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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Surveys #417-419

Been slacking on posting these, so here’s like three surveys over the past few days divided up. I just don’t feel like posting them individually. Beware, it’s a long post, haha.

Do you believe that animals don’t have souls? I lean towards the idea that they, at least more complex species with actual sentience, do in some way. It's hard to imagine like, a fly having a soul, but it's a nice thought. You could NEVER convince me some don't, though, like my late dog Teddy, Sara's old chameleon Jem, and I could go on and on. Have you ever not been able to swallow pills? No, I've always been able to. If you HAD to change your first name, what would you change it to? Maybe like, Quinn. Something you don't hear a lot, for sure. Something more memorable. What are your thoughts on orange soda? Orange cream soda is BOMB. Man, been so long since I've had that stuff... Are you good with children and/or animals? Don't mean to brag, but people say I'm like a magician with animals. No matter what it is, I bond with it. Children, not so much. I'm awkward around them. Who in your life makes you smile the most? My cat, ha ha. If you were cremated, where would you want your ashes to be placed? Hm. Maybe high up in the mountains or in the Kalahari Desert. Do you plan on going to your high school’s reunion? No. I'm pretty sure I'd shatter from memories just entering the building. Would you want revenge on someone if they killed someone special to you? Or would you find it in your heart to forgive? "Forgive" my ass. They'd better get what's coming to them, even if I've gotta be the person to deliver it. Is there someone you are dying to see? More than I think anyone could possibly know. But it's probably better if I never do. Could you picture yourself getting married and having kids? Married, yes. Having kids, no. I could only picture that in one phase of my life, but like I called it: a phase. I should never be a mother, nor do I want to be one to begin with, so yeah, no kids for me. Do you like to take walks? If my legs were actually worth a shit, yes, I would, if it's in a nature-filled area. What are you listening to at this moment in time? "Thoughts & Prayers" by Motionless In White. Did you ever kiss someone with a tattoo? No. Could you say something good about the last person you kissed? She's very resilient. Why are you single? Because 1.) I'm a very unappealing example of an adult, 2.) I'm not exactly very attractive, and 3.) I'm basically a hermit, so I don't meet people. Do you get jealous if your boyfriend hugs another girl? Hypothetically, in almost any case, I wouldn't. My imaginary boyfriend can have female friends. But I'll admit if it was like, an ex-girlfriend or something and it was a seriously intense hug, I might. Is there something that happened in your past you hate talking about? Yes, but I mean, who doesn't. Have you ever been completely alone with a boy in his room? You make this sound so scandalous lmao. Yes, plenty of times. I dated a dude and briefly lived with him for three and a half years. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? No. Who was the last person that you cried in front of? I'm sure it was Mom. Is it hard for you to be “just friends” with the opposite sex? Nah. Do you remember every single person that you’ve kissed? Yeah. Do you believe that the world will actually end? Humanity, oh yeah. The planet itself, given the infinite nature of the universe, also yes. At SOME point, even if it's zillions of years down the line, Earth is gonna get fucked by something. Are you socially awkward? I am the literal avatar of "socially awkward." Would you rather watch a comedy movie or horror movie? Horror. Who is your favorite actor/actress? MARK IS A FUCKIN' ACTOR, Y'ALL. Are you satisfied with your gender? Yeah. Are you good at admitting your problems? HA! Yeah. ezpz Have you ever had a hangover? No, never been drunk to begin with. Do you know any strippers? No. How many times have you dyed your hair? I ain't counting. What is something that reminds you of your childhood? Dinosaurs. Do you think you eat healthy? I try to. I have my bad days, though. Are you sick quite often or hardly at all? My immune system is the fucking MVP. I am just about never, ever sick. Has anyone suspected you of being a different sexuality? Yes. Do you like chocolate or vanilla cake more? Chocolate, duh. Does it bother you to have blood drawn or not so much? Nah, no biggie. Has your cell phone ever rung in class? Omg no, I woulda been mortified. Have you ever tried opening your eyes under water? Yeah, as a kid. Would you rather have a cat or a dog? I prefer cats. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? Like... six times, I wanna say. What would you say is your favorite type of flower? Orchids, but I also love dahlias. I've actually noticed that I've really had a greater "thing" for flowers lately. Like don't get me wrong, I've always loved flowers very much, but I've just found myself more drawn to them than usual, especially when taking the daily hour ride to the TMS office. Do you watch Toddlers and Tiaras? FUCK no. That show disgusts and angers me so much. If someone asked you to go to war today, what would you say? Yeah, no. Funny joke. I couldn't go anyway due to mental health issues and a suicidal history. Do you own an old vintage typewriter? We used to when I was little. I have no idea what happened to it, though?? Hell, maybe we still have it somewhere, but I doubt that. Do you like or hate the smell of fish? Ew, does ANYONE like the smell of fish??? Have you ever read any of John Green’s books? I got a few pages into The Fault in Our Stars, but stopped for no real reason. I didn't not like it or anything, I was just still in my "I don't read" episode. Are you a protective person? VERY. I'm a fucking guard dog over those I love most. Are you a fan of penguins? Yeah, they're cute. I especially think emperor penguins are very majestic. Have you ever met your favorite author? I don’t have a favorite author. Did you get your mom or dad’s eyes? Neither's. I think my maternal grandpa had blue eyes, though? I'm not sure at all, though. When was the last time someone bought you flowers? Not sure. Has there ever been a murder in your town? "A" murder? Thems is rookie numbers for my neck of the woods, fella. This place is known for crime, and that includes murder. When falling asleep, do you ever feel like you stopped breathing? Well, I have seriously severe sleep apnea, so... but the diagnosis came as a surprise to me, because I never DID think this. But sure enough, did a sleep study, and in just one hour's time, I stopped breathing like what, 30 times? What's the last thing that scared the hell out of you? Stupid drivers. Do you have any life-changing plans within the next 6 months? I guess getting a job could be pretty life-changing. As of right now, how do you feel about your future? I'm very, very scared. Who is the last person you ran into unexpectedly? Hm, I dunno. Where does your grandma live? Both of mine are dead, but my paternal grandmother lived in Michigan, while my maternal one technically lived in Florida, but stayed in New York with her son's family a whole lot. I don't really know where she stayed more. Do you know how to read music? Not anymore. Does the song you’re currently listening to remind you of anyone special? Not so much the song, but the band. Motionless In White is one of his all-time favorites, so I can't listen to them without thinking of Jason. Sucks because they've been becoming one of MY favorites, too, so I listen to them a lot. If the person who has hurt you the most, said they were in love with you, would you believe them? I'd tell him he was in a love with a person who no longer exists. It's impossible for him to be in love with me now when he doesn't know how much I've changed. If Facebook made you pay would you still use it? Ha, no. Have you ever been recorded on film without your permission? Not that I know of? Tell me about your last boyfriend? He's a wonderful person. He's been there for me without fail since we became friends in high school band, and he is SO fucking funny. He's always cared a lot about me, and I care a lot about him, just not in the same way he does me. He's like my big brother. Are your parents racist? My dad definitely is. What is your least favorite subject in school? Math and economics both sucked. Have you ever been involved in a custody battle before? Almost certain no. I'm pretty sure Dad didn't fight for custody at all, but it could've been something Mom just never told me. Have you ever babysat a newborn baby before? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I NEVER could. Do you have any siblings you neglect? .-. As a kid, did you ever go to camp? I went to Vacation Bible School, if that counts. Did your parents ever let you play in the pits of those multicolored balls? Yeah, until that big news story about a dirty needle pricking a child. Have any of your siblings ever had a crush on your significant other? Not to my knowledge. I highly doubt it. What do you usually order at Taco Bell, if you go there? Cheese quesadilla with fiesta potatoes. Rarely a pair of those cinnamon ball thingies. Ever consider a sex change? Nah. Do you eat whip cream straight out of the can? EW no. I hate the texture of whipped cream. What do you think of popcorn? Loooove. Have you ever dated any of your friends’ ex? No. Well, it's funny, Rachel (both Juan's and Jason's ex) and I are friends now, but definitely weren't at the time of us being together. Have you ever gone out with someone even though one of your friends liked that person first? If yes, did you feel bad? If no, were you tempted to? No. Would you rather be a rich musician, or a rich actor? Musician. What was the last charity you donated to? I don't recall. Did you like to collect frogspawn as a kid? I've told the "my friends and I saved hundreds of tadpoles" story enough times, so for this question, I'll just talk about when I would go fishing with Dad as a kid. Back then, if I got bored of actually fishing, I would walk along the riverbank and try to catch tadpoles and minnows in my hands. It was soooo fun to Kid Brittany. Do you walk fast or slow? I walk pretty damn slow. Can you juggle with more than two items? I can't juggle, period. Do you like jalapenos? Yeah! Do you like kiwis? Yessss, I love kiwi! Does anyone in your family go deer or bird hunting? Who is it anyway? I don't know if she still does, but my little sister used to go deer hunting with a friend.

