#why does this always happen as soon as i stop checking it < 3x daily. just. immediate Email Inbox Anxieté

[sad--tree]

what's up my dudes i havent checked my college email in at least 2 weeks, i missed the deadline 4 the makeup assignment for a course from last term, and im gonnadrop my only current course BUT i have no idea if the "withdrawal w/o academic penalty [aka an F]" date has passed! why yes i have been experiencing a severe relapse in my formerly-former depression, what makes you ask?

[shoury01]

PERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS AND PRODUCTIVITY: BEHAVIOURS ASSOCIATED

Story - The Ivy Lee Method:

By 1918, Charles M. Schwab was one of the richest men in the world. Schwab was the president of the Bethlehem Steel Corporation, the largest shipbuilder, and the second-largest steel producer in America at the time. The famous inventor Thomas Edison once referred to Schwab as the “master hustler.” He was constantly seeking an edge over the competition. One day in 1918, in his quest to increase the efficiency of his team and discover better ways to get things done, Schwab arranged a meeting with a highly respected productivity consultant named Ivy Lee. Lee was a successful businessman in his own right and is widely remembered as a pioneer in the field of public relations.

As the story goes, Schwab brought Lee into his office and said, “Show me a way to get more things done.” “Give me 15 minutes with each of your executives,” Lee replied. “How much will it cost me,” Schwab asked. “Nothing,” Lee said. “Unless it works. After three months, you can send me a check for whatever you feel it's worth to you.”

The Ivy Lee Method:. . . . . . . . During his 15 minutes with each executive, Ivy Lee explained this simple set of daily routine steps for achieving peak productivity:

1.      At the end of each workday, write down the six most important things you need to accomplish tomorrow.

2.      Do not write down more than six tasks.

3.      Prioritize those six items in order of their true importance.

4.      When you arrive tomorrow, concentrate only on the first task.

5.      Work until the first task is finished before moving on to the second task.

6.      Approach the rest of your list in the same fashion.

7.      At the end of the day, move any unfinished items to a new list of six tasks for the following day.

8.      Repeat this process every working day.

The strategy sounded simple, but Schwab and his executive team at Bethlehem Steel gave it a try. After three months, Schwab was so delighted with the progress his company had made that he called Lee into his office and wrote him a check for $25,000. A $25,000 check written in 1918 is the equivalent of a $400,000 check in 2015. The Ivy Lee Method of prioritizing our to-do list seems stupidly simple. How could something this simple be worth so much?

A) It is simple enough to actually work: . . . . . . . . The primary critique of methods like this one is that they are too basic. They do not account for all of the complexities and nuances of life. What happens if an emergency pops up? What about using the latest technology to our fullest advantage? Sometimes, complexity is actually a weakness because it makes it harder to get back on track. Emergencies and unexpected distractions will arise. Ignoring them as much as possible, dealing with them when we must, and getting back to our prioritized to-do list as soon as possible is what brings productivity. The use of simple rules to guide complex behavior often serves the best results.

B) It forces us to make tough decisions: . . . . . . . . . There is nothing magical about Lee's number of six important tasks per day. It could just as easily be five tasks per day. However, there is something magical about imposing limits upon ourselves. Sometimes, the single best thing to do when we have too many ideas (or when we are overwhelmed by everything we need to get done) is to prune our ideas and trim away everything that is not absolutely necessary. Constraints can make us better. Lee's method is similar to Warren Buffett’s 25-5 Rule, which requires us to focus on just 5 critical tasks and ignore everything else. Basically, if we commit to nothing, we will be distracted by everything.

C) It removes the friction of starting: . . . . . . . . . The biggest hurdle to finishing most tasks is starting them. Lee's method forces us to decide on our first task the night before we go to work. If we decide the night before, we can start work immediately the next day, and not end up wasting time deciding what needs our attention. It is simple, but it works. In the beginning, getting started is just as important as succeeding at all. 

Another tool that could be useful here is known as the Eisenhower Box (or Eisenhower Matrix) and it’s a simple decision-making tool. General Dwight Eisenhower had an incredible ability to sustain his productivity for weeks and months. And for that reason, it is no surprise that his methods for time management, task management, and productivity have been studied by many people. Before becoming the 34th President of the United States, Eisenhower was a five-star general in the United States Army, served as the Supreme Commander of the Allied Forces in Europe during World War II, and was responsible for planning and executing invasions of North Africa, France, and Germany.

D) It requires us to single-task: . . . . . . . . . Modern society loves multi-tasking. The myth of multi-tasking is that being busy is synonymous with being better. The exact opposite is true. Having fewer priorities leads to better work. World-class experts in nearly any field—athletes, artists, scientists, teachers, CEOs—have one characteristic that runs through all of them: focus. The reason is simple. We cannot be great at one task if we are constantly dividing our time ten different ways. Mastery requires focus and consistency. The bottom line? Do the most important thing first each day. It's the only productivity trick we need.

