#why has it been 10 years since i was 17 and i've accomplished very little? another thing i just can't explain

[gideonisms]

I don't really have the energy to explain myself there also is no good explanation for why my papers are always late. hey in the 10 years since I was 17 I have gone from never accomplishing anything/relying on test scores for success to turning in things 30 minutes-2 days late with an email that's like "sorry for the inconvenience! Here is the thing"

[dearfuturehusbandblog]

A Guy

Dear Future Husband,

It's been several months since I've heard from CousinAR, who is freshly back from seminary and getting ready to start college, but on Thursday she messaged to say hey and also ask about my shidduch resume and what I'm looking for. And then she and her mom CousinES called me to discuss.

Because it's about a guy.

I'm pretty sure it's not you though, for quite a few reasons.

Reason #1:

I don't think our families would be compatible.

He's apparently from a yeshivish family with like ten kids, they all do impressive things for work, and they grew up in a very fancy place.

Me? Not so much. To pretty much all of the above.

I think I wouldn't fit in well at all with his siblings.

And I've been an oddball for so much of my life that if/when I get married I want it to be with a family that feels like family.

Or with someone who has literally nothing to do with their family so it's just the two of us in our own happy little bubble.

Either one.

Reason #2:

He has the exact same name as the father of the family that lived. next door to me pretty much my entire first 28 years of life.

MrNextDoor is a very nice, chashuv person. But he's also kind of overbearing and inserts himself into situations where he's not always welcome. I guess social cues are just not his forte.

I will admit that his pushiness has been a benefit on some occasions, as he's been able to accomplish some amazing things including setting up schools, getting neighborhood ordinances followed, and one of my non-frum grandparents actually got a proper burial because he not only insisted on coming to the levaya despite it being an hour away, but also brought proper shovels and stood there in the hot sun with my brother filling in the grave before the bobcat could come and finish the job.

But I'm a weirdo who just can not see past the name.

In a hypothetical situation where we dated and he actually liked me and I liked him and we ended up getting married, there would never be a day in my life where I couldn't say his name and not think of MrNextDoor and it makes me so uncomfortable to even think about.

It's just too ew for me, even if he is a nice guy.

(because I'm a mess of a human, obviously)

Reason #3:

He's 5 years younger than me.

And in case we haven't covered this ground yet, I'm an agist.

Whenever I hear about an age gap, my first thoughts go to what that time disparity represents.

For one thing, it means that I graduated high school the year he was bar mitzvahed. Which is weird.

For another, it means that he's still in his 20s and I'm so "middle aged" already. lol

And in a lot of ways he's still very young, while I'm just so decidedly not. Not physically, not emotionally.

And that also leads into

Reason #4:

He doesn't have a full time job yet.

He's bounced around a bit in terms of work, trying to find a community where he feels comfortable, and jobs have understandably come along with that kind of moving.

But that also means he's not a settled person. And he's young, he has that option in life. But I'm an old curmudgeon and although we may be compatible in a lot of ways, I need someone who is more settled than I am to be the rock in the relationship.

Reason #5:

He's studying to become a mashgiyach.

Not a yeshivah mashgiyach, but a food mashgiyach.

You may be wondering why that's a reason not to marry someone, and for some people, maybe even a lot of people, that's not a problem.

But I grew up in a household that was built on the instability of a family "supported" by a mashgiyach.

For the first 10 years of my life my father was hardly ever around. He worked odd, long hours out of town and constantly hopped from job to job.

I don't know if things are different now, but at the time mashgiyach work was more like gig work than it was a real job.

In those first 10 years my father worked at 17 different places, but the last two years he was at one location, so it was more like 16 jobs in 8 years.

That's not stability.

And I know we're in galus.

I know we're not supposed to be comfortable.

I know that just because someone has a steady job now doesn't mean they will tomorrow.

And I know that everything is in Hashem's hands.

But I also know that you have to do hishtadlus.

And if you're doing the work of a shoeshine man on the side of a road where nobody walks, you're not going to become a millionaire through your work.

