#willowkeyes rants

[willowaudreykeyes]

I am in the mood for some awesome Creativitwins mostly-kinda-canon content where the bois have each other's backs by the end. Seriously; I love everything about Roman and Remus being two Sides of Creativity, being SO different, and yet they still are there for each other by the end.

Roman is crushing on another Side? Even though that romantic stuff isn't his forte; Remus either helps him talk it out, threatens to tell him himself if the Prince doesn't just tell them already, or does some kind of scheme to help him get with his crush.

Remus is feeling lonely or like he's a monster? Roman hangs out with him, hugs him, goes on a quest with him, helps the other Sides get used to him.

Oooh! I really love when one is injured in the Imagination and the other saves them. Especially if Roman is the one who gets hurt because I like Princey whump WAY too much.

What I haven't seen much of is the silent, brotherly love they could have! Where they both deeply care for the other, yet keep up this facade to appease the Light Sides.

Maybe Roman gets tired of Remus getting insulted one day and loses his shit?

Remus threatening to beat the fuck out of anyone who dares to hurt his currently-in-pain twin.

Roman who tells an unsympathetic Patton to fuck right off with his black and white bullshit and that he has had enough with him ruining his relationship with his brother.

Remus. Attacking unsymp Virgil. For ruining something Roman spent MONTHS on. Just a quick WHA-BAM!

Poly relationships where the brothers learn to share their partner (Logan or Janus are personal favs) without murdering each other?

Yes

King returns fics where it's like a SU fusion where they can unfuse later! (I can't handle them both disappearing forever it's too sad ;-;)

Even non-canon fics!! They help each other by the end!! Enemies to best-bros!!

Jaixufjebbskdjdbbe I love them. Feel free to add anything to share with the class because Caring Creativitwins is my ultimate serotonin and I'm sure I'm not the only one💚❤️

@sparrowofsong @ambersky0319 @wroammin @double-faced-god @glowsticks-are-valid I got excited sorry ._.

[willowaudreykeyes]

Okay: I’ve watched it 4 times and here’s the things about the episode that I find interesting. Or that I’m looking too much into. You guys can all decide because idk.

- Roman seems to make alliterations when he's shocked? He's done it before, but now he's done it again and when he's surprised that Thomas 'lied' or 'tricked' the ticket person.

- Virgil has resting disappointed face even as he eats popcorn.

- Roman is very dramatic about the age thing. "He's in his thirties, he may as well be in his sixties." "Can't think of new excuses quick enough in his old age."

- "I love you" is very big words. Do not use them, or forget them, lightly around Virgil.

- Have they always been on his back so much about lying, or was it only after Janus was introduced?

- Possibility: Romans eyes actually change into hearts when cute guy appears?

- Also: Roman goes into Shakespearean when cute guy appears.

- Roman is so optimistic when it comes to love! But not about other Sides? He's rather pessimistic when it came to Virge (at the beginning) and Janus. And kinda Remus too.

- Roman has used "We don't know if he's not gay" more times then the three can count.

- Pins equals introverts way of talking apparently. I guess that makes sense, since there’s pins for almost every kind of hobby, and Virgil knows this too.

- Roman sounds rather happy when they found out that Nico likes Paramore. Supporting his emo friend and his hobbies right there.

- “The Nightmare Before Christmas” is and will always be a Prinxiety thing. Did you see those star eyes Roman gave? And how happy-surprised Virge was?

- Virgil does think about romance too. “You can live like Jack and Sally, if you want.” Kind of cute.

- Virgil has eyes like a damn hawk. He saw those pins and went full on x10 zoom on them.

- Roman’s got some adorable music happening when more clues appear.

- Sticker/Button System must be followed or Virge no happy.

- Roman is almost as good as Patton with puns, except he has to explain it. Has he done that before? I feel like he has. I feel like this is a thing but I’m not sure.

- Roman and Virgil have about the same wavelength when it came to the creepy stalking-ish part. They both cringe when Thomas goes off to the side.

