howtobangyourmonster
howtobangyourmonster
How To Bang Your Monster
4K posts
A place for monsters/aliens and the people who love to bang them (NSFW 18+ Only) MONSTER MATCHES ARE CLOSED www.etsy.com/shop/monstrophy
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
howtobangyourmonster · 27 days ago
Text
Tumblr media
POV: Your husband is an ancient kraken beast. Maybe related to this.
7K notes · View notes
howtobangyourmonster · 29 days ago
Text
So far I am loving this game, even if my staircase hates my guts
what you see: haha funney dating sim where you can fuck the furniture!
what you get: loving explorations of things like adhd, alcoholism, ocd, chronic illness, body dysmorphia, toxic relationships, the evils of capitalism and ai. brennan lee mulligan is there
10K notes · View notes
howtobangyourmonster · 1 month ago
Text
Fuck it, this plane of existence sucks, let’s go see what the fae have got going on.
Tumblr media
10K notes · View notes
howtobangyourmonster · 1 month ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Nice people make the best Nazis. Be mean, be tough, have a fascist tooth/skull collection.
32K notes · View notes
howtobangyourmonster · 2 months ago
Text
And sometimes you make jokes about your house being on fire and you learn real quick which of your friends grew up responsible for containing their family’s house fire and which did not.
Sometimes it feels like you've lived your whole life in a house that's always a little bit on fire. Like it's usually just in one room and you make sure to wet the walls around it so it doesn't spread and that usually works. You were expected to take more responsibility over fire containment when you were like seven because it's not like you can expect your parents to always be 100% on guard about making sure the whole house doesn't catch fire, and you figure that's just how things are like.
And sometimes as a kid you visit your friends' homes and some of then whisper to you - grimacing with embarrassment - about how they're not supposed to tell anyone this, but there's a whole room in their house that's currently on fire. And you're like yeah it's ok I'm not supposed to tell people about the way our house is a little bit on fire all the time, too. And then you visit some other friend's house and there's no trace of fire anywhere, and you think "wow, these people are really good at hiding their house fire."
And one day you show up to work like "hey sorry I'm late, I forgot to wet the walls before going to bed last night and my whole house burned down", and you're startled by the way people react, acting like that must be the worst thing that has ever happened to you. And you're just like "chill, it's been years since the last time this happened, and it wasn't even that bad this time", and that just makes people more shocked, acting like that's the weirdest and most concerning thing they've ever heard anyone say, which only confuses you more.
And then someone tries to explain to you that people aren't supposed to have an ongoing house fire. Most people actually never experience a house fire in their lives. Like not even once. Not even a little bit. The normal amount of having your house be currently on fire is zero.
40K notes · View notes
howtobangyourmonster · 2 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Remember how I said I couldn't stop thinking about Ghouls? yeah LOL. Anyways, I finally finished my "Ghoul Guide" which is a comic featuring made up lore about summoning nameless ghouls as well as things about them and their roles!
this by no means is comprehensive of everything I've made up for them, but I'm testing the waters with this comic! if it gets enough love I'll make an additional comic about ghoul origins, element types, and maybe even design non-assigned ghoul outfits for each era costume hehe.
ID in ALT text! transcript for comic text under the cut!
Transcript is numbered for each page the text is for!
A rite of passage for becoming “Papa”, It starts with a will and your judgement
A specialized chamber is necessary, 1) to avoid interference 2) to prevent escape.
After all; feral ghouls are raw elements, And to survive, one must tame them.
Each element has a diversity of strengths and rarity / and the first ghoul summoned sets precedent for how a leader is perceived.
Additionally, the first is the personal servant and an important assistant for life; Often times assistance is needed for future summoning, but a limit of 2 maintains respect to show you’re still capable.
However, they must accept you- you must earn their respect, and they only choose if willing. And they are not always willing.
One must be prepared to face Hell itself. To prove one is worthy to take the stage, controlling the devil’s magic is key.
It’s important to roll the dice and summon a variety, but one may only tame as many as the power of their sin allows, which, naturally, varies.
And while they’re loyal as determined by one’s rank… / Remember: The ministry comes first.
Ghoul records broken by copia.
Record: Most ghouls summoned at one time: 8 (10 including past members), Record: Most obedient first summon (for an amateur).
Record: Most powerful summons (2 S-Class ghouls); All consuming Hell Fire (AKA: “Sodo” or “Dew”); Hurricane From Hades (AKA: “Cumulus”); Record: Most elemental offshoots summoned (3). Offshoots of (then lists the symbols for quintessence and fire).
ghoul roles.
Assistance, Fighting.
Personal Guard, And of course: Performing.
end transcript.
4K notes · View notes
howtobangyourmonster · 3 months ago
Text
By Talos this can’t be happening
I am going to bed. when I wake up the horrors better have disappeared
699 notes · View notes
howtobangyourmonster · 3 months ago
Text
Oh wow…
Tumblr media Tumblr media
ID credit: 5416025956 on 小红书
(please like, reblog and give proper credit if you use any of my gifs!)
26K notes · View notes
howtobangyourmonster · 3 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
The Beast: Yoshitaka Amano 
1K notes · View notes
howtobangyourmonster · 3 months ago
Text
I’m 41 and can confirm. There’s a lot of grassroots stuff happening in smaller rural areas and it’s overwhelmingly middle-aged women doing the organizing.
tumblr leftists being surprised to see middle aged white women with signs or hats saying "deny defend depose" really reinforces for me that tumblr leftists don't actually talk to people lmao. like I did a lot of canvassing as a teenager and you know who the best most reliable political organizers are? middle aged women. you know who's bloodthirsty after watching rachel maddow every night and sharing HuffPo articles on facebook? middle aged women. maybe sheryl from iowa who's been voting religiously for democrats for the past thirty years IS more hardcore than you, tumblr user who did a write-in "protest vote." what are you going to do about that.
34K notes · View notes
howtobangyourmonster · 3 months ago
Text
I am so high and same with umbra
i am so high and cenotaph is hitting so hard right now
21 notes · View notes
howtobangyourmonster · 3 months ago
Text
Yeah that bitch is always bitching, I’m sorry
vasovagul syncope when i get my hands on you -
21 notes · View notes
howtobangyourmonster · 3 months ago
Text
Objectively funny that we're getting a new Ghost album while there's also a real conclave happening. New Popes for Everyone!
133 notes · View notes
howtobangyourmonster · 3 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
497 notes · View notes
howtobangyourmonster · 3 months ago
Text
YESSSSSS you are correct and right for saying so, this is a Tobias album, not a Ghost album, and that is fantastic and I am here for the fucking ride
i think this album is Like That bc tobias is just genuinely having fun with it and im SOOOO glad for it. this is fan service and hes the fan being serviced. keep it up bestie
311 notes · View notes
howtobangyourmonster · 3 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Nobody bother me, I’m going to be listening to ‘Umbra’ on repeat until I die, thanks
11 notes · View notes
howtobangyourmonster · 3 months ago
Text
As a fellow child of the 80s, I appreciate the whole vibe Skeletá is giving.
12 notes · View notes