Are you saving up for anything right now? What? Yeah, my pet snake's 40 gallon terrarium. What sort of things do you have bookmarked in your internet browser? It's quite diverse, but I think I mostly have templates for specific character profiles. Have you ever snuck in to a theater/dance/bar etc? No, I'm a good noodle. If given the chance, would you go to Ireland? Certainly! It's beautiful there. If you have a cat, does it ever “converse” with you? Oh, ABSOLUTELY. When I talk to him, he sure does try to answer me and it's the cutest thing, ha ha. Have you ever tried those electric toothbrushes? Yeah, that’s what I use. Has anyone told you that they wanted to marry you/were planning on it/etc? Yeah, guess he changed his mind. Name one of your ex’s mother’s names? Virginia. Does your favorite song have a meaning? BIG TIME. Have you ever written or received a suicide note? I've written one. .-. What is the worst thing a child has ever done to you while you were babysitting? When I was changing her diaper, she got up and ran around naked in the house. ;-; Do you own a nightgown? No. If you could get any pet right now, what would you get? i. want. my. tarantula. Have you ever actually been stuffed into a locker? No. That is just such a TV trope that I've never even heard of happening irl. Do you/did you decorate the inside of your locker at school with stuff? I only had a locker in middle school, and I believe I didn't. I didn't want one in HS. What’s the coolest thing you’ve made with Legos? I was never a Legos kid; I played with Lincoln Logs. Do you want to get pregnant right now? Fuck no, man. Or ever. Have you ever housed a friend for a long period of time because they had no place to live? No. If you have a favorite comedian, have they ever been in a movie? I don't have one, really. Are there any books you want to read? Besides the series I'm reading, I want to read The Testaments by Margaret Atwood, but idk if I'll ever get to it, really. If you have younger siblings, are you very protective of them? We don't have a close relationship, but I am nevertheless. If you have older siblings, are they very protective of you? Not really, it seems. First letter of the names of everyone you have kissed? J, T, D, S. Do you like going to school sports games? No, I hated it. When Ash was a cheerleader, Mom made me go, and I was never happy about it. Have you ever worn your boyfriend’s clothes? An ex-boyfriend's, yeah. Did you get into your mom’s makeup when you were a kid? I don't think I did? Do you want anything pierced? Ugh, a lot of places. The last time you washed your hair, did you use conditioner? I never do. Has your partner ever accused you of cheating when you actually didn’t? I've never been accused of cheating. Has anyone ever called you stuck-up? No. I'm quite the opposite. Have you been diagnosed with any mental disorders? Too many, really. What are you doing this summer? Nada. Do you still watch MTV? I never did. Have you ever spent the night with the last person you kissed? Yes. What’s the dress code for your job? Do you like it? I'm unemployed. Does your job allow piercings or tattoos? ^, and this might sound stupid, but I wouldn't work at a job that didn't. Especially tattoos. No job is stopping me from doing things that improve my self-esteem and body image, particularly when I LOATHE my body. If a little bit of art makes me feel better about myself? Nobody is stopping me. What are some trends you dislike that everyone seems to love? "Crocs. Whyyyy?" <<<< THIS. First people hated them, now they love them??? They're hideous as shit. If you got married and then got divorced, would you want to re-marry? I don't really know. How often do you use lotion? Not NEARLY enough for someone with skin as dry as mine. Do you donate your old stuff to Goodwill? If so, what was the last thing you donated? Yeah. Mom recently brought some old toys, I think? How weight conscious are you? You have no fucking idea. Rent a movie or go see one in theaters? I prefer going to a theater. I enjoy the experience. What’s the biggest personality trait turn-off for a potential partner? Probably being an explosive/volatile person. I can't with that. Would you ever go on a birth control pill? I already am to regulate my period and tame the cramps. And if I was sexually active, I absolutely would want to be on it. What's your favorite late night tv show? I don’t have one. At high school do or did you participate in Spirit Week? No. Do you have a favorite vocalist? Who? Queen's Freddie Mercury will probably always top the list. If you have a favorite photographer, can you describe their work? I don't have a favorite photographer. Surprisingly. Are sex and sexual activities something you enjoy? If it's with someone I'm in love with and am in the mood, sure. What is one aspect of your life that did not turn out as you expected? I did NOT expect to reach 25 like... *gestures at self* this. What is one thing stopping you from becoming a veterinarian? I could never handle euthanizing pets and watching the families' hearts break. How long have you lived in the house you live in? Not even a year. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder? I'm definitely sadder. Especially today. Do you like Subway? I do. Have you ever seen a volcano? No. Have you ever found a spider on your bed? Yes. It's the scariest shit when one skitters across your blanket, because like, you LEAST expect it to happen in the comfort of your own bed. Are you satisfied with the way your life is right now? Not even remotely, if I'm being honest. I'm at a real low. When was the last time you ate at Burger King? Years ago, when I was a vegetarian and went there for the veggie burger. How often do you cry? lol a lot Ever had a crush on a teacher? No. Can you wire a plug? ... I don't even know what you mean by "wire a plug," so obviously no lmfao. Where were you when you got your first period? Well I think I actually *started* at school, but I noticed when I got home. Can you drive? I mean I'm capable, but I'm an incredibly anxious, overly passive, and just generally terrified driver. I'm so scared of when I finally get new glasses and therefore a new permit... but I have to get used to driving. Living where I do, public transportation is very, very limited, and I just can't have people driving me places the rest of my life. Exercise or healthy eating? I sadly hate exercising SO much. I'd rather eat healthy. Did you play Red Rover when you were a child? Yeah. Are you more attracted to men or women? This can actually vary with time, which I originally thought was weird but is apparently normal for some bisexual individuals. There are spans where I feel more sexual attraction to men, and then other times women. Has anyone ever called you rich? God no, I am so far from it. What makes you feel beautiful? Nothing. Are you considered a very sensitive person? I'm way too sensitive for my own good. Have you ever told someone you never wanted to speak to them again? Yes, my dad. I regret that letter I sent him so, so much. I honestly don't know how he can treat me with so much love after the shit I said. If you could watch any TV series right now, what would it be? I am... astonishingly behind on Meerkat Manor: Rise of the Dynasty. I know, seriously incredible. I just don't watch TV, man. It's strange, I'm into the show, of course I am, I just... don't like sitting myself in front of a television and purely watching it. I'll catch up, though. Do you grind your teeth, and if so, why do you do it? No. But it's not like people have a reason they grind their teeth... they just do. Do you feel the need to rant about anything right now? If so, go for it. I could, but I'm not going to. It'll just upset me. Do you have a friend named Nick? What’s his favourite food? My sister's husband's name is Nick, but he is definitely not my friend. I can't stand his bigoted, sexist, misogynistic, homophobic, racist ass. I don't know or care what his favorite food is. What are you listening to? I'm re-watching Gab and Sinow play Resident Evil 5. People can say all they want about RE5, but I love it. Do you prefer waffles or pancakes? Waffles, but only if they're still soft enough to not be considered crunchy. I prefer them because I can put peanut butter on them, and the grooves catch the syrup instead of just absorbing it all like pancakes. Do you prefer non-diet or diet soda? I don't/can't drink diet sodas because the artificial sweetener gives me a KILLER headache. Are you craving anything right now? You guys have no idea how badly I want Taco Bell for whatever reason. Which word did you say first, mama or dada? The latter. What was your first pet’s name? So, there's three answers to this. I was born into the family while we had a collie named Trigger, but I have absolutely zero memory of her. She passed when I was too young. Our first family pet that I clearly remember was Chance, our rescued cat. My first *personal* pet was either a guinea pig named Squeak or Chinese water dragon named Shadow. I can't remember who came first. Who was your best friend in elementary? It changed with the years, but I can say the three biggies were Brianna, Kim, and Quiata. Who was your favorite teacher in high school? Probably Coach Collie. He was so wise, kind, funny... He was all-around just wonderful and taught so many life lessons. When you go to a restaurant, do you have a go-to dish? Always. What is the best part of your most ordinary day? Waking up and doing my first sweep of the Internet before I get bored outta my fucking senses. Do you read any web comics? No.