Unless you're a gadol. I'm sure we've all heard those stories.

But for the beinoni - for those of us in the middle, we have to at least attempt steady, stable work at a certain pay grade for Hashem to provide that kind of sustenance.

And I don't see that happening for me with a mashgiyach.

Considering how much the average cost of living is today in the US, generally. And considering how much higher the average cost of living is today in the frum world... I don't see the paycheck of a mashgiyach cutting it to provide for a family, with or without whatever I'm making to contribute.

Reason #6:

I just don't know how to broach the whole "I don't think I can have kids" thing with my cousins.

On the one hand, I don't want to put a stumbling block before the blind by going out and forming relationships with young guys who believe that's a possibility with me.

On the other hand, I know that everything is in Hashem's hands and I know a woman who was told she'd never have kids and went on to have like 15, so just because I think I might not be able to doesn't mean I won't at all.

But having children is his chiyuv, not mine. It should be his decision whether or not to pursue a relationship like that.

So do I not tell CousinAR and her mom, the two people in this equation that I know and trust, about the whole kids thing?

Does even talking about it make it an ayin hara and less likely to happen for me?

Do I keep allowing CousinAR and her mom to make shidduch suggestions for me, all the while keeping this huge secret and finding reason after reason to shut down their suggestions?

Reason #7:

I don't really find him all that attractive.

I know, I know, it's the whole shallow conversation all over again, but it's true.

And again, that's such a hard thing to say to someone who is so excited to make the suggestion in the first place.

"He's so nice! And I was listening to what he was looking for and I just kept thinking you fit all those boxes!"

I've explained that even if I don't think I'm the right person, I'm more than happy to chat with someone even once to see if maybe I know someone else for them.

But

Reason #8:

I'm still a mess of a human. I think we know this. It's been established. We continue to go over this again and again.

And it's sweet that my cousins don't recognize that about me.

But that also means I'm hiding it really well. Which is a problem.

But I think we've covered all of that before...

And so, here we are again.

A nice suggestion, but me lost in the middle just so unsure of how to say "thank you, but no thank you."

I can't be the only one that struggles with this, right?

-LivelyHeart

[golbrocklovely]

again, the tweet gremlin asked so kindly for more, so i had to fill that request lol

here is a continuation of colby's tweets from 2017.

i don’t have proof that these are his tweets, but believe me, they are his.

if it’s bold and italicized, it’s someone's tweet to him (or... tweets for context to what he was responding to).

