#willa is just going through it but shes fine. like seriously. we dont talk about that random voice after she drowns we just DONT

[josephslittledeputy]

WIP Wednesday!

Tagged by @detectivelokis @direwombat @inafieldofdaisies @clicheantagonist @socially-awkward-skeleton ty for keeping me in the loop lovelies!

Tagging @g0dspeeed @nonfunctioning-queer @marivenah @henbased

Posting a few things since I've missed a million wip wednesdays, so first up is the beginning of Willa's disastrous journey in part 1 of her dark au :)

“Ugh…” A groan forces itself through cracked, dry lips as she wakes to an insistent mumbling hum buzzing by her head. Her eyes flutter open and roam over her settings with an owlish blink. Numbly, she stares ahead, to the swaying headset that’s making so much noise, and finally to the vibrant orange ribbons, flapping in the wind outside. A few minutes tick by before her memory trickles in, syrupy slow, bringing with it an ice cold terror. Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong. She was hanging upside down with her seat belt being the only thing holding her in place. It takes another minute to realize that the ribbons outside were not ribbons at all, but flames. To make matters worse, there's a tiny waterfall of liquid, dripping down from the helicopter and splattering onto the ground into a puddle. The smell itself is indistinguishable: Gas. She looks over to her right to see Hudson, passed out, then in front of her to see Burke, also passed out, and then there was… Wait, where the hell was Joseph? “Amaaaziiiiing Graaaace.” The distant, haunting timber of his voice paralyzes her. Ironically, she can’t help but to think that this would be the part in the movie where the main character ran and hid from the killer. But she has no where to run and no where to hide, so she does the next best thing: A fumbling attempt to grab the headset dangling just out of reach, taunting her. “How sweet the sound…” She leans forward, brushing her fingertips against the headset and pushing it further away. “C’mon!” She makes another attempt and this time her hand secures a tight grip around it. With a bud of hope blossoming in her chest, she pulls it toward her, just a little closer- Joseph’s hand shoots into view like a striking viper, latching onto her wrist with a punishing grasp and her breath hitches in her throat. She doesn’t dare to turn her head, in fact she’s not even sure she’s able to. She’s frozen in place, watching him move into her line of view. “That saved… a wretch… liiiike me…” He tilts his head, watching her. Unblinking. Waiting. It’s only when she releases her death grip on the only lifeline out of here that he, in turn, lets go of her wrist. It's a short lived relief, as in the next moment he grabs her jaw, lips twitching in amusement now that he’s made sure she’ll be unable to look away from him. “I told you that God wouldn’t let you take me.” He taunts, using his other hand to blindly reach up and grab the headset behind him, pulling it close so he could talk into the mic. “Dispatch.” “Ohhh… my god.” Nancy responds with a relieved, shaky exhale of breath. The reply prompts a brief half smile, one that doesn’t quite meet his eyes. “Everything is just fine here. No need to call anyone.” No. No, no, no. There was no fucking way- “Yes, Father. Praise be to you.” He drops the headset with a dramatic flourish then leans in with deadened expression, getting close enough that she could smell him this time: Dirt, sweat, ink, old books, and… something else she couldn’t quite put her finger on. He reaches up, slowly, as if approaching a cornered animal and she can’t help but to think, oh god, this is it. Bracing herself for the pain of long, pianist fingers penetrating squishy flesh, her eyes fly open in surprise when rough, callused thumbs brush across the apples of her cheeks instead. It’s a soft, soothing gesture, one she’s unfamiliar with. He wipes away stray tears that she hadn’t even realized were there and takes a moment to watch her. A second later, he’s leaning in, getting too close, forcing her to move her head back until it hits the headrest behind her. “No one is coming to save you.” He utters those final words before climbing out of the helicopter

Next up is Willa's (failed?) cleansing!