Do you drink bottled water? Yeah, but like any water, it has to be COLD. Not room temperature. Not a tad chilly. I mean cooooold. When did you last use a straw? Earlier. I have a metal straw I use to drink water with because I drink faster through a straw, and with it being water, of course I want to try to drink as much as I can when I actually choose to drink water. Have you ever tackled someone to the ground? No. Do you know anyone who lies to make themselves look more interesting? My former best friend did that. She was an online friend, so it made it easy. I finally caught on and called her out on it, and then she just totally dipped. Do you like to sing? Not that much, honestly. Like sometimes I feel like it, sure, but not frequently. Are your parents in good health? No, not really. Have you ever been a caregiver to a sick/disabled relative? No. I feel bad saying it, but I know I never could be. I could NOT clean another human being. It's one of the bajillion reasons I'm not having kids. Do you like to take naps during the day? "Like" isn't the right word. I just... need to. Most days, there is NO way I can make it 'til night without one. What movie was your favorite to see in the movie theater? Even though it was sincerely a sucky movie, I really enjoyed watching Silent Hill: Revelation because I saw the 3D version, plus the hype over my favorite franchise getting a new movie was just very exciting. Favorite Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle character? I was never into that. Ever watched The Blair Witch Project? Yes, and I positively adore it. I genuinely think it's a genius horror movie, never showing, but telling through other methods. Have a favorite AC/DC song? Probably "You Shook Me All Night Long." Are you good at selling candy for those fundraiser things? Omg nooooo I HATED doing that shit, especially when some amount of sales were like, required for whatever bullshit reason. I hate hate hate advertising to people. My parents always bought them instead. Have you ever had a crush on someone too old for you? No. Well, besides James Hetfield, ha ha. What's your favorite Dr. Suess quote? I don't know enough quotes to have one. If you were to have wings, what would you want them to look like? Dark and dragon-esque with lots of rips and tears in them... but not enough to stop me from flying, ha ha. Have you ever broken up with someone to find you want them back later? No. Has anyone ever dared you to eat a chili pepper? Did you do it? No. Have you ever tried Thai food? No. Have you ever watched Avatar? The TV show, not the movie. I've seen I think one season with Sara so far? I actually quite enjoy it. What's your cellphone's signature for text? WOW this survey is ancient. If you smoke marijuana, what is your preferred or typical method? I don't smoke it. Do you often take painkillers? I dunno about "often," but headaches to the point I take something aren't rare for me. Do you wish you were in a relationship? I mean yes, but I know it's for the better I'm not. Have you ever been to the ER? Many times. Do you ever feel guilty eating meat? I feel extremely guilty. I try not to think about it. Where have you lived for the most part of your life? Eastern NC. How old are you? 25. What are you listening to at the moment? Powerwolf came out with a new album, so I've been bingeing the shit out of some songs, ha ha. Right now it's "Blood For Blood." Do you watch WWE Raw? Ew, no. I have NEVER gotten the appeal of wrestling. Just like... why????? Do you dye your hair? Nowhere near regularly. :/ I haven't had it dyed in a very long time, and I hate it. I love colored hair. We just can't afford that expense on something so little. My hair does NOT take dye easily, so we have to have a professional do it, and that isn't exactly cheap. Have you ever lived in a different country that the one you’re living in? No. Which of your parents will you see next? I live with my mother, so. Have you fallen asleep in school? Not in class, no. In college when I would be in the library between classes, though, I've dozed before. Have you ever been hospitalized? Yes, but not for physical issues. Do you make fun of obese people? You're talking to someone who is. So obviously no, and you're a piece of fucking shit if you do. Do you have an innie or an outtie? Innie. Have you ever tried to headbang? No. Even as a metalhead, I don't get it, man. You're asking for a headache. Do you own any Converse? What do you think of them? I have a few and like them. Have you ever started a rumor? No. Have you ever been in a position of authority? I mean, I'm an admin on two sites, so I guess? Were your ancestors royalty? Yeah, I'm related to one of the Queen Victorias, I believe. I just know she had a thing for beheading people, ha ha. What do you like on your pasta/noodles? Sauce, butter, grated cheese, etc.? Just tomato sauce and meatballs, really. Who is the most ungrateful person you know? What makes them this way? My fucking ex-best friend. You could never, ever give her enough and she just... blegh. She was so fucking ungrateful for everything people did for her. It was just never enough. Do you like cherry Pepsi? I like cherry Coke. I don't like Pepsi. Have you ever held an uncommon pet before (ex: mouse, spider, snake, lizard)? I've held snakes, rats, lizards, and a tarantula. Who did you last play truth or dare with? No clue. Have you ever camped out somewhere for an event the next day? No. When were you the saddest in your life? 2016. Do you know anyone, personally, who is in an abusive relationship? Are you? No. If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you? Yeah, they've moved out. What was the most unique pet you’ve owned? I'd probably say my champagne ball python. A lot of people don't even know ball python morphs exist, so seeing her might surprise some people. Do you like Doritos? Yeah. When you buy clothes, do you always try them on first? No, but I need to learn how to... I just HATE doing it. Have you used bugspray recently? No. Do you enjoy swimming in the ocean? Yesssss. Have you ever tried to sew or knit anything? No. Has something ever happened to you that seemed like it was from a movie? Most of Jason's and my relationship felt like one. Hence why the breakup felt so sudden and just impossible. Do you find yourself to be a believer in love at first sight? Not even remotely. Is there something you want to do, that you swear you will, no matter what? Spread Teddy's ashes in Yellowstone. I promised him. Are you longing for the day that you’ll be an adult? (If you’re not already) I am an adult, and it sucks. What’s something you’ve vowed to never eat? Any meat that was hunted. Have you ever owned a diary/journal with a lock and key? I don't believe so. When you were little, what movie did you watch over and over? Mostly Disney films, like The Lion King and Finding Nemo. Are you deathly allergic to anything? No. Do you know what you want for your dream house? Nope. I honestly don't really care about having a "dream" house to begin with. I just need one that's cozy to me and gets the job done. Have you ever seen the movie The Notebook? Many, many times. It's my favorite romance movie. Have you ever used the photo editing site “Picnik”? No, not to my memory. Has an animal ever taken a strong dislike to you? Our old dog Bentley didn't like me all that much, and I didn't like him, either. Have you ever attempted to cut your own hair? No. Do you have a lucky or special coin? No. Do you love ice cream cake more than normal cake? No. Do you check your email daily? No. Is there anyone you know who’s in any way paralyzed? No. For you, do you commonly feel more jealousy or envy? Envy. Do you rely on the heads/tails flipping of a coin sometimes for decisions? No. Has a laptop ever burned your legs? Yes, actually. For a while many years ago, my old laptop left subtle burn marks on my legs. Anyone’s birthday coming up soon? My nephew's is next month. Do you like Laffy Taffy? I doooo. Are your biceps at all noticeable? Ha, no. Have you ever seen a walrus? Maybe when I went to SeaWorld as a kid? Did you ever have one of those easy bake ovens as a kid? Yup. If given the opportunity, would you ride on a camel? Sure. What flavor cake do you like for your birthday? Red velvet. Have you ever had a job you loved? Nope. Have you ever been in a building that was on fire? Yikes, no. Have you ever written a poem for someone? Two people. Have you been best friends with someone of a different race? Yes. Who is the person you are closest to that you’ve met online? Sara. What was the name of the first porcelain doll you got? I was very afraid of dolls as a kid, so I obviously didn't have one. Do you sell any products? If so, what? I mean, I'm a wannabe photographer that sells my service. Owls or peacocks? Owls. Lions or horses? Lions. Can you still fit into kid’s clothes? Hell no. What devotional do you read, if any? None. What do you make wishes on? I only ever do for the tradition of it on my birthday. I don't believe in the magic of wishes, though. Have you ever made a recipe you found in a magazine? No. Are you bitter about anything? Probably always will be. Have you ever been in a love triangle? No. How bad are your hangovers? Never had one. Have you ever broken a bone? If so, what was the cause of it? Yes. It was identified as a fracture, but a break and a fracture are technically like the same thing, so. At a skating rink, I fell and landed on my hand so the top of it nearly touched my arm, so my wrist got FUCKED. I will never, ever forget the severity of the pins and needles feeling and just the experience in general. It hurt so goddamn bad. Is this the best year of your life? Fuck no.

