goodreads challenge for 2018 by 23 books thus far! LOL! I have to laugh to keep from crying!

At least I have a good excuse for failing miserably at the challenges for which I did sign up this year – I’ve been through a LOT of shitty – and amazing – changes lately.

Anyhow, I’m giving POPSUGAR’s 2019 Reading Challenge another shot – I adore the categories!

This coming year, I’ve decided that instead of simply cramming books onto a list to fill category requirements, I’m picking books based on what I want to read anyway.

This beyond brilliant technique will undoubtedly make it easier for me to at least partially complete 2019’s challenge!

A book becoming a movie in 2019…I was so happy when I stumbled across the fact that Nicola Yoon’s The Sun is Also a Star will be adapted for the big screen, releasing May 17, 2019.

I’ve loved this book since simply laying eyes on its cover. From what I’ve heard and read, I shall not be disappointed.

A book that makes me nostalgic…as a child I absolutely adored Laura Ingalls Wilder’s autobiographical Little House series.

I began rereading the books this year and up next is number four in the series, On the Banks of Plum Creek.

I’m thrilled to have begun rereading the Little House books – they truly transport me back into the throes of reading in my grade school’s library.

A book written by a musician…the Red Hot Chili Peppers are among my favorite bands; they’re seemingly ageless – the band members themselves as well as their songs.

As I’ve followed his band since at least middle school, I’ve wanted to read lead singer Anthony Kiedis’ memoir Scar Tissue ever since I stumbled across it a few years ago.

A book I think should be turned into a movie…This is a really tough one for me – I’m such a weirdo about books becoming movies so close to books’ original release dates.

OK, I’ve made an amazing – in my own mind – decision – the graphic novel series, Saga by Brian K. Vaughan is genius and should definitely be adapted into either a TV miniseries or movie.

Currently, I’m poised to read Vol. 7; however, I plan to read Vol. 8  and Vol. 9 as well in 2019. I’ve got to catch up with this amazing series!

A book with at least one million ratings on Goodreads…I had to do some painstaking research – not really – into locating a book fitting this category.

As expected, classics and Harry Potter are the highest rated books on Goodreads. With over two million ratings, George Orwell’s 1984 is my choice!

A book with a plant in the title or on the cover…At first, I thought of doing – attempting – a reread of Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s novel, One Hundred Years of Solitude, but, since I wasn’t too fond of the book the first time around, I’ve decided to take a different route with this category.

I’ve chosen a book that has been withering away on my TBR list for years, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith.

A reread of a favorite book…John Steinbeck’s Of Mice and Men has been special to me since reading it in middle school.

I’ve wanted to reread Steinbeck’s tale for a long time – I want to revisit the feelings the book elicited when I first read it.

A book about a hobby…As a perennial book lover, I was so excited to find out that there are seriously books ABOUT books out there!

Hence my choice to read Book Girl by Sarah Clarkson. Why haven’t I written a book about reading?!

A book I meant to read in 2018…Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell is the top book I really wanted to read this year; however, it wasn’t in the cards for 2018.

A book with “pop, “sugar,” or “challenge��� in the title…I’m really looking forward to reading the first installment of the Dork Diaries series by Rachel Renee Russell – I have put it on library hold seemingly 5000 times!

So, I’ve decided to read the first two Dork Diaries tales and then read book three,Tales from a Not-So-Talented Pop Star!

A book with an item of clothing or accessory on the cover…The Secret Lives of Dresses by Erin McKean was gifted to me by a blog swap buddy a couple of years ago and now I have a reason to read it! LOL!

I’ve been curious about it since receiving it and am excited to finally dive between its covers.

A book inspired by mythology, legend, or folklore…I will finally be delving into the first in Rick Riordan’s Percy Jackson series, The Lightning Thief, in 2019!

In the midst of reading two of Riordan’s other series, the Kane Chronicles and Magnus Chase, I’m looking forward to meeting another of the epic writer’s characters.

A book published posthumously…As much as I loved Michael Crichton’s Jurassic Park, it’s only natural that I should be interested in the author’s posthumously published Dragon Teeth!

What I find so interesting about Dragon Teeth is the fact that it’s not part of the Jurassic Park series. Although its subject matter appears to regard dinosaurs as well, I’m looking forward to a different take on the topic.

A book I’ve seen someone reading on TV or in a movie…Another tough category for me, I decided to go the easy route and choose a popular book discussed on the PBS limited series, The Great American Read!

