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monsterpal4thegaygal-blog · 6 years

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Lich girlfriend

this is a short fic for day two of the #wintermonsterbang!

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You would think sorcerers would make good cooks. After all, they always needed to work with the components of their spells, so that skill should translate to using recipes to cook right?

As it turns out, it didn’t. At least it didn’t with your girlfriend.

Edelgard was by far one of the most powerful casters in the land, experienced both with alchemy and necromancy. But you had quickly learnt that you should never leave her to cook something alone.

You weren’t sure whether it was a lack of talent or just the fact that she had gone for a century without needing to eat, but she was a disaster at it. A year ago she had allowed you to stay in her tower when you needed shelter from the rain. The storm had lasted long enough for the both of you to be forced to spend plenty of time together, and naturally you got to know each other. She wasn’t like the stereotypical liches in stories. Her studies in necromancy had been something of a necessity for her alchemy studies, as she wanted to make sure she would be able to continue her studies. As such she had succeeded in becoming a lich, combining her necromantic and alchemic magics to keep her body going past the point of death (and to make sure she still looked pretty, which you had to admit she did a very good job at. Aside from the missing nose that is, though even that was somewhat charming in a weird way.) She had been somewhat reserved but overall she had been pleasant company and a good host and a friendship soon bloomed, which eventually turned into something more. At the start she had just made sure to provide you with food you could use to cook yourself meals, but once you got more romantically involved she had taken it upon herself to do as many stereotypically cute couple things as was possible. That had included making you breakfast, and that was how you had found her treating some severe burns on her hand that morning. It was decided afterwards that she would stick to the alchemy and you would stick to the cooking.

But now it was the heart of winter, and the Feast of Candles was fast approaching. It had always been your favourite holiday, and you were excited to spend it with her. Your excitement had infected her quickly and by now the tower was already more festive than it had probably been in ages. You had gotten a tree from the nearby forest and magic garlands had been put up all throughout, with small ghostly blue flames flickering on all the candles you had set up. But the Feast of Candles wouldn’t be complete without the food. It was called the Feast of Candles after all.

There was the issue of how to enjoy it with Edelgard though. She herself couldn’t eat food. It wouldn’t digest and just cause build-up in her stomach that would rot. And just making food on your own to eat alone wasn’t terribly festive. That left only one option when it came to enjoying food together. You and Edelgard would try to make cookies.

You figured nothing too bad could go wrong. If you handled the fire, none of the other parts of making cookies should be a problem, right? You were wrong.

It started when you tasked her with measuring the flour while you cracked the eggs. Somehow she dropped it, leaving you both covered in it and causing you both to need a bath. Undeterred you measured the flour yourself when you came back and continued. Then she accidentally dropped the bowl she was stirring, absolutely ruining her pants and boots (luckily she had gone with her cheapest ones for the occasion). After that you pretty much took over and did the rest yourself, just idly chatting with her for the rest of the process and occasionally stealing kisses. By the time they were in the oven you figured nothing much could go wrong anymore, so you excused yourself for a quick bathroom visit while she watched over them.

A grave error.

When you got back there was black smoke coming from the ruined and smouldering oven, as Edelgard stood there, looking incredibly guilty. You sighed.

“What happened?”

She smiled sheepishly.

“Well, I figured, maybe I could use some magic to speed the process up? So I just manipulated the temperature a little with some extra ghost-fire and it seems it didn’t agree with the oven…”

You took out the tray, or what was left of it, out of the oven, looking at the few black heaps that were the cookies. Evidently your disappointment showed on your face, as Edelgard reacted quickly.

“I am really sorry dearest. I know this meant a lot to you.”

You shook your head, smiling weakly at her.

“Oh well, they’re just cookies. Let’s just clean up alright?”

You didn’t blame her for anything really, it was just a dumb mistake, but the mood was definitely low during the clean-up.

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The next morning you woke up to an empty bed. This was surprisingly rare. While Edelgard worked a lot, after you had gotten together she still preferred lazy mornings where she could wake up alongside you. After all she was immortal now, she had no reason to rush her research, so she might as well take advantage of the endless time she now had. You put on a robe and walked outside of the room to go find your girlfriend.

Eventually you heard voices coming from her workshop, as well as a wonderfully sweet smell.

“And you’re sure they’ll turn out alright now?” Edelgard asked.

Another voice, with a heavy Russian accent, responded:

“Like I told you, they will. Don’t worry, it’s a trusted recipe.”

Edelgard hmm-ed and they fell into silence again, so you walked into the room to see what was up.

Next to Edelgard was a shorter person in a maid outfit, a bushy fox tail full of feathers swishing behind them. Both them and Edelgard were intently observing a plate of cookies baking in the oven.

You coughed.

“Uhm, Edelgard, who’s your guest?”

She shot up in surprise, blushing when she saw you.

“Oh, dearest! Uhm, this is Natasha. She’s an old friend.”

The lady turned around too, smiling warmly and making a slight bow.

“It’s nice to meet you, miss y/n. Edelgard told me much about you in our correspondence.”

You smiled at her.

“It’s nice to meet you as well, I think Edelgard mentioned you a couple of times too. Though,” you looked between the two, “why are you both here so early in the morning.”

“Oh well,” Edelgard awkwardly rubbed the back of her neck, “I know the cookies yesterday meant a lot to you, and I was very sorry for destroying them, so I wanted to surprise you with new cookies! Natasha is a kikimora, so she’s a lot better with cooking than I am, so I called in a favour.”

You felt a smile coming onto your face, leaning in to hug her.

“Aww, babe! That’s really nice of you. I didn’t really care that much about the cookies, but I really appreciate it.”

She smiled too, tilting up your chin and leaning in for a loving kiss.

The cookies were indeed, very good.

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