The Myth of Multitasking: Why Fewer Priorities Leads to Better Work

The word priority did not always mean what it does today. In his best-selling book, Essentialism (audiobook), Greg McKeown explains the surprising history of the word and how its meaning has shifted over time. “The word priority came into the English language in the 1400s. It was singular. It meant the very first or prior thing. It stayed singular for the next five hundred years. Only in the 1900s did we pluralize the term and start talking about priorities. Illogically, we reasoned that by changing the word we could bend reality. Somehow, we would now be able to have multiple “first” things. People and companies routinely try to do just that. One leader told me of this experience in a company that talked of “Pri-1, Pri-2, Pri-3, Pri-4, and Pri-5.” This gave the impression of many things being the priority but actually meant nothing was.” –Greg McKeown, Essentialism

Yes, we are capable of doing two things at the same time. It is possible, for example, to watch TV while cooking dinner or to answer an email while talking on the phone. What is impossible, however, is concentrating on two tasks at once. Multitasking forces our brain to switch back and forth very quickly from one task to another. This would not be a big deal if the human brain could transition seamlessly from one job to the next, but it cannot. Multitasking forces us to pay a mental price each time we interrupt one task and jump to another. In psychology terms, this mental price is called the switching cost. Switching cost is the disruption in performance that we experience when we switch our attention from one task to another.

For example, A 2003 study published in the International Journal of Information Management found that the typical person checks email once every five minutes and that, on average, it takes 64 seconds to resume the previous task after checking your email. In other words, because of email alone, we typically waste one out of every six minutes.

The myth of multitasking is that it will make us more effective. In reality, remarkable focus is what makes the difference. While we are on the subject, the word multitasking first appeared in 1965 IBM report talking about the capabilities of its latest computer.

Finding Your Anchor Task: . .. . . . . . .  . Doing more things does not drive faster or better results. Doing better things drives better results. Even more accurately, doing one thing as best you can, drives better results. The power of choosing one priority is that it naturally guides our behavior by forcing us to organize our life around that responsibility. Our priority becomes an anchor task, the mainstay that holds the rest of our day in place. If things get crazy, there is no debate about what to do or not to do. We have already decided what is urgent and what is important.

Saying No to Being Busy: . . . . . . . . As a society, we have fallen into a trap of busyness and overwork. In many ways, we have mistaken all this activity to be something meaningful. The underlying thought seems to be, “Look how busy I am? If I am doing all this work, I must be doing something important.” And, by extension, “I must be important because I'm so busy.” The people who do the most valuable work have a remarkable willingness to say no to distractions and focus on their one thing.

Implementation Intentions: Mastering One Thing at a Time

Many people have multiple areas of life they would like to improve. The problem is, even if we are committed to working hard on our goals, our natural tendency is to revert back to our old habits at some point. Making a permanent lifestyle change is difficult.

 The approach to mastering many areas of life is somewhat counterintuitive. If we want to master multiple habits and stick to them for good, then we need to figure out how to be consistent. How can we do that? Research has shown that we are 2x to 3x more likely to stick with our habits if we make a specific plan for when, where, and how we will perform the behaviour. For example, in one study scientists asked people to fill out this sentence: “During the next week, I will partake in at least 20 minutes of vigorous exercise on [DAY] at [TIME OF DAY] at/in [PLACE].”

Psychologists call these specific plans “implementation intentions” because they state when, where, and how we intend to implement a particular behavior. For example, implementation intentions have been found to increase the odds that people will start exercising, begin recycling, stick with studying, and even stop smoking. However (and this is crucial to understand) follow-up research has discovered that implementation intentions only work when we focus on one thing at a time. When we begin practicing a new habit it requires a lot of conscious effort to remember to do it. After a while, however, the pattern of behavior becomes easier. Eventually, our new habit becomes a normal routine, and the process is more or less mindless and automatic. Automaticity is the ability to perform a behavior without thinking about each step, which allows the pattern to become automatic and habitual. But here is the thing: automaticity only occurs as the result of lots of repetition and practice. The more reps we put in, the more automatic a behavior becomes. The most important thing to note is that there is some “tipping point” at which new habits become more or less automatic. The time it takes to build a habit depends on many factors including how difficult the habit is, what our environment is like, our genetics, and more. The counterintuitive insight from all of this research is that the best way to change our entire life is by not changing our entire life. Instead, it is best to focus on one specific habit, work on it until we master it, and make it an automatic part of our daily life. Then, repeat the process for the next habit. The way to master more things in the long run is to simply focus on one thing right now.

