#why do u think that is. because y’all pushed every black person with an opinion off

[cherrysnax]

and maybe im sensitive and maybe im easily agitated and maybe im reminded how little of us it really is on this website but seeing white mfs call this place the white website without a sense of irony or shame is pissing me off

[iamnotawomanimagod]

2019 Retrospective Survey

Once upon a time, in the wayback ancient days of yesteryear, aka 2006 or so, people would fill out little self-important surveys about themselves almost every night on Myspace. These surveys were then posted to your profile via a “bulletin” and could be perused by your friends at their leisure. 

Eventually, this phenomena evolved into what we now know as “ask games” - people taking these surveys and, instead of just filling them out, reblogging them in the hopes that their followers might grow curious enough to send in some numbers.

Well, to that evolution of this tradition, I say - pah! I’ll answer all these questions and you’ll like it!!

Or you’ll skip it, which is probably the reasonable thing to do. This is mostly for me, so I have some vague record of this year to look back on, which I’ve been bad about the past several years.

1. First things first, did you have a good year?

It’s kind of tough for me to discern what is good and bad, anymore, especially when it comes to my life experiences. Things kind of just “are.” I think I had a pretty good year overall, though, if I step back and look at it, and ignore my mental health and those other niggling little details.

2. How old did you turn this year?

Twenty-eight. Getting up there. I’ve been doing some version of these surveys since I was like, fourteen. That’s fourteen years of random, unnecessary internet void-shouting.

3. Do you feel your age?

Not really. When I was younger, I definitely thought 28-year-olds always had their shit together, automatically, just because of the age. Like it feels like an age where I really should’ve outgrown a lot of things. But I haven’t yet, not at all, and I have zero interest in conventional adulthood.

Did your appearance change in anyway?

I got new glasses, because I lost my old ones in Hawaii.

Post your favorite selfie.

I rarely like selfies where I smile, so even though this one is clearly some goofy cheesin’, I still consider it kinda special.

If you traveled, where did you go?

I went to a place called Monroe, in Utah, which has some amazing hot springs. Slept overnight in a converted hippie bus. It was freezing (if you weren’t in the springs), but really fun!

I also went to Maui, Hawai’i. It was beautiful and I do see why people love it there, but it was very much so not for me. Also flying while fat fucking suuuuucks aaaaass, hugely.

Which fashion trends did you love?

Eye makeup got really fun and weird this year - I love the new shapes and crazy colors.

Here’s a decent example on Halsey. The way her top lid has a line above the lid and under the brow - I’ve never seen that before this year. Really fun and new kinda twist on makeup.

Which fashion trends did you hate?

Chunky dad shoes, the popularity of Crocs (and I fucking love Crocs, don’t get me wrong,) and other seemingly-ironic “comfortable chic” styles. It’s super cute on most skinny girls but the moment a fat girl tries to rock that style, it’s “sloppy” or “lazy.” On the other hand, it was good to see some women reject more revealing or extravagant styles in favor of being comfortable. It’s just tough for a fat woman like me to pull off.

What was your favorite article of clothing this year? Post a pic if possible?

I pretty much lived in black sweatpants and baggy t-shirts this year.

What song sums up this year for you?

“I Think I’m OKAY” by Machine Gun Kelly feat. Yungblud

What album came out and has been on heavy rotation since then?

I listened to a ton of “thank u, next” and “when we all fall asleep, where do we go?” this past year.

What was your favorite movie of the year?

I haven’t seen any movies from 2019 yet. I watched one film this year: “Slow West” - it was pretty good!

Did an actor/actress catch your attention for the first time this year?

The entire casts of Legacies and Runaways.

Favorite new TV show?

Probably Legacies! Really surprised me, but it’s a fun show!

Which new ship/fandom has taken over a lot of your time, attention, and tears?

Cheleanor stole my heart this year, from The Good Place. I, of course, spent way too much time thinking and talking about The 100. Gotta give another shoutout to Legacies and Runaways. Special nod to #deanoru and #hosie, respectively.

What food did you try for the first time?

I tried dragonfruit and papaya for the first time while in Hawai’i. It was also the first time I’d ever tried and enjoyed mango. All the other mango I’d had was never sweet enough and always reminded me a lil bit of cat pee, but a fresh tropical mango is fuckin’ heaven.