- If you use a word at the end of a sentence that sounds like a name at Roman, he thinks you got his name wrong. He did it at some other point I can’t remember when but he does this. Kind of feels like a autism and/or ADHD trait? (I know I for sure get confused sometimes)

- “Great... he’s gay” “Great indeed...” “GREAT INDEED” I love them. Just gonna say that again.

- Roman has this big thing about his name and it doesn’t seem like its a thing he’s faking? He seems genuinely confused. The one that’s two above mentions it, and the way he spelt it at the trial? And how he seemed very defensive when Janus spelt it wrong? This is a thing.

- Virgil is a self-proclaimed expert of anti-social etiquette and I say he deserves that title. 

- Virgil also really likes non-verbal ways of communicating. 

- Roman does the thing where you put your two pointer fingers together and its adorable.

- Fast head nod of agreement coming from Roman here. Over dramticness? Or actual quirk?

- Roman very much freaks out when flirting goes wrong. Not just a Virgil thing. 

- Virgil be scaring Thomas with zero regrets when he lost his test that the Universe gave him.

- Virgil be very glad to admit when he’s panicking. He also has admitted when he’s anxious in the past. He knows it, acknowledges it, makes Thomas and the others deal with it because dealing with it isn’t in the job description.

- Roman’s fine with compromise! Virgil gives an idea that attempts to help the romance part, Roman’s not 100% happy but rolls with it. Besties right here (even if they don’t know it). He does have a limit though.

- Nicknames are forever with Roman.

- Virgil is on Thomas’ left side, the more ‘thinky’ side of the brain. Roman is on the right, the more ‘feely’ side of the brain. It’s kind of more obvious in the scene where they grab Thomas a lot.

- Roman really slips with his feelings when he’s stressed. He says stuff that’s usually more about his self-worth. “You’re making a mistake.” “If I am, I’ll add it to the list.” That was said under a lot of stress and frustration. He’s done it before and he’s done it again; except now they don’t address it and it’s just a passing sentence.

- pLaNt

- Virgil would rather embarrass Thomas by making him talk to a stranger, instead of the guy that he thinks is cute? I mean, its very embarrassing by the end of it and Virge barely seems affected by it.

- And now Virgil is compromising. He works with Roman to make sure that Thomas looks okay (the “check your teeth” line).

- idk wtf the sty’s thing is about. Weirdly placed anxiety over it? Or something?

- Roman is very impulsive and basically throws Thomas into the trash can when a bad thing happens in front of a lot of people. Ego was definitely hurt there. Why hide instead of run away? Did Virgil sorta influence that?

- Plans help anxiety. Pretty sure they’ve covered that topic before, but lets just do a recap in this I guess.

- Virgil is half the people on this platform “Cyberstalking... but real life”. I mean, everyone makes a metaphor that has an actual word behind it sometimes. 

- “Try Speaking from the heart” ... I expected Patton, but there has been moments before where a Side who is expected to be there, isn’t there. Logan showed this in “Moving On” when he physically left but he never REALLY left. Patton showing up to add his own words to this may have been too much for him? Or he thought it would be for the others?

- Ah crap here’s the monologue-

- First off, it’s very honest. Full on honesty. With no holding back. And it really hit the feels; but is it realistic though? (Genuinely asking I’ve never been in that kind of situation)

- Very rambly too “I honestly don’t know what I’m doing at the mall today. I don’t know what I was looking for... I guess that answers my question- The mall is where you go when you want something but you don’t know what it is because the mall has everything.” Very rambly, very nervous, very honest.

- Roman and Virgil are very... in awe? Shocked? What is this? Roman looks so contemplative as he looks at himself in the mirror and I wanna be in his brain and know what he’s thinking.

- “I don’t know a lot about anything. Least of all, myself.” Okay, Janus just pulled all the way away for a full minute and forty-eight seconds (this is 99% accurate) to just let Thomas talk and feel didn’t he? This is just complete honesty.