**Source Credits:

Too Much of a Good Thing by Amy N. Dalton and Stephen A. Spiller

How are habits formed by Phillippa Lally, Cornelia H. M. Van Jaarsveld, Henry W. W. Potts and Jane Wardle (2010)

Atomic Habits by James Clear.

Essentialism (audiobook) by Greg McKeown

The Time Trap by R. Alec Mackenzie and Mary Kay

Content Curated By: Dr Shoury Kuttappa

[masslessobtrusion]

Jordan Peterson, Joe Rogan, and my brother...

Edit: 

Tl;dr: Jordan Peterson’s self-empowerment does not apply to those who are addicted to drugs and are currently living in abusive households. It’s okay to give people a lending hand when they ask. Telling them to go to a doctor and get a job when they explain their struggles, how they are broken and don’t know how to go to a doctor and get a job. For several years. Is not the best course of action. 

It’s impossible to know what it’s like to be poor when you will never have to worry about it because your parents planned for your life properly and especially when your parents have hurt and manipulated you for years.

My oldest brother has told me to check out Jordan Peterson. I’ve known about him for a while. I used to be really into Joe Rogan and UFC, but I am no longer a fan and am actually embarrassed I used to like him. 2010-2017 . I listened to him some more today. He preached about how men need to forge their own path because no one is going to do it for them. That’s great advice. It’s empowering. Especially if you’re a small man with no father, which is why I feel this hits home with my oldest brother.  He’s short for a guy. 5f5-t6. He says 5ft8. Probably in shoes. Because every 5ft10 guy claims to be 6ft and it makes for awkward situations. I don’t condone insulting someone for their height. It’s something I’ve personally never worried about, because I’ve never had to. He has. It’s a struggle for a lot of shorter people and I understand this. I never really thought of him as short. When, I do, it explains the behavior in a way that I may be onto something.  We’ve had mutual friends, but he has always had different rules for us. He’s stricter with us. We don’t talk about our feelings. He’s in charge. He claims he’s always busy. He has worked at a used video game store in a part-time capacity while attending school for 20+. 3 kids, divorced. I had my grasp on millions of dollars. I touched mountain tops and gorgeous women on 100ft yachts. I did this coming from nothing and working an entry-level retail job. I met so many people who don’t have to worry about money it warped my perspective greatly. 

My Dad more or less disowned my oldest brother as a bastard child and treated him harsh early-on. Perhaps he sees my suffering as validation of his decision to move out. I’ve tried relating to him on my Father’s abuse and multiple hobbies. Cycling, guitar, video games, music. He’s not interested. 

He refuses to show any sort of compassion or empathy towards me. “Man, just look at him. He’s so bitter and resentful of anyone who is more successful or wealthier than him. He’s like a biker now. That’s why you don’t do drugs.”. It’s never too late to start. I have told him that. I can recall 2 times I have hung out with him in the last 10 years. His boundaries make for a shitty relationship.   Jordan Peterson was addicted to Xanax. When I hear him speak. I hear the same excuses every junkie makes. Instead of going through withdrawal and a taper. He went to Russia and received a treatment he couldn’t get in other countries. He was put into a coma for over 8 days. When I went through xanax withdrawal, I was also addicted to heroin. Nearly died from seizures. I had a broken jaw the entire time, I spent 7 days in ICU. 3 days in a psych ward AFTER that. I hadn’t made a mention of suicide since the first or second day. I refused to be admitted to the psych ward several times. They told me I had to sign the papers or the police were coming in. This was the only defiant act other than when I first woke up in the ICU after the seizure. 

My jaw was shifted several inches and locked open. I couldn’t close my mouth for 10 days. I chewed with my tongue and top teeth. Because the inside of my cheek was pinched between my teeth, cut open, and infected.  Every time I talked. I chewed on the inside of my cheek.   I received no pain killers. I went to an oral surgeon at a dental college, with no anesthetic he snapped my jaw back in place. It took several minutes and another injection of lidocaine and cold spray. It didn’t help much. I was screaming. 

After this. The abuse of my father continued. I also ran out of SSRI’s after 3 months of venlafaxine. SSRI withdrawal was new to me. I experienced it from December 2019-March 2020. I experienced a vertigo like sensation when I turned my head. It almost sounded like Star Wars blasters because there was high frequency ringing in my ears and the pitch would change when I turned my head. My vision felt a little warped too. I believe this sensation is what is commonly referred to as “brain zaps”. 

I can already hear Jordan Peterson’s excuses. “But I help save people’s lives!” “I am different.” “I am the exception.”. It’s the same excuses every junkie who doesn’t like admitting mistakes makes. The first comment on the Jordan Peterson video I watched where he talks about the horrors of Xanax. It says “We love you Jordan, get well soon Brother!”.  It’s a cult-like group now. Pushing books, health pills, blenders. Whatever they can hock to people in order to keep their lifestyles up.  My first thought. Ha, that’s probably my brother. He’s never said anything like that to me before. 