Did you make any big permanent changes this year?

Not really “permanent”, but semi-permanent - I moved out of one place and into a new one. We definitely won’t be here forever, though. Maybe a year or two.

What was one nice thing you did for someone else?

I do a lot of little nice things for my husband every day, it’s kinda tough to list them all.

What was one nice thing you did for yourself?

I reached out to an old friend that I had been fighting with and made amends, and we’re friends again.

Did you develop a new obsession?

I always move from TV show to TV show obsessively - lots have already been mentioned. I think I got more into The Try Guys this past year than I have before. I also played a lot more management sims than I ever expected to - games like Dead in Vinland, Banished, Frostpunk, Weedcraft Inc, and This War of Mine.

Did you vote?

Shoulda - didn’t.

Did you move?

Yup! Moved out of my old roommate’s house and into my own apartment.

Did you get a job?

In a sense - I drive for DoorDash. It’s definitely work, but not a conventional job.

Did you get a pet?

No. :( In fact, I kinda lost some - I loved the shit out of my roommate’s dogs, I got way too attached to them. I miss them too much.

Do you regret not doing anything?

Not really.

Do you regret doing something?

Yeah, I let a friend down in July. Wish I hadn’t done that, but. I’m not a very good friend to have, and I’m okay with that. The people who get it stick around through the tough stuff.

Have you done anything that scared you?

I always think it’s a little scary to get on a plane. That’s probably it.

Did anyone/thing make you so mad it stayed with you for days?

God, yes. Too many things. Still angry at my old roommate for being such an asshole about cleaning and for threatening to kick us out. That’s the one that happened this year, lol. But I’m still angry about things that happened years ago. I can hold a hell of a grudge.

Did you lose anyone close to you?

Not this year. Got lucky. Guess the universe decided to give me a little break.

Did you fall in love?

Nah, but I stayed in love with a coupla people. ;)

Did you fall out of love?

Nope!

Did you start a new relationship?

Nah. My husband and I have been together for 8 years.

Did you go through a break up?

See above!

Did you have to cut ties to someone?

Kinda. Had one or two people who wanted to be my friend. Made the mistake of being approachable and shit. But they figured out I’m a flakey asshole soon enough. :)

Who was important to you this year but wasn’t important last year?

I made amends with my friend, Tracie, this year. She was always important to me. But I was pretending that she wasn’t, last year.

Who wasn’t as important to you this year as they were last year?

I can’t really think of anyone. I guess my husband’s best friend - she moved out of our old house first, and I stopped talking to her as often. Prior to that we’d been pretty close. Proximity-based closeness is a trip, y’all.

If you could have a do over on one thing you did, would you take it?

Nah. I made it through. That’s all that counts.

What was the best moment of the year for you?

Seeing my friend get married. It was a really, really lovely ceremony.

What was the worst?

Probably when I tried out a new form of self-harm - aka banging my head as hard as possible against the bathroom sink. Gave myself a mild concussion. 0/5 would not recommend.

Did anything happen that you were sure would change you as a person but it really didn’t?

Going to Hawai’i. I don’t know why I thought it would change me - it just seems like one of those “life-changing” destinations, y’know? But it wasn’t. It was beautiful and otherworldly, and also full of a weird and uncomfortable mixture of white wealth and brown poverty. If anything, that only affirmed my beliefs more.

Did anything happen to you that you were sure wouldn’t change you as a person but it did?

It’s tough to answer these sometimes, because I just don’t really know who I am “as a person.” I don’t think there was anything I didn’t expect. Not this year.

What are you most proud of accomplishing?

I got out and worked a lot. I pushed through some really tough times and experienced some nice things on the other side. I was able to care for my husband during his down moments, the way he’s cared for me. I fuckin’ survived, which is always an accomplishment for someone whose brain is frequently shouting at them to end it all.

What have you learned about yourself this year that you didn’t know in the years prior?

I’m more resilient emotionally than I thought I was. I’m less resilient physically than I used to be.

Did your opinion of anyone change for the better?

I feel warmer and closer to my mother-in-law than ever before.

Did your opinion of anyone change for worse?

My sister continues to find new ways to disappoint me, but that isn’t exclusive to 2019. My former roommate went from being, in my mind, a mostly-okay guy, to potentially one of the worst people I’ve ever met. And that’s really saying something. Duplicity and lack of awareness go a long way in making someone shitty, though.