I’ve never watched The Gilmore Girls, so I felt weird picking a book from Rory’s list. However, I do plan to undertake the reading challenge based on the show, so stay tuned!

Anyhow, I’ve chosen Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White.

Honestly, I can’t remember if I’ve ever read White’s children’s classic! I know the basics of the story, but will be glad to get the full experience of the emotional tale.

A retelling of a classic…I am so damn silly! I totally thought Hunted by Meagan Spooner is a retelling of Snow White! I just discovered that the book is, in fact, a twist on aanother tale as old as time, Beauty and the Beast, making me even more excited to devour it!

While I love a good retelling, especially of a fairy tale, I have never read one based on Beauty and the Beast, so this should be entertaining and different at the very least!

A book with a question in the title…I reread Caroline B. Cooney’s The Face on the Milk Carton this year and imagine my surprise and delight when I found that its sequel,Whatever Happened to Janie?, fits right into this challenge!

A book set on a college or university campus…I was astonished to find that I already want to read a college campus-based book, The Art of Fielding by Chad Harbach.

Initially attracted by its cover and title, I’ve wanted to read The Art of Fielding for quite a while!

A book about someone with a superpower…G. Willow Wilson quickly became a favorite author when I was first introduced to her amazing Ms. Marvel series.

I’m thrilled about this category and have elected to read Wilson’s Ms. Marvel, Vol. 5: Super Famous!

A book told from multiple character POVs…I’ve never before been compelled to read Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood by Rebecca Wells…until tonight, November 20.

I’m surprisingly excited about reading Wells’ novel, especially after seeing the cute cover – of course!

A book set in space…Yay for this category! I’ve been about to explode to read Arthur C. Clarke’s sci-fi wonder, 3001: The Final Odyssey.

I loved the first three books in Clarke’s series and can’t wait to find out how it ends!

A book by two female authors…I received a gorgeous copy of These Broken Stars by Amie Kaufman and Meagan Spooner via a now-forgotten-which bookish surprise box.

I’ve read Amie Kaufman’s writing with Jay Kristoff; however, have never read the work that is solely hers…I must do that.

A book with a title that contains “salty,” “sweet,” “bitter,” or “spicy”…I’m mixing it up just a tad for this category – by dropping the ‘y’ in “salty”!

So, I’m going for Salt to the Sea by Ruta Sepetys, which has also been on my TBR list for ages.

A book set in Scandinavia…this pick seems sort of obvious – at least to me! Anyway, I’ve chosen to read The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson.

Yet another book already on my TBR list and that I own [YAY], I’ve been really curious about it for a long time.

A book that takes place in a single day…I have only read J.D. Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye, but, I’ve been curious for a while about the author’s Franny & Zooey.

Clocking in at just over 200 pages, maybe this one-day tale will take a single day to read!

A debut novel…Kara McDowell is the 2019 debut author I plan to read, as her first release, Just For Clicks, looks like it has grand potential to be adorable!

I love that the book gives credence to the wonderful world of blogging, drawing me in even further!

A book published in 2019…Angie Thomas has very quickly become one of my favorite authors.

Her debut novel, the incredibly powerful The Hate U Give resonates with my heart and soul very much, to my initial surprise.

I’ve chosen the sure-to-be-amazing-as-well On the Come Up, also by Thomas to fill this category. On the Come Up releases February 5, 2019.

A book featuring an extinct or imaginary creature…While I believe I’d call the serpent Apophis mythological rather than totally imaginary, I’m still going with – another Rick Riordan book – The Serpent’s Shadow, the finale to the Kane Chronicles trilogy.

A book recommended by a celebrity I admire…At first, I was stumped by this category…there honestly aren’t many celebrities I admire anymore and I just don’t keep up with pop culture the way I did in the past.

Luckily, I found a recommendation by Prince Harry’s duchess, Meghan Markle!

Markle suggests reading The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery. I’ve wanted to read this book for ages, and finally I don’t have an excuse not to do so!

A book with “love” in the title…I am so stoked to read From Twinkle with, Love by Sandhya Menon!

I adored When Dimple Met Rishi, so my expectations are pretty high for this one!

A book featuring an amateur detective…it’s no secret that I’m still in love with Carolyn Keene’s beyond classic Nancy Drew books!

Since it’s so tough to choose which of Nancy’s adventures to read, I’m just going to pull a title out of my proverbial hat! And…I’m going with…The Witch Tree Symbol!

A book about a family…I read what seemed at the time like a TON of Shakespeare throughout high school English classes.

Among my top three favorite plays by the famous writer is King Lear, which follows the tragic saga of the play’s eponymous ruler and his daughters.