“Not this one.” He holds a hand out, stopping the peggie at her side and giving them a look before handing over the book he’d been reading from. His blue eyes—looking almost colorless in the moonlight—flick back to her and the water parts around him when he moves closer. “This ones not clean.” Then he lunges, pushing her down until she's submerged underneath the water again. She struggles, trying to gain purchase on anything, but the effort is futile and a few seconds later she’s already resurfacing. Her chest heaves with her gasps for air, her lips trembling from the cold temperature. “Y-you mm-muh-mother-f-fucker!” “Ahhhh!” He clicks his tongue with a smile, “Shhhh.” Expecting it this time, she holds her breath just before he pushes her under, the cold water shocking her system as if she were doing a polar plunge. She manages to grab hold of his shirt, pulling him with her and delighting in the blurry shock on his face when he stumbles and falls. He barely manages to catch himself and in using her to regain his balance, he sends her back slamming into the ground, driving the air from her lungs. Out of instinct, she opens her mouth and inhales water, gulping it down like she hasn’t had a drink in years. It gives her a bone chilling sense of dreadful déjà vu. Her frantic movements grow more sluggish the longer time passes until soon, she isn’t even struggling at all, but weakly smacking at whatever part of his body she could. But he doesn’t relent, he doesn’t let up, he keeps her there until her vision darkens at the edges. Then he keeps her there even longer, sharp fingers digging into her shoulders as he takes out his rage and frustration on her. She can’t do anything but exhale… and let go. . . . “N’aww, you really thought this was over? It’s only just begun…” . . . Someones pressing on her chest—one, two, three—then pushing air into her lungs. They repeat the motions again. One. Two. Three. Air forces its way into her lungs. She doesn’t respond. Again—one, two, three—more air. She responds this time, coughing and throwing up water that spills over her face. Sweet, sweet air fills her lungs and there’s a multitude of voices all mumbling by her ear. Her eyes lazily open, idly noting that her chest feels heavy, that it aches. Above her, with the moonlight behind him like a halo, she can only think that Joseph Seed looks just like an angel in that moment. Or maybe it’s the bliss—yeah, she’s sure it's the bliss. His lips were moving and the words don't register with her, but the relief was clear on his face. Raising a hand, he pushes wet strands of hair from her face and slowly, the words begin to fade in. “You’re not here by accident or by chance. You are here by the grace of God. You’ve been given a gift.” His lips pull up into a smile, not like the half ones that she’d seen earlier in the crash, but a real one. His hand smooths over her hair again, the motions setting her at ease, making her relax, disarming her. “Now it remains to be seen whether you choose to embrace it…” His voice lowers into a despairing whisper, ”Or to cast it aside.” Chirping crickets fill the silence while he continues to stare, memorizing her features.

[survivorcordillerablanca]

Episode 6 Confessionals

I mean I didn't make the idol play. But um #LUKEDIDTHAT. Love he did that. But Lexi self voting??? Ruining Luke's plan of getting someone out? ICONIC!! Poor Lexi is prob going to go home lol. But I'm happy the idol I found did something but sad that its now gone and a new one? might be able to be found for those  4 remaining.

One more fake swap / fake merge and I'm going to vote myself off this island.

So iconically, Luke idolled, which i'm happy about. I'm NOT happy about Ryan being voted out considering I was kind of wanting to play a game with him. It also doesn't make sense considering... he's tried in every challenge, and has helped out the tribe greatly imo, but then again - we don't know the social dynamics and tribe outlook on their tribe. Carson told me he found an idol, and i'm superbly excited. Will he use it on me? Likely not. But it's still good to know we have it in OUR possession, and i'm not planning on leaking a word. The fact that he told me is satisfying though, and I do truly feel as if he's my #1 in the game right now. The challenge? Pass. It's something... logic puzzles are... awful (yet a little fun at times, sure). The cup thing... whomst... and the counting? I'm fairly triggered. I'm going to likely sit out because i'm busy today and I just couldn't care or want to do ANY of that. also why is there no SWAP!

Last tribal was fun with my idol play but Lexi made it less iconic with the self vote but that was completely understandable since she has a lot going on personally and I hope she's okay <3 It worked well in the sense that Jordan and Jay can still convince Lexi that they just had to do what they had to do with the tie and they saved her over Ryan. I compleTELY FUCKED UP THE COUNTING PART OF THE CHALLENGE WHICH I WAS ALREADY EH ABOUT DOING SINCE IT'S THE WORST BUT EUUURGH I MESSED UP. I'm hoping that we can win but if we don't then I hope I can trust Jay and Jordan enough to keep our 3 alliance strong and just vote our Lexi unanimously providing she doesn't have an idol or anything like that. I'll make an update after results...