If you make resolutions, did you complete them this year?

Nah, pahaha. I was supposed to go outside and also journal every day. Didn’t do that. I mostly kept up with it, but there are a lot of gaps. I definitely spent a week or two consecutively indoors, at least twice.

If you make resolutions, what will your resolutions be for the coming year?

Probably gonna keep trying with the old ones, tbh.

If you could go on an adventure during the remaining days of the year, where would you go and what would you do?

I would go pick up Cami and head north, for Alaska. Find someone beautiful and peaceful to see the aurora borealis. Drink cream liqueur and hot cocoa with scarves and hats and gloves on. Look up at the endless stars. Have a long, sleepless road trip back, screaming our favorite songs at the top of our lungs, stopping at interesting places when we can.

What do you wish for others for the coming year?

I just hope things get better, dude. Stabler. Less scary.

What do you wish for yourself?

Same as the above, but on a micro scale. I’m heading into my 30s in this next decade. I gotta find something else to do besides just surviving.

[mucdonald]

Hey y’all!! I’m Jinx, I’m always tired and I use caps lock too much & ramble like it’s no one’s business. I’ll be playing Mary MacDonald and she’s truly one of my favorite characters I’ve been writing for years -- so I’m so so excited to bring her here to this wonderful RP! Most of what’s under the cut are just some fun rambles, trying to give you a proper look at Mary but I’ve also included a stat sheet and biography for further insight! 

AESTHETIC: Double winged black & gold eyeliner, graphic nerdy tees, tight fitting jeans, staying up all night, being the best friend you can be, giving the best presents,  perfectly manicured hands, always biting back, dark purple lipstick, scattered newspapers, marijuana smoke, Queen on vinyl, horned rimmed glasses, faded denim, quiet optimism, open cynicism, being messy with the words you speak but not write.

CHARACTER INSPO: Margo Hanson ( The Magicians ), Gina Linetti ( B99 ), Spencer Hastings ( PLL ), Cristina Yang ( Grey’s Anatomy ), Rachel Green ( FRIENDS ), Ben Wyatt ( Parks & Rec ), Ella Lopez ( Lucifer )

INFO: → biography • stat sheet • pinterest 

TRIGGERS: racism, prejudice, ptsd, drugs 

so mary is a libra/virgo cusp, which fits her p well tbh. september 23th, hoes, so she’s a lil older than the rest of her classmates though she definitely doesn’t act it.

her parents are sucky to her tbh but her brother and her are partners in crime. unfortunately he’s in his last year of uni before med school rn and he’s totally focused on that and not around as much.

coming to hogwarts was a dream and she met these people who are undoubtedly family.

in her fifth year mary had made a newspaper of her own for the school, only to find it all RUINED bc some ppl had fucked it up the day before she was gonna hand them out ( if u wanna be that person hmu ). it really upset her but it made her even more want to be a journalist and hasn’t stopped writing since. it’s not really a thing she talks about often, tbh? she used to a lot but she’s v scared deep down that something’ll happen again so she’s kept it to herself and in the future will get an offer from the prophet to write for them ( she’ll be treated p shitty due to being a muggleborn woman of color BUT ). at the moment though she really doesn’t know what to do with her life and feels particularly aimless despite her being super intelligent and having p good grades. really really aimless.

did i mention she loves her friends more than she loves herself????? BC SHE REALLY DOES. i imagine when she was in the hospital after her attack ( bc of mental reasons ) they came to visit her and it just made her love them more. regarding the incident though, while we don’t have a mulciber ( this is also very much open ended until we have one ) i imagine that mary, while she didn’t ask to be attacked, definitely instigated it to a degree. i imagine she could’ve easily egged on mulciber, as she usually does not know how to have a filter, and honestly i could’ve seen her doing it for a long time. in my opinion, this is why mulciber didn’t get kicked out from school -- because i could imagine the administration bringing up some BS like ‘well she instigated it’ also just being prejudiced bc she’s a muggleborn and a woc! but again, all of this is really open to changing as i don’t want to godmod! 

if you can handle her personality and shit, she’ll most likely love you. 