#in other words i don't feel like thinking up song lyrics for three surveys at once lmao #survey #surveys #random questions

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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What was the most unsettling film you’ve seen? Unsettling films are my jam, man. To name a few, there’s Eraserhead, Room, Midsommar, Eyes Wide Shut, Misery, and most recently, I’m Thinking of Ending Things. Eraserhead takes the cake though. That movie always makes me queasy...

What unethical experiment would have the biggest positive impact on society as a whole? I’m a firm believer in nothing good ever comes out of unethical practices. I’ll never forget reading about an experiment where a group of newborn babies were given basic needs like food and being bathed, but weren’t shown any affection whatsoever and it was meant to see if humans can survive with just the most basic physiological needs. By the end of the experiment period half of the babies were dead. The results were honestly a lot bleaker than how I’ve put it, but I don’t wanna be a downer lol. Suffice it to say that experiment haunted me for days after reading it.

When was the last time you were snooping, and found something you wish you hadn’t? It was around a week or so ago, I’m pretty sure.

Which celebrity or band has the worst fan base? My sister is into K-pop and I hear insights from her all the time, but her one constant is that BTS breeds the most annoying, toxic fans. I’d have to agree. Ariana Grande’s fandom was also annoying at one point, but I haven’t heard much from them making a mess these days.

What are you interested in that most people aren’t? Autobiographies.

If you were given a PhD degree, but had no more knowledge of the subject of the degree besides what you have now, what degree would you want to be given to you? Why would I deserve a PhD on something I’m clearly not qualified for...I’m not sure I’m following this question right, but I don’t feel like thinking too hard about it.

What smartphone feature would you actually be excited for a company to implement? I’m happy with the features that are widespread now, but I wish companies adhere more to countries other than the common ones like US, UK, Australia, etc. I always see ads about phones being able to tell you how much movie tickets cost or track boarding passes, but those are all irrelevant here. It makes a lot of Apple’s basic apps useless on this side of the world haha.

What’s something people don’t worry about but really should? Long-term effects of poor habits like not getting enough sleep or drinking too many cups of coffee. I know because I’m guilty of this.

What movie quotes do you use on a regular basis? “I won’t think about that now, I’ll think about it tomorrow,” but I usually say it to myself, especially when I feel stressed.

Do you think that children born today will have better or worse lives than their parents? Better, but idk if that’s just me being biased because my generation will be the next parents lol. I just think that a lot of Gen X parents still have a lot of dated prejudices and mindsets that my generation was able to learn better from. For example my mom doesn’t like using people’s preferred names, especially if they’ve transitioned -_____- and I know I’d never want to set such an example for my kids.

What’s the funniest joke you know by heart? I know I’ve come across hilarious ones but I always fail to come up with one when asked on the spot.

When was the last time you felt you had a new lease on life? LOL RIGHT NOW

What’s the funniest actual name you’ve heard of someone having? It’s more stupid than funny and I know I’ve already mentioned this before, but Covid Bryant as a first and second name still takes the cake for me. My sister went to school with a girl whose name is just her surname backwards, and for a time I was really weirded out by it. But in the times I’ve seen her she really owns her name and never looks bothered by it, so I quickly stopped caring.

Which charity or charitable cause is most deserving of money? For me it would have to be organizations for animal welfare.

What TV show character would it be the most fun to change places with for a week? Post-El Camino Jesse Pinkman. I wouldn’t want to live through his chaotic shit from Breaking Bad, but his fate after El Camino is something I’m super envious of.

What was cool when you were young but isn’t cool now? Flip phones, Blackberry phones, Roshes, Frappuccinos.

If you were moving to another country, but could only pack one carry-on sized bag, what would you pack? Phone, laptop, their chargers, important IDs, some of my favorite tops and jeans, underwear, essential toiletries, wallet, a family photo, a journal and pen, earphones, certain knickknacks to remember Gab and my dogs by. Minus the clothes, all of these are pretty tiny so I think these would all fit in the bag just fine.

What’s the most ironic thing you’ve seen happen? I don’t know. I’m not really a fan of rating the most/worst this and that stuff in my life, either. I feel like I unnecessarily rack my brain too hard for them when I take surveys to have a chill time.

If magic was real, what spell would you try to learn first? Probably something that’d keep my dogs from dying.

If you were a ghost and could possess people, what would you make them do? No thanks. I’d be the chillest ghost tbh, I’d like to just sneak up on people’s business and hang out but never interfere in them.

What goal do you think humanity is not focused enough on achieving? Climate change, global warming, alleviation of poverty. Corporations and the few people who actually have the power and money to change things only ever come up with short-term shit like donations and never look at the big picture. What problem are you currently grappling with? So many personal ones. But just like the recurring theme of my surveys so far, “I don’t want to get into it.”

What character in a movie could have been great, but the actor they cast didn’t fit the role? As much as I love Kristen Stewart, I heard she was cast as Princess Diana for an upcoming film and I’m not really feeling that decision. They could’ve gone with a British actress for starters?????? The movie is still in production but it is pretty annoying to think about lmao.

What game have you spent the most hours playing? Probably GTA: San Andreas as a kid.

What’s the most comfortable bed or chair you’ve ever been in? Luxury hotel beds are always so fluffy and comfortable.