if it’s in (), that’s just me commenting lol

~~~~~~~~~~~

April 3 - My mind is so foggy today

Everyone needs time at least once a week to relieve stress and figure out their lives.

April 4 - TIP OF LIFE: if you find yourself overthinking while you're alone, put away ALL electronics and just breathe. Slowly. Focus on that only.

Why must I need to be so paranoid sometimes

April 6 - The amount of drama that happens because of social media .. it's crazy. Hahahah

Doing things for me and the ones I care about.

April 8 - DRAMA RIDES ON MY BACK wherever I go

April 9 - Don't hurt the ones who care about you most

Yo my friends are so weird I LOVE IT

April 11 - @/BrennenTaylor how many RTs for you to go to prom with me ?

April 13 - You guys make my life feel like a dream ... Thank you for that

April 14 - One of my biggest pet peeves is when people steal my ideas. It's the worst

April 16 - Seeing you always makes my day just a little brighter

April 17 - So many embarrassing videos of me on the internet it's not even funny. I still laugh though

April 19 - Crazy adventure tonight. gunna try to talk to a troubled spirit. Here we go

April 21 - @/katstuartmusic : I'm so sick

@/samgolbach : Now I think I'm sick too :/

You guys must have been holding hands too much gross

April 22 - The trick to succeeding in life is not caring about what others think and doing what you love

April 25 - After all this time, and you're still on my mind

I see eltons ghost when I close my eyes at night

April 28 - How sick would it be if you could fly ..

I'm going to makeshift wings out of geese feathers and super glue. Watch me

May 1 - Got up early this morning .. but moved 5 feet to my couch and fell back asleep

May 6 - You ever feel like you're slowly driving yourself crazy..?

May 7 - It's crazy how people can change completely with time.

Someone you know now can be a different person in just a couple years.. WEIRD

Been a while since I've gotten to leave LA .. feels so nice

May 8 - Get to see my dogs and family tomorrow

May 10 - Let's just forget

May 11 - Always happier with my puggle by my side

May 13 - I think one of the most important things I've learned in life is that you should ALWAYS be yourself. Dress, talk, act, like YOU

You don't have to listen to anyone who doesn't agree or has a negative opinion of your life choices, just do what makes you happy:)

Confidence is key. If we were all meant to act "cool" our entire lives then there wouldn't be that many unique personalities out there

May 14 - Proud to see my brother graduate college with a bachelors degree in journalism! What an accomplishment

Glad I have the best mom in the entire world. Really the only person I can always connect with emotionally, someone who's always there

May 15 - Sorry Ed Sheeran fans. But if I hear shape of you play one more time on the radio I might have to hurl myself in front of a cargo train.

(that's.... a very specific thing to throw yourself in front of lol)

May 17 - Funny how every time I go back to Kansas and see all my old friends, I'm reminded of how much I've really changed since high school

May 18 - My room looks like a rainbow and it makes my soul really happy

Back in Kansas, exploring abandoned places and breaking into petting zoos was just a normal night for the crew, Sam and I before social media

I'm excited to say that when we went back to Kansas, a lot of the old stuff we used to do off camera was filmed this time ...

Gotta start wearing more colors

You can find me at target buying a new male romper

May 19 - Headed to a fair tonight, look at me being all social wow

May 20 - Can't trust anyone with ideas in social media. Everyone will take your stuff if they see success in it

(someone was really trying to copy him in 2017... strange.)

May 22 - I want this summer to be the best one of my life:) screw being sad about anything, I'm just livin lifeee

May 24 - If you're not happy, it's not worth it

May 29 - Where do people find the motivation and energy to wake up in the morning ? That's what I struggle with most

Just trying to be the happiest person I can be!

June 3 - Are there ever places that pop up in your mind where you have NO CLUE what they could possibly even look like?

LOOKS LIKE ILL JUST HAVE TO TRAVEL THE ENTIRE WORLD HAHAHAHAHAH

If you're loyal, God bless your little heart

June 8 - Make time for the things in your life that are important to you

I wanna be able to enjoy the simpler things in life, instead of worrying about everything else

My mind is constantly in different places, but still I have nothing to say

June 10 - Crazy how you can go from talking to someone everyday of your life for so long, to not speaking at all. Feels like something's missing.

Just because things changed, didn't mean I wanted them to

"I wish I was like you.... easily amused"

June 16 - If you judge someone based on appearance/popularity on social media, what are you thinking? There's so much more that the eye can't see

