#why do i set myself unrealistic goals i know i'm not gonna be able to reach

[wehelddarkness]

x

[holy-anxiety-batman]

I really really really want to hang out with my boyfriend but I can't because im busy. I also feel that my boyfriend doesn't love me or that he's gonna leave me because im so ugly, I have no art skills, I'm too awkward, I'm really clingy, I'm so weird, I'm suicidal, I always fuck things up, I'm mentally and physically fucked up, I haven't told anyone in my family im dating him, I talk to much, im worthless, I get angry easily, I bet jealous easily, and so much more. -🍋

Okay. My normal approach to these things is to tackle mental health rationally, because I know firsthand that it’s difficult to be rational about your own mental health. So let’s go down the list.

“I also feel that my boyfriend doesn't love me or that he's gonna leave me because I’m so ugly”

While I highly doubt that you are as unattractive as you think you are, even if you’re not conventionally attractive (which I don’t know), anyone who breaks up with someone because of their physical appearance is a shallow jerk who doesn’t deserve you. If he doesn’t love you, why is he still dating you? (He loves you.)

“I have no art skills"

That’s fine!!! I’m sure you’re better than you think you are, and the best way to get better at anything is to practice.

“I'm too awkward"

Nope. Nope nope nopity nope nope. There is absolutely no such thing as ‘too awkward’. There are only people who categorize you as such because they are not advanced enough to understand you and your magnificent brain.

“I'm really clingy"

That’s okay! So am I! I enjoy physical contact with people, and in any case, I think the most important thing to do is set boundaries so that nothing goes too far. I also tend to attach myself to people I am comfortable around, and don’t leave them. In any situation when I ask them, they always say that they are happy to have me around and that they appreciate that I am comfortable with them.

“I'm so weird"

We all are!! ‘Normal’ is a social construct created to have us aim for a goal of unattainable perfection that is entirely unrealistic. I’ve found the best thing I can do for myself is accept and flaunt my weirdness, and find friends who do the same.

“I'm suicidal"

Well. That’s not okay, but as long as you know it’s not worth it, and you’re careful to not hurt yourself, there’s not much else to say. I think the thing to do, as hard as it might be, is to be open about it. The more people that know the more people there are to protect you when an urge comes over you.

“I always fuck things up"

Completely false. You have sent a polite ask, asked permission before ranting, and have generally acted quite commendably. I’m sure that if you ask anyone in your house right now what one good thing you did this week is they would be able to tell you. I think this a really healthy thing to do. It’s not selfish or conceited to seek validation.

“I'm mentally and physically fucked up”

From what I can tell, you’re handling it relatively okay. Even just reaching out to a stranger on the internet is a healthy way of coping, because it means you’re aware of the problems.

“I haven't told anyone in my family I’m dating him”

I think you should consider why you haven’t told them. And if he really makes you happy, and you won’t be in danger if you tell them, I think it’s worth having them on your side about this. It would be exponentially worse if they found out through anyone else but worthless.

“I talk too much”

Sweetheart look at the novel I’m writing you. There’s nothing wrong with expressing things through words, and unless the people around you have expressed irritation, there is no reason to believe that they don’t enjoy the way you express yourself.

"I’m worthless"

FALSEHOOD. No human is worthless, especially someone like you, who reached out and trusted a complete stranger. You are worth the world, my dear. Never believe you deserve anything less than the best.

“I get angry easily, I get jealous easily"

That’s okay! People with tempers generally get far. As long as you’re aware of these things and understand when it’s reasonable and when it’s not, this is not a problem.

“and so much more."

Hey. Listen. You are a star, illuminating some magical solar system. You provide light and joy to people around you. If you were gone, people would notice and care. Just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean they don’t love you infinitely.

All my love and admiration,

- Ari.