What’s the craziest conversation you’ve overheard? Omg one time at a coffee shop Gabie and I sat beside this older couple that obviously was going through some heavy SHIT. There was a lot of animosity and tension between them and I caught the lady silently break into tears a few times. I never overheard anything but then again they sat in silence for hours until the lady finally walked out on him. Never knew what it was about but I’ve always guessed that the man did something crappy, like cheat, and was discovered. It was a really sad sight and a crazy situation to witness and I think I felt even more sorry because they were obviously in their 50s or 60s. I hope the woman is in a better place now as she looked rough as fuck that evening.

What’s the hardest you’ve ever worked? I wore a lot of hats when I was in my college org, and that was on top of balancing my acads as well.

What movie, picture, or video always makes you laugh no matter how often you watch it? That scene from Friends where Ross plays the keyboard for Chandler, Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel.

What artist or band do you always recommend when someone asks for a music recommendation? It depends on what music they’re into and if I have actually have a recommendation in mind for them. I obviously can’t suggest Paramore to someone who mainly listens to metal.

If you could have an all-expenses paid trip to see any famous world monument, which monument would you choose? I’m down for any monuments that are super ancient like Stonehenge or the Pyramids of Giza.

If animals could talk, which animal would be the most annoying? I’d go with frogs, but only because they get annoyingly loud in the evening.

What’s the most addicted to a game you’ve ever been? Playing The Sims, Mario Kart, Rock Band, or games in the Burnout franchise.

What’s the coldest you’ve ever been? Japan was so fucking cold when I was there. Didn’t do my research and ended up being dressed poorly, and I was so cold I could barely talk to my parents or fully enjoy my time. Sagada was also nearly unbearable in the early morning.

Which protagonist from a book or movie would make the worst roommate? Not from a book or movie, but BoJack Horseman. Diane can also be in the running as I always found her too whiny. I get that she had her personal shit to deal with, but I don’t think living with her would be good for my own sanity and mental health.

Do you eat food that’s past its expiration date if it still smells and looks fine? It annoys my chef dad to death that I don’t lol. No matter how great it looks, I’d bounce. I once ate expired Kit Kats that tasted like cardboard and that scared me off of expired food forever.

What’s the most ridiculous thing you have bought? I once bought a stupid novelty soap that to this day I’ve never even opened. It’s in one of my drawers, and I plan to just throw it out at some point.

What’s the funniest comedy skit you’ve seen? Not a fan of these but one that got to me is Dear Sister from SNL.

What’s the most depressing meal you’ve eaten? A few years ago there was a local breakfast place that offered red velvet pancakes for a limited time and I was all over that crap, so I went and ordered. The actual pancakes ended up not being any bigger than my palm, and I remember not being able to hide my disappointment once the server placed the dish on my table haha. I felt so scammed. I had to order something else to feel full, because those pancakes were stupidly small.

What tips or tricks have you picked up from your job/jobs? One of my superiors, when she was presenting a pitch to our director yesterday, kept asking questions and picking at the director’s brain so that she can get suggestions and answers straight from the director herself and so that she didn’t have to do any brainstorming anymore. I thought that was a pretty nifty and clever hack.

What outdoor activity haven’t you tried, but would like to? Hiking a mountain!

What songs hit you with a wave of nostalgia every time you hear them? Umbrella by Rihanna feat. Jay-Z.

What’s the worst backhanded compliment you could give someone? Idk, anything can be the worst depending on the context. I’m not a fan of giving those, though.

What’s the most interesting documentary you’ve ever watched? Unsolved Mysteries’ Dupont de Ligonnès episode was a lot of fun to watch.

What was the last song you sang along to? I think it was Thinking of You by Katy Perry? but I’m not entirely sure. I haven’t sung along to anything in a while.

What app can you not believe someone hasn’t made yet? I don’t really download and use a lot of apps other than the basic ones, so I don’t care too much.

When was the last time you face palmed? Last night.

If you were given five million dollars to open a small museum, what kind of museum would you create? I’d give it away to the Martial Law museum currently being made near my university so that it can do more to show the atrocities of the Marcoses. And so that I can piss off my pro-Marcos relatives.

Which of your vices or bad habits would be the hardest to give up? Uh hating myself, if that counts.

What really needs to be modernized? Public transportation systems in this country.

#survey #surveys

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awkward-bakugou · 6 years

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Bnha characters as vines

Aoyama

- work it, work it, work it, fierce - "you don't need to wear makeup bskdhensn" I don't have to wipe my ass either but it is a preference of mine - I am a comet not a star - this bitch called me ugly I said bitch where she said under all that makeup BITCH WHERE - y'all ugly - oh girl let me give you a kiss - you look like a burnt garbanzo bean - you are ugly and I am not, I am the princess and you are the thot - I don't sing in the shower, I perform

Mina

- right in front of my salad - am I a womfn - I'm bringing awesome back - welcome to bath and body works - I'm a chicken nugget - I'm renata bliss and I'm your freestyle dance teacher - sitting on the toilet and I had to make a doody when the doody hit the water the water hit my booty do do do do

Tsuyu

- Kermit singing usher

Iida

- no kevin, it's about nutmeg - look at this graph - I'm not really interested in being like the cool kids - that is not correct because according to the encyclopedia of spsjwlahdbrj - there's only one race, the human race WhAt AbOuT nAsCaR

Uraraka

- I just have these freezable fruit shapes - are they helium balloons

Ojiro

- defense against a guy in a chair

Kaminari

- catch me on cbs - that's not how you eat a banana - it's me, the cheese bandit - I can't tie my shoes but I can fuck your bitch - what the fuck is a chonce - vitamin c is spanish for vitamin yes - what's wrong with sticky nut juice - I'm just cooking pizza - dean stop you look like a nazi - haha hey, it's ya boi, uh, skinny penis - yes, she is a bitch, B-I-C-T-H - jokes on you, the jonas brothers can't break up they're bROTHERS - road work ahead? uh yeah, I sure hope it does - name a yellow fruit... orange - perhaps suck my ass can be our always - it's fuck yeah friday

Kirishima

- baloney fudge and mustard - attention shoppers, my dick is hard - siri what's my name - back at it again at krispy kreme

Koda

- is that a real dog

Sato

- I dropped my hot pocket - would anyone like some stew

Jirou

- we can clearly see that somebody got me fucked up - she just favorited one of my tweets - courtney there's no candy in there

Sero

- screw you jake - put your middle fingers up if you don't give a fuck - I don't feel like driving anymore - sorry it's my mom I have to take this - say colorado I'M A GIRAFFE - ask me what kind of tree I have

Tokoyami

- look, it's freaking bats, I love halloween - billy, your grandma's here

Todoroki

-everybody gets tired but specifically today I'm just tired of you - hey buddy, your grades are slipping, what's up with that - and just remember that no one can hate you more than you already hate yourself - release all of the sounds that are trapped in your mind - you're in time out, get on top of the fridge - we all die you either kill yourself or get killed - can I please get a waffle

Hagakure

- that one vine where the girl keeps getting pushed over cause no one fucking sees her - I think I know more about american girl dolls than you do genius

Bakugou

- like a good neighbor all state is there - I wanna fight kindergarteners - bitch gon step on my fucking toe bitch with the fucking cowgirl fucking boots bitch disgusting - kevin watch the light dude - you remember that one time I liked you - kitchen gun - fuck ya chicken strips - next time you fucking put your hands on me imma fucking rip your face off bitch - so no head? - yogurt is just fruit sperm and I'm not gay - bitch you better stop - give me yo fucking money

Midoriya

- have you ever had a dream so... that you, um... you'd... you... - excuse my potty mouth - you goof gary, you did it again - hey, I think you're really cool, I like you a lot, maybe we can hang out or something - some may call it stange, some may call it ugly, I don't really care cause I got a hat made of broccoli - there's a mushroom on your shirt