- Anyone would be awkward with the guy coming out of that stall. I’m awkward thinking about it and seeing it again. Moving on-

- “I gotta stop wooing strangers in bathrooms” just a 3000 word fic of at least one other time that he’s done this and I will be yours forever

- Virgil is a dramatic emo who dislikes lying. Crossed arms, waiting outside for him, looks up when he says “you know what I meant”- They’re all part of an actor your at least a LITTLE dramatic.

- Virgil has a big thing about lies and relationships. This has to do with him and Janus’ relationship somehow- It’s about Thomas’ relationships with friends and his romantic life too. He didn’t seem as annoyed about them in the ‘Lies’ song way back when which didn’t mention lying about any type of relationship.

- “Can’t have true love if the relationship isn’t built on truth.” Is this what he was thinking about in the bathroom? Its a cute line either way. 

- Okay, Roman and Janus have some kind of... something. Cause a lot of Roman’s talks about his goals for Thomas pushes Thomas into relying on Janus until Roman realises that it’s morally bad OR (as seen in the talk after the bathroom scene) when he realises that it’ll be bad for Thomas in the long run.

- “Will (D)deceit continue to be the answer to all of your problems? Is that fair to him?” HIM WHO!? Janus or Nico!? Both!? AHHHH! This could mean so much in any direction you throw it but I can’t find the dang words!! “No, he’s better off without me.” This could just be Thomas misunderstanding the ‘him’ Virgil means too or he does understand idk-

- “I was afraid you left!” *INSERT TWO SIDES SCREAMING HERE* Hahaha he’s literally screaming on the inside omg-

- “He fears things too!?” Virgil doesn’t understand how people work when he’s worked up. Duly noted.

- Roman and Virgil equals A Gay Panic

- Thomas’ first thought when panicked is to ask the guy, that he thinks is cute and has been trying to get the attention of for the last while, ‘what is wrong with you?’ ... 10/10 Thomathy

-  .Roman seems... a little resigned that another ‘chance at happiness’ is walking away? I mean, he’s super sad but resigned to his fate. That’s sad as hell. He’s USED TO THIS and I don’t like that 😢

- Virgil’s scene where he looks between, NOT Thomas, but Nico and Roman, is really well done and filled with... a lot. He psyches himself up first of, taking in quick breaths before pushing Thomas, obviously afraid but still doing it anyway. And the look he gives a very resigned Roman looks like its both guilt and sadness. Could just be me thinking that he has a ‘this is my fault’ thing.

- Full on surprise on Roman’s face when Virgil pushes Thomas. No one was expecting that.

- Carrots. The carrots brought them together. Thomas... you don’t have to eat carrots, but at least say ONCE that they aren’t all bad.

- “I like songs” you’ve also written some and sung x5 as many but okay, go with that I guess. (Is this to not brag about being a singer right away? I guess so?)

- If Nico was writing about something that happened midway through his visit to the food court, what was he writing about before that? Did he have nothing until Thomas tripped over the bin?

- “I tend to waste a lot of opportunities in my life” Then cuts to Virgil. Ouch. Direct hit on Virge...

- BRAVERY. (i’ll get back to this-)

- “Shut up, emo.” No complicated nicknames; just the easy picking. Very cute. Very yes. Roman your a sap and its great.

- When Thomas is telling Roman to ‘get out’, he sinks down and is he biting his thumb? He’s still excited. And I’m adding ‘biting’ to his list of stims.

- Virgil claps his hands.  Roman and Virgil both cover their mouths. Both yell. Manic hand movements. Virgil gets Thomas to walks around and flappy hands. (And the nervous pee too I guess?)

- OKAY. EYESHADOW. Big thing, also new. I believe that it may be him ‘growing’ as a Side. First, he believed that he was JUST Thomas’ anxiety. Then comes to term with being more then that, which helps him become a ‘Light Side’. And now, he’s learnt that ‘fear’ and ‘bravery’ can both be present at the same time and is now growing from that as well. So, his back and forth between black and purple could mean a back and forth of the ‘fear’ and ‘bravery’ aspects. Thomas about to send a bad tweet? Black. Optimistic about things ‘never being the same again’? Purple. Thomas bringing up that they just met? Black. Its a promising start? Purple again.  Purple when something optimistic, its purple. Pessimistic, its black. There’s a thing happening there.