loves the bad guys with the sad eyes and the mouth full of white lies TBH it’s such a mess. not even because she thinks she can change them or make them better … it’s just her type it seems like … it’s REALLY FRUSTRATING. don’t ask her about her ex. she also love dorks tho. mary is definitely not interested in any kind of love or relationships though.

but she’s also BI BI BI she really thinks girls are a gift to the universe. she’s really figuring it out more so NOW, is probably out to her friends but not AT ALL to her parents, yikes

in the future she WILL have a chewbacca costume, too bad star wars hasn’t come out yet

is pretty rich and would buy her friends all chewbaca costumes if they wanted ( in the future )

is one of those stoners who are also perfectionistic and hardworking

WILL FIGHT BIGOTS ALL DAY EVERYDAY, will NEVER compromise who she is bc they hate her for her BLOOD. NEVER EVER. will ALWAYS PUNCH ASSHOLES AND BIGOTS IN THE FACE

she does suffer from ptsd, but she’s had a lot of therapy over the past summer that have helped her deal with it. she does still sometimes have random angry misplaced outbursts and still have nightmares but they’ve gotten a lot better thanks to the miracle that is Marijuana. she’s definitely still in the messy ass healing place though

would probably share her pot with you too she’s p nice about that

OH SHE WEARS GLASSES AND SHES GOT FRECKLES ACROSS HER NOSE AND CHEEKS!!!!!!

she really loves her friends, btw, idk if i mentioned that. i wanted to put peter quill as one of her character parallels bc she really acts like him sometimes and can be that reckless and stupid but it felt really random along side everyone ELSE so like THERE’S THAT FUN FACT

 CONNECTIONS ( though i’m doing badly at thinking of these rn ): 

FRIENDSHIPS: i need every sort of friendship! i need mary’s best friends! friends who bond over having a fucking hard time right now! stoner friends! friends mary stays up with all night to study with!

PURISTS AND ASSHOLES SHE’S PUNCHED IN THE FACE: self explanatory! 

FLINGS: mary is v much the type to casually hook up with people so i’m open to all these sorts of connections!! 

ANTAGONISTIC: these two butt heads whether it’s because they’re so alike or because they both just have a different set of ideals but do like challenging each other!!

TUTORS: mary is great with her school subjects in theory but in practice she’s definitely not the strongest witch and needs help from other people much more talented at magic!

BAD INFLUENCE: especially this year, mary is giving into her vices, into her complicated feelings, up all hours of the night, maybe someone who indulges this, someone she doesn’t realize is really trying to get her to give into this negative shit!

GOOD INFLUENCE: someone who helps mary see the good still, who pushes her to push through her pain or at least accept it. just a good human you know! 

MOM FRIEND: i mean y’all see she’s a mess someone give her a mom friend. pls. 

PAST RELATIONSHIPS/ROMANTIC TENSION: i’m open to maybe one or two lil cutesy relationships?? mary’s first love/everything broke her heart the summer before her fifth year so anytime before that. even if it was just something cute and innocent and it just didn’t work out or maybe they had something, it was there, but when she went home and fell in love w/ the dude who then broke her heart, she was TOTALLY closed off and it just never progressed from there. 

PARTY FRIEND: they always have a great time partying together, some of mary and them best times! tbh this could work for anyone as long as they’d be able to put up with mary and have a fun time

ANYTHING ELSE: i personally love talking about ideas etc so! anything else is great too!

[wildeinc]

“Girl” Code

If not all, then I’m sure, many of us have heard of “girl” code. In girl world, it’s the so-called law, the unspoken rules. There was also the MTV show Girl Code. There are just tips, rules, and guidelines to being a girl. It’s like some huge secret amongst female being. But historically, I think, it might be quite obvious why girls and women spoke in whispers and secrets; they were barely allowed to speak without permission. To make a long story shorter, girlhood/womanhood is sacred to the point where we all know the move when someone throws in girl code. I, however, disagree.

You see I’ve recently been pushed to the brink. I believe in what I believe. I love what I believe in. I wish more people believed in what I do. But then I guess that would make for far less interesting, critical conversations. Honestly, truly, my alarms always sound when a conservative tries to speak for marginalized groups they don’t even support. I recognize that’s my own flaw. Sometimes things just don’t merit a response. My parents say that with age and maturity my fuse will lengthen. Until then I suppose I’ll have to remain my “abrasive and controversial” self, which means I can say, fuck girl code!