Mineta

- today we're doing a product review on the new gameboy - guess what, the girls still want me - I'm allergic to my own goddamn dick - all these ghosts and I still can't find a boo - if I had a penny for every time I wasn't cool, I'd have no pennies - oh hi thanks for checking in I'm still a piece of garbage - on all levels except physical, I am a wolf - hey you, yes you, I want to fuck your ass - the world is burning, let's masturbate - my name's trevor, what's yours

Momo

- slow down, grab you bible, pray like you're tryna make a soul revival, praise the lord

Monoma

- you're all going to hell, goodbye - when the barber accidentally gives you a bowl cut, what're you gonna do? I'm gonna kill the barber - i love you too you little betch - fuck off janet, I'm not going to your fucking baby shower - my main goal is to blow up and then act like i don't know nobody - rachel is so annoying - let's mcfreaking lose it - have you ever heard the sound of a rubber ball breaking a window - hey pal did you just roll in from stupid town

Shinsou

- hey, how you doing well I'm doing just fine I lied in dying inside - the stress relief cream vine - I don't need friends they disappoint me - hi, I'm attorney doug, have you or a loved one been injured in an accident? sucks to be you I guess - the nothing matters stuffed rabbit vine - I made a hat that's powered by sadness - is the wendy's alright

Amajiki

- well it's been a good day, can't wait for tomorrow - my name's derrik, let me guess, pizza

Present Mic

- bruno mars screaming voiceover vine - SKITTLESSSSSSS - good credit bad credit no credit no problem, if you dead fuck it ghost credit - this video is sponsored by vaprino anti diarrhea medicine, is your poopy too soupy? I think I swallowed a nickel... - michael with a b - it is wednesday my dudes

Aizawa

- today, we're watching the liberal propaganda film about an illegal gay muslim, it's called Aladdin - it's vinegar pussy - why don't we just relax and turn on the radio, would you like AM or FM - whoever threw that paper, your mom's a hoe - the best part of waking up is going back to sleep

All Might

- diet coke addiction - hi my name is failure and you're watching my life crumble to pieces

Eri

- oh my god sylvia it's gonna eat you

Camie

- I thought you were bae, turns out you were just fam - sabra gives you all your daily nutrients like zero grams of trans fat and OH MY GOD CHOLESTEROL - how do you not have a cell phone, it's 2015... Harry she's 5 -

Mitsuki

- bitch I hope the fuck you do you'll be a dead son of a bitch I tell you that

Dabi

- because you didn't use neosporin

Shigaraki

- I don't like whiskey it burns my mouth - want penis enlargement pills

Toga

- this is how I enter my house - I don't need no degree to be a clothing hanger

I spent fucking days on this be proud

#not bakugou #i mean its kinda bakugou #just a little tho #class 1a #vines #im really tired #i spent like two hours typing this

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afanoftheglassscientists · 5 years

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The Glass Scientist Sunday Predictions

I was planning on finishing something yesterday, but then I ended up spending two hours walking around downtown, walking fast, faces pass and I’m home bound because these next few weeks me and my family have a lot of events happening. Don’t worry its nothing too serious, but it just keeps me away from my computer. But even if the sun disappears and the sea floats into the sky I can still get in my predictions for tomorrow's page.

Last Monday’s page saw the return of the “Search for Hyde” club. It looks like Jasper’s not with them, but he’s yet to be really concerned about Hyde and is probably busy getting his presentation together. Plus if he was there he might have figured out how Lanyon got the page and be like “Wait did you steal Henry’s Will while he was sharing his admiration of you with me?” and Lanyon might have to phase through the wall and disappear. Then again, Jasper could still be there, just waaaay in the back where he’s not bothering anyone. He can be very polite when he wants to be you know.

Now Lucy, in her outfit that make my heart beat faster than a speeding train through a tunnel, mentioned that there’s been complications. What are those complications? Lets figure that out.

Tomorrows Page Predictions (Ch. 8, Pg. 2)

What Are These Complications?

Hyde’s may have skipped town - the reason why Lucy’s girls can’t find him is because Hyde’s out of her girls’ range, meaning she and the “Search for Hyde” club need to figure out where outside of London Hyde would go.

Hyde has no past - Lucy can’t find anything about Hyde previous to two years ago. She can’t any family or friends to family period, and any friends, friends with benefits, brawl mates and disgruntled bar owners Hyde know all met Hyde in past two years. She can’t find anyone who knew Hyde previously. She can’t even find out where he came from if not from London. That’s...concerning.

Hyde...is a VAMPIRE!? - Okay I’m joking Hyde would have to be way more suave to be mistaken for a vampire. But Lucy could also note that despite the comical amount of sightings in recent months no one’s ever come across him in daylight. Where’s he hiding?

Hyde has no home - In the original I recall Jekyll acquired a small place for Hyde to “live” in to make it less suspicious. He might have something like that here, but like in the original it probably wouldn’t have any personal belongings of note, making it seem like a cover for where Hyde truly lives.

Jekyll has more clues to Hyde than he lets on - She might not have been able to gain a lot of info about Hyde, but she could have realized one crucial fact - Jekyll may have been the first person to ever “meet” Hyde, so its possible the person who knows him most is Jekyll. If that’s the case Lucy needs to know more about Jekyll. That should be fine, considering Lanyon’s already will to steal his best friend’s personal affects right? Riiiiiiiight???

Jekyll is Hyding Hide...I mean Hiding Hyde - Hyde is more than just an errand boy to Jekyll, that much is certain. Is he blackmailing Jekyll into writing a will for him and then planning to kill Jekyll? Is he a secret lover that Jekyll has fallen for so much so that he was easily convinced to give away all his worldly possessions? Either way, it could be that the place where Hyde has been hyding I mean hiding is...Jekyll’s home or the Society of Arcane Science. Jekyll ratted Hyde out knowing that he wouldn’t get caught...because he knew where Hyde was the whole time!!! (I mean he does know where he is, but not exactly in the way Lucy imagines it)

Hyde...is DEAD - haha I’m just kidding- stop STOP Rachel put the knife down I’m sorry I didn’t mean it Rachel STOP-

Hyde...has been MURDERED...by HENRY JEKYLL!!! - Rachel PLEASE- Okay but seriously how many levels of irony would we be at if Lucy hypothesizes that Jekyll killed Hyde because

Hyde caused too much trouble

Hyde was blackmailing him and Jekyll took the initiative

Hyde knows secrets and Jekyll killed him to make sure no one knew of them

After Jekyll ratted him out Hyde tried to kill him so Jekyll had no choice

Of course both Lanyon AND Rachel would be on the defense for Jekyll there, but if Lucy brings this up it will not only bring suspicion to Hyde but Pure Scone Jekyll as well.

That’s all the complications I can think of right now, but I’m sure after tomorrow’s page I’ll be like, “Oh, of COURSE this was it! How could I have missed it!?” Fun fact I thought about adding Moreau (but hotter?) to the list of people Hyde’s new friends could potentially be, but then I was like naaaah that’s too far fetched. I played myself friends.

Until next time!

#tgs Sunday predictions #tgs #the glass scientists

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darrenfranich · 7 years

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RIP, Star Wars

Of course Star Wars isn’t dead, you say, it’s going to live forever, didn’t you read that Wired story? But, counterargument: Something can be dead and still be here. Peter Cushing died in 1994, and he was in as many films last year as Rachel McAdams. Alec Guinness died in 2000, but if you ask people "who is Obi-Wan Kenobi in real life,” I bet the majority of people over 22 won’t say “Ewan McGregor.” Jesus, look how long ago Jesus died, how many times you think he came up in conversation today? The past isn’t dead, it isn’t even past. But that doesn’t mean it’s the future.