- And also, lots of smiley Virgil when he goes purple. Brave enough to smile? Or optimistic enough to be truly happy about it?

- “Join me! No thinking!” Okay, all the ‘Roman Himbo’ stans have already gone nuts over this so I’ll keep going XD

- Roman’s first date idea is to go to France immediately and I love him for being so honestly over-the-top

- Dogs are the demons of anxiety its now a fact. They even bring out the Tempest Tongue, despite hearing the dog “thirty times a day”.

- Do not tell Virgil to relax. Black eyeshadow. Very on brand tbh. He does not relax and you should know this by now Roman.

All in all; I love them and the entire episode ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜

[willowaudreykeyes]

It’s spring and I hate/love it.

All the wild flowers are blooming! So there’s orange and yellow EVERYWHERE in my town... And the grass is actually green instead of dead, like it will be when summer gets here. And bees are cute! As long as they keep away from me. And we also get house spiders to help keep away the Red Backs and White Tails so that’s nice.

But the worst thing...

The very worst thing about spring?

Lawn Mowers!!!

(Or Mown Lowers as my brain attempts to ‘correct’ it to)

I have an irrational fear of them and I hate them so much. I don’t even think it’s the noise; although that’s not pleasant either. But just... no amount of science and logical thinking can make me not get scared of them when I’m near them. Which means that I can’t help Mum mow our lawn, because I don’t even want to touch it. Keep it away from me...

[willowaudreykeyes]

I hate my brother

I wish to just... strangle him!!!!

/j but GOD I wanna knock him the fuck out right now

[willowaudreykeyes]

.... I hate feeling lonely

[willowaudreykeyes]

When I realised that I was non-binary; a few things had hit me. 

One was that my mother would probably never understand it, even if she tried. She’s not the most open-minded person there is...

Another was that my name sounds weird. Not bad, it doesn’t bring up a bad emotion when I hear it. It’s just... It doesn’t fit in that little puzzle piece space anymore. Which is why I’ve been trying to get used to Remy. My online friends and my therapist use it, which is awesome. But the last thing that hit me was how I view my body. It’s a females body (I need to find a better way of saying that that doesn’t sound so weird...) and I’ve always kinda had iffy thoughts on it? On me? Idk Never been one to ‘fancy’ myself up unless my sister asks me to. Dressing me up and doing my makeup calms her down and I’ve never minded it as long as its her and my step-mum jumping in with opinions.  But I’ve always made sure that nothing really shows. I get anxious walking down the street that people are looking at me, and some days are worse when I think that they’re looking at my chest. It’s visible behind a baggy jumper so its enough to make me self conscious I bought a binder to try out after looking at a bunch of reviews but the post is slow. I won’t get it for... idk how long. And then I have to see if it fits and then find times to wear it because I’m usually just sitting all day and I don’t wanna do anything permanent by accident- .... I guess I have some body dysphoria? Its not too bad, I don’t think I’ve gotten sad or mad over it. Its just a thought that hangs around, some days more then others. One day was a little worse then others, and a lot of things didn’t help with some depression about it... Idk =p

[willowaudreykeyes]

I have ideas

So many ideas

I just wanna wriiiiiiiite!!!

[willowaudreykeyes]

Really Tumblr?

..... What if I don't want that? If your ads could remove my chest and keep everything else the same with little risk and cost; I'd be fine with that.

Seriously though, what a shitty ad. Nothing wrong with a little extra seal fat on people- including me. Keeps me warmer in the winter and there's more to hug and keeps me from getting TOO skinny since I'm at risk-

This is just me complaining about weight loss ads cause I really fuckin' hate 'em.