As soon as someone appears on camera, people forget reality. Forget that everyone is the same as everyone else

June 18 - The amount of "Happy Father's Day" I've gotten is absolutely ridiculous

June 22 - You'll always be my favorite memory .

A fan comes up to me and says "wow! You look so much skinnier in person!" Uhhhhm EXCUSE ME !?

June 25 - For a minute there, I lost myself. Glad to be back to my roots

@/Aaron_Doh I'm surprised you're up Aaron. I can't sleep. I love you.

(aww this is really sweet lol)

June 30 - Rather waste some time with you

[willwritesablog]

Book Review: Red Dead Redemption by Matt Margini

Published by Boss Fight Books, 2020

Ebook Cost: $4.95, Paperback Cost: $14.95, Paperback + Ebook Bundle: $17.95

8/19/20

This necessarily won't be a comprehensive review of Matt Margini's latest book, Red Dead Redemption, but rather an overview of my experience in reading it and descriptions of some parts that especially stood out to me (and why.)

At the beginning of the book, Margini makes a humble disclaimer that apart from two brief trips, he himself has not been to the west. He corrects the notion that this would immediately disqualify him from writing this book afterword by opening into his central idea; the book is about Easterners' perceptions on the West, and is specifically about a videogame that brings these differences into the limelight, Red Dead Redemption by Rockstar Games.

I give all this exposition because I have never played Red Dead Redemption (or its sequel), I have never been west of Chicago, I've only read 4 western books and I've watched maybe one or two western movies. Beyond watching some beginning and ending cutscenes on YouTube, I went into this book fresh on the series. Besides playing through GTAV, I am still fresh to releases by Rockstar Games.

These factors should immediately disqualify me from writing a review, so I'll amend the notion by stating that my review is largely on the merits of Red Dead Redemption (the book) as a standalone piece.

As a standalone piece Red Dead Redemption functions flawlessly; it's written remarkably well. I was curious and a little skeptical going into this book on how Margini would approach this game, given Rockstar Games' notoriety in being tight-lipped on their development process. This already puts him at a disadvantage, but Margini makes up for it--profoundly--by picking apart every detail in the game and citing it to similar works in film, literature, and in other games that most definitely served as inspiration. Any developer interviews or relevant community reactions towards the game are cited and implemented into the book as well.

Red Dead Redemption by Matt Margini serves as a fascinating index over the western genre, and this is just one of the many things it accomplishes. It bears a strong amount of re-readability (as a small example, the first chapter begins with something the author was told 4 years ago. On the acknowledgements page, the first sentence states how he began scheming this book out four years ago) and contains a lengthy section of citations for extended reading (which also seems to be a feature in all publishings by Boss Fight Books.)

Matt Margini accomplishes multiple smaller things across writing this book--at its core he analyzes the western genre (and the death of the western genre), the mechanics of Red Dead Redemption, and the spirit of Red Dead Redemption (which is roughly a combination of the two.) But a number of related subjects and asides are discussed as well; personal connections to the game and Matt Margini's father are frequent, historical connections being made are not uncommon, and comparisons to other video games and their storytelling are prevalent. One of my favorite sections of the book was when Margini referenced and explained the idea of a "map game," the repeated pattern of modern video games to be open-world, expansive, and then inevitably claustrophobic as the player gathers his or her bearings. "Virtual tourism" is another term he uses here.

The most difficult portion of this book to read, I found, was the longest chapter, "Cowboy." Large sections of this chapter I found myself disagreeing with. In this chapter Margini identifies Owen Wister and his novel The Virginian as what "gave the cowboy his shape as a quintessentially American icon" and proceeds to illustrate him and his novel in a less-than-flattering light. This is discussed to serve as a reference point, as many western works released after The Virginian, Margini argues, carry similar ideological flaws.

Margini follows on this by comparing Wister's ideals to his friend Teddy Roosevelt's ideology and the value he saw in individuals adopting this western ideal. Margini states that Roosevelt's modification of the frontier thesis definitively transitioned its hero from the "humble yeoman farmer" into the chaotic "Daniel Boone, a Davy Crockett... a 'man who knows Indians' but takes their land by force," a character, to paraphrase, who lives outside of society, whose actions serve society, but who does not value society or its rewards itself.