I have the full-cast play on Audible and definitely plan to listen to the performance!

A book written by an author from Asia, Africa, or South America…I’ve been really curious about Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi, a Nigerian-American author, ever since its release.

This book seamlessly slides right into the challenge and is a must-read, so no-brainer here!

A book with a zodiac sign or astrology term in the title…After perusing a Goodreads list regarding this topic, I chose Maggie Stiefvater’s The Scorpio Races.

I’m really excited to have discovered this title on another challenge participant’s list. It’s really so obvious, it’s silly that I blanked on this category!

A book that includes a wedding…I’m finally at number 12 on my library’s waiting list to read Morgan Matson’s Save the Date and I couldn’t be more excited!

I have yet to read Matson’s work, so unless I get to something else by her before my official checkout date, this will [obviously] be my first!

A book by an author whose first and last names start with the same letter…Francis Scott Fitzgerald, legendary author of The Great Gatsby, is the one whose work I have chosen to be entertained by for this category.

This will be a rare reread for me, as, probably like many of you, I originally read the book as a sophomore in high school.

I vividly remember writing essay after essay about the symbolism and foreshadowing in Fitzgerald’s novel. My study of The Great Gatsby as a teen truly helped to expand my reading horizons.

A ghost story…The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson is a tale with which I am unfamiliar, but have heard of, especially whenever the movie rendition was released.

I absolutely love to scare myself – via safe methods – and I’m excited to get to this one!

A book with a two-word title…The Pearl by John Steinbeck is yet another little, yet powerful, book I was assigned to read in grade school.

At the time of my initial reading of the story, I hated every word. Here’s to hoping that I will be able to appreciate Steinbeck’s work as an adult reader!

A novel based on a true story…Who in the world would have thought Agatha Christie’s mystery classic,  Murder on the Orient Express, was literally inspired by the kidnapping of Charles Lindburgh’s infant son, of which news had broken a few years prior to Christie’s drafting of the novel?

This fact simply blows my mind! I researched a tiny bit and found that the Lindburgh kidnapping was still hot news, more than likely serving as a muse for Christie when she wrote the story

A book revolving around a puzzle or game…A book I read in probably seventh grade, once again, of course, in English class,The Most Dangerous Game by Richard Connell, is one of those tales of yore that completely sticks out in my mind.

My favorite prompt from a past POPSUGAR reading challenge…Because I love a good graphic novel, I’ve chosen to use the 2016 prompt to read one!

I’ve owned – and have been meaning to read – Monstress, Vol. 1: Awakening by Marjorie M. Liu forever, so, no more excuses!

A “cli-fi” [climate fiction] book…I honestly rolled the hell out of my eyes when I saw this category, I mean seriously. But, these are the days in which we live – LOL!

I was beyond thrilled to find that Margaret Atwood’s Oryx and Crake falls into this category. As I already have Oryx and Crake on my TBR list, I don’t have to frantically search for a filler book!

A choose-your-own-adventure book…All right – I can’t seem to find a book to fit into this category anywhere, so, stay tuned for this one!

An “own voices” book…I was so thrilled to see that Jenny Han’s To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before is an own voices book!

I’ve been dying to start Han’s trilogy, but I am determined to get to it in 2019!

Read a book during the season in which it is set…I’ve picked another Maggie Stiefvater tale for this category, Shiver, the first in Stiefvater’s Wolves of Mercy Falls series.

I’ve never read a book revolving around werewolves, so this should be a cool step in a different direction.

A LitRPG book…I really didn’t want to read Ready Player One by Ernest Cline. However, I shall bend for the category and read it!

A book with no chapters/unusual chapter headings/unconventionally numbered chapters…I am totally picking Dune by Frank Herbert for this one!

Two books sharing the same title…I find this category to be very interesting; I never would have dreamed of multiple books sharing titles – that’s something new to think about!

I have chosen to read The Lost World by Michael Crichton as well as The Lost World by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

A book that has inspired a common phrase or idiom…Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll originated the saying “mad as a hatter”, making this age-old tale, which I have never actually read, fit perfectly here.

A book set in an abbey, cloister, monastery, vicarage, or convent…Since I am not fond of reading full synopses of books, I’m not totally sure that my pick exactly fits into this category; however, the priesthood and the Vatican are involved!

The Thorn Birds by Colleen McCullough is a novel I’ve wanted to read ever since my mom recommended it to me many years ago – really excited about this one!