*sigh* January 21, 2017, a day after the inauguration, humans gathered globally to stand with women. I didn’t even realize it was going on, otherwise I would have loved to be at the Women’s March in Austin. For those of us who couldn’t attend we showed our solidarity the way people usually do these days: social media. In my opinion it was incredible. Not specifically Austin’s, or D.C.’s, or anyone in particular, but just as a general whole. Because in the wake of the world’s chaos, my nation’s chaos, and my own chaos, the world was gathering to stand up for all that is femme.

I’m femme af! It is my personal life mission to speak in terms that open the scope of what society defines as female and womanhood. While also standing up against what they are not but have been constructed as. The Women’s March garnered so much attention, like most things that attempt to bring women to a higher status than second class. Imagine that. Women and their allies said, “Square up!” to the world around them that genuinely seeks to keep them “in place”. January 21, 2017 was a beautiful day in women’s history! I could think of many ways some marches were problematic; that wouldn’t be the point. It’s not every day the world comes together for women. Can we cherish that just for a moment?

The problem that really stuck out for me regarding the Women’s March were the women who felt that the marchers did not represent them. To some the Women’s March was vulgar and a waste of time. Not to be a smartass, but those are also adjectives that have probably been used to define womanhood. Your worst nightmare might be women having complete, unapologetic control of their own bodies. Yet that is such a foreign thought across all nations and cultures in the world. Women just birth the babies, right? Another conversation. Now that I’ve ranted I’ll lead you back to my point. There was quite of bit of backlash post-Women’s March. Not the kind about white feminism or cis-women not including transwomen. It was literally women offended because, “I have no problems as a woman. We’re fine.” Shut up. Stop. I find it fair to mention the vulva hat that surfaced on my timeline. First of all, L O L ! Second, stop it. You completely missed the point.

Listen, somewhere right now, a girl just wrote on social media, “How could a girl mess with another girl’s boyfriend?” G U R L ! You know what? Maybe you’re right, maybe I shouldn’t flirt back with the guy who has a girl, who just slid into my DMs all cute. You’re so right BUT not today. Your problem is your little boyfriend, not the person who’s made zero commitment to you. But y’all…girl code!

·      Don’t mess with another girl’s boyfriend

·      Don’t support her rights to her own body

There we are. There is a subconscious responsibility as women to be loyal to other women when their men can’t, but not in the way we should. Rather than speaking up against rape culture, women say, “She shouldn’t have put herself in that situation.” Instead of supporting sexual education or reproductive health, we say, “Abortion is murder.” And when you’re boyfriend cheats on you, “She’s such a slut! I’ll always love my boyfriend!” I’m supposed to stop YOUR partner from pursuing me because if they’re ok with deceiving you then I can’t be, although you’re pro-life, anti-choice, and women have a role and women need to respect themselves. I could say that the Women’s March didn’t represent me as a black woman. I still have concerns with western feminists’ presence in intersectional movements. That’s still not the issue right now. I think there were many supporters amongst the Women’s Marches whom advocate for all female identities. You can easily support someone while not subscribing to the act. I’ve never had an abortion, I might never have an abortion, but I support women who do and I value my right as a woman to make my own decision to have an abortion or not. I don’t want to be a housewife. I don’t want to be the caretaker role on my own. I don’t think plastic surgery is the answer. Nudes have a time and place. On the other hand, I believe housewives and caring for children is a job, some plastic surgery looks great, and who hasn’t taken a naked photo of their body? I will support your right to do those things and your right to live the lifestyle you choose. The list is never ending because girl code is supporting females. Women across the world showed up and showed out to further the truth that female is a force.

I don’t care that you think abortion is murder, that’s your prerogative. I do care that you don’t support my right to one. Way too often women have to say, “I can’t be friends with girls. Girls are bitches. I’m not like other girls.” An angel loses their wings every time internal misogyny is expressed. The moral of the story is “girl code” will never be a real thing if women don’t respect each other enough to support them. And I don’t mean respect the girl whom has screwed you over constantly. Feminism or supporting women has never been about liking every woman. As humans, with thoughts of our own, that is impossible in many ways. Regardless, as people who share such an intimate commonality, of which has been condemned by the “dominant” sex/gender, I think women have come too far. We have taken too much male shit to stand on their side and continue to oppress women. All while males think the same about you. I say this with love. Think about how big male egos get when you try to throw hands with other girls over him? It was literally his idea to not use a condom…

Thanks for the read! February is Black History Month so starting tomorrow, in honor of black history and women crush Wednesday, I’ll be posting some of my favorite influential black women! See you soon, Wild Things!