Margini states that Roosevelt's ideals held "deeply racist implications" because his ideal man subjugated or was complicit in subjugating Indians, and also because it roots back to Nietzsche's Übermensch. If his beliefs were this way, I didn't find the book's connection towards this to be very effective. Margini uses very racial language when describing Roosevelt's beliefs, but from what is shown, it doesn't seem like this virtue in subjugation was drawn across racial lines.

Later, in "Cowboy," in closing off the same interlude and in making present-day connections, he alludes to the structure of the game of Red Dead as implicitly strengthening racial prejudices, in that your character, a white man, is able to function at a higher capacity than the other, robotic characters in the game. He concludes this in saying, "Everyone else [in the game] is just--to borrow a term weaponized by contemporary white supremacists--NPCs." Although this is meant as a brief point, Matt Margini either fundamentally misunderstands, or is being disingenuous to, the "NPC" pop culture phenomenon. The idea of the "NPC" and using it as a derogative began by a broader right-wing dissident movement--it was significant for symbolizing an opposition to consumerism, hedonism and nihilism as opposed to anything racial. It's a pretty egregious mischaracterization and show-of-the-hand on where Margini aligns his personal views--he uses a very serious subject (white supremacy) as a boogeyman in referencing a topic his audience is likely ignorant on.

In spite of that and even in other places in the book I feel prone to disagree with, Matt Margini makes his cases very well. Red Dead Redemption would make for an excellent book to read within a book club or even within a filmmaking class due to its wide scope, its excellent analyses and its thought-provoking subject material. The language used within it is stunning as well--such as in the following quote about the ideal of the cowboy, "The way he's 'seen trouble' that the East Coast man hasn't seen, crystallizing a purer kind of virtue that lies beneath a life of vice," the imagery Margini evokes here of an unmoving, bedrock virtue being forged under the pressures of vice is near-perfect. In reading Red Dead Redemption I ended up writing down close to a dozen new words that I had not heard before to look up. And Matt Margini accomplishes all of this in under 200 pages.

As I began with this review, this is in large part a discussion of my personal experience with this book. In keeping with that spirit, I'm rating this book a 4/5 here, however, I went ahead and left smaller reviews on Goodreads and on LibraryThing with full 5 star ratings just to help data analytics. It's gripping, it's seamless, and it's a better book than I could write. It's a book that deserves to be read.

Easy to Binge-Read?: I read it in three sittings (reading through the first four chapters, then reading chapters “Cowboy” and “Violence,” and then finally reading the remaining three chapters), although some might finish it in an afternoon.

Review: 4̶/̶5̶

EDIT, 10/17/20: Too little too late, but attempting to diagnose this book on a 5 point scale was petty and stupid of me. My disagreements with the book cover about half of my review, but only around 2% of its pages. From its discussion of map games to its identification of "every signifcant tourist attraction in Florida [being] the remnant of some early-20th-century megalomaniac’s quasi-utopian passion project," I've cited this book a number of times on other things ever since finishing it.

Rating: 9/10

[polkadotsockz]

I don't know why, but I've always liked these.

100 Things About Me 

1. What is your full name? Kimberly 

2. How old are you? 23 

3. When is your birthday? 12/12 

4. What is your zodiac sign? The charming and witty, Sagittarius 

5. What is your favorite color? Blacker than my soul 

6. What’s your lucky number? 12 (look at my birthday!) 

7. Do you have any pets? Two wonderful cats, Fuu (Fuu Kitty) and Archer (Archie) 

8. Where are you from? Connecticut 

9. How tall are you? 5′8" 

10. How many pairs of shoes do you own? Like 10, but I wear 3-4 of them regularly 

11. What did you last have for breakfast? Scrambled eggs and cold brew coffee

12. What was your last dream about? The last one I remember having was one in which I was in my high school cafeteria. For some reason everyone in my high school was invited to this wedding (don't know whose), and we all decided to get dressed at school. Now mind you, this took place in my high school but in the present day, meaning we were all adults. When I looked around, guys and girls were putting on their outfits, doing their hair, and doing their makeup. All the parents were there getting ready too. I remember getting upset because my parents brought the wrong dress for me. They brought the dress I wore to my cousin's wedding a few years ago, which is a beautiful dark blue gown. I was upset because I was afraid the dress would rip because of all the weight I've gained. (The dress actually did rip in real life when I wore it to my step-aunt's wedding a couple of months ago; causing me to have to borrow someone’s dress for the rest of the night). So after some complaining, I convinced them to stop back at home so I could get a different dress, and that's when I woke up. 