A lot of people think Star Wars is still alive, that this franchise still has a pulse. Look at The Force Awakens, all those young people swinging lightsabers, wow a desert planet AND an ice planet AND a forest planet, two billion dollars! Look at Rogue One, haha that droid was funny, one billion dollars! A new trilogy! A Han Solo trilogy! Bounty hunter spinoff! Trevorrow! Trevorrow!

Message to everyone who said they loved Rogue One: You can never complain again about...

....Hollywood endlessly developing franchises, remakes and reboots and sequels and spinoffs, take that complaint out of your arsenal, you saw Rogue One so you gave them the ammunition...

...the Hollywood studios’ utter disrespect for filmmakers as anything but traffic-cop content creators...

...young filmmakers’ utter lack of interest in any human behavior not previously observed in the fantasy films they enjoyed when they were children, why develop your dream project for seven years, your pal Colin got all the money for Jurassic Park 4 and Star Wars 9...

...modern fantasy’s dedication to the Chosen One narrative, yes Jyn was a Chosen One even if she wasn’t a Jedi, her dad was SO IMPORTANT and her foster dad was SO IMPORTANT and she inspired the Rebellion to become a Rebellion, if you think Rogue One is about “normal people” go watch an actual movie about normal people sometime, go watch I, Daniel Blake, and if you don’t want to see I, Daniel Blake that’s fine, but consider the possibility that you know very little about real people and movies...

...actors’ inability to find a good movie to demonstrate their talents because they’re too busy chasing relevancy convincing themselves there is some honor in spitshining greenscreen melodrama, did you see fucking see Boyega in Attack the Block, god damn that is a fucking star, how much of this next decade will be Star Wars and Pacific Rim and surely someone on his team would love to fit in one more, look at Jennifer Lawrence, she just signed up for another X-Men even though she stopped caring halfway through First Class, “But Jennifer” her people said, “Passengers, Jennifer, Passengers,” hey for real no judgements and I like Pacific Rim, and I believe in anything sight unseen, I believe in Pacific Rim 2, I mean look at Christian he’s great and he did Batman and maybe this is my Batman is the rallying cry of every actor who does these movies, nobody ever dares to consider this is their Terminator Salvation, now go back and watch Terminator Salvation and marvel at how similar it is to Rogue One, it might as well be Rogue One, fucking Terminator fucking Salvation even did the whole digital-actor thing six years early and it actually looked better because the Terminator isn’t supposed to be a person, but people used to care when humans didn’t look like humans..

....and you can’t complain about the fact that Disney just fired the first good Star Wars directors since Irvin Kershner.

You can’t complain about any of this, because it’s your fault. It’s my fault. It’s us, the people who see these movies. I didn’t like Rogue One, but I saw it, god damn me. This thing I’m writing is whose fault it is.

No, this wasn’t LucasFilm’s fault, although of course LucasFilm is just another lame Silicon Valley company pretending to explore bold new ground while actually just maintaining their consumer base with a religious dedication to the sacred trademarked IP. And of course LucasFilm is no better than any Hollywood studio, sorry George, we all know Hollywood can be awful place but the studios you despised didn’t just make Star Wars and Indiana Jones, and now all the studios have become just like you, all they want is their own Star Wars, look in the mirror, see the face behind Darth Vader’s decapitated helmet, recognize yourself, time to build your museum in Los Angeles, see if you can defeat history by writing your own, 50 miles northwest and 40 miles southeast of your museum the Kathy Kennedys of Reagan and Nixon are trying to do the same thing.

And this isn’t Disney’s fault, because of course Disney doesn’t care about filmmakers. When has Disney ever cared about filmmakers? Why would you ever think that? Have you seen Phil Lord and Chris Miller’s movies, all that playful deconstruction? What makes you think Disney fucking wants to be deconstructed? Remember when Shrek came out and the nice twist at the end was that the beauty became a beast because actually LOOKS DON’T MATTER? Remember 17 years after Shrek when Disney released yet another movie about a beast who becomes a cute doofus because sure looks don’t matter but also HUBBA HUBBA? Quick, guess which made more, Shrek or Beauty and the Beast Except Now Nobody Can Sing? Disney is an engorged capitalist carcharodonic fun-monster, it moves ever onward devouring childhood and recycling its glittering defecation into some untold generation’s primal dreams, Disneyland’s great, I love it, but it’s not what you’d call a place that is open to bold new ideas, they just replaced the Twilight Zone ride with a Guardians of the Galaxy ride, I hear there was a controversy about that, either the term “controversy” has lost all meaning or nothing matters the way it’s supposed to.

What an age we live in. Directors are fired midway through production of their movie, and the charge is serious creative differences between the filmmakers and the producers and the studio. Wow, this is some serious Easy Riders Raging Bulls shit! Man, what were they working on? A bold political statement about our tattered society? A scathing dark comedy guaranteed to outrage everyone and thrill future generations? A boundary-bursting romance that promises to break down our preconceived notions of sexuality? A wild provocation from a fiercely independent creative spirit? What was this film that was too dangerous to be made, your grandchildren will ask you. Was that your generation’s Brazil? Your generation’s Dr. Strangelove? Another Brokeback Mountain? Something that can measure up to the sheer explosive power to Wertmuller’s Swept Away? WHAT WAS THIS WORK OF RADICAL CINEMA your granchildren will ask WHAT WAS IT THAT OFFENDED THE GATEKEEPERS SO?

...it was tenth film in a franchise, or eleventh or thirteenth depending on if you count the animated film and the Ewok movies.

And it was a prequel about the most popular character in the franchise.

This is what we have creative differences about now. “Is the Han Solo movie going to be too funny????” I guess, or maybe “Is the Han Solo movie going to match up to Rogue One?”

Rogue One, LOL. They pushed out that director after production and nobody cared. They spent half the movie flying random places with random people for no motivation besides SAVE THE UNIVERSE and MY DAD!!!! and nobody cared. They spent the whole movie talking about how cool the Death Star was literally 39 years after the movie that already showed you how cool the Death Star was, and nobody cared. Felicity Jones nudged a satellite dish a few degrees left as the big climax and nobody cared, hahaha wow look they took stock footage of all those X-Wing pilots and made the stock footage look more modern-er than before, “Let’s see it again but now more modern-er!” seems to be the rallying cry of us all now, of audiences and of critics and of people everywhere who should want something new.

It’s all so funny. What a laugh. This will make such fine subtext for 23 Jump Street. I blame myself, you should blame yourself, feel bad about this, we caused this. Take nothing seriously but our own complicity. And next year, whenever Han Solo Origins: A Star Wars Story directed by Phil Lord & Chris Miller & [insert scab here] opens in theaters, ask yourself: Do you have to see this movie? Consider advice from Jyn Erso. Isn’t this a rebellion? Are you ever going to rebel?

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Sorry, seriously, not joking, I just remembered: That line didn’t make it into the movie. It was just in the marketing. Star Wars sells rebellion, but nobody involved with Star Wars – not the characters, not the filmmakers, not the audience – rebels against anything anymore.

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jessjem777 · 6 years

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Rachel the fallen angel

ENJOY

Rachel- Man talking to Chloe again was awesome/difficult to do miss that girl

Rachel- Hmmm I should contact Max and tell her everything like why she got her rewind powers...Yeah I shall do that

Rachel goes off to her all seeing machine

Satan- Going off again huh man do you ever take a break?

Rachel- People to kill others to talk too breaks can wait

Satan- Sheesh fine fine go on

Rachel- I wasn't asking your permission

Satan- Whatever....Bitch

Rachel- HEARD THAT!!

Satan- Yeah yeah

Rachel- Hmm there she is hello Maxine

Max- Max never Maxine

Max- Wait wait what the what RACHEL!!!