Can you believe we win again? If we merge, it's gonna be 7-3. What a time to be alive!!! 

WHEWWWW i searched Mancos for the idol bc of my idol clue i got and i fucking found the idol and wow... i decided to tell Zach because I definitiely wanna nurture a relationship with him (love him so much) and we're a dynamic duo for sure!! i only talk to hi9m though and i def gotta fix that. playing this game AND another game at once is just a bit much but im still doing my best.

OKAY IM SCREAMING HOW DID I EVEN GET ANOTHER REWARD?? Idk how many rewards there have been in total bc I forgot but I've gotten 3 and didn't do 1 bc it was too risky but like what the heck how is this even happening?? I'm shook 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5g0x_0uPJo

WE WON IMMUNITY YESSS!!! going into the final 10 7-3 is definitiely amazing and im assuming luke goes on the other tribe. im fine with that bc it seems like everyone on my tribe is close to luke, so theyll be closer to me if hes gone!! im definitiely enjoying this tribe but like.. where does everyone stand?? who knows. we havent gone to a tribal since eric combusted and i dont know where i stand. i trust zach and i kinda trust bryce even if we dont talk strategy but idk where everyone else stands. katie truists me i think, but idk if i talk to her enough for it to be a FULL trust between us?? shes probably the one i trust the most after the other 2. charlotte is... whew?? she hates zach im pretty sure so like... idk about that personally. shes a good player and also like... idk i just dont talk to her as much as the other returnees. willow is cool and shes super nice but we NEVER talk strategy and also she like gave tons of info to eric allegedly then voted him out so idk if i can trust that rlly but like  thats a bit hypocritical bc i kinda used him too. i need to try talking more strategy with her. and chris... we talk and they're pleasant conversations but like willow, i dont talk strategy enough with him. plus hes a good game player from what ive seen in this game?? i know hes busy so i just gotta start getting a bit more out of him. my social game has def been slipping and if i dont get it up, im looking at a merge boot status bc tbh? i think im a pretty big threat. ideally, jordan pines is merge boot, then we can use lexi/jay to possibly get out some of our tribe, maybe charlotte?? on second thought i could use jordan for that too but like.. i dont trust jordan lmao. IDEALLY, id like a boot order of... f10: jordan f9: charlotte f8: lexi f7: willow f6: chris f5: jay f4: bryce f3: katie/zach, depends on who i think i can win easier against?? then ideally a final 2 of me winning. but survivor is always changing, so nothing is for sure. thats just how id LIKE it to happen, but nothing is gonna happen exactly so ill just pray!!

We lost immunity...again...shocker! Jay approached me earlier to potentially blindside Jordan and get him out since he's a huge threat at the upcoming merge but ultimately decided that using his connection with Katie and his reputation as a meat shield would be to our advantage since we're both winners and that is enough to get people to target us. It feels weird working this closely with Jay. If we merge next then plan to get Katie using Jordan, Carson using Jay and Zach using myself and then add Charlotte into the group and we should have a strong group. I also want to find out who gave me the immunity idol so I can first of all thank them, second of all ask them why and third if all work with them. I just hope I'm not being screwed by Jay the same way he was trying to screw Pines. 

Confessional #1 this round: Fuck ulta, i hate this tribe, i want to leave, ryan palmer let me go home

I accidently self voted last round and it tied between me and ryan because luke used an idol. so they voted ry out and i cried alittle. thats about all. 