 Best,

Brie J. Wilde

[beatmyaudio]

Last Call Song Lyrics – Kanye West

Last Call Song Lyrics

Last Call Song Lyrics From Popular Hollywood Artist Kanye West from College Dropout Album.

This song is sung by singer ” Kanye West ” in Year .

Lyrics of Last Call :

Yo fuck you, Kanye, first and foremost For making me do this shit Muh’fucker Had to throw everybody out the motherfucking room ‘Cause they don’t fucking…. (I’d like to propose a toast) (I said toast motherfucker) And I am (here’s to the roc) And they ask me, they ask me, they ask me, I tell them (here’s to Rocafella) Raise your glasses, your glasses, your glasses to the sky (here’s to the roc) This is the last call for alcohol, for the…. (here’s to Rocafella) So get your ass up off the wall The all around the world Digital Underground, Pac The Rudloph the red nosed reindeer of the Roc I take my chain, my 15 seconds of fame And come back next year with the whole fucking game Ain’t nobody expect Kanye to end up on top They expected that College Dropout to drop and then flop Then maybe he stop savin’ all the good beats for himself Rocafella’s only niggaz that help My money was thinner than Sean Paul’s goatee hair Now Jean Paul Gaultier cologne fill the air, here They say he bourgie, he big-headed Won’t you please stop talking about how my dick head is Flow infectious, give me 10 seconds I’ll have a buzz bigger than insects in Texas It’s funny how wasn’t nobody interested ‘Til the night I almost killed myself in Lexus Now was Kanye the most overlooked? Yes sir Now is Kanye the most overbooked? Yes sir Though the fans want the feeling of A Tribe Called Quest But all they got left is this guy called West Better take Freeway, throw him on tracks with Mos Def Call him Kwa-lI or Kwe-li, I put him on songs with Jay-Z I’m the Gap like Banana Republic and Old Navy, and oooh It come out sweeter than old Sadie Nice as Bun-B when I met him at the Source awards Girl he had with him – ass coulda won the horse awards And I was almost famous, now everybody loves Kanye I’m almost Raymond’ Some say he arrogant Can y’all blame him? It was straight embarrassing how y’all played him Last year shoppin my demo, I was tryin’ to shine Every motherfucker told me that I couldn’t rhyme Now I could let these dream killers kill my self-esteem Or use my arrogance as the steam to power my dreams I use it as my gas, so they say that I’m gassed But without it I’d be last, so I ought to laugh So I don’t listen to the suits behind the desk no more You niggaz wear suits ’cause you can’t dress no more You can’t say shit to Kanye West no more I rocked 20,000 people, I was just on tour, nigga I’m Kan, the Louis Vuitton Don Bought my mom a purse, now she Louis Vuitton Mom I ain’t play the hand I was dealt, I changed my cards I prayed to the skies and I changed my stars I went to the malls and I balled too hard ‘Oh my god, is that a Black Card?’ I turned around and replied, why yes but I prefer the term African American Express Brains, power, and muscle, like Dame, Puffy, and Russell Your boy back on his hustle, you know what I’ve been up to Killin y’all niggaz on that lyrical shit Mayonnaise colored Benz, I push Miracle Whips “…. last call for alcohol, for my niggaz” So this A&R over at Rocafella, named Hiphop picked the Truth beat for Beanie And I was in the session with him I had my demo with me You know, like I always do I play the songs, he’s like “Who that spittin?” I’m like “It’s me..” He’s like “Oh, well okay..” Uhh, he started talkin to me on the phone going back and forth, just askin me to send him beats And I’m thinking he’s trying to get into managing producers cause he had this other kid named Just Blaze he was messin with And um, he was friends with my mentor, No ID And No ID told him, “look man, you wanna mess with Kanye you need to tell him that you like the way he rap” “Yo, you wanna sign him, tell him you like how he rap” I was all, I dunno if he was gassin’ me or not but he’s like he wanna manage me as a rapper AND a producer “I’ll sign you as a producer and a rapper”, I’m like oh shit I was messin with, uh, D-Dot also People were like this, started talking about the Ghost production But that’s how I got in the game If it wasn’t for that, I wouldn’t be here So you know After they picked that Truth beat I was figuring I was gonna do some more work But shit just went poppin off like that I was stayin in Chicago I had my own apartment I be doin’ like, just beats for local acts just