Never. It’s not required. But it doesn’t exist between us. Never has. I tried to correct that and told him I liked how the families I met elsewhere acted towards each other and he agreed. Especially as his divorce and my moving back home coincided. I saw this as an opportunity to get to know him better. We did several things together but the kids were always there. It quickly became a chore. I made it clear several times that I had issues I wanted to address and speak about regarding my health and safety. Involving my parents. Involving my lungs, and living situation. I just wanted someone to talk to. I made that clear. Anyone. My middle brother is too shy and dumb to comprehend the big brain level I operate at. He’ll get triggered.  “Yeah dude, you should find a wife who will pay for your shit and work part-time for a poverty wage while being a part-time stay at home Dad.”. Knock’er up 3-4 times and complain about being poor when you have no career or college education until your mid 40′s. Yeah dude, you’re doing it all wrong. Just do it right!”.

I felt like some of the girls I dated, would’ve been into marriage. But seriously, I was so awkward around girls until my mid-20′s. No confidence that I was attractive or that a lot of the girls I was friend-zoning myself in wanted to fuck like porn stars. Or your heads on my lap?

I didn’t want to marry Lauren. I thought she was too beautiful and talented to be influenced by my negativity. That’s honestly what I told myself when I stayed up, watched her sleep, to make sure she was still breathing. I haven’t really written about her yet. It’s going to be tough. 

He’s not a trashy person or a mean person by any means. He’s always been a smug little prick, with a holier than thou. Despite having the same hobbies. He never invited me or accepted my invitations. I think it’s weird. You’re my brother. Stop being so weird about everything and put your guard down for a second. Take-off the lifts. Everyone knows. 

I never put much thought into how being short could have an impact in our relationship. But with all of the Joe Rogan memes about how he over-compensates for his small stature by framing shots with furniture. I realized that my brother does over-compensate for his lack of height.  I think most smaller men do. There’s nothing wrong with that, except for the overly macho way Rogan talks about how someone who is insecure about their height needs to conquer their inner-bitch and start a podcast. Channel the “violence” in your DNA as he has.  He’s being a hypocrite. The dude is on so many drugs and hormones, his head increased 3x. Good for him, right? Except the dude tells millions of cult-like followers that hormones are fucked up. The fake-it until you make-it attitude is selfish and shallow. The average person interprets that as, “It’s okay to lie, cheat, and steal, as long as you make money.” “Be selfish, it’s the best way, when it benefits you! Socialism is good?”. Sending me mixed signals.

Seems like he only cares because he realizes it makes him hypocritical and I feel Joe Rogan is overly-sensitive about anything that could make him appear as homosexual.  So, that’s where the attraction in these leaders of men who don’t feel powerful, didn’t have fathers, and feel abandoned in the world are attracted to people like this. They seek guidance and found it.  I simply want to seek guidance from my friends and family. I don’t have friends and I don’t have family.  I should’ve shacked up with a wealthy girl in Colorado when I had the chance, right?. I thought that was such a shallow and shitty way to think. My parents would always say that. But, I chose to continue valuing making my own path. My brothers actually tried to hurt me during this time and that’s the only time they have done so. I think they were jealous that I was living on my own. I was struggling and poor. But I was doing it. I am capable.  Going down the path of addiction. I’ve been through heroin withdrawal 50-100 times. I chipped and shot up, used daily when I could. Got sick when I couldn’t. Benzos twice. SSRI’s once.  It’s similar to how someone who will never run out of money or be in a position such as yourself. Telling you to get a job and go to the doctor. After everything I just wrote(I don’t expect many, if anyone to read this and likely dismiss me as a severely disturbed individual to be avoided.). Keep in mind. A lot of the abuse from my parents, happened leading up to and AFTER my most recent suicide attempt. Calling me fat happened 5 months after I was released. I asked my Dad to stop calling me names “worthless fat piece of shit” or laugh when I’m making food. He knows I have a history of cutting and getting bullied. He’s just ignorant.  That’s why it’s weird to see him with such low energy and I feel there is something going on with him health wise. He is incapable of being nice for some reason. So, he is just not going to speak to me now. That is better. I wish he could just understand, admit his mistakes, and move on. That’s a trend in my family. No one admits mistakes. These people snap and go crazy rather than admit any sort of mistake. I used to be like that when I was younger. But I snapped out of it when I was around ~20yrs olds thanks to hallucinogenic drugs.  Alright, that’s enough. If I ever lose my vocal chords due to the throat cancer I likely have. At least I’m a decent enough writer. I could condense this greatly, by not rambling and getting my point across in a formatted/concise manner.  Typing and writing keep my fingers nimble. I started playing acoustic guitar last week. First time in a year or so. I might upload something.