 13. What is the best thing about you? I always try to see the best in everyone, even if they've done me wrong. 

 14. Put shuffle on your iPod, what were the first 5 songs? 

      1. Part II - Paramore 

      2. ARTPOP - Lady Gaga 

      3. Dancing in Circles - Lady Gaga (really?! 2 in a row?) 

      4. But It's Better if You Do - Panic! At the Disco 

      5. Comedy of Errors- Alesana 

15. Favorite song? It typically depends on my mood, but the one that is most constant is “Born This Way” by Lady Gaga. It’s pretty much the perfect song because a. it’s fun to sing along to, b. it’s fun to dance to, c. it has beautiful lyrics with a powerful message about self-love and self-acceptance, especially for the LGBT community.

16. Favorite TV show? Game of Thrones, by fucking far!

17. Favorite movie? the Harry Potter series

18. Do you miss anyone right now? I miss my Sammy and I miss my friends who I don’t see nearly enough

19. Do you want children? I think so, but I have promised myself that I won’t have kids unless and until I work out my anxiety issues because I don’t want to pass this along to yet another generation in my family.

20. Do you want a church wedding? Nah, I’d probably burst into flames up at the altar.

21. Are you religious? Nah, I like Satan jokes too much.

22. Have you ever been to the hospital? The last time I remember going was when I was 6 and needed 10 stitches on my head.

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? Sadly, no. I hold out hope that I’ll meet Lady Gaga. 

24. Baths or showers? Both! I only really like baths when I have a bath bomb/bubble bar, though!

25. What color socks are you wearing? None. 

26. Have you ever been famous? Nah, I don’t have the charisma or personality to handle that much attention.

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? Nah, I like my privacy tbh.

28. What type of music do you like? Lady Gaga, Paramore, emo/screamo that I’ve been listening to since middle/high school, occasional radio hits

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? No :/ I totally should have when I was home alone when I lived at my parents’.

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two! My favorite is when I can lay my head on one, and hug the other one.

31. What position do you usually sleep in? I usually sleep on my side (fetal position)

32. How big is your house? Our apartment is a decently sized one-bedroom

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? Eggs or rolled oats with fruit

34. Have you ever fired a gun? Nope!

35. Have you ever tried archery? No, but it sounds cool

36. Who is your celebrity crush? Lady Gaga cuz she’s actually perfect

37. Who do you look up to? Lady Gaga, because she isn’t afraid to be who she is and inspires others love and accept themselves. She is an extremely talented and accomplished musician, but retains such a humility and love for her fans. So basically, as I said before, she’s perfect.

 38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? 22 hours. When I was a high school senior, I got hooked on World of Warcraft, and I would do raids until 2 am (Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays), and then wake up for school at 5 am. Thursdays were the worst. 

39. Do you have any scars? On my forehead from the 10 stitches I got as a child, and a few on my face from the chicken pox.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? I don’t believe so.

41. Are you a good liar? I’m good at white lies (“I love that new haircut!”) but suck at lying about things that actually matter because I’m really bad at hiding my feelings.

42. Are you a good judge of character? For the most part. 

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? I like to pretend I can do a British accent, but it’s not all that.

44. Do you have a strong accent? Nah lol, just standard New England.

45. What is your favorite accent? British, Irish, Australian

46. Name all the countries you’ve been to? Not as many as I’d like! I have only been to Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico, and I took a cruise as a kid that stopped in Aruba, St. Martin, and St. Thomas. So basically, I’ve been around the Carribean.

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? I don’t know, haha. I’m too broke for expensive clothes, I’m a grad student.

 48. Can you curl your tongue? Kind of.

49. Are you an innie or an outie? Innie!

50. Left or right handed? Right, my left hand is useless

51. Are you scared of spiders? Yes, I hate all of them.

52. Favorite food? You can never go wrong with pizza

53. Favorite foreign food? Thai food is heaven.