to try to keep the lights on, and then to go out and buy get a Pelle Pelle off lay-away, get some Jordans or something or get a TechnoMarine, that’s what we wore back then I made this one beat where I sped up this Hal Melville sample I played it for Hip over the phone, he’s like “oh, yo that shit is crazy Jay might want it for this compilation album he doin, called The Dynasty..” And at that time, like the drums really weren’t soundin’ right to me so I went and um, I was listening to Dre Chronic 2001 at that time and really I just, like picked the drums off Xxplosive and put it like with it sped up, sampled, and now it’s kind of like my whole style when it started, when he rapped on ‘This Can’t be Life..’ And that was like, really the first beat of that kind that was on the Dynasty album I could say that was the, the resurgence of this whole sound You know, I got to come in and track the beat, and at the time I was still with my other management I really wanted to roll with Hiphop ‘Cause I, I just needed some fresh air, you know what I’m sayin, ’cause I been there for a while, I appreciated what they did for me, but, you know there’s a time in every man’s life where he gotta make a change, try to move up to the next level And that day I came and I tracked the beat and I got to meet Jay-Z and he said, “oh you a real soulful dude” And he uh, played the song ’cause he already spit his verse by the time I got to the studio, you know how he do it, one take And he said “check this out, tell me what you think of this, right here” “tell me what you think of this..” And I heard it, and I was thinking like, man, I really wanted more like of the simple type Jay-Z, I ain’t want like the, the more introspective, complicated rhy- or the, in my personal opinion So he asked me, “what you think of it?” “so what you thinkin?” And I was like, “man that shit tite,” you know what I’m sayin’, man what I’ma tell him? I was on the train man, you know So after that I went back home And man I’m, I’m just in Chicago, I’m trying to do my thing You know, I got groups I got acts I’m trying to get on, and like there wasn’t nothin really like poppin’ off the way it should have been One of my homeys that was one of my artists, he got signed But it was supposed to really go through my production company, but he ended up going straight with the company So, like I’m just straight holdin’ the phone, gettin’ the bad news that dude was tryin’ to leave my company And I got evicted at the same time So I went down and tracked the beats from him, I took that money, came back, packed all my shit up in a U-Haul, maybe about ten days before I had to actually get out So I ain’t have to deal with the landlord ’cause he’s a jerk Me and my mother drove to “Come on, let’s just go” Newark, New Jersey I hadn’t even seen my apartment.. I remember I pulled up “Kanye, baby, we’re here”, I unpacked all my shit You know, we went to Ikea, I bought a bed, I put the bed together myself I loaded up all my equipment, and the first beat I made was, uh, ‘Heart of the City..’ And Beans was still working on his album at that time, so I came up there to Baseline, it was Beans’ birthday, matter of fact, and I played like seven beats And, you know I could see he’s in the zone he already had the beats that he wanted, I did nothing like already at that time But then Jay walked in I remember he had a GuccI bucket hat on I remember it like, like it was yesterday And Hiphop said “yo play that one beat for him..” And I played ‘Heart of the City..’ And really I made ‘Heart of the City,’ I really wanted to give that beat to DMX “No I think Jay gon’ like this one right here”.. And I played another beat, and I played another beat And I remember that GuccI bucket, he took it and like put it over his face and made one of them faces like ‘OOOOOOOOOOH..’ Two days later I’m in Baseline and I seen Dame Dame didn’t know who I was and I was like “yo what’s up I’m Kanye..” “Yo, you that kid, Kanye?” “You that kid that gave all them beats to Jay? Yo, this nigga got classics” “Jay got classics, G..” You know I ain’t talkin shit.. I’m like “oh shit..” And all this time I’m starstruck, man I’m still thinking ’bout, you know I’m picturing these niggaz on the show The Streets is Watching, I’m lookin, these were superstars in my eyes And they still are, you know So, Jay came in and he spit all these songs like in one day, and in two days…. I gotta bring up one thing, you know, come back to the story, the day I did the ‘Can’t be Life’ beat on track, I remember Lenny S, he had some Louis Vuitton sneakers on, he think he fly And Hiphop was there, I think Tata, John Minnelli, a bunch of people I didn’t know all these people at the time they was in the room, and I said, “yo Jay I could rap..” And I spit this rap that said, uh “I’m killin y’all niggaz on that lyrical shit Mayonnaise colored Benz, I push miracle whips..” And I saw his eyes light up when I said that line But you know the West, the rap was like real wack and shit, so that’s all the response.. He said “man that was tite..” “That, that was cool That was hot..” That was it You know, I ain’t get no deal then, hehe.. Okay, fast forward.. So, Blueprint, H to the Izzo, my first hit single And I just took that proudly, built relationships with people My relationship with KwelI I think was one of the best ones to ever happen to my career as a rapper Because, you know, of course later he allowed me to go on tour with him Man, I appre– I love him for that And at this time, you know I didn’t have a deal, I had songs, and I had relationships with all these A&R’s, and they wanted beats from me, so they’d call me up, I’d play them some beats “Gimme a beat that sound like Jay-Z..” You know, they dick riders Whatever So I’ll play them these post-Blueprint beats or whatever and then I’ll play my shit I’ll be like, “yo but I rap too..” Hey, I guess they was lookin’ at me crazy ’cause you know, ’cause I ain’t have a jersey on or whatever Everybody out there listen here I played them ‘Jesus Walks’ and they didn’t sign me You know what happened, it was some A&R’s that fucked with me though, but then like the heads, it’d be somebody at the company that’ll say “naw..” Like, Dave LottI fucked with me, my nigga Mel brought me to a bunch of labels Jessica Rivera, man “Man, you niggaz is stupid if y’all don’t sign Kanye, for real..” I’m not gonna say nothin to mess my promotion up “Y’all niggaz is stupid” Let’s just say I didn’t get my deal.. The nigga that was behind me, I mean, he wasn’t even a nigga, you know? The person who actually kicked everything off was Joe 3H from Capitol Records He wanted to sign me really bad “We gonna change the game, buddy..” Dame was like, “yo you got a deal with Capitol, okay man, just make sure it’s not wack..” “you gotta make sure it’s not wack..” Then one day I just went ahead and played it, I wanted to play some songs, ’cause you know Cam was in the room, Young Guru, and Dame was in the room So I played…. actually it’s a song that you’ll never hear, but maybe I might use it So, it’s called ‘Wow..’ “I go to Jacob with 25 thou, you go with 25 hundred, wow I got eleven plaques on my walls right now You got your first gold single, damn, nigga, wow..” Like the chorus went Don’t bite that chorus, I might still use it So I play that song for him, and he’s like “oh shit” “Oh shit it’s not even wack..” “I ain’t gonna front, it’s kinda hot..” “it’s actually kinda hot..” Like they still weren’t looking at me like a rapper And I’m sure Dame figured, ‘like man If he do a whole album, if his raps is wack at least we can throw Cam on every song and save the album, you know So uh Dame took me into the office, and he’s like “yo man, we, we on a brick, we on a brick” “you don’t wanna catch a brick” You gotta be under an umbrella, you’ll get rained on.. I told Hiphop and Hiphop was all, “oh, word?” Actually, even with that I was still about to take the deal with Capitol ’cause it was already on the table and ’cause of my relationship with 3H That, you know, ’cause I told him I was gonna do it, and I’m a man of my word, I was gonna roll with what I said I was gonna do Then, you know, I’m not gonna name no names, but people told me, “oh he’s just a producer rapper” and told 3H that told the heads of the Capitol, and right– the day I’m talking about, I planned out everything I was gonna do man, I had picked out clothes, I already started booking studio sessions, I started arranging my album, thinking of marketing schemes man I was ready to go And they had Mel call me, they said “yo…. Capitol pulled on the deal” “Yo, Capitol pulled out on the deal..” And, you know I told them that Rocafella was interested and I don’t know if they thought that was just something I was saying to gas them up to try to push the price up or whatever I went up…. I called G, I said, “man, you think we could still get that deal with Rocafella?”

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