And there you have it, people – my proposed list for my self-induced relaxing, laid back attempt at completing POPSUGAR’s 2019 Reading Challenge!

I’m really excited about this year’s challenge categories, as well as about the books I’m seriously hoping – and wanting – to read!

Love, Maggie

Sweet Reads 2019 As many of you may recall, I totally suck tail at finishing reading challenges. I have gone bust on every one I've attempted the past couple of years.

[anothergirlrecovering]

Lynn 43

When I got there she invited me in and said how was I doing. I told her I was good and I ask our vacation was. She laughed and said it definitely wasn’t a vacation and explained that she had went up to New York to get an apartment for her daughter but that evidently this was a crazy process and they met several shady people offering apartments and it did not feel like a vacation for her. She asked how I was doing again and I said I was good, and I asked how her shoulder was because I had talk to my acupuncture about it. She asked what his opinion was and I explained how eastern medicine views frozen shoulder and said that if she wanted to give it a try at any point I would be happy to tell me the name of the person that Chad recommended and that she could get her herbs through him. She asked me if it was the same thing as dry needling which is something her physical therapist was doing which I said no not the same thing. She said that I could email the name of the lady to her and she would look into it.

She asked how my last two weeks have been and I said they have been pretty good but this last week was weird. I explained the situation with my friend and I getting into that weird sort of disagreement and how I don’t really regret sticking up for my other friend and that it was just weird and uncomfortable because I hate conflict and it just all really bothered me and now things are a little weird and I explained how I have thought about leaving the group for a bit. I then told her about how my mom and I have been texting about the place we went on vacation as kids and how she had not checked on me when I had the stomach virus. I told Lynn that I don’t know why things like this still bothered me since they are in the past. She said why does it bother me and that we could do some EMDr on it.

I took the tappers and she asked me to notice what about that memory bothers me. I said I guessed because even though logically I know she thought she was doing the best thing, there’s a part of me that still feels like I realize that shouldn’t exactly excuse it, and also because there’s some embarrassment because I remember this other dad being like hey your parents know where you are right now and I remember having to say that I didn’t now. I also noticed that I felt really sad thinking about me as a 14-year-old kid having a stomachache and being alone in a random lobby by myself checking my phone over and over and over waiting on them to answer. I also realize that it’s the same thing that happened later on in 12th grade when I had told them I was running away and I ran to my old elementary school and come myself with broken beer bottles and checked my phone over and over waiting for them to text me to check on me and then eventually several hours later when it was dark and everything was closed, I am walked home and they acted like nothing had ever happened at all and said dinner was in the fridge. I noticed that I’ve spent my whole life trying to get them to respond to me and that I don’t really know why because you would think after so many times that I would have learned to not expect something different. She asked why and I said because even with the still face experiment baby starts freaking out when her mom doesn’t give them a response, but then eventually for mom keeps doing that we know that those baby stop freaking out and trying to get a response. I don’t know why I’m still trying to get a response at this point when I obviously just get disappointed every time. My brain went through a lot of random things, and it brought up a lot of self deprecation. I ended up ack knowledge Ing that it feels like it’s a me thing and if I could be different then maybe our relationship would be different. I said I always cling to this little bit of hope them maybe things will eventually be different, to which she was like why would that be the case? I was like I don’t know maybe seeing my mom with the foster kids has made me think she’s capable of being different, and then I realized that maybe it’s because it’s easier to hang onto the hope that things will be better than it is to just except that it will never happen. She was like really? Because it sounds pretty miserable to be in a position where you always end up disappointed because you keep trying over and over knowing that you are going to get the same disappointing response. I explained that it’s similar to the eating disorder where in the moment it feels good when my mom currently isn’t doing something disappointment, or currently if I was losing weight, but that I realize in the long term losing weight would do absolutely nothing for me and repeating that same cycle of disappointment wouldn’t do anything either. She pointed out the cycle of disappointment in setting myself up over and over to be disappointed and she asked why I might be doing that. I said other than just clinging to the hope of something changing, it was insanity because it’s the same thing over and over and expecting different results. She said there’s another reason, and I said I guess habit, to which she said there’s one more and I said I didn’t know I was drawing a blank. She said there’s also the aspect of punishing yourself by putting yourself in that same painful situation over and over. She told me to notice it and I thought about how him and 12th grade my mom really did drive to the school during my school play after my best friend had texted her and said I was cutting myself. I said that while my mom didn’t exactly give this loving emotional I care about your response, she did ask why and it just feels like it was my fault because maybe that was my mom trying and maybe things would’ve been better if I had been honest but instead I had freaked out and lied and said I had only done it once and it was hormonal and it was while I was on my period and maybe if I had made more of an effort then things would be different and it feels like I sort of just missed my one and only opportunity. I also noticed that I’ve always been really afraid of emotional connection with her and I thought about how in seventh grade when my mom went back to work full-time I was really scared and I member I started crying during church and I was so scared to tell her why and I finally did say that I was scared I wouldn’t see her anymore and she kind of minimized and said it would be fine. I also noticed that it’s weird that I have so much of an issue with my mom because in 12th grade when we were fighting all the time it was just me and my dad fighting and my mom was actually the one who would defend me to my dad and tell him to stop bothering me or egging me on. I explained how sometimes I feel like maybe I am just being dramatic and crazy and maybe I’m remembering everything wrong and maybe things were better than they were, to which she was like really? Go with that. I noticed that she’s right and I’m not crazy but it still feels like it’s somehow my fault and if I could just fix myself and maybe that would intern fix our relationship. I pointed out that maybe I need to recognize that some things about certain people can’t be changed without really doing therapy or doing something specific to try to change it and she’s not even aware that she has anything to change so it’s not going to happen. She asked me what is the benefit of putting myself in that position of being disappointed over and over again and I said to pay off was that my mom’s feelings wouldn’t get hurt. She asked me if I was worth more, and pointed out that she thinks I’m worth more and that I don’t deserve to keep getting hurt over and over and that it’s a really painful place for me to be in. I said the payoff was really just that my mom’s feelings get saved, and she asked about the pay off is of my mom’s feelings being protected but now on my own. I said that I have a hard time with hurting other people’s feelings in general, and that I would rather I hurt than them hurt. She had said something at one point and I said that I think there’s a possibility my mom will change and it was clear that she disagreed and she told me to go with that and I said I think deep down part of me knows that things will never change and I will never get that emotional connection or that heart to heart and not necessarily that best friend relationship even but we will never have that close emotional relationship, and she was like Yep there’s the truth lol.

