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#why couldn't i have sold my damn soul and gotten the shitty computer science degree my school had??
slippery-minghus
·
15 days
Text
gods, why didn't i get a college degree in anything useful?
#i've known since the day it unceremoniously came in the mail that my degree is worth less than the paper it's printed on
#yeah i needed to college experience for social and lersonal growth
#but why couldn't i have gotten something out of it that can help me find a damn job?
#what was the fucking point of going through all that?
#(the social and personal growth obviously)
#ahgggggg
#i'm too broke and disabled to go back to school NOW
#(the way i'm coping with the anxiety of waiting to hear back about the internal job i just interviewed for
#is to have Officially Decided That I'll Be Rejected Out Of Hand. So What Do I Do Next?
#it hurts but at least i can move forward if the worst come to pass
#and it gives me something to do while i'm Waiting
#ughhhhh
#why couldn't i have sold my damn soul and gotten the shitty computer science degree my school had??
#i remember visiting a house a friend was pet-sitting for and seeing the couple's gaming setup
#and just seeing dollar signs. they both worked in computer science and made $$$
#but at the time it sounded like the worst thing in the world
#and i'd already changed my major once... loved what i was studying... and had my dad breathing down my neck about how much my education cost
#i'm so lucky i don't have debt. thanks to my grampa. but holy hell did my dad lord that inheritance over me and make me dance for it
#i don't think he ever got over grampa pulling *his* college funding bc he spent college fucking around and dropped out
#couldn't wrap his head around that the narrow thing he'd trained me to be would never follow in his 'rebelious' footsteps
#i beat myself up over A-'s there was no way i'd do anything other than take my grades seriously
#but that was the problem. i was worried about grades and what sounded bearable to learn. not what was realistic to do with it
#i wanted to get a fucking phd! with what fucking money!!!!
#of course not that i had the support or the maturity to understand what it meant to choose an education that could grant me a career
#but who can i blame if not myself?
#dad always said i had to Go To College. there was no choice in not going. but as soon as college came he shoved me out the door
#and slammed shut. how was i supposed to know what to do without him there to make me do things all of a sudden?
#that took nearly a decade to learn dammit
#personal
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