54. Are you a clean or messy person? I can be messy with clothes, but for the most part, I’m a neat freak. I get anxiety if things are too dirty around the house.

55. Most used phrase?  “I’m too tired for life......”

56. Most used word? “Fuck”

 57. How long does it take for you to get ready? Probably like 30-45 minutes on average. I varies depending on how long my shower is, how much make up I’m trying to wear, what I’m doing to my hair, and if shaving my legs is part of the process. 

58. Do you have much of an ego? Most of the time I tend to be very hard on myself, so I’m gonna say no.

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Don’t eat many lollipops nowadays, but suck!

60. Do you talk to yourself? All the time! I’m a great conversationalist.

61. Do you sing to yourself? All the time! Every car ride is a concert just for me.

62. Are you a good singer? I’m not too shabby. 

63. Biggest Fear? Failure, rejection, judgement.

64. Are you a gossip? I can be. I enjoy talking about others, but many times it’s not in a negative way. For example, if I’m worried about someone who isn’t really saying much to me, I may ask another friend what’s going on with them because I’m concerned...not cuz I’m trying to talk shit. I guess I should get better at direct communication, tho.

 65. Favorite character in anything? Tyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones, ASOIAF

66. Do you like long or short hair? I like both, but I’m digging my ultra long hair right now cuz I had short hair for so long!

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? Probably, just don’t ask me where they all are on the map.

 68. Favorite school subject? English/literature all the way!

69. Extrovert or Introvert? Too introverted to handle.

70. Favorite hobbies? Reading, writing, watching movies/shows, make-up, spending time with my boyfriend and friends

71. What makes you nervous? Everything social, judgement, presenting in front of people, making decisions.

72. Are you scared of the dark? I used to be, but now I like it. 

 73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Not really. I used to correct peoples’ grammar/spelling mistakes, but then I realized what an ass I was being. I only really point out mistakes if I think the mistakes will negatively impact the person.

74. Are you ticklish? Yes, extremely and everywhere.

75. Have you ever started a rumor? I don’t think so.

 76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? I guess I’m in a position of power/authority in my career. I never know what to do with that power, though.

77. Have you ever drank underage? Of course. 

78. Have you ever done drugs? I’ve dabbled in a few things. Weed is the only consistent one, and it’s hardly a “drug.” I’ve never done anything seriously addictive/dangerous like heroine or meth or something.

79. Who was your first real crush? This kid in my second grade class. He didn’t like me though cuz he was popular, and I was very unpopular.

80. How many piercings do you have? 5 - lobes, industrial bar, nostril, and navel. I want so so so many more though.

81. Can you roll your Rs? Spanish is my second language, so claro que sí!

82. How fast can you type? Pretty damn fast, actually.

83. How fast can you run? Fast if it’s for a very short distance. I have very little endurance, though.

84. What color is your hair? Naturally, I’m a milk chocolate brown. Right now, I’ve got about 2-3 inches my roots grown out, and the rest is a fading purple.

85. What color are your eyes? Dark brown.

86. What are you allergic to? Just pollen.

87. Do you keep a journal? I’ve always been bad at keeping up with journals. I wish I could find some old ones with my poetry.

88. What do your parents do? Dad: owns a little grocery store, Mom: works at a bank, Stepdad: works at an investment bank (stocks and such)

 89. Do you like your age? It’s okay. I’m getting old, though.

90. What makes you angry? Ignorance/ hatred: racism, homophobia, transphobia, sexism, etc. It honestly makes no sense to me how people can’t just love and accept one another and mind their own damn business.

91. Do you like your own name? I think it’s a nice name.

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? I’ve had many thoughts throughout the years. I’ve always been partial to gender neutral names like Alex, Riley, Andy, etc.

93. Do you want a boy or a girl for a child? One of each would work.

94. If you had to have someone narrate the story of your life to you when you died, who would it be? This is an odd question, honestly, I’m not sure.

 95. What’s the best thing you’ve ever won? I don’t really win things.

96. How did you get your name? My mom and dad were thinking “Nelly” but then my grandma’s best friend talked them into “Kimberly.” I feel that this is more fitting. 

97. Out of the original 151 which is your favorite Pokémon? I didn’t watch Pokemon.

98. What browser do you use? Safari cuz I’m a Mac.

99. Color of your bedspread? I think it’s purple right now.

100. Color of your room? White cuz I rent and can’t paint the walls