Confessional #2- Rip Lexi, this is wrong, how the fuck are we gonna be at 3 players, after this wtf they have an entire tribe waiting to fight us

Im so happy we won again to be able to go into a merge with 7-3 majority maybe and a 4 person group into the 10 person game! Things are going well

Wish I can find the idol and hope luke doesnt go out either here

bye lexi! honestly like... idk. all newbies on their tribe are gone, it's so funny. im anticipating merge! or a swap.. or something. its 7v3 for crying out loud! im not sure what my move is going forward, but i think im confident. just kidding, i'm likely leaving. this is a bs conf but i may make one tomorrow hehe

haha I beat Jay

wow can't believe I'm this seasons challenge beast

We're really that tribe that's completely decimating everything.

I've been out all day and I see that they voted out Lexi. Every tribal that Jordan pines makes it through makes me even more nervous about getting to a merge with him around. We didn't have a good history in our last game but I'm hoping that there are more people around with bad blood with him so I can kinda just get by without getting any shots fired at me. I just want to go into a merge already. None of this potential "tribe swap" to make things even for one more round. I usually get fucked in a swap and I'd rather not have history repeat itself.

Over the course of the past week or so, i've been attempting to mend things with Charlotte. She's the only person that I feel like would be dead set on getting rid of me, so to weaken that desire would be sufficient. I also want to work on Katie and Chris a bit more so that the newbies (since i'm already decent with Willow, I believe) would be more loyal to me. I need opportunities! As for the pending upcoming merge or swap, i'm not ready. I would hope the 7 Ulta stay together for a BIT or something, like vote out Jordan. I'm semi-close with Jay and Luke, so would I want to vote them out right away? Well, in the wise words of Jay - absolutely not. But I would if I had to. I'd be more lenient with voting Jay since i'm now developing a friendship with Luke (because of another ORG) and I really like him, he's a cool kid. Him and I have NEVER worked together in past ORGs so if we manage to survive and make it on a tribe together, it'll be something refreshing. Carson's still my favourite though. He's a social god and it's scary. The kid has school from like 7-3pm and still finds more time to message me somehow or someway. It's... wildt. I trust him to an extent and him and I both have agreed that like we'll go far but obviously we are bale to betray one another if essential to our own game. I likely won't make it that far though RIP. I told him i'd be his lapdog, despite the tag of the season o.O Bryce. I didn't mention him yet. He's cool, him and I rarely talk but I think he's overall a great person. I'd like to talk to him more but our last conversation felt dull and I can't force a convo (not his fault, communication is indeed a two way street.) Nonetheless, it's something I may have to work on for my game. Also lowkey it's so funny because two tribals ago, you provoked the question regarding returnees and newbies, and here are some facts: - Ryan asked you to stop shoving it down his throat. He got voted out consequently. Iconic, right? - All newbies on their side are eliminated - All the boots in the game in general are newbies (with the exception of my Bahamas representative Willa...RIP good soul. The good die young!) So basically a returnee will win this game. It might be slightly worrying to Katie/Willow/Chris and they may want to extend and form bonds with OG Copa so that they have backup, because obviously there's a trend with voting out the newbies. Anyway, this is my third confessional this round... more than expected hehe hope you enjoy! P.S look at this rude ass message: On 2017-09-14, at 6:36 PM, carson wrote: > Use the Golden Rope to hang urself please HSDGNISDGNDS It was so funny I choked bye now

I seriously thought I was being screwed this round because I didn't think Jay would flip on Lexi but he did and I'm still here! 5 votes against me and I'm still here which is great!! There are only 3 of us left on Copa and we're an alliance so if we don't swap/merge and lose immunity then....it's going to suck. I think maybe I'd be in the middle? But equally Jordan and Jay have known each other a lot longer than they've known me so they might see me as disposable and get rid of me which I hope isn't the case. I really wanna merge and go work with Zach, Charlotte and Carson who I know and think I could work well with. Also Bryce, a newbie from last season, someone who I'd be interested in hooking up with in this game and working with!

So I got another advantage which is lit, I guess all these advantages are making up for kvaloya, anyway who knows how I'm gonna be able to explain the randomized vote?

Okay so like I just realized I'm in another game with Eric. And I kinda led the charge to get him voted out so I'm trying to win immunity otherwise he is totally killing me so sorry this is a terrible confessional but I'm STRESSING. 

If we don't merge I'm so incredibly fucked