She said that when I am thinking about our relationship it is bringing up all of these self deprecating things which we could spend a lot of time looping through, but going back to her original question of why would I keep putting myself in that position of getting disappointed over and over. It brought up some of the guilt of feeling like if I were to do certain things and stick up for myself, it would mean that I would end up hurting her feelings and I don’t want to do that. Lynn pointed out that I am basically protecting her and I said yes and she asked me why am. I said that I didn’t know but that I don’t like hurting other people and then I realize that there was a lot of guilt because in high school I was there difficult child and even though they told on me for my accomplishments, I was challenging emotionally and there was a time on Mother’s Day when I was grounded and I was mad and I was being a brat and my mom started crying and it was the first time I’ve ever seen her cry and I continued to refuse to say happy Mother’s Day because I was still mad at my dad started screaming at me and saying this was my fault and to look at her crying and look at what I was doing to her, and it feels like I’m not supposed to hurt her again. She asked me what it would be like to not protect my mom’s feelings and I said that I honestly didn’t know because I can’t remember a time when I hadn’t done that. She pointed out that if I’m always doing that, part of changing that believe will be changing how I act. Lynn pointed out that it was something for me to think about because she feels like I’m at a crossroads with the Mom stuff and in knowing that I need to do things differently. I said I want to feel differently and I want to make changes but that I don’t know how. She asked what I would tell a client in that situation and I was like I don’t know I guess I would say keep doing therapy and she was like no really what would you tell your client and I was like I don’t know like sheep doing therapy. She was like I really don’t think you would say that your client but part of it is that when you start acting differently you begin to change those believes. And yes EMDR well help, but part of it is also changing what you are doing. I pointed out that I do more than I used to do in sticking up for myself, and pointed out that I had told my mom how I felt about the whole past vacation situation and that when my mom got controlling about telling me what I should or shouldn’t do regarding buying a house the other day, I told her I had to go and I hung up although yeah I probably could have exercised more self assertiveness and told her that I didn’t appreciate her trying to tell me what to do. She said to think about it and she want it, how can I change those beliefs and basically believe that I deserve more and shouldn’t be protecting my mom’s feelings over my own. She seems to think that I am staying in this cycle of being disappointed by my mom has a way of punishing myself.

She said she thinks that will be plenty to think about and she will be curious to see how things will go when I go visit my parents in two weeks. I told her I am, can we schedule the next two weeks and I headed out. She laughed and said again plenty to think about and she will be interested to hear what I come up with when I return.