Rachel- Hello Max how's it goin

Max- I'm alright just how/why you here

Rachel- Gonna be a long story

Max- Tell me everything

Rachel- "sigh" Alright here it goes

Rachel- Well you know the i'm dead bit so we'll skip that I'm the one who gave you your powers Max I knew Chloe was gonna die so I chose you to save her and you did

I've also contacted Chloe like this only a few nights back we had a great convo tbh

I've helped Nathan, Killed Jeffershit i've done a lot of stuff since being dead

I started off in heaven surprising right? anyway then ended up in hell but it's alright I own the joint anyway

Max- HOLY SHIT!!! You're the one who gave me my powers?

Rachel-Indeed I was I had to try something and that was it

Max- I couldn't thank you enough Rachel that's just just amazing

Rachel- It's fine really you did what was neccessary even if that meant sacrificing an entire town for her

Rachel- You made me proud sista

Max- I'll never harm her or sacrifice her EVER and if I made you proud then well i'll take it haha

Rachel- Good to hear it you take care of her

Max I'm gonna don't worry

Rachel- Sooooo When's the wedding?

Max- Whoa whoa whoah wedding?

Rachel- Jesus girl don't tell me you haven't thought of marriage either

Max- Ummm nah not really

Rachel- God you're worse than Chloe far out

Rachel- You chose her over a town you should be marrying her ass right darn now

Max- Yea just never thought about it really

Rachel- I had this talk with Chloe the other night and she wasn't sure about it either

Max- I guess we're both nervous about it and want the other to do it first

Rachel-Either do it soon or don't do it at all you both need/deserve each other if neither of you work up the balls to do it what's the point

Max- Shit girl relax alright alright I'll buy a ring soon alright

Rachel- You better i'll be watching you

Rachel- Anywho have you got any other issues/problems going on since the tornado

Max- Nah all is well....

Rachel- Really Max c'mon you can tell me

Max- Okay....There is this idk other me that keeps hounding me always saying I did the wrong thing and teases me about my mistakes constantly I want her GONE

Rachel- Hmm that's Fucking terrible Max you don't need that

Max- Yeah it's been with me most of my life but lately it's gotten way worse

Rachel- And where can I find this "other you"?

Max- She only comes out every few hours

Rachel- Then i'll wait

They both wait 2 hours for the "other Max" to turn up

Bad Max- Oh we have a visitor do we?

Rachel- Indeed you do

Max- Yeah we do don't worry

Bad Max- Why is she here isn't she dead?

Rachel- You would be correct i'm also in hell and run the joint so relax just wanna talk

Bad Max- Alright....What you wanna talk about?

Rachel- Firstly why are you here irritating poor Max for years without end

Bad Max-We are the same person you can't get rid of me

Rachel- Oh wanna bet? Also answer the damn question

Bad Max- Alright I love watching her struggle with everything and having her put up with the pain of having me criticizing her every move...I enjoy it I get kicks outta it and i'll never stop until she dies

Rachel- Hmm well that's kinda mean isn't it

Bad Max- Yeah so what I ain't changing

Rachel- Hmm yeah doesn't seem you will....Unless

Bad Max- HAHAHA You do know nothing can kill me right? lolol

Rachel- Oh yeah i'm certain something can huh

Bad Max- You can try but i'm in her head what can you do to possibly get rid of me without harming Max

Rachel- Well i'm in her head as well plus i've done this kinda thing plenty of times

Bad Max- Damn this girl must be crazy 2 voices in her head

Rachel- Difference is i'm temporary and you ain't

Bad Max- Yep and I intend to stay that way

Bad Max- Have you thought of a way to "destroy" me yet haha

Rachel- Huh what yeah of course I was just enjoying the chat

Bad Max- Yeah tots have for sureeee

Rachel- Well then no more wasting time aye

Bad Max- Indeed

Rachel then begins to suck the life outta Bad Max

Rachel- Wanna talk shit now bitch

Bad Max- But but but YOU CAN'T DO THIS I'M IMMORTAL

Rachel- If I can suck the life outta you you're not as immortal as you thought whore

Bad Max- Whore? Funny coming from you

Rachel gets angrier and sucks her life faster and faster

Bad Max gets weaker and weaker and starts to disappear

Rachel- YOU'RE GONNA DIE BITCH

Bad Max- This ain't the last you've heard of me you hear

Rachel- Sorry what? Couldn't hear you over VICTORY BITCH

Bad Max- FUCK YOU RACHEL

Rachel- Nah you're not my type

Bad Max- Oh For Fuck sake

Rachel- Yea bummer aye coulda been happy but ah well

Bad Max- Screw your jokes

Rachel- Jokes? I ain't joking while you're dying I was serious

Bad Max- Yeah whateve.......

Bad Max disappears and is no longer

Max- Is...is...is she gone?

Rachel is exhausted and can barely talk or move

Rachel- Yeah...yea...she is gone...No more

Max- Are you okay Rachel?

Rachel then collapses on her back

Max- RACHEL!!! C'mon Rach stay with me c'mon

Rachel then loses consciousness Max starts to worry really badly

Max- No no no NOOOOO C'mon Rach stay with me don't go please Rach please

A long time passes without Rachel waking up

Max- I knew I shouldn't have said anything Fuck fuck FUCK what an idiot I am shoulda dealt with it alone now i've killed Rachel...Again she dies

Max- This is gonna be hard to explain to Chloe

Then suddenly

Rachel- You won't need too explain anything

Max- You're ALIVE!!!!! Holy shit you scared the shit outta me

Rachel- Yea guess that took more outta me than I thought it did...Need to work on that

Max- You were out for 2 days wtf that ain't normal is it?

Rachel- I ain't gonna lie that was my first time doing that...Plus i've never been in people's dreams this long either so that's taking it outta me as well

Rachel- I'm sooo so so so so sorry to scare you like that Max I ain't gonna do it again I promise

Max Wow Rach you did for me tho that's pretty awesome...Also it's alright it happens

Rachel- Well you were struggling with her so why not step in and help

Max- That's 2 times now you've helped me...Damn how can I ever repay you

Rachel then without any hesitation says

Rachel- Marry Chloe and your debt is paid simple

Max- Fuck I knew you would say that ahha

Rachel- Haha but seriously do it

Max- I'm gonna i'll go tomorrow get a ring then wait for the perfect time to ask her

Rachel- That's what I like to hear super Max

Max- Got the nickname from Chloe huh

Rachel- Yeah I did haha suits you

Max- Guess it does but you're the real hero here

Rachel- Nah I may have helped you a few times but i'm just a dead girl trying to write her wrongs and help who she can

Max- That's alright as well Rach

Max- I now know why Chloe loved you...You'll stop at nothing to help people you love

Rachel- Yea I do miss her a lot but that's the past this is now I can also be a total biatch if I wanna haha

Max- That would be tiring work aye haha

Rachel- Speaking of which I should probably go now feeling worn out after dealing with that bitch of yours

Max- Yea that's probably for the best but please drop in again sometime same with Chloe

Rachel- Oh don't worry i've already promised Chloe i'll be back so of course i'll visit you Max

Max- Awesome seriously thank you Rachel for everything

Rachel- It's all good Max i'm happy you are here now with Chloe with that evil bitch outta your head

Max- Ya know what same here...Anyway Goodbye Rachel

Rachel- Goodbye Mad Max

Rachel- BTW I better be invited to the wedding party haha

Max- Hahahaha Of course you are

Rachel- Great just making sure

Rachel- Catch ya Max

Max- See you Rachel

Rachel- Shit that was hard/fun/emotional all at once far out I need a nap that's for sure

Satan- Sup Rach how's it going

Rachel- Wow you're being nice i'm shocked by this revelation

Satan- Shutup and go to bed already haha

Rachel- There is the real Satan haha alright alright i'm out sheesh

Satan- Night Rach

Rachel- Night dude

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