[willowaudreykeyes]

Uuuuuugh I hate my fingers. Somebody swap with me please.

In the heat they swell and throb and hurt. In the cold, which is what it is now, they are harder to move and also hurt.

Gloves overheat them too quickly! It's just rude and I'm trying to type and just blegh

[willowaudreykeyes]

When the question “Do you even remember the burritos names?” isn’t weird at all, you know that you have a... creative lil brother XD

And yes, I remembered their names. Hard to forget Tim and Tom.

[willowaudreykeyes]

I’ve been told for a long time now to write things down in a journal or something; and I only just realised that I’ve started doing that, but on Tumblr :/ I share thoughts and feelings that I can’t write down without posting it? And I sometimes click on ‘willowkeyes rants’ tag to see them and I’m half relieved that there’s no notes on them ._. No doubt people see them, but idk So imma just do it more and put them under the ‘willowkeyes rants’ tag Because they help a little since I often forget what I wanna talk about with my therapist the second the appointment starts :/

[willowaudreykeyes]

I haven’t been on much, although imma try to be on more because I’m now worried about missing cool fanart and fanfiction.. Some stuff has happened so imma just do a recap because I can

- I’m free to do some beta reading for Sanders Sides!!

(gonna put that at the top there as I am and I want people to know) I will do it for free, preferably maybe the first chapter or so. And if you do ask, please tell me if there’s any unsympathetic Sides as I dislike some. All Sympathetic is welcome. And any trigger warnings would be nice too please. Not much affects me, but I rarely gets days where some things hit harder for no real reason =p Back to what I’ve been doing... - Seeing my therapist through video chat and she’s helping me out with my whole spiralling depression and anxiety. Gonna try and start researching with her for LGBT+ groups in the area to go to once the whole worldly crisis is over

- Got Persona 5 Royal and have been playing it non-stop. I’m basically cheating though as I really want the True Ending so I have guides in a bunch of tabs. That and I have DLC Persona’s which is just pay-to-win to be honest XD

- Wanted a break from staring at a blank page all the time. It was hard to stop, but hopefully it helps bring back my motivation.

- Dreading my birthday that’s in a month because i have no idea how its gonna go. I also always cry on my birthday, every year without fail. I think I’ve made some kind of loop with that and my depression so that it just happens... AND IMMA BE 22 EHHHH

- Learned that I’m a Ravenclaw-Hufflepuff (i thought i was just Hufflepuff) as I had made and deleted my account 10 times to do the quiz and it was 4-6 with Ravenclaw on top... Ravenpuff? Huffleclaw... Hmm...

- Have thought about making a list of fanfictions that I love. Stopped myself from doing it a bunch of times for no determinable reason. Idk =p

So yeah, that’s it. As I have no job, I stopped my schooling as I can’t work online, have no RL friends and only online ones and I live with family still; so I don’t have much to talk about. Thought this was a good idea =p I need to come to Tumblr more often...  Oh and to all my Tumblr friends who see this I stiLL LOVE YOU HEAPS!! I just have lacked all motivation until I got Persona 5; then I just binged that for 4 days straight. So... I still love yas!!

[willowaudreykeyes]

Anyone else have to correct themselves from saying "Mown Lower" instead of "Lawn Mower"? Or something like that?

Cause I do. Constantly. Every time they're brought up actually.

And yes, I ranted about lawn mowers in the tags-

[willowaudreykeyes]

When you go out for your brother's birthday dinner and all they do is pick on bearded women and say sex jokes while you've talked about how those subjects make you feel and you're a closeted non-binary

But not a closeted asexual. They just don't know what that is despite you telling them several times and that those subjects make you uncomfortable

And when you say that you wanna walk home but they all say "just wait ten minutes and we'll be done" but you CAN'T wait ten minutes because you're close to having a fucking anxiety attack

After ten minutes of hearing excuses you manage to just get up and leave because your 21 fucking years old but once you get home your Janus charm from your necklace is missing and you don't know how long it's been missing for

... Wouldn't that all just really suck?